How to EMBARRASS yourself - Don't be this guy

[BaraQueenbee]

I open my messages and I see "Brad" has started a conversation with me and it sounds something like this (I am rarely friendly with strangers like this, but its method was so clear. Let's call it amusement)

Add: this is the adult industry we are speaking about, to give it the right context.
Mercedes (Me) being a full functioning and established adult-worker.

--------------------------------------------

Brad: Hey Mercedes, you seem to be a huge influence and big name in your industry, I want to pass this amazing opportunity and idea by you, that is of great value! And I think it can hugely benefit you too!

Me: So what have you been reading? Rich Dad Poor Dad? 4-hour Workweek? Or Millionaire Fastlane ? I hope it's not the latter, because then you have TRULY misunderstood its message.
So, what is this AMAZING idea you speak off?

Brad: Oh yes! It was Millionaire Fastlane , how did you know? And I want to start a website that sells online content by successful women like yourself, the cut would be 60 for me, 40 for you.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And how did you bypass Sesta/Fosta?

Brad: What is that? I'm sure I can bypass anything

At this moment I block Brad, because now it's becoming annoying.

--------------------------------------------

TLTR:
Hi exciting newbie! I know you feel you are running out of time, and I know there is good in you and you can't wait to get started in life. This is a great mindset!

However, I as a business owner, do not:

1. care for what you"want to start". Show me your credentials and receipts and we can talk.
2. know why you think it be ok to make money of an industry that is established, and you don't have anything to ADD to, rather than exploiting the BUSINESS OWNERS within this industry.
3. appreciate you creating a bad name for the Millionaire Fastlane . The community (and book for that matter) are VERY clear on creating meaningful connections and adding value. Truly learning and understanding the product or industry you plan on invating.
4. like to deal with puppies who want to bark with the established people. This is not about discouraging anyone from following dreams and pursue steps. This is about clearly being delusional and ignorant, and it shows. It shows big time.
By showing that you are making a huge negative first impression.

I suggest to those who are in such a rush to read the book again, transforming that in some real life experience (rather than second hand knowledge which shows you have no clue about), and then get back at it.

P.s. when you actually verbalize the fact that you have "learned" this from Millionaire Fastlane , you actually give the whole movement and book a bad name. Don't be that guy

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

 

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[Scot]

Newbies PM me all the time. And if I can help them steer towards the right path, I do.

I’m not sure what Brad did besides have a half assed boiler plate email..

 

[Vigilante]

Newbies PM me all the time. And if I can help them steer towards the right path, I do.

I’m not sure what Brad did besides have a half assed boiler plate email..

The value exchange is problematic and tiresome. “You provide the content, you provide the name, I will throw it on the web and I will take 60%.”

I used to receive offers like these all the time until I shut them down completely. Vampires that feast off your blood and sell it like it’s a benefit to you. In the world of entrepreneurship, it’s typically newbies that have an idea and want to take other celebrity along for the ride. If what he offered her was a 90% to her, 10% to him the response might have been marginally different. She doesn’t need him, but his big idea fails without her.

Equated back you…Nobody gives a shit about your ideas, your goals, or your ambition. Those are yours. Don’t expect anybody to ever get excited about what you are excited about, especially when your value proposition is that you take the majority of the profit from the collaboration.

MJ gets this all the time. Let me put your book into a board game. I’ll keep 60%, give you 40%. Meanwhile, if I do anything deleterious to your brand ... I walk away.

Here’s what the opposite of this might look like. I develop a tremendously successful content network, then once I have proof of case I contact you and offer you a 90% margin share as a contributor. Do you think the reception in that case might be different?

If you need me more than I need you, then that should be reflected even in your initial proposal. When you pitch something be mindful of the fact that I need you 0% and you need me 100%.

I literally stopped engaging in regular discussions with vampires for the exact reason as it is highlighted in the OP.

Your most valuable commodity is your time. Your second most valuable commodity is your reputation. Protect those above all else.

 

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[Raoul Duke]

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

 

[Vigilante]

With all respect who are you and what do you do?

That doesn’t matter. Read for content. Let credential come from wisdom, not resume.

 

[rwhyan]

Unless one PAYS me (in hard or other abstract currency/energy exchange) I don't have to anything.
The barking puppies come along every day and it is annoying as F*ck.

