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HOW DO I SERIOUSLY GIVE UP GAMING

TheTruth

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Although I like a lot of the suggestions, the truth of the matter is, games are easy to re-install and when you really want to play them, you will go out of your way to do so.

Uninstalling games is a correct step in the process, but it's only 1 step.

@snowbank said it the best, put yourself in a position where you cannot fail.

For me (and for many others i've talked to), putting myself in the correct environment is on the only way to do it. Snowbank has talked a lot about how he moved to a 1 bedroom and all he had was a mattress and his computer. 16 hours a day he would work on business and eat crackers.

Personally, I got out of my toxic environment and moved way down south into an area that motivates me. One of the sticking points has been my roomate @JasonR who will whoop my a$$ if i'm slacking. We work side-by-side and we can always see what the other one is doing.

If you start slacking and look over at the other guy and hes not slacking, you feel bad and go back to work. On top of that, if you take a break and it lasts very long, you get questioned. The standard is high, but honestly unless you put yourself in a position that will push you so far out of your normal routine where it engraves new habits (and makes them stick), going back to gaming will be much easier 7 days from now, when you don't feel motivated.

You may be at a point where you make a big time decision like this, or you may not be. Either one is fine, but as you keep going through life and grabbing new realizations on what it actually takes to run a business, make sure this message keeps creeping back into your head.

Deep down you already know intuitively what action you need to take in order for you to really be focused. Now, that intuition is 100% correct, but it also scares the shit out of you.

Will you do it anyway?

Side note: No matter what, old habits will want to creep in at times of adversity. Personally for me that has been sweets (chocolate, sugar etc). Since I have an addictive personality, if i start eating that stuff, i don't stop (and I will go to the store to buy more - relate this to re-installing video games). Overall, I exercise everyday and eat very healthy, but this has been my achillies heal for a very long time. So on top of my kick as environment and everything I have in place, I wrote @JasonR a cheque (yes an actual cheque he can cash at any time) of $500 if I eat anything with sugar or sweets until a certain date, where I am allowed to treat myself. These cheques have gone from $20 and grown because i didn't care enough to lose $20 and would sometimes do it because i really just wanted to eat some chocolate.

Massive change takes extreme measures for a while. Don't let anyone convince you it will be easy shaking off the habit. Just know, if it's hard and you are really struggling, it's a good thing because you know you are pushing yourself to new limits.
 

pickeringmt

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Here is the real deal here:

Gaming is situational avoidance - you game because it is a way to ignore reality.

You ignore reality because you believe - whether consciously or unconsciously - it hurts less to look away from the things about your life that you want/need to change than it does to look right at them.

Drugs, alcohol, gaming, TV, porn - these are all ways to distract yourself from the messages that your life is sending you. The messages you are ASKING your life to send you to get yourself off your a$$ and become the person you actually want to be.

Want to quit gaming? Drugs? Anything else that you mysteriously do to yourself that inhibits your own growth?

Next time you want to game, stop and ask yourself "what just made me want to sit down and play - right now?"

Not "Why do I like this"

Not "Why do I do this"

In that moment, what was it that flipped that switch and made you want to tune out.

Now, ask yourself what you are feeling in that moment- Anxiety? Loneliness? Fear?

Do this for a few days and my guess is that you will see a pattern.

Now comes the hardest part - you have to look that fear, whatever it is, right in the face. You have to accept that part of yourself, and realize that it isn't the gaming (or drugs, porn, TV, overeating) that is your problem:

Your problem is whatever you are using these things to ignore; the things that you are afraid to confront.

"The biggest problem most people have is that they believe they shouldn't have any" - Tony Robbins
 

MJ DeMarco

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If you wanted to you would. Next?

Exactly. What's most important in your life will occupy your time.

When real success is more important to you than fantasy success, that's when you will quit. Until then, you're susceptible to action fakes.
 

