How to Shatter Internal Resistance to Massive Wealth? (Would love advice from $10k+/month earners)

[ModernAlpha]

Hi Fastlaners,

I've been an entrepreneur for the past few years. I'm a men's dating coach and manage online dating accounts. I'm "my own boss", "following my passion", set my own schedule, have no alarm clock, etc. so better lifestyle than most people, but my income seems to plateau somewhere around $3,000/month.

This level is about what I've made previously in construction for years, a job I hated doing.. so now I'm making an equivalent amount doing what I truly love (I literally get paid to hang out with guys and motivate them to approach women.), sometimes it still shocks me that I get paid well for this (after years of very hard physical labor work for less/the same).

I believe I'm now hitting an internal block with my income. Not to brag, but I honestly feel I'm one of the best coaches in the world at what I do. Many clients have taken training that is 3 times the price of mine with other companies and they told me that got so much more out of my training. That these big companies are just marketing machines that don't give a shit about the clients after they pay them. They just do the bare minimum promised and lead clients through a cookie cutter program with no personalized advice.

I charge $999 for a two day "bootcamp", I only do 1-on-1 coaching and customize every session to exactly what will help each client the best. Many more established companies, charge $2500 - $3900 for a similar two day training, only I truly feel they do not come close to serving / caring / adding value to clients lives as much as I do.

I've actually seen some of these other companies coaching live in NYC (many coaches take clients to the same packed areas) and I'm never impressed with what I see them doing.

One part of me sees these other companies prices and says: "Wow if these guys charge $3,000 for THAT, then I should charge $9,000 cause my program is at least 3 times better than that!"

But honestly the next thing I say internally, is "who would pay ME that much money?" and I feel like it's not possible to find clients in that price range. Honestly, I even feel like a $2,000 price tag is "too much" for this type of training. I feel like these other companies are preying on desperate men, their goal is to get the most profit and not actually care about the clients results, etc. I feel there is some validity to these thoughts but also classify them as negative barriers to increasing my income dramatically.

My newest solution, is to apply fastlane formulas and scale my income up with monthly membership programs on my website, and online courses, etc. I know the value in my training is there, its just a matter of getting my message out to the most people. I'm motivated, I'm taking action, I'm seeing some positive results money wise.. but still feel their is alot of internal resistance to doubling/tripling my income in the next few months!

I've read many books on money mindset.. understand logically that I need to make a shift with my money mindset to take my income to the next level. Just looking for any practical ways to make this shift as fast as possible.

Let's keep this thread as potent with powerful advice from real money-making entrepreneurs so everyone else can get as much value as possible from it!!

Thanks guys, I love this forum and all the value on here!!!

 

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[Vigilante]

Hi Fastlaners,

I've been an entrepreneur for the past few years. I'm a men's dating coach and manage online dating accounts. I'm "my own boss", "following my passion", set my own schedule, have no alarm clock, etc. so better lifestyle than most people, but my income seems to plateau somewhere around $3,000/month.

This level is about what I've made previously in construction for years, a job I hated doing.. so now I'm making an equivalent amount doing what I truly love (I literally get paid to hang out with guys and motivate them to approach women.), sometimes it still shocks me that I get paid well for this (after years of very hard physical labor work for less/the same).

I believe I'm now hitting an internal block with my income. Not to brag, but I honestly feel I'm one of the best coaches in the world at what I do. Many clients have taken training that is 3 times the price of mine with other companies and they told me that got so much more out of my training. That these big companies are just marketing machines that don't give a shit about the clients after they pay them. They just do the bare minimum promised and lead clients through a cookie cutter program with no personalized advice.

I charge $999 for a two day "bootcamp", I only do 1-on-1 coaching and customize every session to exactly what will help each client the best. Many more established companies, charge $2500 - $3900 for a similar two day training, only I truly feel they do not come close to serving / caring / adding value to clients lives as much as I do.

I've actually seen some of these other companies coaching live in NYC (many coaches take clients to the same packed areas) and I'm never impressed with what I see them doing.

One part of me sees these other companies prices and says: "Wow if these guys charge $3,000 for THAT, then I should charge $9,000 cause my program is at least 3 times better than that!"

But honestly the next thing I say internally, is "who would pay ME that much money?" and I feel like it's not possible to find clients in that price range. Honestly, I even feel like a $2,000 price tag is "too much" for this type of training. I feel like these other companies are preying on desperate men, their goal is to get the most profit and not actually care about the clients results, etc. I feel there is some validity to these thoughts but also classify them as negative barriers to increasing my income dramatically.

My newest solution, is to apply fastlane formulas and scale my income up with monthly membership programs on my website, and online courses, etc. I know the value in my training is there, its just a matter of getting my message out to the most people. I'm motivated, I'm taking action, I'm seeing some positive results money wise.. but still feel their is alot of internal resistance to doubling/tripling my income in the next few months!

I've read many books on money mindset.. understand logically that I need to make a shift with my money mindset to take my income to the next level. Just looking for any practical ways to make this shift as fast as possible...

PLEASE REPLY IF: You're a successful entrepreneur that has personally shattered your "average" money beliefs, and increased your business income dramatically in a short period of time.

