MJ is Offering FREE Mentoring! (Version 2)

[MJ DeMarco]

Several times a week I get an email requesting a personal, one-on-one mentorship. Most of these emails are short-- so short that only question asked is "Do you mentor?" .. no information, no background, nothing!

First, if this is your effort, finding a mentor will be the least of your worries. What kind of effort can I expect from you if I accepted you to be a mentee?

No thanks.

Second, the rules of finding a mentor apply to real life, money, and contribution. If you're seeking a mentor, be professional, detailed, and demonstrate your value/potential value to the mentor. When you approach your mentor with a entitled, GIVE ME, TAKER attitude, expect to be ignored and/or your offer declined.

Third, don't ask them for coffee. If I accepted every "lets meet for coffee" I'd be a professional coffee drinker, drinking 10 cups a day seven days a week. Successful folks aren't usually interested in sitting in Starbucks talking to strangers. Reserve the coffee meeting for AFTER you've established a mentor/mentee relationship.

Fourth, want to really impress a potential mentor?

1. Take initiative.
2. Do without permission
3. Demonstrate value
4. Be authentic

Just to give you an example...

If you emailed me this, I'd seriously consider your mentorship, even though I don't do one on ones.

Hey MJ, I loved your book! I seriously think I read it 12 times.

Anyhow, I've been studying copy-writing now for 3 years and think I've gotten pretty good at it. I noticed your Amazon description for The Millionaire Fastlane and thought I'd give it a few hours and try my hand at improving it (although it's pretty good now.) Here it is:

[YOUR MODIFIED VERSION OF THE COPY]

What do you think? Please let me know and feel free to use it if you think it is better. Also, I was wondering, do you do any mentoring? I'd love to help you in your next project in whatever you got going as I am eager to work and expand my experience.

Thanks!
Joe Mentee.​

Assuming the modified copy was an improvement, don't you think THAT would get my attention? Notice the approach. Flattering. Careful not to insult (the Amazon copy). Value provided with no expectation for return. Demonstration of willingness to work-- not TOLD, but DONE.

Or how about this email?

Sup MJ, I'm looking for a mentor to show me the ways of success, interested?
​

Oh man, where do I sign up?

Examine both emails and tell me... who appears entitled, self-involved, and driven by what he can get. And who is driven by what he can give? This same dichotomy frames the challenge we have with money, with this forum, and with entrepreneurship... who is driven to GIVE? And who is driven to TAKE?

And finally...

As I mentioned above, I don't do one-on-one mentorships. Anytime I'm asked, I tell the person this:

I try my best to mentor thousands at the forum. I suggest you join there and follow me. (It's FREE). I am literally there EVERY SINGLE DAY and I usually contribute 3-4 comments PER DAY. Follow my posts and you'll feel as if you're being mentored by me personally.​

Know how many people actually do this and FOLLOW THROUGH? I can't name ONE. NOT ONE. However, I can tell you some folks on this forum have figured it out-- I notice some of my followers read EVERY post of mine, even if they're short comments.

So with that said, want to be mentored by myself? Or @Vigilante or @Likwid24 or @Vick or @AllenCrawley @Andy Black or @IceCreamKid or @Kak or @biophase or @Eskil or any other of the rockstars on here?

Follow us and read our every posts.

Here's how (compliments of @Jamie T)

1) Follow your guy/gal.
2) Bookmark your newsfeed. ​

This has been a public service announcement.

Good luck,
MJ

 

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[Fastlane or Die]

Great post with examples!! Thank you!

Definitely appreciate all of the shared experience on this forum!

Just followed several people.

 

[SBS.95]

I'm a little embarrassed to say I didn't know that feature existed until @JamieT's post the other day.

But I've now had this bookmark set up and have been reading it pretty much every day. Pretty cool.

 

[Jamie T]

I'm a little embarrassed to say I didn't know that feature existed until @JamieT's post the other day.

But I've now had this bookmark set up and have been reading it pretty much every day. Pretty cool.

I didn't know there was a News Feed until about six months after I joined the forum. It was a good day.

Thanks @MJ DeMarco for making making a thread about this. Now I'll have to rewrite the email I was going to send you about getting some coffee..

 

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[MoneyDoc]

I guess I should delete my email...

Joking aside, I totally agree with the approach MJ laid out. That is exactly how I got my mentor. I provided something to him without asking for anything in return. I took initiative, I showed him his time won't be wasted with me.

So I guess, the effort you put into something, is what you'll get out of it. A 1 line email "can you show me how to make money", will get you a 1 word response "no".

 

[booboo]

Can anyone mentor me trough the process of following someone on tapatalk?

