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(Issue Resolved)

Anything related to matters of the mind

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
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18
(Issue resolved)
I had a lengthy talk with my parents and it went well. I'm staying in college as long as it benefits my goals. I think they see my perspective now which makes me happy.
Honestly, I don't think my household is toxic at all, it's just my parents put a lot of pressure on me, and my anxiety condition makes it a lot worse (panic attacks etc). I love and care about my family a lot, even if my parents are hard on me sometimes. I know they just want the best for me.
Thanks to everyone for your advice. Going to be posting more updates about my company on my progress thread soon.
 
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Last edited:

loop101

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I have an issue. My name is Aidan and I'm an 18 year old college student. Let me explain my situation from the top.

I live in a somewhat toxic household, with my dad being almost bipolar in nature. One day he's nice, and the next he blows up at me. This is partly due to the fact that he's a professor at the college I attend (meaning I get heavy tuition discounts), and my grades aren't exactly adequate. Plus I am taking classes I absolutely hate and I believe are a waste of my time. The college I attend is local, meaning I live at home, and I don't want to take on any debt at all. I feel absolutely miserable and anxious over this thing I don't even care about.

It comes down to this. I want to build this company the fastlane way, this amazing dream I have, and I want to drop out of college. I'm assuming I would have to move out of the house if my parents are not supportive of this choice. Problem is, where do I start with this? How do I possibly get the money?

There are really a lot more details I could give here but I could not think of any off the top of my head. I desperately want out of this situation. I want to work on myself, mentally and physically.

Thanks,
Aidan

If you live with your parents while you start your Fastlane business(es), who exactly is funding your business ventures - you, or them? If your parents never started their own businesses, don't expect them to start yours.

I don't have Fastlane advice, but my advice is to decide if you want to live with your parents or not. If so, finish school, and get a free college education.

If not, and you don't have any real skills, join the military. During the 4 years of active duty, do 2 years of college, then get out and use the GI Bill for the last 2 years of a Bachelors degree, and the next 2 years for a Masters. If you get a Security Clearance in the Military (and that should be you're goal), by the time you get your Masters, you could apply for very high-paying jobs. In 8 years you'd have a 6 year degree, be earning $200k, and be 26 years old. Then you could fund whatever projects you want.
 

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
If you live with your parents while you start your Fastlane business(es), who exactly is funding your business ventures - you, or them? If your parents never started their own businesses, don't expect them to start yours.

I don't have Fastlane advice, but my advice is to decide if you want to live with your parents or not. If so, finish school, and get a free college education.

If not, and you don't have any real skills, join the military. During the 4 years of active duty, do 2 years of college, then get out and use the GI Bill for the last 2 years of a Bachelors degree, and the next 2 years for a Masters. If you get a Security Clearance in the Military (and that should be you're goal), by the time you get your Masters, you could apply for very high-paying jobs. In 8 years you'd have a 6 year degree, be earning $200k, and be 26 years old. Then you could fund whatever projects you want.
Planning on using my own funds to bootstrap this. My main issue is that I don't feel like this can wait, I want to make this happen early. I appreciate the advice, though I'm not sure if I'd want to go with those routes.
 

Roli

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I have an issue. My name is Aidan and I'm an 18 year old college student. Let me explain my situation from the top.

I live in a somewhat toxic household, with my dad being almost bipolar in nature. One day he's nice, and the next he blows up at me. This is partly due to the fact that he's a professor at the college I attend (meaning I get heavy tuition discounts), and my grades aren't exactly adequate. Plus I am taking classes I absolutely hate and I believe are a waste of my time. The college I attend is local, meaning I live at home, and I don't want to take on any debt at all. I feel absolutely miserable and anxious over this thing I don't even care about.

It comes down to this. I want to build this company the fastlane way, this amazing dream I have, and I want to drop out of college. I'm assuming I would have to move out of the house if my parents are not supportive of this choice. Problem is, where do I start with this? How do I possibly get the money?

There are really a lot more details I could give here but I could not think of any off the top of my head. I desperately want out of this situation. I want to work on myself, mentally and physically.

Thanks,
Aidan
Have you tried talking to him?

