How to kill your limiting belief system.

[ChrisV]

Okay guys, I have something really really really special for you. Like, really special. I've been working on something for about 15 years now, and I've been dropping breadcrumbs for a couple years. All those breadcrumbs were actually part of a much bigger framework building an actual science of achievement.

This is the real deal. This will get you what you want. I understand that's a big claim but I think I've built up enough of a reputation on this forum for people to know I don't bullshit people and when I say I have something good I deliever on it. Do this and you'll have control over your behavior. I've tested this. I've tried this. It worked for me and a handful of the other people I've shown. It's also based on the most rigorous evidence-based behavioral change methods. What does evidence-based mean? A technique is considered 'evidence-based' when it's been tested over and over and over under the most rigorous scientific conditions and has been shown to work again and again. If this doesn't work for you I'd like to interview you for the sake of science.

This is the core framework of many types of behavior change methods (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Internal Family Systems, etc etc etc) boiled them down to First Principles. Compared them, contrasted them and boiled down to WHY they work. Having them down to their first principles makes it work better and faster.

So okay whatever.... Let's think about something. How is it humanly possible that anyone on this forum hasn't attained whatever level of success they could possibly want. MJ's book spells it out step-by-step in his book. It's all right there. The model is simple. Make something cool and scale it. THAT'S IT. There is no excuse.

But still.. how many people on here are actually living the life they want?

Well it's simple, often our minds simply don't do what we tell them to do. Our brains can be disobedient little brats who only care about candy and video games. I mean.. if you've been on this planet for more than say...... 3 days, you know how goddamn hard it can be to get our minds to obey us. For some people, you know how hard it is to just 'decide' to do something and then just... do it. Imagine just deciding you're going to stick to a diet then doing it and watching the pounds fall off. Or deciding that you're going go to the gym daily and just... do it. But for many it’s easier said than done. You see an attractive member of the sex you're attracted to and want to go over and talk but your brain has different plans so it comes up with a bunch of 'reasons' as to why you shouldn't. You want to start a startup but your brain comes up with some BS and tells you to go play some video games instead. Sometimes you just want to tell that voice to shut the f—- up and let you do what you want. It can be like being trapped inside operant conditioning.

People will tell you that you just need willpower. I like to tell them that they just need to shut the F*ck up. There are other ways. I've been nose-deep in behavioral research for over a decade and willpower as a behavior change method is a joke. Even if you DO succeed in using it, it can be like having to live your live with an anvil chained to your leg. To some, it's almost not even worth it. You're almost better off continuing to smoke than you are to have to fight the urge to smoke EVERY day.

But there's another option. What if you just eliminates the urge to smoke? What if you just... didnt want to? What if there was a way to eliminate that desire altogether. Or if you could just eliminate the desire to procrastinate. Not everyone has a desire to procrastinate, do why do some people have it and other's don't. I mean do you really think Elon Musk is walking around every day like 'okay i can't procrastinate.. i can't procrastinate.. let me go muster my willpower to send SpaceX to orbit?' Do you think these people are FORCING themselves to not play video games. Steve Jobs? Bill Gates? Can you imagine Steve Jobs white-knuckling an MacBook design? The notion is absurd.

So what's the difference between Sammy the Slacker and Alex the Achiever?

The difference is we have this little voice that tempts us will all sorts of things. Procrastination. Calorie rich foods. Insecurity. Shyness... i mean it's all different stuff but it's all different versions of the same voice.

You can overpower that voice that tempts you to do things that are not in your best interest… but what if you could silence it completely?

Some people don't have those temptations. One person may have a temptation to be shy, one may have a temptation to procrastinate and one may have a voice making it be harder to stick to a diet. It's all the same voice it just says different things.

Too much Self-Help is about suppressing that negative voice. Some tell you to 'think positive'... some tell you to 'be present in the now' but they all require consistently reminding yourself to 'think positive' or 'be in the now.' I've read Eckhart Tolle, and I like him and his work a lot but it may be harder for some people to always remember to be in the present moment, (even though it gets easier as time goes on)... being present is preferable to most than having to listen to your mind's inane ramblings but to me the answer to me isn't suppressing that voice... the answer to me is killing it altogether. I never want to hear it again. I don't want to ignore it. I don't want to overpower it. I want it gone. Get rid of it in a way that pops it out by it's roots and salts the earth so it's bullshit can never grow again. So you just decide to do something then just... do it. You decide to lose weight and just lose weight. You decide to stop fighting with your spouse and just do it.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway" is one approach, but this is the "erase the fear and do what you want." approach. Both work, but this will be easier for some

But that's where I need help. I have like a dozen different techniques that i developed that ALL work, but I need feedback on which ones are best/fastest and most effective.

So the secret to achievement is actually really simple... 'the secret to achieving anything is to have accurate beliefs'

To send a rocket to the moon you need accurate beliefs about physics. To start a multimillion dollar company you need need to create something people will pay for so you need accurate beliefs about economics and creating value. Conscious or unconscious.

You basically need an accurate map of reality in order to properly navigate it... which means beliefs that are not too pessimistic, and ones that are realistically optimistic (being optimistic but also working out a realistic plan.)

Shit is not hard. But the issue is most of our beliefs, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WE HAVE. Most of our beliefs are unconscious. Okay okay, what does 'unconscious' mean. For some, ‘unconscious’ conjures images of some weird concept that so vague that it can be nearly meaningless. But the unconscious mind isn't some magical fairy cranking knobs in your limbic system.. the unconscious is simply the emotional mind. It's the emotions you have that arent necessary articulated enough to result in a conscious thought. If you're around someone you feel is “weird” you may unconscious FEEL that there’s something “off,” about them (judgement) but can't consciously put your finger on it enough to literally have the cognitive thought in the language portion of the brain 'he's weird.' But still, the entire time you're talking to him you're just getting a weird sensation. These unconscious emotions influence your behavior far more than your thoughts. Psychologiest and neuroscientists know that 95% of our behaviors and thoughts are unconscious.

So these techniques are methods of pulling out your unconscious beliefs and throwing away the ones that are irrational

Okay enough theory.. next I'm going to show you the actual techniques



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By the way, I had to add something really important... When you're eliminating fears, if you come across anything related to fear of death, DO NOT TOUCH IT. Seriously, do NOT go eliminating any rational fears especially your fear of death. It is the dumbest thing you could possibly do, and it CAN be done with these techniques. If you truely eliminated your fear of death, you would literally not care if you lived or died. Do… not… eliminate… rational… fears. Do not eliminate your fear of walking into traffic, do not eliminate your fear of tongue-kissing snakes, do not eliminate your fear of walking naked in a supermarket. Anything with potentially REAL consequences, do not touch. You're eliminating irrational fears that are holding you back. "Oh but wouldn't life be great without fear and pain?!" Sounds pretty great right? Well let's look at a condition called Congenital insensitivity to pain where people don't feel pain. Sounds great right? Well actually it's one of the most dangerous conditions you can have.

Congenital insensitivity to pain is one or more rare conditions in which a person cannot feel (and has never felt) physical pain. Because feeling physical pain is vital for survival, CIP is an extremely dangerous condition. It is common for people with the condition to die in childhood due to injuries or illnesses going unnoticed. Burn injuries are among the more common injuries.

Seriously. Fear and pain are meant to protect you and save your life on a daily basis. If you eliminate rational fears you are very likely to sustain damage and possibly even death. At the very least you can do something totally stupid and embarass yourself. If you eliminate your fear of whipping your dick out to married women, I assure you.. you will learn that that is a very rational fear. "Oh but I cognitively know not to do that." Please just trust me. The logic portion of your brain has very little actual connections that influence behavior, which is why I'm posting this thread in the first place. If our logic controlled behavior well enough, then you'd have no issue sticking to your diet or whatever.

Irrational fears only. Please don't be stupid and make me regret posting this.

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Oh another edit:

This is very important too. If you've had any very serious traumas or phobias.. like, If you've been the victim of a serious crime or you've experienced a life-threatening event, don't attempt these methods and please see a professional. You'll be so glad you did. There are so many technologies (EMDR, IFS) that make those types of things easy these days. Someone I know got into a serious (life threatening) car accident and he was diagnosed with PTSD but after a few sessions of EMDR he was fine. If you're like that you'll be so so so glad when you have mental peace. Can you use the techniques here? Maybe. But there's a risk of an emotional upheaval and you really should have a qualified professional around. I don't recommend it.

