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How to Overcome Instant Gratification?

Anything related to matters of the mind

Gemmell

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Hey, everyone.

I've been poor my whole life (I'm 22), 90% of my family tree has been poor (on welfare poor.)

I read a lot (especially TMF ) but of course this is not enough. I need to engage in process to achieve my goals in life.

My only problem is: Instant Gratification.

I constantly choose to do what is fun and easy over what I really need to do.

Everyone in my family is the same - just trying to feel good all the time, which is why we are so poor.

My family engages in instant gratification so much that the family is falling apart. They aren't engaging in the process that keeps a family successful and together.

I've searched for help on the internet on ''instant gratification'' but all I get is the usual stuff that does nothing for me.

I want a good life, but I have no experience with delaying gratification, delaying gratification only lasts like 10 mins for me. I don't like the pain it causes.

After constantly trying to overcome instant gratification my mind has come to the following belief:

You can't live a good life without feeling bad a lot.

Dieting = feel bad.
Exercise = feel bad.
Entrepreneurship = feel bad.

I see 2 choices: Short term pain for long term pleasure, or short term pleasure for long term pain.
I believe this forum is the only place to get real advice and not the ''just do it'' nonsense that does nothing for me.

I don't want to be a loser living a meaningless life. If you see any problems with my thinking please point it out so I can overcome it.

In conclusion:


Can anyone tell me how to overcome instant gratification?

It is really destroying me and everyone around me.

Thanks for your help!

Gemmell.
 
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Joe Cassandra

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I want a good life, but I have no experience with delaying gratification, delaying gratification only lasts like 10 mins for me. I don't like the pain it causes.

Dieting = feel bad.
Exercise = feel bad.
Entrepreneurship = feel bad.

Yes, it's easier to sit on the sofa than go out running.

Are you expecting no pain in your life?

Sorry dude.

Who lied to you?
 

Tim Allen Jr.

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Hey, everyone.

I've been poor my whole life (I'm 22), 90% of my family tree has been poor (on welfare poor.)

I read a lot (especially TMF ) but of course this is not enough. I need to engage in process to achieve my goals in life.

My only problem is: Instant Gratification.

I constantly choose to do what is fun and easy over what I really need to do.

Everyone in my family is the same - just trying to feel good all the time, which is why we are so poor.

My family engages in instant gratification so much that the family is falling apart. They aren't engaging in the process that keeps a family successful and together.

I've searched for help on the internet on ''instant gratification'' but all I get is the usual stuff that does nothing for me.

I want a good life, but I have no experience with delaying gratification, delaying gratification only lasts like 10 mins for me. I don't like the pain it causes.

After constantly trying to overcome instant gratification my mind has come to the following belief:

You can't live a good life without feeling bad a lot.

Dieting = feel bad.
Exercise = feel bad.
Entrepreneurship = feel bad.

I see 2 choices: Short term pain for long term pleasure, or short term pleasure for long term pain.
I believe this forum is the only place to get real advice and not the ''just do it'' nonsense that does nothing for me.

I don't want to be a loser living a meaningless life. If you see any problems with my thinking please point it out so I can overcome it.

In conclusion:


Can anyone tell me how to overcome instant gratification?

It is really destroying me and everyone around me.

Thanks for your help!

Gemmell.

Hey man,

Welcome to the forum! Everyone deals with this man, so realize you are not alone. I deal with this every day.... Here's what helps for me.

1. You already mentioned it, but really the best advice is to 'just do it'. Very cliche, but cliche's are cliche's because they've stood the test of time.

2. Write down and visualize your goals. I try to smell the leather of the g5 jet that I want to own, feel the leather on my a$$, the stitching on the seat. Anytime your instant gratification kicks in, think deeply about your goals, this helps frame my prospective on the current decision that I have to make. The more you can deeply feel your goals, where you want to be, for me helped me stop the short term sabotage that I was doing.

3. Start small. It's like a snowball and compounding interests, little changes overtime make a huge difference. Here's what did it for me. Wake up between 5-5:30... When I got up, it gave me a high of knowing I was up before everyone else, grinding. That was my high. Next... I read motivating books first thing in the morning to help frame my mindset for the rest of the day. Next, I started working out.... These small changes ultimately led to bigger and greater changes.

4. People mention this on this forum all the time... Create a process.
- Example (heard this from someone): if you want to start a book, but don't know where to start, just write 1 page a day. FORCE yourself to write 1 page a day, good, bad, terrible, just write 1 page a day. Through this, you'll slowly finish a your book, but more importantly train yourself to write even when you don't want to.

