Money Can Buy Happiness?

[PEERless]

See MP Dunleavey's 7 Smart Ways to Buy Happiness. Where is it that we get the most joy from our money?

1. Relationships,
2. Time,
3. Health,
4. Learning,
5. Debt Relief,
6. Giveaways, and
7. Security.

I don't know if I agree with the organization and prioritization. Hell, it seems like beyond the fulfillment of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the "best" way to get joy out of one's money is probably pretty subjective. Thoughts?
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Commentary/Experts/Dunleavey/MP_dunleavey.aspx

 

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[Dave]

This is totally off-topic but that's a really cool cover you have for your book PEERLess.

 

[rcardin]

As my grandfather used to say "Money can't buy you happiness, but lack of money sucks!"

 

[hakrjak]

"I've been rich and I've been poor, and I'll take rich over poor any day..." - Anonymous

 

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[maximus20895]

This quote/term or what ever you want to call it has always bothered me. If money can't buy you happiness then why is the whole world based around it and why is everyone complaining about not having it.

I think this quote or what not was made to give the illusion that people are not greedy, but I honestly don't know what is greedy about wanting a good life or a better life. Don't we all?

 

[hatterasguy]

Povery can't buy ****.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

money can't buy happiness but you're sad in beautiful places!

 

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[Bobo]

I really wish those who say you can't buy happiness would let me take them shopping once before they made their mind up.

 

[rocksolid]

If money is not buying you happiness then your not spending it right!

 

[imcmillionaire]

Money cannot buy happiness but it sure is a good substitute my girlfriend told me one time.

But i cannot agree more...i think money is the last thing that can actually buy you happiness, based on the fact that happinedd is an internal mindset that cannot be full filled with external object such as money, cars or houses.

Happiness is truly doing something you love and cherish. Or being with that special someone, who is everything to you!

Does Anyone agree? Rocksolid or BOBO? Do anyone of you guys have that special someone?

 

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[hatterasguy]

I know a lot of miserable rich people. But its far better to be miserable and rich, than miserable and working at Walmart.

 

[Bobo]

IMC - yeah, I really do. I married my best friend.

Thing is, it wasn't until I was happy with myself, my life and me INDEPENDENT of her that my happiness 'stuck'.

So my thinkin is if you are happy and married to your best friend, you have a LOT of fun with money

 

[klh6686]

I know a lot of miserable rich people. But its far better to be miserable and rich, than miserable and working at Walmart.

I hate when people say "I know a lot of miserable rich people" implying they're miserable because they're rich, that just means you know a lot of miserable people and they happen to be rich lol

 

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[hatterasguy]

I wasn't implying that at all, you did.

They are miserable because they cheat, are SOB's, or abuse alcohol.

If your a miserable drunk, all a few million will do is make you a miserable drunk with some money.

 

[Jonleehacker]

The thing about happiness is that it has two definitions.

The first is a feeling, and money can definitely buy it.

The second is much deeper, where there is no dependence on ANYTHING external (even including mates, career etc), it is simply a fruit of inner peace and relaxation in any circumstance.

People who try or expect to buy the second one with money are doomed to misery because they are going in exactly the wrong direction.

But if you achieve number 2, then having play money is the best thing in the world.

 

[Jill]

Jon concisely said in a few words what was going to take me a lot more words to say. I totally agree, tho. There is what I call "feel-good happy", which is a temporal, situational thing. Examples might be driving a great car, getting a massage, buying a new pair of jeans that make you feel great, vacations to fancy resorts, a great bottle of wine, etc. It's still a very real feeling which I don't discount, and one that I strive for daily. Money can definitely buy most of this type of happiness.

Then there is what I call "Inner happy" or "joy" which is not so fleeting. It is the byproduct of peace of mind, and all the other things that I value such as contentment, love, community, comfort, beauty. Money can buy some of this type of happiness (e.g. financial security which yields financial peace of mind), but most of it can be had on any budget.

And then some things overlap.

But ultimately, it all depends on how you define happiness and how you define your values in life. i.e. If I highly value beauty and comfort, then a beautiful, comfortable home/hotel/car will bring me great joy, because that's primarily how I define "beauty and comfort". But one can also be comfortable on a bean bag with a piece of art that is beautiful to him, if that's how he defines "beauty and comfort".

