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How I started meeting people, making friends quickly, and improved my dating life as a entrepreneur

Johnny boy

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This isn’t geared at someone older with a family because I’m not one of those people. I’m a 22 year old dude that likes 22 year old dude stuff.

I recently just moved to a lake house. It’s my first place, and I rent. I live in Washington state.

I used to go to school, and I had baseball teammates and classmates. That was fun.

Then I went to college for baseball and stuck together with the team there and still had some fun.

And then I sold cars and had coworkers and that was less fun but still not terrible.

And then I started my business and had NO ONE. It sucked.

The only people I talked to were customers, employees, other business people, and you guys. Not much of a vibrant social circle for Friday nights (sorry guys). And it was not a lot of fun being cut off from everyone.

But of course I needed the time to focus on my business. I could only dive deep into the nuances when having lots of time to focus with no distractions, but eventually things take a toll on you. You become slightly depressed, a little less like yourself and more robotic. You question why you’re doing this at all. I love business like a dog loves T-bone steaks, but we all need a social circle. At least I do. I told myself I didn’t and then I slowly just started to socially die inside and confidence started evaporating out of me without me even knowing.

Thinking I could replace everything from before in the same way by getting friends from “networking groups” and doing that lame stuff was a compete joke. So many people are losers and I was just being dragged down to their level socially. I did meet some awesome people from this place but how many of you are within 20 minutes away and have any free time?

So what did I do?

I threw a party.

I hopped on tinder and told tons girls I was having a lake house party and they were invited and if they wanted they could bring a guy.

The first one was an average party. Every girl there thought I was a tool at first for only inviting tinder girls. And it made me look like a loser. “U don’t know anyone to have at the party? U have any friends?” “Uh...I have a couple. Oh I know some guys from an Internet forum...” lol no chance I’m saying that out loud.

Well, I made friends with some army rangers who were tatted up and regularly hooked up with a few new girls every single week.

The next party, I invited them again and only had girls, much better party. Crazy time.

The next day, I got invited to their party. Another fun time. The next day I got invited out to play volleyball.

We agreed the future parties would be just us 3 dudes and whatever girls we wanted to bring.

So now I’m hanging out with cool guys who are like me, I’m spending more of my time surrounded by people who are socially killing it which is bringing me back to my old cool self again, and I’m having a much better dating life if you haven’t guessed by now.

This is not a PUA forum so I get it. Not the best place to be saying “bro throw a party and bring some girls bro”, but I have a strong suspicious feeling that lots of you entrepreneurs out there are lonely as hell and wonder why being an adult is so much less fun than being young. I don’t think it has to be and I don’t accept mediocre situations. I make changes.

If you’re struggling socially, I think if you can have a party and let people “use” you a little, then let them meet you and see how cool you can be, and then use that to make friends and build up a better social life from scratch. Now, I’ve got things going on all week like I was back in school. I refuse to be the lonely rich man who regrets his choices. And I will not rely on just having coworkers or classmates to make friends. I don’t want to just go to the club either. That’s no fun at all.

As a bonus, everyone I’m meeting now is blown away I don’t have a “job” lol. They think it must be my dads company or something. Haha!

Don’t try to pretend you are better off not well rounded and excuse yourself of developing yourself socially. I did that and it hurt me. Don’t do it to yourself too. 8E8E48A9-920E-4CED-BC6D-52FB7C56BCB2.jpeg
 
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Mircea Toma

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Hello There! You read my mind and I really have the same struggles as you have.

I am currently trying to build a business from scratch but feeling dead because I have almost to no social life.
Wondering what shall I really do, I cannot afford to throw a house party.

But, I am happy for you! I should really start going out to more networking events and events in general maybe.

Inspiring post!
 

Matt Hunt

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Right on. I've talked to several people who seem to think that if they have their own business, or if they were retired, that they'd have no friends. That doesn't have to be true, you just have to make an effort to find friends in new ways than finding them at work.
 