5. Know that your not perfect, everybody goes through this, you, him, ceo's, there is a battle that everyone wages daily. It's part of the journey.

6. Lastly, this is the most important one, this is #1 again, just F*cking do it.

Good luck!
 
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McFirewavesJr

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I got you. I was fat because of my love for instant gratification through food. I turned things around and became a fitness model (never went back to fat mode.) Instant gratification in that sphere of my life was eradicated. Looking back, here are the 3 things that definitely cured me for good:

  • Distanced myself from everything and everyone I knew. I basically relocated and built my life from scratch.
  • Surrounded myself with people who had what I wanted. I forced myself to hang out with the right ppl.
  • Went extreme/cold turkey on my demons. Junk food? out! Alcohol? Out! Restaurants? Out! Gym? Daily! Weigh in? Daily!
These principles can be applied to a poorness mindset as well.
 

Christopher777

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I constantly choose to do what is fun and easy over what I really need to do.

You're not really choosing to do them. You're either habituated or living a life of reaction.

You can just as easily choose to do otherwise.
What's stopping you from choosing the opposite?

What you have to realize and clearly see is the net effect of all your choices. Just ponder where all your daily choices are taking you. Little choices matter if they accumulate. Things happen gradually. You don't get fat by eating just 1 whopper burger today. You will though, if you keep doing it everyday for a year. Same with anything.

Take full responsibility for your choices and make one right now.

Make sure that they take you in the direction you want. Realize that what you're seeing in your family right now is the net result of what they have done before. You can just as easily escape that by choosing different from them.

Envision where you'll end up if you keep making quality choices or continue being this way. It's a no-brainer man. You already know where that will end up.

If you can do that, you're already on the way to a different trajectory.

Everybody deals with choices.
 
Last edited:

Kane9

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You know roughly what you need to do, but you then need to get clear on exactly that is, and the steps you need to accomplish to do it. That means each day writing lists and planning. Then you need to train yourself to follow through, take action on something by doing something you logically know is better while your brain is trying to steer you in a different direction to grab a dopamine hit.

I know sometimes it's not an easy cycle to break, especially as a lot of the decisions we make each day are done on auto pilot. So start with something small, a small challenge where your brain is shouting "F*CK OFF, I'M NOT DOING THAT".

I went through a few years where I lost my way a bit, and lost my discipline. So the thing I started with every day was to take a cold shower.

The first few days, I'd stand there with the shower running, and my brain would be screaming at me not to do it. But I'd take a deep breath and throw myself into it. Within about a week, I'd turn the cold shower on and step into it without thinking.

From there, I applied that to everything. If I wanted to do something, I would just do it within 3 seconds. See a hot girl I wanted to speak to? Go and speak to her. Need to run when it's pissing down with rain? Put my shoes on and do it. Set my alarm and wake up at stupid o'clock? Jump out of bed without thinking. I didn't give my brain a chance to talk me out of it.
 
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maverick

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One thing's for sure: if you don't do anything, you'll always be poor.
 

AndrewNC

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Hey, everyone.

I've been poor my whole life (I'm 22), 90% of my family tree has been poor (on welfare poor.)

I read a lot (especially TMF ) but of course this is not enough. I need to engage in process to achieve my goals in life.

My only problem is: Instant Gratification.

I constantly choose to do what is fun and easy over what I really need to do.

Everyone in my family is the same - just trying to feel good all the time, which is why we are so poor.

My family engages in instant gratification so much that the family is falling apart. They aren't engaging in the process that keeps a family successful and together.

I've searched for help on the internet on ''instant gratification'' but all I get is the usual stuff that does nothing for me.

I want a good life, but I have no experience with delaying gratification, delaying gratification only lasts like 10 mins for me. I don't like the pain it causes.

After constantly trying to overcome instant gratification my mind has come to the following belief:

You can't live a good life without feeling bad a lot.

Dieting = feel bad.
Exercise = feel bad.
Entrepreneurship = feel bad.

I see 2 choices: Short term pain for long term pleasure, or short term pleasure for long term pain.
I believe this forum is the only place to get real advice and not the ''just do it'' nonsense that does nothing for me.

I don't want to be a loser living a meaningless life. If you see any problems with my thinking please point it out so I can overcome it.

In conclusion:


Can anyone tell me how to overcome instant gratification?

It is really destroying me and everyone around me.

Thanks for your help!

Gemmell.

GOLD - I'm sorry, but this is going to be painful for a lot of you...
 

