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RANT I am a scared little Sh!%

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Spicymemer45

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I am afraid of failing

Which is ironic because I've already failed an innumerable amount of times.

Fear that blocks me from what I want is a wall I've been breaking down in my life for the past three or four years, it's a constant battle. And I've made a lot of ground.

BUT

When entrepreneurial ventures that I really desire come up.

I FREEZE

I know full and well that it's a logical thought process and servicing to a market but that fear clouds my mind, I could sit on my a$$ and watch Gary Vaynerchuck (Or whatever his name is) blab at me for 45 minutes about "Just get started"

But as I sit here and type out this message. I realize that emotions will never leave me for as long as my brain functions properly, I gotta feel it to heal it. Then begin my actions and think like a f*cking winner.

Thanks Fastlaners. I intend to be active once more

Cheers.​
 

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Vigilante

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I am afraid of failing

Which is ironic because I've already failed an innumerable amount of times.

Fear that blocks me from what I want is a wall I've been breaking down in my life for the past three or four years, it's a constant battle. And I've made a lot of ground.

BUT

When entrepreneurial ventures that I really desire come up.

I FREEZE

I know full and well that it's a logical thought process and servicing to a market but that fear clouds my mind, I could sit on my a$$ and watch Gary Vaynerchuck (Or whatever his name is) blab at me for 45 minutes about "Just get started"

But as I sit here and type out this message. I realize that emotions will never leave me for as long as my brain functions properly, I gotta feel it to heal it. Then begin my actions and think like a f*cking winner.

Thanks Fastlaners. I intend to be active once more

Cheers.


Afraid of what, exactly?

Fear is a really strange master.

Know what I am afraid of?

  • I am afraid of not trying
  • I am afraid of someone else controlling my destiny
  • I am afraid of regrets from inaction
  • I am afraid of growing old and wondering "what if"
  • I am afraid other people don't have my best interest in mind
  • I am afraid that the American dream, as it is sold, is a lie
  • I am afraid to be dependent on the economy for my wellbeing
  • I am afraid I have been fed a lifetime of bullshit
  • I am afraid of the script
So I guess you and I have fear in common, but we have a different means of facing our fears.
 

cmor16

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I am afraid of failing

Fear of failure is a very general fear. I don't think you fear failure specifically. You said yourself that you have failed countless times before. Did something really bad happen when you failed? The fear doesn't come from failure itself, it comes from the negative feelings that your brain manufactures when you think about failing.

Failure is not bad, but no matter how many times you hear that, the fear of it doesn't go away.

What is it about failure specifically that you are afraid of? Shame or embarrassment? Disappointing others? Not profiting from your efforts (monetarily and/or emotionally)?
Answer that question and you can begin to attack the cause vs. the symptom.
 

MidwestLandlord

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  • I am afraid of growing old and wondering "what if"
  • I am afraid other people don't have my best interest in mind
Oh boy, me too. ^^^^

@Spicymemer45

I was wondering where you were! Glad to see ya back. Feel free to start up our PM again if you wish.

Anyway,

I fear failure because I fear not being "good enough"

I fear not having value to others. Family, my kids, society, whatever.

Inaction is comfortable, because I never have to face that fear, ya know?

As cliche' as it sounds, just taking action really is the answer. It's super simple, you just do it.

I'll give an example of facing fears I did:

When I was a teen, I was really a loser. I literally threw up once trying to get the courage to call this girl I liked that gave me her number (yeah, we actually called chicks back then lol)

A friend of mine challenged me to get over my fear by blasting the Spice Girls "wannabe" song out my car windows when stopped for a red light. I wouldn't, so he did. He even sang and danced to it. People looked over and laughed at him. He gave NO shits. NOT ONE.

So I did it. Terrifying.

And you know what? The world didn't end. (as much as I thought for sure it would)

Soon he had me walking through our local mall singing Spice Girls LOUDLY and not givin' a shit what anyone thought (yeah, we had malls back then too haha)

It's the same in business. Make a move, take action. People will judge. f*ck 'em.

Trust me, the pain of regret is much harsher than the pain you create in your mind about what other's think of you. (unless you can read minds, you're just making that shit up in your head anyway)

Take enough action to desensitize yourself.

Like getting a tattoo. The first one hurts like a BITCH. After that? Meh.
 

Vigilante

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I had a business once.

Put everything I had into it.

Lost it in a hostile takeover.

Woke up with nothing and over a million dollars in debt.

I survived. It didn't kill me.

Remind me again what you are afraid of?

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds. - Bob Marley
 

Runum

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That little voice in your head is very powerful. It can control you or you can take the steps to control it.

My little voice tells me that I can do this and this next challenge is no big deal, just another step. My little voice used to tell me that I wasn't good enough or smart enough or strong enough. I had to change the channel because of the mental beat down.

My little voice will sometimes try a hostile take over still, but I have songs, strategies, battle scars, and victories that tell my little voice to shut up and get back on the right channel.

We all have it in us if you want to change the channel. We are enough and can learn more to be even more enough.

What does your little voice tell you?

Good luck.
 

IceCreamKid

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Don’t worry, if you’re anything like me then your list of regrets will pile up over the course of many years and you’ll look back and be like, “I missed out on X biz opportunities. I missed out on that one girl. I missed out on that one getaway vacation. The list goes on”.

It’s at that point where the fear of regret outweighs the fear of failure and you’ll become an obsessed action taking junkie because there’s no more time left to dilly dally.

Pull the trigger.
 

Ivan M.

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I am afraid of failing

Which is ironic because I've already failed an innumerable amount of times.

Fear that blocks me from what I want is a wall I've been breaking down in my life for the past three or four years, it's a constant battle. And I've made a lot of ground.