Olimac21

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The biggest takeaway from your post is to offer value first and then people will naturally associate with you, whether that means throwing a party, offering to teach a skill or just being proactive towards social events. Probably 1-2% of people are the starters and the rest they wait for that 1-2% to propose activities/hangouts to do.
 
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Timmy C

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I can relate to alot of this post.

I am going to a social thing in a few weeks, as I just need some fun after months toiling away, scrimping and saving, working on business things.

I don't have alot of friends these days, people invite me out but I am cautious as to who I spend my time with, I have made that mistake in the past.
 

gryfny

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Inviting strangers to a house party is a big risk. I've heard many stories of stuff being wrecked/stolen. But good to hear it worked out for you! More power to you!

Another way to meet people is to join a club. I've joined a local gunrange, which is great because many people come alone and like to hang out at the bar before or after.
 

Johnny boy

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Inviting strangers to a house party is a big risk. I've heard many stories of stuff being wrecked/stolen. But good to hear it worked out for you! More power to you!

Another way to meet people is to join a club. I've joined a local gunrange, which is great because many people come alone and like to hang out at the bar before or after.

Guns are fun. My ideal social circle probably isn’t the 50 year old guys at a gun range.

And to be honest I got drunk and forgot to hide some money sitting out and it literally didn’t get touched. Very stupid but I was impressed the next morning .

The only problem was being up at 2am with neighbors threatening to call the police. Definitely wouldn’t be good for me.
 
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Olimac21

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Another way to "win friends" (Dale carnegie lol) is to give small gifts when meeting some new people. Of course not in a pushy/ con man way but some small gestures like giving a book you already read, a souvenir from your hometown or simply buying a drink.
 

Johnny boy

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Another way to "win friends" (Dale carnegie lol) is to give small gifts when meeting some new people. Of course not in a pushy/ con man way but some small gestures like giving a book you already read, a souvenir from your hometown or simply buying a drink.

Yeah.

I think the best roi of this is how affects your personality. Normal life makes you lame. Imagine how you’d act if you were on a college baseball team as opposed to spending your time old ladies signing them up for lawn care plans.
 

wade1mil

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On a side note, when I was in my prime, you'd go 0-4 with 2 K's. Jk nice story dude.
 
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JordanK

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I'm really happy you posted this thread as I'm in a really similar situation. 21 years old running a Real Estate business that includes interacting with mainly older dudes 95% of the time. I moved to a new city to pursue this opportunity and while I do have a lot of friends from Sept-May here many of them have left the city to go traveling for the summer. I'm making really great money and live in one of the best locations in the city but even still I went and got myself a job working at a bar a few nights a week. It's nice to have co-workers of similar age and we organize parties and different events like mountain climbing or just random days out.
 

Johnny boy

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I'm really happy you posted this thread as I'm in a really similar situation. 21 years old running a Real Estate business that includes interacting with mainly older dudes 95% of the time. I moved to a new city to pursue this opportunity and while I do have a lot of friends from Sept-May here many of them have left the city to go traveling for the summer. I'm making really great money and live in one of the best locations in the city but even still I went and got myself a job working at a bar a few nights a week. It's nice to have co-workers of similar age and we organize parties and different events like mountain climbing or just random days out.

Message me if you wanna chat about details haha
 

WillHurtDontCare

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Well, I made friends with some army rangers who were tatted up and regularly hooked up with a few new girls every single week.

How did you do that? I'm interested in making friends with military people just because they're different from us civvies.
 

Johnny boy

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How did you do that? I'm interested in making friends with military people just because they're different from us civvies.

Most of the people I became friend with were from the nearby military base. I met some army rangers that way and they’re cool. Just throwing parties and inviting girls from tinder
 

Nemolein

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Nov 12, 2017
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Hello There! You read my mind and I really have the same struggles as you have.

I am currently trying to build a business from scratch but feeling dead because I have almost to no social life.
Wondering what shall I really do, I cannot afford to throw a house party.

But, I am happy for you! I should really start going out to more networking events and events in general maybe.

