How do you deal with disbelievers?

[TreyAllDay]

I'm sorry if this one has been discussed before or if I am ranting- but I am curious how some of you have dealt with non-believers and doubters in your lives.

Both my parents and my girlfriend are as slowlane as they get - work boring jobs during the day and complain at night about how much they hate their jobs and hope to win the lottery. Ever since I have chosen the fast lane, my girlfriend and my dad have been on my case about quitting my cushy 70k a year marketing position, even though I'm making pretty good money and supporting myself during these first few months. Half of me kind of wants to say "F*ck these people" and kick them to the curb but the other half makes me think they don't know any better and it's not their fault. Once you do "make it" in these peoples eyes... are they even worth having around?

Anyway! Would love some feedback!

 

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[Xavier X]

Step 1: Sit them down and offer a clear overview of your current directions and goals (not for permission or validation, but purely on FYI basis) .

Step 2: Ignore anything they have to say to the contrary, after that point.

They can either choose to be supportive or not. Whichever it is, don't take your eyes off the road.

 

[Jon L]

They're trying to be helpful, based on their knowledge, experience and beliefs. Its not something you can fault them for.

Honestly, the entrepreneurial life is a bit crazy. And I don't mean that in a good way. We all have to have a bit of a screw loose to put ourselves through the kind of torture required to get a business off the ground.

What they have to understand about us, though, is that that is how we're designed. To do differently would go against our nature and would end up causing us more trouble long-term.

Some people like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes, free-fall for several minutes, and then pull a large piece of fabric out of a backpack in the hopes that it will open 'just so,' preventing them from going SPLAT on the ground. I think they're nuts, but most people that do that manage to not kill themselves. These people 'see things' about skydiving that others just don't.

Some want to 'play it safe' and work for a 'big company' in the hopes that they won't ever get downsized. Most people land on their feet, even though they do get downsized at some point in their career. These people 'see things' about this way of thinking that others don't.

etc.

We are all built differently, and some people just have it in their nature to want to build a business. We see things about building businesses that other people simply can't understand.

 

[LiveFire]

I understand that it can be frustrating when others do not share your enthusiasm or beliefs for a better world. Just remember, at one point you were once blind, but now see. Waking up happens for people at different times, taking something or a circumstance to wake up. Patience is important, but also presenting them with "baby" truths goes a long way. They can't handle the meat of "truth", it is too much to stomach as it disrupts the world they know and have been taught. Overcoming fears have their own first steps.

If you kick them to the curb so to speak, by not being involved, you remove your ability to influence them. If you are not influencing them, then someone else will (the same ol same ol).

You could ask through some leading questions to engage them. For instance, to your Dad, "I know you hate your job, but what would happen if you lost your job, your benefits that are provided with it, the insurances, what would you do? how would you live?". Begin speaking about that security he can control. "I hear how you hate working for someone else, have you thought what it would be like to be the boss to get the first cut of money?". Coaching and lead them to begin thinking about situations or how to support their dreams.

To answer your question, "are they even worth having around"? Everyone has value, especially family, and even your girlfriend, in particular if she is to be a future bride (& will be important for her to develop this Fastlane mindset). For now, they will be that subtle reminder to what you do not want to be, as you once were.

Think about this - YOU have a tremendous opportunity to shape future generations of your family (if you chose that through children) for years to come. You have the ability to remove slowlane from future family generations because of the position and the courage you are taking to do this now. And if that is not the lot for you in life, it will certainly influence extended family that may make a change in their life one day.

Sincerely,
LF

I'm sorry if this one has been discussed before or if I am ranting- but I am curious how some of you have dealt with non-believers and doubters in your lives.

Both my parents and my girlfriend are as slowlane as they get - work boring jobs during the day and complain at night about how much they hate their jobs and hope to win the lottery. Ever since I have chosen the fast lane, my girlfriend and my dad have been on my case about quitting my cushy 70k a year marketing position, even though I'm making pretty good money and supporting myself during these first few months. Half of me kind of wants to say "F*ck these people" and kick them to the curb but the other half makes me think they don't know any better and it's not their fault. Once you do "make it" in these peoples eyes... are they even worth having around?