PLEASE DON'T REPLY IF: You're a wantrepreneur / not making over $3,000/month as a business owner. (Sorry to sound pretentious but I'm just not interested in advice on this specific topic from people making less than me, since that would be a direct contradiction to what I'm asking for here lol.)

Let's keep this thread as potent with powerful advice from real money-making entrepreneurs so everyone else can get as much value as possible from it!!

Thanks guys, I love this forum and all the value on here!!!

I think you are a bricklayer.

A bricklayer only gets paid when he is doing the physical labor. When he's on vacation, at night, during the weekends.. the bricklayer is not getting paid.

You have identified the problem, but I am not convinced (neither are you) that you have solved it yet. You are missing the element of SCALE and you haven't separated your TIME from your income.

"I only do 1-on-1 coaching and customize every session to exactly what will help each client "

How many more hours do you have to lay more bricks? Even if you charged 3x more, that's only $9k/mo. You have to rethink every aspect of your business and market to reach scale. You will never get there just doing more of what you are doing.

So, the online courses etc. might be a vehicle.

@Kung Fu Steve any advice?

BTW, you might want to soften your edge on listening to others. I totally get what you are saying, but I have learned a TON from people here on the forum that started small. One of my favorite posters on the forum started when she was working for someone else for peanuts. Now she is a USA Today top selling author. Don't judge a book by your opinion of it's cover (in her case, literally.) You can privately filter the wheat from the chaff, but you never know what you might turn up from someone who might have an idea to lend you that doesn't meet the cutoff. Took me a long time to learn that because my ego wanted to believe otherwise. There are many future millionaires that frequent these halls.

 

[JoeB]

I watched one of your videos in another of your threads and you seem like a nice guy. Unfortunately everything else (your username, what you do, dictating who can reply to your threads) makes you seem like a complete tosser.

Fortunately for me, I make enough to qualify to post this on your thread.

 

[Guest34764]

I believe I'm now hitting an internal block with my income. Not to brag, but I honestly feel I'm one of the best coaches in the world at what I do.

So why are you stuck at 3,000/month?

I'd ditch the 1-1 and hire other PT's to do it for me.Use your website to run a promotion and gather a pool of clients from there.

Or like Vigilante said, the online courses could be a good start.I would start a youtube channel and post some videos on there and gain leverage, and use the leverage to promote courses on your website.People eat that stuff up.

I don't make 3,000/month, but hopefully, my advice helped.

 

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[Fox]

But honestly the next thing I say internally, is "who would pay ME that much money?" and I feel like it's not possible to find clients in that price range.

If you are sticking with your current model this is the main belief you have to shatter. I have read some of your other posts and seen you spend some time in Medellin (heading there this weekend if you are around) but it looks like you are mainly based out of Long Island. Plenty of potential clientele in both those areas to charge a lot higher.

In game the higher the status the higher you could charge. If you are teaching daygame (or bar game) then the market that would attract would top out at a certain point. Professional athletes, CEOs and wealthy person usually don't run daygame, they run social circle game. If you switch up your service to subtle but effective social circle game I think you could vastly increase those prices.

My thoughts would be to work on high status dating advice for guys who have recently come into big money or who have the money but little social skills. They don't want to fish in regular places and you can guide them in how to manage the exclusive parties and events.

Another approach is to model similar industries were guys have used new models to vastly increase their business. One example is The Body Coach Joe Hicks (!?) who went from by the hour personal trainer to a 100+ person business within two years. I think he makes something like 20 million a year. Check out his many interviews for his mindset and approach. He highly leveraged social media to create a massive audience.

In short richer clients or massive social media following with courses, books, online info etc.

 

[Vigilante]

BTW the domain name internalresistance.com is available as a premium domain name for a 1x fee of $450. You might be able to get it cheaper depending on who owns it (?)

It's a good concept.

 

[ModernAlpha]

I think you are a bricklayer.

A bricklayer only gets paid when he is doing the physical labor. When he's on vacation, at night, during the weekends.. the bricklayer is not getting paid.

You have identified the problem, but I am not convinced (neither are you) that you have solved it yet. You are missing the element of SCALE and you haven't separated your TIME from your income.

"I only do 1-on-1 coaching and customize every session to exactly what will help each client "

How many more hours do you have to lay more bricks? Even if you charged 3x more, that's only $9k/mo. You have to rethink every aspect of your business and market to reach scale. You will never get there just doing more of what you are doing.

So, the online courses etc. might be a vehicle.

@Kung Fu Steve any advice?

BTW, you might want to soften your edge on listening to others. I totally get what you are saying, but I have learned a TON from people here on the forum that started small. One of my favorite posters on the forum started when she was working for someone else for peanuts. Now she is a USA Today top selling author. Don't judge a book by your opinion of it's cover (in her case, literally.) You can privately filter the wheat from the chaff, but you never know what you might turn up from someone who might have an idea to lend you that doesn't meet the cutoff. Took me a long time to learn that because my ego wanted to believe otherwise. There are many future millionaires that frequent these halls.