CryptO

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Hi guys.. I have a real big problem. I can't do anything or finish anything unless I quit games. I know it's not a serious condition that I have, but it does get in the way with a lot of things that I do on my computer because I get way to distracted. I end up playing 1 game then another then another......again and again. It's really just frustrating at the end of it all. I realize I haven'y gotten anything done at all. And minutes of gaming have become hours and it's really depressing.

I'm not trying to limit myself to a few hours a week/day/month, but I'm trying to quit for good. I know there are those out there that play games and are successful, but I really just want to get gaming out of my life.

If you guys are wondering whether I have a gaming console or a pc, I have a pc. That's why it gets in the way so much because since I'm using my computer to play games, I can't seperate it and I end up gaming because I see it on my desktop.

I want to thank everyone and anyone who helps me overcome this. There are many things that I can do in my life and I don't want it to rot away because I simply couldn't resist my urge. Any ideas and tips would be super helpful.

Thank you again.

Have some children, that'll mess it up for you :p
 

MJ DeMarco

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Why did you resurrect this ancient thread?

Gold threads never die, especially when the points remain true.

I can't help but reflect on @MJ DeMarco's comments that spending too much time playing video games represents a lack of purpose in life.

Think about it...

  • You're given a clear, defined purpose.
  • You're awarded points, money, gold, accolades, achievements...
  • You're entertained while doing so versus in real life such things are not pleasant, called work.
  • Failure has ZERO risk except pressing reset and pissing away more of your time.
  • Failure can occur in complete ANONYMITY <--- another huge reason why they are popular with young kids
  • You acquire a false sense of meaning by being immersed in a task with rewards.
Like all addictions, there's a brain chemistry involving reward and euphoria.

There's a marked difference between gaming for entertainment (the same as social drinking) and gaming for life (alcoholism.)

At the end of the day, a hardcore gamer has supplanted a real purpose in their real life with a fake one in a fake life. And yea, if you're sleeping outside a game store for 2 days waiting for the next hot game, you've got a problem.

There's a real psychology here at work and it's very profitable. Addiction is not apart of the Fastlane equation.
 
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vxzyx

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Thank you all so much. I've deleted all of them every last one. It would be safe to say my laptop is strictly work. :) I need to get a macbook so I don't have the computer to play anything. Also they're really useful. Thank you guys so much but this is what I needed in order to take that step. It feels like a step out of my childish self and into the new me.

Thanks again.
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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I have read through most of the posts here, watched the videos and looked at different ideas everyone has to "kick the habit" but here's the truth:

You don't eliminate addictions, you can only replace them.

What people don't understand is that these video games are fulfilling your human needs.

1.) Every time you sit down to play you know that you are going to avoid pain and gain pleasure.

2.) You know that something exciting is going to happen so there's a sense of variety.

3.) You probably feel important because you're good at them.

4.) You probably feel some love and connection also -- maybe just in the sense that you're taking time for yourself some "alone time" -- or maybe it's because your team needs you.

5.) Of course you're feeling like you're growing because you're getting better, you're getting to a higher level, unlocking a new weapon, whatever.

6.) And maybe you even feel that you're contributing to a team, a person, a community.

Any time something meets 3 or more of these needs on a high level it becomes an addiction...

Let me ask you this: out of these, how intensely do you feel them when gaming? Are you sure you'll avoid pain and gain pleasure? (1-10), something new and exciting (1-10), importance/significance (1-10), connection? (1-10), growth? (1-10), contribution? (1-10)

The funny thing is it doesn't have to meet these needs very high before it becomes an addiction... but if you're rating these 7 and above across the board then you're not going to "just delete them and stop playing"

The moment you stop this behavior, you'll start something else (if not just go right back to it). This is why people stop smoking... and start eating... or they stop eating... and start drinking... The problem is if you stop gaming without confronting the real problem you'll find some other behavior to meet all of your needs. And if you don't find something that meets your needs you'll go a couple of days and then go right back to the old pattern.

There's really only 2 things we ever want to change: how we feel, and how we behave.