 

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[LagunaLauren]

I agree. Personally, I am happier with wealth simply because so much stress comes from lack of money. Money is a tool. It doesn't make someone one way or another. If you are a generous, giving person, money will enable you to become significantly philanthropic. If you are greedy and selfish, more money may only exacerbate that quality. I know mostly extremely happy self-made mega millionaires. Interestingly, I know one guy who inherited all his wealth and is throwing his life away. Literally. Happiness truly must come from within. Having said that, enjoying the finer things in life money can afford like flying in a private jet definitely makes me feel warm and fuzzy! :smxB:

 

[rocksolid]

I have married my best friend and we are together for 15 yrs. She brings me tons of happiness but when you don't have money then you have tons of stress which of course makes you unhappy. Here is an example. People here say happiness is doing something that you love to do for a living, but not everybody is that lucky. In fact most people do what they need to do to get by. I have a mortgage, credit card bills, a special needs child who cost us plenty of money ( I would not trade him for the world, He is one of the best things in my life!, but expensive )and so on. When you don't have money to pay for these things and you are not putting away any money in the bank for your future and barely anything for your child’s education, then you have stress. Stress breaks up relationships and can make you unhealthy as well. Now you have a real problem on your hands. That is why I say if you have money than most of those problems vanish instantly. I think people who have no money say being rich is everything and people who have money say money isn't everything and that is because they already have it. A friend of mine who is rich always tells me that money isn't everything. I told him ok, then you should just give 85 % of what you make and have to charity since money isn't everything and he looked at me like I had 4 heads. Bottom line I am happy and our marrage is strong so I am rich beacuse of that, but more money wouldn't hurt.

 

[imcmillionaire]

IMC - yeah, I really do. I married my best friend.

Thing is, it wasn't until I was happy with myself, my life and me INDEPENDENT of her that my happiness 'stuck'.

So my thinkin is if you are happy and married to your best friend, you have a LOT of fun with money

Married to your best friend HUH? That's a concept i never really acknowledged.
I always thought that my future wife will be someone i just love, but not my best friend...or turned into my best friend....... But i guess i just lack experience, but its true! They do say if your spouse is your best friend, then you got a long lasting marriage.

BOBo....Do you believe that is true? What is the key to a long lasting marriage if any?
This is also open to others!

 

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[imcmillionaire]

I have married my best friend and we are together for 15 yrs. She brings me tons of happiness but when you don't have money then you have tons of stress which of course makes you unhappy. Here is an example. People here say happiness is doing something that you love to do for a living, but not everybody is that lucky. In fact most people do what they need to do to get by.

Great Information, i appreciate it, But i cannot agree with the above. And let me tell you why. I think everyone on this planet has a special talent that can allow them to become financially free if they just started to believe in themselves an ask them selves profound questions. For example

What would i o if i wasnt going to get paid for it?
What gives me the greatest sense of satisfaction?
What can i be the best at and enjoy at the same time?
Why do i think i cannot be rich?
What is stopping me from living a better life and is the risk worth the reward?

You see i believe that if a person wants to chnage there financial income, they must first change the thing that control there every move. THE HUMAN MIND!
Once they start to read books, listen to tapes and stop listening to other people....they can start to flourish at any age....

Any feeback Rock Solid?

 

[rocksolid]

Hi imcmillionaire,

I see by your profile that you are 21 yrs old. Life is about stages, IMO. In your 20's you go out and experiment what things you like and dislike which includes experiences and people and prospective partners to marry. In your 30’s you start to put those things you like to work for you ( if you are lucky) life has many unforeseen bumps in the road and you have to adjust to them. Here is my situation so you can understand better. I am 39 yrs old and have a good secure job. My wife is not working due to our son’s needs ( bump ). We have a mortgage and everything in NY just went up including utilities and transportation ( bump). We have some savings but to risk it all on a business that may or may not work out is a risk that at 39 I am not able to afford where a 21 yr old might have no problem trying. I am working on getting little business ventures going and hopefully they will be successful. My point is different phases in life allows you certain risks. Take advantage of your enthusiasm and age. I always wanted to start a business when I was younger then I got married, then I bought a house, then I had a child…..see where this is going? I’m not complaining, I am content with what I have but by putting off things I wanted to do my priorities changed as I got older.

You asked for what makes a good marriage….again my opinion. Make sure you marry somebody you like and respect. If it is a good marriage she will always be in your corner through thick and thin. Have similar goals in life but be flexible because goals sometimes change. Be willing to compromise. Sex is great but it will eventually slow down and when it does you have to want to talk to your partner. And last, laugh and enjoy life together because it goes very fast. Hmmmm….. I may go look up Hallmark and see if they need any writers.

 

[LagunaLauren]

Great questions. Good to remind yourself that when you get caught up in life, it's important to stop, relax and find the answers to what will really fulfill you.
-As for the successful marriage advice, I also consider my husband my best friend. We've been together 13 years; married 11. We have the best relationship I know of. Biggest reasons are that we respect each other, we communicate well, we make each other laugh and we are totally committed to our kids. We are both Type A go-getters who support each other unconditionally. We don't need each other, but we want each other and being together makes us better, stronger people. Our strengths and weaknesses are complimentary. (He's blunt, I'm diplomatic, etc.). We also take care of ourselves and work out, as respect for ourselves and for each other. (Maintaining attraction and intimacy are important). I am grateful for him and appreciate him every day. We never take each other for granted.

 

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[randallg99]

rocksolid: good luck with your new endeavor and family.

I agree with much of your post. life cycle plays a big role in our ability to sustain risks. It wasn't until just tonight a private post made me realize most of my accomplishments have taken place while I was in my late 20's and early 30's.

maybe now that I'm about to enter the mid-age life crisis I can resume the fast lane mentality....

