How do you become a happy person?

[Kak]

I have found my happiness comes from a place of thankfulness because it is a moving target if there ever was one.

I have a beautiful and kind wife, a nice house on a golf course, two reliable vehicles, no money worries, we travel a few times a year, I have enough free time. A lot of people probably wish they were in this position. What’s not to like? Yet sometimes it creeps in I find myself feeling like I should have more... More what? Homes, cars and airplanes? More more more...

Years ago I decided that mentality was crap... My lifestyle has progressively increased over time... So, it stands to reason if I didn’t get my fulfillment from what I had, more wasn’t going to do it.

When I am thankful, I am more happy, content, fulfilled and get this... MORE EFFECTIVE. Why? Because I am working more for a legacy than anything else at this point. For my eventual kids to get to see their dad do amazing things. For their kids. To build something awesome.

Will I buy a bigger home and better cars and airplanes some day? Yes, of course. I like that stuff, but I need to be thankful or it’s not going to do anything for me.

Work on being thankful is the best advice I can give!

 

[Jakeeck]

A little different than the advice you're getting here. No offense to anyone who posted, but none of this works for someone like OP. I know because I was exactly like him.

Here's the thing... your brain's reward system is f*cked. You get rewarded for doing nothing in video games, and it's about 10x more fun than doing any kind of real work.

It's going to take some deep rewiring and reprogramming of your brain to bring you back.

This is the case for anyone who grew up with a life where your parents didn't discipline you to get homework done before you played video games or went out to play. Everything is backwards. You take your rewards before you do any work. <---

Video games will rob you of any motivation you have, trust me.

So first, drop the video games, and resist any temptations that you KNOW are a time-suck to fill in that void of not having video games.

It's gonna hurt like a bitch. You're gonna get depressed and anxious and wonder wtf is the point if you feel this miserable.

Then you're gradually going to start feeling better. Your brain is rewiring. If you don't use the same neural pathways (play video games), they weaken, and your motivation for other things goes up. Now you have a base to work from.

You're in major "dopamine debt" (the brain's reward chemical). You've taken so much reward without doing work. Now you have to work to get back to even.

You're not going to be able to meditate or journal or anything like that in this state, like everyone is telling you to do. It's just too drastic of a change.

You have to start with 1 thing -- stop playing video games.

Daily motivation and inspiration is a must as well. You're rewiring your brain here, and to do that, you need to flood your mind with positive/reinforcing thoughts of the lifestyle you want to live. If you try to force yourself to think positively, it's not going to work. You're going to know you're faking it.

Listen to Jim Rohn, Bob Proctor, Tony Robbins, MJ, etc etc. Let their thoughts become yours. Let them help you start rewiring your brain.

Post quotes all over your wall so you force your mind to think those things, because in your state, any time spent in silence is going to be negative, ruminating thoughts, because that's what you've been thinking for years now. Only way to change that is to play a new record of positivity through an external source, and to be ruthless about it. Don't let yourself start thinking your old thoughts; you'll only re-engage those neural pathways.

Oh, and start eating well. Fresh cooked meals. Healthy food. Without this as a foundation, you're carrying an unnecessary 50lbs up the mountain.

I still struggle because I was a damn spoiled little millennial who played video games 24/7 and tried to do my homework 15 mins before class started every morning.

But I'm getting better every week. Last year in May I was 40k in debt and depressed as f*ck making $0/month. I went to my dad's house and cried telling him I wanted to kill myself.

In June I turned my shit around. Now I've paid off every penny of that 40k and am making a (low) 5-figure monthly income.

I still have days where I go back to old ways. The struggle is brutal. But that's what you get when you take your rewards before you do the work for 15+ years.

It's not your fault. It's not your parent's fault. It's nobody's fault. You don't know what you don't know.

But you've been dealt a hand and you have to play it, otherwise, as MJ says "your life is big-blinded away to the pot while others take it." (or something like that)

 

[Wiezel]

** PLEASE IGNORE ALL MY PREVIOUS POSTS **

I want to start off with that. It was all stuff that came in to my mind and I thought 'oh, I can make money that way'. I finally realize the main goal should not be money. It's a 'reward' for delivering help to the needed.

I'm 24, no job and living at my parents place.
I'm happy in my personal life, got a girlfriend, family and kind friends.
But on the other side.. I've tried multiple studies, jobs and tried to launch multiple own business but it all ended up in a horrible feeling 'this isn't it.. this is not the thing which is going to make you happy'.

