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Make sentences punchier

Marketing, social media, advertising

Andy Black

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A client suggested this for ad copy:
  • We offer everything your home office needs under one roof.
  • We offer a free next day contactless delivery throughout Ireland.

I suggested they change "We offer" to "Get":
  • Get everything your home office needs under one roof.
  • Get free next day contactless delivery throughout Ireland.

… or just remove “We offer” completely:
  • Everything your home office needs under one roof.
  • Free next day contactless delivery throughout Ireland.


Not only are these shorter and/or call-to-actions, but they also don't start with "We".

It's not about you!
 
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Andy Black

Help people. Get paid. Help more people.
Staff member
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
370%
May 20, 2014
18,566
68,699
Ireland
This isn’t just a copywriting tip.
 

Iammelissamoore

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This isn’t just a copywriting tip.
You GENUINELY shed light with these golden nuggets. It IS ingrained in you. When we speak about value, you just bring it.

Thanks a million for the insight you share - and the many others on TFF - you all make this community a wholesome experience!
 
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