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Inferior or Superior to others?

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SteveO

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I posted another thread about not liking to be told what to do.

Don't tell me what to do

In there, I made references to feelings of inferiority.

For me, it was too easy to look at others around me an feel that they were all better than me. Why is this the case? Why do any of us look at others with comparison? Why is it so easy to look at a homeless person or mentally challenged and feel that we are so much better?

I don't know the answer to this.

I do know that it should be dropped from our perception though.

There was a time in my life where I worried about the impression that would be implied to others. How I dress, cut my hair, shave my face, car I drive, and the list goes on.

I went to a meeting one day with high powered real estate agents, lenders, and attorneys to talk about a deal "I" was working on. They were dressed in suits. I walked in with shorts and t-shirt. One of them made a comment about wishing they could be dressed like me. But at that time, I did not give a shit. I only cared about the deal at hand.

Another "eye-opener" for me.

I believe that fear is the biggest driver for the way we look at others. Eliminating fear from our existence will lead to a much more comfortable life.
 

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cmor16

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There was a time in my life where I worried about the impression that would be implied to others. How I dress, cut my hair, shave my face, car I drive, and the list goes on.

Many of our actions as humans come down to 1 thing: Looking good (or not looking bad) in the eyes of others. It can be a serious impediment and has a tremendous impact on how we see the world and how the world sees us. It's nearly impossible to completely eliminate this behaviour but once you recognize it and can catch yourself in the act, it can be controlled. When you do, it opens up a perception of the world you never knew was there.

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I went to a meeting one day with high powered real estate agents, lenders, and attorneys to talk about a deal "I" was working on. They were dressed in suits. I walked in with shorts and t-shirt. One of them made a comment about wishing they could be dressed like me. But at that time, I did not give a shit. I only cared about the deal at hand.

I was in a meeting with yet another Ivy League MBA investment banker on Sunday, and, after talking about their potential investment in our company he proceeds to tell us all the stuff we need to do to take the business to the next level. Half of it was shit we've already tried that seems like a great idea, but turns out the customer doesn't want. The other half is shit like "you need to open your own plant", as though all that entails is leasing a building and filling it with equipment.

I've been through so many of these, in rooms full of people that are so impressive on paper, only to realize they're no smarter than I am.

My sense of inferiority to others was cured by meeting others.
 

cmor16

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I've been through so many of these, in rooms full of people that are so impressive on paper, only to realize they're no smarter than I am.

My sense of inferiority to others was cured by meeting others.

Bottom line is, they are just people, just like you and I. What they wear, what their title is or what they drive is meaningless.

Be the you that you want to be, not the you that you think others want you to be.

Sent from my Galaxy S7 using Tapatalk
 

SteveO

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Bottom line is, they are just people, just like you and I. What they wear, what their title is or what they drive is meaningless.

Be the you that you want to be, not the you that you think others want you to be.

Sent from my Galaxy S7 using Tapatalk
And don't feel uptight about it. So simple...
 

MidwestLandlord

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@SteveO droppin' some knowledge today! Good stuff, thanks for sharing.

Caution "feelz" ahead! (I always try to cover up vulnerability with humor haha)

I won't lie, I've struggled with caring too much about what other's think of me. I STILL struggle with this.

Feeling inferior and all that, yep...that's me.

Especially when it comes to my looks.

On the flip side, I usually feel superior to most people when it comes to intelligence and such. Which isn't a healthy mindset either (ego).

I think that with both feeling inferior AND feeling superior, they are both related to fear. Either fear that others are better in some way, or fear that I'm not as good as I think I am.

I think the answer is to "put yourself out there"

Feel unworthy of romantic affection? Go talk to 100 women.
Feel unworthy of being a millionaire? Go make money until you are a millionaire.
Feel arrogant? Go learn a difficult skill.

I find the more I put myself out there, the less shits I give about what other people think.
 

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Bottom line is, they are just people, just like you and I. What they wear, what their title is or what they drive is meaningless.

Be the you that you want to be, not the you that you think others want you to be.

