Stop believing the lie that buying stuff will make you happy.
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Free registration at the forum removes this block.P.S I live with my girlfriend so my expenses are double.
I've come to the point where I'm a minimalist. I can afford to buy stuff -- but, I think about having to store it, fix it, wash it, love it and look at it until I 86 it out of my life. There's just nothing that I really want or need most of the time. Here are the questions I ask myself when I'm making that buying decision -- Do I really need it? Do I really love it? Is it the best solution to an actionable problem? Can I rent it or borrow it rather than buying it? In my mind, less is more.Hello there,
I was recently at a stage where I couldn't pay my bills so I changed some things in my life and I am finally making money. I am nothing like a rich, I have decent money for a country that I live in. A few months back my biggest issue was how to pay my bills, but now it's consumerism.
Now I can pay for most things that I couldn't months ago if I wish a new PlayStation game, I just buy it (Death Stranding is F*cking awesome), not even thinking about it, Netflix subscription, no problem. I want some new gadget like Apple Beats, I have it. But as I've come to this state I am starting to understand that I am becoming a consumer, I am becoming a westerner(Americanized) and I am really not a happy person. The only fun thing for me is going to restaurants and driving my car. If I go out and I don't eat, it's like I didn't even go out. I want to stop this cycle but I am stuck and I don't know what to do. How do you have fun if you are not spending money? Actually I am failing at saving money and I have no F*cking clue how to do that. I was not prepared for this... I assume this is the biggest issue people face when they start growing, as they grow their expenses grow. How do you balance that?
P.S I live with my girlfriend so my expenses are double.
Also, could you recommend some book on frugality/finance?
Seems like you have a lot of guilt over spending money. I'd work on that.
When it comes to saving it doesn't have to be complicated, just start with putting 10% of your earnings into savings first thing every month.
Personally i increase my savings by 10% every 3 months to make sure i always push to earn more.(goal is to save 99% of income every month while still living like a king).
I recommend you read "The Richest Man in Babylon" it's an easy read and covers the basics
Have two separate accounts. Every month when your pay comes in put them in another account and never touch them.Hello there,
I was recently at a stage where I couldn't pay my bills so I changed some things in my life and I am finally making money. I am nothing like a rich, I have decent money for a country that I live in. A few months back my biggest issue was how to pay my bills, but now it's consumerism.
Now I can pay for most things that I couldn't months ago if I wish a new PlayStation game, I just buy it (Death Stranding is F*cking awesome), not even thinking about it, Netflix subscription, no problem. I want some new gadget like Apple Beats, I have it. But as I've come to this state I am starting to understand that I am becoming a consumer, I am becoming a westerner(Americanized) and I am really not a happy person. The only fun thing for me is going to restaurants and driving my car. If I go out and I don't eat, it's like I didn't even go out. I want to stop this cycle but I am stuck and I don't know what to do. How do you have fun if you are not spending money? Actually I am failing at saving money and I have no F*cking clue how to do that. I was not prepared for this... I assume this is the biggest issue people face when they start growing, as they grow their expenses grow. How do you balance that?
P.S I live with my girlfriend so my expenses are double.
Also, could you recommend some book on frugality/finance?
Hello there,
I was recently at a stage where I couldn't pay my bills so I changed some things in my life and I am finally making money. I am nothing like a rich, I have decent money for a country that I live in. A few months back my biggest issue was how to pay my bills, but now it's consumerism.
I'd recommend this Book.Also, could you recommend some book on frugality/finance?
Good thoughts.Life = attention.
Whatever controls your attention, controls your life.
If advertisers offering consumer products (and they know how to create desire, even if there is no need - that's what they are paid for) then those advertisers control your attention, your choices, and as a result, your life.
