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Notable! Manufacturing a FTE (F*ck This Event!)

Discussion in 'Mindset, Motivation, Choices' started by UncommonWay, May 19, 2017.

  1. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    One of the biggest questions I had while reading UNSCRIPTED and TMF was, "How do I get motivated if I haven't had a 'Fuck This Event'?" Do I really have to hit rock bottom before I can start climbing upward?

    Hell if I know, but maybe I have an answer for those who haven't experienced a genuine Fuck This Event.

    First, though, let me tell you about the Tony Robbins "Dickens Process". If you've ever read one of his books (especially Awaken the Giant Within) or been to one of his events (e.g. Unleash the Power Within), you may have heard of this or experienced it. Basically, you're manufacturing an FTE through a scripted process.

    The Dickens Process is based on Charles Dickens' story of the life-changing transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. In the story, a selfish, miserly Scrooge is forced by three ghosts to fully experience the impact of his actions in the past, the present, and the future. Horrified by what he sees, including the loss of his fiance, the death of Tiny Tim, and his own unsung death, he is immediately and permanently transformed into a loving, generous man.

    The Dickens Process takes you through the same experience by asking questions that force you to examine the impact of your own limiting beliefs and actions in the past, present, and predictable future. The end result is that you experience an epiphany that motivates you long-term. Rather than go through the whole process, I'll just link to it here:

    The Dickens Process

    Based on the Dickens Process, I believe that you can manufacture your own Fuck This Event. You don't have to wait for one event where things suck so bad that you finally say, "Fuck this." The trick is that whatever you do, you have to feel it deeply, viscerally, in your bones. Emotion is the catalyst for action. And as Fastlaners, control over our emotions is a necessity.

    So, how do you manufacture your own FTE, without having one superlatively crappy life event? Group a bunch of lowercase "fuck this" events or emotions into one amalgamated uppercase "Fuck This" list (FTL). Let their combined emotional weight take the place of one single FTE.

    A few days ago, I was feeling like crap because my fledgling business was not going as planned. Basically, I wasn't getting an immediate response from my first trial client, and was hinging my emotions on one event instead of a process. I've given up in the past when I've felt like that, and I don't want to do that this time. So, rather than go through the Dickens Process, I made a FTL that I can read through each day, that will serve as my surrogate FTE.

    What does an FTL look like? Well, here's mine...excuse the excessive French, that's just how it came out:

    The reasons why I must become a Fastlane entrepreneur:
    • Giving up on my dreams for years - Fuck this shit
    • Worrying about losing my job that I hate - Fuck this shit
    • Not being able to buy the things we want and need without worrying about money - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling so tired at the end of the day that I just want to lay down - Fuck this shit
    • Knowing that I'm being a bad example to my kids - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling like I'm falling into the same "failed entrepreneur" trap my dad did - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling like a loser because each job is worse than the last - Fuck this shit
    • Watching our lifestyle decline each month - Fuck this shit
    • Knowing that we're just one bad month from being broke - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling like a phony - Fuck this shit
    • Being ashamed of the car that I drive because I can't afford better - Fuck this shit
    • Making constant excuses for why things are okay the way they are...even though I know they're not - Fuck this shit
    • Spending time inside a cubicle on a perfect spring day - Fuck this shit
    • Wearing shoes with holes in the bottoms because I can't afford new shoes - Fuck this shit
    • Having to accept my father-in-law's handouts and feeling like a loser - Fuck this shit
    • Relying on the kindness of others to make our lives work - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling hopeless - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling less free as I get older, instead of more free - Fuck this shit
    • Looking back at my dreams and hating myself for not achieving them - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling more and more desperate as I try each new business venture - Fuck this shit
    • Looking at our draining bank accounts and having to push down the feelings of panic - Fuck this shit
    • Holding off on buying things because we can't afford them - Fuck this shit
    • Driving two 18+ year old cars because we can't afford anything newer - Fuck this shit
    • Doing repairs on the house and cars myself because we can't afford to pay for it - Fuck this shit
    • Relying on the government for money and a job - Fuck this shit
    • Dressing like a bum because I can't buy nicer clothes - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling bad about the money I spend on myself because it takes away from my family - Fuck this shit
    • Being embarassed that I'm trying yet another way to make money after failing so many times - Fuck this shit
    • Knowing that we'll never be able to retire if nothing changes - Fuck this shit
    • Being afraid of the future - Fuck this shit
    • Being ashamed of myself for not living up to my potential - Fuck this shit
    • Looking at the older people that I work with, and knowing that's what I'll look like if this continues - Fuck this shit
    • Asking permission to go to the bathroom, take a break, leave early, come in late, or take a day off - Fuck this shit
    • Working with people I don't like, and pretending to like them even though they're not very nice - Fuck this shit
    • Skipping the things we used to love doing because we can't afford them (like the local theme park) - Fuck this shit
    • My wife having to work at a crappy job just to make ends meet - Fuck this shit
    I hope this helps somebody here. Your mileage may vary. This seems to be working for me, because I'm not willing to let things get any worse before I work to make them better. Hell, maybe the day I wrote this was my Fuck This Event...doesn't matter, because I've said the magic words:

    "Fuck This Shit, I won't take it any longer."

