How to recover after life beats the shit outta you?

[thunder_god]

Hi guys, I just registered and found this forum after spending about 1.5 weeks reading about how to start my own business and entrepreneurship.

Unfortunately due to a number of reasons including medical and personal I had to drop out of my graduate program which I busted my a$$ to get into. I now have a pretty useless undergraduate degree and a 2 year gap on my resume with little work experience in my field of studies. I've been trying to get a job for months now in my field of study and also in unrelated fields with no avail. I even considered just taking a year to teach in China so that I could at least pay off some of my student loans and also do private tutoring on the side or an internship at a company to gain work experience and develop a new skillset while I teach in China, but unfortunately I've had recruiters tell me no school's want me because of my Asian face. Hearing that kind of stung a bit. I've only been offered potential teaching jobs in cities that most teacher's don't want to teach in for a measly salary. I have a large sum of student loans that I will need to start repaying back in about 6 months while interest is accruing right now. My room mate tried to manipulate me and get me to move out prematurely out of my lease because he wants to live with his brother and my lease is up at the end of September. My parents don't know about my current situation and would undoubtedly freak out, cut me off, and disown me if they found out and me ending up on the streets is a possibility.

I also live in the second most expensive city in Canada and rent is outrageous here. I've been going to the employment services centre almost everyday having the staff their help me out but they told me its just that the economy isn't good right now and that the competition is fierce and there's not a lot I can do. The only job I've managed to get so far is an online teaching job, however its paid by the minute and I don't have regular students, so far I've only made like $165 for 2 weeks worth of work which I can't survive on but its better then nothing. After continued failed attempts at trying to get a job here at home and being depressed for months, I decided to take matters into my own hands recently and learn how to create a business. I started reading blogs like location180 and started learning wordpress. I've created my first blog as a sort of testing/training ground and now I'm trying to decide how to take things to the next level. I'm completely new to all of this and it feels like I'm a lost puppy. It would helpful is I could get some guidance.


It seems copywriting and SEO writing is the next stage of skills development from what I have been reading. Once I make a little more money I'm hoping to create another blog and pay to host it on bluehost or something so that I can create a much better looking website as well as utilize affiliate marketing or something.

I'm pretty much at an all time low right in my life. Last year I got strung along and played hard by a chick in my class and I ended up finding out she was screwing multiple guys behind my back and that crap stung like a bitch, but I worked hard on myself and came back stronger, but it just seems life keeps on kicking the shit out of me no matter what. I keep on facing challenge and obstacles one after another and I'm really lost right now. My game plan at the moment is if I can't get a teaching gig in a city in China that I think I can live in and tolerate I will just accept a teaching job in a less desirable city and then when I get off of work, I would work on my business during my free time. I don't think getting a job here at home is very feasible as with the cost of living I wouldn't be able to save much of anything and it would take me 5+ years to pay off my student loans. Since I've started experiencing all these things happening in my life and me attempting to rectify my problems, I've noticed I've gotten a lot of haters and critics including really close friends. I seem to hear a lot of people tell me I can't do this or that. My best friend told me that I would never be able to have a successful business and doubted my ability. Several others just laughed and joked about my current situation. These were the same people who were laughing at my misfortunes last year regarding my dating situation and when I decided to do something about it and started getting some success and better results then them, they started verbally trying to put me down and pretty much crap all over my efforts. Like for example, I managed to go out with a model on my solo trip to Europe this year and as soon as I told my best friend, he immediately said "she's probably a gold digger and not interested in you". It seems as soon as I decided to make changes to my life, everyone I knew started getting jealous or hating on me for no reason whatsoever.

I'm sure a lot of forum members here have been through similar situations or situations even worse then mines, so I'm wondering what you guys did to get out of this hole and end up being really successful entrepreneurs?

 

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[tafy]

Use your haters to be your motivators. Don't listen to them and make yourself prove them wrong.

I had my own brother and mother recently as a few weeks ago say I was going to fail and waste all my money on my startup. They brought up the subject, I had to defend my position and basically tell them that I will prove them wrong.

You need to get better friends, go find some startups to work for, go to the tech co working spaces and ask around.

 

[jason91]

Hi guys, I just registered and found this forum after spending about 1.5 weeks reading about how to start my own business and entrepreneurship.

Unfortunately due to a number of reasons including medical and personal I had to drop out of my graduate program which I busted my a$$ to get into. I now have a pretty useless undergraduate degree and a 2 year gap on my resume with little work experience in my field of studies. I've been trying to get a job for months now in my field of study and also in unrelated fields with no avail. I even considered just taking a year to teach in China so that I could at least pay off some of my student loans and also do private tutoring on the side or an internship at a company to gain work experience and develop a new skillset while I teach in China, but unfortunately I've had recruiters tell me no school's want me because of my Asian face. Hearing that kind of stung a bit. I've only been offered potential teaching jobs in cities that most teacher's don't want to teach in for a measly salary. I have a large sum of student loans that I will need to start repaying back in about 6 months while interest is accruing right now. My room mate tried to manipulate me and get me to move out prematurely out of my lease because he wants to live with his brother and my lease is up at the end of September. My parents don't know about my current situation and would undoubtedly freak out, cut me off, and disown me if they found out and me ending up on the streets is a possibility.

