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My Life Has Been A Faulty Belief Of A 5 Year Old

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SeeYouAtTheTop

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I want to share this with the community because I just got done reading the NOTABLE thread,
and I’ve recently done something which has left me disgusted with myself, but now I’m in a new space of possibility and potential growth.

I want to start by saying I highly recommend Jordan Peterson to anybody willing to listen. This guy has been a life-saver to many people, including myself. These past 6 months I’ve been reconnecting with God and finding a purpose higher than my own selfish interests. The reason I bring this up is JP has a business called Self-Authoring found at selfauthoring.com (<- no affiliate link, just giving credit) and I did the past authoring program on Friday the 12th.

The program goes like this: you divide your life into 6 unique “epochs” of time, then you write about significant experiences in those epochs which cause you to have any emotional energy towards those memories. If you remember something from your past which still makes you angry, sad, anxious, etc. It’s because you haven’t processed what happened correctly, and your brain is still in fight or flight mode. When this happens your mind literally thinks it’s still in danger, and consequentially your body will produce cortisol due to the mental state (even if the memory is repressed!!)

Okay, so here’s what I found when doing this program. My entire life has been lived under the faulty assumption of a 5-year-old boy.

When I was 5 I lived in California with my parents, and I had a best friend named Timothy. We did everything together, from jumping on the trampoline, playing cops and robbers, racing bikes, and playing baseball with the other kids. Well, my mother got a job transfer to work at NASA in Florida, and she decided to take it because the pay was better and it meant being a little closer to family.

Long story short, the next thing I know I’m in Florida realizing that I’m never going back to California for a long time, this is my new life. Here’s where the belief comes into play. I was an angry 5-year-old at my parents and I decided I would not accept moving to Florida, and I would have no part in it. I was mad they took me away from my previous life, and I blamed them for making me lose my best friend.

This was a belief I’ve been holding for nearly 20 years… Seriously, 20 years I’ve been acting under this faulty belief pattern where it tinted everything in my reality. I realized this after writing in the past authoring course the same story which spanned across all 6 epochs, and it went like this.

I blamed everybody but myself for the way my life has gone. It started with my parents when we moved, it transitioned to my grade school peers who teased me because I was acting weird (which I was), and then to my university life. Everything has been the fault of something outside myself.

It wasn’t until I wrote all this down Friday that I saw the horrific consequences of my old belief and thought patterns. If I could change JUST ONE THING in my life it would be to tell my 5-year-old self to view the move as an adventure instead of requirement.

After writing it all down I immediately realized my life was a result of my own actions. I was responsible for everything which has happened to me, there was nobody to blame but number one, myself.

This hit me hard… I spent this weekend in serious contemplation about all the stories I’ve been telling myself, and how disgusted I am with the way it’s gone. This weekend I made a personal pact with myself that I’m done with this story. It’s over, it’s time to write a new one.

I wanted to share this with anyone still looking for purpose or a reason to get started. For the longest time, I’ve felt like I had no purpose, and I was the kind of guy who blamed all my failures, and successes, on events outside myself.

I want to end with this quote by @IceCreamKidWhatever it is that we love is what we usually end up focusing on all the time. What we focus on usually becomes a habit. A habit repeated over time eventually crystallizes into a final phase that Napoleon Hill refers to as hypnotic rhythm.”

I fell in love with my story because it protected me from the harsh reality of my situation. I feel like I’m finally awake from a bad dream. If you’re stuck trying to start, if you’re a wantrapreanuer, or if you’re failing continuously, it might be because you’re still living in the past.

I can say, without a doubt, I have an explicitly clear purpose now. It honestly came naturally once I burned all the dead wood rotting in my psyche.

It’s a long road to walk, but it’s a better story than the one I was living previously.
 

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ZF Lee

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Good write-up.

You remind me of how I had to part with my girl who had to go to college in a faraway state.

I blamed college for taking her away.
I blamed the labour market and the economy in general for that.
I blamed her parents, my parents and everyone else around us that didn't stop this tragedy from happening.

I was 'living in the past'. I was like you. I didn't want to let go.

Then I realised I could just go to the same college as she did.

Applied. Actually got the place. Now I could join her and be with her.

Hooray?

Then it struck me.

The entire process would repeat itself. She would go away to work for another company after she graduates.

She would go away with a different circle of friends.

I thought about it, and decided that something would always exist to pull her away from me. It would be out of her control.

And the only way out of it was to find my girl a means of never needing to be subject by those things, ever again.

So I looked for a new way of thinking and living that far exceeded her present ventures. And I came here.


It's been a year or so since she left.

I have since started some Upwork gigs, did some arbitrage and am finalising some details on products and financial analysis.

I documented my little successes and failures in my daily texts to my girl. She still finds some time to read them even though she runs a busy schedule. One day, I hope to share some of them with the forum.

I am glad I didn't let her go. She led me to process and better things.

On blaming, I have began to think that it is simply an excuse for not claiming 100% of the rewards of your work.
 

MJ DeMarco

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I fell in love with my story because it protected me from the harsh reality of my situation.

Congrats on seeing this.

We do this all the time.
Our self-immolated sacred cows gives us permission to not act.
It gives us permission to blame.
It transfers responsibility from yourself, to someone else.

When this happens, you have an clear and preferred excuse for living Scripted.

Sadly, the excuse is a lie we tell ourselves over and over again.

Thanks for sharing the story and welcome to the forum.
 

SeeYouAtTheTop

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Jul 12, 2017
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Good write-up.

You remind me of how I had to part with my girl who had to go to college in a faraway state.

I blamed college for taking her away.
I blamed the labour market and the economy in general for that.
I blamed her parents, my parents and everyone else around us that didn't stop this tragedy from happening.