Inspiring post!
or maybe to find people in your town/country who are currently creating business from scratch like you, so you could have a great time exchanging of ideas.
 
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Nemolein

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This isn’t geared at someone older with a family because I’m not one of those people. I’m a 22 year old dude that likes 22 year old dude stuff.

I recently just moved to a lake house. It’s my first place, and I rent. I live in Washington state.

I used to go to school, and I had baseball teammates and classmates. That was fun.

Then I went to college for baseball and stuck together with the team there and still had some fun.

And then I sold cars and had coworkers and that was less fun but still not terrible.

And then I started my business and had NO ONE. It sucked.

The only people I talked to were customers, employees, other business people, and you guys. Not much of a vibrant social circle for Friday nights (sorry guys). And it was not a lot of fun being cut off from everyone.

But of course I needed the time to focus on my business. I could only dive deep into the nuances when having lots of time to focus with no distractions, but eventually things take a toll on you. You become slightly depressed, a little less like yourself and more robotic. You question why you’re doing this at all. I love business like a dog loves T-bone steaks, but we all need a social circle. At least I do. I told myself I didn’t and then I slowly just started to socially die inside and confidence started evaporating out of me without me even knowing.

Thinking I could replace everything from before in the same way by getting friends from “networking groups” and doing that lame stuff was a compete joke. So many people are losers and I was just being dragged down to their level socially. I did meet some awesome people from this place but how many of you are within 20 minutes away and have any free time?

So what did I do?

I threw a party.

I hopped on tinder and told tons girls I was having a lake house party and they were invited and if they wanted they could bring a guy.

The first one was an average party. Every girl there thought I was a tool at first for only inviting tinder girls. And it made me look like a loser. “U don’t know anyone to have at the party? U have any friends?” “Uh...I have a couple. Oh I know some guys from an Internet forum...” lol no chance I’m saying that out loud.

Well, I made friends with some army rangers who were tatted up and regularly hooked up with a few new girls every single week.

The next party, I invited them again and only had girls, much better party. Crazy time.

The next day, I got invited to their party. Another fun time. The next day I got invited out to play volleyball.

We agreed the future parties would be just us 3 dudes and whatever girls we wanted to bring.

So now I’m hanging out with cool guys who are like me, I’m spending more of my time surrounded by people who are socially killing it which is bringing me back to my old cool self again, and I’m having a much better dating life if you haven’t guessed by now.

This is not a PUA forum so I get it. Not the best place to be saying “bro throw a party and bring some girls bro”, but I have a strong suspicious feeling that lots of you entrepreneurs out there are lonely as hell and wonder why being an adult is so much less fun than being young. I don’t think it has to be and I don’t accept mediocre situations. I make changes.

If you’re struggling socially, I think if you can have a party and let people “use” you a little, then let them meet you and see how cool you can be, and then use that to make friends and build up a better social life from scratch. Now, I’ve got things going on all week like I was back in school. I refuse to be the lonely rich man who regrets his choices. And I will not rely on just having coworkers or classmates to make friends. I don’t want to just go to the club either. That’s no fun at all.

As a bonus, everyone I’m meeting now is blown away I don’t have a “job” lol. They think it must be my dads company or something. Haha!

Don’t try to pretend you are better off not well rounded and excuse yourself of developing yourself socially. I did that and it hurt me. Don’t do it to yourself too. View attachment 25530
what a great post i've read! Thanks man! It's now winter vacations in the uni i am the whole day alone with the dogs in house. I've planned, before the vacations, an schedule to learn subjects that could help me ideas for my business im currently creating, but after the first week i felt like a shit, i didnt even know why until today that i thought a bit about my behavior and my mad this 2 last weeks. I realized that i need to talk with someone, to hang out with strangers or something like that, cause to be at home it makes me feel depressed, no desire to learn something new, no motivation to learn all articles i downloaded, so as a result of it i go to youtube to watch some randons shit videos and with that i lose my value time! I just realize im wasting my time when it nights and i see i didnt learn nothing!.
talking about your way to make friends, i think i couldnt afford a party like you did, but maybe tinder or just going to somewhere alone and try to talk to someone could help me. Your post inspires me to do new things outside my house. Hope to do that following days, otherwise i could get depressed i think ...
 