I also live in the second most expensive city in Canada and rent is outrageous here. I've been going to the employment services centre almost everyday having the staff their help me out but they told me its just that the economy isn't good right now and that the competition is fierce and there's not a lot I can do. The only job I've managed to get so far is an online teaching job, however its paid by the minute and I don't have regular students, so far I've only made like $165 for 2 weeks worth of work which I can't survive on but its better then nothing. After continued failed attempts at trying to get a job here at home and being depressed for months, I decided to take matters into my own hands recently and learn how to create a business. I started reading blogs like location180 and started learning wordpress. I've created my first blog as a sort of testing/training ground and now I'm trying to decide how to take things to the next level. I'm completely new to all of this and it feels like I'm a lost puppy. It would helpful is I could get some guidance.

Here is a link to my blog that I just created a few days ago:
https://cbctutoringchronicles.wordpress.com/

It seems copywriting and SEO writing is the next stage of skills development from what I have been reading. Once I make a little more money I'm hoping to create another blog and pay to host it on bluehost or something so that I can create a much better looking website as well as utilize affiliate marketing or something.

I'm pretty much at an all time low right in my life. Last year I got strung along and played hard by a chick in my class and I ended up finding out she was screwing multiple guys behind my back and that crap stung like a bitch, but I worked hard on myself and came back stronger, but it just seems life keeps on kicking the shit out of me no matter what. I keep on facing challenge and obstacles one after another and I'm really lost right now. My game plan at the moment is if I can't get a teaching gig in a city in China that I think I can live in and tolerate I will just accept a teaching job in a less desirable city and then when I get off of work, I would work on my business during my free time. I don't think getting a job here at home is very feasible as with the cost of living I wouldn't be able to save much of anything and it would take me 5+ years to pay off my student loans. Since I've started experiencing all these things happening in my life and me attempting to rectify my problems, I've noticed I've gotten a lot of haters and critics including really close friends. I seem to hear a lot of people tell me I can't do this or that. My best friend told me that I would never be able to have a successful business and doubted my ability. Several others just laughed and joked about my current situation. These were the same people who were laughing at my misfortunes last year regarding my dating situation and when I decided to do something about it and started getting some success and better results then them, they started verbally trying to put me down and pretty much crap all over my efforts. Like for example, I managed to go out with a model on my solo trip to Europe this year and as soon as I told my best friend, he immediately said "she's probably a gold digger and not interested in you". It seems as soon as I decided to make changes to my life, everyone I knew started getting jealous or hating on me for no reason whatsoever.

I'm sure a lot of forum members here have been through similar situations or situations even worse then mines, so I'm wondering what you guys did to get out of this hole and end up being really successful entrepreneurs?

Man, I don't know. I'm me, you're you, we're different. No 1 size fits all solution.

But start with eliminating all the negative thoughts and cry baby thoughts. I used to blame so many things on external circumstances... but realize you simply can't control everything that happens outside of you. You MUST control what you do and think proactively, not reactively. Your friends are probably right about your ability. I had a friend, and family that massively doubted me when I first started, and guess what - it took me a year to learn I didn't know what the heck I was doing. But then again, I would've done the same thing because I learned so much from it.

The truth is, you (right now) do not know what it takes to operate a successful business. That is the honest truth. Doesn't mean you CAN'T eventually. It will take learning and experience.

The world cares not much for your crap - it cares about your value. What can you do for the world? Increase what you can do for others and life will generally reward you. You are only one person in billions of people. I hate to tell you this, but most people don't care about you. They're not jealous of you, and they're not hating on you. They're probably unfamiliar with what you're doing so they naturally react based on their own understanding of the situation. Them telling you crap and what not is just how they react based on their conditioning. Just like my post is based on my own experiences and understanding of your situation.

Once again, the world doesn't give a crap about your ambitions, your going to get rich blah blah blah. BUT, if whatever you do or create betters the living condition of billions, and not many others are providing it, you are going to be a very important and rich person.

I guess the whole point of my post is:

Nobody gives a crap about you, Be a provider of value and they will

 

[Digamma]

Start freelancing on Fiverr and ODesk, do all you are able to do. Bust your a$$. Get out of the hole. Then grow from there.

As for the people, cut them out of your life. They're garbage and they will suck every inch of soul you have.
You don't even need friends - you're broke, you need to work from dawn to dusk and then some more.

 

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[tafy]

Some good advice here, Its funny when I read your post I was thinking that it wasn't so bad.

I think you need to change your mindset to be more proactive, I would recommend listening to think and grow rich on youtube.

 

[RMarques]

Your struggles are more valuable than you think.
The hard times will make you successful.
Never forget that.

 

[Mr. L]

Try freelancing.

Here are a few threads that could help you.

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...ctionable-collection-of-golden-nuggets.61365/

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...ith-no-degree-no-feedback-no-portfolio.58837/

You live in Canada, and a person who lives in the Americas gets hired a lot easier than someone from India for example. Use it to your advantage.

 

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[luniac]

Hi guys, I just registered and found this forum after spending about 1.5 weeks reading about how to start my own business and entrepreneurship.