You can become more happy and fulfilled if you regain control of your own attention. There is a lot more to it than appears on the surface. For example, you can practice enjoying things - it's not a given, i.e. you either enjoy something or you don't. Some things we enjoy are acquired taste. You start doing something, you give it a try and you may end up loving it. That's what happened for my wife with darts... I recommended that we buy a dart board and play regularly, she was "meh..." with the idea... but once we started playing, it turned into a lot of fun that we both enjoy. Improving our physical skills, focusing on something else than a computer/phone screen, the spirit of friendly contest, etc. it's really enjoyable. But of course this is only an example. Any of the activities recommended by others could become something you love and enjoy thoroughly if you can direct your attention to it, focus long enough to get the hang of it an then start enjoying it. Turns out not it's your thing? No problem. Drop it and try something else.
The point is that what gives someone happiness is not "out there". Happiness is a state of mind, a self created reaction to the world around you, not something your circumstances "give you" or not. A child can play with his foot for hours and be perfectly entertained... That is an ability you used to have and can regain by deciding to put your attention on anything you think you MAY enjoy... and continue doing it (give it some time) until you can tell if it makes you happier or not.
It is the same principle that applies to procrastination: starting is hard, but once you are in flow, you will enjoy the activity. The activity is the same, only your attention changed (from "oh, no, I have to do this" to actually DOING it which is much more enjoyable than the dread of "having to" do it).
There is a book I personally found very helpful on this topic: The Miracles of Attention and Awareness - Kindle edition by Frederick Dodson. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
The whole point is, don't let your attention be controlled by the environment, advertisers, whatever. Learn to control it yourself.
I hope this helps.
Hello there,
I was recently at a stage where I couldn't pay my bills so I changed some things in my life and I am finally making money. I am nothing like a rich, I have decent money for a country that I live in. A few months back my biggest issue was how to pay my bills, but now it's consumerism.
Now I can pay for most things that I couldn't months ago if I wish a new PlayStation game, I just buy it (Death Stranding is F*cking awesome), not even thinking about it, Netflix subscription, no problem. I want some new gadget like Apple Beats, I have it. But as I've come to this state I am starting to understand that I am becoming a consumer, I am becoming a westerner(Americanized) and I am really not a happy person. The only fun thing for me is going to restaurants and driving my car. If I go out and I don't eat, it's like I didn't even go out. I want to stop this cycle but I am stuck and I don't know what to do. How do you have fun if you are not spending money? Actually I am failing at saving money and I have no F*cking clue how to do that. I was not prepared for this... I assume this is the biggest issue people face when they start growing, as they grow their expenses grow. How do you balance that?
P.S I live with my girlfriend so my expenses are double.
Also, could you recommend some book on frugality/finance?
The question I ask myself is: "What will work the best to solve this problem?" That question is not about the price, either high or low, or the trendy product of the moment. Sometimes the cheapest and simplest answer works the best. In other situations, the passage of time solves it without buying anything or doing anything. I call those "self-correcting problems." I'm just not a very good consumer.I never had a problem with been a consumerist and I live in the USA. My parents were very frugal and I guess that slipped into my mindset once I started making my own money. Not to spend it on useless shit.
To fix consumerism you'll have to read up on psychology, philosophy and "spiritual" books I put that in quotations because most religious texts are just philosophy books mixed in the supernatural.
That will make you question yourself and what is pushing you to buy all this things. For example why did you buy the Beats and not some cheaper Sony headphones? After all they serve the same purpose transmit sound electronically.
Was it because you believe those will make you look more trendy and in? Is it because the "cool" people wear them so you think others will perceive you as cool? Beat headphones are not special you can spend the same money on Bose headphones that pack more advanced features.
Another angle that I think of is marketing. What marketing strategy is behind a service or product. Who is the producer targeting and what is he trying to make me feel. Writing copy changed the way I buy things because now I see copy writing in everything I buy. So I stopped reading everything on the box other than the specifications. I look at the products I buy only by what the product is made of. I don't pay attention to the pictures or other useless words because I know they're just there to influence my perception.
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