You're 18 now and you are still thinking like a little kid, talk to him like an adult and he'll respond like one.

Say that you are having these mixed emotions and you're not happy with your course. Tell him of your business plans and say you want to take that route.

At the end of the day, you'll need a job.

Remember, he cares for you and wants the best, try and come up with the best together.
 
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heavy_industry

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Apr 17, 2022
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Leave.
No amount of talking or discussion will change your parents behavior. No one has the right to be abusive towards you.

Regarding collage, it's great to do it if:
  • You learn useful skills (e.g. STEM field)
  • You learn about things you're interested in / find meaningful
  • You make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun

If none of the above is happening at your school, drop out because you are wasting your time and money. Apply to a school which meets at least 1 of these criteria. I highly recommend that you do go to collage.

So start earning and saving money immediately in order to become independent from your parents. It doesn't have to be from a fastlane business at first. There are plenty of freelancing things you can do earn enough - read the forum for relevant threads.


And always remember that it's not your father that is abusive towards you.
It's you.

Each and every day that passes by without you working at full capacity towards your financial freedom is your conscious decision to stay in the current situation.

Your 20s will be the most beautiful years of your life. It's going to be your adventure. So take full responsibility for your life, earn your freedom and conquer your destiny.
 

Robdavis

Bronze Contributor
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Nov 16, 2022
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I have an issue. My name is Aidan and I'm an 18 year old college student. Let me explain my situation from the top.

I live in a somewhat toxic household, with my dad being almost bipolar in nature. One day he's nice, and the next he blows up at me. This is partly due to the fact that he's a professor at the college I attend (meaning I get heavy tuition discounts), and my grades aren't exactly adequate. Plus I am taking classes I absolutely hate and I believe are a waste of my time. The college I attend is local, meaning I live at home, and I don't want to take on any debt at all. I feel absolutely miserable and anxious over this thing I don't even care about.

It comes down to this. I want to build this company the fastlane way, this amazing dream I have, and I want to drop out of college. I'm assuming I would have to move out of the house if my parents are not supportive of this choice. Problem is, where do I start with this? How do I possibly get the money?

There are really a lot more details I could give here but I could not think of any off the top of my head. I desperately want out of this situation. I want to work on myself, mentally and physically.

Thanks,
Aidan
Read this thread. This should help to give you some ideas:
 

Practic

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Nov 29, 2022
286
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I have an issue. My name is Aidan and I'm an 18 year old college student. Let me explain my situation from the top.

I live in a somewhat toxic household, with my dad being almost bipolar in nature. One day he's nice, and the next he blows up at me. This is partly due to the fact that he's a professor at the college I attend (meaning I get heavy tuition discounts), and my grades aren't exactly adequate. Plus I am taking classes I absolutely hate and I believe are a waste of my time. The college I attend is local, meaning I live at home, and I don't want to take on any debt at all. I feel absolutely miserable and anxious over this thing I don't even care about.

It comes down to this. I want to build this company the fastlane way, this amazing dream I have, and I want to drop out of college. I'm assuming I would have to move out of the house if my parents are not supportive of this choice. Problem is, where do I start with this? How do I possibly get the money?

There are really a lot more details I could give here but I could not think of any off the top of my head. I desperately want out of this situation. I want to work on myself, mentally and physically.

Thanks,
Aidan

How is it possible to contact you? May be I can help?
 
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Martin Z

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I have an issue. My name is Aidan and I'm an 18 year old college student. Let me explain my situation from the top.

I live in a somewhat toxic household, with my dad being almost bipolar in nature. One day he's nice, and the next he blows up at me. This is partly due to the fact that he's a professor at the college I attend (meaning I get heavy tuition discounts), and my grades aren't exactly adequate. Plus I am taking classes I absolutely hate and I believe are a waste of my time. The college I attend is local, meaning I live at home, and I don't want to take on any debt at all. I feel absolutely miserable and anxious over this thing I don't even care about.

It comes down to this. I want to build this company the fastlane way, this amazing dream I have, and I want to drop out of college. I'm assuming I would have to move out of the house if my parents are not supportive of this choice. Problem is, where do I start with this? How do I possibly get the money?