Unfortunately due to a number of reasons including medical and personal I had to drop out of my graduate program which I busted my a$$ to get into. I now have a pretty useless undergraduate degree and a 2 year gap on my resume with little work experience in my field of studies. I've been trying to get a job for months now in my field of study and also in unrelated fields with no avail. I even considered just taking a year to teach in China so that I could at least pay off some of my student loans and also do private tutoring on the side or an internship at a company to gain work experience and develop a new skillset while I teach in China, but unfortunately I've had recruiters tell me no school's want me because of my Asian face. Hearing that kind of stung a bit. I've only been offered potential teaching jobs in cities that most teacher's don't want to teach in for a measly salary. I have a large sum of student loans that I will need to start repaying back in about 6 months while interest is accruing right now. My room mate tried to manipulate me and get me to move out prematurely out of my lease because he wants to live with his brother and my lease is up at the end of September. My parents don't know about my current situation and would undoubtedly freak out, cut me off, and disown me if they found out and me ending up on the streets is a possibility.

I also live in the second most expensive city in Canada and rent is outrageous here. I've been going to the employment services centre almost everyday having the staff their help me out but they told me its just that the economy isn't good right now and that the competition is fierce and there's not a lot I can do. The only job I've managed to get so far is an online teaching job, however its paid by the minute and I don't have regular students, so far I've only made like $165 for 2 weeks worth of work which I can't survive on but its better then nothing. After continued failed attempts at trying to get a job here at home and being depressed for months, I decided to take matters into my own hands recently and learn how to create a business. I started reading blogs like location180 and started learning wordpress. I've created my first blog as a sort of testing/training ground and now I'm trying to decide how to take things to the next level. I'm completely new to all of this and it feels like I'm a lost puppy. It would helpful is I could get some guidance.

Here is a link to my blog that I just created a few days ago:
https://cbctutoringchronicles.wordpress.com/

It seems copywriting and SEO writing is the next stage of skills development from what I have been reading. Once I make a little more money I'm hoping to create another blog and pay to host it on bluehost or something so that I can create a much better looking website as well as utilize affiliate marketing or something.

I'm pretty much at an all time low right in my life. Last year I got strung along and played hard by a chick in my class and I ended up finding out she was screwing multiple guys behind my back and that crap stung like a bitch, but I worked hard on myself and came back stronger, but it just seems life keeps on kicking the shit out of me no matter what. I keep on facing challenge and obstacles one after another and I'm really lost right now. My game plan at the moment is if I can't get a teaching gig in a city in China that I think I can live in and tolerate I will just accept a teaching job in a less desirable city and then when I get off of work, I would work on my business during my free time. I don't think getting a job here at home is very feasible as with the cost of living I wouldn't be able to save much of anything and it would take me 5+ years to pay off my student loans. Since I've started experiencing all these things happening in my life and me attempting to rectify my problems, I've noticed I've gotten a lot of haters and critics including really close friends. I seem to hear a lot of people tell me I can't do this or that. My best friend told me that I would never be able to have a successful business and doubted my ability. Several others just laughed and joked about my current situation. These were the same people who were laughing at my misfortunes last year regarding my dating situation and when I decided to do something about it and started getting some success and better results then them, they started verbally trying to put me down and pretty much crap all over my efforts. Like for example, I managed to go out with a model on my solo trip to Europe this year and as soon as I told my best friend, he immediately said "she's probably a gold digger and not interested in you". It seems as soon as I decided to make changes to my life, everyone I knew started getting jealous or hating on me for no reason whatsoever.

I'm sure a lot of forum members here have been through similar situations or situations even worse then mines, so I'm wondering what you guys did to get out of this hole and end up being really successful entrepreneurs?

pics of model or it didn't happen!

 

[Roland]

I might go against some people's opinion here but my view is that in the situation you are in, reading is a waste of time. You already read enough stuff to get started.
Do whatever you can to keep you going, go wash dishes in a restaurant, clean floors, baby sit... whatever, this will enable you to keep paying your rent and buying your food.
Once you have secured those basics then you can start thinking about what the next step is. Then it could be good to start offering gigs online, launching your own thing etc... but for the moment, you have to be able to survive before you can start thinking of making money.

I have been in your situation before so I can relate to what you are going through but what I can tell you is the following: stop looking at what could have been and start acting on what can be done, step by step you will grow from there. In the situation you are in, you only have two solutions: either you sit on the sidewalk, start crying and see if someone comes to help you or you stand up again and fight for what you want. Believe me the second option is much more likely to take you where you want to be.

You have a few difficult moments ahead of you still but if you make the decision today that you are taking the first step towards what you want to achieve then you are already moving... and that's all that matters.

Keep us posted.

 

[Stubbers]

Onwards and upwards ... Go to thewindowcleaningstore.com in Toronto and buy a bucket & squeegee, buy his DVD teaching how to clean windows and get out there and knock on some doors ... You'll make more than $165 a day.

I'd drop your circle of friends too

 

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[Mattie]

There are a zillion people in the same situation right now as you. Really mental toughness and learning to act versus thinking about what everyone else is doing is your goal. Staying focused and turning off the noise of negative people. It's not always nice walking away from family and friends if they are just emotional vampires, and other families that may be supportive. Obstacles and bullies will always be presenting themselves, and the more you explain yourself and think you need to answer them, is only feeding them, and getting tangled up in their drama.

I'm very Infjish in personality type, and I suppose that's about as empathetic, compassionate, and understanding as you can get. And fortunately, it's like they said. The world doesn't care about your morals, values, thoughts, feelings, and who you are. And the best thing you can do is learn that and armor yourself and get mental toughness, because otherwise you'll be knocked down on you butt and sabotaged a million times.

