Not Fulfilled? Depressed? Maybe You Need An Alignment

[SteveO]

Thanks again. This is something most people I've seen don't really talk about. I've been at 2 and 3, and 3 was enjoyable even if it made just a few cents. I still need 2 to pay bills, but I'm aiming for 4. I need to figure out what 4 looks like first.

I think this thread really deserves GOLD.

@MJ DeMarco

 

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[ElleMg]

I don't really like personality tests, particularly after reading personality isn't permanent, so I was reluctant to take the 16 personalities one again. The realisation it lead me to was pretty shocking and although the other elements shared by @eliquid are more valuable to me I'm happy I gave it a go for comparison sake..

In the midst of confusion and lacking clarity whilst recovering from an abusive relationship and family issues when I thought I was ready to get back on track I took the 16p test. I got INFJ and it impacted me deeply (I really needed guidance and found it in this). I'm the type of person who tries to help people even if I'm only one step ahead or in a similar situation, so when feeling depressed, anxious, uncertain, I was definitely using feelings to guide me and to help me empathise with others. Quite literally, I was in my feelings lol.

In reality, as confirmed by my recent result (which matches the result I had several years ago, and my core values), I usually think my way through things. My 'feeling' trait has definitely increased after going through some tough situations and connecting emotionally with others to help me through that.

I don't value predictability, organisation or structure (over spontaneity) yet because of my circumstance I desired stability and closure, naturally. One of the key traits that helped me fall in love with entrepreneurship and discover part of who I am initially was the ability to be flexible, improvise and spot opportunities.

For too long I was thinking of myself as an idealist advocate who needed structure and cooperation over competitiveness and nonconformity. Because there was a disconnect between who I thought I was, and the things I actually valued, I couldn't make much progress. No ideas made sense, and the times I'd spot opportunities I'd convince myself I needed to thoroughly think everything through and that I wasn't willing to do anything less than perfect. I became scared of criticism which as a nonconformist is something that I always kinda thrive off lol

So grateful for this thread and everyone sharing their experience and @eliquid for sharing his knowledge! I'm not big on lists or writing pages of notes so I just used sticky notes to get my ideas flowing and it's been very useful. I've been having a lot of lightbulb moments recently and actually thinking about who I am, what I value, and what my mission is proving beneficial.

 

[eliquid]

As we get close to the end of 2021 and enter into 2022, I want to bump this thread for those of you that like to do "new year, new you" type of activities.

While personally I think you shouldn't wait until Jan 1st for this, I get it and wanted to bump to get in front of those people and their eyeballs.

Hopefully, this can help you clarify your thoughts and goals for the next 12 months ahead.

 

[T. Davis]

As we get close to the end of 2021 and enter into 2022, I want to bump this thread for those of you that like to do "new year, new you" type of activities.

A few years ago when I was working as a consultant, I reviewed an app (that unfortunately, no longer exists). It had you record a bunch of things you did each day (sleep, exercise, eat well, be creative, and a bunch of others, I forget) and record your happiness each day for 10 days. Then, after 10 days, they told you what daily activities you did on days that you were the happiest.

To my utter surprise, being creative was the thing most linked to my happiness. None of the other healthy things that modern self-help media told me would make me happy made much of a difference.

It was a huge eye opener and I started to see just how different each of us are. So I started thinking and exploring which experiences really made me happy. It took a lot of reflection—"Why isn't this activity making me happy?" "What would need to change about this activity to make me happy?" etc...

Eventually I discovered, I'm happy as long as:

• I'm creating something.
• I'm learning something.
• I have the freedom to make my own decisions.
• I'm engaging with the world in ways that have postive impacts.
• I have the freedom to spend my time how I want to.

Which translates into these values: Creativity, Personal Growth, Autonomy, Kindness, & Balance.

Sometimes it's hard for us to see our values without translating them into experiences. So hopefully this approach can help some of you who are struggling to figure out your values.

 

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[eliquid]

A few years ago when I was working as a consultant, I reviewed an app (that unfortunately, no longer exists). It had you record a bunch of things you did each day (sleep, exercise, eat well, be creative, and a bunch of others, I forget) and record your happiness each day for 10 days. Then, after 10 days, they told you what daily activities you did on days that you were the happiest.

To my utter surprise, being creative was the thing most linked to my happiness. None of the other healthy things that modern self-help media told me would make me happy made much of a difference.

It was a huge eye opener and I started to see just how different each of us are. So I started thinking and exploring which experiences really made me happy. It took a lot of reflection—"Why isn't this activity making me happy?" "What would need to change about this activity to make me happy?" etc...