The same goes for mental illness. While there are those who have had bad experiences (and tend to be very vocal aboput it) there are people absolutely thriving on the right medication. Jordan Peterson says ‘if society offers you a way out of your hellhole, TRY IT.’.. don't necessarily turn down a medication because someone anecdotally said they had a bad experience. Everyone is different, and it could really help.

 

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[ChrisV]

So okay, first technique. I'm gonna put each technique in a separate post then hopefully I'll get some feedback on how each one went.

And you can mix and match. You don't really have to stick with one technique.. consider it a 'toolkit.' use whichever tool is appropriate at the moment.

So okay we established that most of our behaviors stem from emotions. When we believe an action will bring us positive emotion, we are more likely to perform it. When we believe an action will bring us negative emotion, we are more likely to avoid it. But again, many of these beliefs are unconscious and irrational.

So this technique is about bringing what's hidden in the darkness into the light. I call this one "Guided Association." It's similar to Internal Family Systems and an older technique from Sigmund Freud.

All you do is think. Think about a subject you're having trouble with.. where you're not getting the results you want and just let your unconscious mind vent on the topic. Ask it... "Do you really want to acheieve X?" Let it speak it's mind. Don't censor it in any way. Just let your unconscious thoughts speak. You can guide it a LITTLE, and try to guide it toward what it's fears are. "What do you think would happen if we did X" to get to it's worst fears.. then let it vent about the worst possible outcomes. I mean let it talk about whatever.. but the worst outcomes are important.

Just let it vent. If it's mad let it scream. These are all unprocessed emotions and unprocessed emotions weigh down your very soul.

It will say horrible things but none of the stuff is says is true, it's just your demons speaking. This process gets rid of them. You can either do something like this and let them speak their minds or they'll just continue to whisper in your ear during your daily life. And whisper into the ears of your loved ones through you. And when I say 'whisper," i mean those times where it's like something possesses you with anger and you just can't control yourself. No bueno. I highly suggest grabbing these demons by the throat and hurling them into the sewer where they belong. You're taking the unconscious and bringing it into the light. This articulated them moving the thoughts from the area of the brain that's associated with constant fear and anxiety (the brain’s limbic system) and into the part of the brain that's associated with language and detailed comprehension (prefrontal cortex.) Once you've vented you can use this informations to rationally make decisions.

Just vent your feelings. Let your feelings speak their 'minds.' If you hear anything shocking, just roll with it. You will hear horrible things. But again, these are the voices that are speaking to you all day. So set yourself free from them.

If you live with others I HIGHLY suggest not doing this out loud. Your unconscious mind is going to say some things that are so unspeakably horrible that you would be embarassed to say them in front of the devil himself. Seriously. You likely have horrible horrible monsters living in you that you don't even know exist. Sometimes they come out during an argument with a loved one where you can be possessed to say THE most horrible thing in a manner that will hurt them the worst. Whether you realize it or not you likely have horrible horrible demons living in you and doing this will RIP them out and throw them back to hell. But you're going to hear some shocking shit from your mind. Seriously.. be prepared. But this is the stuff that's festering in your mind. Would you rather allowing those things to live rent-free in your mind without you knowing or would you rather get that disgusting crap out. They're like parasites feeding on your every thought and controlling your very movements. You will be mortified when you see what they look like, but glad you got rid of them. Each one feels like pulling out a disgusting parasite (or much much worse) that was living in your mind.

Seriously though.. don't try to censor yourself. Let your mind say what it's got to say. Let it vent. if it wants to scream or curse, let it. Screaming and cursing is associated with pain reduction and endorphin release. It can help processing emotions. Just let it vent. It's processing unprocessed emotions.

 

[socaldude]

The way I look at it is that the human body through its interaction with the environment, confuses you.

We can’t understand or make accurate representations of reality through our ego and body.

The conatus of the human body is the number one thing that interferes with our happiness and intelligence. Or as Plato put it more poetically, the human body is a weight on our soul.

You can try to put your principles in a logical format with propositions, axioms and definitions.

 

[ChrisV]

The way I look at it is that the human body through its interaction with the environment, confuses you.

We can’t understand or make accurate representations of reality through our ego and body.

The conatus of the human body is the number one thing that interferes with our happiness and intelligence. Or as Plato put it more poetically, the human body is a weight on our soul.

You can try to put your principles in a logical format with propositions, axioms and definitions.

YES.. i love it

One thing about human nature is how utterly BIASED we are. We think we're rational but arent always. Rationality can take training.

You can use these techniques on various things like "how do you feel about [political party]"

You run through and pull out all your unconscious thoughts about it and it's like this VEIL has been lifted.

Another example is, I grew up with what I considered a oppressive religious upbringing. And later i despised religion. I had all these rational reason why God didn't exist and religion was nonsense, but the reality was, it was simply emotions cluttering my perception, and religion helps people quite a bit.

I think you can't be a truly logical or scientific thinker with this unconscious junk floating around. It can form a veil over reality and make it harder to actually perceive. Humans historically hunted animals and lived in tribes and scientific thought was completely useless for 99.999999999% of our natural history.

I mean if you pay attention you can tell the differentce between what the logical and emotional mind is saying and differentiate between the two, but the emotional mind really can contribute to this veil.

And yes, i plan on making a more well-thought out, organized and bullet-pointed post but for right now I just wanted to get a few techniques out there. Will be posting more soon.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Wow, awesome value here my friend, thanks for posting this! Love these discussions, I think they're some of the most important topics to go over.

And I think you're right: the biggest reasons why people fail are ALL psychological.

Well it's simple, our minds simply don't do what we tell them to do. Our brains are disobedient little brats who only care about candy and video games. I mean.. if you've been on this planet for more than say...... 3 days, you know how goddamn hard it can be to get our minds to obey us. You know how hard it is to just 'decide' to do something and then just... do it.

I find that it's a muscle. I used to be at a point in my life where I had a hard time deciding stuff and then sticking to it. Nowadays, I have little trouble deciding things and sticking to it. In fact, it's harder for me to decide something and NOT stick to it. Decision is a muscle that can be trained. And I think it all has to do with how strongly your goal/desire is driving you. If you always keep your desire top of mind, then the engine is revved up to go in a certain direction, and making decisions, over time, becomes a piece of cake.

I mean do you think Elon Musk is walking around every day like 'okay i can't procrastinate.. i can't procrastinate.. let me go muster my willpower to send SpaceX to orbit?' Do you think these people are FORCING themselves to not play video games. Steve Jobs? Bill Gates? Can you imagine Steve Jobs white-knuckling an MacBook design? The notion is absurd.

hahahaha! Yeah, agreed. All these people you mentioned are DRIVEN by an overpowering goal or desire. They don't even have a choice BUT to pursue those goals. They are beasts. Elon is a beast. Elon would DIE if that's what it took to achieve his goals. He's not a pussy, "ughhh this is too hard", etc. etc. Imagine... he's willing to DIE to achieve his goal. No amount of pain is enough to make him give up.

they all require constantly reminding yourself to 'think positive' or 'be in the now.'

Is it possible NOT to need constant reminding?

I'm asking because it's an interesting question. You see, I believe managing your mind is like any other skill.

Don't use it, and you lose it.

So there needs to be constant practice to maintain skill.

I mean you can do the hardest thing in the world. Go through the deepest pain and handle it. But if you don't keep training, you'll LOSE that ability.

Willpower is a limited resource and even if you DO succeed in using it, it's like having to live your live with an anvil chained to your leg.

This is interesting, it all depends how you define willpower. Is willpower "forcing" yourself to do something, against your desires? I agree that that may be limited.

But there are other definitions that can be useful. Here's a very interesting thread on this:

MINDSET - The Ultimate Guide to Gaining Unlimited Willpower and Self-Discipline. No More Excuses.

Warning: Extremely Long Post Do you want to achieve things but can’t force yourself to do it? Do you tell yourself you’ll change but never do? I’m going to let you in on the biggest secret your self-help guru doesn’t want you to know. I’m going to teach you how to get anything and everything...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

In it, will power gets defined as keeping your biggest, long-term desire top of mind and being ready to pay the price for it, so that other desires don't interfere and stop you.

I think the model is powerful, I have been applying it, and it works. Almost better than anything else I've tried.