There are really a lot more details I could give here but I could not think of any off the top of my head. I desperately want out of this situation. I want to work on myself, mentally and physically.

Thanks,
Aidan
Leave that environment. It's only going to stop/distract you.
 

piano

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Sep 21, 2022
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Quite a touchy subject.
There is a great chance that you will just refuse and refuse and refuse and refuse at what we say because of excuses.
One of the most important things for reaching a goal (in your case getting rich and moving out without worries?) is to take action.
No matter how small.
It doesn't matter if you just pick up dog shit for 10$. Action is action and it'll get you going with the right mindset and necessessity/desire.
Two threads which you should read or take a quick look at:

(similar to your situation) GOLD! - MINDSET - Crawling thru a sewer pipe filled with sh*t: Why it matters.

(what I did to take action)

good luck
 

Johnny boy

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What would a brave, intelligent, wise man do immediately if he woke up in your position tomorrow.

He would look objectively at his life as if he was looking at it from a 3rd person view. He would list out his goals, make a vague plan, and it would likely involve immediately telling dad about his plans to leave school.

He would explain that he has made the decision already, and would give a couple of options and would say

"I have decided to leave school. I am willing to pay rent if you are willing to allow me to stay here while I pursue my entrepreneurial endeavors. If not, I will be moving out. Would you consider a rental agreement or should I pack my bags?"

Part of being a man is making clear decisions, communicating clearly, speaking directly, and offering amicable solutions that take responsibility.

If you say "dad, I'm thinkin about leavin school, it's super gay and I hate it," then you are a kid still.

In business, you have to be much more organized, self sufficient, procedural, and disciplined than you are now, BUT..... you will care about it 10000 times more. I cared 0.01% about school, so I thought it would be impossible for me to be disciplined in life. I was wrong, I just didn't give a shit about school, go figure.

Assume dad will say "wtf pack your shit you're out of here TONIGHT" and plan accordingly. If not, you will at least be prepared. Don't worry about money. If you need to you can make survival level money easily. Don't worry about that.

Before having that conversation I would spend a bit of time focusing on what you want to do and probably get started in a small way before saying you're done with school. Get a little traction then deliver the news.
 
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Bekit

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I have an issue. My name is Aidan and I'm an 18 year old college student. Let me explain my situation from the top.

I live in a somewhat toxic household, with my dad being almost bipolar in nature. One day he's nice, and the next he blows up at me. This is partly due to the fact that he's a professor at the college I attend (meaning I get heavy tuition discounts), and my grades aren't exactly adequate. Plus I am taking classes I absolutely hate and I believe are a waste of my time. The college I attend is local, meaning I live at home, and I don't want to take on any debt at all. I feel absolutely miserable and anxious over this thing I don't even care about.

It comes down to this. I want to build this company the fastlane way, this amazing dream I have, and I want to drop out of college. I'm assuming I would have to move out of the house if my parents are not supportive of this choice. Problem is, where do I start with this? How do I possibly get the money?

There are really a lot more details I could give here but I could not think of any off the top of my head. I desperately want out of this situation. I want to work on myself, mentally and physically.

Thanks,
Aidan
I read through the rest of your posts to try to understand where you are coming from. (For what it's worth, I think if all your existing posts were in a single thread, it would make it easier for forum members to help you and see the context.)

Here are some observations I have.

If your household is toxic, the best way to deal with that is to get out. I disagree with the advice to talk with him. That assumes that he's mentally stable. Living at home, it sounds like you're operating in a fog all the time. You'll see much more clearly once you move out. Case in point: You ask a very basic question, "How do I possibly get the money?" Obviously, you'd need a job. It's a series of trade-offs. (A) Live at home, get a degree, and suffer through your dad's behavior, versus (B) live on your own, work a job, and be free from that toxicity. If you decide that (B) is the better option, it's not like you're going to free up all the time you're currently dedicating to college. You're just going to replace a job in that slot. However, if you decide that it's worth it to you to go that route, make sure you make a viable plan for your exit strategy. What I'd do is add up the cost of getting your own place (rent, food, phone, utilities, car), look at the income you could make from a job, and then if it looks like it all adds up, apply to some jobs that are high-paying enough for you to be sustainable and not stretched too thin to do anything for your business.

