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I suck. (Can you help someone out of a rut?)

daivey

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April 6, 2014, I joined these forums. I wasn't much back then... and I don't think I'm much now.

Here's my story for you young-guns joining these forums.

I was always pushed into academics. This is the way. High school teachers, parents, aunts/uncles: "go to school" "become doctor, lawyer, accountant" etc. If you don't go to university, you will be a failure at life.
During high school I did alright for the most part. I never studied too hard, never really applied my self. I scored about average.
When it came time to apply to universities, I didn't get into the programs I wanted too. I did get into a few, but, didn't get those esteemed "science" programs that I was destined to go into.

So, I decided I would take a leap year to boost up my grades. I took a semester at a different high school, got my grades up across the board and that year got into all the programs I wanted too (all science stuff). I was even given a few "scholarship" options.. but, unfortunately, my family not knowing anything about how the school system works here in Canada, pushed me to "follow my passion". No one talked 'sense into me'... sure, I mean, ultimately it's my fault. I was arrogant, thought that going to a program with a better title would mean better options for my future and there was no one able to talk me down from my high-horse. At 18, we know everything.
But nope, I wanted that "specialty" program at a further school. It didn't come with a scholarship. My commute time went from what could have been 20 minutes, to over an hour at a much further "commuter school". Winter time was brutal..

Well, school started: I had issues with my parents and funding of said school. They went from telling me to follow my passion to, "oh where am I supposed to find money to fund your school". So I continued to work quite a few hours while in school, I did my best to have all my classes in 1 to 2 days so that I wouldn't need to commute to that shit school, and could work more hours on my off days.
I quickly ended up hating my life. Hating school and not really caring about it... I still went, but started skipping classes. Trying to get notes/details online and from other students. That didn't work out to well and I fell behind, started doing shit in school.
My first year was shit. Passed a few courses, failed a few, dropped a few, etc. But managed to not get kicked out.
Year 2 was much of the same. Shit, but worse. That year my dad got sick which weighed heavily on me. I ended up failing out year.. (there were other things going on as well, more family related but I will leave that out as anything more specific)

I took about 6 months to figure out what to do next and took a diploma course at a community college. (In Canada things are perceived like this: university is like the 'big deal' and college is like for the high school failures - think trades, 'hands on'.).
anyway, college was a joke for me academically. I finished a 3 year program in 2 years, with honors. I managed to get a job from a 'job fair' the school had with banks/local recruiters. I was pretty much the only guy to get hired immediately.
Because of how I fast tracked my program, I was finished in August, and started working in September.

I started out making $45k. I learned a lot about sales. I was selling financial services. I was a hot shot. things were going well for me and soon enough I was promoted to a senior sales guy. My salary went from $45, to $55.. I stayed in the role and hustled and my salary grew. Around the time I transitioned to the new role, I joined these forums. 2014.
The great thing about working in the bank and dealing with clients, you do see people from all walks of life and you get some ideas of things that work and things that dont. I would say that my specific role really opened my eyes to how businesses work.. and being in sales my self, I could see the parallels of what made a successful business owner vs. my own personal success.

I kept hustling, my pay went up (raises/revaluating the role bank wide, etc) and my salary continued to rise year after year. I topped out around $80k, my best year of sales/etc. But I hated my job. I hated the constant managers berating us for more sales. I kept trying to get another position, but by now, I'd been in the same role for to long. I feared I had been black-listed. I couldn't move. I was stuck. Management kept dangling twinkie bars on me though "but if u work really hard, we got an assistant manager job for you".

I was always a pessimist, but I always gave them a chance... so I bought into the whole "work hard to become an a$$-man"... That year I was told to interview for a$$-man position because our vice-president had suggested I interview.. But it was a joke. The didn't actually want to hire me, it seemed like they needed to weigh a pre-selected candidate against me. After they turned me down, the VP wanted a debrief with me personally.. where they told me not to be discouraged and to work hard/blah blah blah.... I knew it was a load of bullshit cause I had seen the shit they were promoting to a$$-Mans across the district... barely functional retards.. seriously... People that had no skills in leadership, were the ones being promoted... meawhile the good people - and yes I consider my self a good rounded person - was left to do the heavy lifting with zero reward.

So, I changed my tactic, and started applying externally. Luckily for me I got scooped up by another bank for a different role with an additional pay-bump. No sales to worry about.

Now, don't get me wrong. My current job is amazing. It's easy work for me, and I get paid about $100k to do it. I dodged a bullet with Covid as I am working from home.. While customer facing roles are still meeting with customers!
But, I'm bored to death.

You're asking, well, where do you suck? Well I turned 35 this year and this is not how I saw life unfolding. While I could do this job for the rest of my life (assuming we aren't axed at the next Shit quarterly earnings) I just feel like every day is the same, and my mind rots. I try to keep my brain active by always pursuing a new designation - thankfully the good thing about banks here is they generally pay for more education...
But I really suck because after 6 years of being on these forums I've accomplished nothing else significant with my life.. (yeah I got married, bought a home, etc) but I don't feel any accomplishment.
I can't scale my income. I can't work hard to make more. I can't get another job because working for a bank comes with rules... The stuff I'm good at like mortgages and real-estate, I can't sell because it's a conflict of interest/etc. I can't self promote my self... another conflict of interest.
I feel trapped.

That's a lot of "I can't"... yeah, I know. Which ads to why I suck..
And then I weigh out the cost-benefit analysis of doing things...
Build a website? learn to code? build a social media empire/help people with instagram?
I dabble... I like to dabble... I'll turn to this website every so often, get excited, try to do something.. Then stop..
I really liked the build a website.. I started doing it.. Figured out how to buy a domain/get hosting, start on word-press, get SSL,etc,etc.. but then I think about it... what will I sell? what trinkets will I sell? Whatever, throw it up there... but then my pessimist comes out...can I do this legally? whats the risk?
what if i sell something to someone and they get hurt/sick/etc. I get sued to make $10? I risk my wife assets along with my assets, to make $10?
I liked the idea of building websites for businesses too... but then I think about the same stuff as above....I'm still working my job and while I can finish my work quickly and have more free time during the day, what am II going to do? spent 30 hours to make $500? what's the real scale of building a website? what if I get real good... What's the timeline look like...and how much time do I need to get real good.. learning programming is a STEEP curve... like real programming..

but you have to understand these waht-if's come from years of working in business field.. I see small businesses failing all the time... they suck. they don't answer the phones when clients call. they make things overly complicated for their clients. they don't focus on the customer.
I've met thousands of clients that come in with their big-dicks swinging like they are king shit with this all-mighty business plan and flopppppp. And now their home is refinanced to the hilt carrying this shit debt that they sacrificed for.

over thinking becomes my crux... im damaged goods from years of seeing people fail/seeing what it takes to succeed/etc...

Anyway, now you know why I shoot your post down or give a sarcastic post and that's why I also suck.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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You don't suck, you're just stuck in what everyone else is stuck in. Your vice is mediocre comfort, enough to keep the mediocre existence going, but not bad enough to do anything about it.

The only way out of that is to find a greater purpose, a meaning, something that means more than the mediocre comfort. Good luck.
 

Envision

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Lots of negativity coming from your post. Woe is me, I suck, I cant do it, why should I...

With your mentality you've already lost and you seem to be stewing in it.

