Hey, hopefully this isn't too late, but just looked over your copy and thought I'd offer some advice. Similar to what was said above, it does sound a little spammy. The reason I think it does is because, at least from my gaming experience, a mousepad isn't going to make you into a gamer pro. Now I know you're not saying that specifically, but your message, at least at the beginning, makes it sound like that by buying this mouse pad, you will play like a pro - which doesn't add up in my mind. You need to be believable.
The other comment I'll make is that your first two lines/headlines do a good job of peaking curiosity, but then you throw all of that built-up curiosity away instantly by saying "ALL pro PC gamers use a specialized gaming mousepad".
Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools you can use to keep people reading, yet you disregard it by telling the reader immediately what your secret is. I would rearrange your copy, perhaps putting that line at the END of that paragraph as an answer to the question, what quick fix you could make to up your gaming potential a TON? Or perhaps to the end of a story, wherein someone was struggling with a certain aspect of gaming until they made this one switch to their gear. Keep your readers curious!
Hope that makes sense, and I hope it didn't sound too critical - just trying to help! You did a good job of outlining it and made it flow well, so great job
The other comment I'll make is that your first two lines/headlines do a good job of peaking curiosity, but then you throw all of that built-up curiosity away instantly by saying "ALL pro PC gamers use a specialized gaming mousepad".
Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools you can use to keep people reading, yet you disregard it by telling the reader immediately what your secret is. I would rearrange your copy, perhaps putting that line at the END of that paragraph as an answer to the question, what quick fix you could make to up your gaming potential a TON? Or perhaps to the end of a story, wherein someone was struggling with a certain aspect of gaming until they made this one switch to their gear. Keep your readers curious!
Hope that makes sense, and I hope it didn't sound too critical - just trying to help! You did a good job of outlining it and made it flow well, so great job