I rather be a failed entrepreneur than an average employee that never took a risk

[AgainstAllOdds]

So here's my current situation:

Graduated college. Didn't take a job. Decided to commit to the fastlane. Started seriously 4 months ago. Currently on track to bring in $10,000 in passive income.

Here's my problem: My friends, family, and everyone around me keeps giving me crap. They keep telling me or insisting that I'm a failure for "not getting a job", "not going to grad school", etc. Then, when I try to rationalize that I'm happy with where I'm at, and that I'm making progress, the response I get is that I'm delusional.

A typical conversation goes like this:
Them: "How's 'business' going?"
Me: "Well, my current efforts are set to bring in about $10,000, so I'm hoping to scale that."
Them: "Have you thought about getting a job?"
Me: "Yeah, but there's no point. If I grow this to $60,000 in passive income within the next couple years, then I'll never have to work again."
Them: "Hmmm...but have you applied for jobs? You could've got a $50,000 job if you tried right out of school. You might be able to get a $40,000 job now and not have to take on all that risk. What if you fail and waste two years?"

The worst is that my parents keep comparing me to my friends. "Peter got a job, and he's doing really well. You've always been better than Peter, and now you've wasted all your potential."

I try not to have this get to me, but it's really hard when each week the people you care about bring you down.

However, here's what keeps me going: I know I'd rather be a failed entrepreneur than an average employee that never tried.

Let's say I fail, and this all turns to nothing. I'll be bummed, and depressed, but to think of the opposite scenario, where I never tried, that seems even more depressing.

 

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[7.62x51]

You can also "waste" years of your life in a job or in school learning about things which won't mean anything to you 5 years down the road.

 

[MindWarrior]

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

-Steve Jobs

 

[GuestUser113]

 

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[Kingmaker]

The only way to shut them up is massive success man. Use it as fuel to work that much harder.


P.S. #1 regret of people on their deathbed: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

 

[wade1mil]

I've struggled trying to make various business work, but reading your question made me remember why I keep doing it. I quit my job back in 2011 with about $10k in the bank. For the next two years I started a few businesses and gave a half-assed effort. Once I ran out of the money, the thought of getting a job made getting hit by a car seem fun. So I worked 14-16 hour days for about 9 months and took maybe ten days off. I lost money or broke even the entire time, until one day I woke up at 10:00 having made $3,000 in profit. I ended up making $6,700 that day which was the most I had ever made in a day.

Now the thought of having to work over eight weeks at $20 per hour to make that amount, makes a job seem even worse. Since then, people have asked me why I don't go get a job, and my response has always been telling them this story. I'm not against having a job if that's what you need to do in order to stay afloat for the time being, but it's sure a crappy end goal.

You may or may not want to do this because it involves lying to them, but you could say, "Why would I get a job when I made $20,000 last week?" Maybe not your parents, but it would probably shut your friends up and let you focus on your business without the nagging.

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

I liked your post, but wanted to clarify that most of these people mean well. They have good intentions, but just see things differently - which I guess is something I struggle with.

Pushing forward gets difficult when everyone around you is saying you're wrong. I assume it comes with the territory, but the thought that everyone else is right, and I'm wrong, that's scary. The thought that I can be so misguided that I do the opposite when everyone sees what's actually happening, that's a fear that I live with.

However, every time that this fear comes up, I sit down and look at the fundamentals:
1. Am I sticking to the process?
2. Am I giving it my all?
3. At this rate, am I on track to hit my goals?
4. Is this pain and fear today worth my potential success?

...and after that, I silence myself with more work.

 

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[Ninjakid]

Let's say I fail, and this all turns to nothing. I'll be bummed, and depressed, but to think of the opposite scenario, where I never tried, that seems even more depressing.

Let's say you fail your first time around. So what? You try it again. I can't remember who it was, but I read a quote from an entrepreneur that went something like this:

"I started a business and it completely flopped. The second one didn't do any better really and flopped. The third one did a little better than flopped again. The fourth and fifth were quite a bit better than flopped again. The sixth one was PayPal."

If you're determined enough you can make anything happen.

As for all the people around you, I think just about everyone on this forum has been in the same position. Almost no one believes in you when you start out. The fact that it gets to you says that you subconsciously don't believe in yourself, and their words are getting under your skin. Believe in yourself, because no one is going to do it for you. I've been called arrogant, egotistical, and stubborn by more than a few people but one thing I will admit is that it helped get me to where I am now.