Thanks for the advice! I forgot to mention above that I also manage online dating accounts for guys, and I've hired and trained people to do the work for me, so that project has had periods of not being locked to my time and making decent money. Over the last year it average about $900/month.. but it seems that if I have a good month with the online dating management, then I have a bad month with my coaching.. its like I always seem to end up with $2,500 - $3,000/month earned. If I do the online dating personally the results are amazing and the clients are super happy. If I hire someone, I gain my time freedom, but results drop quickly, sometimes dramtically. If I pay someone that is as good as me, then I have extremely small profit margin left and it's not worth it.
That's why I'm focused on fixing the core issue which is internal barrier to much more income.

I do feel a little silly for saying who I'd like to reply and who not to, but I was hoping for advice from someone that can say something like: look I struggled with my own internal barriers to making more money for years, I was stuck at $XXX, then I did X, Y, and Z, and now I make $XXXXX/month etc.. so in other words real world advice from someone that has personally done exactly what I want to do (shatter any internal resistance to massive wealth).

 

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[ModernAlpha]

I watched one of your videos in another of your threads and you seem like a nice guy. Unfortunately everything else (your username, what you do, dictating who can reply to your threads) makes you seem like a complete tosser.

Fortunately for me, I make enough to qualify to post this on your thread.

Thanks for the compliment and also constructive criticism is always appreciated. I have no idea what a "tosser" is but it sounds derogatory lol.

I do feel a little silly for saying who I'd like to reply and who not to, but I was hoping for advice from someone that can say something like: look I struggled with my own internal barriers to making more money for years, I was stuck at $XXX, then I did X, Y, and Z, and now I make $XXXXX/month etc.. so in other words real world advice from someone that has personally done exactly what I want to do (shatter any internal resistance to massive wealth). Since you are a "qualified replier", it would be very appreciated if you can tell me some of your story.. did you struggle with limiting mindset around money before hitting your success phase? etc.

As far as my username, Modern Alpha is a new project I'm working on.. I do believe the modern world has many men that are not in touch with their masculinity and I aim to provide guidance on how to create their ideal lifestyle balance within the bounds of modern society. So I personally love the name haha.

As far as what I do (teach guys to meet women), it's quite polarizing and I meet people all the time that are turned off by it.. usually women or married men that haven't had the need to meet women in years, the same people that tell lonely struggling friends "just be yourself" and it will work out, aka no actionable advice. and also from people that have been exposed to the Pick Up Artist crap that's out there. If you glance at what I do and throw me in the category with those types , that's fine, I completely get it, I'd probably do the same thing if I were you. But just to clarify, I actually do a great job at helping introverted men overcome their anxiety and fears in regards to starting conversations and flirting with attractive women. There is nothing creepy, weird, aggressive, predatory about this. I teach men to express themselves honestly, identify when there is a genuine connection, and then ask for her number/date from there. If you think that's a bad thing, then that's just your own negative beliefs about it, not the reality.

 

[AndrewNC]

but still feel their is alot of internal resistance to doubling/tripling my income in the next few months!

Since you're answering about internal resistance and not practical advice, your answer is here....

This is what I do....If someone I say this to has a closed/fixed mindset- they won't listen to a word I say...

But those with an open mind and are ready to let go of that limitation, it works.

^as you can see - there is a lot of stuff going on that impacts your beliefs and behavior.

The first step - Imagine it is a few months in the future and imagine you already doubled or tripled your income. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you feel?

Can you feel as if you already doubled or tripled your income? If yes, look back and notice what steps you took to get there (this is called future pacing and ti works). Then hold that state of already achieving as you come back to the present moment.

Can you still feel as you already doubled or tripped your income? Or is something getting in the way?

If you still feel it, look forward and notice how that blockage is gone and how you have more clarity in the steps you are taking now to make it happen.

If no to any of the question above - search on Youtube for EFT (first result is by Mercola) - they have a good demo- Focus on doing the technique with the words "I have this blockage).

Notice how the blockage disappeared.

But honestly the next thing I say internally, is "who would pay ME that much money?"

That voice in your head...imagine moving it out of your head, and change the voice to something stupid like Eric Cartman from south park. Notice how it impacts you less.

If it's still an emotional block on it, refer back to the EFT example.

 

[ModernAlpha]

If you are sticking with your current model this is the main belief you have to shatter. I have read some of your other posts and seen you spend some time in Medellin (heading there this weekend if you are around) but it looks like you are mainly based out of Long Island. Plenty of potential clientele in both those areas to charge a lot higher.

In game the higher the status the higher you could charge. If you are teaching daygame (or bar game) then the market that would attract would top out at a certain point. Professional athletes, CEOs and wealthy person usually don't run daygame, they run social circle game. If you switch up your service to subtle but effective social circle game I think you could vastly increase those prices.

My thoughts would be to work on high status dating advice for guys who have recently come into big money or who have the money but little social skills. They don't want to fish in regular places and you can guide them in how to manage the exclusive parties and events.

Another approach is to model similar industries were guys have used new models to vastly increase their business. One example is The Body Coach Joe Hicks (!?) who went from by the hour personal trainer to a 100+ person business within two years. I think he makes something like 20 million a year. Check out his many interviews for his mindset and approach. He highly leveraged social media to create a massive audience.