So you just decide to do something then just... do it. You decide to lose weight and just lose weight. You decide to stop fighting with your spouse and just do it.

Yes, I call this being integrated under one single system, where your parts don't fight against each other. Plato used to talk of the soul as formed of parts, and when the parts are in harmony, that's when we have psychological health.

I'm not a fan of the "feel the fear and do it anyway!" approach I'm a fan of "erase the fear and do what you want." I'm not spending my life fighting with my own mind.

Due to my background in ACT, I think I firmly disagree with you on this. "Erase the fear" is based off a very dangerous belief... namely that you need to first get rid of the fear to do something. In CBT terms, that's a rule that is governing your behavior. You think "Oh I feel fear, therefore I can't do this. I must first get rid of the fear and THEN do it". And paradoxically, this is EXACTLY what maintains the fear. Fear is the result of avoidance. And by maintaining the avoidance, you're maintaining the fear.

And in fact, this rule is at the heart of staying in your comfort zone and having a fixed mindset. If you think you must NOT have the fear to do something, then you'll never stretch yourself. You'll stay stuck in the fixed mindset.

Rather than this, my question is how can we produce people who DO NOT CARE about the fact that they're shitting their pants and go ahead and do it anyway?

Because life is hard. You will shit your pants. Whether you like it or not. My question is how can you shit your pants like a champ and still move forward?

I'd much rather have THAT, than not have any fear. And I've been working to become more and more capable of that over time, and I can tell you, if you can do this... you're almost unstoppable. You literarily become like an unrelenting beast...

And self-talk helps with this, but it must be REAL self-talk, self-talk that you believe in. If you're lying to yourself, like "I'm not scared", while you're shitting your pants, it's not going to work. Instead, if you say "This is important because ________ and I don't care that I feel the fear, I will do it anyway", that's different.

So it's actually really simple... 'the secret to achieving anything is to have accurate beliefs'

To send a rocket to the moon you need accurate beliefs about physics

To start a multimillion dollar company you need need to create something people will pay for so you need accurate beliefs about economics and creating value

You basically need an accurate map of reality in order to properly navigate it... which means beliefs that are not too pessimistic, and ones that are realistically optimistic (being optimistic but also work out a realistic plan.)

I also disagree about this. I think the secret to high achievement are INACCURATE beliefs - overly optimistic beliefs.

From here: Elon Musk and the Question of Overconfidence

So I am going to suggest that he [Elon Musk] is successful not because his visions are grand, not because he is extraordinarily smart and not because he works incredibly hard. All of those things are true. The one major important distinction that sets him apart is his inability to consider failure. It simply is not even in his thought process. He cannot conceive of failure and that is truly remarkable.

High achievers are NOT rational people. The psychiatrist's ideal of "perfect psychological health" is NOT the ideal of the high-achievers. I am quite confident that most high achievers would be considered neurotic, but high functioning by a psychiatrist or a psychologist. They are people overwhelmingly driven by a desire that does not CARE about reality almost. It does NOT.

Look at David Goggins. Elon Musk is closer to Goggins than to any exemplar of perfect psychological health that you could name.

Shit is not hard. But the issue is most of our beliefs, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WE HAVE. Most of our beliefs are unconscious.

100% -> most of what drives our behavior is unconscious and unacknowledged. In many cases those beliefs do NOT help us.

By the way, I had to add something really important... When you're eliminating fears, if you come across anything related to fear of death, DO NOT TOUCH IT. Seriously, do NOT go eliminating any rational fears especially your fear of death. It is the dumbest thing you could possibly do, and it CAN be done with these techniques. If you truely eliminated your fear of death, you would literally not care if you lived or died. And I'm serious about that. I know because I did it, and had to spend 3 days cleaning up the mess of my GARGANTUAN stupidity, and I was really lucky. I thought this was a good idea "oh well if i just eliminate the fear of death then i'll have no fear of ANYTHING... what could go wrong?" Well, it turns out a f*cking LOT can go wrong. Do... not... eliminate... rational.... fears. Do not eliminate your fear of walking into traffic, do not eliminate your fear of tongue-kissing snakes, do not eliminate your fear of walking naked in a supermarket. Anything with REAL consequences, do not touch. You're eliminating irrational fears that are holding you back. "Oh but wouldn't life be great without fear and pain?!" Sounds pretty great right? Well let's look at a condition called Congenital insensitivity to pain where people don't feel pain. Sounds great right? Well actually it's one of the single most dangerous conditions you can have.

I mostly agree with you, but it is debatable. I've read an interesting book awhile ago, which MJ recommends, Letting Go by David Hawkins.

One point that the author makes is that you do NOT need fear to keep you alive, and the very belief that you need fear to keep you alive is why fear persists. For example, do you need FEAR to prevent you from driving your car into the ocean and dying? Or is it rather LOVE for life that you need? And if you have LOVE, then there is no need of fear whatsoever to keep you alive. LOVE does a better job.

Some brief comments, will add more later!

 

[ChrisV]

Is it possible NOT to need constant reminding?

I'm asking because it's an interesting question. You see, I believe managing your mind is like any other skill

Yes, it is possible. You just systematically dismantle the false self that is driving these negative thoughts.

Negativity has a root. Similar to my techniques, CBT says there’s a core belief and from that stems “Automatic Thoughts”


Or the IFS version of this is Exile -> Protector -> Behavior/thoughts

But they’re all saying the similiar things. Go back to the INITIAL negative EXPERIENCE (sometimes very very negative) that’s at the root and by pulling that out the negative thoughts will cease.

Although it’s not necessarily about “positive thinking” (even though that’s another way.) It’s really about following intuition. There’s really not much desirable about a constant stream of positive thoughts because it’s like “okay man I gotta make coffee”... do you REALLY want to be blasted by a stream of unicorns and rainbows while you’re making coffee?


I mean Musk isn’t really a positive thinker... he just does what he does. I guess it depends on how you look at it.. he clearly doesn’t have any RESISTANCE toward doing the things he’s doing. It’s not so much about positive/negative as it about resistance/acceptance. Are your thoughts/behaviors in alignment and conducive with your overall goals and heart’s desires.

It’s really about alignment with your spiritual core. It’s about stripping away the unhelpful things that are NOT you and that society may have foisted upon you. That’s the false self.

 

[ChrisV]

This is interesting, it all depends how you define willpower. Is willpower "forcing" yourself to do something, against your desires? I agree that that may be limited.

Willpower is about having conflicting desires. You have a desire that is out of alignment with your goals, and then you try to forcefully overcome it. So like you want to lose weight. That’s your goal. The desire to gorge on cheesecake is out of alignment with your big goal. Then using willpower to OVERCOME the desire to eat cheesecake, which isn’t your real desire anyway.

It’s kinda silly if you think about it. You’re forcing yourself to do the things you want to do. It may be easier for some to just pull out the desire to eat cheesecake at the roots so all your mental faculties are honed in on one goal.

I mean willpower has it’s place for sure. It’s just not the only solution.

That’s why people fail at so many things. They have these conflicting motivations and ridiculous beliefs and operant conditioning (training) from when they were like... 6 that are still just crammed in their minds.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” is fine.. The ability to push through fear is a big deal, its better to have other tools in your toolkit.

You can have both. The ability to push through fear and then go home and erase the ones holding you back so you don’t have to spend as much energy pushing through fears.

One point that the author makes is that you do NOT need fear to keep you alive, and the very belief that you need fear to keep you alive is why fear persists. For example, do you need FEAR to prevent you from driving your car into the ocean and dying? Or is it rather LOVE for life that you need? And if you have LOVE, then there is no need of fear whatsoever to keep you alive. LOVE does a better job.

No you don’t need fear to prevent you from driving off a cliff, but if you encounter a bear that fear readies your body and puts it into Fight or Flight, which pumps out catecholamines like epinephrine, and norepinephrine which sends glucose to the muscles and readies you for danger.

If you encounter a mugger in a dark alley fear can ready your body. You can't just logically think of the reasons why you should run because it doesn't create the correct physiological response to help you escape danger.

It's like those stories about mothers mustering the strength to lift a car off their child. Those responses are not possible with logic alone. It stems from this absolute terror that your child might die which causes a physiological reaction ultimately resulting in ‘superhuman’ strength.