Some of your friends and family may never change their opinion, but the closest ones to you likely will when they see you doing well. When I realized that basically no one believed in me, I just stopped telling people what I was doing. If they suggested I should get a job I would be like "yeah I'll do that," and just go back to doing whatever I was doing. Interestingly enough, lots of people who were initially skeptical became supportive of me. My mom for example even offered to lend me money for my ventures if I needed it, which even though I never took it, I still think it's kinda cool because she was initially skeptical.

Some people though, and you can probably tell right off the bat who they are, are just going to be constant naysayers and they'll tell you you can't do things not because they're trying to offer genuine advice, but because they straight up just don't want you to succeed because it will force them to face the fact that they don't have the balls to attempt what you're doing. I had a few "friends" like this, but I don't talk to them anymore because I really get nothing out of it. My real friends will tell me when they think I'm full of shit, but they also acknowledge when I know what I'm talking about. Naysayers try to seem like they're just giving you helpful advice but really they're hoping you fail miserably.

Above all, be good to everyone. Not because it's the nice thing to do, but because it empowers you and makes you a stronger person. Money isn't the only form of power in this world.

 

[carlolacson]

So here's my current situation:

Graduated college. Didn't take a job. Decided to commit to the fastlane. Started seriously 4 months ago. Currently on track to bring in $10,000 in passive income.

Here's my problem: My friends, family, and everyone around me keeps giving me crap. They keep telling me or insisting that I'm a failure for "not getting a job", "not going to grad school", etc. Then, when I try to rationalize that I'm happy with where I'm at, and that I'm making progress, the response I get is that I'm delusional.

A typical conversation goes like this:
Them: "How's 'business' going?"
Me: "Well, my current efforts are set to bring in about $10,000, so I'm hoping to scale that."
Them: "Have you thought about getting a job?"
Me: "Yeah, but there's no point. If I grow this to $60,000 in passive income within the next couple years, then I'll never have to work again."
Them: "Hmmm...but have you applied for jobs? You could've got a $50,000 job if you tried right out of school. You might be able to get a $40,000 job now and not have to take on all that risk. What if you fail and waste two years?"

The worst is that my parents keep comparing me to my friends. "Peter got a job, and he's doing really well. You've always been better than Peter, and now you've wasted all your potential."

I try not to have this get to me, but it's really hard when each week the people you care about bring you down.

However, here's what keeps me going: I know I'd rather be a failed entrepreneur than an average employee that never tried.

Let's say I fail, and this all turns to nothing. I'll be bummed, and depressed, but to think of the opposite scenario, where I never tried, that seems even more depressing.

Woah I'm in the same situation right now bro.I quit my job because i already have enough funds and know what to do. My father is disappointed to me and he thinks I'm a failure because I didn't follow what he wants for me to have a great career in corporate world..My family believes in slowlane philosophy and never started a business that's why they are shocked that I want to be in business and they always keep telling me what do i know about business?.

I don't blame them and I know it will be painful for a while because they don't support me and they will only understand unless i prove to them. Anyway there's no going back failure or not I'm happy because for the first time of my life I stick in my decision and never listen to anyone but myself.Goodluck to you.

 

[Mattie]

A typical conversation goes like this:
Them: "How's 'business' going?"
Me: "Well, my current efforts are set to bring in about $10,000, so I'm hoping to scale that."
Them: "Have you thought about getting a job?"
Me: "Yeah, but there's no point. If I grow this to $60,000 in passive income within the next couple years, then I'll never have to work again."
Them: "Hmmm...but have you applied for jobs? You could've got a $50,000 job if you tried right out of school. You might be able to get a $40,000 job now and not have to take on all that risk. What if you fail and waste two years?"

I haven't really had this conversation about entrepreneurship, but I have suggested stuff before I even got in here, and they shot it down telling me to get a real job since the age of 18. I used to make Jewelry and sell it when I went to Reggae festivals and other concerts. That was in a grassy field in the middle of no where. In consignment shops, and dream catchers. Fortunately, I was sent to the psychologist for him to tell me why I needed to have a real Job.