Eventually I discovered, I'm happy as long as:

• I'm creating something.
• I'm learning something.
• I have the freedom to make my own decisions.
• I'm engaging with the world in ways that have postive impacts.
• I have the freedom to spend my time how I want to.

Which translates into these values: Creativity, Personal Growth, Autonomy, Kindness, & Balance.

Sometimes it's hard for us to see our values without translating them into experiences. So hopefully this approach can help some of you who are struggling to figure out your values.

This is really good sharing.

I did something similar, not with an app, but listing out what made me happy and trying to extract the values from it.

So I had an idea ( sort of ) what my values could be and then jumped into all the reading of values and testing, etc.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[eliquid]

Hey all!

So for 2022, I am going to giving up a few things.. one of which is spending times on forums/social media.

This isn't for any bad reason, but to spend more time on other ventures and personal things.

I won't be updating this thread, so if you post questions and thoughts I didn't want you to think I ignored you if you are seeking an answer and I don't reply.

 

[Tim K.]

I'd love to start with a bit of very well deserved gratitude.
Thank you @eliquid for this thread and for sharing so openly your findings about your inner self. You provided immense value by sharing what steps you took and how long they took and I honor you for that.
Your systematic approach is powerful, the people that look at these kinds of tests with distain would reconsider. (I know I did) Thank you for creating such a quality thread.


It is currently week 3 with my testing (I started prior to making my account)

I have always tried to stay true to self and be me 100% of the time, so I felt finding the core values was a little easier than I expected.
It was made even easier with the resources in this thread, thankyou for those

My Values:

• Authenticity (Freedom to express self as I am)
• Autonomy (Freedom from others authority and debt)
• Family (My Brothers and Sisters)
• Learning (Absorbing any form of knowledge)
• Maximized Efficiency (Achieving maximum results in the most the least amount of time)
• Stability (No worries with income)
• Usefulness (Helping people with problems)

With these values I wrote this mission statement:

"To stay authentic applying maximized efficiency in learning skills that actually help people while creating a stable life that provides for my family and grants autonomy"​

I used eliquids mission statement as a blueprint because I really liked it's structure.
I did some tests every other day to see if these values aligned and was pleasantly surprised that they did.
The Myers Briggs ended with the result INTJ-A.
The Enneagram ended up with the result 5w4.
The CVI test ended with the result of INNOVATOR/BANKER.
The OSPP Four Temperaments Test resulted in phlegmatic.
The Left-Brain/Right-Brain Test scored me at 42% Left - 58% Right
The Multiple Intelligences Test I got logical-mathematical intelligence (97%) and intrapersonal intelligence (90%). (not thoroughly tested)
The Crystallizer Assessment made me sad with a score of Visionary: ~63 Interrogator: ~73 (not very high scores)

I did my homework and looked into the natural inclinations, strengths and weaknesses, and careers of those personalities and was agreeing with every line. ( I won't go into detail as I'm sure you've seen plenty of this type, courtesy of eliquid )
I found myself looking for more and more information. (It's extra fun to see because it was described as a nature of INTJs)

I worry for myself a lot though. Thanks to TFLF a term was burnt into my mind, "action-faking." It seems that it's in my nature to strive for knowledge (I couldn't agree more) but this works against me as I am not currently running a business.

Thankfully, my worries are easing a bit, I now have a mission statement to direct myself in knowledge consumption.
I will take a break from the tests and let the results and mission statement settle.

Overall this was a great journey so far. I have gained a system to sort content consumption. I see this as an absolute win.
I'm glad I took the time to delve deeper into self-understanding and putting my values on paper.

Bit of a long, self-centered post. I'm always open to hear advice and opinions, if you have any please do share!
Thank you for reading!

-Tim

 

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[ateares]

I'm sticking my neck out here because I know that SOME people will consider this topic along the same lines of "action-faking", "passion following", and other guru life coaching BS.

Yes this will be a massive post, covering several posts actually. It gets deep and gets into tapping emotions sometimes. When you think you know what I'm talking about, I might actually spin it around on you later. If you really like what you read, make sure you pay attention.

My aim is not to convince you or "life coach" you. My aim is to help specific people who were once like me on this forum. When you read this thread, you will know who you are and you will understand why I am helping you and posting this. For everyone else that doesn't get it, this post just wasn't meant for you at this time of your life.

I'm going to give an intro here first on why I am posting this that will then lead into the actual posting. So here goes....