Johnny boy

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what a great post i've read! Thanks man! It's now winter vacations in the uni i am the whole day alone with the dogs in house. I've planned, before the vacations, an schedule to learn subjects that could help me ideas for my business im currently creating, but after the first week i felt like a shit, i didnt even know why until today that i thought a bit about my behavior and my mad this 2 last weeks. I realized that i need to talk with someone, to hang out with strangers or something like that, cause to be at home it makes me feel depressed, no desire to learn something new, no motivation to learn all articles i downloaded, so as a result of it i go to youtube to watch some randons shit videos and with that i lose my value time! I just realize im wasting my time when it nights and i see i didnt learn nothing!.
talking about your way to make friends, i think i couldnt afford a party like you did, but maybe tinder or just going to somewhere alone and try to talk to someone could help me. Your post inspires me to do new things outside my house. Hope to do that following days, otherwise i could get depressed i think ...
All you need is a place to party at, and other people can bring the alcohol. Just one guy needs to have a speaker and you’ve got a party.

Or

Go to the club and get a girl to steal a drink from some chump and turn it into a game. Then recruit some more girls and repeat until 6 girls all meet each other and think you’re funny for getting drinks for free and now you’ve got a little group.
 

kommen

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Damnit, wished I found this post earlier!

Don’t try to pretend you are better off not well rounded and excuse yourself of developing yourself socially. I did that and it hurt me. Don’t do it to yourself too.
Same... I'm almost 20 and I did that back when I was 18. One of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I honestly hate parties, been to a couple. Hated them both and never went to another hedonistic party. Also I don't think parties are the best way to meet friends to be deeply personal with lol, because from my experience most people in parties are very hedonistic and short term people. So I'd just be normal friends with them.

I've been a loner for most of my life. And to be honest, I love being lonely for long periods and I'm probably an outlier for this. (Has anyone ever read the book The Stranger in the Woods? I think I share some similarities with the guy in the book)

But it took a massive toll on me. It made me horrible at sales and marketing. Lacking social interaction makes you worse at selling because you're less able to know what others need, want and their pains. It also makes you less able to talk to investors and to receive mentorship from successful people IRL. And if you're starting from zero, it would be extremely hard to make your first gig/job without friends.

I think to be a better salesperson or entrepreneur is to be more empathetic towards others. Frequently, we get young teens coming to this forum asking for advice. And I think what we should be telling them is to start by being more empathetic to real people around them.

You don't need to be an extrovert to be better at sales.
 
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Johnny boy

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Damnit, wished I found this post earlier!


Same... I'm almost 20 and I did that back when I was 18. One of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I honestly hate parties, been to a couple. Hated them both and never went to another hedonistic party. Also I don't think parties are the best way to meet friends to be deeply personal with lol, because from my experience most people in parties are very hedonistic and short term people. So I'd just be normal friends with them.

I've been a loner for most of my life. And to be honest, I love being lonely for long periods and I'm probably an outlier for this. (Has anyone ever read the book The Stranger in the Woods? I think I share some similarities with the guy in the book)

But it took a massive toll on me. It made me horrible at sales and marketing. Lacking social interaction makes you worse at selling because you're less able to know what others need, want and their pains. It also makes you less able to talk to investors and to receive mentorship from successful people IRL. And if you're starting from zero, it would be extremely hard to make your first gig/job without friends.

I think to be a better salesperson or entrepreneur is to be more empathetic towards others. Frequently, we get young teens coming to this forum asking for advice. And I think what we should be telling them is to start by being more empathetic to real people around them.

You don't need to be an extrovert to be better at sales.
No you don’t need more empathy you need some females and to do more cool shit. Default state for most people is being weak and lame, telling a weak and lame dude to have more empathy is just going to make them weaker and lamer.