I've been fighting against it since I was around 17/18 years old and it never really got any better.
I have NO clue what I want! What I enjoy the most, what I want to do for a living, what my interests are (I guess gaming isn't a thing to get going). Besides having a good time with my girlfriend I play videogames and that's it... I know I should DO more but I've no clue on what.. I tried multiple Udemy courses in different niches, took several jobs, different studies etc and it all ended up; I'm not happy.

I'm really close to giving up on all and just accept my fate I won't accomplish something in my life what is going to make me truly happy or give me a reason to wake up with a smile.

Really desperate and kind of finding my solution here.. so please don't be too harsh on me.. I really need help to get out of this unhappy circle and become a happy human being.

 

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[Wiggly0607]

Good for you for reaching out and admitting you aren't happy with the way things are. Nothing changes unless you see things as they are first.

That being said, you're still only 24, so give yourself a break. You have time. Im 45 now and still figuring stuff out, and when I look back to when I was 24, I thought I knew what I was doing, but I had no clue.

Next recommendation is that you need to challenge yourself. I haven't read your previous posts since Im just getting active on here again, but it sounds like (if you are living at your parents house) you aren't in a place where you have enough discomfort to force you into a "WTF moment" where you light a fire under your a$$ and get moving.

Moving out on your own would dramatically increase your confidence, even if you struggle. You'll have to depend on yourself.

Surround yourself with positivity. Read good books. Watch YouTube videos from people you admire.

AND always stop to take moments to be grateful. It seems like a cliche, but it's true. You are 24, and have the rest of your life in front of you to "figure things out" and make yourself a life you are proud of.

 

[mikey3times]

“A man is about as happy as he makes his mind up to be.”

These are very wise words. Try it. When you notice negative thoughts, stop and reset yourself by practicing some gratitude.

I agree with the posts above. Cut yourself some slack. You are young. You should be out exploring, meeting people, and trying new things.

Keep in mind that you are learning. You might not yet have learned what you want to do, but you are learning what you don’t want to do. That is progress. Keep making forward progress. Eventually something will come along, probably when you stop looking.

 

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[Ninjakid]

As soon as I read

I'm 24, no job and living at my parents place.

It wasn't hard to figure out why you're unhappy.

If you're an adult still dependent on your parents, spending day in day out doing nothing while your peers are progressing, how are you going to be happy?

Set a goal for yourself. Anything. Maybe you want to travel, maybe you want to live in a nice house, maybe you want to take your gf out for a nice dinner, maybe you want to be a pro gamer and need a way to support yourself...

The point is, have a north star. Don't just work for the sake of working, have an ideal in mind.

And then just do it.

I can tell you're stuck in your head by everything you've said. You need to just get out of your head and put in the work. When you do that you'll feel a lot better.

 

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[Fox]

If I had to say when I felt happiest:

Having a clear goal that is worth achieving and enjoying the up and down process of getting to it.

Whenever that statement has been true I’ve felt a LOT better then when it was false.

 

[MTEE1985]

I'm happy in my personal life, got a girlfriend, family and kind friends.

Interestingly enough, there are many more people who are financially successful looking for happiness in the areas where you are already happy.

So in reality, you are not actually unhappy correct?

What it sounds like you are is comfortable. Living with your parents, spending time with your girlfriend, video games...all comfortable. You will not find your path to purpose through comfort.

I don’t necessarily think you need to leave your parents house for this as that can be a major asset to not have the expenses associated with living by yourself when you’re first starting out. What you need to do is figure out what scares you, what makes you uncomfortable and you need to go after it. It will help you grow exponentially.

Second, if you aren’t exercising everyday, start today. If you aren’t reading books (where are you MFL and Unscripted badges??) start today. Write down your goals no matter how audacious they may be. Figure out what you would do if money wasn’t an issue.

Lastly, change your mindset. When people mention you renting your own place you’re first reaction is “here’s why I can’t do that” it needs to change to “how can I do that”

 

[Guest921Y]

I know this sounds silly, but practicing mindfulness/meditation could be a huge benefit to you.

 

[B. Cole]

I read somewhere that happiness can be summarized in one word - progress.