AfterWind

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"Feeling bad" and "Feeling good" is just a matter of perspective I think. Sure, you might be feeling exhausted after running 5 km at 6 AM in the morning but you were able to wake up at that ridiculous hour and overcome that barrier! You! Not one of your friends that stays till' 3AM to play that video game, not your colleagues that always say "I want to start running but I don't have time". Nope. You, my friend.

You feel good because you overcame an obstacle that others couldn't.
You feel good because this proves your willpower.
You feel good because you didn't come up with an excuse.

Who said you can't feel good and, at the same time, work for your long term goals? Oh, you said that, now that's where the problem lies.
 
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Gigi Rodgers

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Hey, everyone.

I've been poor my whole life (I'm 22), 90% of my family tree has been poor (on welfare poor.)

I read a lot (especially TMF ) but of course this is not enough. I need to engage in process to achieve my goals in life.

My only problem is: Instant Gratification.

I constantly choose to do what is fun and easy over what I really need to do.

Everyone in my family is the same - just trying to feel good all the time, which is why we are so poor.

My family engages in instant gratification so much that the family is falling apart. They aren't engaging in the process that keeps a family successful and together.

I've searched for help on the internet on ''instant gratification'' but all I get is the usual stuff that does nothing for me.

I want a good life, but I have no experience with delaying gratification, delaying gratification only lasts like 10 mins for me. I don't like the pain it causes.

After constantly trying to overcome instant gratification my mind has come to the following belief:

You can't live a good life without feeling bad a lot.

Dieting = feel bad.
Exercise = feel bad.
Entrepreneurship = feel bad.

I see 2 choices: Short term pain for long term pleasure, or short term pleasure for long term pain.
I believe this forum is the only place to get real advice and not the ''just do it'' nonsense that does nothing for me.

I don't want to be a loser living a meaningless life. If you see any problems with my thinking please point it out so I can overcome it.

In conclusion:


Can anyone tell me how to overcome instant gratification?

It is really destroying me and everyone around me.

Thanks for your help!

Gemmell.

Well hello there, home slice! Let's chat...

In my teens all I did was watch tv.
I loved anime, sci fi, and till this day - have a thing for Bob Ross re-runs.
I have lost WEEKS, to binge watching shows in my teens and twenties.

I couldn't help myself. DAMN YOU, CLIFFHANGERS!!!

On a random day, with a random realization about my addiction, after coming back from holiday where there was no tv - I stopped.
I pinpointed a lie I tell myself:

"I'll just watch for 30 minutes. Then I'll get back to work".

3-hours later...
Damnit!

But what was the trigger to this time suck? Picking up the remote control
If I pick up the remote control, I'm screwed.

And I know what someone is going to ask, "Well do you watch Netflix"?
Nope.
No Netflix, Hulu, or HBO series.
Just YouTube and Vimeo, from time to time.


So what does this have to do with you, Gemmell?
Triggers (and 'small wins' which I'll touch on later)

There are good triggers and bad triggers.

Bad Trigger: Pick up the remote and lose 3-5 hours of my life in front of the tube. (the trigger: the remote)
Good Trigger: I want to floss more, so I keep the floss right next to my bed on top of my Kindle. So every time I go to pick up my Kindle (which I read every night) I can't get to it without picking up the floss. So might as well floss.

Oh, and to keep track of my progress - I made a grid on loose leaf paper and filled each with a number. Every day, I 'x' out the number. "Don't Break the Chain". Something about that visual record of how I'm doing is gratifying. (the trigger: The floss on top of my Kindle)

So, you need to get honest with yourself and find out what your triggers are. Think of it as an experiment. You'll be surprised with what you find out.

Now let's talk about Small Wins.
The goal of a small win is to take a HUGE task and cut it down to it's bite-sized parts.

So you want to diet?
Instead of making the blood oath that you'll never pick up a Ding Dong again (which, let's be real - are delicious) you start by going from 4 cans of soda a day to 2 a day for a week. Then the week after, 1 can a day. After that, you replace that drink with something else that has flavor - juice, mint water, tea - take your pick.

You want to exercise more?
Don't plan to run a marathon. That's.....just no...
Start by doing one push up.
Yup, just one.
Do one push up on day 1, and add another push-up to each day after.
Or if that's too much, go walk around the block for 5 minutes when you first wake up. And add 30 sec - 1 min to each day.

I started doing planks in my bed when I first wake up. I started at 30 seconds. I add 5 seconds each day. I'm now at 45 seconds.

Want to get your finances straight, but you never know what to do with your money when you get it - so you just end up blowing it at the bar or on junk food?
Read Ramit Sethi's, "I Will Teach You To Be Rich".
It's funny. It's practical AF. And it's about automating your money.
With every paycheck I get, I know EXACTLY where my money is going and I don't even have to think about it.