In short richer clients or massive social media following with courses, books, online info etc.

Thanks! Very relevant advice! I've played with the idea of going for richer clients before.. I thought of offering only one service.. monthly phone/skype coaching packages to wealthy guys struggling with dating, this would get me to double/triple my hourly rate but it's still violates the Commandment of Time. I really like the idea of the social circle focus for wealthy people.. that is something I haven't thought of so thanks! Although I honestly feel there would be a dip in my income for a few weeks/months if I instituted this type of pricing and go a new angle with my coaching today. So my focus is to release a monthly membership program.. offer unlimited email coaching and also do a weekly google hangouts call with all my members. This way I'm leveraging my time to the maximum. And it could scale much more rapidly.

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

@Kung Fu Steve any advice?

I have made 10's of dollars!

I'll repeat some of the same advice already given because it's a point that needs to be driven home. It's important to qualify the advice you're given especially if it's from strangers on the internet who may or may not be the real deal... but you're going to have a very hard time getting "successful" people to qualify themselves to you if you're asking for advice. Does that make any sense?

"Hey I need help... but I don't want your help unless you tell me who you are and how successful you are."

With that being said, someone somewhere said I know what I'm doing once in a while so if you were sitting in front of me I'd ask:

What are your beliefs and rules around money?

Clearly you are very comfortable where you are. It's a should, not a must, to earn more. That sentence should be read three times.

So if you're up for a little homework why don't you list these out for me -- it'll probably benefit everyone here (because there's many entrepreneurs in your boat making around that much money. It's enough to live on -- in some states/countries -- but not enough to achieve their ultimate outcomes and goals).

Simply finish the sentences:

"To be financially successful I must..."

1.
2.
3.

"To earn more money than I earn now I must..."

1.
2.
3.

"If I had $1,000,000 cash today people would think ___________ about me."

1.
2.
3.

"The reason I cannot earn more than $3,000 today is..."

1.
2.
3.

 

[ModernAlpha]

Since you're answering about internal resistance and not practical advice, your answer is here....

This is what I do....If someone I say this to has a closed/fixed mindset- they won't listen to a word I say...

But those with an open mind and are ready to let go of that limitation, it works.
View attachment 12254
^as you can see - there is a lot of stuff going on that impacts your beliefs and behavior.

The first step - Imagine it is a few months in the future and imagine you already doubled or tripled your income. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you feel?

Can you feel as if you already doubled or tripled your income? If yes, look back and notice what steps you took to get there (this is called future pacing and ti works). Then hold that state of already achieving as you come back to the present moment.

Can you still feel as you already doubled or tripped your income? Or is something getting in the way?

If you still feel it, look forward and notice how that blockage is gone and how you have more clarity in the steps you are taking now to make it happen.

If no to any of the question above - search on Youtube for EFT (first result is by Mercola) - they have a good demo- Focus on doing the technique with the words "I have this blockage).

Notice how the blockage disappeared.



That voice in your head...imagine moving it out of your head, and change the voice to something stupid like Eric Cartman from south park. Notice how it impacts you less.

If it's still an emotional block on it, refer back to the EFT example.

WOW.. thanks so much for sharing this!! This is the exact type of stuff I wanted to see! I went through your questions, I can briefly feel like I've tripled my income and I can see a few paths that can make it happen, but quickly the feeling subsides and I feel like it's more likely not going to happen, like I will lose focus and/or sabotage my success in some other way. This amazing exercise has uncovered a few of my blocks more clearly.. I've noticed these before briefly but never took the time to write them out / share them with others..

I know they logically make zero sense, but I'm just sharing what I feel emotionally from time to time.

Here are a few examples...

"Do you REALLY think it's possible to make so much money doing something you love?"
My family is filled with men that worked physical labor jobs. For example, my grandfather busted his a$$ his entire life doing something he hated to just make enough to support his family. Now in comparison, I'm getting paid way more to walk around the city and talk with guys, which is 100% fun for me, I'm one of the lucky people that truly loves what he does. I know logically my advice is changing their lives, etc but in comparison, I feel a degree of guilt for "having it so easy". Which brings me to another negative belief that comes up...

A "real man" busts his a$$, just to get by with money.
I believe this is the unspoken blueprint for "being a man" I picked up from my family. Men in my family are quick to dismiss/make fun of guys that have office jobs, etc. as weak/not manly. They are also quick to make fun/criticize/dismiss rich people.. "he must be a scam artist", "he must have inherited it from his family", "he's ripping people off". I know logically these make zero sense, but I still FEEL them from time to time. I guess it's a human ego thing to look for ways to justify why others have achieved something but you haven't. I look at founders of successful startups and many times I'm motivated immensely by their stories, but then a part of myself can't help but think "I can't believe this skinny little nerd is a multi-millionaire.. all he did was code a website" (aka he's not manly enough). Of course this is not what I believe at all, I understand coding is very complex, and making any website successful is super impressive feat, but I do FEEL it for a few seconds.

I know these may sound stupid and have no logic behind them.. I'm just sharing in case other people are being held back by these types of beliefs and we can help each other shatter them and move forward to greater success!