Think about it, progress in whatever you aspire - health, wealth, love, anything. Making progress, even in minuscule amounts, creates a sense of forward momentum, an adventurous feeling that triggers imaginative thoughts, daydreams of a place in time that you want to be and are now closer to than before. Progress reignites the exact excitement you felt when your purpose was realized and your particular journey began.

Trying to look past progress and the journey at your perceived destination is a falsity against yourself, a happiness killer - short lived and ultimately unsustainable. The destination moves forward and changes as you do, two steps ahead at all times, until you finally settle in at complacency, nostalgia and preparation for leaving this world.

It’s why some people that don’t want to die work until they do. They don’t want the destination - they want to continue their momentum, to live through progress.

 

[Jakeeck]

Interesting perspective. I quit games in college (circa 1999-2000) because I felt they created a false sense of achievement at the time. Which is basically what you're saying, but you're exposing the biochemical consequences of that. I could never get addicted to them now, I think, because messing with reality is too much fun. Also less eyestrain. I still like games every so often though, 5-10 days a year, if it's raining outside.

I think the biggest area of research about this going on right now is with porn. (yourbrainonporn.com)

But after researching all that, I realized it applies to any kind of super stimulus. Who the hell is going to want to work when they can get their month's worth of reward chemicals with 5 porn tabs open? Who is going to want to work when you have a video game where you feel like the f*ckin man because your kill:death ratio is 3:1 and all your other video gamer buddies pat you on the back for it?

But it's all a smokescreen, because eventually you have to work and make a living, and your brain is not equipped to do that.

The internet and its extensions kill dreams when left unchecked, and many of us were raised on those extensions (shitposting forums, video games, porn) while our brains were developing. Our reward circuitry is in shambles.

The internet is amazing too for obvious reasons, but people like myself and OP first have to understand WHY we feel so resistant to working and finding something to dedicate ourselves to. Then you can intuitively figure out ways to combat that.

 

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[Mattie]

Really desperate and kind of finding my solution here.. so please don't be too harsh on me.. I really need help to get out of this unhappy circle and become a happy human being.

It comes down to focusing one thing at a time. What have you done long-term versus short-term gains. In the projects you have tried, what did you learn from the experience?

What I hear most of the time from those in their younger years is they're supposed to have their whole life planned out by the age of 25. Life rarely happens this way. Usually there are twists and turns, different experiences we encounter which might teach us something of value to take us further in life. A good way to get a feel for what you want to do is through internships, work experiences, and making a small commitment to get a feel for a specific area.

There are probably tons of Entrepreneurs in your area who probably need something done, and some even searching for volunteers. I know some people who do this two hours a week, but learn something of value.

Doing it myself, I learned how to write grants, was educated on a lot of hidden behind the scenes information, I'll never be able to talk about, but I still have knowledge, insight, and wisdom from that experience others might not have.
I learned many different things at all my internships and work experiences. Sometimes this is only for ten weeks, but you might learn tons of stuff about running a business, doing fund raisers, campaigns, advertising, marketing, technology, etc.

 

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[MTEE1985]

I'm happy in the personal setting regarding my girlfriend, friends etc.
But of course a big part next to that is what you do in your life, what kind of work/business, where you live etc and that's the part which is making me unhappy. So I would say it's 51% happy, 49% unhappy. I would love to have it 80% atleast.

Exercising as in running/walking etc? Or mental excersises? Oh and I read both books, haven't added the badges.

At this stage if you’re doing nothing, just do something. Walk, run, lift, sports, anything will help. And yes, mental exercises too. Read the Miracle Morning and actually follow through with it. A lot of it, especially the journaling, is along what @Kak is talking about. Gratitude, meditation, etc. it sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for.

List out areas of your life and where you are from 1-10. Then what a 10 looks like and finally, how will you get to a 10. It won’t happen overnight but repetitive and consistent action will get you where you want to be.

 

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[rynor]

I'll share what helps me since I have some of the same thoughts as you from time to time. I'm only 26, but I just started a business (only a month and some change) and want everything to happen immediately. It's probably due to this "instant gratification" focused society that we live in. It becomes addicting to see results happen immediately. In business and in life, this is not realistic. Rome was not built in a day.

What helps me combat this is to take a step back every so often and see how far I've come from the beginning. Even 1% progress every single day is still progress.

