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INTRO My job is all I think about and I hate it

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Zone

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Feb 24, 2019
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Hello all,

I've lurked these forums on and off for years. I'll take this opportunity to introduce myself a bit and rant about my life. This may not be too productive, but I think it may be cathartic to gather and express my thoughts. Entrepreneurship has always been at the back of my mind, so I feel like by putting this out in the world will help me to take some action. I'll take any advice as well, and I don't expect it to be sugarcoated :)

I'm 24 years old. I graduated university in 2017, and after working my regular summer job, I was looking for my first permanent job post graduation. I was "lucky" enough to get one after only a few months. This time job searching definitely gave me an appreciation for how soul crushing being unemployed can be. The days all start to blur together and it's really easy to get stuck in a rut. It's like the movie groundhog day, and I'm sure many others have things way worse than I ever did. However, after working my current job for over a year now...I wish I was unemployed again. Often on my morning commute I find myself repeating "I F*cking hate my life, I F*cking hate my life, I F*cking hate my life...".

In my current position it seems like no matter how much time I put in, it's never enough. This makes it hard to focus on other things in my life. I think this is partly due to my own shortcomings and partly due to the job itself. The person in the position before me had quit after 2 months for a job with better pay, the person before that worked the job for 3 years but was fired, and the person before that had a meltdown and quit from stress. Both the organization and workload has more than doubled in size since then. $48,000 CAD a year just isn't worth all the extra time I've put in. Deep down I believe I can manage it all, but what it comes down to is that I don't care enough. I basically haven't enjoyed a weekend, let alone a weekday, in over a year. I took a break from working on a work project today (a Sunday...) to sign up on here and post this.

With all that said, this job has taught me a lot. I've learned the importance of good habits (although I have a long long ways to go). I've always been a lazy person, and now I'm not afraid to put in the work. The problem is that all this effort is being directed into the black hole that is my shitty "9-5". I've learned how to manage my time better, how to communicate better, how to better deal with stress better, etc. Now the cons are outweighing the pros and I need to make some big life changes for the sake of my happiness.

I've always liked the idea of entrepreneurship. Of course, I realize it takes a lot more than this to actually get anywhere. I'm not sure I'm even worthy of being called a wantrepreneur. When I was around 5 years old I wanted to be an "inventor". In my early teens I got into coding, and I had dreams of releasing games and apps (this was around 2008 when someone could have made a fart app and it could make thousands of dollars). In a class assignment, I remember writing that my dream job would be "serial entrepreneur". I had some pretty solid game ideas and some pretty shitty website ideas throughout high school, but none of it mattered anyways because I wouldn't put the time in. As a side note, I never became really good at coding. It's something I've dabbled in as a hobby on/off throughout the years but I pretty much have nothing to show for it. With that said, I think I have what it takes to complete a coding related project.

When I was unemployed over a year ago, I did start working on a web project for a couple months related to teaching guitar. I believe I can offer a product that creates value for myself as well as beginner to advanced guitarists. I'm not sure that the market would be big enough to get me out of my day job though, so perhaps I should think bigger. $48,000 a year should be far from impossible to attain.

Basically I'm on the fence between hopeless depression and fiery passion. Now I need action. I got myself into this situation and I know I can get myself out. I feel more capable and confident in my skills than I've ever been, but there's a long ways to go. With that said, I don't really have a concrete plan. It's been a while since I've been on these forums so I'll have to do some focused searching.

Here are my thoughts off the top of my head:
  1. Read The Millionaire Fastlane (fully). I just dusted off my copy I had purchased around 2013. Of course I had never finished it, like with everything else in my life.
  2. Update my resume, tie up loose ends at my job, and get the F*ck out. That place is toxic for me. If I had a job with little/no overtime then I can focus more on other things. May be easier said than done. This is also the busy time of year which makes things harder. No excuses though.
  3. Make sure I make time for entrepreneurship every day. I'm not sure if I should set a certain amount of time (ex 3 hours). Making sure I do something every day (ex playing guitar, yoga) has helped me to develop good habits. This is something I've gotten a lot better at, but I definitely have a lot of room to grow. For now, I'm thinking the habit is more important than how much time I allocate, but maybe I should set a specific amount of time so that I can measure progress. Would it be beneficial to plan every hour of my day?
  4. Brainstorm 10 ideas every day. My guitar teaching project is what I'd most likely be working on for now. I think it's important that I have a finished project, so I'd like to set some milestones and deadlines in order to have a project ready for release in 3 months.
  5. Reduce bad habits. Video games, mindlessly browsing the internet, etc, are things that are still taking too much of my time and holding me back.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I'm sure this can all be boiled down to the same story seen a thousand times on these forums. Any advice/direction is appreciated, but with that said, I don't expect to be spoon fed. Back to my 9-5 work project for now, but not for too long.
 

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NMdad

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This terrible job that you hate is GIFT.

Why? Because your lousy job is your FTE (i.e., "f*ck this" event). It'll spark the fire to change your life.

Stop saying that you never finish anything. Thoughts like that are poison. And they're not true. Those kinds of thoughts are also a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset. At the very least, you finished a degree--an accomplishment that takes years, effort, and building habits.

You're right: The habit/process is more important than the hours you put in or the outcome achieved. Build the habits, and the outcomes will follow.

Oh, and you don't have to be a coding expert--you can be the orchestrator/conductor to get something built.

Your sh*tty job could also provide opportunities: What problems can you identify & solve in that industry?

Remember: for any idea you have, it should meet the CENTS criteria.
 

NMdad

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You can do this.

I used to have a toxic boss, and it was the best thing that happened to me. It fired my motivation to do something--anything--every single day to extricate myself from that job. I was able to start a consulting business earning 3.5x what my old job paid, plus a ton of time freedom. I'm not on the fastlane--yet--but working toward it.