 

[Dwight Schrute]

If you're seeking a mentor, be professional, detailed, and demonstrate your value/potential value to the mentor. When you approach your mentor with a entitled, GIVE ME, TAKER attitude, expect to be ignored

Ha, I experienced that firsthand

MJ, do you remember the foolish inquiry I've sent you the other day?

Please forget about it.:embarrased:
I'm sorry for that.
And sober since then.

Thanks for everything

Rep+

 

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[booboo]

Can anyone mentor me trough the process of following someone on tapatalk?

Updating the app seemed to help .This is so much nicer.

 

[socaldude]

I would be willing to bet $10k that the majority of these email senders are: Young men.

Another reason why women entrepreneurs are sometimes more successful because they actually "get it".

We grow up in a very coddling social and education system where for the last 12 years you've been "told" how smart, awesome and successful you are. And yet you haven't earned jack squat and have no real world skills or knowledge. Not to mention you spent the last 20 years living with your parents, not having to worry about "bills" or the real world.

I love what the comedian Louis CK has to say about 20 year olds. Hilarious and true.

 

[Fox]

Excellent post. Thanks MJ

 

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[Kak]

I thought it was weird I got a bunch of followers at once! Now I get it.

And that Louis CK bit was amazing.

 

[Roli]

Thanks, I used the follow feature but was wondering why I wasn't getting notifications, now I know

 

[Imgal]

I would be willing to bet $10k that the majority of these email senders are: Young men.

Another reason why women entrepreneurs are sometimes more successful because they actually "get it".

We grow up in a very coddling social and education system where for the last 12 years you've been "told" how smart, awesome and successful you are. And yet you haven't earned jack squat and have no real world skills or knowledge. Not to mention you spent the last 20 years living with your parents, not having to worry about "bills" or the real world.

I love what the comedian Louis CK has to say about 20 year olds. Hilarious and true.

I love you for thinking this way about women entrepreneurs, but personally I have to admit that I let down the side for a long time. My family isn't the most outwardly supportive, and don't have the same drive to succeed independently, that I do, which has acted as somewhat of a driver, but also I think held me back a lot.... I suppose I've had a perception that when times get tough, no-one is really that interested anyway so is it really worth it? The moment I stopped looking at everything from a me angle and focused on the bigger issue of doing something to help others. That's when it all changed.

Love MJ's suggestion here. I've had some great mentors I've been privileged enough to have one-on-one contact with, but each and every one of them began with my stalking and absorbing everything I could find on them. It meant when I actually approached them I wasn't looking for them to hand me over some blueprint, but came from a point of real respect for what they did and being able to ask key, targeted and concise questions to fill in the gaps. People really respect that and I'm sure has ended up getting me a lot more help than if I'd just sent a long "Wow, I think you're amazing, could you give me all the answers" type email.

 

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[Roli]

I love you for thinking this way about women entrepreneurs, but personally I have to admit that I let down the side for a long time. My family isn't the most outwardly supportive, and don't have the same drive to succeed independently, that I do, which has acted as somewhat of a driver, but also I think held me back a lot.... I suppose I've had a perception that when times get tough, no-one is really that interested anyway so is it really worth it? The moment I stopped looking at everything from a me angle and focused on the bigger issue of doing something to help others. That's when it all changed.

Love MJ's suggestion here. I've had some great mentors I've been privileged enough to have one-on-one contact with, but each and every one of them began with my stalking and absorbing everything I could find on them. It meant when I actually approached them I wasn't looking for them to hand me over some blueprint, but came from a point of real respect for what they did and being able to ask key, targeted and concise questions to fill in the gaps. People really respect that and I'm sure has ended up getting me a lot more help than if I'd just sent a long "Wow, I think you're amazing, could you give me all the answers" type email.

Wow, I really relate to your post, especially the first paragraph about your family, I too have been trying to follow successful people online, but am too embarrassed to make an approach, I've made one and crashed and burned. I know one isn't enough but my embarrassment comes from my age, I'm 43 and most of these people I want to approach are younger than me and I just think I'll come across as some old loser.

Anyway it's nice to know there's a practical use for cyber stalking

 

[Imgal]

@Roli - I think a lot of people are probably in the same situation regarding how their family sees this entrepreneurial adventure of ours. It's always nice to have external reinforcement of what you're doing, but I have come to realise that it took me a hell of a long time to get the right entrepreneurial mindset and figure this game out. I've actually been pretty harsh in expecting it of others who aren't in the slightest bit interested in this path in life (which is fine if that is what you want from life - we all are different!)