The reason you are gaming is to change a feeling. What is that feeling? What would you call it? Boredom? Stress? Sadness? All of these?

So this behavior or "pattern" is triggered by something -- what is it?

I can't see you. I'm not in front of you to play with your brain so you'll have to be your own coach for a second and tell yourself the truth.

In the moment you decide to turn the games on, what is going on? You are doing 3 things. You're holding your body in a certain way, breathing a certain way (physiology), next you're focusing on something specifically, and finally you're using specific language whether out loud or in your head ("I'll just play one game" or "I guess I'll go this")

This is called your triad.

So the first step is recognizing the triad (or "pattern") while it's happening.

The second step is to interrupt the pattern by doing something completely off the wall. Whether it's screaming and then running outside, or saying something really out loud, or dropping to the floor and doing 100 pushups...

The third step is to condition a NEW pattern. A new focus, a new physiology, and new words.

So the moment the pattern starts, you recognize it, interrupt it, and do the new behavior.

If you follow the steps you can break the pattern instantly but there's one last warning:

You must condition the new response. You've been playing video games for a LONG time I'm sure. So the moment you go back to gaming (because you will) -- don't see it as failure -- see it as "oh shoot, I have to condition the new behavior now".

Feel free to hit me up. I'll do whatever I can to help.
 

Kak

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I can help with this.

1. Get in the car
2. Go to the hardware store
3. Buy a good size hammer... at least 22 ounces. A 32 ounce ball pin hammer preferably.
4. Go home
5. Smash all of the games, game consoles and controllers into a pile of plastic.
6. Sell your PC and get a mac or surface because I have heard they suck at games.
7. Take a picture of the smashed up shit, post it here, and I will give you $2000 of my rep points. Post a video and Ill give you $3000.
8. Continue to impress and achieve here instead of games.
9. Don't buy any more games.
 
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vxzyx

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Hi guys.. I have a real big problem. I can't do anything or finish anything unless I quit games. I know it's not a serious condition that I have, but it does get in the way with a lot of things that I do on my computer because I get way to distracted. I end up playing 1 game then another then another......again and again. It's really just frustrating at the end of it all. I realize I haven'y gotten anything done at all. And minutes of gaming have become hours and it's really depressing.

I'm not trying to limit myself to a few hours a week/day/month, but I'm trying to quit for good. I know there are those out there that play games and are successful, but I really just want to get gaming out of my life.

If you guys are wondering whether I have a gaming console or a pc, I have a pc. That's why it gets in the way so much because since I'm using my computer to play games, I can't seperate it and I end up gaming because I see it on my desktop.

I want to thank everyone and anyone who helps me overcome this. There are many things that I can do in my life and I don't want it to rot away because I simply couldn't resist my urge. Any ideas and tips would be super helpful.

Thank you again.
 
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Tiago

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I was a hardcore gamer once, playing sometimes 16 hours per day. I remember one day I was playing for 8 hours straight and had no emotions whatsoever, no laughs, no nothing. Then I went out to play with my dog for 10 minutes and I've had the best time ever. After this I deleted all games, threw everything away.

The only way to get over is to get your house rid of the games. It's the same as the concept of buying groceries - If that chocolate bar doesn't even get into your shopping cart, you won't have the temptation to eat it at home.
 
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The-J

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Why did you resurrect this ancient thread?

It's a GOLD thread and deserves to love as long as the community will let it.

This issue affects a lot of younger guys (mainly) because video games offer an escape, emulating an environment where one is achieving their goals.

Then they look at their real life and realize that they're unhappy with all of the 'real life' stuff they've missed.

THAT'S why this ancient thread, and this discussion, should live on.
 
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vxzyx

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Thank you all for your replies. I will delete them and I will do this because of the situation that I'm in. Even though I am still young, I am not in a position where I can be stubborn. I will delete them all. Thank you.
 
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xy2_

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Can a single post change the trajectory of your life? Maybe @Kak's post did.

So it's been a month and a half since I smashed the consoles. I haven't played since.