Your terrible job is your golden ticket off the treadmill.
 

James Klymus

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Be glad you're experiencing this at 24 rather than 42, with kids, CC debt, car payments, mortgage, a family to support.

I think most people learn too late that mindlessly going through a job for 40-50 years is NOT the fulfilling path, they learn this in their 40's - 50's when they really have a harder time taking risk.

They dont have their parents to fall back on like most of us, they cant live with a bunch of room mates to get cheap rent. Just like MJ talks about being tied down like this in unscripted. The less responsibility you have the better.

I know it's harder to see the big picture when you're in your own day to day situation, but that's why were here at the forum, to help you see that you can make it out of this.
 

lowtek

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Welcome... I can relate. I'm working a freelance gig that is quickly going south, and I'm about to bail. I suppose that's the benefit of the freelance life.

With respect to changing your habits, what helps for me is to create a habit tracker. Give yourself a check or an X for whether or not you were successful, and just try to string together as many good days as possible.

Good news is that you're young, and any positive changes you make now will dividends for decades into the future.
 
OP
OP
Z

Zone

New Contributor
Feb 24, 2019
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Cool, thanks for the feedback everyone. Definitely gave me some things to think about, and I'm pleasantly surprised with the support.

This terrible job that you hate is GIFT.

Why? Because your lousy job is your FTE (i.e., "f*ck this" event). It'll spark the fire to change your life.

Stop saying that you never finish anything. Thoughts like that are poison. And they're not true. Those kinds of thoughts are also a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset. At the very least, you finished a degree--an accomplishment that takes years, effort, and building habits.

You're right: The habit/process is more important than the hours you put in or the outcome achieved. Build the habits, and the outcomes will follow.

Oh, and you don't have to be a coding expert--you can be the orchestrator/conductor to get something built.

Your sh*tty job could also provide opportunities: What problems can you identify & solve in that industry?

Remember: for any idea you have, it should meet the CENTS criteria.
Those first 2 paragraphs are very inspirational, thanks. You may be right about the negative thoughts. For me, I say that I never finish anything because I'm a creative type that has never really put anything out there. I kind of feel like a fraud because of that, but I say things like this because being self critical does motivate me to an extent. You're probably right though that these aren't the thoughts I should focus on if I want to change that.

Regarding using my job for ideas, that's great advice. It's something I've thought of, but not something I actively think about throughout my day. Today I thought about this several times and had a few ideas. I deal with asset tracking - maybe I could create an easy electronic sign out/return for equipment in organizations. There was an emergency that my company wasn't ready for - how about an easy emergency alert service that shoots out a text, email, and robocall. I know that these exist but I'm sure I could thing of a better way to do it if I look at the competition. I don't think I'd necessarily go with these ideas, but if anything, my job is definitely a gold mine of problems to be solved haha.

You can do this.

I used to have a toxic boss, and it was the best thing that happened to me. It fired my motivation to do something--anything--every single day to extricate myself from that job. I was able to start a consulting business earning 3.5x what my old job paid, plus a ton of time freedom. I'm not on the fastlane--yet--but working toward it.

Your terrible job is your golden ticket off the treadmill.
Thanks, very inspirational as well. I totally agree and I believe it will be a blessing in the long run.

Be glad you're experiencing this at 24 rather than 42, with kids, CC debt, car payments, mortgage, a family to support.

I think most people learn too late that mindlessly going through a job for 40-50 years is NOT the fulfilling path, they learn this in their 40's - 50's when they really have a harder time taking risk.

They dont have their parents to fall back on like most of us, they cant live with a bunch of room mates to get cheap rent. Just like MJ talks about being tied down like this in unscripted. The less responsibility you have the better.

I know it's harder to see the big picture when you're in your own day to day situation, but that's why were here at the forum, to help you see that you can make it out of this.
Thanks, I definitely do have time on my side, but I should make better use of it as well! I'm definitely at a point in my life with fairly minimal responsibility outside of my job which helps. There's also very little risk of me starving/being homeless. I'm debt free, have few expenses (living with my parents), and I wouldn't miss my savings too much if I were to lose it all.

Welcome my friend, appreciate the intro.
Thank ya thank ya. I've always been captivated by the philosophy in TMF, and I'm looking forward to applying it.

Welcome... I can relate. I'm working a freelance gig that is quickly going south, and I'm about to bail. I suppose that's the benefit of the freelance life.

With respect to changing your habits, what helps for me is to create a habit tracker. Give yourself a check or an X for whether or not you were successful, and just try to string together as many good days as possible.

Good news is that you're young, and any positive changes you make now will dividends for decades into the future.
Good advice thanks. For playing guitar I used to tell myself to practice for an hour a day. If I didn't meet this I'd quickly get discouraged and not play at all. Then I told myself to just pick it up every day, no matter how long, and I would try not to break the streak. Back then I think I just wanted to be good at guitar, I didn't want to BECOME good at it. Now I can't put the thing down. I should definitely make a checklist of habits to tick off each day and apply this to other areas of my life.
 

Ernman

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Aloha Zone, welcome to the forum. Before you leave your current job, I recommend you finish reading TMF and, if possible, UNSCRIPTED. Most people need income to live and it will give you time to build up some reserve and plan your exit. Oddly enough, it is easier to get another job while you are still employed. IF that is your plan. This is a great forum with awesome contributors. I am amazed every day at the valuable lessons I am learning.
 

ZCP

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@Zone none of this means shit if you don't do something.
what is the action plan? due dates for each item?
let's get to work and get the F*ck out of there and start your life. now.
 

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