Intro/Background
Years ago I really thought I knew who I was. I was living a largely unscripted life for the most part and doing things my way.

In many ways, I was also still attached to the the "script" my parents and grandparents passed down to me, as well as society. Each time the script got in my way and I was let down by it, I grew more into the unscripted me.

These events lead me to certain beliefs, values, and goals. It helped me move forward to an unscripted life well before MJ's book came out. Based on this, I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to be.

But see, life is funny in that way. You think you have it all figured out but many times you don't know the WHY behind those things. Many times you don't care to look into the WHY because "life happens" or you feel you know the real why already.

In 2008 I had a massive FTM. It wasn't my first. It was one of many and it was not my last either.

However, this one specific FTM lead me to huge financial success in my own business. Years later even with success in business, I found myself still depressed over the same things that lead to my FTM in 2008.

So in 2015 I decided to do some soul searching. What come out of that is what I present to you below.

The story jumps to the present day now below:


The Post

Every 12 months or so, I take a look at my goals and I figure out if what I completed is in alignment with what I want in life.

But the big question is, what is it I want?

And what do I do when my want's change?

It's been proven that depression can come from doing work that doesn't align with your core values, whether you know your core values or not. If you are stuck doing things daily that really do not fit you, wouldn't you be depressed too?

In 2015, my core values were:

• Individuality
• Freedom
• Trust
• Simplicity
• Activeness

These past few days I re-evaluated my core values and came up with:

• Simplicity
• Creativity
• Entrepreneurship
• Stability
• Autonomy

Now these words all mean something different, to different people. That's OK. What they mean to you when you make out your list is all that matters. Sometimes, these values can mean different things at different times to the same person...

It took me a few days actively thinking about these values ( from multiple different lists I pulled up online ) and thinking about my past, current, and future life. What I ended up with fits me now. This is key because what you want and need can change every year.

So why is this important?

As builders and entrepreneurs, you are going to get distracted with new shiny projects and ideas. Maybe in the middle of building your empire you get offered a sweet cushy executive job.

Maybe it's as simple as you get the urge to move to another city.

If you know your core values, you can compare these new projects, job offers, urges to change against the core values and see if it really makes sense to do so.

For a personal example, I took my core values above and made a personal mission statement:

"To solve problems with simplicity, creativity, and entrepreneurship while creating a full and stable life that provides autonomy"

If something comes up, I ask myself if it aligns with my core values and mission statement.

An example of this might be:

• Work on new shiny Adsense project - Is it simple? Yes. Is it creative? No ( to me ).
  • I found a no, so I should pass on this new shiny object
• Got offered a cushy VP job at XYZ Inc - Is it simple? No
  • It also isn't entrepreneurial, so I need to pass on it
• Found a new house I love, its $475,000 and I need a mortgage
  • It doesn't fit autonomy. I will feel obligated to pay my mortgage and do things to make sure it's paid like take a job or give up a trip I really wanted to go on maybe to pay the bills.
  • However, maybe I can find a creative and entrepreneurial way to still get this house, like live in for 6 months and AirBNB it the other 6 months of the year.

A lot of you might disagree with what I put above as examples.

You might say, a mortgage isn't a problem really. You need a house, it's your dream house, it's just one bill, it doesn't really impact your independence and freedom.

But this exercise is about how "I feel and I think". When you do yours, you use your feeling and wisdom that you live by. That's the whole idea of core values and how YOU personally understand them.

So if you had the same core values as me and made the same mission statement as me, it's no wonder you feel depressed and miserable working a J-O-B as the Director of some web agency. It's no wonder you're miserable working on projects where none of your creativity shines through. It's no wonder you're sick and worried all the time when you have no stability in your life bouncing from girlfriend to girlfriend while moving to a different city and changing jobs every 3 months ( if stability was one of your core values, as it is for me ).

Get the picture?

Knowing your core values is like knowing your goals.

Once you figure them out, you can make better decisions about what choices you make in life. Backing that up with a mission statement ( personal ) will further strengthen that.

BTW, your core values and mission statement can be different from the ones you pick for your business. And yes, I feel if you have a business that you should have values for it too.

One last thing I do to further ensure I stay on track is to add in Priorities.

My priorities for 2015 where these:

• Family
• Charity & Faith
• Building Net Worth

I haven't figured out my priorities yet for this year ( most likely will stay the same ) since I just changed my core values and mission statement for the next 12 months, but once I figure those out I will share here.