 

[Rabby]

The world is a complex sandbox role playing game with the difficulty set to medium (unless you're born in a place with no rule of law, then it's on hard, but that's not the Netherlands).

You are currently in the starter village. There are quests you can do there. You know 2 parents, 1 girlfriend, 2 girlfriend-parents, some number of aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, neighbors. Ever walk around the village in one of those games and talk to the people, looking for hints or directions? (I'm gambling on you not being exclusively an FPS gamer... this would be awkward in that case).

Seriously, approach life like a game. You're trying to make little changes to your environment, then bigger and bigger ones. You have a lot of channels you can do this through. You're chatting asynchronously with people in multiple continents right now. What else can you do?

Yes, I think you should go 2 hours away, if only for perspective. Sit on a public bench and watch people go by if that's what it takes. But change how you're looking at the people and space around you. Opportunity is always there, but we're trained to assume it's not for us. Untrain that, and one thing at a time start changing things.

... is my advice.

PS: You say you're only 24. Lots of people are 24. When you're 30, you'll all be saying "I'm already 30." Forget about age. Focus on finding things you can do. Take the things you can do now, and the things you can start learning to do, and use them toward what you want to accomplish through the next 1-2-5-10 years.

 

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[Wiezel]

[QUOTE="MTEE1985, post: 770227, member: 57552"

Second, if you aren’t exercising everyday, start today. If you aren’t reading books (where are you MFL and Unscripted badges??) start today. Write down your goals no matter how audacious they may be. Figure out what you would do if money wasn’t an issue.

”

Good point about the badges, I didn't even notice that. Assumed all folks on here had done that.

Start TMF today![/QUOTE]

I've read both, just don't have the badges. I just responsed in both topics so I get the badges.

 

[windchaser]

Thank you for your reply.
My number 1 on the list is absolute get out of my parents house and start deciding stuff on my own.
But there's a problem... like a big one. Currently I do not have a job (read; no money), renting a house/place is way too expensive (they always require you to earn a certain income x4 the rental price, which is way too high for a single person). So how do I ever get out of here...?

I don't mind moving to the other side of the country (The Netherlands) since the houses are a bit cheaper there.. but how do I find a job across the country without even living there already?

I always say there are two types of people: Those who look for solutions to the problem and those who look for problems to the solution.

From what I am reading my gut is telling me that what it is preventing yourself from being happy is your mindset.

One thing calls my attention: You mention that you are very happy with your personal life and that you have a great family and friends, but still your number 1 priority is moving out of your parents. Shouldn´t your number 1 priority be finding what you want to do with your life, learn skills, get a job you like or start a business? Why focus on fixing what is right on your life instead on what is making you unhappy?

Then, you identify your problem and the solution but start mentioning a lot of reasons why that is not a solution. The problem with finding a place of your own sounds familiar with me (I am from Spain and I bet you here it is even more difficult) but it sounds like an excuse.

In fact, I seriously doubt that your number 1 problem is living with your parents. Living with your parents is an advantage for your situation as you can focus full time on finding what you want to do and keep trying and reinvesting all your gains on that, without the burden of needing to pay rent, electricity, and the many other responsibilities that come together with living on your own, especially if you go north far from your friends and family (which you mentioned are the best part of your life). Everything can be improved but you have to be smart at prioritizing.

To me it sounds like you are suffering from analysis paralysis:

Imagine that you want to build a house but you do not start building the foundation until you have decided on the color of the walls.

My advice: do not stress and don´t wait to move until you have all figured out. Break the problem into small pieces and focus on one at a time, and learn to live and enjoy the good things in your life. Change your mindset into a positive one. It looks like you have that eagerness, that hunger and willingness to change. Use it the right way!

Learn to enjoy the good things in your life even in the moments when they are outweighted by the bad one. Learn to enjoy the process, no matter how much it sucks, because you will always learn or get something good out of it.

That is not something you are born with or that you learn in one day. Anyone can do it, but it requires perseverance and determination, like everything worthy in this life.

 

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[Jeff Noel]

I get that! That's why I always did though, got several jobs even though I didn't enjoy them.
The main problem here is that let's say monthly rent is $1000. Here in The Netherlands they will ask you to have that amount times 3/3.5/4x in monthly earnings. So that will be $3500-$4000 made by 1 person.