The problem is when fear is unconsciously directed at something you do WANT and then that fear actually pushes you away from attaining it. Fear is part of the approach/avoid mechanism. There are things you DO want to avoid in life and you need that animalistic response in some cases.

You just have to ask "is this fear getting in the way of what I want." Is it pushing me toward or away from the life I want to live. If it isn’t, leave it alone.

I mean love if life is fair enough but just please no one mess with anything related to fear of death unless you have like.. agoraphobia in which case you should see a professional.

I thought eliminating the fear of death was a good idea once (despite EVERYTHING in my mind saying ‘do NOT F*cking do that) and lost ALL motivation to do anything. After it realize the enormous stupidity of what I just did My brain stem literally started pulsing with the WORST pain you could possibly imagine. Thank God I didn’t get it all and still had JUST enough motivation and the knowledge of psychology to put the prices back together, but it could have ended badly. FEAR AND PAIN PROTECT YOU FROM DANGER. It’s just when this approach/avoid signal is misplaced and you have a “fear of success” or something that actively keeps you from trying. The trick is to use these approach/avoid signals and strategically place them in ways to push you forward rather than keeping you down.

Do not do it. I’ll literally take down this post. Much of we do as humans is to stay alive and create offspring to further enjoy life. Its hard to enjoy life if you die. Furthermore you’re rewiring your brain. There are a couple of neural pathways that act as like a “central hub” for basically everything in your brain. If your rewire the wrong one you can lose consciousness. I’m so F*cking serious about this. Anything related to fear of death, stay FAR FAR away. Those are “core operating system files” and F*cking with them is like deleting your System32 folder in Windows.

Do not do it. I’ll literally take down this post. Almost everything we as humans is to stay alive and reproduce to enjoy life and create offspring to enjoy life too. I mean you’re rewiring your brain. There are a couple of neural pathways that act as like a “central hub” for all your motivation. If your rewire the wrong one you can lose consciousness. I’m so F*cking serious about this. Anything related to fear of death, stay FAR FAR away. Those are “core operating system files” and F*cking with them is like altering code in your System32 folder in Windows. Don’t even OPEN that folder. You have no business there. You can really change your mental programming, but having root access to your brain requires you to be smart about what you do. Just remove the fears that hold you back. Fear is not bad, it’s MISPLACED fear that is bad. It’s this “PUSH” mechanism. You want to have them in places where you’re pushed to where you want rather than pushed away from what you want.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Goggins than to any exemplar of perfect psychological health

You lost me here.

IMO, if Goggins represents "perfect psychological health" then I represent the next Mr. Olympia.

After reading his book, I saw someone with severe mental issues and unresolved childhood trauma. Which kinda represents culture nowadays; the sick, ill, and crazed have become role models. If his standard is the standard for "perfect psychological health" then God help us.

I'd take Wim Hof or Michael Singer as role models for psychological health, not someone who consistently needs hospitalization for his "perfect psychological health".

 

[Mathuin]

You lost me here.

IMO, if Goggins represents "perfect psychological health" then I represent the next Mr. Olympia.

After reading his book, I saw someone with severe mental issues and unresolved childhood trauma. Which kinda represents culture nowadays, the sick , ill, and crazied have become role models. If his standard is the standard for "perfect psychological health" then God help us.

I'd take Wim Hof or Michael Singer as role models for psychological health, not someone who consistently needs hospitalization for his "perfect psychological health".

As soon as I saw the line about Goggins, I knew you were going to have a field day MJ Your review of “Can’t Heal Me” was awesome

 

[ChrisV]

David Hawkins

It’s actually funny you mention Hawkins because that’s exactly what you’re doing with these methods

Every spiritual tradition and religion in the world is based on this dichotomy of self vs ego, good vs evil, righteousness vs sin... but once you strip away the dogma and mythology they all have the same core.

From Hawkins’ Power vs Force:



This is why Christ taught Forgiveness and unconditional love and stated that “the kingdom is within.” Christ wasn’t teaching a bunch of rules for the sake of rules, he was trying to show people how to avoid some of the pitfalls life throws at you.

In fact the word “sin” is actually derived from the Hebrew “Chata” which was an archery term that mean “to miss the target,” (Basically to miss the point of life.) While today people believe these things to be some “unbreakable rule” the original word was more akin to “mistake.” Essentially a mistake that will lead to future suffering for yourself or (more importantly) those around you.

Hawkins framework is very good buy example fear and shame are handled by entirely different parts of the brain, and it’s a very good heuristic to have.

But that’s exactly what you’re doing.. I mean I’d you take it far enough you’ll hit the top rungs.

Tolle says:

“The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being.”

And also says:

“I love the Buddha’s simple definition of enlightenment as "the end of suffering." There is nothing superhuman in that, is there? Of course, as a definition, it is incomplete. It only tells you what enlightenment is not: no suffering. But what's left when there is no more suffering? The Buddha is silent on that, and his silence implies that you'll have to find out for yourself. He uses a negative definition so that the mind cannot make it into something to believe in or into a superhuman accomplishment, a goal that is impossible for you to attain. Despite this precaution, the majority of Buddhists still believe that enlightenment is for the Buddha, not for them, at least not in this lifetime”

And despite Christ’s very specific statements:

“Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Despite this warning, the vast majority of Christians believe that Heaven is only for when you die.

One of the most replicated findings in psychology is that the best predictor of life success and happiness is the ability to forgo instant gratification in favor of a better reward. Ie the ability to forgo the chocolate caramel double whopper in favor of feeling great after you’re your ideal weight. Well I mean, that’s much of what “sin” is... Lust, Gluttony, Sloth (laziness/procrastination.)

You don’t avoid “sin” necessary just because you want to reach the pearly gates in the sky.. it’s that a constant preference for immediate pleasures will eventually lead you to living in a crackhouse. Or insane gambling debt. Or constant procrastination. These behaviors will lead you straight to a place of intense suffering (sound familiar?)

But all negative emotion isn’t bad. You don’t want to feel fear all day (something akin to anxiety) but feeling a little fear when a car swerves into your lane that helps you move out of the way of danger is a fair trade. I’m not talking about the psychological condition of anxiety, I’m talking about specific fears in specific circumstances that help you avoid threat.

Just be careful eliminating rational fears. It can be really dangerous.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

You lost me here.

IMO, if Goggins represents "perfect psychological health" then I represent the next Mr. Olympia.

After reading his book, I saw someone with severe mental issues and unresolved childhood trauma. Which kinda represents culture nowadays; the sick, ill, and crazed have become role models. If his standard is the standard for "perfect psychological health" then God help us.

I'd take Wim Hof or Michael Singer as role models for psychological health, not someone who consistently needs hospitalization for his "perfect psychological health".

Right, I didn't mean to suggest Goggins represents "perfect psychological health", so if that's how it came across I apologise. Quite the contrary, I compared him with an exemplar of perfect psychological health negatively and suggested that Musk is more like Goggins, than like, say, Wim Hoff (who is closer to an exemplar of psychological health). I think Goggins does have mental issues, and if you check my comments in the thread with his book you will see likewise.

However, I do think that Musk behaves in an obsessive fashion, much like Goggins. Is this good for his health and well-being? Probably not. I wouldn't describe Musk as a very happy guy, just very driven.

The point I was making though, is that some of the highest achievers out there ARE driven to the point of obsession and inability to take their eyes off the ball. I don't personally think Michael Singer (in business) could compete with someone like Elon Musk and win, since they have different goals. Elon Musk wants success at any price. As he said in an interview, he'd have to be dead or incapacitated to give up on his companies and his mission. And because of this he's willing to do things that the other person simply isn't willing to do, because he's willing to pay a higher price for it. This makes competing with him very difficult.

Now the important question for the rest of us is if Elon Musk levels of success DO actually REQUIRE that sort of willingness to do anything, OR if you can also succeed to the same extent in a more "balanced" way, taking better care of your enjoyment of life and mental health.

 

[Santi M]

Hi Chris, great post, thank you for sharing.

I'm really curious about the first technique and I'm committed to practicing it in the next few days and see if I notice any changes.

But a couple of questions arose as I read your posts, especially regarding the 'not touching the fear to death' references:

1. Don't all fears end up being fear to death in your unconscious mind? Like, if you ask enough times why you are fearful of something, it will likely end up in fear of dying, or am I wrong? How do you go deep enough to confront your demons and fears of doing something without getting too deep (to your core fear that would be dying)? Oversimplified Example: Someone fears starting my business because they might lose the little money that they have. And, why do they fear losing their money? Because they won't be able to pay their bills. And why would they be fearful of that?.............. The final answer will probably be: 'because I fear death'. I hope I've made my point clear.