I'm now working on counter-balancing these negative beliefs with empowering ones.. for example:

"a 'real man' busts his a$$ to make money" gets replaced with "a 'real man' takes control of his financial life and leverages the internet to skyrocket his income." & "Any guy that works hard AND struggles with money is just incompetent"

"Do you really think it's possible to make so much money doing what you love?" gets replaced with "Serve millions. Make millions", "It doesn't matter if you love it or not, if it's valuable to others and you scale it on the internet, you will make tons of money".

Thoughts/Suggestions?

 

[ModernAlpha]

What are your beliefs and rules around money?

Clearly you are very comfortable where you are. It's a should, not a must, to earn more. That sentence should be read three times.

My logical beliefs are: "If I put in the work, I will be successful.", "Anything I need to learn, I can learn", "Money is a reflection of how much value I provide to others", and "Money is a tool to create the lifestyle I want to live."

My emotional beliefs are: "Do you REALLY think it's possible to make so much money doing something you love?" & "A 'real man' busts his a$$, just to get by with money". I mentioned these in my last reply.

YES! You're a genius because you hit the nail on the head! Being COMFORTABLE is honestly my biggest limitation to massive success. I can look at my life over the last few years and identify a pattern: If I'm "behind the curve" with money (aka less than about $3,000/month), I'll do whatever it takes to boost my income up. Sometimes I straight up amaze myself with the miracles I pull out of my a$$ to make a few grand here or there when needed. BUT, and this is a huge but... Once I have enough to pay my bills, buy food, and some spending money, I'm actually pretty content and comfortable with life. I engage in procrastinatory behavior, I slack off and watch Rambo 2 on netflix instead of finishing that blog post, etc.

Which leads me to my next realization: Money actually isn't my biggest value. Control of my TIME to do what I want is. That's why I hated having jobs, because it required me to trade my time Mon - Fri, do errands all day Sat, and then only have Sun to do what I actually wanted.

Any solutions to this one? because I'm assuming thousands/millions of people suffer from this one if they're honest about it.
If you ask the question, would you rather work 80 hours a week for a million/year OR 4 hours/week for $100k. I'd answer: I'd rather work 1 hour/week for just enough to get by... as long as my bills are paid and I have the maximum amount of free time for myself, I'm actually pretty content and happy.

Sure, I feel the desire to grow my business and help others, and "make the world a better place" with my message, etc. but honestly that is probably 40% of my value system, control over my free time is more like 60% of what I value.

Now that I've explored this topic, I realized I really do feel that I just want a digital business to cover my living expenses and give enough spending money so I can travel the world and not have to trade my life away with work. Sounds very selfish when I write it out like that, but that's pretty much what I feel.

 

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[ModernAlpha]

___

Thank you tremendously for sharing these questions. I answered them being completely honest without any filtering..

"To be financially successful I must..."

1. (short-term) Consistently earn way more than enough to pay my bills & spending money (maybe double/triple what I actually need)
2. (next year or so) Earn more than $10,000/month with digital business
3. (next 10 years) Become a multi-millionaire.

"To earn more money than I earn now I must..."

1. Shatter my negative money beliefs that hold me back.
2. Be more focused (on the specific actions that will get me where I want to be).
3. Implement a new system to my businesses, one that obeys all the CENTS Commandments. My struggle has been implementing something that embraces the SCALE and TIME commandments AND earns more than $2,000/month.

"If I had $1,000,000 cash today people would think ___________ about me."

1. I'm lucky (code word for "he doesn't deserve that")
2. Family/friends would be intimidated by/ uncomfortable with my success. They would still love me but there would be an "elephant in the room" because of the money gap between us.
3. Look at me as "less manly" because I'm not struggling to get by. (as referenced in my posts above)

"The reason I cannot earn more than $3,000 today is..."

1. Self-limiting beliefs that cause my to procrastinate / spend time on the wrong activities.
2. A small part of me still doesn't believe it's possible for me.
3. It would be more than I've ever earned (as an entrepreneur), and is still kinda scary. (this one reveals how much $3,000/month is my comfort zone)

 

[Ubermensch]

Find something to sell, and sell A LOT of it to businesses and commercial buildings.

Thread. Over.

Ubermensch out.

 

[AndrewNC]

a part of myself can't help but think "I can't believe this skinny little nerd is a multi-millionaire.. all he did was code a website" (aka he's not manly enough)

What would you say to a skinny little nerd who you are helping when it comes to having success with women?

WOW.. thanks so much for sharing this!! This is the exact type of stuff I wanted to see! I went through your questions, I can briefly feel like I've tripled my income and I can see a few paths that can make it happen, but quickly the feeling subsides and I feel like it's more likely not going to happen, like I will lose focus and/or sabotage my success in some other way. This amazing exercise has uncovered a few of my blocks more clearly.. I've noticed these before briefly but never took the time to write them out / share them with others..

I know they logically make zero sense, but I'm just sharing what I feel emotionally from time to time.

Here are a few examples...