Only you can decide how to respond to life and how to view it.

The nice thing is you're the one in control. Whether you suck or not.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Action expresses priorities.
 

The-J

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Like MJ said, you're comfortable. But you're unhappy with it.

If my dad was in your position when he was 35 he would feel like a success. He wasn't, not even close, yet he felt like a success. His raison d'etre was to provide for his family, and his job did just that. He was happy where he was.

And here you are... unhappy. You're successful on paper, 35 making 6 figures a year, and you start your thread title with "I suck".

Why the hell are you so unhappy? Answer that question and you'll be one step closer to figuring out WHY you should change.

Also: be here now!

Also also, (re) read Simon Sinek's "Start with Why". Gave me a lot of clarity about my indecision and laziness.
 

BizyDad

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Former banker and still risk averse person here, I can relate.

Congratulations on figuring out how to make it in the banking game. I'm surprised you haven't started searching for another job with an outside firm, because just about every jump includes a salary raise.

In a couple years you could be making $150k. And depending on how frugally you live, you should be able to sock away a good pile of cash.

You going to need it.

Because someday you're going to quit your job. And you've got a wife to answer to. But someday you're going to hit your breaking point. You're going to have to do something else.

And based on your current attitude, you're not going to create a side hustle. You're just not that type.

So your only way out is to create a huge pile of cash, then buy a business and run that.

But until then, be proud of where you got to. I know tons of bankers that never figure out how to make it. Tons were stuck. If I were you, I'd be thankful they didn't give you that promotion. You'd be making less now. And you feel more loyal to the company. In the long run that would have hurt you.

Set a goal to save up a bunch of money in two years. Start looking for businesses to buy. When talking to your potential clients, ask them what they think about their exit strategy. Talk to them about how they plan on selling their business. Never ever ever mention that you want to buy it, just act like you are there interested banker and you're talking about their long-term vision for their business.

But these interviews will help you when it comes to actually buying a business, because you'll know how the person on the other side of the transaction thinks.

If you don't like this idea, then do what the successful people on this forum do:

Step 1: find a need
Step 2: fill it
Step 3: repeat

If there's a bona fide need, and you're really good at filling it, it isn't risky at all.

And never forget the soon-to-be famous quote:

Whether you think you suck, or whether you don't, you're right.
 
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Johnny boy

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It's simple, you are risk-averse and not a rebellious person or a very unique thinker.

Just save your money, build a real estate portfolio, continue to live below your means, and spend your free time doing activities that you enjoy doing. You'll make a few mil and won't have to work your job. Nothing crazy but much better than doing nothing.

If you had a real mission or a greater purpose that you wanted to pursue, you would be much much less worried about any perceived risk. To me, I don't care about "losing it all". I have nothing to lose because anything other than my ultimate goal is losing it all anyways.

Also, lots of losers start businesses and fail. Just don't be a loser. You shouldn't live your life thinking you will always receive the median expected results. You are 1 person. If 1 person did it then that's all you need to know. The person who does anything "average" will always have a disappointing life. There's people making millions cutting grass
 

Paul David

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What disappoints me most about this forum are the amount of replies to bleeding heart posts when process/execution threads of entrepreneurs grinding away hardly get a like, never mind a word of encouragement or offer of advice.
That is until they become successful then it's inundated with fanboys cheering the event whilst oblivious to the prior process.

Cut your losses & look after your winners.

Or put another way, if you had several ventures & one was failing, where would you devote your time & energy, the dying or the thriving?

Better yet, there's one space in the lifeboat, which kid do you save, the one destined for Harvard or the one destined for McDonald's?

Cheer young entrepreneurs like Simon Angel, Little Boy, Dilooska etc who are doing the work.

Life's too short to feed those wallowing in self pity.

So are we supposed to ignore people who are asking for help?

Being an entrepreneur can be a very lonely place at the best of times and I've been through every emotion, ups and downs over the last 20 years you can think of.

I'd like to think of this forum as a place whereby whatever challenge you're facing in your life you can ask and get help from some. Myself and @RazorCut have been exchanging messages for the last 6 months and touched on issues such as this.

I'm glad the original poster decided to post this thread and be honest with his feelings, there's too many people these days bottling things up and it's taking it's toll on mental health.
 
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BlackLynx

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To be honest, your opening post really annoyed me. All that negativity, risk averseness, and especially your lack of self-esteem.

It annoys me because this was me 15 years ago. I was raised in a household where negativity was the norm. It's just like that - my dad especially looks at life as a half-empty glass and this mindset got ingrained in me just like the script was carved deep into my being.

It took experiencing the horrors of the slow lane to wake up and - I'm now 44 - I've been slowly and gradually working on myself to release this negativity: meditation, coaches, therapists, you name it. At the same time, I started several side businesses and they all failed in some way or form, because I was not committed to escaping the Slowlane and because I liked to sit in my comfort zone. And .. especially because of this lack of self-esteem.

My recent business IS going very well and I like to think part of the success is the result of the work I did on myself.

Try to dig deep and find out where this negative mindset comes from. Then tackle it.

I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what I would tell my younger self.

Quit f*cking bitching about how bad your life is and either shut up or start taking action. Decide exactly what you want and take one step in that direction every day. No action faking, no lying to yourself. Go get what you want because you DESERVE it and you are WORTH it. More importantly, disconnect your self-worth from any outcome. Businesses fail sometimes through simple bad luck. Don't care what other people think. Be nice to yourself, love yourself. Focus on creating value for others and you'll be alright.

Make it a habit to get out of your comfort zone.

The cave you are afraid to enter holds the treasure you seek.
 

ZF Lee

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April 6, 2014, I joined these forums. I wasn't much back then... and I don't think I'm much now.

Here's my story for you young-guns joining these forums.

I was always pushed into academics. This is the way. High school teachers, parents, aunts/uncles: "go to school" "become doctor, lawyer, accountant" etc. If you don't go to university, you will be a failure at life.
During high school I did alright for the most part. I never studied too hard, never really applied my self. I scored about average.
When it came time to apply to universities, I didn't get into the programs I wanted too. I did get into a few, but, didn't get those esteemed "science" programs that I was destined to go into.

So, I decided I would take a leap year to boost up my grades. I took a semester at a different high school, got my grades up across the board and that year got into all the programs I wanted too (all science stuff). I was even given a few "scholarship" options.. but, unfortunately, my family not knowing anything about how the school system works here in Canada, pushed me to "follow my passion". No one talked 'sense into me'... sure, I mean, ultimately it's my fault. I was arrogant, thought that going to a program with a better title would mean better options for my future and there was no one able to talk me down from my high-horse. At 18, we know everything.
But nope, I wanted that "specialty" program at a further school. It didn't come with a scholarship. My commute time went from what could have been 20 minutes, to over an hour at a much further "commuter school". Winter time was brutal..

