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Notable! Manufacturing a FTE (F*ck This Event!)

Discussion in 'Mindset, Motivation, Choices' started by UncommonWay, May 19, 2017 at 9:09 AM.

  1. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    One of the biggest questions I had while reading UNSCRIPTED and TMF was, "How do I get motivated if I haven't had a 'Fuck This Event'?" Do I really have to hit rock bottom before I can start climbing upward?

    Hell if I know, but maybe I have an answer for those who haven't experienced a genuine Fuck This Event.

    First, though, let me tell you about the Tony Robbins "Dickens Process". If you've ever read one of his books (especially Awaken the Giant Within) or been to one of his events (e.g. Unleash the Power Within), you may have heard of this or experienced it. Basically, you're manufacturing an FTE through a scripted process.

    The Dickens Process is based on Charles Dickens' story of the life-changing transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. In the story, a selfish, miserly Scrooge is forced by three ghosts to fully experience the impact of his actions in the past, the present, and the future. Horrified by what he sees, including the loss of his fiance, the death of Tiny Tim, and his own unsung death, he is immediately and permanently transformed into a loving, generous man.

    The Dickens Process takes you through the same experience by asking questions that force you to examine the impact of your own limiting beliefs and actions in the past, present, and predictable future. The end result is that you experience an epiphany that motivates you long-term. Rather than go through the whole process, I'll just link to it here:

    The Dickens Process

    Based on the Dickens Process, I believe that you can manufacture your own Fuck This Event. You don't have to wait for one event where things suck so bad that you finally say, "Fuck this." The trick is that whatever you do, you have to feel it deeply, viscerally, in your bones. Emotion is the catalyst for action. And as Fastlaners, control over our emotions is a necessity.

    So, how do you manufacture your own FTE, without having one superlatively crappy life event? Group a bunch of lowercase "fuck this" events or emotions into one amalgamated uppercase "Fuck This" list (FTL). Let their combined emotional weight take the place of one single FTE.

    A few days ago, I was feeling like crap because my fledgling business was not going as planned. Basically, I wasn't getting an immediate response from my first trial client, and was hinging my emotions on one event instead of a process. I've given up in the past when I've felt like that, and I don't want to do that this time. So, rather than go through the Dickens Process, I made a FTL that I can read through each day, that will serve as my surrogate FTE.

    What does an FTL look like? Well, here's mine...excuse the excessive French, that's just how it came out:

    The reasons why I must become a Fastlane entrepreneur:
    • Giving up on my dreams for years - Fuck this shit
    • Worrying about losing my job that I hate - Fuck this shit
    • Not being able to buy the things we want and need without worrying about money - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling so tired at the end of the day that I just want to lay down - Fuck this shit
    • Knowing that I'm being a bad example to my kids - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling like I'm falling into the same "failed entrepreneur" trap my dad did - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling like a loser because each job is worse than the last - Fuck this shit
    • Watching our lifestyle decline each month - Fuck this shit
    • Knowing that we're just one bad month from being broke - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling like a phony - Fuck this shit
    • Being ashamed of the car that I drive because I can't afford better - Fuck this shit
    • Making constant excuses for why things are okay the way they are...even though I know they're not - Fuck this shit
    • Spending time inside a cubicle on a perfect spring day - Fuck this shit
    • Wearing shoes with holes in the bottoms because I can't afford new shoes - Fuck this shit
    • Having to accept my father-in-law's handouts and feeling like a loser - Fuck this shit
    • Relying on the kindness of others to make our lives work - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling hopeless - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling less free as I get older, instead of more free - Fuck this shit
    • Looking back at my dreams and hating myself for not achieving them - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling more and more desperate as I try each new business venture - Fuck this shit
    • Looking at our draining bank accounts and having to push down the feelings of panic - Fuck this shit
    • Holding off on buying things because we can't afford them - Fuck this shit
    • Driving two 18+ year old cars because we can't afford anything newer - Fuck this shit
    • Doing repairs on the house and cars myself because we can't afford to pay for it - Fuck this shit
    • Relying on the government for money and a job - Fuck this shit
    • Dressing like a bum because I can't buy nicer clothes - Fuck this shit
    • Feeling bad about the money I spend on myself because it takes away from my family - Fuck this shit
    • Being embarassed that I'm trying yet another way to make money after failing so many times - Fuck this shit
    • Knowing that we'll never be able to retire if nothing changes - Fuck this shit
    • Being afraid of the future - Fuck this shit
    • Being ashamed of myself for not living up to my potential - Fuck this shit
    • Looking at the older people that I work with, and knowing that's what I'll look like if this continues - Fuck this shit
    • Asking permission to go to the bathroom, take a break, leave early, come in late, or take a day off - Fuck this shit
    • Working with people I don't like, and pretending to like them even though they're not very nice - Fuck this shit
    • Skipping the things we used to love doing because we can't afford them (like the local theme park) - Fuck this shit
    • My wife having to work at a crappy job just to make ends meet - Fuck this shit
    I hope this helps somebody here. Your mileage may vary. This seems to be working for me, because I'm not willing to let things get any worse before I work to make them better. Hell, maybe the day I wrote this was my Fuck This Event...doesn't matter, because I've said the magic words:

