How to deal with crabs in buckets?

[future8938]

I have big dreams and know I will make it big. However with success comes people who will drag you down. In my past I have cursed out a few people who I know will try to drag me down when I make it. It's happened before and I KNOW it will happen again. This guy is that kind of guy. I didn't do anything illegal just cursed him out tremendously. He's the kind of guy to screenshot it all and bring me down. Don't say I shouldn't be worried. When you get to a certain level some people will make it their life mission to bring you down.

 

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[Andy Black]

I have big dreams and know I will make it big. However with success comes people who will drag you down. In my past I have cursed out a few people who I know will try to drag me down when I make it. It's happened before and I KNOW it will happen again. This guy is that kind of guy. I didn't do anything illegal just cursed him out tremendously. He's the kind of guy to screenshot it all and bring me down. Don't say I shouldn't be worried. When you get to a certain level some people will make it their life mission to bring you down.

My thoughts:

1. Assume all communication will go public.
2. Don't feed the trolls.
3. Ignore haters, or use them as fuel.
4. People pay for your opinions, so why give them free to people you don't like?

 

[future8938]

I have big dreams and know I will make it big. However with success comes people who will drag you down. In my past I have cursed out a few people who I know will try to drag me down when I make it. It's happened before and I KNOW it will happen again. This guy is that kind of guy. I didn't do anything illegal just cursed him out tremendously. He's the kind of guy to screenshot it all and bring me down. Don't say I shouldn't be worried. When you get to a certain level some people will make it their life mission to bring you down.

This was a stupid thread. Mods please delete it I apologize

 

[Andy Black]

This was a stupid thread. Mods please delete it I apologize

I don't think it's a stupid thread. A lot of people feel others are out to get them when in fact most people are too focused on themselves. Just remember they're not out to get you, they're more concerned with making themselves look good or feel good. There are for sure people who are like crabs in buckets, but you're best ignoring them imo.



Thread title changed from "What Would You Do?" to "How To Deal With Crabs In Buckets?"


Also, we don't delete threads in the forum:

• IMPORTANT! - Delete thread - please don't ask.

 

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[future8938]

I don't think it's a stupid thread. A lot of people feel others are out to get them when in fact most people are too focused on themselves. Just remember they're not out to get you, they're more concerned with making themselves look good or feel good. There are for sure people who are like crabs in buckets, but you're best ignoring them imo.



Thread title changed from "What Would You Do?" to "How To Deal With Crabs In Buckets?"


Also, we don't delete threads in the forum:

• IMPORTANT! - Delete thread - please don't ask.

Yeah I can feel it dragging me down. I know it's going to come up. Look at any famous person they always have their past catch up to them. I know it's going to bite me in the a$$. F*cking hard to focus on the future when the past is behind you. Serious answers only this is actually a big problem.

 

[Andy Black]

Yeah I can feel it dragging me down. I know it's going to come up. Look at any famous person they always have their past catch up to them. I know it's going to bite me in the a$$. f*cking hard to focus on the future when the past is behind you. Serious answers only this is actually a big problem.

You said it... "the past is behind you."

Don't say stuff now that you'll regret in later years, but in the same breath don't worry about what may happen in the future when you're rich and/or famous.

I can't help thinking of the line: "Overthinking is the art of solving problems you don't have."

Are you talking yourself out of doing something now for your future because of what you think may happen in the future due to something that happened in the past?

Also... if you've created bad blood with someone then can you go and make amends?

 

[future8938]

You said it... "the past is behind you."

Don't say stuff now that you'll regret in later years, but in the same breath don't worry about what may happen in the future when you're rich and/or famous.

I can't help thinking of the line: "Overthinking is the art of solving problems you don't have."

Are you talking yourself out of doing something now for your future because of what you think may happen in the future due to something that happened in the past?

Also... if you've created bad blood with someone then can you go and make amends?

I sent out messages to make amends but man is this thing really dragging me down it's blinding my future. I'm going to try my best to just focus on what I want and forget my past mistakes. Im just worried I'll lose it all when I make it because of the stupidity and ignorance of my past self. Look at how many famous people get ruined over controversial mistakes.

 

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[fastlanedoll]

You don't. Seriously.

It was unfortunate that I worked with a full bucket of crabs in my last, last job. But if you're interacting with them voluntarily, I would say to Just. Stop.