That's totally not achieveable for me at this point.
If I were able to move out tomorrow but have a less fancy job to make that happen I would do it right away, I need the personal space but it's just not possible. I don't mind going abroad as well but where the hell do I start that? Why would a foreign company hire me (while I'm only 24) when I don't even live there (yet)...?

Change your mindset.



Let's say you find a minimum wage 40 hours/week job. That's 373.20 euros/week. That means, in 21.5 working days you have 1000 euros. Work 4 months, acquire experience.

Boom, enough money (if you don't spend it) for a brand new place... and you got experience. Now you have more options, because you can find a job that's not minimum wage, you learnt things about either marketing or customer support (you learn a lot about customer support while working at Wal-Mart or MacDonald's, for example).

That's just a plan I wrote in five minutes. There's a ton of details I didn't mention, but if you change your mindset, those details won't be obstacles.

 

[GoodluckChuck]

** PLEASE IGNORE ALL MY PREVIOUS POSTS **

I want to start off with that. It was all stuff that came in to my mind and I thought 'oh, I can make money that way'. I finally realize the main goal should not be money. It's a 'reward' for delivering help to the needed.

I'm 24, no job and living at my parents place.
I'm happy in my personal life, got a girlfriend, family and kind friends.
But on the other side.. I've tried multiple studies, jobs and tried to launch multiple own business but it all ended up in a horrible feeling 'this isn't it.. this is not the thing which is going to make you happy'.

I've been fighting against it since I was around 17/18 years old and it never really got any better.
I have NO clue what I want! What I enjoy the most, what I want to do for a living, what my interests are (I guess gaming isn't a thing to get going). Besides having a good time with my girlfriend I play videogames and that's it... I know I should DO more but I've no clue on what.. I tried multiple Udemy courses in different niches, took several jobs, different studies etc and it all ended up; I'm not happy.

I'm really close to giving up on all and just accept my fate I won't accomplish something in my life what is going to make me truly happy or give me a reason to wake up with a smile.

Really desperate and kind of finding my solution here.. so please don't be too harsh on me.. I really need help to get out of this unhappy circle and become a happy human being.

Check out Jordan Peterson. His books are great and his YouTube channel addresses this issue directly.

He says that happiness is less important than having meaning and purpose. It's true right?

If you have a child and you take responsibility for making sure it survives, your happiness is secondary to that childs survival. The fact that you succeed in fulfilling your responsibility puts a smile on your face.

He surmises that the key to a good life is taking responsibility. Lifting a load. Doing something that isn't easy.

I agree.

I know that during times of my life when I was doing exactly what I knew I was supposed to be doing, my life felt like it had meaning.

He references a book called Man's Seach For Meaning a lot. I haven't read it but it's on my list.

Here's a montage video of Peterson lectures. Maybe it will provide a good intro for you to know if you want to hear more. Good luck.

View: https://youtu.be/HLP7jEVIh8U

 

[River McTasney]

** PLEASE IGNORE ALL MY PREVIOUS POSTS **

I want to start off with that. It was all stuff that came in to my mind and I thought 'oh, I can make money that way'. I finally realize the main goal should not be money. It's a 'reward' for delivering help to the needed.

I'm 24, no job and living at my parents place.
I'm happy in my personal life, got a girlfriend, family and kind friends.
But on the other side.. I've tried multiple studies, jobs and tried to launch multiple own business but it all ended up in a horrible feeling 'this isn't it.. this is not the thing which is going to make you happy'.

I've been fighting against it since I was around 17/18 years old and it never really got any better.
I have NO clue what I want! What I enjoy the most, what I want to do for a living, what my interests are (I guess gaming isn't a thing to get going). Besides having a good time with my girlfriend I play videogames and that's it... I know I should DO more but I've no clue on what.. I tried multiple Udemy courses in different niches, took several jobs, different studies etc and it all ended up; I'm not happy.

I'm really close to giving up on all and just accept my fate I won't accomplish something in my life what is going to make me truly happy or give me a reason to wake up with a smile.

Really desperate and kind of finding my solution here.. so please don't be too harsh on me.. I really need help to get out of this unhappy circle and become a happy human being.

I sometimes catch myself caught up in the same mind set. I won't get into the encouragement/motivation too much. Plenty of people have already posted it and it is good stuff.