You said your grades "aren't exactly adequate." It's hard to tell if this reflects on a lack of work ethic on your part (which would be good to develop and would contribute to your success as an entrepreneur), or if it reflects on the toxic environment you're in. If your home environment keeps you in a headspace that's full of stress and drama because of other people's mental health (or the lack thereof), that could be affecting your grades. But if it's your work ethic, then I'd say you should use school as a training ground to develop that work ethic while remaining debt-free.

Based on your execution posts, it looks like you have taken a fair amount of action in creating a 3D prototype. If you're able to take action when it comes to your business, but not when it comes to school, I'd ask why. It can be dangerous if you're only taking action on the thing that's new and shiny and full of interest to you right then. What happens when your interest wanes? You're onto the next thing. If "novelty" is the factor that keeps you "in the zone," you would actually do yourself a huge favor by buckling down and studying for your classes and developing the discipline to finish something that's not fun or exciting anymore.

Only you know where these things stand and how you want to choose your course of action. Try going camping for a day or two to clear your head and get some space to think. Figure out your plan and then execute it boldly. Don't do anything stupid. For instance, don't move out before you have a job lined up. That would just leave you couch-surfing and incredibly unstable, which will deeply disrupt your entrepreneurial progress. Don't make decisions that are irreversible unless you have fully faced and embraced the inevitable fallout that will follow. If you need to, adopt the "gray rock" strategy to survive at home in the meantime while you're getting your ducks in a row.

You've got this!
 

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
I read through the rest of your posts to try to understand where you are coming from. (For what it's worth, I think if all your existing posts were in a single thread, it would make it easier for forum members to help you and see the context.)

Here are some observations I have.

If your household is toxic, the best way to deal with that is to get out. I disagree with the advice to talk with him. That assumes that he's mentally stable. Living at home, it sounds like you're operating in a fog all the time. You'll see much more clearly once you move out. Case in point: You ask a very basic question, "How do I possibly get the money?" Obviously, you'd need a job. It's a series of trade-offs. (A) Live at home, get a degree, and suffer through your dad's behavior, versus (B) live on your own, work a job, and be free from that toxicity. If you decide that (B) is the better option, it's not like you're going to free up all the time you're currently dedicating to college. You're just going to replace a job in that slot. However, if you decide that it's worth it to you to go that route, make sure you make a viable plan for your exit strategy. What I'd do is add up the cost of getting your own place (rent, food, phone, utilities, car), look at the income you could make from a job, and then if it looks like it all adds up, apply to some jobs that are high-paying enough for you to be sustainable and not stretched too thin to do anything for your business.

You said your grades "aren't exactly adequate." It's hard to tell if this reflects on a lack of work ethic on your part (which would be good to develop and would contribute to your success as an entrepreneur), or if it reflects on the toxic environment you're in. If your home environment keeps you in a headspace that's full of stress and drama because of other people's mental health (or the lack thereof), that could be affecting your grades. But if it's your work ethic, then I'd say you should use school as a training ground to develop that work ethic while remaining debt-free.

Based on your execution posts, it looks like you have taken a fair amount of action in creating a 3D prototype. If you're able to take action when it comes to your business, but not when it comes to school, I'd ask why. It can be dangerous if you're only taking action on the thing that's new and shiny and full of interest to you right then. What happens when your interest wanes? You're onto the next thing. If "novelty" is the factor that keeps you "in the zone," you would actually do yourself a huge favor by buckling down and studying for your classes and developing the discipline to finish something that's not fun or exciting anymore.

Only you know where these things stand and how you want to choose your course of action. Try going camping for a day or two to clear your head and get some space to think. Figure out your plan and then execute it boldly. Don't do anything stupid. For instance, don't move out before you have a job lined up. That would just leave you couch-surfing and incredibly unstable, which will deeply disrupt your entrepreneurial progress. Don't make decisions that are irreversible unless you have fully faced and embraced the inevitable fallout that will follow. If you need to, adopt the "gray rock" strategy to survive at home in the meantime while you're getting your ducks in a row.

