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- Jul 16, 2018
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Are you serious? Bizarre..
I am 100% serious.
You can read the book called Amalgam Illness by Andrew Cutler. It is no longer in print but you can get a soft copy at libgen.io.
Join over 80,000 entrepreneurs who have rejected the paradigm of mediocrity and said "NO!" to underpaid jobs, ascetic frugality, and suffocating savings rituals— learn how to build a Fastlane business that pays both freedom and lifestyle affluence.
Free registration at the forum removes this block.Are you serious? Bizarre..
Haven't read all the advice here but in my experience what really helped was looking myself in the eye in the mirror each morning and telling myself over and over again:
1. [your name] I love you no matter what.
2. [your name] I forgive you for everything.
3. [your name] I promise you that xyz.
Sounds trivial but you'd be surprised how many people (including myself) got very emotional the first couple of times doing this. We are taught many things in life but learning how to love ourselves was never part of the curriculum.
Because you focus on the PROBLEM.
You automatically focus on the problem (My net worth is ZERO! Where do I even start!?!?), instead of the plan (how do I make $1 million? What systems and processes do I need? What pain points can I solve?)
It's easy to focus on the problem when starting from legit scarcity. Human nature and all that.
HOWEVER...
The mindset needs to be the same as the $10 million example. Focus on the PLAN, not the PROBLEM.
Why would the mindset be different starting from zero? There's no rational reason why the mindset should be different, but it is, because of EMOTIONS due to MINDSET.
I would argue that the mindset of focusing on the PLAN is even more important starting from zero!
You can use this for everything in life.
Interesting, thanks for sharing that.10 Famous Entrepreneurs Who Failed in Business Before Becoming Successful
suddenly im hungry for some KFC
I am at a point where I despise myself for still being a slave. I've been trying for multiple years to figure out how to solve real problems and start a business, and I've only fallen flat on my face.
How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
@404profound There is lots of great advice and perspective here.
Now it is your turn to let us know how things have changed and where you are at now...
Come try to sync a Vuex getter on a Node API and tell me which one you are.Full disclaimer: not a therapist
I did not like myself. Now I love myself like a son.
You need to come to terms with whatever is bothering you about yourself and you need to get past it. Forgive yourself and move on.
Then practice appreciation and reframe things in a positive way.
Appreciate where you're at now but strive for more. You will never get anywhere if you chose to beat yourself up.
If your fear is being mediocre, then stop being mediocre. Stop doing mediocre sh*t and thinking in a mediocre way. Its so easy to just roll over and let the waves of life dictate which direction you go in. There's nothing extraordinary about that.
You need to stop believing that you don't have control. A lot of people relinquish responsibility because it's the path of least resistance. You can't go wrong when nothing is your fault, you know? It's the worlds fault!
If I appear insensitive or ignorant, so be it. I'm just stating how I feel about sh*t, coming from a background of complete helplessness and mediocrity.
Be stoic and keep your chin up - even if your life "sucks", [chances are] it's nothing compared to the hardships some people have been through historically. Your ancestors have put in an enormous amount of sacrifice just for you to be here. So be strong and make incremental moves in a positive direction until they compound.
Everything is temporary, including life - don't waste it
And don't even talk about that suicide bullshit - you are doing everyone, including yourself, a disservice. The world doesn't need another one of these stories.
It needs more "used to hate myself, now I love myself" stories.
It needs more stories about someone talking about offing themselves on a forum but then going on to do huge sh*t in the world in a matter of years. That's a way cooler story.
Just make the choice to believe, and abandon your former identity - just let him go.
Your personality is just a reflection of the beliefs and ideas of all the people you've been exposed to throughout your life.
Here on FLF, you have the choice to subscribe to better quality ideas and outlooks than the ones you have been traditionally prescribed.
Make the conscious, responsible decision to choose love over fear.
There are two people in this world - people that believe they can do it, and people that believe they can't. They are both usually right.
Come try to sync a Vuex getter on a Node API and tell me which one you are.