I have a son who is an Infp, and yesterday someone posted this guy, Dan Pena. I sent my son this video and told him to watch this guy, and understand he has to learn to meditate and regulate his emotions, feelings, and discipline himself enough not to take this personally or react too it. And I suppose other people would think I was nuts telling him that. I don't like people like this and they're the total opposite of me. I'm not comfortable with them, but I'll get myself familiar with it, because in business I have to deal with it, and you still can learn something from people like this.

They serve there purpose in this world and cut throat, just as much as my personality type does in different ways. I think if you know thyself well enough and what you're weaknesses are, you make them you're strengths and not allow them to sabotage your life. I have to override my emotions, feelings, and thoughts sometimes and just act, instead of thinking about it.

I think you learn in certain places you have to make certain choices. In the business world and even the job world you are in competition, so it is all about personality and perfection. Presentation, communication skills, performance, standing under pressure, and taking action. Fortunately, I like to be delusional sometimes and think maybe we could be a bit nicer, but fortunately, I don't see it much happening out there. So, you can allow it to pull you down in life, or do what you can to stay positive and upbeat, use mental toughness, meditation, NLP, or what ever works for you.

You also have to remember the social classes have different mindsets, and so do alcoholics and codependents, and religious/spiritual, and other groups and cultures. Who you hang around does have a affect on whether you will succeed or not. What you do with your time every day to maintain your mentality determines your success. Your habits determine your success. Are you serious enough to change your life? How bad do you want it? And what are you going to do about it? No one else is going to save you or fix your circumstances.

It's a lot of work, and like the others have said, process, experience, and learning and growing. Making mistakes. Picking yourself up and motivating yourself.

 

[Vigilante]

Hi guys, I just registered and found this forum after spending about 1.5 weeks reading about how to start my own business and entrepreneurship.

Unfortunately due to a number of reasons including medical and personal I had to drop out of my graduate program which I busted my a$$ to get into. I now have a pretty useless undergraduate degree and a 2 year gap on my resume with little work experience in my field of studies. I've been trying to get a job for months now in my field of study and also in unrelated fields with no avail. I even considered just taking a year to teach in China so that I could at least pay off some of my student loans and also do private tutoring on the side or an internship at a company to gain work experience and develop a new skillset while I teach in China, but unfortunately I've had recruiters tell me no school's want me because of my Asian face. Hearing that kind of stung a bit. I've only been offered potential teaching jobs in cities that most teacher's don't want to teach in for a measly salary. I have a large sum of student loans that I will need to start repaying back in about 6 months while interest is accruing right now. My room mate tried to manipulate me and get me to move out prematurely out of my lease because he wants to live with his brother and my lease is up at the end of September. My parents don't know about my current situation and would undoubtedly freak out, cut me off, and disown me if they found out and me ending up on the streets is a possibility.

I also live in the second most expensive city in Canada and rent is outrageous here. I've been going to the employment services centre almost everyday having the staff their help me out but they told me its just that the economy isn't good right now and that the competition is fierce and there's not a lot I can do. The only job I've managed to get so far is an online teaching job, however its paid by the minute and I don't have regular students, so far I've only made like $165 for 2 weeks worth of work which I can't survive on but its better then nothing. After continued failed attempts at trying to get a job here at home and being depressed for months, I decided to take matters into my own hands recently and learn how to create a business. I started reading blogs like location180 and started learning wordpress. I've created my first blog as a sort of testing/training ground and now I'm trying to decide how to take things to the next level. I'm completely new to all of this and it feels like I'm a lost puppy. It would helpful is I could get some guidance.

Here is a link to my blog that I just created a few days ago:
https://cbctutoringchronicles.wordpress.com/

It seems copywriting and SEO writing is the next stage of skills development from what I have been reading. Once I make a little more money I'm hoping to create another blog and pay to host it on bluehost or something so that I can create a much better looking website as well as utilize affiliate marketing or something.

I'm pretty much at an all time low right in my life. Last year I got strung along and played hard by a chick in my class and I ended up finding out she was screwing multiple guys behind my back and that crap stung like a bitch, but I worked hard on myself and came back stronger, but it just seems life keeps on kicking the shit out of me no matter what. I keep on facing challenge and obstacles one after another and I'm really lost right now. My game plan at the moment is if I can't get a teaching gig in a city in China that I think I can live in and tolerate I will just accept a teaching job in a less desirable city and then when I get off of work, I would work on my business during my free time. I don't think getting a job here at home is very feasible as with the cost of living I wouldn't be able to save much of anything and it would take me 5+ years to pay off my student loans. Since I've started experiencing all these things happening in my life and me attempting to rectify my problems, I've noticed I've gotten a lot of haters and critics including really close friends. I seem to hear a lot of people tell me I can't do this or that. My best friend told me that I would never be able to have a successful business and doubted my ability. Several others just laughed and joked about my current situation. These were the same people who were laughing at my misfortunes last year regarding my dating situation and when I decided to do something about it and started getting some success and better results then them, they started verbally trying to put me down and pretty much crap all over my efforts. Like for example, I managed to go out with a model on my solo trip to Europe this year and as soon as I told my best friend, he immediately said "she's probably a gold digger and not interested in you". It seems as soon as I decided to make changes to my life, everyone I knew started getting jealous or hating on me for no reason whatsoever.

I'm sure a lot of forum members here have been through similar situations or situations even worse then mines, so I'm wondering what you guys did to get out of this hole and end up being really successful entrepreneurs?

I did a podcast on this very topic several months ago.