Well, school started: I had issues with my parents and funding of said school. They went from telling me to follow my passion to, "oh where am I supposed to find money to fund your school". So I continued to work quite a few hours while in school, I did my best to have all my classes in 1 to 2 days so that I wouldn't need to commute to that shit school, and could work more hours on my off days.
I quickly ended up hating my life. Hating school and not really caring about it... I still went, but started skipping classes. Trying to get notes/details online and from other students. That didn't work out to well and I fell behind, started doing shit in school.
My first year was shit. Passed a few courses, failed a few, dropped a few, etc. But managed to not get kicked out.
Year 2 was much of the same. Shit, but worse. That year my dad got sick which weighed heavily on me. I ended up failing out year.. (there were other things going on as well, more family related but I will leave that out as anything more specific)

I took about 6 months to figure out what to do next and took a diploma course at a community college. (In Canada things are perceived like this: university is like the 'big deal' and college is like for the high school failures - think trades, 'hands on'.).
anyway, college was a joke for me academically. I finished a 3 year program in 2 years, with honors. I managed to get a job from a 'job fair' the school had with banks/local recruiters. I was pretty much the only guy to get hired immediately.
Because of how I fast tracked my program, I was finished in August, and started working in September.

I started out making $45k. I learned a lot about sales. I was selling financial services. I was a hot shot. things were going well for me and soon enough I was promoted to a senior sales guy. My salary went from $45, to $55.. I stayed in the role and hustled and my salary grew. Around the time I transitioned to the new role, I joined these forums. 2014.
The great thing about working in the bank and dealing with clients, you do see people from all walks of life and you get some ideas of things that work and things that dont. I would say that my specific role really opened my eyes to how businesses work.. and being in sales my self, I could see the parallels of what made a successful business owner vs. my own personal success.

I kept hustling, my pay went up (raises/revaluating the role bank wide, etc) and my salary continued to rise year after year. I topped out around $80k, my best year of sales/etc. But I hated my job. I hated the constant managers berating us for more sales. I kept trying to get another position, but by now, I'd been in the same role for to long. I feared I had been black-listed. I couldn't move. I was stuck. Management kept dangling twinkie bars on me though "but if u work really hard, we got an assistant manager job for you".

I was always a pessimist, but I always gave them a chance... so I bought into the whole "work hard to become an a$$-man"... That year I was told to interview for a$$-man position because our vice-president had suggested I interview.. But it was a joke. The didn't actually want to hire me, it seemed like they needed to weigh a pre-selected candidate against me. After they turned me down, the VP wanted a debrief with me personally.. where they told me not to be discouraged and to work hard/blah blah blah.... I knew it was a load of bullshit cause I had seen the shit they were promoting to a$$-Mans across the district... barely functional retards.. seriously... People that had no skills in leadership, were the ones being promoted... meawhile the good people - and yes I consider my self a good rounded person - was left to do the heavy lifting with zero reward.

So, I changed my tactic, and started applying externally. Luckily for me I got scooped up by another bank for a different role with an additional pay-bump. No sales to worry about.

Now, don't get me wrong. My current job is amazing. It's easy work for me, and I get paid about $100k to do it. I dodged a bullet with Covid as I am working from home.. While customer facing roles are still meeting with customers!
But, I'm bored to death.

You're asking, well, where do you suck? Well I turned 35 this year and this is not how I saw life unfolding. While I could do this job for the rest of my life (assuming we aren't axed at the next Shit quarterly earnings) I just feel like every day is the same, and my mind rots. I try to keep my brain active by always pursuing a new designation - thankfully the good thing about banks here is they generally pay for more education...
But I really suck because after 6 years of being on these forums I've accomplished nothing else significant with my life.. (yeah I got married, bought a home, etc) but I don't feel any accomplishment.
I can't scale my income. I can't work hard to make more. I can't get another job because working for a bank comes with rules... The stuff I'm good at like mortgages and real-estate, I can't sell because it's a conflict of interest/etc. I can't self promote my self... another conflict of interest.
I feel trapped.

That's a lot of "I can't"... yeah, I know. Which ads to why I suck..
And then I weigh out the cost-benefit analysis of doing things...
Build a website? learn to code? build a social media empire/help people with instagram?
I dabble... I like to dabble... I'll turn to this website every so often, get excited, try to do something.. Then stop..
I really liked the build a website.. I started doing it.. Figured out how to buy a domain/get hosting, start on word-press, get SSL,etc,etc.. but then I think about it... what will I sell? what trinkets will I sell? Whatever, throw it up there... but then my pessimist comes out...can I do this legally? whats the risk?
what if i sell something to someone and they get hurt/sick/etc. I get sued to make $10? I risk my wife assets along with my assets, to make $10?
I liked the idea of building websites for businesses too... but then I think about the same stuff as above....I'm still working my job and while I can finish my work quickly and have more free time during the day, what am II going to do? spent 30 hours to make $500? what's the real scale of building a website? what if I get real good... What's the timeline look like...and how much time do I need to get real good.. learning programming is a STEEP curve... like real programming..

but you have to understand these waht-if's come from years of working in business field.. I see small businesses failing all the time... they suck. they don't answer the phones when clients call. they make things overly complicated for their clients. they don't focus on the customer.
I've met thousands of clients that come in with their big-dicks swinging like they are king shit with this all-mighty business plan and flopppppp. And now their home is refinanced to the hilt carrying this shit debt that they sacrificed for.

over thinking becomes my crux... im damaged goods from years of seeing people fail/seeing what it takes to succeed/etc...

Anyway, now you know why I shoot your post down or give a sarcastic post and that's why I also suck.
Woah...long story, but I can agree a lot with the tone and the message behind it.
Really appreciate your sharing!

I guess there'll always be something we suck at haha.
Even at the things we think we are good at.

The best we can do is to keep asking ourselves, 'Is there a BETTER way to do this?' or 'Is there another story behind it that no one's telling?'

An example of the latter would be a stock I bought recently.
Manufacturing company for smartphone chips.
Bought it based on the story that it had several orders on the go.

But the price just stayed stiff for a long while, and when I took a look at the ratios on the financial statements, I noticed that the efficiency ratios were pretty slow compared to the industry benchmarks. Cashflow figures and ratios were also missing from Yahoo, which was unusual, considered the firm had been public for a few years.

Then I checked Yahoo's record on INSIDERS trades and spotted an unusual amount of selling by the directors that looked too high for regular profit-taking.

I'll hold for a bit and see, but that shows there's a lot more to learning skills and experiences than meets the eye.
 

S.Y.

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Change your stories. Change the ones you are telling yourself, change the ones you are telling about life, and craft meaningful ones.

Find your purpose. @eliquid has a very good thread on it. Start there.

Lead. Yourself and others. Act like a leader.

I found myself in Stoicism. You can give it a try. Here are few quotes I hope help :

"waste no time arguing what a good man should be. Be one". Be the one you want to be. Act like you ideal self. Everyday.

"man is affected not by events bu the view he takes of them"

"begin at once to live. And count each separate day as separate life"
 

Simon Angel

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Will do.
And your nose will be pressed up against the window, looking in from the outside whilst young entrepreneurs grind away and you lament another wasted 7 years, bemoaning your inactivity despite having a cushy "mediocre" life with 6 figure salary, house & family.


He's not an entrepreneur though is he?

And this is his second whiny post, expect his third around 2024.

Takeaways from the two posts:














There certainly won't be any wars when this generation gets to be world leaders, they'll all be too depressed to fight.

Maybe it's a good thing.

The miserable like company in their misery.

Feel trapped.

@daivey I mean you well, but you're a textbook example of first world problems. Go hit rock bottom if you feel trapped with a 6 figure job and 100k in savings, you'll go through an entrepreneurial metamorphosis real quick.