Sent from my Galaxy S7 using Tapatalk
I discovered that after talking to some business people at a meetup who's been playing the game for 20 years and they got blown away after I released some basic information on the potential of e-commerce. They were...how to describe it....momentarily shocked....:eek::eek::eek:

That experience was exhilarating as well as embarassing....for me and them. For me, I was just a newbie and they were considered veterans....
@SteveO
I find the more I put myself out there, the less shits I give about what other people think.

True that. And I take everything with a pinch of salt, but I do stay open for more ideas and insights which I never thought about or tried yet.

It's healthier that way. I live longer!
 

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In his book Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz points out the superiority and inferiority are two sides of the same coin.

A healthy replacement to feelings of inferiority/superiority is the realization and acknowledgement that everyone is unique in their own way.

For example, we all have different fingerprints. If one were in a paradigm of inferiority/superiority they would compare fingerprints and make judgments like "my fingerprint has more swirls so I'm superior" rather than accepting the uniqueness of their fingerprints.

But what about skills that can be objectively measured? Stephen Curry is a far superior basketball player than I ever was or will be.

That's true, but that doesn't make him superior (and thus me inferior) as an overall human being.

An interesting exercise Dr. Maxwell Maltz recommended is to think about one person you look up to and greatly admire. Now imagine if the entire human population was exactly like that man or woman. How would the world look like?

EG. Elon Musk - A world of great technological advances. Colonies on Mars. Everyone working 12-16 hours a day. Not many Oscar worthy movies, art, Michelin 3-star restaurants, comedians, etc.

Now repeat the exercise imagining if the entire human population were exactly like you.

I'm far from perfect, but combining the above exercises with meditation has helped me be much less judgmental.

Also, the times my feelings of inferiority/superiority were most severe were during the periods of time where I knew (consciously or subconsciously) that I wasn't working on building something of value and striving to realize my full potential.
 
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MidwestLandlord

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Here's another thing that helps...

In MJ's book, he talks about people not believing that the fastlane exists.

He says "Your perception does not change my reality"

(I think that's verbatim anyway)

So other's perceptions don't really matter. It's my reality that matters.

Easier said than done believing it of course.
 

MTF

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@SteveO, how do you develop the humility to treat everyone equally then? How do you treat equally a lazy person who lives on social security and, say, an entrepreneur providing value to his customers or a morbidly obese person (not for medical reasons, simply because of a lack of self-discipline) and a fit person? How do you avoid judging people on their merit? I'm curious what you think.
 

SteveO

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@SteveO, how do you develop the humility to treat everyone equally then? How do you treat equally a lazy person who lives on social security and, say, an entrepreneur providing value to his customers or a morbidly obese person (not for medical reasons, simply because of a lack of self-discipline) and a fit person? How do you avoid judging people on their merit? I'm curious what you think.
Nothing more than perception. What benefit do we get from this judgement? We decide what is good and bad through belief systems. How do we know we are right?

The trick for us is to realize that our judgements are not necessary. Blame can always be applied to all parties if we choose.
 

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G-Man

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Nothing more than perception. What benefit do we get from this judgement? We decide what is good and bad through belief systems. How do we know we are right?

The trick for us is to realize that our judgements are not necessary.

Can't decide whether I agree with you or not. I feel like acknowledging observable reality (I really don't think it's all perception) and not judging others aren't mutually exclusive.

For example: I can readily acknowledge person A is demonstrably superior to me at XYZ. I can also acknowledge person B is inferior to at XYZ. That doesn't mean that I as a whole person am superior or inferior to either of them.

I think a lot of it is a product of self-awareness too. The most genuinely morally superior people I know are also some of the most non-judgmental, and I think it's because they tend to be very aware of their own shortcomings, not because they don't see shortcomings in others.
 

grindmode

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Different strokes for different folks...