At 18 I could have taken off very easily as an Entrepreneur. I had graphics and printing/ Jewelry/ Photography. Instead I listened to that crap because everything was consider a hobby and pipe dreams. And today I could beat myself up for listening to people tell me it was more productive having a normal job and if I could I would go back in time and re-write that script and do the things I was good at. I watched all my friends turn what they called, "Hobbies into businesses." Guess where all my friends are at today? Perhaps not millionaires, but they are doing well and stuck it out from 18 until now.

At that time I didn't know what an Entrepreneur was, and the one's that did do it around me only did it half way as a hobby and dropped the projects, or don't know what they're doing. I can see that being in here.

I used to do Antique dealing as well, and why didn't I succeed. The example of others around me were not doing it right to begin with and I think that ticks me off. Ha ha! It counts on who is influencing your life and if they know what they're doing in the first place.

"There was one point someone stated, "Why aren't you successful like everyone else?" And today I look at these people and ask "I wonder why that is?" Perhaps the wrong people telling me how to succeed without the right method or mindset. And I'm not blaming them for my choices. I take full responsibility for this, but one thing I've learned is trust yourself and listen to yourself more then other people. Sure, I listen to some people in this forum because they have businesses that are succeeding. They're setting another type of example.

You have to remember your belief system and mindset is over their head. M.J. elaborated on Side Walk, Slow Lane, and Fast Lane for a reason. The game of life is played three different ways and strategies. Different lifestyles, behaviors, habits, thinking, and doing. There version of taking action is any job as long as you pay your bills and be responsible. And in my experience you have ten different people with tend different directions you're supposed to be going at the same time. This is chaos and confusion and fear so you can't think clearly and go in the right direction. Everyone in the forum is clear minded, or headed there. They think for themselves instead of being influenced by others thinking.

And for those Naysayers well they never know when to stop. And I agree about them hoping you don't make it. They like having control of the situation and supervising you around. You have more control when they're not in control of the situation or circumstances. Whether you make it or not from point of view, I did it their way most of my life. History says: I'm going to fail doing it their way and I suppose I'm skeptical of their choices now just from what I've learned. Even the successful one's I knew influencing the situation were nice people that feed you, but they didn't teach me to fish, and sell fishing poles, or scale fishing poles. Complete strangers did. So, there's something wrong with this mindset if you're slow lane and have the mindset of telling someone to get a sidewalk job and be successful. I suppose they're unaware of what they're doing, but it never made any sense, and still doesn't today.

the balls to attempt what you're doing

I have to agree with this statement. There aren't many people that have the balls really succeed and their version of success is not success by any means.

 

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[PaulRobert]

My friends, family, and everyone around me keeps giving me crap.

I followed the same path after college. Stuck to my fastlane plan and have been doing it full time for 6 months already.

#1. Do not care what anyone else thinks or says about your fastlane plan. This is your life, not theirs. If they don't get it, tough shit, in 10 years they will still hate their jobs that they have to go to every single day.

However, every time that this fear comes up, I sit down and look at the fundamentals:
1. Am I sticking to the process?
2. Am I giving it my all?
3. At this rate, am I on track to hit my goals?
4. Is this pain and fear today worth my potential success?

#2. Welcome to the real world of entrepreneurship. This is where most people give up and dive for the safety net called a 9-5.

I try not to have this get to me, but it's really hard when each week the people you care about bring you down.

Change the circles that you run with. I've done the same and started surrounding myself with people that are business oriented and actually understand entrepreneurship. You would be amazed how your business changes as well.

 

[LibertyForMe]

A typical conversation goes like this:
Them: "How's 'business' going?"
Me: "Well, my current efforts are set to bring in about $10,000, so I'm hoping to scale that."

Your response should be, "Fine, thanks. How are you doing today?"

 

[RHL]

 

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[rich_l]

my wife once said "I don't want to be a part of your internet scams" lol!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

my wife once said "I don't want to be a part of your internet scams" lol!

Well the internet is full of em, and depending on your track record, she might be in the ballpark!?

So here's my current situation:

Graduated college. Didn't take a job. Decided to commit to the fastlane. Started seriously 4 months ago. Currently on track to bring in $10,000 in passive income.

Here's my problem: My friends, family, and everyone around me keeps giving me crap. They keep telling me or insisting that I'm a failure for "not getting a job", "not going to grad school", etc. Then, when I try to rationalize that I'm happy with where I'm at, and that I'm making progress, the response I get is that I'm delusional.