2. If a person suffers from Anxiety Disorder, so they are scared and thinking of the possibilities of dying in very unlikely situations. They would probably have to eliminate (partially) this fear of death because it is not rational. (To what extent? that's probably another question), so what would you say there? Maybe these techniques are not for solving Anxiety and they are more about just crushing specific unconscious thoughts?

Thanks for your time, your knowledge is always very valuable!

 

[ChrisV]

Oh by the way, psychology, neuroscience, religion... it's all the same shit. there's only one truth and every feild has a different way of approaching that truth (although there are definitely egoic delusions that shove them selves into each philosophy)... but i mean if you study all the different feilds they all point to the same reality:



It's all the same stuff..

it's all the same shit for thousands of years, but the same truth just keeps showing up in different packages

 

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[ChrisV]

Hi Chris, great post, thank you for sharing.

I'm really curious about the first technique and I'm committed to practicing it in the next few days and see if I notice any changes.

But a couple of questions arose as I read your posts, especially regarding the 'not touching the fear to death' references:

1. Don't all fears end up being fear to death in your unconscious mind? Like, if you ask enough times why you are fearful of something, it will likely end up in fear of dying, or am I wrong? How do you go deep enough to confront your demons and fears of doing something without getting too deep (to your core fear that would be dying)? Oversimplified Example: Someone fears starting my business because they might lose the little money that they have. And, why do they fear losing their money? Because they won't be able to pay their bills. And why would they be fearful of that?.............. The final answer will probably be: 'because I fear death'. I hope I've made my point clear.

2. If a person suffers from Anxiety Disorder, so they are scared and thinking of the possibilities of dying in very unlikely situations. They would probably have to eliminate (partially) this fear of death because it is not rational. (To what extent? that's probably another question), so what would you say there? Maybe these techniques are not for solving Anxiety and they are more about just crushing specific unconscious thoughts?

Thanks for your time, your knowledge is always very valuable!

Yes. Everything we do is due to the dichotomy of survival and death and replication and (err....) not replicating. Now I'm not saying we're just these autonomic protein robots that are simply programed to eat and f---, but we want to survive and make money because that will aid our survival etc etc etc. But yes, everything comes back to a desire to survive/fear of death. But fear of death is rational if you want to keep living. But you don't have to address the fear of death directly. Address the emotion that's associated with a fear of failure (for instance.) Sure, if you followed the fear of failure and use socratic questioning all the way back to the roots roots, you would eventually land on a fear of death. But just don't address the fear of death directly, address the fear of failure.

(Note there is an irrational fear of death or process of dying called Thanatophobia, but that’s not we’re talking about. Just don’t erase rational fears especially the rational version of fear of death)

If you guys don't believe me that fears help you, watch what happens when someone takes a lot of xanax or drinks a lot. I had an old friend when I was younger who spent a week eating xanax (which chemically eliminates fear and anxiety) and he did horrible horrible horrible things. For example, he told the boss at our job to go f--- himself, left a handful of very very romantic voicemails to his (now married) ex-girlfriend, fell through the ceiling at a clients house not once.. not twice.. not three times. But FOUR times. All because he took medication that inhibits the fear center of the brain.

People say 'i drink to ease my inhibition' and that's cool on a Saturday night with friends but you don't want to eliminate rational fears then walk into the supermarket and start asking married women for their numbers in front of their husbands. Don't think stuff like that can happen? Well just FYI, xanax doesnt significantly impact the logic portion of your brain. It only mitigates fear.

If you eliminate a rational fear, it will probably come back anyway. Because you'll almost certainly do something insanely stupid and life will smack you in the face to teach you to never do it again. The same goes for punishments for bad behavior (unless they were cruel or unusual)


The technique I mentioned will allow you to process the information in your unconscious and store it in the prefrontal cortex where it can be use rationally.

2. If a person suffers from Anxiety Disorder, so they are scared and thinking of the possibilities of dying in very unlikely situations. They would probably have to eliminate (partially) this fear of death because it is not rational. (To what extent? that's probably another question), so what would you say there? Maybe these techniques are not for solving Anxiety and they are more about just crushing specific unconscious thoughts?

Thanks for your time, your knowledge is always very valuable!

Oof this is a tough one.

Honestly.. the most responsible answer is to talk to a therapist. If you're dealing with any serious phobias or traumas there may be emotonal upheavals that a therapist should handle. At the very least get a good self-therapy book like Jay Earley's. If you absolutely insist toon trying the method I provided, just keep an eye out and watch that they're irrational fears.

Perhaps try to see if there's a root cause of your anxiety. Take the different automatic thoughts and ask 'what do you think would happen if you didnt hold this belief.'

So interestingly our negative beliefs are actually trying to protect us from something. Let's say someone gets rejected a lot by peers. And let's say the reason he gets rejected is because he has some behavior the other kids find annoying. The kid develops the belief 'I'm worthless.' We say 'omg that's horrible he believes that." but that belief is actually protecting him from rejection. If he started to believe "I'm worth a lot" without correcting the behaviors that were his peers found annoying, he would start trying to befriend them again, and they would likely just reject him (since he never changed the underlying behavior that was contributing to the rejection.) So the brain is just trying to protect him from pain. And pain is trying to ironically protect him from a loss of social status. I say ironiclly because if he just kept annoying them, it would be a real problem and they might hurt him physically to get him to go away.

Side note: with this stuff I'm going to speak raw unfiltered truth. Too much self-help would tell the kid 'nooooo! you're perfect just the way you are.. it's those other kids that are big meanies! you just keep being annoying to everyone and blame the world".. This 'blame the world, you're a perfect snowflake' mentality is poisonous and can keep people stuck in bad life situations. It's not blaming the victim. It's showing the victim how to take control of their life and get what they want.

But anyway, let's say one fear is being on the subway. You can think about or imagine yourself on a subway and see what thoughts come up. Let your unconscious mind spill it's guts. Sometimes you can guide it and ask 'what do you ultimately think will happen.'... if it says 'i think the entire thing is going to go off the rails and crash into a firey inferno' it's safe to say that's pretty irrational. You can Ask your rational mind 'is there actually a realistic possibility of this actually happening?' if it says 'no' then you're fine. I'm talking mostly about your actual fear of death

This is a pretty tough question and my honest answer is to see a therapist.

 

[socaldude]

I truly believe that the secret of a lot of professional athletes is similar to Maslow’s peak experiences.

Their body performs because they can detach themselves from certain mental limitations.

2. If a person suffers from Anxiety Disorder, so they are scared and thinking of the possibilities of dying in very unlikely situations

Freud said if a person can overcome their fear of death they can’t have any other fears. I believe this.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

At the very least get a good self-therapy book like Jay Earley's.

Great book, I've been reading it!

Side note: with this stuff I'm going to speak raw unfiltered truth. Too much self-help would tell the kid 'nooooo! you're perfect just the way you are.. it's those other kids that are big meanies! you just keep being annoying to everyone and blame the world".. This 'blame the world, you're a perfect snowflake' mentality is poisonous and keeps people stuck in life. And that's not blaming the victim. It's showing the victim how to take control of their life and get what they want.

100%... that's the biggest problem of self-help. You see it most, in my honest opinion, and I don't mean any disrespect to women, in many female influencers on Instagram. They tell each other and their followers that they're perfect just the way they are, and everyone who sees differently than them is a big meanie... just love yourself, you know the schtick. I think that's supremely poisonous.

But anyway, let's say one fear is being on the subway. You can think about or imagine yourself on a subway and see what thoughts come up. Let your unconscious mind spill it's guts. Sometimes you can guide it and ask 'what do you ultimately think will happen.'... if it says 'i think the entire thing is going to go off the rails and crash into a firey inferno' it's safe to say that's pretty irrational. You can Ask your rational mind 'is there actually a realistic possibility of this actually happening?' if it says 'no' then you're fine. I'm talking mostly about your actual fear of death

So, as you know, my brain is OCD. For my OCD brain, this way to resolve such a problem would never work. If I think that the entire subway will go off the rails and crash in a fiery inferno with no possibility of escape, then some images flash through my mind, and I start feeling anxious. The difference between the OCD brain and the regular brain, is that such intrusive thoughts/images would not occur to the regular brain when stepping in the subway. But they would to the OCD brain, because it is aware of a larger part of the unconscious than the regular brain.