    What does your Fuck This List look like?
     
  2. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Tremendous post. Marked NOTABLE because everyone needs to read it.
     
  3. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Thanks for the encouragement, MJ. I figured other people were probably saying to themselves, "Well, I haven't had an FTE yet, so I guess I have to wait until I do," just like I was, so this might help give them the same kick in the pants that I needed.
     
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  4. SindbadtheSailor
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    SindbadtheSailor Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    The most important thing that I learned after reading this post is that you need to have clearly identified reasons of your goal.
     
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  5. InspireHD
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    This is awesome. It's exactly what I've been going through for the past couple months, but never really put a name to it. I don't have one singular event that thrust me into action, but in the back of my mind I have a list of things that just make me think, "fuck this." Then, after a couple hours, maybe talking to a coworker to blow off some steam, or having my 2 or 3 days off, the pain subsides, my paycheck posts to my bank account, and I go back to waking up groggy at 5:15am saying, "fuck this, I don't want to wake up right now, I need one more day off."

    I feel so trapped by my benefits, salary, and comfort. I have a stable, secure job that pays probably in the top 10% of my field for what I do. It allows me to "retire" early with a pension. I contribute to a Roth IRA and a 457 Plan. I'm doing all the right things to retire in the year 2038 at the age of 54 and that scares the piss out of me. Literally, writing that out is giving me anxiety right now.

    ...

    Wow. That was a surreal, "fuck this."

    I wish I could post a list of things that are on my "fuck this list," but I feel it's too personal and too confidential given the position I'm in. I'm too afraid of it somehow coming back to bite me in the ass. And, you know what? That is another "fuck this," that I have to be so concerned about opening up and speaking about those things. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to bite my tongue.

    This has been a moment of super-introspection. I have to get up and go clear my mind.
     
  6. LuckyPup
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    Sometimes we arrive at a place where we realize we've led a "Fuck This Life."
     
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  7. Millenial_Kid5K1
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    This is much like how it played out for me.

    Being called in for the weekend with a day's notice - Fuck this shit.

    Working between 6 walls with no windows - Fuck this shit.

    Being talked down to when I show any autonomy - Fuck this shit.

    Having my boss automatically assume I'm wrong unless he already agrees with me - Fuck this shit.

    Being the last to leave in the evenings because my boss glorifies late hours an my co-worker has diarrhea of the mouth - Fuck this shit.

    Finally getting home feeling exhausted every day - Fuck this shit.

    Having to cut down on time with my girlfriend so I can eat healthy and exercise 3 times a week - Fuck this shit.

    Having my savings at the mercy of the stock market - Fuck this shit.

    Being told by friends and family that I've reached the apex of what I should aspire to in life - Fuck. This. Shit.
     
  8. LauraMorenoCa
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    LauraMorenoCa Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Oh yeah! I feel you!
     
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  9. RazorCut
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    In my experience the main issue for most of us is we are reactive not proactive. In as much as we don’t move forward until pushed to do so.

    It’s why people stay in dead end jobs for low pay for so long (often until retirement). There is the fear of the unknown of course but most of all it’s because it is easier to just accept the status quo and roll with the punches.

    It is only when push comes to shove, when the momentum becomes too great to ignore, that something happens. It’s when we are MADE to react. And even then it is often a reluctant reaction.

    It’s why a FTE is so important even if it is an artificial one. Love your post. Hopefully it will help keep all of us motivated and moving forward.
     
  10. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I've begun noticing, since I read UNSCRIPTED (currently on my second read-through) that the people I work with are sooooo SCRIPTED.

    I passed a guy in the hallway while walking and reading on my lunch break, and he asked what I was reading. Showed him MJ's book, and told him this was written by a guy who made millions and retired in his early 30s, and now he doesn't have to work at all. His response: "Good work if you can get it. By the way, if you want to stop by my desk, I've got some good books on management you might want to read."