Now I know everyone has there own unique process to achieve something but I do believe having tools and instructions to take action on are good to get some steps taken and take some actions. It seems like you are stuck in a rut of un-accomplishment. From my experience, the momentum of accomplishment is not built on one single big accomplishment but small and growing accomplishments. I can relate to this in all of my work and life endeavors. Microscopic wins turn into tiny wins, tiny wins turn into small wins, small wins turn into big wins, big wins turn into huge wins, and so on.

You can't win until you start down a path you can start winning at. I'm not saying you won't fail or lose. It's like snowball rolling down a hill, realistic hill. First, a very small snowball has to be made. Then it has to be started down the hill. In the beginning, it's going to get stopped by a lot of pebbles, sticks, and other obstacles where it will have to be pushed over or the obstacle will have to be moved. This hill also starts out an almost flat slope so that snowball might have to be consistently pushed for a little littlewhile. But for the most part it will move in a direction and every roll will essentially equal a win. Eventually it will start rolling multiple rpms at a time as it gains size, weight, and momentum and the hill gains more pitch in the slope. Once it is big enough and has enough momentum nothing can stop it from rolling. But that's not how it starts. You may think you can build a snow ball that big from the begin then push it down but it doesn't work that way. Now you might manage to get it built to the huge size without tiring out but I can almost guarantee you will tire out pushing on the almost flat slope at the beginning of the hill. Hopefully, you understand where I am going with this by now.

Okay I've given you a somewhat simple parable or visual or whatever you want to call it. Now I will give you a small process I use to get my snowball made.

1. I get out a sheet a paper and write down 5-6 general actionable items depending on my situation. Don't put numbers by them.
Example:
- Self organize
- self educate
- health/fitness
- find job/build business
- outside time

2. Now I put times next to each one as if I were scheduling my day.
Example:
Self Organize: 6AM - 7AM
Self Educate: 7:30AM - 9AM
Find a job/Build Business: 9AM - 3PM
Health/Fitness: 4PM-6PM
Outside Time: 7PM-8PM

3. I put tasks next to each general actionable item. Some of these tasks could stay the same for it particular general actionable item for a long time and they may start as something as simple as waking up on time and brushing teeth. Some are task you need to complete that day.

Self Organize: 6AM - 7AM
- Wake up, brush teeth
- Make bed/clean up
- go over tasks for rest of day

Self Educate: 7:30AM - 9AM
- Read Chapter of book and take notes
- Read Fastlane Forum until time is up

Find a job/build business: 9AM-3PM
- Build resume/get somebody to review it and give you pointers/touch up after feedback (need to complete that day),
- Apply for at least 3 jobs online (need to complete that day, it doesn't matter whether you are interested in them or even plan on taking them if they were offered. You can win an interview and not take the job)
- write down 10 problems that you notice need to be solved (potential business ideas)

Health/Fitness: 4PM - 6PM
- Work out plan for that day.

Outside Time: 7PM - 8PM
- Take dog for a walk

3. Repeat and make adjustments as necessary.

If you attempt all of those things and accomplish one you have a small win and a very small snowball made. Remember that was an example, you will need to fill in with whatever you come up with as being best for now. The biggest thing is you have some kind of accomplishment on record. From here I let this process snowball. As you get more into the flow you can add a few more things but you still want to keep it simple. Remember to stay away from setting yourself up for action fakes.

Mine currently looks like this.

Computer Stuff for business: 6AM-7:30AM
- Write product description for each product
- Edit product pictures in photoshop/still teach myself photoshop

Go to my sales job/learn sales: 8AM - 5PM
- 1 commercial meeting for new HVAC system
- 1 Commrcial meeting for HVAC mods
- Make quote for residential customer
- follow up with 2 residential customers
- Get owner of company to come with me on a couple of meetings. ( he is great at sales and the best way to learn is to bring him along and let him be involved when he can)

Outside time: 5:30PM - 6:30PM
- Take Poncho to dog park

Work on physical business stuff: 6:30-8:30
- Take pictures of new shirt product

Self Organize: 8:30-9:30
- clean up/Organize RV
- eat/shit/shower
- Make tasks for next day
- go over vision board
- pray/go to sleep ( do not forget to sleep)

Im not saying I am perfect every day. Sometimes I get some of this stuff done when I free up at work because I have put myself in a job position that allows for this at times. Fortunately right now my high metabolism does not require me to work out every day but I still squeeze in a good long run and a hard work out every now and then to keep my body on its toes.