So you tell me that the possibility of this happening is very small. And I will agree with you. It is. But it COULD happen. The fact that the possibility is small tells me nothing about the fact that it could happen. What you're trying to suggest to the regular brain is "quit worrying, this won't happen". And the regular brain has no problem making the connection between small probability and the event not happening.

But to the OCD brain, that's bullshit. I know very well that it could happen, and that 0.00001% could be this time. So it doesn't help to lie to myself does it? Because I don't buy that argument.

And I'd actually say that this, from my experience, is one of the biggest mistakes therapists make when treating anxiety disorders. They assume that they can convince their patients that they're not really in danger, when the truth is that they are, just that the danger is unlikely. The deeper problem though, is why isn't the person comfortable being in danger? Why is he so scared of being in danger? Why does he want to be certain that he's not in danger?

CBT for OCD needs to be aimed at getting the person comfortable living with the lack of certainty. NOT in trying to eliminate anxiety and gain certainty (that is the biggest mistake you can make). Because that's what the patient is already trying to do. Through the obsessions, through the compulsions, through thinking about it, researching it, and so on, the patient is trying to eliminate the anxiety, and paradoxically, that's why the anxiety continues and gets reinforced. Because fundamentally, the danger IS real. How can he convince himself that the danger is not real, when it actually is? That sort of brainwashing is very difficult.

What is required to deal with anxiety is to embrace it. I actually have a challenge for you. One thing that I'm afraid of is heights. I can't even approach a balcony's edge without feeling afraid. I mean I do it, but I always feel afraid and dizzy. So give me some technique that you want me to try, and I will approach the edge after I practice it, and see if the fear is still there. I doubt that I can eliminate this fear just by practicing some technique, without actually having to go face it, and withstand feeling it for a long enough period of time to get habituated to it. So if you think I can, I'd be happy to be a guinea pig

I will let you know what goes through my mind as I approach an edge of a balcony, or look down when on a set of stairs. Basically I picture myself falling, and not being able to stop, until I hit the ground and blood splashes everywhere. I basically see myself stumbling or falling by accident off the edge. Maybe getting dizzy, losing my balance, and falling off the edge. That's what goes through my head.

He told the boss at our job to go f--- himself,

Sounds like he finally grew a pair... (just joking, I agree with your points).

 

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[Devampre]

Interesting thread. I will try this first technique out although I do feel as though I often let my unconscious demons speak internally; especially if I'm not doing anything that requires a great deal of focus.

 

[Madame Peccato]

So okay, first technique. I'm gonna put each technique in a separate post then hopefully I'll get some feedback on how each one went.

And you can mix and match. You don't really have to stick with one technique.. consider it a 'toolkit.' use whichever tool is appropriate at the moment.

So okay we established that most of our behaviors stem from emotions. When we believe an action will bring us positive emotion, we perform it. When we believe an action will bring us negative emotion, we avoid it. But again, many of these beliefs are unconscious and irrational.

So this technique is about bringing what's hidden in the darkness into the light. I cann this one "Guided Association." It's an offshoot of Internal Family Systems and a very old technique from Freud.

All you do is think. Think about a subject you're having trouble with.. where you're not getting the results you want and just let your unconscious mind vent on the topic. Ask it... "Do you really want to acheieve X?" LEt it speak it's mind. Don't censor it in any way. Just let your unconscious thoughts speak. You can guide it a LITTLE, and try to guide it toward what it's fears are. "What do you think would happen if we did X" to get to it's worst fears.. then let it vent about the worst possible outcomes. I mean let it talk about whatever.. but the worst outcomes are important.

Just let it vent. If it's mad let it scream. These are all unprocessed emotions and unprocessed emotions weigh down your very SOUL.

It will say horrible things but none of the shit is says is true, it's just your demons speaking. This process gets rid of them. You either do something like this and let them speak their minds or they'll just continue to whisper in your ear during your daily life. And whisper into the ears of your loved ones through you. And when I say 'whisper," i mean those times where it's like something possesses you with anger and you just can't control yourself. No bueno. I highly suggest grabbing these demons by the throat and hurling them into the sewer where they belong. You're taking the unconscious and bringing it into the light. This moves these thoughts from the area of the brain that's associated with constant fear and anxiety (limbic system) and into the part of the brain that's associated with detailed comprehension (prefrontal cortex.) Once you've vented you can use this informations to rationally make decisions.

Just vent your feelings. Let your feelings speak their 'minds.' If you hear anything shocking, just roll with it. You will hear horrible things. But again, these are the voices that are speaking to you all day. So set them free.

If you live with family i HIGHLY suggest not doing this out loud. Your unconscious mind is going to say some things that are so unspeakably horrible that you would be embarassed to say them in front of Satan himself. Seriously. You have horrible horrible monsters living in you that you don't even know exist. Sometimes they come out during an argument with a loved one where you just say THE most horrible thing in a manner that will hurt them the worst. Whether you realize it or not you have horrible horrible demons living in you and doing this will RIP them out and throw them back to hell. But you're going to hear some shocking shit from your mind. Seriously.. be prepared. But this is the stuff that's festering in your mind. Would you rather allowing those things to live rent-free in your mind without you knowing or would you rather get that disgusting shitt. They're like parasites feeding on your every thought and controlling your very movements. You will be mortified when you see what they look like, but glad you got rid of them. Each one feels like pulling out a disgusting bug (or much much worse) that was living in your mind.

Seriously though.. don't try to censor yourself. Let your mind say what it's got to say. Let it vent. if it wants to scream or curse, let it. Screming and cursing is associated with pain reduction and endorphin release. It's part of processing emotions. Just let it vent. It's processing unprocessed emotions.

I attempted this for my nail biting. I never managed to stop doing it (I'm 29 for the record). But after trying it the day after this post, I have never felt the need to look at my nails, let alone bite them.

It used to be a continued struggle of "don't bite them don't bite them don't bite them" while my hand would automatically move towards my mouth. I couldn't even stop once my fingers were in my mouth.

As you can easily guess, I tried everything to stop. Even NLP failed. So I thought "might as well give this a go, what do I have to lose?"

It's been 2 weeks and my nails are now...nails. I've had my inner demons scream some vile stuff at me. It wasn't pretty. Luckily, I knew it was all fake.

I felt very minimal urges twice since then, so I sat down with myself and went through the technique again. The voice was much weaker and basically disappeared after a minute or so.

So far so good. Thanks @ChrisV!

 

[ChrisV]

sorry i abandoned this thread, I’ve been crazy busy

listen, this stuff is basically the secret to life... it’s where everything comes together... Locus of Control is the most important thing to success and Locus of Control is a function of what level of consciousness you’re at...




Limiting beliefs.. spirituality.. self help.. whatever.. all the same stuff different lingo.

Christ said “Do not worry about ‘what shall we eat, what shall we drink what shall we wear, but seek first the Kingdom of God and all those things will be added to you as well.”

but made it clear many times “the Kingdom of Heaven is within” or “the kingdom of God is at hand”

Buddha said “we become what we think about”

whoever you want to listen to.. or listen to all of them.. whatever. it’s talking about finding your OWN power within and then building whatever life you want from there. it’s the only way to do it.

whatever you want to calll it... Enlightenment, Kingdom of Heaven. it’s just the same shit in different packages honestly.

Law of Attraction, Karma, Heaven within... whatever.. make up your own lingo if you want.. again it’s all the same thing using different metaphors



All the same stuff man... seriously. And it’s it’s is absolutely essential to creating the life you want. once you stop worrying about dumb shit and limiting beliefs life just flows for you.

If you actually want to acheieve this mindset i highly recommend Internal Family Systems Therapy, Freud’s Free Association method and Jordan Peterson’s videos on removing trauma.

but a side note you don’t want to remove ALL of the challenges of life... because challenge is what makes life fun... but you want a degree of control over it so you’re not pushed around by life... i agree with @Kak on this... a 90% internal Locus of Control is about ideal.. 100% there are no surprises or challenges or growth but if it’s too low the life pushes you around. you just want to be above it all so you can choose which challenges you want rather than having life hand you random mountains of bullshit. Life can be brutal in that headspace.

anyway

@MJ DeMarco is there anyway you can take this out of the Speedway and put it in the main forum? I’ll probably be giving this some more attention in the coming weeks or whatever amount of time.