As to the exposing: believe me if I would, I would have actually added his member name.
Right now it's "just" a Brad (which isn't his real name). And Brad represents puppies.

Last but least: it's a RANT. Not a "Please people this is my story, let me sugarcoat and coddle everyone so no ones gets offended".

I get that you're angry. I would be too.

But if you're trying to actually make change and teach people not to do what "Brad" did, going about it in a pissy way is counterproductive. It undermines your message.

And if you aren't trying to actually provide value and help people ("it's a RANT"), then you're just complaining, which is no better than the value-leeching "Brad."

Don't know who made you in charge of this noble cause. If that is your goal, you might want to change your own approach.

Nobody made me in charge. You are doing what I am doing: pointing out actions or attitudes of people you don't like.

In your case it is "barking puppies," in my case it is unwarranted, unproductive negativity for the sake of propping oneself up.

 

[Vigilante]

I had a large Asian manufacturer contact me at the consumer electronics show. They wanted to meet. We met.

Their proposal? I become their US sales marketing distribution and customer service. We promote their brand and build them into number one market share in the United States. At the end of the day, they still own the brand.

Their next question was how much money was I willing to invest in my distribution of their products?

My answer surprised them. They could pay me a tremendous retainer while floating inventory in here on consignment terms, and a reasonable split on the margin.

Aside from that, why wouldn’t I just build my own brand without them? I need them 0% and they need me 100%.

Their initial proposal was faulty and worthy of nothing but

Hahahahaha.

 

[rwhyan]

Clearly you are having a hard time understanding little big boy, but let me summon it up mega short:

-UNDERSTAND the actual industry you PLAN on creating a business in. If you are not aware of the BIGGEST most influential LAW changes that have affect on it, then you make yourself out to be a joke.
-ADD VALUE to the people, rather than thinking how they can make money for YOU
-BUILD actual connections that are mutually beneficial. (which you can not if you see the other person in potential dollar signs
-Take action instead of mentally jerking off to the idea of action and talking about all the big plans you have

Need a cray on explanation with it too?

Post scriptum: WHY is this guy a "poor" guy actually?

Lol. Resorting to name calling.

I'm not criticizing your message.

I am criticizing the manner in which you presented it and maybe I didn't make that clear.

How to EMBARRASS yourself — Don't be this guy

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And how did you bypass Sesta/Fosta

Like to deal with puppies who want to bark with the established people.

I don't respect your attitude. I get that you're trying to get a point across, but you are trying to "expose" him on this forum, embarrass him, and laugh at him, seemingly because you are an "established [person]."

You could have just as easily have come in with an attitude of sharing your knowledge and this anecdotal experience while leaving behind all that BS.

He's a "poor guy" because clearly he didn't understand TMF after reading it.

 

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[Vigilante]

?

Y’all seem to want to debate. I’m not into the semantics or splitting hairs.

The original post was awesome, as is the intent of the poster. If you don’t like it that’s ok. Roll on. She’s been gone from here a long time, and my guess is the negativity will put her back in the shadows. I for one appreciate the diversity and wish we had more gals posting here. Y’all could’ve sat back and just learned something.

And for the record I find investing in the betterment of societally disadvantaged/rejected people to be highly noble. People intrigue me that are interested in helping others. I find value in people who do... what many won’t to help someone up out of the gutter. Most people just look away and walk past.

Do you?

 

[100ToOne]

With all respect who are you and what do you do?

 

[BaraQueenbee]

With all respect who are you and what do you do?

Professional Dominatrix, specialized in certain niches (virtually). (10 years and going strong)

In my daily life I volunteer at Rescue Shelter for women, as well as being loud (politically involved) and online about certain -isms in the world.
As well as tried to create an helpful app and miserably failing several times, at that.
Re-route time!

I love people who have the entrepreneurial mindset, and I wish we will grow as a group.
However I have a huge dislike for the "get rich overnight"-generation who thinks they are following the steps handed to them (like in the book) and somehow feel they are special and can bypass/quick-route the work, and clearly lacking the self-knowledge to realize where they stand in life or what character they have.

She is a Dutch Woman. They all speak their mind and quite straight to the point. I've learned from the Dutch, American's beat around the bush, don't get to the point, and game play. The Dutch I've met are usually clear, concise, and get their point across and don't like wasting their time.