I used to be so jealous after graduating high school with this guy that was a complete idiot but the super popular football player whose parents were by no means wealthy but let him have stupid ridiculous parties at home all throughout high school... Had women from every high school in the area bowing down to him and after graduation I moved away to California for awhile and like a slap in the face of my insecurity the day I moved back to my hometown to start college I am in the gym parking lot in my Honda Civic SI which was super clean but then a 8-9 year old car worth a few of grand when I hear what sounds like a street bike screaming down the street then all the sudden BOOM... this dude pulls up in a yellow Lambo with some crazy gorgeous chick.. Well, I didn't work out that day lol. I knew his parents didn't have money somehow this caveman IQ meathead is driving a lambo around 4 years out of high school... I was thinking of every excuse and truly pissed off that this guy simply had succeed or what appeared to be... While that was a huge ego blow.

Fast forward around 2 years later... I ordered carry out over the phone from this dirty but so tasty Mexican restaurant... Walked in to pick up my food to take back home while some guy at this empty lousy strip mall restaurant is sitting at the bar alone saying something to me... IT WAS THE SAME GUY, this time I didn't even recognize him. Teeth rotting like a true meth champ while obviously drunk out of no where telling me how he was basically facing prison time for some type of tax fraud involved with a real estate business is about the most I heard as I walked out to my old civic thinking...Damn, I was caught up in jealousy over so smoke and mirrors..

Just be you and rock sweatpants with flip flops in a plain white t shirt... that's one of my reason's, WHY? I want to be self made and never answer to anyone.

If you need female attention get on a dating app and cherry pick what you like and not giving a damn about what people think or having no one to tell you what to do will attract women and others once it shows in your confidence....

Go take a hour to walk around Wal-Mart and just "soak in the vibe" then you'll realize... "Damn, it's all in my head..." :)
 

cmor16

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There are 2 sides to every story, so to speak; What you see with your eyes (fact) and what your brain interprets (fiction).

What I see: a man driving a Lamborghini (fact).
What my brain tells me: That man is rich (fiction).

Even if the man is in fact rich, it's still just a judgement that was manufactured by my brain based on my beliefs.

Sent from my Galaxy S7 using Tapatalk
 

SteveO

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Can't decide whether I agree with you or not. I feel like acknowledging observable reality (I really don't think it's all perception) and not judging others aren't mutually exclusive.
Of course you are assuming that your observable reality is the same as other people's. My opinion is that our perceptions are all very different.
 

thinkandgrowrich

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The end result of life is the same for everybody.

No matter how rich, poor, beautiful, sexy, or strong you are.

You're headed to the same place everybody else is.

I know not everybody here is religious, but I'm going to make a religious reference.

Solomon, known as the richest and wisest man in the history of mankind, said this, "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Death is the single greatest motivator, as well as a tool to humble oneself.
 

SteveO

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Can't decide whether I agree with you or not. I feel like acknowledging observable reality (I really don't think it's all perception) and not judging others aren't mutually exclusive.

For example: I can readily acknowledge person A is demonstrably superior to me at XYZ. I can also acknowledge person B is inferior to at XYZ. That doesn't mean that I as a whole person am superior or inferior to either of them.

I think a lot of it is a product of self-awareness too. The most genuinely morally superior people I know are also some of the most non-judgmental, and I think it's because they tend to be very aware of their own shortcomings, not because they don't see shortcomings in others.

Ok, back to the computer and not answering from my phone.

Disagreement is not a problem. I know that the way I see the world is MUCH different than most people. Is that a judgement? :)

Seriously though, I don't have all the answers and will not pretend to. But I do feel that judging others and comparing yourself to them will lead to feelings of better or worse. I just don't see the value in that.

Of course, that doesn't mean that we can't leverage processes or ideas off other people.
 

GMSI7D

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The end result of life is the same for everybody.

No matter how rich, poor, beautiful, sexy, or strong you are.

You're headed to the same place everybody else is.

I know not everybody here is religious, but I'm going to make a religious reference.