    Ummm, thanks, but no. I don't want to be a manager. I want to be an owner, of my own business and of my own life.

    Looking forward to leaving a review when UNSCRIPTED is released on Amazon tomorrow.
     
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  11. Kung Fu Steve
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    Kung Fu Steve Gold Contributor Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    It's an epidemic of Tony lovers around here! :rofl::rofl:
     
  12. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I don't get it...what's the context?

    Edit: D'oh, my original post and Tony's Dickens Process. I TLDR'ed my own post :)
     
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  13. Kung Fu Steve
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    Kung Fu Steve Gold Contributor Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    I'm just teasing MJ as per usual.

    I'm pretty familiar with Tony's work :)
     
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  14. Limitless4Life
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    Interesting post because it's clear that 'fuck this' mentality is necessary for successful Entrepreneurship as MJ points out in Unscripted. Without it, the process is 0 since it's the foundation of the TUNEF framework. I just graduated college last week and, I haven't had one big FTE yet, but having a FTL could be an efficient way to look at it.
    • Fuck getting a 3.5+ GPA which I worked pretty hard for only to realize it means jack shit
    • Fuck the college for taking $150k of my parents money and saying "thank you very much, good luck with your life! See ya never! Oh, by the way will you donate any more money to us even though you just graduated last week? We need it for the flowers and making the campus look pretty for other suckers."
    • Fuck trying to get brainwashed by libtard teachers infested with the progressive virus (for any of you 'Red-Pillers' [kinda sick of that term] Shadow Men by Dr. Anthony Napoleon is a MUST read IMHO)
    Moving On.

    The concept of the FTE makes me think it wouldn't be a crazy idea to (voluntarily) move out, live by myself and work a low-paying/shitty job. Extreme, maybe. But, apparently many wantrepreneurs claim they will use their 'high-paying' cushy job while living at home to fund their ventures, but because of empathy gap, they end up being too damn comfortable (or consuming) and put their entrepreneurial dreams on the back-burner or forget them completely.

    btw: empathy gap is a cognitive bias in which people underestimate the influences of visceral drives on their own attitudes, preferences, and behaviors.

    So, what I'm trying to get at here is maybe it's a good idea to voluntarily put myself in a shitty position temporarily (Stoic, I know) so I will have the real fire needed to go after entrepreneurship. Because right now, I'm pretty damn comfortable (but unfulfilled) living with my upper-middle class parents. I am still working on my book that I put on the forum a few months ago - which is my first real crank at the entrepreneurship gum-ball machine. Between doing that, I'm on the second reading of Unscripted, and I intend to internalize everything. I will etch the beliefs, biases and bullshit into my brain so when the true time comes I have a FTE, I'm somewhat prepared mentally. Maybe this is a form of procrastination/action-faking and maybe I should just 'take action' doing something, but like I said, I am working on my book still. And, already, my RAS is seeing things I haven't before, which is both frightening and exciting.

    I'm not sure if this post makes sense or it's just me rambling, but I hope somebody can take something from this!

    Thank you @UncommonWay for providing me some insight and an excuse to post my recent thoughts on the forum. Thank you MJ for everything always.
     
  15. UncommonWay
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    Outstanding post! I wish I had some years back and was in your position. With only yourself to worry about, you could live in your car and shower at the gym if you "failed" at your foray into the Fastlane. One of the worst, stupidest things I ever did was to move back in with my parents and live with them until I got married. You're at that crossroads now...don't waste years of your life by playing it safe. I am your cautionary tale. :(

    Now, with a wife and three kids, and as the sole breadwinner, I cannot take the same risks you can take...at least not without affecting people other than myself. I urge you to take advantage of your position while you can, and do whatever it takes to make it happen while you're young and free.
     
  16. sparechange
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    Sitting on the bus watching a Lamborghini drive by while I can't even afford a tire for it, fuck this shit
     
  17. GuitarManDan
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    As someone who has been reading FTE's and thinking "damn, I've definitely had fuck this moments but not a true fuck this event", this is awesome. Thank you for sharing!