Agree with this! Being born and raised in East Europe, also have lived in the US, and now here in the Netherlands, you can really see the differences in communication. I am well aware this is speaking in generalizations, of course they come from a truth.

Americans: Well, you could go there, and maybe take a left. Yes. I think you should take a left. At this one place, that really feels nice. It as all these colors, and yeah. Maybe take a left. You'll love it there. Then after you keep going straight, enjoy the scenery and the nice weather, etc etc.

Dutch: Take a first left then straight on, second right.

 

[rwhyan]

Okay...? Just another value leecher. Not sure what your point is.

To laugh at the poor guy who is trying to take action?

 

[BaraQueenbee]

@Vigilante

What you just wrote should be pinned somewhere.

Your most valuable commodity is your time. Your second most valuable commodity is your reputation. Protect those above all else.

This. This. This.

Beautifully said, have always admired your clear way of communicating *bows head*

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Sometimes we forget that many cultures around the world post here, not withstanding a native language that translates into English. Things will not always be perceived accurately based on a # of factors, the receiver/sender/culture/translation -- that's a lot of variables.

 

[Red]

For the life of me, I can't understand why prostitution is illegal.

Just look to the puritanical roots of our country. That explains it all, including, but not limited to, why in some states you still can't buy alcohol on a Sunday.

Funny how adult workers are suddenly respected on the forum because an old forum member identified as one.

Fortunately, like many things in life, this forum has evolved for the better. The admins work hard at making sure that ALL feel welcomed here. It's not an easy job considering that a great deal of prejudice runs deep & often on a subconscious level. I've personally seen members of this forum set unfounded & close-minded prejudices aside & begin to think for themselves. It's refreshing. And appreciated.

 

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[rpeck90]

I get that you're angry. I would be too.

But if you're trying to actually make change and teach people not to do what "Brad" did, going about it in a pissy way is counterproductive. It undermines your message.

And if you aren't trying to actually provide value and help people ("it's a RANT"), then you're just complaining, which is no better than the value-leeching "Brad."


Nobody made me in charge. You are doing what I am doing: pointing out actions or attitudes of people you don't like.

In your case it is "barking puppies," in my case it is unwarranted, unproductive negativity for the sake of propping oneself up.

I think the point that was being made was "Brad" was trying to take something from @BaraQueenbee without considering her, demanding 60% without anything to show for it.

Maybe Brad enrolled in the "how to be a digital pimp" course and figured he get @BaraQueenbee to sell videos online, taking a 60% cut.

It wasn't that he made the request, more the context of it.

 

[Vigilante]

Even from @AndrewNC?

If you are finding wisdom in his content we need to speak.

 

[Longinus]

Funny how adult workers are suddenly respected on the forum because an old forum member identified as one. It used to be different.

 

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[BaraQueenbee]

I respect all hustles, no judgement from my side. Just pointing to the voices in that thread saying that adult work is basically the same as human trafficking and exploitation of poor girls who had no other choice.

I went into the post you linked to.

If you don't mind, I'd like to give my own 2 cents on the matter.

For one, there is a very active whore-archy (as we call it) within anything sex related, society made this.
Being a dominatrix and NOT involving ANY sex kind of appeals to people in an ironic way. Outside of that I am literally my own legal business.

Porn websites, often work with PIRATED content and make money off of that. I don't have to explain how wrong that is.
I won't go too much into the moral on these, because politically it can go down south real fast.
But I can short it up this was:
I am for porn/sex work, I am AGAINST the porn industry.
The industry being led by some very big names, preying on girls. And TOO YOUNG girls that is too.

If you are interested in the nasty side of it (you'll look differently at porn forever), let me know. I can link enough documentaries.
Porn industry is a bulk creator and I find it very problematic that they prey on young girls. Which goes into another layer of problem, because young girls sell.

I feel there is a small shift this decade, where women work independently and as a business.
This requires some self-awareness (as running any business does) as well as a complete different "responsibility" aspect. One will have to work with people who feel "good" and safe, rather than what the porn'contract provides them with.
Cam girls being on top of that, since they do it in their own environment, no "dangerous" external factors, etc.

So I understand why that topic went "somewhat" south.

Moderators if this reply gets too political, please delete of course <3

 

[Ravens_Shadow]

you try sooo hard to be tough........

average entrepreneur responding to an average entrepreneur
Chick, you are not a biz star

So after 18 posts and joining in 2015, you have 3 likes and a thread in the landfill, who can take you seriously lol.