I've also crashed and burned and sent some awful emails in my time so don't even let that bother you. I'd also feel pretty gutted if I didn't get a reply. The first shift was changing the way I emailed people (i.e. I actually stopped being lazy and was proactive in what I wrote and asked). The second though was how I framed it in my own mind. Obviously I would have loved to have got a response from everyone, but I knew that wasn't actually realistic so I framed what I was doing different. If I send an email now, then as MJ described in his post the first thing is I would look to add add some value to the person I was writing to. If I can't find something I will not allow myself to make up a half-hearted gesture. I just wait and usually something will become obvious. The second is to thank them and give them specific examples. I am grateful to these people and I want them to know why. It also makes me stand out from the rest. Finally I'll ask a question - one that I hope is pretty concise and targeted, but really let them know I expect nothing from them or even a reply. The truth is I get a really high success rate, but I don't go expecting it any more. My goal with this email is all about them. It's about trying to add value, whether it's through what I offer or just thanking them and reinforcing their awesomeness. Yes I'm writing it as a formula, but it truly does come from the heart that way and I think it shows.

It's not just something that works with mentoring. The moment I went from cold emailing potential clients for web design / marketing work from a "we offer this, this and this" to just sending them an email highlighting an issue on their site and giving them a solution with no pitch... well the response rate went through the roof!

 

[Andy Black]

I thought it was weird I got a bunch of followers at once! Now I get it.

And that Louis CK bit was amazing.

Ditto.

I have to show that clip to my stepson.


I recently spotted that not everyone I am following is showing up in my feed. Is there a max number of people we can follow?

Also, I've just noticed a few posts where someone has tagged me but I didn't get an alert. Does Xenforo have a max for alert types or something (and apologies if anyone's tagged me and I've not responded).

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I recently spotted that not everyone I am following is showing up in my feed. Is there a max number of people we can follow?

I'm not aware of any limitations.

 

[Eos]

Nice @MJ DeMarco.

To anyone doubting if MJ's advice works in the real world my current situation is living proof (for now it's sweet but I'm not resting on my laurels)

As per your and @tafy's advice, I'm now in the "startup community", hate the term but what else can you call it.
In a crazy turnaround of circumstances (almost certainly down to my mental outlook) I'm working directly for someone I aspire to be like: he's fully unplugged from the matrix and still young.
I'm learning a lot, getting paid to work on a few early stage companies, flexible working and meeting other CEOs and like-minded people to hopefully form a new squad of aspiring value creators.

Take-away lesson for people who don't believe MJ:

I am still working for him because I've not really ASKED for much, I just show up willing and EAGER to GIVE and LEARN.
Provide value to others with NO EXPECTATIONS that they are gonna guide you to becoming a MILLION TRILLIONAIRE.
But, if you hold on in there you might just go down a route where new doors open and you head in that direction more naturally than if you were to DIRECTLY ASK someone to give you all the secrets.

Anyway it's early days for me but I know that if anyone wants an 'entrepreneurial job' with good exposure this is the mindset you must go in with.

 

[AntEmpire]

Loved that Louis CK clip. I wish it didn't end!

 

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[tafy]

Cool man, what have you learned from working at a start-up?

 

[Eos]

@tafy

Prioritising and juggling several projects at once.
Time management unsupervised. I'm working alone for a fair amount of time so I am experiencing what is like to be alone grinding without a bunch of co-workers around.
Dealing with virtual teams and delegating to outsourcers.
Market knowledge of the markets we are in or planning to enter.
Competitor analysis.
Content Marketing.
Google analytics.
SEO.
Mobile UX.
Bitcoin.

But I'd say it's mainly about the day to day experience of being around people who want to do something!

How're things going w. you? Do you have a progress thread somewhere?

 

[happybhoy]

Haven't even received a single follow.

 

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[Iwokeup]

You know the worst part about those "mentor me!" posts/requests?

You wouldn't know what to DO with the knowledge anyway because you haven't gone through the learning PROCESS that would allow proper application of the information.

Ask me how I know this...Hahaha

 

[LynnD5000]

Works for me - Thanks

 

[TheNextTrump]

This has been a public service announcement.

Good luck,
MJ

HAHAH YES IT HAS ! Thanks

 

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[Andy Black]

More people to follow are listed here.


Going back to what MJ's trying to get across in his original post...

Here's what happens when someone from team PRODUCER (give give give) is approached by someone from team CONSUMER (take take take):

 

[jpmartin]

Good luck,

MJ, thanks for this post... I guess I missed out on a lot of great post, because of the volume here on TFF. Taking up JamieT's hat tip.

 

[WAMBST]

More people to follow are listed here.


Going back to what MJ's trying to get across in his original post...

Here's what happens when someone from team PRODUCER (give give give) is approached by someone from team CONSUMER (take take take):

Whow... I love it, but he seems to be a little bit nervous...

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Whow... I love it, but he seems to be a little bit nervous...

Sounds about right. Type 5's have deep core issues with fear and anxiety, especially when their competence is tested.

 

[MattR82]

A great reminder, thanks SinisterLex.

Every single day that I read this forum my frame of mind is shifting and improving.