"Do you REALLY think it's possible to make so much money doing something you love?"
My family is filled with men that worked physical labor jobs. For example, my grandfather busted his a$$ his entire life doing something he hated to just make enough to support his family. Now in comparison, I'm getting paid way more to walk around the city and talk with guys, which is 100% fun for me, I'm one of the lucky people that truly loves what he does. I know logically my advice is changing their lives, etc but in comparison, I feel a degree of guilt for "having it so easy". Which brings me to another negative belief that comes up...

A "real man" busts his a$$, just to get by with money.
I believe this is the unspoken blueprint for "being a man" I picked up from my family. Men in my family are quick to dismiss/make fun of guys that have office jobs, etc. as weak/not manly. They are also quick to make fun/criticize/dismiss rich people.. "he must be a scam artist", "he must have inherited it from his family", "he's ripping people off". I know logically these make zero sense, but I still FEEL them from time to time. I guess it's a human ego thing to look for ways to justify why others have achieved something but you haven't. I look at founders of successful startups and many times I'm motivated immensely by their stories, but then a part of myself can't help but think "I can't believe this skinny little nerd is a multi-millionaire.. all he did was code a website" (aka he's not manly enough). Of course this is not what I believe at all, I understand coding is very complex, and making any website successful is super impressive feat, but I do FEEL it for a few seconds.

I know these may sound stupid and have no logic behind them.. I'm just sharing in case other people are being held back by these types of beliefs and we can help each other shatter them and move forward to greater success!

I'm now working on counter-balancing these negative beliefs with empowering ones.. for example:

"a 'real man' busts his a$$ to make money" gets replaced with "a 'real man' takes control of his financial life and leverages the internet to skyrocket his income." & "Any guy that works hard AND struggles with money is just incompetent"

"Do you really think it's possible to make so much money doing what you love?" gets replaced with "Serve millions. Make millions", "It doesn't matter if you love it or not, if it's valuable to others and you scale it on the internet, you will make tons of money".

Thoughts/Suggestions?

All too often we want to pile up positive reframes and affirmations on top of what's there - But that is like taking a pile of dog shit, covering it in frosting and calling it a cupcake.

• For the feeling going away after a few seconds- Do the EFT on that and it releases a negative emotion.
• Another tool for releasing negative emotions is Timeline Therapy - Tad James wrote a book on it and that is where I started to learn it from.

Both techniques release the negative emotions.

As far as the other things you said - you logically (consciously) know its a bunch of BS - but the real change happens in the unconscious mind, because that is where these beliefs are stored.

I'll shoot you a PM for the rest of what I'll say

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

I'm glad you stepped up and were willing to be a little vulnerable here.

So it's clear now why you haven't hit the next level, right?

But from here the challenge is that more knowledge is not going to change these patterns.

There's nothing I can really say or teach you that will get you to just switch a habit unless you have some serious leverage to do so.

If you imagine the patterns or habits of your fear of rejection, fear of losing your masculinity, the habitual pattern of not believing it's possible, the fear of success, etc. -- if you imagine these things as a CD, they are something that play over and over again.

If you put one little scratch in the CD, it might skip but it will go back to running the same exact pattern -- and nothing changes.

That's where we usually try to get you to do something you've never done before. Something that will get you to say "holy shit, if I can do THIS I can do anything!" Skydiving, walking on fire, bungee jumping -- hell, you do the same thing (consciously or unconsciously) getting men to approach women.

When you have a guy who's deathly afraid of rejection go up to a girl and she actually RESPONDS it's a large pattern interrupt. They might say "holy shit, she actually talked to me!"

It just put a giant scratch in their life's "CD" and sometimes one deep gouge is all it takes to get someone to make a major change in their life... but MOST of the time it will take several deep gouges, many times, over and over, to make a real change.

Following me so far?

Every belief we have is held up by dozens of little references or if you imagine a table -- the top is the belief, and every reference is a leg holding it up.

"I could never make that kind of money because of where I grew up."
"I never saw anyone in my family ever make that kind of money."
"No one from my neighborhood ever made it out of that neighborhood."
"The only person who made that kind of money on our block sold drugs."

You see how quickly these references build into a belief that becomes a glass ceiling on your income.

And it becomes even stronger when your life's values supports one of those references.

If you have a strong moral value that says "I would never sell drugs."

... and one of your references tells you the only way you could make more money is if you sold drugs -- you're quickly going to associate making money to being a bad thing.

Now none of us here would ever make these associations so quickly... but I'm sure we all know at least ONE person who has, right? /sarcasm

It's very clear you are associating that making MORE money would be painful in many ways including the judgment of your family and friends, your own identity of who you would be as a person if you made that money, and clearly dozens more.

And that's normal. It's never any ONE reason that holds up a belief -- it's dozens of stacked things that create a strong belief or what we call a conviction.

But that's a story for another time...

If you'd like to earn more money (and this goes for many of you reading this in the same boat as our young hero here), you've already read the book, you know what you SHOULD do... but you gotta get real and deal with your internal shit that's going on.

Here's a simple 3 step process that will change things around for you (if you want to):

1. Recognize the pattern/habit
2. Interrupt it when it's happening
3. Immediately do the thing you WANT to install as the new habit

Sure it's a little more complex than that but you don't need to understand everything about electricity to turn the lights on.