Better yet, go watch Fight Club, you're literally The Narrator. If I had 100k in savings, you wouldn't see me at a job, that's a shit ton of money to keep you going until you figure out any venture. Comfort breeds weakness, it's s well known phenomenon, and thanks to MBTI I've noticed there's personality types that actively seek and thrive in chaotic, uncomfortable environments and those who are repulsed by that and desire security, predictability and comfort.

Perhaps you're one of the chaotic ones but fallen ill to the U.S Master plan of programming you into being just another cogwheel in society thanks to a good, comfortable earning? Or perhaps that's what you really want, security and comfort but you are being teased by your alter-ego that's risk taking, chaotic and lives on edge.

Considering you've been here for so long and still working a job, I'm going to take a guess it's the latter man.
 

sparechange

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Oh do I have the perfect video for you (it has been shared on here before)

“Mediocrity is doing an ‘okay job,’ having a relationship that ‘works,’ being just ‘a little’ overweight, or having a job that ‘pays the bills.’ … Most people live in a state of mediocrity. Mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is the top.” (Chip fat chicks cant wear yoga pants Wilson)

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9dZQelULDk


I think with 6 figz saved up (which is like a decade of living expenses or me) That's definitely the time to quit and go allin on a business. In the absolute worst case scenario you can always get another job.

Life is short and tomorrow is never guaranteed, enjoy your time on earth before the batteries go out!

Start pursuing your passions, and hobbies that make you want to get up in the morning, life doesn't have to be all work ya know?

Ask yourself, why do I get up in the morning every day? That's a good one.
 
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WJK

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April 6, 2014, I joined these forums. I wasn't much back then... and I don't think I'm much now.

Here's my story for you young-guns joining these forums.

I was always pushed into academics. This is the way. High school teachers, parents, aunts/uncles: "go to school" "become doctor, lawyer, accountant" etc. If you don't go to university, you will be a failure at life.
During high school I did alright for the most part. I never studied too hard, never really applied my self. I scored about average.
When it came time to apply to universities, I didn't get into the programs I wanted too. I did get into a few, but, didn't get those esteemed "science" programs that I was destined to go into.

So, I decided I would take a leap year to boost up my grades. I took a semester at a different high school, got my grades up across the board and that year got into all the programs I wanted too (all science stuff). I was even given a few "scholarship" options.. but, unfortunately, my family not knowing anything about how the school system works here in Canada, pushed me to "follow my passion". No one talked 'sense into me'... sure, I mean, ultimately it's my fault. I was arrogant, thought that going to a program with a better title would mean better options for my future and there was no one able to talk me down from my high-horse. At 18, we know everything.
But nope, I wanted that "specialty" program at a further school. It didn't come with a scholarship. My commute time went from what could have been 20 minutes, to over an hour at a much further "commuter school". Winter time was brutal..

Well, school started: I had issues with my parents and funding of said school. They went from telling me to follow my passion to, "oh where am I supposed to find money to fund your school". So I continued to work quite a few hours while in school, I did my best to have all my classes in 1 to 2 days so that I wouldn't need to commute to that shit school, and could work more hours on my off days.
I quickly ended up hating my life. Hating school and not really caring about it... I still went, but started skipping classes. Trying to get notes/details online and from other students. That didn't work out to well and I fell behind, started doing shit in school.
My first year was shit. Passed a few courses, failed a few, dropped a few, etc. But managed to not get kicked out.
Year 2 was much of the same. Shit, but worse. That year my dad got sick which weighed heavily on me. I ended up failing out year.. (there were other things going on as well, more family related but I will leave that out as anything more specific)

I took about 6 months to figure out what to do next and took a diploma course at a community college. (In Canada things are perceived like this: university is like the 'big deal' and college is like for the high school failures - think trades, 'hands on'.).
anyway, college was a joke for me academically. I finished a 3 year program in 2 years, with honors. I managed to get a job from a 'job fair' the school had with banks/local recruiters. I was pretty much the only guy to get hired immediately.
Because of how I fast tracked my program, I was finished in August, and started working in September.

I started out making $45k. I learned a lot about sales. I was selling financial services. I was a hot shot. things were going well for me and soon enough I was promoted to a senior sales guy. My salary went from $45, to $55.. I stayed in the role and hustled and my salary grew. Around the time I transitioned to the new role, I joined these forums. 2014.
The great thing about working in the bank and dealing with clients, you do see people from all walks of life and you get some ideas of things that work and things that dont. I would say that my specific role really opened my eyes to how businesses work.. and being in sales my self, I could see the parallels of what made a successful business owner vs. my own personal success.

I kept hustling, my pay went up (raises/revaluating the role bank wide, etc) and my salary continued to rise year after year. I topped out around $80k, my best year of sales/etc. But I hated my job. I hated the constant managers berating us for more sales. I kept trying to get another position, but by now, I'd been in the same role for to long. I feared I had been black-listed. I couldn't move. I was stuck. Management kept dangling twinkie bars on me though "but if u work really hard, we got an assistant manager job for you".

I was always a pessimist, but I always gave them a chance... so I bought into the whole "work hard to become an a$$-man"... That year I was told to interview for a$$-man position because our vice-president had suggested I interview.. But it was a joke. The didn't actually want to hire me, it seemed like they needed to weigh a pre-selected candidate against me. After they turned me down, the VP wanted a debrief with me personally.. where they told me not to be discouraged and to work hard/blah blah blah.... I knew it was a load of bullshit cause I had seen the shit they were promoting to a$$-Mans across the district... barely functional retards.. seriously... People that had no skills in leadership, were the ones being promoted... meawhile the good people - and yes I consider my self a good rounded person - was left to do the heavy lifting with zero reward.

So, I changed my tactic, and started applying externally. Luckily for me I got scooped up by another bank for a different role with an additional pay-bump. No sales to worry about.

Now, don't get me wrong. My current job is amazing. It's easy work for me, and I get paid about $100k to do it. I dodged a bullet with Covid as I am working from home.. While customer facing roles are still meeting with customers!
But, I'm bored to death.

You're asking, well, where do you suck? Well I turned 35 this year and this is not how I saw life unfolding. While I could do this job for the rest of my life (assuming we aren't axed at the next Shit quarterly earnings) I just feel like every day is the same, and my mind rots. I try to keep my brain active by always pursuing a new designation - thankfully the good thing about banks here is they generally pay for more education...
But I really suck because after 6 years of being on these forums I've accomplished nothing else significant with my life.. (yeah I got married, bought a home, etc) but I don't feel any accomplishment.
I can't scale my income. I can't work hard to make more. I can't get another job because working for a bank comes with rules... The stuff I'm good at like mortgages and real-estate, I can't sell because it's a conflict of interest/etc. I can't self promote my self... another conflict of interest.
I feel trapped.