A typical conversation goes like this:
Them: "How's 'business' going?"
Me: "Well, my current efforts are set to bring in about $10,000, so I'm hoping to scale that."
Them: "Have you thought about getting a job?"
Me: "Yeah, but there's no point. If I grow this to $60,000 in passive income within the next couple years, then I'll never have to work again."
Them: "Hmmm...but have you applied for jobs? You could've got a $50,000 job if you tried right out of school. You might be able to get a $40,000 job now and not have to take on all that risk. What if you fail and waste two years?"

The worst is that my parents keep comparing me to my friends. "Peter got a job, and he's doing really well. You've always been better than Peter, and now you've wasted all your potential."

I try not to have this get to me, but it's really hard when each week the people you care about bring you down.

However, here's what keeps me going: I know I'd rather be a failed entrepreneur than an average employee that never tried.

Let's say I fail, and this all turns to nothing. I'll be bummed, and depressed, but to think of the opposite scenario, where I never tried, that seems even more depressing.

You have the talent. You have the drive. You have what it takes to get there. The only question that remains is how long will it take?

Your story saddens me how parents can be so consumed by mainstream dogma that they're willing to destroy their kids' dream.

 

[rich_l]

Well the internet is full of em, and depending on your track record, she might be in the ballpark!?



You have the talent. You have the drive. You have what it takes to get there. The only question that remains is how long will it take?

Your story saddens me how parents can be so consumed by mainstream dogma that they're willing to destroy their kids' dream.

thanks!

 

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[Andy Black]

When I realized that basically no one believed in me, I just stopped telling people what I was doing. If they suggested I should get a job I would be like "yeah I'll do that," and just go back to doing whatever I was doing.

^^^ This.

Above all, be good to everyone. Not because it's the nice thing to do, but because it empowers you and makes you a stronger person. Money isn't the only form of power in this world.

^^^ And this even more.

Pushing forward gets difficult when everyone around you is saying you're wrong. I assume it comes with the territory, but the thought that everyone else is right, and I'm wrong, that's scary.

The thought that I can be so misguided that I do the opposite when everyone sees what's actually happening, that's a fear that I live with.

However, every time that this fear comes up, I sit down and look at the fundamentals:
1. Am I sticking to the process?
2. Am I giving it my all?
3. At this rate, am I on track to hit my goals?
4. Is this pain and fear today worth my potential success?

...and after that, I silence myself with more work.

Good for you.

I found this short video interesting and helpful:

 

[obrian]

just follow your dreams, don't give a damn about what somebody want to say about you because at the end of the day it's your life and if you follow another persons advice and get a job as you look around your 40 and have two kids and miserable marriage due to financial reasons and at the end of the day you are going to look back and say ,"if i did know i have would start that business and i would be in the caribbean on a beautiful island drinking pina colada with your beautiful wife and kids". so follow your dreams and the money will come. as they always say, "Our mind is like a mine, some people dig and find gold, while the others dig and find coal ". don't be the coal miner.

 

[csalvato]

"Don't believe me. Just watch."

 

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[Ecom man]

Unfortunately, many entrepreneurs have to deal with this from family and friends. You have to decide how you deal with it. Does it motivate you or make you give up?

My mother in law has been giving me a hard time for 5+ years about my "eBay business". That is exactly what she says "your quote business" Both my mother in law and father in law have no idea how to handle money let alone run a business but yet they feel the need to poke fun at my business any chance they get. Over Christmas my father in law asked me how much was the most i had spent at a time on inventory. I told him $2,000. (I have actually spent over 30k at a time multiple times) he proceeded to tell me how i was taking way too big of a risk ($2000 is a big risk?). He is in his 60's working as a cleaner at a big box store and will have to work until he dies. My stupid little business? I made a $30,000 profit last month.

Use the doubters to propel you to new heights!

 

[csalvato]

Your response should be, "Fine, thanks. How are you doing today?"

100x this.

I used to say "Yeah, profits are coming in. Now time to scale." Big mistake.

 

[carlolacson]

100x this.

I used to say "Yeah, profits are coming in. Now time to scale." Big mistake.

i guess there's no point in arguing with slowlane parents.I'll just have to do what I need to do.

 

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[P3HSB]

Here's my problem: My friends, family, and everyone around me keeps giving me crap.

I try not to have this get to me, but it's really hard when each week the people you care about bring you down.