Hope it helps you.

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/m...s/mind-your-business-is-college-the-25644446/

skip to the back half of the podcast, after the college discussion.

For those of you that stumble upon this thread later, this podcast (the back half of it) was probably the best radio we created to date. Hope you get something out of it.

 

[Rawr]

The great part about living in a western world is that we all have insane amount of opportunities in front of us. If you don't see them, start talking to people, ask them for what gigs they know/heard of.

You can go teach English in russia, I think they pay about 2k/month. If really interested I could ask my contact there.

My only advice to you personally is, yeah been there, it sucks, but it is just a chapter. It will go into another chapter If you want to make it, you'll find an opportunity (when you see it) and you'll go full blast. Make sure you learn from people who have done it, so you can see that it's possible and that it's there for you for the taking. People will doubt when you're down, don't listen to them. Those same people change their tunes quick when you're becoming successful. It is possible if you're hungry, and if you believe you deserve it.


4. You have nothing, how would you make $100 a day?
Bootstrap: https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/com...s-guide-to-buying-and-selling-anything.35889/
Online: http://www.selfmadebusinessman.com/2014/03/03/500-ways-to-make-money-online/

 

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[Mattie]

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/m...s/mind-your-business-is-college-the-25644446/

Thanks for sharing your story. Empathy.

 

[Mattie]

Thanks for sharing your story. Empathy.

I should listen to your show more often. lol

 

[Get Right]

When life "beats the shit out of you" it's a sign that you need to toughen up a little. There are bigger plans for you in the future...and you aren't tough enough to handle it.....yet.

Here are the steps to get you back "kicking the shit out of life".

1. Realize you are normal. Life "shits" on everybody. Don't believe me? Get on any bus and listen to people for 15 minutes.
2. Learn that you eat what you kill. Nobody is going to give you anything.
3. Go make a job today. Not get a job, remember you are in control. You want to get into property maintenance then get a broom and go sweep somebody's sidewalk (forget making money, just do your thing). Wanna' get into auto sales? Go to a dealer and tell him you want to wash his cars....for free. Whatever you do, kick a$$ at it.
4. Make a Win Box. Put your accomplishments here. Even if they are small, just make sure they mean something (to you). Here is mine:

5. Go thank somebody for something. Doesn't matter who or what.
6. Get rid of somebody that brings you down.
7. Turn off social media unless you are advertising something.
8. Do something good for yourself every day (same thing every day). Ex - run around the block, drink a glass of water, talk to somebody new.
9. Try to flip something on craigslist. (Search the forum if you need help with this)
10. Volunteer at a charity of your choice. Believe it or not, life "shits" on some people harder than you.

If you read this far then here is me thanking you! I wrote this for myself but thought you might enjoy seeing something written from a different perspective. Good luck and keep us posted

 

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[Bellini]

I did a podcast on this very topic several months ago.

Hope it helps you.

I listened to your podcast @Vigilante . Very touching and inspiring.

I like what you said about scarred skin being stronger than regular skin, and that once you've come through so much turmoil and loss, there is not much you're afraid of anymore.

And thanks for revealing what the legal culprit was in the end! I am now armed with one more piece of valuable information that I needed to be aware of

 

[Rawr]

When life "beats the shit out of you" it's a sign that you need to toughen up a little. There are bigger plans for you in the future...and you aren't tough enough to handle it.....yet.

I heard something about depression recently that I liked, that depression is actually signal that you need to grow - it's telling you 'ok, now is the time for change., and it is A GOOD thing, you just have to listen to it and then do it. Looking back I think that's very true - usually there's been a reason why you feel like crap and there is growth that has to happen for you...and that growth will open the floodgates of new things for you, and more worthwhile living.

 

[Chitown]

I have been in your situation before so I can relate to what you are going through but what I can tell you is the following: stop looking at what could have been and start acting on what can be done, step by step you will grow from there. In the situation you are in, you only have two solutions: either you sit on the sidewalk, start crying and see if someone comes to help you or you stand up again and fight for what you want. Believe me the second option is much more likely to take you where you want to be.

@Roland

That's real talk, right there! I was homeless four years ago. And, man, let me tell you. There were many a night I'd lay on the ground - I slept on a bath towel that covered oil stains on the concrete in a subterranean garage in a building where I previously paid $1,700/month in rent - thinking, "How the F*ck did I get here?"

I knew the answer to that question: I made some bad decisions.

But what got me out of the situation was a network of good friends and taking action, not dwelling on what I did but concentrating on where I wanted to be. One step at a time, one day at a time.

I also learned you can not share information about your adverse circumstances with everyone you call "friend". Some of these motherf--kers are jackals, waiting for an opportune time in which to strike, using the information you shared with them as a weapon.

One guy I did some chauffeuring work for screwed me out of $1,000. He told me to take the $350 he offered or leave it. He knew I was sleeping on my buddys' couch and figured he'd use that knowledge as leverage over me because I needed the money.

I won't go into detail but it took every part of my sinew not to pay this cat a visit at 3 AM with some hardware in hand. It wasn't worth it it, though. Potentially going to jail over that money - even though I earned it, fair and square - would have been disastrous.

I had a family I was separated from - my lady and I agreed that she would take our son and go stay with relatives out of town while I stayed behind to get us back on track - and my main objective was to hustle wherever I could, save the loot and secure another home for my family. Everything else was noise.

It took six months but I got us back together under one roof.