You've got this!
I read through the rest of your posts to try to understand where you are coming from. (For what it's worth, I think if all your existing posts were in a single thread, it would make it easier for forum members to help you and see the context.)

Here are some observations I have.

If your household is toxic, the best way to deal with that is to get out. I disagree with the advice to talk with him. That assumes that he's mentally stable. Living at home, it sounds like you're operating in a fog all the time. You'll see much more clearly once you move out. Case in point: You ask a very basic question, "How do I possibly get the money?" Obviously, you'd need a job. It's a series of trade-offs. (A) Live at home, get a degree, and suffer through your dad's behavior, versus (B) live on your own, work a job, and be free from that toxicity. If you decide that (B) is the better option, it's not like you're going to free up all the time you're currently dedicating to college. You're just going to replace a job in that slot. However, if you decide that it's worth it to you to go that route, make sure you make a viable plan for your exit strategy. What I'd do is add up the cost of getting your own place (rent, food, phone, utilities, car), look at the income you could make from a job, and then if it looks like it all adds up, apply to some jobs that are high-paying enough for you to be sustainable and not stretched too thin to do anything for your business.

You said your grades "aren't exactly adequate." It's hard to tell if this reflects on a lack of work ethic on your part (which would be good to develop and would contribute to your success as an entrepreneur), or if it reflects on the toxic environment you're in. If your home environment keeps you in a headspace that's full of stress and drama because of other people's mental health (or the lack thereof), that could be affecting your grades. But if it's your work ethic, then I'd say you should use school as a training ground to develop that work ethic while remaining debt-free.

Based on your execution posts, it looks like you have taken a fair amount of action in creating a 3D prototype. If you're able to take action when it comes to your business, but not when it comes to school, I'd ask why. It can be dangerous if you're only taking action on the thing that's new and shiny and full of interest to you right then. What happens when your interest wanes? You're onto the next thing. If "novelty" is the factor that keeps you "in the zone," you would actually do yourself a huge favor by buckling down and studying for your classes and developing the discipline to finish something that's not fun or exciting anymore.

Only you know where these things stand and how you want to choose your course of action. Try going camping for a day or two to clear your head and get some space to think. Figure out your plan and then execute it boldly. Don't do anything stupid. For instance, don't move out before you have a job lined up. That would just leave you couch-surfing and incredibly unstable, which will deeply disrupt your entrepreneurial progress. Don't make decisions that are irreversible unless you have fully faced and embraced the inevitable fallout that will follow. If you need to, adopt the "gray rock" strategy to survive at home in the meantime while you're getting your ducks in a row.

You've got this!
I really like this post. Thank you for some viable options as to what actions I could possibly take next. Rent around these parts is expensive but I could probably find a roommate if I really needed to. As for the grades, it's more of a stress related instance. If I didn't have so much weight on my shoulders I probably wouldn't be losing sleep over this. I am slowly piecing together a plan, but it's going to take some time.
 

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
What would a brave, intelligent, wise man do immediately if he woke up in your position tomorrow.

He would look objectively at his life as if he was looking at it from a 3rd person view. He would list out his goals, make a vague plan, and it would likely involve immediately telling dad about his plans to leave school.

He would explain that he has made the decision already, and would give a couple of options and would say

"I have decided to leave school. I am willing to pay rent if you are willing to allow me to stay here while I pursue my entrepreneurial endeavors. If not, I will be moving out. Would you consider a rental agreement or should I pack my bags?"

Part of being a man is making clear decisions, communicating clearly, speaking directly, and offering amicable solutions that take responsibility.

If you say "dad, I'm thinkin about leavin school, it's super gay and I hate it," then you are a kid still.

In business, you have to be much more organized, self sufficient, procedural, and disciplined than you are now, BUT..... you will care about it 10000 times more. I cared 0.01% about school, so I thought it would be impossible for me to be disciplined in life. I was wrong, I just didn't give a shit about school, go figure.

Assume dad will say "wtf pack your shit you're out of here TONIGHT" and plan accordingly. If not, you will at least be prepared. Don't worry about money. If you need to you can make survival level money easily. Don't worry about that.