For those of your viewers lurking at home, and anyone else trying to hit that next level of income but haven't been able to, I suggest you write out your own beliefs and thoughts on these sentences but don't stop at 3 -- dig deep and figure out what's really holding you back.

 

[snowbank]

I honestly feel I'm one of the best coaches in the world at what I do.

If this is actually true all you'd need is the marketing piece. Invest time and/or money in crushing the marketing end/finding someone to crush it for you. One of two things will happen:

1. You'll find out you were right, and your income will soar.

2. You'll find out you were wrong, so that you can improve.

Nothing else will happen.


Today I did a call with an 18 year old kid about a project I'm doing. He charges $750/day. Why did I call him? He's insanely good at what he does. He had the issue you claim to have- he is very talented but no one knew of him. So he went and did work for some people with big platforms. That solved the marketing piece for him and now he's charging $750/day.

Step 1: value

Step 2: marketing

Don't overcomplicate the game. Everything else is noise until these are solved.

 

[Fox]

Some great posts in here. For reference this is the most expensive dating product I know of - Project Rockstar.

 

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[ModernAlpha]

Thanks to everyone who responded so far!! So much value on this great forum! I'll be re-reading and seriously considering everything shared here so far.

 

[ModernAlpha]

This thread has helped me realize another dynamic:

I'm confident with coaching guys in person.. what I mean is that I have plenty of reference experiences that "I'm great at it".

But I'm NOT confident when it comes to making money online.

My goal is actually NOT to increase my coaching rate to $500/hour and make $10,000/month from in person coaching (which would just keep me stuck in NYC when I prefer to travel), but instead to build my DIGITAL income to $10,000+/month. In a way that does not directly trade my time.

This way I have time freedom, location freedom, and money freedom. I call this the Freedom Trifecta.

Right now I have time and location freedom. I'm just lacking on the money freedom.

So really my negative money beliefs are holding me back more with digital income.. "Can I really make that much money online without trading my time?" Again, logically I know it's very possible and people are doing it everyday. But emotionally, it just feels out of reach, or if I picture having it already achieved, it still feels unbelievable on some level. Like WHOA my life would be better that 99.999% of people that I know. Am I really that ONE out of the many that can do it? Just writing this and thinking about it I feel: Minor feelings of guilt, fear of major change to lifestyle.. wow that one sounds weird but yeah its true.. even though I'd prefer to make $10k/month online, I'm not fully comfortable with that much yet, I'm comfortable with what I'm earning.

I have a few projects that make some money online: I manage online dating accounts, two online courses, and an ebook (have definitely not put effort into marketing it properly).

So I notice plenty of procrastination and self-limiting beliefs internally when it comes specifically to making money online.. especially in ways that does not trade my time for money.

With all this being said, and all the great advice above, I think it's time to focus on my digital income, set specific goals with a daily action plan/calendar to make it happen, and start a progress thread on this forum.. focusing on my digital income journey to $10,000+/month.

 

[Growth & Learn]

I don't know how you're doing your lead generation currently but one thing I saw that needed work on your site. You didn't really tell me that much about you. What differentiates you? Why should someone work with you as opposed to "x".

Position. Position. Position.

 

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[ModernAlpha]

I don't know how you're doing your lead generation currently but one thing I saw that needed work on your site. You didn't really tell me that much about you. What differentiates you? Why should someone work with you as opposed to "x".

Position. Position. Position.

Thanks for the input.

Edited by Vigilsnte : links removed

 

[samuraijack]

Hey OP,

I am from NYC and also in the PUA community here. Never heard of you though! Instructors like you said will always trade time for money, that's why they are all moving toward digital products.

RSD with their hot seat at home, Julien's tengame, Alex Social's NYRNEonline etc...

I currently subscribe to a PUA instructor from las vegas. Semi well known. He charges $30 a month and provides the subscriber with a few videos (infields, theory, and exercises) once every month. His original USP (from when he built is following) was that his infields were uncut, from beginning to end, open to close (or sometimes just the pull). TBH im thinking about unsubscribing soon, but its so cheap that I could leave it there and forget it.

Also he offers skype coaching at around $100/hour. Still trading time for money but this is now location independent.

I would say, just my personal opinion, if you launch a digital product. It should not just be your perspective of game and how you teach it but something thats missing in the market that people want.

Here's an example of something I want. I watched a video from the same instructor I mentioned above from las vegas. In one video he shows a student getting rejected, and tells him on the spot what exactly he did wrong. I think there is not enough of those real examples that people go through.

Hope this helps in some way! Also if I run into you in a club here I am going to ask for a free fastlane discount on your bootcamp haha.

 

[ModernAlpha]

Hey OP,

I am from NYC and also in the PUA community here. Never heard of you though! Instructors like you said will always trade time for money, that's why they are all moving toward digital products.

RSD with their hot seat at home, Julien's tengame, Alex Social's NYRNEonline etc...

I currently subscribe to a PUA instructor from las vegas. Semi well known. He charges $30 a month and provides the subscriber with a few videos (infields, theory, and exercises) once every month. His original USP (from when he built is following) was that his infields were uncut, from beginning to end, open to close (or sometimes just the pull). TBH im thinking about unsubscribing soon, but its so cheap that I could leave it there and forget it.