Anyway! Would love some feedback!

 

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[mike24601]

Friends: It depends on whether they are a detriment to your goals or not. If yes, it would be better to get them out of your life.
Family: Can't replace family. If you have a bad relationship with them and that only serves to bring you down further, then *maybe* I would think about cutting ties. If they're just being mom & dad and worrying about your decisions, then the best thing you can do is just politely and firmly ignore. Just let them know you're OK once in a while.

 

[amp0193]

If they're just being mom & dad and worrying about your decisions, then the best thing you can do is just politely and firmly ignore. Just let them know you're OK once in a while.

The best thing you can do is be a success.

Generally, family cares about you, and wants you to be o.k. Prove to them you will be.

My mother in law thinks my next business is a horrible idea. Even though I'm in the process of selling a very successful ecommerce business, she still thinks I should be a teacher, or go back to appliance repair... "that was a good business" she says.

I'll let the results speak for themselves, and she'll get off my back soon enough.

Actually, when I knock it out of the park, she'll probably just guilt my wife about how I'm not giving them any money to help out.... LOL.

 

[kytro360]

I don't know who originally made this quote but it fits your situation: "First they call you crazy, then when you see you impact millions, they call you a genius."

Show them results. Show them you're making money. Then they will start to root for you instead of against you.

 

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[Christopher777]

I personally relate to you and I believe that we all experience this.

I figured that it's a matter of focus. Either you waste your time paying attention to them or concentrate on your business whatever that could be. Another alternative is to use them as fuel. Like you use them as jet fuel for spiting them and proving them wrong, eventually. That's the key word. Eventually. And before they even begin to realize that they're having the proverbial epiphany about you, that they were wrong for judging you, by then it is too late. You're already on the way to succeeding.

That's how I repeatedly see it every single time.

Cheers man. It's part of the struggle. You will find those who will help you, like magic. As i've had.

And the bottom line is, it's your life. Point blank period. It's nobody's business how you run it. Provided that you work on becoming more effective.

 

[SteveO]

Why do you need to deal with it? I usually just ignore until everyone runs home crying.

 

[Sean Kaye]

Are you living your life or running a cult? Why do you care whether they "believe" or not?

Do your thing and ignore their BS.

 

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[TreyAllDay]

The best thing you can do is be a success.

Generally, family cares about you, and wants you to be o.k. Prove to them you will be.

My mother in law thinks my next business is a horrible idea. Even though I'm in the process of selling a very successful ecommerce business, she still thinks I should be a teacher, or go back to appliance repair... "that was a good business" she says.

I'll let the results speak for themselves, and she'll get off my back soon enough.

Actually, when I knock it out of the park, she'll probably just guilt my wife about how I'm not giving them any money to help out.... LOL.

Why do you need to deal with it? I usually just ignore until everyone runs home crying.

Are you living your life or running a cult? Why do you care whether they "believe" or not?

Do your thing and ignore their BS.

Thanks for the advice all. I guess it's just a weird feeling doing this for the first time lol - not a lot of people know what it's like hyperventilating outside of your bosses office for hours trying to get up the courage to say "I quit" and having your family tell you you're making a mistake - you just kind of feel like you don't want to reward those people when you're successful. But I relate to the "you were blind once" because in reality, if it weren't for a bit of luck, I could be in the same position.

 

[Sean Kaye]

It's your mistake to make - tell them when they start paying your bills and putting the food on your table, then they can tell you what to do.

Family are often coming from a place of good intentions but they are also like crabs in a bucket, when one crab tries to escape the others pull it back down.

 

[V8Bill]

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Best way to stay positive in very negative times...

 

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[Mosfet]

It's hard to believe in yourself, but it is even harder to believe in someone else. Believing requires either evidence or delusion. Business is a game of incomplete information, so you never really know, there is never enough evidence, there are only estimates. Estimates are not enough for a belief. Fortunately or unfortunately people don't require complete evidence, they just need to reach a point where it is enough evidence for them to make the jump and delude themselves. So in time if you are doing good your family members will believe, but you probably wont like it either because they will think you have made it, when you have only accomplished 10% of your goal and can easily slide back.
Since most people are just like your family members, the question is not if it is worth spending time with them, but rather how much time are you willing spend around security oriented people at this point in your life, because at some later point when you have made it you will probably look for some cozy security as well.