That's a lot of "I can't"... yeah, I know. Which ads to why I suck..
And then I weigh out the cost-benefit analysis of doing things...
Build a website? learn to code? build a social media empire/help people with instagram?
I dabble... I like to dabble... I'll turn to this website every so often, get excited, try to do something.. Then stop..
I really liked the build a website.. I started doing it.. Figured out how to buy a domain/get hosting, start on word-press, get SSL,etc,etc.. but then I think about it... what will I sell? what trinkets will I sell? Whatever, throw it up there... but then my pessimist comes out...can I do this legally? whats the risk?
what if i sell something to someone and they get hurt/sick/etc. I get sued to make $10? I risk my wife assets along with my assets, to make $10?
I liked the idea of building websites for businesses too... but then I think about the same stuff as above....I'm still working my job and while I can finish my work quickly and have more free time during the day, what am II going to do? spent 30 hours to make $500? what's the real scale of building a website? what if I get real good... What's the timeline look like...and how much time do I need to get real good.. learning programming is a STEEP curve... like real programming..

but you have to understand these waht-if's come from years of working in business field.. I see small businesses failing all the time... they suck. they don't answer the phones when clients call. they make things overly complicated for their clients. they don't focus on the customer.
I've met thousands of clients that come in with their big-dicks swinging like they are king shit with this all-mighty business plan and flopppppp. And now their home is refinanced to the hilt carrying this shit debt that they sacrificed for.

over thinking becomes my crux... im damaged goods from years of seeing people fail/seeing what it takes to succeed/etc...

Anyway, now you know why I shoot your post down or give a sarcastic post and that's why I also suck.
So, you're bored. And you're afraid that there isn't more for you out there in that big bad world. You have a high intellect -- maybe sounds like you tend to be ADD or have habits along those lines. Things come easy to you IF you chose to put your shoulder into it. When you conquer that challenge -- you are done and you throw it aside. You totally lose interest in that thing that had been so important to you. Now you are looking for the "NEXT" part of your life. It sounds like you need a side gig to occupy your mind. But, you have too many talents and possibilities to make that one next choice. You also understand enough about business and selling that you know the risks. Good for you.

You feel alone. Naught! Been there, done that. Got that T-shirt and the entry-fee ticket stub. This is the life pattern of a lot of us. Welcome to the club. I'm 66 years old and I'm still trying to figure out what I wanna be when grow up. And I've been a lot of things over the years. I reshuffle things every once in while when I'm seeking out a new interest. Each time, the subjects tend to be different, but the struggle is the same.

So, I take limited risks away from my core business -- which feeds us -- so that core business is my sacred cow. My side venture are just that -- limited to my extra time and resources. Each side risk must have a HUGE upside and the odds must be in my favor. I always assume I am going to lose my "nut" that I have on the table. The money, time, and effort are probably going to be a dead loss. I accept that as the price of admission to play the game. But, when I win on one of these ventures, investments, or side gigs, I really win. Yes, those wins are rare, but oh, do they feel good. I always have my ear to the ground looking for next one -- saving for the next one -- chasing down that one more. I use my selling skills to interview everyone around me to find that next one. I used my business experience to weigh its possibilities. It must be small enough to do within my current schedule and my budget. It must be big enough to interest me. I have an old friend for the last 40+ years who says I spin straw into gold. I hope so and I sure try hard. Have you thought about doing something similar?
 

RazorCut

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By many mainstream markers you are successful. So what is alluding you? Simple question you haven’t answered:

What do you want your life to look like?


Figure that out and you are more than halfway there. You then just need the balls to make it happen.

I think MJ nailed it. You are in too comfortable a position to move out of mediocrity.
 

sparechange

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Jasper S

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@daivey You have a fascinating story to say the least. Thank you for sharing!

It sounds like you enjoy, or are at least interested in building websites. Is there anything in your current role a website could help you with? Build it! For example, my first website is a simple calculator I made to help me with a very particular problem I had at work. Your first website doesn't have to be crazy fancy and it will probably take a while to develop. However, at least the way I looked at it is even though it will take me a long time to create that first website, I will learn a ton and it will make the second website come together that much quicker.

As for the analysis paralysis I had a bit of that myself. Before launching anything I felt like any and all liability would be on me. I did research to figure out how to mitigate and limit any risks I could think of. The hardest part mentally was pushing the code to the server because for me that was the first time I had ever sent anything I created out into the market. It was a bit scary, but definitely worth it!
 
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daivey

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@daivey You have a fascinating story to say the least. Thank you for sharing!

It sounds like you enjoy, or are at least interested in building websites. Is there anything in your current role a website could help you with? Build it! For example, my first website is a simple calculator I made to help me with a very particular problem I had at work. Your first website doesn't have to be crazy fancy and it will probably take a while to develop. However, at least the way I looked at it is even though it will take me a long time to create that first website, I will learn a ton and it will make the second website come together that much quicker.

As for the analysis paralysis I had a bit of that myself. Before launching anything I felt like any and all liability would be on me. I did research to figure out how to mitigate and limit any risks I could think of. The hardest part mentally was pushing the code to the server because for me that was the first time I had ever sent anything I created out into the market. It was a bit scary, but definitely worth it!

yeah I've always been interested in the tech side of things for sure. and that's exactly it... over analyzing it..

Lots of negativity coming from your post. Woe is me, I suck, I cant do it, why should I...

With your mentality you've already lost and you seem to be stewing in it.

Only you can decide how to respond to life and how to view it.

The nice thing is you're the one in control. Whether you suck or not.
lol what gave away my negativity?
 

Kevin88660

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April 6, 2014, I joined these forums. I wasn't much back then... and I don't think I'm much now.

Here's my story for you young-guns joining these forums.

I was always pushed into academics. This is the way. High school teachers, parents, aunts/uncles: "go to school" "become doctor, lawyer, accountant" etc. If you don't go to university, you will be a failure at life.
During high school I did alright for the most part. I never studied too hard, never really applied my self. I scored about average.
When it came time to apply to universities, I didn't get into the programs I wanted too. I did get into a few, but, didn't get those esteemed "science" programs that I was destined to go into.

So, I decided I would take a leap year to boost up my grades. I took a semester at a different high school, got my grades up across the board and that year got into all the programs I wanted too (all science stuff). I was even given a few "scholarship" options.. but, unfortunately, my family not knowing anything about how the school system works here in Canada, pushed me to "follow my passion". No one talked 'sense into me'... sure, I mean, ultimately it's my fault. I was arrogant, thought that going to a program with a better title would mean better options for my future and there was no one able to talk me down from my high-horse. At 18, we know everything.
But nope, I wanted that "specialty" program at a further school. It didn't come with a scholarship. My commute time went from what could have been 20 minutes, to over an hour at a much further "commuter school". Winter time was brutal..

Well, school started: I had issues with my parents and funding of said school. They went from telling me to follow my passion to, "oh where am I supposed to find money to fund your school". So I continued to work quite a few hours while in school, I did my best to have all my classes in 1 to 2 days so that I wouldn't need to commute to that shit school, and could work more hours on my off days.
I quickly ended up hating my life. Hating school and not really caring about it... I still went, but started skipping classes. Trying to get notes/details online and from other students. That didn't work out to well and I fell behind, started doing shit in school.
My first year was shit. Passed a few courses, failed a few, dropped a few, etc. But managed to not get kicked out.
Year 2 was much of the same. Shit, but worse. That year my dad got sick which weighed heavily on me. I ended up failing out year.. (there were other things going on as well, more family related but I will leave that out as anything more specific)

I took about 6 months to figure out what to do next and took a diploma course at a community college. (In Canada things are perceived like this: university is like the 'big deal' and college is like for the high school failures - think trades, 'hands on'.).
anyway, college was a joke for me academically. I finished a 3 year program in 2 years, with honors. I managed to get a job from a 'job fair' the school had with banks/local recruiters. I was pretty much the only guy to get hired immediately.
Because of how I fast tracked my program, I was finished in August, and started working in September.