The main thing is start as simple as possible. You might just start with one task for each general item each day. I actually recommend you do one a day for at least a week. You don't want to put yourself into analysis paralysis. What I have given you is my example and my process so yours might be a little modified and different but it needs to be simple. And I recommend just putting the General Items with times on a piece of paper taped on your bathroom mirror or a wall you look at everyday like in front of your desk, it will pretty much stay the same. If you change it, tear down and re-tape another. From there every morning or night before write down the tasks you are going to do for each item for that day. Write down little tasks day by day. It may not seem like a lot in the beginning but look at what you have accomplished at the end of the week.

Anyways maybe this will help. I'm still working on my snowball and in I have started to get to the point where I notice my snow ball starting to roll on it's own some in my sales abilities. Let's just say in the beginning I thought $500,000 in sales was going to be all I could accomplish in one year for my first time in my particular sales job. Now I'm 10 months in and about 200,000 away from 1 million and have a $300,000 job starting and a very possible $250,000 job pending. Granted this is sales for my job not my business but as far as relative income goes I am definitely outdoing most of my fellow graduate buddies.

I want to say I am young and I still have a lot to learn so take what I say with a grain of salt if you have to. Like my mom always told me, "listen to what they say and take what you can learn from it." Hopefully it might help you in some way form or fashion.

Good Luck.
Riv

 

[Fassina]

Meditate for 5 mins a day with love sharing meditations from Jack Cornfield. That helps. Other than that make enough money to do what you want. Get more positive hobbies, like a sport, rock climbing, hiking, preferably something social.

Do that and find new interests every 6 months to a year.

People probably already said this, but happiness is supposed to be a reward for action, not a constant emotion. Yes you can raise the baseline with meditation and a better life, but don't expect to be happy all the time. That's fantasy not even the woo woo people believe it's possible.

 

[Einfamilienhaus]

1. Asking: How to be happy? Is the same like asking for the purpose of a stone.

For one guy it is just a stone.

For the other you can build houses or walls.

For the other you can throw it at your enemy.

Don't ask what's right or wrong. Trust yourself. Trust your gut.

What's right for me. Could be wrong for you.

If you dont know how to drive a car. Ask for help how to do it. But don't ask the same guy if a car is necessary for you.

Don't spend your time watching YouTube videos and try to find solutions. In some cases it helps. But in most cases its only about clicks and gathering email adresses for more shitty products.

Like how to be confident in 3 Steps.

Well, no thanks. I will keep my money for the ebook "How to seduce every women in 4 Steps ". That's something I really need.

2. You are not honest about yourself.

You are 24 and have no job? So you are not even taking the responsibility to care about yourself?

Most of us have or had pretty shitty jobs.

But in your case.

We are not even talking about escaping the system of a wage slavery.

Damn.

What are you doing the whole day?

Playing Games and dreaming about Big pimp'n Money?

It's your life and your own responsibility to go your own way. You are the only one in this world who truly can take the responsibility about yourself.

Not your mother. Father. Girlfriend. Friends.

YOU are the only one.

The earlier you truly understand this. The better your life gets.

I get crazy when people giving the advice: Find your Life purpose! And you will be happy!

Ok. My life purpose is to be a millionaire. So what now?

3. A comfortable bed makes you sleep well. To be comfortable in life is dying slowly from inside.

You want rule the Million Dollar Game?

Ok!

How much pain and discomfort do you have on your suffer bank account to pay?

The only currency the world accepts for success is suffer.

No Credit cards accepted! Sorry.

No suffer. No success.

We all have to much comfort in every life aspect that we prefer more making ourselves to slaves. Instead of living in "freedom" and oh bad....having less.

Give something to the world. It also means giving something up. And you will get it more and in a better way back.

The world needs more people who give and its very thankful for every giving it gets.

There are too many people who take. Or think it's their right to take. Without any offer of giving something back.

Not even being thankful.

4. Why we are always focusing on being Happy?

The today's meaning of happiness is just an ebook scam.

You want to be happy?

Give me your email adresse.

Or buy my Netflix memberships.

Or look here!

Order now on Amazon and you get 10% off.

Hurry up Boy! This offer doesn't stay long.

Buy.
Buy.
Buy.
Watch.
Watch.
Watch.
Discuss.
Discuss.
Discuss.