@thunder_god

Keep your business to yourself. Blow those haters the hell out of your life. Get busy hustling - anything within reason to stack some chips. And as for the women, a good female will come along when you least expect it. I met my future wife - and mother of my two sons - while out on a walk one night to clear my head when things were not going well at all in my life.

She stuck with me through all the craziness of the last eight years. And for that I am grateful.

I wish you well.

 

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[Ninjakid]

Not to be insulting, but from the tone of your post, you sound like you're used to letting people push you around, and pitying yourself for your unfortunate situation.

You can indulge in wishful thinking so that you can continue to be your fragile self, or you can become someone who smashing problems in their way like a viking with a broadsword.

Here are some things to do:

Cut your friends out of your life.
They're losers. They enjoy seeing you like this because it makes them feel good about themselves. Delete their numbers, delete them from your social media sites. Don't give them a second chance. Be gone with them.

Tell your parents what's really happening.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with them. But you should man up and be upfront with them about what's happening, and say what you plan to do about it. If they're your typical white, middle-class, suburban Canadian type family, then yeah, they'll probably antsy. But if they're a decent, loving family, they'll understand and be supportive; plus you'll feel better knowing you can be honest with them.

Start freelancing.
You've been studying business for not even two weeks, you're not gonna build a function income stream by the time your money runs out. Hustle hustle hustle. As @Digamma said, you can use Fiverr and oDesk. Craigslist is also an option, as I've gotten many gigs from there. When you're making some money, then you can start to build a business with the purpose of generating passive income.

Stop telling yourself that life is against you, because its not.
Life is returning you what you've put out into the world. Quit making excuses and take responsibility. No one is going to hold your hand and take you to a place of happiness. The people around you would rather throw you down and kick you in the face until you lose your teeth and bleed than offer you a hand. You'll find people who will be your support, but only when you're willing to help yourself. Then those people who are actually a positive influence in your life can be your new friends.

Be willing to do something different.
Dude, going to China could be exciting! It's a unique country full of culture, and living there will give you an opportunity to get out the the comfortable, boring shell which is Canada (I love Canada, but if you live in the city, it's definitely more boring than a lot of other major cities). What do you have that's so important in Canada right now anyway? But even if you don't do that, you're at rock bottom as you say, and if you don't do something drastically different, your life won't change.

As for women, once you make these changes, you'll probably notice that you attract decent, worthwhile women into your life, and you won't get so attached so quickly because you won't need that same sense of comfort. Forget that other bitch, and don't focus too much on women for now. Improve yourself first.

You haven't replied to any of the feedback here, so I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time with you or not. It's all up to you. No one can make your life how you want it to be for you. Hopefully you take the advice you're getting here.

 

[thunder_god]

Use your haters to be your motivators. Don't listen to them and make yourself prove them wrong.

I had my own brother and mother recently as a few weeks ago say I was going to fail and waste all my money on my startup. They brought up the subject, I had to defend my position and basically tell them that I will prove them wrong.

You need to get better friends, go find some startups to work for, go to the tech co working spaces and ask around.

My whole life I've had people doubt me from my parents telling me that they didn't see me with a bright future and that I wouldn't even get into university to people in class calling me stupid. I even had one of my highschool math teachers tell me that I should consider college instead of university because she thought it would be too difficult for me. That's the bullshit that I had to live with my whole life and fight against.

As for my so called friends I only really consider one of them my real friend who is my best friend but as of late he's being hating on me too every since I've had so many drastic things happen during this past year.

 

[thunder_god]

Man, I don't know. I'm me, you're you, we're different. No 1 size fits all solution.

But start with eliminating all the negative thoughts and cry baby thoughts. I used to blame so many things on external circumstances... but realize you simply can't control everything that happens outside of you. You MUST control what you do and think proactively, not reactively. Your friends are probably right about your ability. I had a friend, and family that massively doubted me when I first started, and guess what - it took me a year to learn I didn't know what the heck I was doing. But then again, I would've done the same thing because I learned so much from it.

The truth is, you (right now) do not know what it takes to operate a successful business. That is the honest truth. Doesn't mean you CAN'T eventually. It will take learning and experience.

The world cares not much for your crap - it cares about your value. What can you do for the world? Increase what you can do for others and life will generally reward you. You are only one person in billions of people. I hate to tell you this, but most people don't care about you. They're not jealous of you, and they're not hating on you. They're probably unfamiliar with what you're doing so they naturally react based on their own understanding of the situation. Them telling you crap and what not is just how they react based on their conditioning. Just like my post is based on my own experiences and understanding of your situation.

Once again, the world doesn't give a crap about your ambitions, your going to get rich blah blah blah. BUT, if whatever you do or create betters the living condition of billions, and not many others are providing it, you are going to be a very important and rich person.

I guess the whole point of my post is:

Nobody gives a crap about you, Be a provider of value and they will

Ya I realize I'm in no way shape or form right now to operate a successful business, but I'm looking to learn the skills and get the experience under my belt. I'm not expecting an overnight success story or anything in regards to having a business and I realize it will probably take me years before I will be able to have a successful business.

As for the nothing gives a crap about you comment, I've quickly realized that these past several months. Its like if you were stabbed by someone, your so called friends would not only not help you, but would plunge the knife deeper inside of you. I'm going to have to be the person that saves myself and gets myself out of this situation. Thanks for the tough love.