Solomon, known as the richest and wisest man in the history of mankind, said this, "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Death is the single greatest motivator, as well as a tool to humble oneself.

death is the only equalizer on earth. good one.

life is unfair. some people will never go anywhere while others have all they want

but at the end, even lucky guys can't get away with their luck . this is the ultimate moral justice


@SteveO, how do you develop the humility to treat everyone equally then? How do you treat equally a lazy person who lives on social security and, say, an entrepreneur providing value to his customers or a morbidly obese person (not for medical reasons, simply because of a lack of self-discipline) and a fit person? How do you avoid judging people on their merit? I'm curious what you think.

good one.

thank you
 

SteveO

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death is the only equalizer on earth. good one.

life is unfair. some people will never go anywhere while others have all they want

but at the end, even lucky guys can't get away with their luck . this is the ultimate moral justice
It seems that the people looking for justice are living their lives in turmoil.
 

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GMSI7D

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It seems that the people looking for justice are living their lives in turmoil.


i don't know about you american people, but France, Russia and countless countries are based on Justice

french revolution 1789 based on justice

russia revolution 1917 based on justice

american people fighting in europe in 1945 based on justice

socialist countries based on justice

democrats in america based on justice

and so on with millions of examples

so i can't really understand your post because it is outside my understanding

 

SteveO

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i don't know about you american people, but France, Russia and countless countries are based on Justice

french revolution 1789 based on justice

russia revolution 1917 based on justice

american people fighting in europe in 1945 based on justice

socialist countries based on justice

democrats in america based on justice

and so on with millions of examples

so i can't really understand your post because it is outside my understanding
The world is in turmoil. Does not mean that I have to be also. This has certainly moved beyond the context of the original post though.
 

Mac

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Since I started working around entrepreneurs, I've realized that everyone is equal. There's a lot of very successful entrepreneurs that aren't smarter than you or me... or the next guy. Maybe there's janitors out there that are smarter. I don't even think Albert Einstein or Bill Gates (or insert "genius") is smarter than anyone else.

They just didn't care about making mistakes. Little iterations here and there led to discoveries. They didn't just get born one day and they're a genius. They were actively working on different things. That's why it's important to just start executing.

Society likes to make us think that these guys are geniuses, etc and outliers in society... but there's nothing that they knew/know that you can't learn. Maybe off topic, but something I've realized.
 

frankieboy

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It's funny because I had moved to England from Spain without know a word of English and little money in my pocket. I had worked my way up from a job to now where I earn a fulltime income online from home.

I think because of my poor background, I was very hungry for success and didn't care what people thought of me or the way I spoke English or anything.

Whatever I learnt, if beneficial I would go and do it. Even if I got things wrong a lot of the times, I would always push forward.

Basically, if I can do it, anyone can. You just have to have belief in yourself. Don't let anything or anyone try stop you. Most important of all... don't stop yourself.
 

thinkandgrowrich

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It seems that the people looking for justice are living their lives in turmoil.
I agree.

Life is unfair and the people looking for justice are going to live very frustrating lives lol.

But that's where death comes in.

No matter how rich or poor you are, you are going to die. Your riches will soon slip away and all your hard work, at the end of the day, means nothing. And as far as legacy goes, you are most likely to be forgotten in a 100 years.

It's like that one tale of Alexander the Great. When he died he wanted the path to his graveyard covered in riches and gold and his hands to dangle out of his coffins, all of this done was to make a point; that even with all his successful conquests and acquiring of riches, at the end of the day, it meant nothing.

"Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence."

That's why I believe religion or having some sort of spiritual foundation to your ways of thinking and belief system is necessary. It makes life more enriching and meaningful.
 

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No matter how rich or poor you are, you are going to die. Your riches will soon slip away and all your hard work, at the end of the day, means nothing. And as far as legacy goes, you are most likely to be forgotten in a 100 years.
Not necessarily, it depends how big a mark you leave on the world. For instance Isaac Newton, Ernest Rutherford and Marie Curie haven't been forgotten yet and likely won't have been forgotten for another few hundred years, at least.

Riches perhaps, there's no point having money when you're dead, but if recognition is what you're after, then it's possible to have that for a long time after you've gone. Admittedly you'll never know about it, but it's all about the journey, right?
 

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I posted another thread about not liking to be told what to do.

Don't tell me what to do

In there, I made references to feelings of inferiority.