Extrovert vs introvert is bullshit there’s just people who are cool and feel confident and there’s low status geeks. And every time you lean into “introvert” energy you are being a geek.
 

WillHurtDontCare

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Hadrian9

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Nov 22, 2022
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No you don’t need more empathy you need some females and to do more cool shit. Default state for most people is being weak and lame, telling a weak and lame dude to have more empathy is just going to make them weaker and lamer.

Extrovert vs introvert is bullshit there’s just people who are cool and feel confident and there’s low status geeks. And every time you lean into “introvert” energy you are being a geek.
Currently in college and trying to be more social and host more things. I know you did this very well. Could you give some more tips on how to organize fun stuff and get cool people and girls to come over?

Also, how do you balance partying and work?
 

Johnny boy

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Currently in college and trying to be more social and host more things. I know you did this very well. Could you give some more tips on how to organize fun stuff and get cool people and girls to come over?

Also, how do you balance partying and work?
Give people what they want, a good time.

Host parties, talk to every female. Every girl has girlfriends who has girlfriends. They are the commodity of any social interaction. You invite 50 girls and 50 guys and you'll get 15 girls and 80 guys. 60% women is the target goal of an event at minimum. Which means 90-95% of your invites and rsvp's should be women.

You just walk up to them, doesn't matter if they are in your class, out walking in between classes, etc. Just try some lines. Talk like a frat dude, a ballplayer, a surfer. Use less words, all of them at a 4th grade level. "sick, aight, cool". "Hey, where's the library? Sick, hey, you're cute what's your name? Cool, hey let me get your insta. I'm having a party friday, you should come, yeah we'll team up we'll be the stars of the party you and me". Repeat x 50.

Then, slip in a mid-week date with each of them. Build a "us" dynamic with whichever girls you want. The 50 you invite don't need to be your type. But you can talk to the 25 you think are cute. You ideally want to get as far as you can with each one before the party so you have enough girls into you to make a baseball team. You want them to all think "It's going to be me and him at this party, I'm kinda his girl". Then you can be courteous and not clingy to every one of them at your party. Obviously if you do this with too many you will look bad.

It's like business. You put together a decent-ish offer, and if it's good enough to work sometimes, then you just play the numbers game and fill up your pipeline. You just need to cross a basic threshold of being able to get some girls to say yes, then you just need to repeat it a ton. Invite a handful of high status dudes and let them know there's like 40 girls who confirmed they'd be there. They'll help be the life of the party since you don't want a bunch of dweebs sitting around. You want a good party. And since you brought everyone together and gave them what they wanted, expect to have a higher status social circle next week. Now when that quarterback or whoever has a party they are more likely to say "hey Hadrian, come over friday bring some girls".

Men like women, women like fun. Put together some fun to get women, put together some women to network with higher value people.

It doesn't have to be parties. It can be going to the beach and playing volleyball. It can be going skiing. Usually that stuff comes later. Use the parties to entertain, talk to people, find things in common, show your sense of humor, create plans for more things, and then you've got a social circle and are doing things all the time.

You will either have to manufacture your social group, or you can be mini-famous and skip all of this where you have automatic status and awareness. The football players at your school do not need to talk to anyone. So either DIY or have some sort of mini-fame.

Give value first, show who you are and build connections, cast a wide net and narrow it down. Rinse and repeat. Do not be discouraged at any hiccups. You will get rejected, girls will call you names, some dude might steal something at your party, you might spend a bit of money, etc. In anything there is good in the bad, and bad in the good. What's nice is if you can stomach the bad, it falls away and you are left with the good. So if you can handle rejection and some hiccups, you will have a group of guys and girls that you like being around who invite you places, who you can organize things with and have a good time.

Work in the morning, party at night. Stay busy and do things faster. Bust your a$$ to get your work done in time. Party hard but not for 10 hours, just the right amount so you can wake up and get back to busting your a$$. Having more to do is good for you, your brain will stay active. I struggle with not having enough on my plate so my brain falls asleep and I slow down.
 