Since I know my core values, my mission statement, and my priorities I am never stuck trying to figure out, "what do I do?" when presented with a decision I need to make. I also know exactly how to define my goals for the year, month, week, and day because my goals are going to be reflections of my values, mission statement, and priorities.

For example, I'm not going to go through with, or make new goals, that have me trying to land a job with higher pay. That doesn't fit in anywhere since it doesn't align with a few of my values. Im also not going to make goals that have a high % of violating any of my values and priorities in the future.

I'm not going to make goals that don't reflect my values, mission statement, and priorities. I'm also going to know what I always need to be doing without second thought since I make decisions based on these values, missions statement and priorities.

And because I'm doing things that align with me and my values, I'm going to be fulfilled and happy regardless if I hit the goals I make 100% or not.

This is why you have to be brutally honest with yourself in doing this exercise.

You may even need to be like me and figure out your values, then rework them daily for the next week to get down to what really resonates with you and is honest with you. Then take a couple days to refine your mission statement and priorities to make sure they really are truly you.

Say I made one goal of making $100,000 in 12 months with Amazon Kindle and at the end of the year I miss it. I only made $45,000 instead.

Would I be sad for missing my goal? Maybe, but really only because I knew I could have done better and I really needed the extra money. However, I won't feel miserable or depressed because I was doing work and aligning my future with what resonated with me and fits me, stuff that fits into my values.

Working on Amazon Kindle projects more than likely would be:

• Simple - It's not hard to write content ( for me that is )
• Creative - I can write about any topic. And when I pick one, any idea in that topic. All with a touch of flair
• Entrepreneurial - I'm working for myself, no one tells me how to do it, sky is the limit income wise ( compared to a job )
• Stable - Maybe not rich and wealthy, but once the ball is rolling it can be stable and recurring
• Autonomy - I have freedom and independance and options working on these projects

So if I miss my goal, all is not lost.

Now think of yourself with the goal to make $100,000 and you're in a job. You have the same values, but the only way you can get more money is to convince your boss to give you a raise, or change jobs to another company. Even if you hit $100k at another company, you are not in alignment with your values and you will have this nagging and unfulfilled desire like I did prior.

It's not hard to prove either.

Look at all the depressed and sad people in the world around you. Maybe they are family members, co-workers, friends, or just people you overhear at Qdoba eating lunch next to you.

You think those people are actively doing exercises like this? Or do you think they are reacting to their surroundings like lost sheep in the woods?


Do yourself a favor....

1. Figure out your true, real core values. Spend several days on it
2. Make a mission statement around them
3. Figure out your top 3 priorities
4. Erase your old goals and make new ones based on #1-3 above. Make sure every goal fits and doesn't violate a core value or priority.
5. Once your goals are set, set smaller daily, weekly, and monthly goals to hit those larger goals. Make sure these smaller goals that set you up to your larger goals don't violate values or priorities.
6. In 6 or 12 months, re-evaluate who you are and your values. Adapt if need be.

Keep reading the thread in post below, I get into how to use this to find out what business you should start using personality tests and more....

.

This is definitely something I've focused on over the past few years. Constantly refining and revisiting it every few weeks or months to see if it needs to be tweaked...

I've landed on...

1. Freedom
2. Love
3. Joy
4. Acceptance
5. Abundance

This has really helped me to make some big changes in my life to align with these values and also my faith which is where these values come from.

My personal missions statement/purpose is "to help men leave a legacy for their families and future generation."

I've built out a course, curriculum, non-profit and working on a book based on this purpose statement and have found more fulfillment by pursuing this than anything I could have ever done in the finance world.

Thanks for sharing this post and encouraging us to be intentional about defining our values, mission statement and goals. It's much need!

Really is a game changer.

 

[eliquid]

Wanted to bump, middle of the year coming up and I know some people need a refresher

 

[MTF]

Wanted to bump, middle of the year coming up and I know some people need a refresher

I'm very glad to see you back on the forum, Jason.

 

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[Diogo Santos]

Great thread, really appreciate the in-depth content and the time you've put in this thread @eliquid went through all of the pages and will work on this as well.

Doing the 16personalities test definitely helped me understand myself better, and I agree, do it multiple times for me the first time it was completely off, and I didn't pay much attention to this for that reason.

This also helped me in my relationship as I am an ISTJ and my partner is an ENFP (literal opposites) sometimes it's a challenge, but also exciting since we fill out each other weak points. Understanding what our values are and how our mind works definitely helps. I wish I came across this sooner.