For me, it was too easy to look at others around me an feel that they were all better than me. Why is this the case? Why do any of us look at others with comparison? Why is it so easy to look at a homeless person or mentally challenged and feel that we are so much better?

I don't know the answer to this.

I do know that it should be dropped from our perception though.

There was a time in my life where I worried about the impression that would be implied to others. How I dress, cut my hair, shave my face, car I drive, and the list goes on.

I went to a meeting one day with high powered real estate agents, lenders, and attorneys to talk about a deal "I" was working on. They were dressed in suits. I walked in with shorts and t-shirt. One of them made a comment about wishing they could be dressed like me. But at that time, I did not give a shit. I only cared about the deal at hand.

Another "eye-opener" for me.

I believe that fear is the biggest driver for the way we look at others. Eliminating fear from our existence will lead to a much more comfortable life.

"Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men." So said Miyamoto Musashi.

@SteveO in this thread, you pointed out that the people that you know demonstrate success with their actions, not their words. I agree.
You went on here:

Lots of people come here and tell us what they are tired of and what they are ready for. The truth is that there is a lot of discomfort and difficulty in the fastlane as well. That is not actually true unless you want it to be. It is all in your perception. But the challenges of working a job don't even COME CLOSE to the challenges of building a business.

Most will start and then say "f*ck this shit...."

Read the part about MJ's challenges of getting started.

I like to think of improving in my life as a series of competitions against myself. Each day, I strive to build a superior version of myself, a version of myself that makes the me of yesterday seem inferior by comparison.

My inferiority or superiority - in comparison to myself - depends on the actions I take and the decisions I make. I hold in my mind an image of myself, an ideal that I seek to achieve, and my actions in life guide me toward ideal. This ideal is, by definition, superior to the me of today. Ultimately, the question of inferiority and superiority is a subjective one, because it depends upon what we all hold as "good" and "bad," or "beautiful" and "ugly." We can surely agree that being beautiful is superior to being ugly, and being "bad" is inferior to being "good," but if we don't have the same definitions of "good, bad, beautiful and ugly" (they could, after all, be exact opposites in our minds) then we can't get past that. The conversation, then, is a plane on a runway of subjectivity.

Clearly, we must do as we must in all scenarios that entail deep philosophical introspection and highly nuanced intellectual discourse:

We must ask Batman.


Ah, see? This clears everything up.

Bruce Wayne's words apply to us all: It is not who we are underneath (our avatars, our screen names, our "masks"); it's what we DO that defines us. Inferiority or superiority depends on this alone.
 

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Up at 3AM and I am grappling with this very same thing. The entrepreneurial journey is bringing all kinds of stuff up...

My seriousness and ego drive me to accomplish things, but I find that it could cripple my relationships and growth in other areas.

I am trying to learn how to take my work seriously, and not to take myself too seriously.

How do you all reconcile this duality? Is it even a duality?

An expert stops growing when he or she stops considering the opinions of others.

However, to move forward in my journey, I feel like I have to ignore everyone anyway.
 

SteveO

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Up at 3AM and I am grappling with this very same thing. The entrepreneurial journey is bringing all kinds of stuff up...

My seriousness and ego drive me to accomplish things, but I find that it could cripple my relationships and growth in other areas.

I am trying to learn how to take my work seriously, and not to take myself too seriously.

How do you all reconcile this duality? Is it even a duality?

An expert stops growing when he or she stops considering the opinions of others.

However, to move forward in my journey, I feel like I have to ignore everyone anyway.
All kinds of stuff going on here. When you say work, I am assuming that you mean toward your business. What are you currently working on? How far along are you?

I have a different opinion on life and what we view than most people. Listening to our emotions and what we present to ourselves is important. Considering other opinions may be helpful but hearing yourself is key.

Evaluating what you are presented with is a reflection of the life you are creating. Looking at it objectively without blame to anyone will tell you a lot. You should not ignore others but that does not mean you need to act on what they say. Relax and listen to your intuition. Emotions from your interactions will lead you to automatic responses that may not take you in the direction you want to go.
 

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