 

[Dan_Fastlane]

sarcasm is your best buddy here

 

[SteveO]

not a lot of people know what it's like hyperventilating outside of your bosses office for hours trying to get up the courage to say "I quit"

Perhaps you are not ready for this. I personally did not quit before I was making enough money to live without the job.

It is rare that timing goes as planned so make sure you have enough to stay self sufficient.

But if you are making enough, then it does not matter what anyone else says... Doing what you want will make you happy. That is what really matters.

 

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[G-Man]

Perhaps you are not ready for this. I personally did not quit before I was making enough money to live without the job.

Per usual, @SteveO is spot on. I didn't wait until I had enough income like Mr. O, but to put it this way: By the time I quit, the thought of working there one more day is what made me hyperventilate. Quitting was easy.

 

[Joe Cassandra]

I'm sorry if this one has been discussed before or if I am ranting- but I am curious how some of you have dealt with non-believers and doubters in your lives.

Both my parents and my girlfriend are as slowlane as they get - work boring jobs during the day and complain at night about how much they hate their jobs and hope to win the lottery. Ever since I have chosen the fast lane, my girlfriend and my dad have been on my case about quitting my cushy 70k a year marketing position, even though I'm making pretty good money and supporting myself during these first few months. Half of me kind of wants to say "F*ck these people" and kick them to the curb but the other half makes me think they don't know any better and it's not their fault. Once you do "make it" in these peoples eyes... are they even worth having around?

Anyway! Would love some feedback!

When I worked in accounting (yuck, still tastes bad), my in-laws would always pepper me with questions about work and praise ("oh what a great job you have..")

Last year, I quit and have worked for myself since...not one of them have asked even what I do... 18 months later...

No one likes to talk about something they've always wanted to do but didn't have the cajones to. Not that everyone is meant to start a business...but I believe a majority have wild daydreams of being a bigshot business owner ordering around the peons.

One of the first questions you get asked when you quit (as if it's some 'never work for yourself' barrier) --- What will you do for health insurance?

Yep, stop all your dreams because you don't have boss-man paying for some of your health insurance. You figure it out. It's expensive as hell, but you find a way to do it.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO ABOUT NON-BELIEVERS:
1.) Nothing. You've entered one of the most stressful parts of your life ever. Spending an iota of energy worrying about other people judging you is bad news

2.) Most of the time, just nod and let them know you listened to their concerns. They want to feel as if they're bringing up concerns you've never thought before....when, in actuality, you probably spent nights tossing and turning already about each of their points.

In the end, for us it just makes sense to work for yourself (or at least attempt to reach for the stars). For most...they just don't understand because they've never sat down to learn about it.

It's Plato's Allegory of the Caves again and again.

It's a slow process for some where you convert them by example. For others, they'll never understand...there's nothing you can do.

 

[blackbrich]

Luckily I have supportive entrepreneurial parents and no significant other. But if I had to handle it, I believe the following video would help.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcaOr1TBA1w


...Or just go to the threads @V8Bill recommended.

 

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[SteveO]

Luckily I have supportive entrepreneurial parents and no significant other. But if I had to handle it, I believe the following video would help.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcaOr1TBA1w


...Or just go to the threads @V8Bill recommended.

Hahahahaha!

 

[Tanisha]

I'm sorry if this one has been discussed before or if I am ranting- but I am curious how some of you have dealt with non-believers and doubters in your lives.

Both my parents and my girlfriend are as slowlane as they get - work boring jobs during the day and complain at night about how much they hate their jobs and hope to win the lottery. Ever since I have chosen the fast lane, my girlfriend and my dad have been on my case about quitting my cushy 70k a year marketing position, even though I'm making pretty good money and supporting myself during these first few months. Half of me kind of wants to say "F*ck these people" and kick them to the curb but the other half makes me think they don't know any better and it's not their fault. Once you do "make it" in these peoples eyes... are they even worth having around?