Hadrian9

Contributor
Nov 22, 2022
28
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Give people what they want, a good time.

Host parties, talk to every female. Every girl has girlfriends who has girlfriends. They are the commodity of any social interaction. You invite 50 girls and 50 guys and you'll get 15 girls and 80 guys. 60% women is the target goal of an event at minimum. Which means 90-95% of your invites and rsvp's should be women.

You just walk up to them, doesn't matter if they are in your class, out walking in between classes, etc. Just try some lines. Talk like a frat dude, a ballplayer, a surfer. Use less words, all of them at a 4th grade level. "sick, aight, cool". "Hey, where's the library? Sick, hey, you're cute what's your name? Cool, hey let me get your insta. I'm having a party friday, you should come, yeah we'll team up we'll be the stars of the party you and me". Repeat x 50.

Then, slip in a mid-week date with each of them. Build a "us" dynamic with whichever girls you want. The 50 you invite don't need to be your type. But you can talk to the 25 you think are cute. You ideally want to get as far as you can with each one before the party so you have enough girls into you to make a baseball team. You want them to all think "It's going to be me and him at this party, I'm kinda his girl". Then you can be courteous and not clingy to every one of them at your party. Obviously if you do this with too many you will look bad.

It's like business. You put together a decent-ish offer, and if it's good enough to work sometimes, then you just play the numbers game and fill up your pipeline. You just need to cross a basic threshold of being able to get some girls to say yes, then you just need to repeat it a ton. Invite a handful of high status dudes and let them know there's like 40 girls who confirmed they'd be there. They'll help be the life of the party since you don't want a bunch of dweebs sitting around. You want a good party. And since you brought everyone together and gave them what they wanted, expect to have a higher status social circle next week. Now when that quarterback or whoever has a party they are more likely to say "hey Hadrian, come over friday bring some girls".

Men like women, women like fun. Put together some fun to get women, put together some women to network with higher value people.

It doesn't have to be parties. It can be going to the beach and playing volleyball. It can be going skiing. Usually that stuff comes later. Use the parties to entertain, talk to people, find things in common, show your sense of humor, create plans for more things, and then you've got a social circle and are doing things all the time.

You will either have to manufacture your social group, or you can be mini-famous and skip all of this where you have automatic status and awareness. The football players at your school do not need to talk to anyone. So either DIY or have some sort of mini-fame.

Give value first, show who you are and build connections, cast a wide net and narrow it down. Rinse and repeat. Do not be discouraged at any hiccups. You will get rejected, girls will call you names, some dude might steal something at your party, you might spend a bit of money, etc. In anything there is good in the bad, and bad in the good. What's nice is if you can stomach the bad, it falls away and you are left with the good. So if you can handle rejection and some hiccups, you will have a group of guys and girls that you like being around who invite you places, who you can organize things with and have a good time.

Work in the morning, party at night. Stay busy and do things faster. Bust your a$$ to get your work done in time. Party hard but not for 10 hours, just the right amount so you can wake up and get back to busting your a$$. Having more to do is good for you, your brain will stay active. I struggle with not having enough on my plate so my brain falls asleep and I slow down.
Literally the holy grail of dominating social life in uni. Cant believe you’d give this bible of a guide for free. Should be it’s own gold thread cause I’m sure many guys are interested in this.
 
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Johnny boy

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Literally the holy grail of dominating social life in uni. Cant believe you’d give this bible of a guide for free. Should be it’s own gold thread cause I’m sure many guys are interested in this.
Keep in mind I never went to a university I just ran parties as a ballplayer at a community college and then parties when I got my own place on a lake a few years back.
 

Private Witt

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nothing but baddies on the lake

The lady in the wheelchair doesn't need an inner tube when Johnny spinning her around the lake with his ski boat.

That's how Johnny's wild parties will look like in 50 years.
Sign me up, since I'm already 50 and I'll be 100 those ladies will be total babes to me.
 
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