Wait for the entrepreneurship journey.
Get some of these habits under control first.

Hope that helps!
 

Gemmell

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Got a lot of good advice here.

I'm currently practicing some of the stuff you guys have mentioned.

Unfortunately, my family would never listen to me if I told them some of the stuff here.

I will overcome this instant gratification myself and let them do what they want.

Thanks guys.
 

Mattie

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Everyone in my family is the same - just trying to feel good all the time, which is why we are so poor.
The only way I overcame escapism in entertainment and pleasure, was just forcing myself to do create better habits every day. That was reading a on leadership, success, business, or something to do with my goals. Set up short-term goals. What can you can accomplish in one day if you set your mind to it. Make a list like they suggest in here. 5 goals for today.

Example:

Fitness: Ride your bike for an hour. Take a walk for an hour. Go to the gym for an hour.
Read something on Entrepreneurship for an hour.
Research your Niche for a hour.
Write something on that niche and publish it on a vlog, blog, video
Research strategies, business, advertising, marketing for a hour.
Research communication, writing, presentation skills.

There's different dynamics and variables. Sharpen up your skills, apply, experiment.

Just right there is 6 hours of doing something other than playing video games, watching anime, watching a movie.
I keep thinking if you studied as much as you play the video game, you'd probably have more fun creating the entertainment, and make money at it. Your the same age as my son. I tell him the same thing. He's already met other people his age making money off board games and video games. You people are quite gifted and talented, it's just seeing not as work, but playing when you're creating the product.

If I think back to Lego's and Bioncles. What it did was inspire him to get into drafting, robotics, engineering, coding. Let me ask you a question? What's the difference between playing with Lego's and Bioncle's and building robots as an adult? What's the difference between construction, architecture, and building with Lego's, or playing with trains and designing new trains. The engineer builds roller coasters, bridge's, all kinds of buildings.
Whatever your gits and talents are, you've been doing them all along, it's just utilizing those gifts in a bigger way where it adds value to society.

Perhaps you're looking at it the wrong way. I don't look at it as work. I look at it as a play ground for opportunity to build your own empire.
 

Christopher777

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Triggers (and 'small wins' which I'll touch on later)

There are good triggers and bad triggers.

Speaking of triggers, I love to be as comfortable as possible when I work (read, write, plan, make calls, research, execute), wearing shorts and flip flops.

Then I realized that simply putting my shoes, pants and clothes on as if I have an errand somewhere helps me focus.

Like I'll start doing the most important stuff in a completely different state of mind.

Getting dressed is a good trigger. You'll end up being in a great mood, do a great jam session for your top priority as well as do something important while you're out.
 

Christopher777

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Unfortunately, my family would never listen to me if I told them some of the stuff here.

I will overcome this instant gratification myself and let them do what they want.

Being an example works much much better. Lead through your actions.

Forget about leading them for now, focus on what you yourself must master. Your issue will come later when they begin asking you questions because they are seeing your results.
 
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Gigi Rodgers

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Being an example works much much better. Lead through your actions.

Forget about leading them for now, focus on what you yourself must master. Your issue will come later when they begin asking you questions because they are seeing your results.

I was getting ready to say the same thing Christopher. Perfect.

And I'm the same way as you when it comes to putting on clothes like I'm going out, even though I'm staying in.
I approach my work MUCH differently. What are the odds? #digitalhighfive
 

Digamma

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This thread is full of wonderful advice and techniques, but the truth is, none of them will do you any good.

Here's what your problem is:
Dieting = feel bad.
Exercise = feel bad.
Entrepreneurship = feel bad.

I see 2 choices: Short term pain for long term pleasure, or short term pleasure for long term pain.
I don't feel bad when I diet. I feel bad when I eat shit. That's why I'm ripped.
I don't feel bad when I exercise. I feel bad when I lay around like a potato. That's why I'm strong.
I don't feel bad when I work and provide value. I feel bad when I consume without building anything. That's why I'm growing.

What is always like this? Hell, no.

You've got to rewrite your thought patterns so that your mind works for you, not against you.
To do that, learn to be aware of your thoughts, and change them to more useful thoughts.
There is no shortcut. It's a process of self analysis and work.

Thought influence actions. Actions influence thoughts.
It's a snake eating its tail.
If your thought towards what you need to do is negative, you will tend to inaction. Inaction will push more negative thoughts.
If your thought towards what you need to do is positive, you might push through the hill and start doing. Action begets action.
As you start doing shit, it will become easier.

At the end of the day, just do it is exactly what you need. What you do is all there is - the rest is a con trick you play on yourself.
 
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