I started out making $45k. I learned a lot about sales. I was selling financial services. I was a hot shot. things were going well for me and soon enough I was promoted to a senior sales guy. My salary went from $45, to $55.. I stayed in the role and hustled and my salary grew. Around the time I transitioned to the new role, I joined these forums. 2014.
The great thing about working in the bank and dealing with clients, you do see people from all walks of life and you get some ideas of things that work and things that dont. I would say that my specific role really opened my eyes to how businesses work.. and being in sales my self, I could see the parallels of what made a successful business owner vs. my own personal success.

I kept hustling, my pay went up (raises/revaluating the role bank wide, etc) and my salary continued to rise year after year. I topped out around $80k, my best year of sales/etc. But I hated my job. I hated the constant managers berating us for more sales. I kept trying to get another position, but by now, I'd been in the same role for to long. I feared I had been black-listed. I couldn't move. I was stuck. Management kept dangling twinkie bars on me though "but if u work really hard, we got an assistant manager job for you".

I was always a pessimist, but I always gave them a chance... so I bought into the whole "work hard to become an a$$-man"... That year I was told to interview for a$$-man position because our vice-president had suggested I interview.. But it was a joke. The didn't actually want to hire me, it seemed like they needed to weigh a pre-selected candidate against me. After they turned me down, the VP wanted a debrief with me personally.. where they told me not to be discouraged and to work hard/blah blah blah.... I knew it was a load of bullshit cause I had seen the shit they were promoting to a$$-Mans across the district... barely functional retards.. seriously... People that had no skills in leadership, were the ones being promoted... meawhile the good people - and yes I consider my self a good rounded person - was left to do the heavy lifting with zero reward.

So, I changed my tactic, and started applying externally. Luckily for me I got scooped up by another bank for a different role with an additional pay-bump. No sales to worry about.

Now, don't get me wrong. My current job is amazing. It's easy work for me, and I get paid about $100k to do it. I dodged a bullet with Covid as I am working from home.. While customer facing roles are still meeting with customers!
But, I'm bored to death.

You're asking, well, where do you suck? Well I turned 35 this year and this is not how I saw life unfolding. While I could do this job for the rest of my life (assuming we aren't axed at the next Shit quarterly earnings) I just feel like every day is the same, and my mind rots. I try to keep my brain active by always pursuing a new designation - thankfully the good thing about banks here is they generally pay for more education...
But I really suck because after 6 years of being on these forums I've accomplished nothing else significant with my life.. (yeah I got married, bought a home, etc) but I don't feel any accomplishment.
I can't scale my income. I can't work hard to make more. I can't get another job because working for a bank comes with rules... The stuff I'm good at like mortgages and real-estate, I can't sell because it's a conflict of interest/etc. I can't self promote my self... another conflict of interest.
I feel trapped.

That's a lot of "I can't"... yeah, I know. Which ads to why I suck..
And then I weigh out the cost-benefit analysis of doing things...
Build a website? learn to code? build a social media empire/help people with instagram?
I dabble... I like to dabble... I'll turn to this website every so often, get excited, try to do something.. Then stop..
I really liked the build a website.. I started doing it.. Figured out how to buy a domain/get hosting, start on word-press, get SSL,etc,etc.. but then I think about it... what will I sell? what trinkets will I sell? Whatever, throw it up there... but then my pessimist comes out...can I do this legally? whats the risk?
what if i sell something to someone and they get hurt/sick/etc. I get sued to make $10? I risk my wife assets along with my assets, to make $10?
I liked the idea of building websites for businesses too... but then I think about the same stuff as above....I'm still working my job and while I can finish my work quickly and have more free time during the day, what am II going to do? spent 30 hours to make $500? what's the real scale of building a website? what if I get real good... What's the timeline look like...and how much time do I need to get real good.. learning programming is a STEEP curve... like real programming..

but you have to understand these waht-if's come from years of working in business field.. I see small businesses failing all the time... they suck. they don't answer the phones when clients call. they make things overly complicated for their clients. they don't focus on the customer.
I've met thousands of clients that come in with their big-dicks swinging like they are king shit with this all-mighty business plan and flopppppp. And now their home is refinanced to the hilt carrying this shit debt that they sacrificed for.

over thinking becomes my crux... im damaged goods from years of seeing people fail/seeing what it takes to succeed/etc...

Anyway, now you know why I shoot your post down or give a sarcastic post and that's why I also suck.
I moved from selling in a bank, to a self-employed broker selling financial products. I am based in Singapore.

Since I am not en employee there is a lot of more personal freedom.

One thing I am currently experimenting is to create a non-face showing recruitment channel on social media for the industry (financial service). Insurance companies, brokers and other retail distributors pay thousands of dollar to recruit a single self-employed salesperson. If it is successful then the channel could be a business asset sold to them In the future.
 
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fastlaner_1992

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April 6, 2014, I joined these forums. I wasn't much back then... and I don't think I'm much now.

Here's my story for you young-guns joining these forums.

I was always pushed into academics. This is the way. High school teachers, parents, aunts/uncles: "go to school" "become doctor, lawyer, accountant" etc. If you don't go to university, you will be a failure at life.
During high school I did alright for the most part. I never studied too hard, never really applied my self. I scored about average.
When it came time to apply to universities, I didn't get into the programs I wanted too. I did get into a few, but, didn't get those esteemed "science" programs that I was destined to go into.

So, I decided I would take a leap year to boost up my grades. I took a semester at a different high school, got my grades up across the board and that year got into all the programs I wanted too (all science stuff). I was even given a few "scholarship" options.. but, unfortunately, my family not knowing anything about how the school system works here in Canada, pushed me to "follow my passion". No one talked 'sense into me'... sure, I mean, ultimately it's my fault. I was arrogant, thought that going to a program with a better title would mean better options for my future and there was no one able to talk me down from my high-horse. At 18, we know everything.
But nope, I wanted that "specialty" program at a further school. It didn't come with a scholarship. My commute time went from what could have been 20 minutes, to over an hour at a much further "commuter school". Winter time was brutal..

Well, school started: I had issues with my parents and funding of said school. They went from telling me to follow my passion to, "oh where am I supposed to find money to fund your school". So I continued to work quite a few hours while in school, I did my best to have all my classes in 1 to 2 days so that I wouldn't need to commute to that shit school, and could work more hours on my off days.
I quickly ended up hating my life. Hating school and not really caring about it... I still went, but started skipping classes. Trying to get notes/details online and from other students. That didn't work out to well and I fell behind, started doing shit in school.
My first year was shit. Passed a few courses, failed a few, dropped a few, etc. But managed to not get kicked out.
Year 2 was much of the same. Shit, but worse. That year my dad got sick which weighed heavily on me. I ended up failing out year.. (there were other things going on as well, more family related but I will leave that out as anything more specific)

I took about 6 months to figure out what to do next and took a diploma course at a community college. (In Canada things are perceived like this: university is like the 'big deal' and college is like for the high school failures - think trades, 'hands on'.).
anyway, college was a joke for me academically. I finished a 3 year program in 2 years, with honors. I managed to get a job from a 'job fair' the school had with banks/local recruiters. I was pretty much the only guy to get hired immediately.
Because of how I fast tracked my program, I was finished in August, and started working in September.