 

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[thunder_god]

Start freelancing on Fiverr and ODesk, do all you are able to do. Bust your a$$. Get out of the hole. Then grow from there.

As for the people, cut them out of your life. They're garbage and they will suck every inch of soul you have.
You don't even need friends - you're broke, you need to work from dawn to dusk and then some more.

Thanks for the suggestion. I signed up for upworks earlier today and was working on my profile. I'll check out Fiverr and ODesk.
I've been slowly cutting these pieces of shit out of my life over the years, but my best friend keeps on bringing them back in. He says they are friends of convenience. Anyways I stopped hanging with my best friend too for several weeks now after he told me I would not ever be successful and that my idea of teaching English in China to help pay off my student loans was a cop off but that I should instead go look for a minimum wage job here and work my way up over the years.

 

[thunder_god]

I did a podcast on this very topic several months ago.

Hope it helps you.

http://www.twincitiesnewstalk.com/m...s/mind-your-business-is-college-the-25644446/

skip to the back half of the podcast, after the college discussion.

For those of you that stumble upon this thread later, this podcast (the back half of it) was probably the best radio we created to date. Hope you get something out of it.

Thank you Vigilante. I just finished listening to it, very inspiration!

 

[thunder_god]

The great part about living in a western world is that we all have insane amount of opportunities in front of us. If you don't see them, start talking to people, ask them for what gigs they know/heard of.

You can go teach English in russia, I think they pay about 2k/month. If really interested I could ask my contact there.

My only advice to you personally is, yeah been there, it sucks, but it is just a chapter. It will go into another chapter If you want to make it, you'll find an opportunity (when you see it) and you'll go full blast. Make sure you learn from people who have done it, so you can see that it's possible and that it's there for you for the taking. People will doubt when you're down, don't listen to them. Those same people change their tunes quick when you're becoming successful. It is possible if you're hungry, and if you believe you deserve it.


4. You have nothing, how would you make $100 a day?
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Hi Rawr, I actually spend several weeks a few months back looking at teaching in Europe. My best friend once again was putting down my idea saying why would they want to pay you to teach them English, they already speak English in Europe. It kind of pissed me off. Anyways I did find a few school's looking for teachers unfortunately I'm missing the CELTA certification which would run me $2500 and I also lack 2 years of work experience, and the pay was somewhere between under 1k to around $1200 a month. If it weren't for those things, I would have gladly hopped on a plane and teach in Russia.

 

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[thunder_god]

When life "beats the shit out of you" it's a sign that you need to toughen up a little. There are bigger plans for you in the future...and you aren't tough enough to handle it.....yet.

Here are the steps to get you back "kicking the shit out of life".

1. Realize you are normal. Life "shits" on everybody. Don't believe me? Get on any bus and listen to people for 15 minutes.
2. Learn that you eat what you kill. Nobody is going to give you anything.
3. Go make a job today. Not get a job, remember you are in control. You want to get into property maintenance then get a broom and go sweep somebody's sidewalk (forget making money, just do your thing). Wanna' get into auto sales? Go to a dealer and tell him you want to wash his cars....for free. Whatever you do, kick a$$ at it.
4. Make a Win Box. Put your accomplishments here. Even if they are small, just make sure they mean something (to you). Here is mine:

5. Go thank somebody for something. Doesn't matter who or what.
6. Get rid of somebody that brings you down.
7. Turn off social media unless you are advertising something.
8. Do something good for yourself every day (same thing every day). Ex - run around the block, drink a glass of water, talk to somebody new.
9. Try to flip something on craigslist. (Search the forum if you need help with this)
10. Volunteer at a charity of your choice. Believe it or not, life "shits" on some people harder than you.

If you read this far then here is me thanking you! I wrote this for myself but thought you might enjoy seeing something written from a different perspective. Good luck and keep us posted

Thank you!

 

[thunder_god]

@Roland

That's real talk, right there! I was homeless four years ago. And, man, let me tell you. There were many a night I'd lay on the ground - I slept on a bath towel that covered oil stains on the concrete in a subterranean garage in a building where I previously paid $1,700/month in rent - thinking, "How the F*ck did I get here?"

I knew the answer to that question: I made some bad decisions.

But what got me out of the situation was a network of good friends and taking action, not dwelling on what I did but concentrating on where I wanted to be. One step at a time, one day at a time.

I also learned you can not share information about your adverse circumstances with everyone you call "friend". Some of these motherf--kers are jackals, waiting for an opportune time in which to strike, using the information you shared with them as a weapon.

One guy I did some chauffeuring work for screwed me out of $1,000. He told me to take the $350 he offered or leave it. He knew I was sleeping on my buddys' couch and figured he'd use that knowledge as leverage over me because I needed the money.

I won't go into detail but it took every part of my sinew not to pay this cat a visit at 3 AM with some hardware in hand. It wasn't worth it it, though. Potentially going to jail over that money - even though I earned it, fair and square - would have been disastrous.

I had a family I was separated from - my lady and I agreed that she would take our son and go stay with relatives out of town while I stayed behind to get us back on track - and my main objective was to hustle wherever I could, save the loot and secure another home for my family. Everything else was noise.

It took six months but I got us back together under one roof.

@thunder_god

Keep your business to yourself. Blow those haters the hell out of your life. Get busy hustling - anything within reason to stack some chips. And as for the women, a good female will come along when you least expect it. I met met future wife - and mother of my two sons - while out on a walk one night to clear my head when things were not going well at all in my life.