If you are using the same tools as everyone. You become like everyone else.

You have sometimes to f.k. yourself.

Deep and hard.

If you are not ready for that.

You are not ready for the success.

Sad but true.

 

[Jeff Noel]

give yourself a break. You have time.

Although I understand your point, I think the problem is that he feels like he's wasting his time trying to find something that makes him genuinely happy and never finding satisfaction.

@Wiezel What is something you like, that you wish you would do more ? You said you liked gaming. Is it more like a casual hobby, or you enjoy being competitive and taking the first position on the leaderboards ?

In your favorite video game of the moment, would you say your skill level is above average ? You could record videos (since everybody is streaming lately, quality videos are lacking) of tips and tricks for regular people.

You're a casual player and don't care about getting better ? Then why not stream while playing. Stream and be yourself. If you enjoy streaming with 0 viewers, then perhaps you can keep going and tell your friends to watch you, then make a quick FB Page and share videos/stream highlights there, etc.

At least, your hobby could end up growing into something bigger.

 

[Bekit]

I just wrote this answer for another post, but it might help you, too, if you have NO clue what you want or no clear direction to pursue.

RANT - Need Life Advice/Very Long Rant

 

[Wiggly0607]

[QUOTE="MTEE1985, post: 770227, member: 57552"

Second, if you aren’t exercising everyday, start today. If you aren’t reading books (where are you MFL and Unscripted badges??) start today. Write down your goals no matter how audacious they may be. Figure out what you would do if money wasn’t an issue.

”[/QUOTE]

Good point about the badges, I didn't even notice that. Assumed all folks on here had done that.

Start TMF today!

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Serve! (Provide service, help, assistance, to provide service).
You can do it for free and then build from there.

Personally, there's a satisfaction I feel when I am able to provide something to someone. That satisfaction makes me feel happy. Hopefully, that can start you in a path of happiness.

 

[Ninjakid]

Another tidbit I wanted to share.

Many coaches recommend athletes gradually build up the amount they can train. This makes sense as to avoid burnout and overtraining.

However, some athletes do the opposite. They train as hard as they can until they're overtrained. Then they recover, and they do it all over again. The body learns that it has to strengthen and build it's defences and therefore you're able to train longer and harder. This is how Lebron runs his training camps.

This has always been my approach whether in athletics or in business. I would do as much as I can, and then some more, and keep repeating until it got easier.

A while ago when I wasn't feeling motivated and was wasting a lot of time, I decided to shock myself into discipline. I forced myself to do the things that felt like hard work.

For a while it felt like I wasn't getting anywhere as I would feel burned out. But then I noticed something after a few months. My baseline had raised. It didn't feel like as much of a challenge to get myself to work. It really didn't matter how motivated I felt, I just did what I needed to do.

So try that, do as much as you can do, even if it's only an hour. Eventually, you'll be able to do more and more, and it won't even feel hard.

 

[socaldude]

Being happy first regardless of external circumstances helps a lot in becoming successful.

Usually three things cause unhappiness:
-Memories
-Distorted sense perception by our belief system.
-Unfulfilled desires.

The most powerful illusion that drives unhappiness is the idea that our perceptions and memories are somehow objective judgements of reality when they are not.

Zero intelligence that is filtered by our body is reliable. It must be integrated by our minds.

The key then would be to arrive to some kind of internal awareness and centeredness where we are influenced very little by external effects.

Think about what happens when someone dies. What is left? The body is gone, memories are gone, images from our eyes are gone. An absolute eternal awareness of natures intelligence and yourself is left.

Another way to put it is freedom and independence causes happiness. With the highest degree of independence and freedom being our minds/soul.

 

[Guest921Y]

Another thing.. you should be happy to be 24 and have your whole life ahead of you to create something amazing! I'd love to be 24 and have those extra 20 years, knowing what I know now! Time is one thing you can never get back!

 

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[Rabby]

I talked with a great local guy the other day. Semi-retired CEO with over 8,000 people in one company he managed, now owns a business coaching practice. Something he said struck me.

"People are happiest when they're making progress toward a meaningful goal."

At the moment my thought was, this could be another way to help employees feel happy and motivated. You naturally think people want "appreciation," and they do, but they may want "progress toward a meaningful goal" even more.

This applies to us all... if we're working toward something we think is important, and making progress, we feel happy.

 

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