Before having that conversation I would spend a bit of time focusing on what you want to do and probably get started in a small way before saying you're done with school. Get a little traction then deliver the news.
Thanks for the reply. Been thinking about taking this route. I'll probably need some time to work up the courage to be able to do this so we'll see what happens.
 
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Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
Quite a touchy subject.
There is a great chance that you will just refuse and refuse and refuse and refuse at what we say because of excuses.
One of the most important things for reaching a goal (in your case getting rich and moving out without worries?) is to take action.
No matter how small.
It doesn't matter if you just pick up dog shit for 10$. Action is action and it'll get you going with the right mindset and necessessity/desire.
Two threads which you should read or take a quick look at:

(similar to your situation) GOLD! - MINDSET - Crawling thru a sewer pipe filled with sh*t: Why it matters.

(what I did to take action)

good luck
I was thinking of maybe "taking action" by making/editing videos of self-improvement related topics, since fitness is a priority of mine and I have a lot of knowledge on that subject.
 

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
Leave.
No amount of talking or discussion will change your parents behavior. No one has the right to be abusive towards you.

Regarding collage, it's great to do it if:
  • You learn useful skills (e.g. STEM field)
  • You learn about things you're interested in / find meaningful
  • You make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun

If none of the above is happening at your school, drop out because you are wasting your time and money. Apply to a school which meets at least 1 of these criteria. I highly recommend that you do go to collage.

So start earning and saving money immediately in order to become independent from your parents. It doesn't have to be from a fastlane business at first. There are plenty of freelancing things you can do earn enough - read the forum for relevant threads.


And always remember that it's not your father that is abusive towards you.
It's you.

Each and every day that passes by without you working at full capacity towards your financial freedom is your conscious decision to stay in the current situation.

Your 20s will be the most beautiful years of your life. It's going to be your adventure. So take full responsibility for your life, earn your freedom and conquer your destiny.
You're right. It's my choice weather or not to be stuck in this shit.
 
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Johnny boy

Legendary Contributor
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EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Speedway Pass
May 9, 2017
2,252
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Washington State
Thanks for the reply. Been thinking about taking this route. I'll probably need some time to work up the courage to be able to do this so we'll see what happens.
the greatest way to have courage is to think less. I have never done anything courageously, but I have done everything that needed to be done by not thinking any more about it and just pulling the trigger.

Any nervousness or adrenaline/cortisol you feel...remember this (one of the most important things I've ever learned in my life): it's your body getting ready to compete, you should be happy it's there. It's time to do something important and you're excited and there's nothing wrong with it.
 

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
Alright, so I have typed up a lengthy letter to my parents about my reasoning, I'm going to help them cover the mortgage, and I want to fix my relationship with my dad. I'm gonna leave it in an obvious place for them to find tomorrow. I hope this goes well, and thank you to everyone for the advice. Also to those that mentioned it, I do currently have a well paying job that I work at on weekends.
 

Aidan04

Contributor
Apr 27, 2022
25
30
18
(Issue resolved)
I had a lengthy talk with my parents and it went well. I'm staying in college as long as it benefits my goals. I think they see my perspective now which makes me happy.
Honestly, I don't think my household is toxic at all, it's just my parents put a lot of pressure on me, and my anxiety condition makes it a lot worse (panic attacks etc). I love and care about my family a lot, even if my parents are hard on me sometimes. I know they just want the best for me.
Thanks to everyone for your advice. Going to be posting more updates about my company on my progress thread soon.
 
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Last edited:

Roli

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(Issue resolved)
I had a lengthy talk with my parents and it went well. I'm staying in college as long as it benefits my goals. I think they see my perspective now which makes me happy.
Honestly, I don't think my household is toxic at all, it's just my parents put a lot of pressure on me, and my anxiety condition makes it a lot worse (panic attacks etc). I love and care about my family a lot, even if my parents are hard on me sometimes. I know they just want the best for me.
Thanks to everyone for your advice. Going to be posting more updates about my company on my progress thread soon.

Really glad to hear that man, very mature route to take. When you're 25 you'll look back on this through a very different lens.

Good luck with business and college and keep us posted.
 

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