I was 'living in the past'. I was like you. I didn't want to let go.

Then I realised I could just go to the same college as she did.

Applied. Actually got the place. Now I could join her and be with her.

Hooray?

Then it struck me.

The entire process would repeat itself. She would go away to work for another company after she graduates.

She would go away with a different circle of friends.

I thought about it, and decided that something would always exist to pull her away from me. It would be out of her control.

And the only way out of it was to find my girl a means of never needing to be subject by those things, ever again.

So I looked for a new way of thinking and living that far exceeded her present ventures. And I came here.


It's been a year or so since she left.

I have since started some Upwork gigs, did some arbitrage and am finalising some details on products and financial analysis.

I documented my little successes and failures in my daily texts to my girl. She still finds some time to read them even though she runs a busy schedule. One day, I hope to share some of them with the forum.

I am glad I didn't let her go. She led me to process and better things.

On blaming, I have began to think that it is simply an excuse for not claiming 100% of the rewards of your work.

Thank you for the thoughtful response. It sounds like you have a good girl who help keeps you motivated towards your goals. Partners like that can be the x-factor in success, and if you've ever played sports than you know what I'm talking about. I remember when I played baseball, and whenever my girlfriend and her friends where there I swear I got into a zone of awareness/competency (almost like a flow state) unlike anything I've ever experienced.

I think what you're talking about is on the same wavelength as that, because your girlfriend is motivating you to become better, even if it means letting go of the previous stories which kept you comfortable.

Napoleon Hill talked about this metaphysical concept called "Sex Transmutation", and if you haven't heard about it I would recommend looking it up. Instead of wasting your libido on pursuit promiscuous hookups, leverage the energy into something creative. (This sounds a little "woo-woo", but I think there's something to it.)
 

SeeYouAtTheTop

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Jul 12, 2017
9
37
27
27
Fort Lauderdale
Congrats on seeing this.

We do this all the time.
Our self-immolated sacred cows gives us permission to not act.
It gives us permission to blame.
It transfers responsibility from yourself, to someone else.

When this happens, you have an clear and preferred excuse for living Scripted.

Sadly, the excuse is a lie we tell ourselves over and over again.

Thanks for sharing the story and welcome to the forum.

Thank you, I took the leap and just got the insider subscription, which I'll be reading for weeks with all the content in there!
 

LeoistheSun

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Oct 3, 2017
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Thank you for the thoughtful response. It sounds like you have a good girl who help keeps you motivated towards your goals. Partners like that can be the x-factor in success, and if you've ever played sports than you know what I'm talking about. I remember when I played baseball, and whenever my girlfriend and her friends where there I swear I got into a zone of awareness/competency (almost like a flow state) unlike anything I've ever experienced.

I think what you're talking about is on the same wavelength as that, because your girlfriend is motivating you to become better, even if it means letting go of the previous stories which kept you comfortable.

Napoleon Hill talked about this metaphysical concept called "Sex Transmutation", and if you haven't heard about it I would recommend looking it up. Instead of wasting your libido on pursuit promiscuous hookups, leverage the energy into something creative. (This sounds a little "woo-woo", but I think there's something to it.)
Please be careful with what Napoleon Hill wrote.

Theres lots of info on him being one of the earliest self-help scammers out there.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/paleof...leon-hill-the-greatest-self-he-1789385645/amp
 

GMSI7D

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After writing it all down I immediately realized my life was a result of my own actions. I was responsible for everything which has happened to me, there was nobody to blame but number one, myself.


@IceCreamKid “.



this is not exactly like that. let me explain

the hurricane or the war ot whatever wich will destroy your house tommorow is not your fault


logicaly you can blame adversity.


don't fall into that self pity and self development trap

you have to be real here

there are things that are outside your control in your life anyway and for ever



there are people smarter than you and me at the top of this world

i promise you. you can't stop them

and you can't stop them from doing what they have to do to: destroying society or whatever

but you can choose how you react to that

this is the true responsability that you are talking about


here is what i mean



man search for meaning.jpg



victor.jpg



man.jpg



choosing how you react to adversity is the only thing you can do

you can't control global conditions in your life

only your response to life's stimuli



.
 
Last edited:

Iammelissamoore

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I'm grateful for your post, it reminds me of my pitfall which was people-pleasing.

I dislike conflict, and in my younger self, I lived to ensure I wasn't the cause of conflict with anyone, BUT, what happens to people-pleasers? They make everyone happy but themselves.

When I say I am grateful for this forum, I am beyond Grateful. My quest for entrepreneurship, the failures I experienced, the growth I have experienced, have all taught me valuable lessons.

I learnt specifically that if you do good, bad or indifferent, people will love you, hate you or not even care; people have their own ways of seeing things, they will disagree and life will still go on.

As we all learn on our entrepreneurial quests, at some point, we're going to have to do things we don't want to do so we can be where we want to be. We don't have time for the false pride, and eventually we become numb to people's disappointment because we recognise we have the ability to craft the empowering lives we desire and not that which others "hoped" for us.

As I grew up and continue to grow on this entrepreneurial quest, I can safely say I am happy, challenges and all, as I have recognised, challenges are disguised solutions in waiting! Therefore, I embrace whichever challenges come along, as it gives me room to think differently, change my mindset as may be required and grow in different directions as the Universe may see fit.

Growing out and away from my younger people-pleasing self, I'm experiencing a freedom like none other and I couldn't care less about what society thinks, I've overcome a major hurdle that kept my growth stunted for too long. Now, my wings of freedom allow me to soar to my heart's desire at my pace, while building my own greatness.
 
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xxlfire

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You need to see "John Bradshaw - Homecoming" he explains how your "inner child" is basically wounded from stuff that happens in your childhood and how to fix those wounds. :)
 

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