If you MUST interact with them, I would advise you to:
1) Develop a VERY strong sense of self. Like unshakeable. You can't let what other people say get inside your head and affect your purpose, your vision, and your perception of your abilities & self worth.

2) Everytime somebody tries to drag you down & say something demeaning, pretend there is a mirror between you & them. What they say is a reflection of them, and not you.

What they're doing is a form of bullying.

MOST bullies are cowards who will back down once confronted.
I would 'confront' them using means increasing in aggression.
First is verbal. Usually, a sharp, witty comeback will do the trick. I'm a master at those, but regrettably, I don't always have the guts to say it. But when I do, I notice they shut up rather quickly.

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but if need be, get figures of authority involved, e.g. someone higher on the hierarchy if it is a workplace issue or police / lawyer etc if it is not.

EDIT: ok I just read your responses

Umm.. I suppose he must have triggered you first before you went on that verbose?
Just make sure your side of the story is also heard if it really came down to that.

 

[Andy Black]

You don't. Seriously.

It was unfortunate that I worked with a full bucket of crabs in my last, last job. But if you're interacting with them voluntarily, I would say to Just. Stop.

If you MUST interact with them, I would advise you to:
1) Develop a VERY strong sense of self. Like unshakeable. You can't let what other people say get inside your head and affect your purpose, your vision, and your perception of your abilities & self worth.

2) Everytime somebody tries to drag you down & say something demeaning, pretend there is a mirror between you & them. What they say is a reflection of them, and not you.

What they're doing is a form of bullying.

MOST bullies are cowards who will back down once confronted.
I would 'confront' them using means increasing in aggression.
First is verbal. Usually, a sharp, witty comeback will do the trick. I'm a master at those, but regrettably, I don't always have the guts to say it. But when I do, I notice they shut up rather quickly.

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but if need be, get figures of authority involved, e.g. someone higher on the hierarchy if it is a workplace issue or police / lawyer etc if it is not.

EDIT: ok I just read your responses

Umm.. I suppose he must have triggered you first before you went on that verbose?
Just make sure your side of the story is also heard if it really came down to that.

Yes, my bad for changing the title without fully understanding what @future8938 meant. I think it boils down to he believes he’s done wrong to someone in the past who will bring him down if he has success in the future.

 

[fastlanedoll]

Yes, my bad for changing the title without fully understanding what @future8938 meant. I think it boils down to he believes he’s done wrong to someone in the past who will bring him down if he has success in the future.

i agree when you said "overthinking is finding solutions to problems that don't exist", I"m guilty of this, but at the same time, as an entrepreneur, I think you can't be too careful, either.

One slip can really bring down your whole business.

It's hard to give more help to the OP if he's not willing to share more details, but I'd understand if he is uncomfortable to.

 

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[Andy Black]

I think you can't be too careful, either.

One slip can really bring down your whole business.

We can be too careful if it means we never do anything.

I live by “I refuse to regret.” ... which sounds like I don’t gaf, but actually means I try damn hard to not do stuff I will regret,.

If something happens that I didn’t intend (like someone gets offended by what I say or the way I say it) then I don’t beat myself up about it - because I already tried to do it in a way I’d have no cause to regret. (That doesn’t mean I won’t apologise I or try to explain if my initial attempt was clumsy or there’s been a miscommunication.)

 

[Kak]

There's only one solution.

Every time you cuss someone out, you have to change your name, dye your hair, grow a mustache and start over.

A bucket of crabs sounds delicious. A little cajun seasoning... A little melted butter... F%#$ yes, that s#$% sounds f#$%&^% amazing!... I better go get the hair dye and call the moving company.

In all honesty... Don't sweat it. Learn to control your temper and your language. It has certainly been a process for me.

 

[Andy Black]

Don't sweat it.

^^^ Darn it. Kak used three words when I used three pages.

Learn to control your temper and your language

Aha... It’s likely the English in me, but the more annoyed I get the more polite I get.

I often start my snotty emails with:

“Thank you for ...”

“Can you please ...”

 

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[abcdefgh]

I have big dreams and know I will make it big. However with success comes people who will drag you down. In my past I have cursed out a few people who I know will try to drag me down when I make it. It's happened before and I KNOW it will happen again. This guy is that kind of guy. I didn't do anything illegal just cursed him out tremendously. He's the kind of guy to screenshot it all and bring me down. Don't say I shouldn't be worried. When you get to a certain level some people will make it their life mission to bring you down.

What's your relationship to this person? Is there some way of cutting them out of your life entirely?