I started out making $45k. I learned a lot about sales. I was selling financial services. I was a hot shot. things were going well for me and soon enough I was promoted to a senior sales guy. My salary went from $45, to $55.. I stayed in the role and hustled and my salary grew. Around the time I transitioned to the new role, I joined these forums. 2014.
The great thing about working in the bank and dealing with clients, you do see people from all walks of life and you get some ideas of things that work and things that dont. I would say that my specific role really opened my eyes to how businesses work.. and being in sales my self, I could see the parallels of what made a successful business owner vs. my own personal success.

I kept hustling, my pay went up (raises/revaluating the role bank wide, etc) and my salary continued to rise year after year. I topped out around $80k, my best year of sales/etc. But I hated my job. I hated the constant managers berating us for more sales. I kept trying to get another position, but by now, I'd been in the same role for to long. I feared I had been black-listed. I couldn't move. I was stuck. Management kept dangling twinkie bars on me though "but if u work really hard, we got an assistant manager job for you".

I was always a pessimist, but I always gave them a chance... so I bought into the whole "work hard to become an a$$-man"... That year I was told to interview for a$$-man position because our vice-president had suggested I interview.. But it was a joke. The didn't actually want to hire me, it seemed like they needed to weigh a pre-selected candidate against me. After they turned me down, the VP wanted a debrief with me personally.. where they told me not to be discouraged and to work hard/blah blah blah.... I knew it was a load of bullshit cause I had seen the shit they were promoting to a$$-Mans across the district... barely functional retards.. seriously... People that had no skills in leadership, were the ones being promoted... meawhile the good people - and yes I consider my self a good rounded person - was left to do the heavy lifting with zero reward.

So, I changed my tactic, and started applying externally. Luckily for me I got scooped up by another bank for a different role with an additional pay-bump. No sales to worry about.

Now, don't get me wrong. My current job is amazing. It's easy work for me, and I get paid about $100k to do it. I dodged a bullet with Covid as I am working from home.. While customer facing roles are still meeting with customers!
But, I'm bored to death.

You're asking, well, where do you suck? Well I turned 35 this year and this is not how I saw life unfolding. While I could do this job for the rest of my life (assuming we aren't axed at the next Shit quarterly earnings) I just feel like every day is the same, and my mind rots. I try to keep my brain active by always pursuing a new designation - thankfully the good thing about banks here is they generally pay for more education...
But I really suck because after 6 years of being on these forums I've accomplished nothing else significant with my life.. (yeah I got married, bought a home, etc) but I don't feel any accomplishment.
I can't scale my income. I can't work hard to make more. I can't get another job because working for a bank comes with rules... The stuff I'm good at like mortgages and real-estate, I can't sell because it's a conflict of interest/etc. I can't self promote my self... another conflict of interest.
I feel trapped.

That's a lot of "I can't"... yeah, I know. Which ads to why I suck..
And then I weigh out the cost-benefit analysis of doing things...
Build a website? learn to code? build a social media empire/help people with instagram?
I dabble... I like to dabble... I'll turn to this website every so often, get excited, try to do something.. Then stop..
I really liked the build a website.. I started doing it.. Figured out how to buy a domain/get hosting, start on word-press, get SSL,etc,etc.. but then I think about it... what will I sell? what trinkets will I sell? Whatever, throw it up there... but then my pessimist comes out...can I do this legally? whats the risk?
what if i sell something to someone and they get hurt/sick/etc. I get sued to make $10? I risk my wife assets along with my assets, to make $10?
I liked the idea of building websites for businesses too... but then I think about the same stuff as above....I'm still working my job and while I can finish my work quickly and have more free time during the day, what am II going to do? spent 30 hours to make $500? what's the real scale of building a website? what if I get real good... What's the timeline look like...and how much time do I need to get real good.. learning programming is a STEEP curve... like real programming..

but you have to understand these waht-if's come from years of working in business field.. I see small businesses failing all the time... they suck. they don't answer the phones when clients call. they make things overly complicated for their clients. they don't focus on the customer.
I've met thousands of clients that come in with their big-dicks swinging like they are king shit with this all-mighty business plan and flopppppp. And now their home is refinanced to the hilt carrying this shit debt that they sacrificed for.

over thinking becomes my crux... im damaged goods from years of seeing people fail/seeing what it takes to succeed/etc...

Anyway, now you know why I shoot your post down or give a sarcastic post and that's why I also suck.

You sound like you need to express yourself.

Actionable things you can do to get yourself out of a rut.

1. Start therapy
2. Do more inner work
a. Meditation
b. Challenging and changing beliefs
c. Hypnosis
d. Listen to Ed Mylett
3. Re-read MJ's books

And most of all its time to love and respect yourself, I know when you don't love or respect aspects of yourself how difficult it can be but what are you going to become if you stay in this energy for another 5, 10, 20 years?

Steering wheel = Your choice

You have the power to choose, start with smaller choices and work up to the big ones.

Set goals and measure them. But start with writing smaller goals down.

Put your vision for your future in your world. Set reminders on your phone. The goal is to saturate your mind with your goals.

Easy said than done but worth it.

Peace and keep pushing to greater heights!

And well done btw for all you've accomplished so far.
 

ZF Lee

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Fear not, he's a long way until your crown is in danger.
PS you get paid by the word on Upwork don't you?
I have done article writing projects on Upwork, but I typically provide copywriting services.

For copywriting though (and for some article writing), it’s actually LESS of word-smithing and more on knowing your markets.

You can use all the hooks and persuasion tricks in the book, but if you don’t start with the right emotions and problems that the prospect is concerned about, they lose steam.

So, in reality, I get paid for getting my research right, and nailing the right pain-points that lead folks to go for the buy or click.
 
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daivey

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go drop your knawledge bombs there then?

What disappoints me most about this forum are the amount of replies to bleeding heart posts when process/execution threads of entrepreneurs grinding away hardly get a like, never mind a word of encouragement or offer of advice.
That is until they become successful then it's inundated with fanboys cheering the event whilst oblivious to the prior process.

Cut your losses & look after your winners.

Or put another way, if you had several ventures & one was failing, where would you devote your time & energy, the dying or the thriving?

Better yet, there's one space in the lifeboat, which kid do you save, the one destined for Harvard or the one destined for McDonald's?

Cheer young entrepreneurs like Simon Angel, Little Boy, Dilooska etc who are doing the work.

Life's too short to feed those wallowing in self pity.
 

Kevin88660

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There's no national service in Malaysia is there?
Then again, Singapore has it & it doesn't seem to toughen them up, Orchard road was pirate city, couldn't go there without being hit on several times a day. KL wasn't far behind though.
Hey @Kevin88660 @Xeon did you guys do national service?
If so, any benefits? In terms of instilling discipline, work ethic etc, not the tight fitted shirts & lithe bronzed bodies that jungle exercise produces.
Wait, what?
Personally I think military experience has been a positive experience for me. I was the military police dealing with problem kids in the army.

At the end of the day, it is the person who decides what is his priority in life and what he takes out from the army. You can be tough commando for two years and once of of service ten years down the road you see the bald guy with a fat stomach binge eating at fastfood after working overtime in CBD office it is the same person... And this is not just in Singapore. It is the same everywhere. I kind have an amateur interest in military matters and I do observe these.