And sorry i haven’t read all the replies yet I’m just so busy that I’ll have to get to it sometime later.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

sorry i abandoned this thread, I’ve been crazy busy

listen, this stuff is basically the secret to life... it’s where everything comes together... Locus of Control is the most important thing to success and Locus of Control is a function of what level of consciousness you’re at...

View attachment 38681
View attachment 38682

Limiting beliefs.. spirituality.. self help.. whatever.. all the same stuff different lingo.

Christ said “Do not worry about ‘what shall we eat, what shall we drink what shall we wear, but seek first the Kingdom of God and all those things will be added to you as well.”

but made it clear many times “the Kingdom of Heaven is within” or “the kingdom of God is at hand”

Buddha said “we become what we think about”

whoever you want to listen to.. or listen to all of them.. whatever. it’s talking about finding your OWN power within and then building whatever life you want from there. it’s the only way to do it.

whatever you want to calll it... Enlightenment, Kingdom of Heaven. it’s just the same shit in different packages honestly.

Law of Attraction, Karma, Heaven within... whatever.. make up your own lingo if you want.. again it’s all the same thing using different metaphors

View attachment 38680

All the same stuff man... seriously. And it’s it’s is absolutely essential to creating the life you want. once you stop worrying about dumb shit and limiting beliefs life just flows for you.

If you actually want to acheieve this mindset i highly recommend Internal Family Systems Therapy, Freud’s Free Association method and Jordan Peterson’s videos on removing trauma.

but a side note you don’t want to remove ALL of the challenges of life... because challenge is what makes life fun... but you want a degree of control over it so you’re not pushed around by life... i agree with @Kak on this... a 90% internal Locus of Control is about ideal.. 100% there are no surprises or challenges or growth but if it’s too low the life pushes you around. you just want to be above it all so you can choose which challenges you want rather than having life hand you random mountains of bullshit. Life can be brutal in that headspace.

anyway

@MJ DeMarco is there anyway you can take this out of the Speedway and put it in the main forum? I’ll probably be giving this some more attention in the coming weeks or whatever amount of time.

And sorry i haven’t read all the replies yet I’m just so busy that I’ll have to get to it sometime later.

Love Hawkins' Consciousness ratings....

@MJ DeMarco is there anyway you can take this out of the Speedway and put it in the main forum? I’ll probably be giving this some more attention in the coming weeks or whatever amount of time.

Done!

 

[socaldude]

It’s those negative emotions that keep you from seeing truth. Once you cross reason you can see truth but only from within yourself.

“I looked away for a moment, then my life began.”-Buddha

Christ said “Do not worry about ‘what shall we eat, what shall we drink what shall we wear, but seek first the Kingdom of God and all those things will be added to you as well.”

I think it’s a sign of intelligence to read religion with an open mind. I’m not religious but I can see the metaphorical truth in it. Wasn’t designed to be interpreted literally and with our ego. And not good to immediately reject something.

 

[ChrisV]

Love Hawkins' Consciousness ratings....



Done!

thanks appreciate it

Hawkins also has some amazing, completely underrated YouTube videos. He’s an actual PhD who attained enlightenment and that middle ground between science and spirituality is absolutely beastly.

It’s those negative emotions that keep you from seeing truth. Once you cross reason you can see truth but only from within yourself.

“I looked away for a moment, then my life began.”-Buddha




I think it’s a sign of intelligence to read religion with an open mind. I’m not religious but I can see the metaphorical truth in it. Wasn’t designed to be interpreted literally and with our ego. And not good to immediately reject something.

my mom always said “religion is man-made, but spirituality is God-made”

—————————————————-

listen guys i made some comments earlier in the thread about ‘fear of death’ and the truth is you’ll eventually have to also handle your fear of death... but it’s one of the LAST fears you should handle. fear of death is basically the key to Enlightenment BUT if you do it too early you’ll see things you’re not ready to see... beautiful magestic things, but your ego will still be there when you get back and will get hold of those beautiful magestic things and really screw you up. it’s called a “dark night of the soul” (you can look it up) and it basically feels like ‘hell.’

your intuition (which some say is your connection to the spiritual realm) will flare up when it’s time to handle fear of death.. but it’s one of the last attachments that should go.

but i promise I’ll get to the rest of the replies when i can

 

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[ChrisV]

so okay next technique:

take EVERY negative memory you have and apply the Guided Association technique.

“wait every memory? how the heck will i do that”

it’s easier than you think.. I’ll show you.

erase negative emotion however you have to. forgive every person that has ever harmed you. “every person? there are people i don’t want to forgive” well do you want to suffer or not. that’s the question.
The way you extract the lesson is take every memories that you can remember and use the technique on it where you just VENT and articulate what you unconsciously felt about the situation and put it into words. This takes what is unconscious and hidden in the dark areas of your mind and brings them into the light. You will forgive but not forget. It will no longer weight you down but make you smarter. You do this with ALL your memories and you will eventually see the Kingdom of Paradise before you. “ALL my memories? i can’t even remember what i ate for breakfast.” All your emotional memories. you do it once and you’ll start to clear away the large trees then you can see the brush between them.

If you’re still in that negative situation leave it. then it’s helping you.

Follow your intuition, it will guide you.

do this until you can comfortably look at your memories.

This will massively help you attain your goals because you’ll be removing mental clutter that contributes to irrational beliefs and worldviews. This will lead to a more peaceful/positive outlook on life.

Like the New Testament says: “Do not ask, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, what shall we wear? for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God, and it’s righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you as well.”

Read the Sermon on the Mount:

“Why take thought about clothing? Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not.”...“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Basically: handle your mental health and life will just work out. It’s really that simple. You’ll achieve whatever you want after that.

 

[socaldude]

erase negative emotion however you have to. forgive every person that has ever harmed you. “every person? there are people i don’t want to forgive” well do you want to suffer or not. that’s the question.

Here is an interesting idea. All of our emotional responses are created by our own mind. So it follows that nobody can make us a victim of anything. It’s an illusion because the experience is only the catalyst and happens at the same time the emotion happens. It’s not the cause. Focusing on the cause gives us the power to overcome the negativity.

 

[BlackMagician]

So okay, first technique. I'm gonna put each technique in a separate post then hopefully I'll get some feedback on how each one went.

And you can mix and match. You don't really have to stick with one technique.. consider it a 'toolkit.' use whichever tool is appropriate at the moment.

So okay we established that most of our behaviors stem from emotions. When we believe an action will bring us positive emotion, we perform it. When we believe an action will bring us negative emotion, we avoid it. But again, many of these beliefs are unconscious and irrational.

So this technique is about bringing what's hidden in the darkness into the light. I cann this one "Guided Association." It's an offshoot of Internal Family Systems and a very old technique from Freud.

All you do is think. Think about a subject you're having trouble with.. where you're not getting the results you want and just let your unconscious mind vent on the topic. Ask it... "Do you really want to acheieve X?" LEt it speak it's mind. Don't censor it in any way. Just let your unconscious thoughts speak. You can guide it a LITTLE, and try to guide it toward what it's fears are. "What do you think would happen if we did X" to get to it's worst fears.. then let it vent about the worst possible outcomes. I mean let it talk about whatever.. but the worst outcomes are important.

Just let it vent. If it's mad let it scream. These are all unprocessed emotions and unprocessed emotions weigh down your very SOUL.

It will say horrible things but none of the shit is says is true, it's just your demons speaking. This process gets rid of them. You either do something like this and let them speak their minds or they'll just continue to whisper in your ear during your daily life. And whisper into the ears of your loved ones through you. And when I say 'whisper," i mean those times where it's like something possesses you with anger and you just can't control yourself. No bueno. I highly suggest grabbing these demons by the throat and hurling them into the sewer where they belong. You're taking the unconscious and bringing it into the light. This moves these thoughts from the area of the brain that's associated with constant fear and anxiety (limbic system) and into the part of the brain that's associated with detailed comprehension (prefrontal cortex.) Once you've vented you can use this informations to rationally make decisions.

Just vent your feelings. Let your feelings speak their 'minds.' If you hear anything shocking, just roll with it. You will hear horrible things. But again, these are the voices that are speaking to you all day. So set them free.