She stuck with me through all the craziness of the last eight years. And for that I am grateful.

I wish you well.

Thanks Chitown

I'm quickly learning to keep my mouth shut around people because people seem to just want to put all your efforts down. As for women, that's not really a priority for me right now, making money and getting myself back on my feet is #1 priority.

 

[Mattie]

Just finished listening to this and thought what he had to say was something most people need to hear.

 

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[thunder_god]

Not to be insulting, but from the tone of your post, you sound like you're used to letting people push you around, and pitying yourself for your unfortunate situation.

You can indulge in wishful thinking so that you can continue to be your fragile self, or you can become someone who smashing problems in their way like a viking with a broadsword.

Here are some things to do:

Cut your friends out of your life.
They're losers. They enjoy seeing you like this because it makes them feel good about themselves. Delete their numbers, delete them from your social media sites. Don't give them a second chance. Be gone with them.

Tell your parents what's really happening.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with them. But you should man up and be upfront with them about what's happening, and say what you plan to do about it. If they're your typical white, middle-class, suburban Canadian type family, then yeah, they'll probably antsy. But if they're a decent, loving family, they'll understand and be supportive; plus you'll feel better knowing you can be honest with them.

Start freelancing.
You've been studying business for not even two weeks, you're not gonna build a function income stream by the time your money runs out. Hustle hustle hustle. As @Digamma said, you can use Fiverr and oDesk. Craigslist is also an option, as I've gotten many gigs from there. When you're making some money, then you can start to build a business with the purpose of generating passive income.

Stop telling yourself that life is against you, because its not.
Life is returning you what you've put out into the world. Quit making excuses and take responsibility. No one is going to hold your hand and take you to a place of happiness. The people around you would rather throw you down and kick you in the face until you lose your teeth and bleed than offer you a hand. You'll find people who will be your support, but only when you're willing to help yourself. Then those people who are actually a positive influence in your life can be your new friends.

Be willing to do something different.
Dude, going to China could be exciting! It's a unique country full of culture, and living there will give you an opportunity to get out the the comfortable, boring shell which is Canada (I love Canada, but if you live in the city, it's definitely more boring than a lot of other major cities). What do you have that's so important in Canada right now anyway? But even if you don't do that, you're at rock bottom as you say, and if you don't do something drastically different, your life won't change.

As for women, once you make these changes, you'll probably notice that you attract decent, worthwhile women into your life, and you won't get so attached so quickly because you won't need that same sense of comfort. Forget that other bitch, and don't focus too much on women for now. Improve yourself first.

You haven't replied to any of the feedback here, so I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time with you or not. It's all up to you. No one can make your life how you want it to be for you. Hopefully you take the advice you're getting here.

Sorry I was at the employment centre earlier today and didn't get a chance to reply back to any of the comments. I'm grateful for the advice that everyone is giving me here. I've learnt very quickly that I'm the only person who can get me out of this mess, no one gives a shit about me so I need to start giving a shit about myself instead and stop relying on others. Even at the employment centre now, I'm realizing its a waste of my time, the staff there don't seem to give a shit about any of the people there looking for help. Its all self directed so I'll probably use my time more efficiently by staying at home and applying to jobs or reading up on how to hustle or something instead of going there unless I need to get my resume or cover letter tuned up for a specific position. I've pretty much cut off most of these so called friends, even my best friend I stopped hanging out with him for over a month now. He still reaches out to me from time to time.

As for my parents, I can't really tell them at the moment. Last year when I went into a major episode of depression and I told my parents that I was getting suicidal thoughts about killing myself, they both told me to go ahead and kill myself. They said see if we care. After that I pretty much stopped sharing anything with them. I've signed up for Fiver and upworks today and will start looking for gigs today. Yah that China teaching job sounds pretty interesting and I think its definitely what I need as it would help clear my head and give me a fresh start. Only problem is trying to get a teaching job in some city that isn't a hick town out in the middle of no where, but I think I might just end up even taking these positions just so I'm not wasting my time doing nothing. You mentioned that I sound like someone who gets pushed around a lot and I'd have to agree, but I'm slowly learning to try and be more assertive. I think the problem was that I have low self esteem from decades of verbal and physical abuse by my parents and also from my social environment.

Women is probably the last thing on my mind right now. I just need to get back on my feet and get some regular income coming in that I can also save to start repaying back my student loans.

 

[Contrarian]

Hey, t_g...

Everything that happens in life will serve you differently depending on your perspective. When shit really hits the fan, you can either let yourself get beaten down by it and defeated, or you can use it as an opportunity to exercise your resolve and willpower. A rite of passage which will serve you well in the future. Conquering adversity will build your character and conviction in yourself, which will improve how people respond to you as well as your own perceptions of yourself. It's a virtuous circle.

Of course it's easy to say and hard to do, but you'll appreciate it later. Just keep asking, "what's the one best thing I can do right now to improve my situation"? It's unlikely you'll find any magic bullet, more a series of actions that you take which, over time, maybe many years, get you to where you ultimately want to be. It seems like you're doing that to some extent already, which is awesome.

If I were in your shoes, going through what you are, a fresh start on the other side of the world would seem like an excellent option. I've upped sticks and moved before for a fresh start (although only across the country) and it was probably the best decision I ever made. Also had the opportunity to go and teach in China when I was 21, and I didn't take it. Should have taken it.