I was pretty slammed from NYE party when I wrote that, so be happy I responded at all.That's your response?
How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
whatever manWtf?
And I'm out.
No, I'm pissed of because people are still reviving this thread long after it was retired, and every time I see it again it gets me down. I've tried to move on from that part of my life, but this F*ckin thread keeps bringing it back up.Another thread I'm never coming back to again
Good luck changing anything about your life with an attitude like that
A bunch of people here are trying to help your whiny a$$ and you can't even bother yourself to press the thanks button under the posts. People are posting paragraphs here and you just respond with 2-3 sentences of ME ME ME
You probably hate yourself because you're a self centered narcissist without an appreciation for reciprocation
Whatever
Less competition for people like me who actually do sh*t with their time instead of mope around on forums about hating themselves
Get help
Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of all the awesome in your life. Limit yourself to three things you HAVE to get done each day and then make sure you do them. You can do more, but make sure you do the three big ones. Then you'll start to feel momentum. Focus on one thing until you're successful. Unsubscribe from all the lists pushing new bright shiny objects. I'm not there yet either and I've failed a ton. But I have my dream and I'm not giving up on it. Make sure your end goal is clear also. That really helps when things get tough.
"How do you stop hating yourself?"
I've found that you cannot stop thoughts. You can only redirect them. So prepare some mental constructs ahead of time - identify some things that, when you think about them, you feel really good. It could be a memory, a future goal, a beautiful place, whatever. When you find yourself thinking any negative thought (why can't I succeed, I'm a failure, I must be stupid, I'm too impatient, I'm out of time, I'll never make it, etc.) simply redirect your attention to those good-feeling thoughts you prepared. Immerse yourself in the thought/image/movie (see it, feel it, smell it, taste it, etc.) and let it shift your emotions. Once you do that, it will be easier to take the next step - positive action in the direction you desire.
#threadnecroI am new here but i can confirm that what @StompingAcorns said. It is working and it is a validate method. While i was drug addict in my early years and i participate in a closed rehabilitation facilities we did therapy groups. One of the subject was that we couldn't stand our thoughts who keep on coming in our head when we see other junkies and raise the feeling inside us to inject our selfs once more. For example. i was having 2 years clean of drugs but while i was walking i saw a syringe right front me, the feeling to go find some heroine and make my head light again was raised in instance. My therapist told me...it was syringe fault for my thoughts? or mine because i let my self in those thoughts? Another user said that when she are near trees she remember how she hiding her cocaine in trees routes. So what? Are she going to blame all the trees she finds front of her for the rest of her life? Yes you can redirect your thoughts in something that you find that helps you, you can create new memories and actually go out and make new memories. By creating new memories you can redirect your thoughts in something beautiful. When my mom told me what her favorite flower was, anytime i see that flower or any flower i choose to remember her. Now i see a syringe and i choose to think how i used to feed a kitten, not what i did as a stupid young boy. I used that method, i am still doing it and im 14 years off to drugs while all my past friends are dead or near to death. I hope you understand. I know that my English is horrible but i went only two years in English lessons, i have learned English only from movies subtitles and music through years. You will find the way to lift your spirits.
I am at a point where I despise myself for still being a slave. I've been trying for multiple years to figure out how to solve real problems and start a business, and I've only fallen flat on my face.
How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
This is where I beg to differ from the “feel good abt yourself “ mindsetI am at a point where I despise myself for still being a slave. I've been trying for multiple years to figure out how to solve real problems and start a business, and I've only fallen flat on my face.
How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
Besides millions of money. What else would make you truly happy? think about this for a few days and you will realize that you don't need to have millions to start enjoying life.I am at a point where I despise myself for still being a slave. I've been trying for multiple years to figure out how to solve real problems and start a business, and I've only fallen flat on my face.
How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
That's quite cool. What was it that brought about that change?I'm not the pussy I used to be. Moved to California two months ago, making well over six figures doing machine learning and database tuning. Working on three apps on the side. Haven't worn a shirt in like two weeks lol
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