If you live with family i HIGHLY suggest not doing this out loud. Your unconscious mind is going to say some things that are so unspeakably horrible that you would be embarassed to say them in front of Satan himself. Seriously. You have horrible horrible monsters living in you that you don't even know exist. Sometimes they come out during an argument with a loved one where you just say THE most horrible thing in a manner that will hurt them the worst. Whether you realize it or not you have horrible horrible demons living in you and doing this will RIP them out and throw them back to hell. But you're going to hear some shocking shit from your mind. Seriously.. be prepared. But this is the stuff that's festering in your mind. Would you rather allowing those things to live rent-free in your mind without you knowing or would you rather get that disgusting shitt. They're like parasites feeding on your every thought and controlling your very movements. You will be mortified when you see what they look like, but glad you got rid of them. Each one feels like pulling out a disgusting bug (or much much worse) that was living in your mind.

Seriously though.. don't try to censor yourself. Let your mind say what it's got to say. Let it vent. if it wants to scream or curse, let it. Screming and cursing is associated with pain reduction and endorphin release. It's part of processing emotions. Just let it vent. It's processing unprocessed emotions.

I am going to try this but i am still confused on how to apply this. I am having trouble with one bad habit. How should i go and use this technique to get rid of my habit. Its similar to nails biting. I don't know how to describe that habit.
Let me try:
4 years ago, i had cold for few days and my nose always gets block. At that time, i try to clear my nose by inhaling the fluids. By doing that, the fluids flow from my nose to my mouth. I think there is a wind pipe there.
Because of doing this many times, it became habit. Even after i was back to health, i keep inhaling the fluids from nose to mouth.

This habit has been a nightmare to me as i tried everything i could.

So how should i proceed with this technique here?

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

I am going to try this but i am still confused on how to apply this. I am having trouble with one bad habit. How should i go and use this technique to get rid of my habit. Its similar to nails biting. I don't know how to describe that habit.
Let me try:
4 years ago, i had cold for few days and my nose always gets block. At that time, i try to clear my nose by inhaling the fluids. By doing that, the fluids flow from my nose to my mouth. I think there is a wind pipe there.
Because of doing this many times, it became habit. Even after i was back to health, i keep inhaling the fluids from nose to mouth.

This habit has been a nightmare to me as i tried everything i could.

So how should i proceed with this technique here?

Your problem doesn’t seem to be psychological to me, at least based on your description.

A possible condition is: Treatments for post-nasal drip - Harvard Health

Personally I don’t think that’s the case though. Having some drainage from the nose to the throat is normal, and in fact, I even have mucus there now that I think about it and search for it.

The difference is that “normal” people aren’t hyper-aware of it. It seems to me that, because of the blocked nose situation, you’ve trained your body to be hyperaware of the sensation in your throat. That means that you perceive it to be bigger and a lot more annoying than it really is. Trust me, using your mind, you can convince yourself even that you have a lump in there that doesn’t let you swallow anymore, and you can actually feel it and not be able to swallow! Hypochondriacs experience this frequently.

So being overly vigilant over your body’s sensations is likely to amplify them. Try to forget it for awhile and see what happens.

 

[ChrisV]

I am going to try this but i am still confused on how to apply this. I am having trouble with one bad habit. How should i go and use this technique to get rid of my habit. Its similar to nails biting. I don't know how to describe that habit.
Let me try:
4 years ago, i had cold for few days and my nose always gets block. At that time, i try to clear my nose by inhaling the fluids. By doing that, the fluids flow from my nose to my mouth. I think there is a wind pipe there.
Because of doing this many times, it became habit. Even after i was back to health, i keep inhaling the fluids from nose to mouth.

This habit has been a nightmare to me as i tried everything i could.

So how should i proceed with this technique here?

everything you just said were beliefs you hold... take that subject you told me and just think about it. vent about the problem. let your unconscious mind spill it’s guts.

after doing that find the roots of the issue and do the same

but as said above it seems like an actual medical issue. but this technique CAN at least help you to not be driven crazy by it and if there are any behavioral aspects it could help with those

 

[Dora Wi]

I really don't feel like spending 20 years reminding myself to be "present" ... I mean sure I guess it's better than having to listen to your mind's insane ramblings but to me the answer to me isn't suppressing that voice... the answer to me is murdering it. I never want to hear it again. I don't want to ignore it. I don't want to overpower it. I want it gone. Get rid of it in a way that pops it out by it's roots and salts the earth so it's bullshit can never grow again.

But is that possible? I agree with you that often self-help authors tell us to just think positively/suppress negative thoughts and that is not a great approach, but to me this doesn't sound realistic. Usually to change anything in your life it's not a decision you make once and then it's done - you have to make the decision every single day. By your example of weight loss, you have to choose behaviours every single day that support your weightloss - even if you're feeling lazy, unmotivated, tired, whatever - because there is nothing that can guarantee that you will never have urges to do things that are counterproductive to your goals.
For example venting things that are going on below the surface of your conscious thoughts can be a good thing in and of itself, but it sounds like a temporary solution. How do you know those thoughts won't just stay there? They might be rooted deeply in existing problems in your life and in stuff that happened to you in the past (and you don't have to have trauma, seemingly minor things can leave life-long marks in our thinking patterns).

Long story short, our subconscious/unconscious behaviours and thoughts are extremely powerful and in many cases we should become aware of them and try to tackle them, but to say they can be murdered sounds like an oversimplification to me.

 

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[ChrisV]

You basically treat your brain/mind as if it’s a programmable computer. Does EVERYONE have the fear you have? The programming language of the brain is operant conditioning. There’s some experience that programmed you that way. It’s dark. People are programmed. I find the trick is to go back and edit your mind to give it the programming you want. And the techniques here are showing you how to edit the files of your mind so that you’re no longer trapped by your conditioning. It’s nasty stuff to be programmed in a way that doesn’t deliver the life you want. I want to show people how to edit the files of the mind.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

But is that possible? I agree with you that often self-help authors tell us to just think positively/suppress negative thoughts and that is not a great approach, but to me this doesn't sound realistic. Usually to change anything in your life it's not a decision you make once and then it's done - you have to make the decision every single day. By your example of weight loss, you have to choose behaviours every single day that support your weightloss - even if you're feeling lazy, unmotivated, tired, whatever - because there is nothing that can guarantee that you will never have urges to do things that are counterproductive to your goals.
For example venting things that are going on below the surface of your conscious thoughts can be a good thing in and of itself, but it sounds like a temporary solution. How do you know those thoughts won't just stay there? They might be rooted deeply in existing problems in your life and in stuff that happened to you in the past (and you don't have to have trauma, seemingly minor things can leave life-long marks in our thinking patterns).

Long story short, our subconscious/unconscious behaviours and thoughts are extremely powerful and in many cases we should become aware of them and try to tackle them, but to say they can be murdered sounds like an oversimplification to me.

You basically treat your brain/mind as if it’s a programmable computer. Does EVERYONE have the fear you have? The programming language of the brain is operant conditioning. There’s some experience that programmed you that way. It’s dark. People are programmed. I find the trick is to go back and edit your mind to give it the programming you want. And the techniques here are showing you how to edit the files of your mind so that you’re no longer trapped by your conditioning. It’s nasty stuff to be programmed in a way that doesn’t deliver the life you want. I want to show people how to edit the files of the mind.

A lot of the stuff Chris talks about is going back to the idea of memory reconsolidation:

You Can Change the Past: Using Active Mindfulness to Rescript Difficult Memories - Buddhistdoor Global

Beyond accepting the past, we can actively change it and...

www.buddhistdoor.net

Basically it's the theory that what causes the psychological issue you are faced with is not so much a belief, thought, behavior, or emotion, but rather a certain memory which gets activated in certain situations (possibly not even consciously) and triggers the beliefs, thoughts, behaviors and emotions. As such, the memory predetermines the "felt-sense" of reality that you have, and is more primal than your beliefs (which under CBT are thought to be the foundation).

Now the way to heal, or as Chris says to "reprogram" your mind is to access those memories, and invert the felt emotional sense of them while they're active. If you can do that, your memory locks up with the new emotional sense, and the old one gets overwritten. As such, whatever used to trigger the cascade of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, etc. is no longer present, and all of them fall apart.

Now is this possible? Absolutely. Is it easy? No, obviously.