    Sharing my own fuck this shit moments in the last few months that currently have me researching a new city to move to and getting the hell out of my job to hopefully help someone else on here:

    • Commuting into NYC every morning and seeing a wave of depressed people who look like they're one bad day away from ending it all - fuck this shit
    • Having my boss regularly turn down sick days because it's "not a good day" - fuck this shit
    • Barely being able to enjoy weekends anymore because I know the underlying problem still exists and dreading Sundays because it means I have to go through the gauntlet for one more week - fuck this shit
    • Temporarily developing bad stress/sleeping issues because I realized if I had a bad night, I couldn't take a sick day or work from home - fuck this shit
    • Listening to everyone tell me how "lucky" I am to work for this investment bank, even though I feel like a failure because I'm absolutely miserable - fuck this shit
    • Getting angry emails and calls when I took one day off during busy season to go to the funeral of my little cousin - fuck this shit
    • Realizing I've saved up enough money to live without a job for a few years and still choosing to wake up and be miserable in this toxic environment - fuck this shit
    What I'm doing to fix this: identified a need from personal experience and outside feedback (techniques provided by Unscripted), researched the competition and read through countless online reviews to identify where my competitors fall short, looked into common pricing strategies for this industry, and reached out to other individuals who own similar businesses in other parts of the US who I wouldn't be competing with who have been extremely helpful.

    I've also been looking into moving elsewhere in the US because I need a fresh start and this constantly stressed out / miserable culture in NYC isn't enjoyable anymore.

    I'm really grateful I found this community and MJ's books because before this, I had this feeling since I graduated college that something didn't feel right, but I couldn't put my finger on it or articulate it. Common wisdom from other people told me everyday how I was doing well and had a great job, but I still wasn't happy. Real-life examples of what's possible on here is incredibly motivating. I have a long, long way to go, but I'm going to keep pushing myself until I find success.
     
  18. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    You, sir, are in a prime position to walk into work tomorrow and tell your boss, "Fuck you, I quit." You've got a few years' living expenses saved up? Screw it, man, pull the trigger. Move to a town with low cost of living, into a small apartment with a mattress and a desk, and start making it happen. If you posted next week that you did that, you would be a Fastlane hero to me (and probably everyone else here).

    By the way, I am much better at giving advice than following my own :)
     
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  19. Millenial_Kid5K1
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    Rep++ for creating an epic thread. I love reading all the different scripted events that cause people to finally say "fuck this."
     
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  20. UncommonWay
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    Holy cow, thank you very much! Glad I could add some value to this awesome forum.
     
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  21. GuitarManDan
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    Thanks man, I really am. I'm 26 and I have no girlfriend at the moment or kids. The only debt I have in my name is about 4 more months of rent for my apartment near NYC.

    Ever since I read TMF and Unscripted, I've had a few days (today was one of them) where I've legitimately considered walking in and giving my two weeks notice. What I love about the culture on this forum is how to productively channel anger/frustration. Instead of just being pissed at work, I started googling best US cities to move to and started jotting down notes about what I'd consider important in my decision (nice weather, decent-sized population, cost of living, etc).

    The only thing holding me back is myself. In terms of giving value back, I have an older brother who had a serious mental breakdown due to anxiety at work and had to quit his job. He's fully onboard with the Scripted lifestyle and keeps talking about how grateful he is now to have a job again. Only way he's been able to get through this new job is with some powerful anti-anxiety pills and it breaks me up to see him like this. I need to lead by example and show him there's another way out of this nonsense.
     
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  22. biophase
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    biophase Legendary Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Mine was posted in my success story thread.

    GOLD - SUCCESS STORY: Biophase

    "In 2001, my friends and I took a mountain biking trip to Crested Butte, CO. We camped for one week at Lake Irwin. No electric, cell phones, running water, etc... The town had a speed limit of 15mph. I remember cruising into town and slamming the brakes like WTF? However, at the end of 7 days, 15mph actually felt fast in town.

    There was a point during the trip that I looked at my watch and calculated that it was 5:30pm in Chicago. At the time I was sitting on a rock on top of mountain at about 11,000ft having a PBJ sandwich with my buddies just chilling and looking at the clouds. If I were at work this week, I would be running down the street trying to catch my train at this time. What a contrast in speeds. It was at this moment that I knew something was wrong with my direction.

    Coming back to work the next week I had lost all motivation. I had a great week in Crested Butte and we were all talking about going back the next year. I remember thinking, just another 51 weeks? I work 50 weeks a year to enjoy 2 weeks. Thinking deeper I also realized that I only enjoy Friday and Saturday out of the 7 days of the week. Doing the math, something wasn't right. Why do we enjoy only 2/7 of our lives?

    With this realization, my next thought was how do I enjoy life more. First answer, move to Crested Butte, CO. But homes there cost twice what mine does and salaries are 1/3."
     
  23. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Sounds like you have a really good "Why" to give you fuel to succeed. I am looking forward to reading your progress thread when you start your journey.
     
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  24. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    $823
    I read your story over the weekend. So much good stuff in there. Even better were your other progress threads after your FTE. Cool stuff, man.
     

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