Anyway! Would love some feedback!

if you have anyone who wont support you show them this video about the Bank's fastlane

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKfRy9d1xDY

 

[Kid]

1. Don't tell them a thing.
2. If you did... it might be easier to invent time travel.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Ahh, friends and family, the primary sources of Semmelwashing...

There is no convincing these people through words, charts, or emotions.

You only convince them through results.

When they see you living your dream while they tread their misery, that's when they become believers.

 

[IceCreamKid]

A post I made last year....

I once wanted to be a guy who helped everyone become free. I gave them tons of my time and energy. Then one day I realized that very few will actually do what it takes to get there. They weren’t willing to dedicate themselves…apply themselves…motivate themselves. I think I wanted it more for them than they wanted it for themselves.

So I let them be. In doing so, I realized that one of the greatest freedoms in life is to allow others to live their own experience. I hid away from most of them and chose only to surround myself with those who forced me to “level up”. Productivity went up, profit went up, free time went up, joy went up, peace went up.

I can’t remember where I read this poem, but I copied it into my notebook a while back because it resonated with me so deeply:

Let us gently leave the bed,
Quietly tiptoe out of the darkened room
And into the morning light.
Let us play here.
Let us not shake others in their beds.
They are sleeping because they require rest.
When they reawaken and hear us playing,
They shall come and join us.

 

[Lucid Tech]

“Don’t tell me what you are going to do. Show me what you have done.”

 

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[amp0193]

Per usual, @SteveO is spot on. I didn't wait until I had enough income like Mr. O, but to put it this way: By the time I quit, the thought of working there one more day is what made me hyperventilate. Quitting was easy.

Same here. Once I knew I could leave any day, it was just a matter of time. Eventually, they were the ones that asked me to leave. I was totally cool with that.

 

[GMSI7D]

you can't do anything with disbelievers

because everyone has a unique point of view about life

a unique angle to see things

there are things that i will never understand

there are things that you will never understand

and this is the same for everybody

that's why there are wars on earth

 

[Ivan2BAlive]

I'm sorry if this one has been discussed before or if I am ranting- but I am curious how some of you have dealt with non-believers and doubters in your lives.

Both my parents and my girlfriend are as slowlane as they get - work boring jobs during the day and complain at night about how much they hate their jobs and hope to win the lottery. Ever since I have chosen the fast lane, my girlfriend and my dad have been on my case about quitting my cushy 70k a year marketing position, even though I'm making pretty good money and supporting myself during these first few months. Half of me kind of wants to say "F*ck these people" and kick them to the curb but the other half makes me think they don't know any better and it's not their fault. Once you do "make it" in these peoples eyes... are they even worth having around?

Anyway! Would love some feedback!

You know we all have parents that are crazy in some ways, and there's not a way to divorce from them either, so let them be. As far as their comments, just ignore them. They don't understand the slow-lane world they live in compared to the fast-lane in your world. No need talking to them because they won't listen "because" your their child. I call this the "Powdered-Butt" syndrome. They believe that they raised you and in their eyes they still see you as their child.

The only way to combat this is to succeed. Let them see that then they will see you in a different light. Use their doubts as your fuel for success and when you do, then they will listen and follow.

 

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[Ivan2BAlive]

if you have anyone who wont support you show them this video about the Bank's fastlane

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKfRy9d1xDY

I fully agree with this video. Not to go off topic, but the banks are only in business for themselves. Think about it, for every dollar you put into savings they only give you like. . . what .01% interest on your return. But for every dollar that you put in the bank, they, in turn, supposedly give back one dollar in the form of a loan with and charge an interest rate anywhere from 5% to 21%. Unfortunately, I have to use this vehicle (and everyone else) for everyday purposes, but I don't accept any offers of credit cards, loans or mortgages from them. It's just a waste of your money and time and being a slave to the system. (Just my little rant).

Ok I'm stepping down off my soapbox now. .

 

[AndrewNC]

I found that the most effective way to deal with disbelievers is to argue with them that my point is right and they are wrong, presenting logical facts.

I make sure to tell them about these books and courses and coaches I found on the internet who told me I can make $1,000,000 in the next few days while I sleep.

The more I logically try to convince them, the more likely I am to continue to try to convince them.

Five years later, I continue to do it because it is definitely working.