Also he offers skype coaching at around $100/hour. Still trading time for money but this is now location independent.

I would say, just my personal opinion, if you launch a digital product. It should not just be your perspective of game and how you teach it but something thats missing in the market that people want.

Here's an example of something I want. I watched a video from the same instructor I mentioned above from las vegas. In one video he shows a student getting rejected, and tells him on the spot what exactly he did wrong. I think there is not enough of those real examples that people go through.

Hope this helps in some way! Also if I run into you in a club here I am going to ask for a free fastlane discount on your bootcamp haha.

Thanks for the input! I don't do any nightlife stuff, I stick with daygame and online dating.

Edited by Vigilante : Your last couple of posts have included links that were removed. This is not going to turn into an ad for your services and we are not your recruiting grounds. Don't turn this into spam or it will be deleted.

 

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[Devin Out]

"If I had $1,000,000 cash today people would think ___________ about me."

1. I'm lucky (code word for "he doesn't deserve that")
2. Family/friends would be intimidated by/ uncomfortable with my success. They would still love me but there would be an "elephant in the room" because of the money gap between us.
3. Look at me as "less manly" because I'm not struggling to get by. (as referenced in my posts above)

Is there something blocking you from picturing your ideal life of having $1,000,000 without all of those limiting beliefs? Imagine for a second having $1,000,000 AND people didn't view you as if you got lucky, AND your family/friends were not intimidated by you, AND people didn't look at you as if you were less manly...

But instead, think about what life would feel like if people viewed you as -

• Someone who has worked hard for their money
• Someone who is not intimidating but has an abundance of advice and wisdom to offer
• Someone who is respected as a man for supporting himself and others

- How long can you hold that image? What is stopping you from becoming this person?

Here in the fastlane, we are a special breed. We have the ability to create our reality from simply our thoughts alone, an innate skill developed over our time here. This is both a blessing and a curse as one can not turn off his or her ability. It is constantly shaping reality and forming the future based off of the thoughts we have. Because it is always active, we must choose wisely on how we use this ability. It can be used to make the biggest dreams come true (the special ability of manifestation knows no limits), however it can also make one's biggest fears their reality. So choose wisely in what you think, shed the limiting beliefs, and become the person you have always wanted to become.

If people looked at you in the ways you fear when you earned $1,000,000 - it would only be because YOU ARE that way, which you aren't. So why hold onto the silly connotation that they might look at you this way?

 

[ModernAlpha]

Is there something blocking you from picturing your ideal life of having $1,000,000 without all of those limiting beliefs? Imagine for a second having $1,000,000 AND people didn't view you as if you got lucky, AND your family/friends were not intimidated by you, AND people didn't look at you as if you were less manly...

But instead, think about what life would feel like if people viewed you as -

• Someone who has worked hard for their money
• Someone who is not intimidating but has an abundance of advice and wisdom to offer
• Someone who is respected as a man for supporting himself and others

- How long can you hold that image? What is stopping you from becoming this person?

Here in the fastlane, we are a special breed. We have the ability to create our reality from simply our thoughts alone, an innate skill developed over our time here. This is both a blessing and a curse as one can not turn off his or her ability. It is constantly shaping reality and forming the future based off of the thoughts we have. Because it is always active, we must choose wisely on how we use this ability. It can be used to make the biggest dreams come true (the special ability of manifestation knows no limits), however it can also make one's biggest fears their reality. So choose wisely in what you think, shed the limiting beliefs, and become the person you have always wanted to become.

If people looked at you in the ways you fear when you earned $1,000,000 - it would only be because YOU ARE that way, which you aren't. So why hold onto the silly connotation that they might look at you this way?

Thanks for the help. I appreciate the suggestions. Some great points!

I can visualize pretty much anything for a short period of time. I can even imagine what it would feel like. But it doesn't really "feel real" if that makes any sense.

 

[RahKnee]

OP, have you considered some type of vetting process to get guys to work for you? Maybe former students who took what you taught them to heart and really learned. Send them out on low level assignments and pay them a third of what you are charging. Get 5 guys doing this for you, and you're on your way.

 

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[RahKnee]

Hell, why stop there? Train some guys you can trust and send them out to open franchises in other cities.

 

[ModernAlpha]

Thanks for the suggestions. I've thought of this before. It's possible. That being said, I see it as quite a challenge to attempt this and maintain the quality of my personal instruction. I feel like I'm in the self-employed / small business owner "trap" (with personal coaching, not my internet stuff)..

I do 100% of my coaching myself. I'm awesome at it, and all my clients want to work with ME. I AM my business. I get a lot of word of mouth referrals, etc. So like I said, it's not impossible, but training others brings in a whole new level of issues to consider and huge time commitment to training, managing, and ensuring standards of quality remain the same.

BTW, I like the "get 5 guys to do this for you" concept, in theory it paints a motivating picture. I just know turning it into a reality will require more effort than I'm willing to put towards that now...

I feel instead of expanding my in-person coaching, my time is better spent shifting focus to digital coaching (monthly membership) and my online dating management service. These can be done worldwide, these can scale, etc.