 

[Vigilante]

Thank you for keeping this forum as "clean" as possible, I truly can not understand how y'all do it or where y'all get the patience.

MJ is the conscience of this place. If it was up to me I would ban everybody (including me) for being rude. MJ has the patience of Mother Teresa.

 

[BaraQueenbee]

Okay...? Just another value leecher. Not sure what your point is.

To laugh at the poor guy who is trying to take action?

Clearly you are having a hard time understanding little big boy, but let me summon it up mega short:

-UNDERSTAND the actual industry you PLAN on creating a business in. If you are not aware of the BIGGEST most influential LAW changes that have affect on it, then you make yourself out to be a joke.
-ADD VALUE to the people, rather than thinking how they can make money for YOU
-BUILD actual connections that are mutually beneficial. (which you can not if you see the other person in potential dollar signs
-Take action instead of mentally jerking off to the idea of action and talking about all the big plans you have

Need a cray on explanation with it too?

Post scriptum: WHY is this guy a "poor" guy actually?

 

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[GPM]

you try sooo hard to be tough........

I can say that I am friends with Bara in real life. Dude, she would beat the shit out of you and not even miss her stride. You have no idea.

If you don't like her choice of business (keep in mind she has done more to help woman than probably anyone else I that I know), then that is fine. But to talk down to her because she is a woman and doesn't want to take any shit from exploiters is just asinine. You need to come up from your mom's basement for fresh air more often.

 

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[rwhyan]

Not here to be liked by you.

You could have just scrolled along, 100.0000 threads to find value.
But somehow you found it necessary to come in on a post JUST to state that you don't respect My attitude.

That's some wild entitlement. Love it.

But thanks for telling me. I won't change it <3

I didn't finish my post. Please read again now that I've added.

You can have whatever attitude you want. I am going to point out toxic attitudes and people on this forum when I see it though.

 

[BaraQueenbee]

Let's keep it at a cultural difference.

You. The american who claims people ONLY learn from sugarcoated silk gloves weared-messaged.

Me. East European, who has lived in the west too, and has learned that it doesn't matter how you bring your message, people will listen or not, depending on where they stand in life. And the russian-method "teacher" don't get their time wasted either.

Outside being annoyed by puppies, I am not mad.
Nothing but love here.

 

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[Thoelt53]

This thread has been a trip. Reading it was like watching Super Bowl LI.

@BaraQueenbee you are a riot. It's not often that we get to laugh and learn at the same time. I thoroughly enjoy your perspective. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Mattie]

She is a Dutch Woman. They all speak their mind and quite straight to the point. I've learned from the Dutch, American's beat around the bush, don't get to the point, and game play. The Dutch I've met are usually clear, concise, and get their point across and don't like wasting their time.

 

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[Scot]

So "Brad" read a great book about entrepreneurship, then gets the mega original idea that he will start a porn website for individual adult-content creators (with a VERY shitty percentage too), but isn't aware of the biggest most influential law that just passed to wipe out half the industry.

Now this whole thread makes sense.

I can’t speak for the other posters, but I had no idea this guy was trying to start a porn website and be exploitive. To me it sounded like he wanted to repost some articles you wrote.

And didn’t know what Sesta/fosta, But assuming those are the laws you’re referring to.

 

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[Vigilante]

I also suspect there is an extra element involved when people living in mommy’s basement approach serious business people and think simply because they are in the sex industry or other related industries that they would be receptive to what somebody aptly inferred above as a virtual pimp relationship for a non-existent content play with an Abusive value split.

How many people sit around jacking off and think that because they like to watch porn they should open themselves a website , vampire other people’s work and sit back and let millions roll in?

At the end of the day all these “entrepreneurs” are ever going to get is chapped.

 

[Xeon]

Maybe Brad enrolled in the "how to be a digital pimp" course and figured he get @BaraQueenbee to sell videos online, taking a 60% cut

WTF WTF WTF I watched some parts of the video in the link above, I can't believe there exists this sort of thing! Not sure if it's a troll website but I had to close the browser halfway watching the guy explain the stuff, it's so funny I can't stop LMAO LOL



EDIT: Just watched it again, it's really creepy when he said "For example, if you're in Singapore", and I wonder it's some coincidence or the video can determine the viewer's geographical location and the content changes accordingly lol....