 

[imcmillionaire]

Hi imcmillionaire,

I see by your profile that you are 21 yrs old. Life is about stages, IMO. In your 20's you go out and experiment what things you like and dislike which includes experiences and people and prospective partners to marry. In your 30’s you start to put those things you like to work for you ( if you are lucky) life has many unforeseen bumps in the road and you have to adjust to them. Here is my situation so you can understand better. I am 39 yrs old and have a good secure job. My wife is not working due to our son’s needs ( bump ). We have a mortgage and everything in NY just went up including utilities and transportation ( bump). We have some savings but to risk it all on a business that may or may not work out is a risk that at 39 I am not able to afford where a 21 yr old might have no problem trying. I am working on getting little business ventures going and hopefully they will be successful. My point is different phases in life allows you certain risks. Take advantage of your enthusiasm and age. I always wanted to start a business when I was younger then I got married, then I bought a house, then I had a child…..see where this is going? I’m not complaining, I am content with what I have but by putting off things I wanted to do my priorities changed as I got older.

You asked for what makes a good marriage….again my opinion. Make sure you marry somebody you like and respect. If it is a good marriage she will always be in your corner through thick and thin. Have similar goals in life but be flexible because goals sometimes change. Be willing to compromise. Sex is great but it will eventually slow down and when it does you have to want to talk to your partner. And last, laugh and enjoy life together because it goes very fast. Hmmmm….. I may go look up Hallmark and see if they need any writers.

I thank you for you great words of wisdom. You are right i am young and experimenting is something i plan on doing a lot...trust me. One of the thinking that stuck out in my mind was tha you said, lie is about different stages and i cannot agree more. I guess thru my eyes i am still in the stage where life is all new and different.
I But as i get older i bet, i will maybe feel different. escpecially when i have my kids.
I really appreciate your detailed response.

TO Happiness! :yourock:

 

[Bobo]

Married to your best friend HUH? That's a concept i never really acknowledged.
I always thought that my future wife will be someone i just love, but not my best friend...or turned into my best friend....... But i guess i just lack experience, but its true! They do say if your spouse is your best friend, then you got a long lasting marriage.

BOBo....Do you believe that is true? What is the key to a long lasting marriage if any?
This is also open to others!

Well I was married before so my grandparents who were married over 75 years would be the right people to ask, but this is my last one - seriously.

I don't know "the" secret but I think I have figured out my secret.
I've read a ton about marriage and relationships and I have mulled it over a lot.

Y'know - most couples I see who are unhappy sit around bitching about what their spouse doesn't do right. I kinda had an epiphany about that one that came straight from the Bible.
It said "Husbands, love your wives". There was more to it but those 4 words were sufficient. If you take the attitude that your job is simply to be a good spouse and it is not your job to 'fix' your spouse, life is a lot easier.

...but pick one who will do the same. I was just lucky, you meet a smart girl with green eyes who loves college football you don't think, you don't question, you whack her over the head with a club and haul her back to your cave, game over.

Seriously, the same concept works in other areas of life. You know the folks who are miserable at work and are always bitching about the management or the policies or whatever. Notice that the people who enjoy work seem to do their own job well, take pride in doing it well and don't waste time worrying about things that are out of their direct control.

Funny thing you didn't know: Bobo came from Jill's habit of calling me her 'beau'. Lacking originality, I call her Bobo too. Confusing matters more is our daughter, who we call Boo, or Booboo.

This is a strange house, there is usually a lot of laughter and raised voices are incredibly rare but I am pretty sure that a normal person would find us ...odd.

 

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[imcmillionaire]

Well I was married before so my grandparents who were married over 75 years would be the right people to ask, but this is my last one - seriously.

I don't know "the" secret but I think I have figured out my secret.
I've read a ton about marriage and relationships and I have mulled it over a lot.

Y'know - most couples I see who are unhappy sit around bitching about what their spouse doesn't do right. I kinda had an epiphany about that one that came straight from the Bible.
It said "Husbands, love your wives". There was more to it but those 4 words were sufficient. If you take the attitude that your job is simply to be a good spouse and it is not your job to 'fix' your spouse, life is a lot easier.

...but pick one who will do the same. I was just lucky, you meet a smart girl with green eyes who loves college football you don't think, you don't question, you whack her over the head with a club and haul her back to your cave, game over.

Seriously, the same concept works in other areas of life. You know the folks who are miserable at work and are always bitching about the management or the policies or whatever. Notice that the people who enjoy work seem to do their own job well, take pride in doing it well and don't waste time worrying about things that are out of their direct control.

Funny thing you didn't know: Bobo came from Jill's habit of calling me her 'beau'. Lacking originality, I call her Bobo too. Confusing matters more is our daughter, who we call Boo, or Booboo.

This is a strange house, there is usually a lot of laughter and raised voices are incredibly rare but I am pretty sure that a normal person would find us ...odd.

It seem that camaraderie and a conscious decision too keep the family close and love you wife no matter what is the secret to a happy marriage right?