"The only problem is that the exercise left me less sure about the next steps than before. Almost as if the path I was trying to head down is counter-productive to my personality."

@Sellas, did you end up doing this exercise? I can totally relate to what you're saying here.

 

[yimi]

Great post and thank you @eliquid for the clarification on values. Quite literally, reading information like this is often invaluable

I'd like to add something to this. If you're struggling to think about your core values then just think about all the best 'phases' of your life. For example - my best times were when I lived by myself in Thailand or moved to another city and got a flat. The common 'theme' between these values is autonomy and therefore that is likely super important to me moving forward.

Another way to look at it is to look back at a time in your life when you have been depressed/low and work back from the opposite. For example, my lowest points in life Lockdown when I had to move back into my (toxic) family home and could not go anywhere - and during my first year of university, where I was stuck in a very small room in the countryside with little going on around me other than lectures and partying. Common theme? Lack of freedom/mobility - whatever you call it. The obvious solution to that is that I need freedom.

Just by looking into my past 'phases', I figured out that two of my most important values are freedom and autonomy. Another is when I sold hot tubs during the lockdown and made an excess of £5000 per month for like half a year - it was a very happy time for me. Same for my amazon FBA store during my last years of high school. Common theme? Monetary Income, Entrepreneurship etc.

Hope this helps! For reference, my current values are:

1. Autonomy
2. Routine
3. Health/Fitness
4. Monetary Success


Best,

Yimi

 

[eliquid]

As we get close to the end of 2022 and enter into 2023, I want to bump this thread for those of you that like to do "new year, new you" type of activities.

 

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[David Fitz]

Just read this again and it made me realize why I'm so unhappy lately. I'm definitely not enjoying the business I've created and I feel stuck in my city. My goal is to have the freedom to live where I want and to live in a sunny country.

 

[Paul David]

Just read this again and it made me realize why I'm so unhappy lately. I'm definitely not enjoying the business I've created and I feel stuck in my city. My goal is to have the freedom to live where I want and to live in a sunny country.

Same here mate. I actually read through some of my old posts in this forum from like 5 years ago and nothing has changed. Seen my old Facebook post in memories the other day from 11 years ago saying Can't stand these dark nights, roll on January for our next holiday. And that's still exactly the case now.

The good thing is I know why nothing has changed. Too much reading, too much spending time on this forum looking at posts that don't solve my immediate problem. Not enough action, not enough prospecting to find new clients for my business.

 

[MTF]

Just read this again and it made me realize why I'm so unhappy lately. I'm definitely not enjoying the business I've created and I feel stuck in my city. My goal is to have the freedom to live where I want and to live in a sunny country.

Same here mate. I actually read through some of my old posts in this forum from like 5 years ago and nothing has changed. Seen my old Facebook post in memories the other day from 11 years ago saying Can't stand these dark nights, roll on January for our next holiday. And that's still exactly the case now.

The good thing is I know why nothing has changed. Too much reading, too much spending time on this forum looking at posts that don't solve my immediate problem. Not enough action, not enough prospecting to find new clients for my business.

I can empathize. I did take a step toward that goal (living in a sunny country), though. Perhaps you'll find my observations useful.

2020:

• February to August: I lived in Barbados (covid made that happen). Beautiful times. Perfect weather all the time. Incredible beaches with awesome surfing. The island is very small, though, and living there long-term would be frustrating. Food is of extremely low quality as it's almost all imported and super, super expensive. I can see it as a potential getaway for a couple of months in winter but it could be problematic (for example, if your laptop breaks, you're F*cked as you won't find replacement parts locally).
• October to December: I did a road trip through Europe (checking out a few places to move to, including Portugal) and ended up living for a couple of weeks in southern Spain (Conil de la Frontera). It was the last place in continental Europe I hoped could be good enough in the winter. It wasn't that great. I mean, the weather is still a huge improvement but I personally don't see it an optimal solution since you still can't swim in the ocean (unless you have a wetsuit) or be comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt (cold days require a jacket). If I want to escape Polish weather, I want to escape to true summer-like conditions.

2021:

• October to December: traveled through all Canary Islands, spending up to two weeks on each island. This was the last place in Europe that I wanted to explore. While the weather is better than in southern Spain, it's still not summer-like. Mornings can get chilly. In December, when I went on morning walks down a beach I needed a fleece jacket. And January and February are even colder (same with ocean temperatures - a wetsuit is needed).