This is too real. I get the same exact thing. Its starting to wear me out. I try not to talk about it much, but parents obviously know what I am doing. They keep telling me it won't work, just get a job.

Every time I experiment with something and fail, my mom would always come up to me and say "told you that didn't work, its not going to sell, stop wasting money". When she says something like this, its a reinforcement to my brain telling me its not going to work and she is right.

This causes a lot of self doubt inside of me. When sales aren't coming in, I would start to question myself whether this is going to work or not. Then I would get all depressed again.

But when I come on this forum and read stuff like this, It feels comforting knowing that like minded people are going through the same struggle.

 

[naturesrx]

Failing only gives u experience. More knowledge the better.

 

[Glorydog]

I understand exactly where you're coming from. My parents support me for now, but I wonder what they'll be telling me when I'm still working on a business, not making much money, and quit my job.

One thing that stood out to me was that you have "wasted your degree by not getting a job." This makes absolutely NO sense to me. Where is your degree going? You will ALWAYS have that degree. You should always be able to fall back on that degree when things get rough if necessary. Jobs will always be out there. It's not like they, or your degree are going somewhere.

 

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[naturesrx]

This is only one life.. only one chance. By working for someone will never fulfill u dreams. It might put you in comfort zone. And that's exactly why you will be working all u r life as u will be knitting the Web of responsibilities around u and that will make u even more difficult to take risks. It's hard work initially but the rewards are big. Not only with money also with the most important and that is TIME. That is the biggest wealth u can achieve.

 

[Dhil]

So here's my current situation:

Graduated college. Didn't take a job. Decided to commit to the fastlane. Started seriously 4 months ago. Currently on track to bring in $10,000 in passive income.

Here's my problem: My friends, family, and everyone around me keeps giving me crap. They keep telling me or insisting that I'm a failure for "not getting a job", "not going to grad school", etc. Then, when I try to rationalize that I'm happy with where I'm at, and that I'm making progress, the response I get is that I'm delusional.

A typical conversation goes like this:
Them: "How's 'business' going?"
Me: "Well, my current efforts are set to bring in about $10,000, so I'm hoping to scale that."
Them: "Have you thought about getting a job?"
Me: "Yeah, but there's no point. If I grow this to $60,000 in passive income within the next couple years, then I'll never have to work again."
Them: "Hmmm...but have you applied for jobs? You could've got a $50,000 job if you tried right out of school. You might be able to get a $40,000 job now and not have to take on all that risk. What if you fail and waste two years?"

The worst is that my parents keep comparing me to my friends. "Peter got a job, and he's doing really well. You've always been better than Peter, and now you've wasted all your potential."

I try not to have this get to me, but it's really hard when each week the people you care about bring you down.

However, here's what keeps me going: I know I'd rather be a failed entrepreneur than an average employee that never tried.

Let's say I fail, and this all turns to nothing. I'll be bummed, and depressed, but to think of the opposite scenario, where I never tried, that seems even more depressing.

Its normal actually. I am also in the same boat as you. Iam fighting and going all out for my dreams. Lets keep swimming.

 

[kph200]

Every entrepreneur gets the same response...'You are taking huge risk', 'Billy from your school has got married and driving a Mercedes' blah blah blah

Don't pay any attention to their slowlane philosophy and deep enlightment that comes with 9-5 job . Keeping working hard and one day they will be amazed by your over night success.

 

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[RHL]

Ok, so I posted my goofy meme response. Here's a real one. This is my inbox:

Cynthia is my mom. Every partially blacked email is a position opening in a variety of different fields. I get a minimum of 20 a week from her.

If your from a good home, your parents love you. I'd take a bullet for my mom, but it's hard to snap out of a mindset that's been ingrained for a long time. My brother and sister have pensions, and health benefits, and leave the house to work. I don't, and I usually don't. And that causes a lot of worry. It's also hard for them when the definition of success is different. Like @kph200 said, if Billy has a house and a Mercedes, he's successful, if you don't, you're not.

Parents will worry. Appreciate it as a sign of concern, and move on. Projecting calm and confidence goes a long way too, if you're not worried, they won't worry as much.

 

[ZCP]

Look at it as an advantage. With so many being pulled back into the lobster tank, there is less competition.

You don't need their support. You need to figure out what product / service they need and provide it to them. Then they will talk about what you do until the cows come home.