BUT

When entrepreneurial ventures that I really desire come up.

I FREEZE

I know full and well that it's a logical thought process and servicing to a market but that fear clouds my mind, I could sit on my a$$ and watch Gary Vaynerchuck (Or whatever his name is) blab at me for 45 minutes about "Just get started"

But as I sit here and type out this message. I realize that emotions will never leave me for as long as my brain functions properly, I gotta feel it to heal it. Then begin my actions and think like a f*cking winner.

Thanks Fastlaners. I intend to be active once more

Cheers.​
I know what you mean about afraid of failing.

I also put everything into my two franchises and lost it all during the recession, two homes and a repo on my car. Since then I didn't think it was a good idea to "risk" starting a business or buy a franchise ever again until I had a taste of the slow-lane. Doing the slow-lane was far more worse than the position I had when I was a businessman because there's nothing in this realm except working 8-5 "Oh-God-it's-Monday!" and "Thank-God-is-Friday!" scenario. So I had to come back to my roots of entrepreneurship.

We all learn from our lesson of fear. I think everyone agrees that fear is just one of the lessons that comes with the territory of business. We must not fear. . .fear, instead take it as a lesson of what "not" to do next time. Believe me, once we master the feeling of fear in the world of entrepreneurship it becomes an opportunity rather than a deterrent.

That's my two cents.
 

MJ DeMarco

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When entrepreneurial ventures that I really desire come up.

I FREEZE

Fear can cripple you, or it can motivate you. You can choose which.

Here's how FEAR motivated me to do other things I feared, or things that were uncomfortable...

I fear having to wear a 3 piece polyester suit everyday...
I fear having a boss...
I fear having to get up at 5AM M-F for the next 50 years...
I fear 7AM rush hour everyday...
I fear having to get on a train for 2 hours before work...
I fear having the government be my retirement security...
I fear losing my house because I lost my job...
I fear living a life of someone else's design...
 

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Andy Black

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Look in the mirror and repeat after me:

"I am enough. Because I said so."
 

G-Man

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We have nothing to fear but minor temporary hardship - Franklin Delano Roosevelt
 

SparksCW

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Could talk about this for hours, but in short..

I quit my job after years of action faking and deliberating.

Working a job I didn't like, for a family member I didn't work too well with. Nightmare!

One day I just woke up and said enough is enough, sold my nice new high-end car within a week and set a date....

Handed in my notice....

Scared but excited.... my last day came around and the next morning I'd be in my own office doing my own thing! Answerable to myself, and also reliant on myself to keep a roof over my families head.

That was a year ago and you know what?

I've paid the bills every month since!

I'm not setting the world on fire but I'm doing okay, my business is growing. I can do what I want when I want and whatever profits I do make are mine!

Nothing bad happened. And what if it did?

I realised that if my business fails I'd end up working another well paid job for someone else in a better company with a sideline hustle. No family business issues. Even my worst case scenario was way better than the current situation.

You just need to realise that, make a decision and ACT.
 

JasonR

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A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.” — John A. Shedd.

I love this quote and think of it when I'm afraid to do something. We were all scared when we first started. I have discovered that the difference between successful and unsuccessful people is not IQ or intelligence, it's boldness - highly successful people are BOLD. There are many poor people who are extremely intelligent: fortune favors the bold.

Feel the fear, and do it anyway.
 
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Joe Cassandra

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When I was in high school, we needed to raise funds for our sports team to make a trip...we needed a big idea for what to sell... Cookies? Candy bars?

The idea that won --- sell vidalia onions door to door. (WTF? Apparently moms dig on them...forget the milkman...door-to-door onion man )

All through HS and college and beyond, I was deathly afraid of sales. I never liked being sold to. I come from a big family and my dad always had his 'salesmen shield' up to protect our finances...

At the end of the fundraiser, guess how many I sold?

Two. Guess where I sold them?

My parents? Nope, was too afraid to even sell to them.

I bought them myself with money I made mowing my own backyard. Terrible.

After college, for years I 'played' business doing everything under the sun except SELL something: Write blogs, do a podcast, guest post on sites like Business Insider, try and build worthless junk, apps, etc.

It wasn't until I started taking small steps towards selling that I got over my fear of selling.

1. I started reaching out to people (cold) and just tell them I like their work --- many no responses...only small *twinges* of rejection
2. I then started reaching out to people to get their advice (a small 'ask') --- more no responses...but always an 'excuse' why they didn't answer
3. I then started reaching out to people to meet them (a bigger 'ask') --- many 'no thanks' --- starting to hurt some
4. I then started reaching out to people I didn't know tell them what I'm doing (writing copy) --- many more 'no thanks' --- rejection
5. I then started pitching companies about my services and getting them on the phone to sell them --- full on rejections I don't care about anymore

It's like stepping into a pool for the first time. It's freezing, you think about getting out and staying warm on your beach chair. But, at some point, you must emerge your entire body. For 5 seconds, your body screams in pain. Then, you are fine. But, just because you're fine now, doesn't mean the next time you get out of the pool, your body won't scream in pain again for another 5 seconds the next time you get in.

Soon, you expect it. You tough it out. You keep swimming.
 

Argue

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Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Fear doesn't exist anywhere but in the mind.

It's crazy because when we start visualizing, fear makes the wolf bigger than it is.

Ultimately, if you don't fight for what you want, don't cry for what you've lost. Time.
 

Pat D. Rick

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I fear failure because I fear not being "good enough"
This is exactly like I am and it makes absolutely no sense if you think about it rationally.
But I guess that's the problem with emotions. It is hard to fight them with logic.
 

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