Most people can reach their higher potential in army, because that is what the pressure cooker is designed. The highest priority for any country is survival and this is the system that is designed not to take jokes, executes things by minutes and spell reward and punishment out clearly day by day.

At the end of days when people leave the pressure cooker there is the natural tendency to slouch into their comfort zone. Personally I think military is a great place to learn how they do the art of execution. No one procrastinates but this is the greatest takeaway for work, business and life.
 
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Xeon

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There's no national service in Malaysia is there?
Then again, Singapore has it & it doesn't seem to toughen them up, Orchard road was pirate city, couldn't go there without being hit on several times a day. KL wasn't far behind though.
Hey @Kevin88660 @Xeon did you guys do national service?
If so, any benefits? In terms of instilling discipline, work ethic etc, not the tight fitted shirts & lithe bronzed bodies that jungle exercise produces.
Wait, what?


You seem to have a lot of opinions against my country. Before I go further, I'm curious to know where are you from and are you based here currently? Are you one of those 'the-world-can't-do-without-me' expat, who goes to a foreign country beating up the locals and behaving extremely badly?
 
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Kevin88660

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......I really liked the build a website.. I started doing it.. Figured out how to buy a domain/get hosting, start on word-press, get SSL,etc,etc.. but then I think about it... what will I sell? what trinkets will I sell? Whatever, throw it up there... but then my pessimist comes out...can I do this legally? whats the risk?
what if i sell something to someone and they get hurt/sick/etc. I get sued to make $10? I risk my wife assets along with my assets, to make $10?
I liked the idea of building websites for businesses too... but then I think about the same stuff as above....I'm still working my job and while I can finish my work quickly and have more free time during the day, what am II going to do? spent 30 hours to make $500? what's the real scale of building a website? what if I get real good... What's the timeline look like...and how much time do I need to get real good.. learning programming is a STEEP curve... like real programming..

but you have to understand these waht-if's come from years of working in business field.. I see small businesses failing all the time... they suck. they don't answer the phones when clients call. they make things overly complicated for their clients. they don't focus on the customer.
I've met thousands of clients that come in with their big-dicks swinging like they are king shit with this all-mighty business plan and flopppppp. And now their home is refinanced to the hilt carrying this shit debt that they sacrificed for.

over thinking becomes my crux... im damaged goods from years of seeing people fail/seeing what it takes to succeed/etc...
To me all your complaints are just Decision problems to be solved by you.
1) How do you find a business with enough upside potential to justify the risk you are taking and time spent?

2) How do you limit potential liability? Business Insurance? Incorporation structure?

3) How do you find a field that doesn’t take you forever To learn the necessary skill? You want to be on the later stage of the growth trajectory early.

4) How do you avoid over-investing in your business that will cause you lose everything, e.g. losing your refinanced home? Choosing a field that is not capital intensive?

It is actually one big research question for you. As long as you take your time to brainstorm many possible projects/ideas, and rate them one by one, you are likely to find one that is reasonable worth a try, as long as you have reasonable expectation that every time you want to have limited downside you will cap your upside potential as well.

Also be creative. There is someone here who is bankrupt but work as an employee for a company under his dad name. In these day you can operate an online business without showing your face, if you really want to be paranoid against your company knowing that you are moonlighting.
 

sparechange

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Hi Daivey... I wonder is your problem that you haven't had your FTE: "f*ck This Event".

Either way It looks like you've been brought down by the Guardian of the Gate!

Best of luck! :peace:

''Now, don't get me wrong. My current job is amazing. It's easy work for me, and I get paid about $100k to do it. I dodged a bullet with Covid as I am working from home.. While customer facing roles are still meeting with customers!''

His problem is comfort, it's difficult to have a FTE event when you are paid well and have ''easy work'' as OP mentioned, but... even if you are making $1m a year at a job you are still a slave, just a well paid slave.

At 35 your death clock is ticking away faster and faster, sadly all the money in the world cannot save you from this, so to the OP. Project yourself to your death bed, what are all the things you want to do before your time is up? Pretend your whole life will flash by and all of your friends & family will watch some type of videotape summarizing your whole existence. Will it be filled with regret? Or amazing stories of how YOU overcame the odds which 99% of people on the planet fail at (and worse never even MADE the attempt?)

Get started today, the real reason to become an entrepreneur is to have freedom. If these don't motivate you to quit your job and start something I doubt much will.

Freedom to not have an alarm clock
Freedom to do whatever you want
Freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want
Freedom to have no stress about how you are going to pay the rent or mortgage
Freedom to do nothing all day if you desire
Freedom to travel the world
Freedom to be with your friends/family

Monday morning is coming up, how excited are you to lose another week of your life in a job for pieces of paper? Shouldn't you be out enjoying life with friends and family?

Ah..........
 

Xeon

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Then again, Singapore has it & it doesn't seem to toughen them up, Orchard road was pirate city, couldn't go there without being hit on several times a day. KL wasn't far behind though.
Hey @Kevin88660 @Xeon did you guys do national service?
If so, any benefits? In terms of instilling discipline, work ethic etc, not the tight fitted shirts & lithe bronzed bodies that jungle exercise produces.
Wait, what?
Sorry you feel that way, not my intention at all.
I loved Singapore, all my friends were Singaporean & I didn't hang around with expats at all. Same for every foreign country I lived in.
From & currently based in the UK.

Ok, to answer your previous question, no, I don't think conscription toughens guys up. Maybe in the US where guys willingly enrol into the military, sure, but conscription is another thing altogether. You're taking a bunch of guys who are extremely unwilling to serve in the army and making them serve. After they get out from the army, the average guy would be around 21 years old, still an extremely young and immature age, and they still behave like college guys, I don't any difference. The people with negative mindsets in the army end up with equally shitty careers 10 years down the road, the military didn't change anything.

Also, I'm not sure why you refer to Orchard Road as "pirate city". "Couldn't go there without being hit on several times a day"? LOL??!! The majority of the population in Orchard Road nowadays are all maids from the Philippines and tourists, it's hard to find locals there, unless you're being hit on by maids? LOL The youths here nowadays don't go Orchard much.
 
D

Deleted78083

Guest
Hey,

Thx for sharing, I could recognize myself in a lot of what you wrote. I'll tell you what, you are way too comfy. You are not doing anything because the effort to do something is stronger than the pain of not doing it. You are like the cat that is complaining it is sitting on a nail, but that is too "lazy" to move. You need a bit of "motivation", a "life or death situation" since it seems these are the only ones during which you can perform. So here's my suggestion.

1. Quit your job.
2. Donate all your belongings and net worth.
3. Keep enough money to live anywhere in the world for a year, renting a studio (20 000 USD ought to be more than enough).
4. Start hustling cuz if you don't, you'll be sleeping in the street in a year.


Alternatively, you can quit your job and go to Latin America to volunteer. Or you can quit your job, travel a little, then build an online business on a beach in Thailand. Or you can do the exact same job you do now in an Eastern European country, where you make 1200 USD before taxes, per month, if you are lucky. Trust me, working for almost nothing motivates you to make money on your own.

I think you got the idea ;)

Good luck,


M.
 
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