2022:

So far nothing. I planned Florida in October but the prices were ridiculous and I wanted to focus on my business. I plan to go somewhere in January and return to Poland roughly by April. The initial plan was New Zealand but prices are extremely high there as well so I'll probably have to figure out a different destination unless I decide to splurge lol.

I strongly encourage you guys to at least periodically go for a few days to another potential place for living and try to experience it like a local. Rent a local Airbnb (not in a tourist area), rent a car, try to do stuff you'd do if you lived there (for example, take a boxing class if you practice boxing where you live).

Go in the off-season, too, if possible, because for example Spain is completely different in the summer vs the winter. You may think that Spain is this warm paradise but winters can get really cold, especially since homes in Spain have shitty insulation and you'll freeze indoors like never before.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Same here mate. I actually read through some of my old posts in this forum from like 5 years ago and nothing has changed. Seen my old Facebook post in memories the other day from 11 years ago saying Can't stand these dark nights, roll on January for our next holiday. And that's still exactly the case now.

The good thing is I know why nothing has changed. Too much reading, too much spending time on this forum looking at posts that don't solve my immediate problem. Not enough action, not enough prospecting to find new clients for my business.

Just wanted to say that lately I’ve noticed this is an extremely common experience but people often think they’re the only ones experiencing it.

Sounds like the “reading” and the “spending time on forum” and the search for the perfect approach is a surface level manifestation of deeper issues.

The most obvious is fear of failure. You can’t fail if you don’t try, but something like “reading” can be easily rationalized as preparing yourself, rather than not trying at all.

But why are you afraid of failure?

I think deep down it has to do with self-esteem.

 

[Paul David]

Just wanted to say that lately I’ve noticed this is an extremely common experience but people often think they’re the only ones experiencing it.

Sounds like the “reading” and the “spending time on forum” and the search for the perfect approach is a surface level manifestation of deeper issues.

The most obvious is fear of failure. You can’t fail if you don’t try, but something like “reading” can be easily rationalized as preparing yourself, rather than not trying at all.

But why are you afraid of failure?

I think deep down it has to do with self-esteem.

For my current business, Covid has ultimately shaped the direction I've taken but the reason why the business hasn't grown is simply because I haven't told enough people to try my Saas.

I don't fear failure, in fact I already have customers. I know there's a massive need and other competitors have plenty of customers for a similar solution. I know 100% that if just went out and prospected for my clients I couldn't fail.

The reason for my problem is simply down to the fear of hearing the word no. Or just negative reactions to my solution in general. That's what I'm working to overcome.

For anyone else struggling in this area I've just read a book about it below, it's basically the story of the guy who decided to cure this rejection fear and filmed himself asking stupid requests.

Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection​

 

[eliquid]

Wanted to shamelessly bump for 2023.

I did a reread of this thread and Im planning to evaluate some things for the new year.. not really with more tests or anything, but just thoughts and directions and goals as priorities shift.

In the last 6 years since this thread started, my kids have graduated high school, started college or moved to other countries and started their own careers.. and now life is a lot different than it was prior.

And with major shifts in life, you need to re-evaluate where you are headed and if a pivot is needed to keep you where you want to go.

While I still love my kids ( right? ), focus has to be on my wife and me now. Things like health as you get older, finances ( retirement, grandchildren, etc ), bucket lists, and leaving a legacy afterward.

For everyone else, be thinking about your life today and the changes it may need to get you there, and how this might impact your values.

 

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[LuckyPup]

Wanted to shamelessly bump for 2023.

I did a reread of this thread and Im planning to evaluate some things for the new year.. not really with more tests or anything, but just thoughts and directions and goals as priorities shift.

In the last 6 years since this thread started, my kids have graduated high school, started college or moved to other countries and started their own careers.. and now life is a lot different than it was prior.

And with major shifts in life, you need to re-evaluate where you are headed and if a pivot is needed to keep you where you want to go.

While I still love my kids ( right? ), focus has to be on my wife and me now. Things like health as you get older, finances ( retirement, grandchildren, etc ), bucket lists, and leaving a legacy afterward.

For everyone else, be thinking about your life today and the changes it may need to get you there, and how this might impact your values.

I loved your OP and have watched this thread for over a year. Have you read The Second Mountain, by David Brooks? Good book for the stage of life in which you appear to be. I think you might enjoy it.

 

[eliquid]

I loved your OP and have watched this thread for over a year. Have you read The Second Mountain, by David Brooks? Good book for the stage of life in which you appear to be. I think you might enjoy it.

I have not, but thanks for bringing it up as I will add it to my reading list for 2023