    "Fuck This Shit, I won't take it any longer."

    What does your Fuck This List look like?
     
    JWelch, Imgal, spyt and 20 others like this.
  2. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Tremendous post. Marked NOTABLE because everyone needs to read it.
     
  3. UncommonWay
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    UncommonWay Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Thanks for the encouragement, MJ. I figured other people were probably saying to themselves, "Well, I haven't had an FTE yet, so I guess I have to wait until I do," just like I was, so this might help give them the same kick in the pants that I needed.
     
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  4. SindbadtheSailor
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    SindbadtheSailor Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane

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    The most important thing that I learned after reading this post is that you need to have clearly identified reasons of your goal.
     
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  5. InspireHD
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    InspireHD Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    This is awesome. It's exactly what I've been going through for the past couple months, but never really put a name to it. I don't have one singular event that thrust me into action, but in the back of my mind I have a list of things that just make me think, "fuck this." Then, after a couple hours, maybe talking to a coworker to blow off some steam, or having my 2 or 3 days off, the pain subsides, my paycheck posts to my bank account, and I go back to waking up groggy at 5:15am saying, "fuck this, I don't want to wake up right now, I need one more day off."

    I feel so trapped by my benefits, salary, and comfort. I have a stable, secure job that pays probably in the top 10% of my field for what I do. It allows me to "retire" early with a pension. I contribute to a Roth IRA and a 457 Plan. I'm doing all the right things to retire in the year 2038 at the age of 54 and that scares the piss out of me. Literally, writing that out is giving me anxiety right now.

    ...

    Wow. That was a surreal, "fuck this."

    I wish I could post a list of things that are on my "fuck this list," but I feel it's too personal and too confidential given the position I'm in. I'm too afraid of it somehow coming back to bite me in the ass. And, you know what? That is another "fuck this," that I have to be so concerned about opening up and speaking about those things. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to bite my tongue.

    This has been a moment of super-introspection. I have to get up and go clear my mind.
     
  6. LuckyPup
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    LuckyPup Digital Wantrepreneur Read The Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Sometimes we arrive at a place where we realize we've led a "Fuck This Life."
     
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  7. Millenial_Kid5K1
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    This is much like how it played out for me.

    Being called in for the weekend with a day's notice - Fuck this shit.

    Working between 6 walls with no windows - Fuck this shit.

    Being talked down to when I show any autonomy - Fuck this shit.

    Having my boss automatically assume I'm wrong unless he already agrees with me - Fuck this shit.

    Being the last to leave in the evenings because my boss glorifies late hours an my co-worker has diarrhea of the mouth - Fuck this shit.

    Finally getting home feeling exhausted every day - Fuck this shit.

    Having to cut down on time with my girlfriend so I can eat healthy and exercise 3 times a week - Fuck this shit.

    Having my savings at the mercy of the stock market - Fuck this shit.

    Being told by friends and family that I've reached the apex of what I should aspire to in life - Fuck. This. Shit.
     
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  8. LauraMorenoCa
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    LauraMorenoCa Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Oh yeah! I feel you!
     
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  9. RazorCut
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    RazorCut Student of Life Read The Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    In my experience the main issue for most of us is we are reactive not proactive. In as much as we don’t move forward until pushed to do so.

    It’s why people stay in dead end jobs for low pay for so long (often until retirement). There is the fear of the unknown of course but most of all it’s because it is easier to just accept the status quo and roll with the punches.

    It is only when push comes to shove, when the momentum becomes too great to ignore, that something happens. It’s when we are MADE to react. And even then it is often a reluctant reaction.

    It’s why a FTE is so important even if it is an artificial one. Love your post. Hopefully it will help keep all of us motivated and moving forward.
     
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