I discovered why I played video games. Video games are a fake reality to avoid the hard, uncomfortable things that we need to do. I used to indulge in video games whenever I needed to do something hard. More than that, it became my reality, and I was distancing myself from the real world more and more.

Instead, I started helping people, in the real world. In the morning I would make it a mission to help just one person in a significant way, in any way possible. I'm proud to say I've kept up the habit.

One thing I did last month was to help someone who was looking for a software job with some recommendations from my internship as well as some advice since I saw her post on LinkedIn. Now, I didn't know the person before.

But yesterday was my birthday. And in the evening, I got a message and it was that person wishing me "Happy birthday!!"

And that was greater than any video game achievement I've gotten.
 

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Additionally, you might find it interesting that gamification of my activities help motivate me.

I'm driven by high scores, leveling up, unlocks, perks.
So I apply that to my business activities.

If I do good enough in my latest launch, I can buy a new computer, which will let me then work 3x as fast and do even better on my NEXT product launch.

If I write 5 articles this week, there's a chance that the audience will carry over into NEXT week's audience.. and the next week. The stats are just building up on top of one another making me more and more money.

Once you have a little infrastructure in place (a website with a few products) you can look at money as score in a game.
Once I systemize my entire business, I'll make some room for games in my life.
 
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Aidan

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I used to have a 1Tb HDD FULL OF STEAM GAMES. As soon as I finished MJ's book, I formatted the entire thing. I still have my gaming PC, but I haven't used it for games ever since.

I had spent so much time trying to be the best at this game or that game. So pointless. In the end, I'm playing a virtual world sitting my a$$ in a chair cutting off my circulation -- bringing me to my next point...

Sitting is the new smoking of the 21st century. I actually have an infographic for you all:

vgpnINY.jpg


Get off your a$$, and go (re)invent something useful for the people of this world. If an electromagnetic wave were to hit earth right now, and destroy every electronic system in existence, your video game accomplishments, and TV knowledge mean even less than they already do right now. Stop being a useless sack of meat, bones, and 60% water, and BE PRODUCTIVE.
 
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RHL

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  • You're given a clear, defined purpose.
  • You're awarded points, money, gold, accolades, achievements...
  • You're entertained while doing so versus in real life such things are not pleasant, called work.
  • Failure has ZERO risk except pressing reset and pissing away more of your time.
  • Failure can occur in complete ANONYMITY <--- another huge reason why they are popular with young kids
  • You acquire a false sense of meaning by being immersed in a task with rewards.


I believe you missed one of the biggest ones:

You can experience the simulated rewards of quests for excellence that take decades in just a few minutes. There is no barrier to entry.

Join the navy, it may be 30 years until you command your own ship, under the watchful eye of several Admirals. You may never be an Admiral.

Boot up Mass Effect, and you're in charge of your own ship *Now.*

IRL, it takes years to save up enough to buy a Ferrari.

Boot up Forza, and years becomes minutes.

It takes decades to find a spouse, built a nice home, and have a family. In The Sims it takes a few days.

It's the special forces without BUDS or equivalent, it's racing without the years of karting and practice to get your license, it's propositioning dates without fear of rejection. How many male protagonists (or female protagonists) have perfect bodies (minus a few battle scars)? Now how many times have you played a game that involved any amount of time spent in the gym? Ever notice how the crazy smart scientists in sci fi games never spend any time doing lit reviews or keeping current in their field, they're just experts in everything?

Games are a weapons-grade form of "grind cheating." Just like watching Cribs or Ballers while drooling with your mouth hanging open (or even Shark Tank). That's what they're selling.

AFqesOQ.jpg
 
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arukomp

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Here's what happened to me.

I've been a avid gamer for nearly 10 years! At certain point in my life I was so addicted to it, that I would just skip my university lectures, ignore my girlfriend, family, friends... I lost my girlfriend and was kicked out of uni all in the same year, and even that did not stop me from gaming.

So what did? How did I completely stop playing computer games?

What I realised at certain point was that the REASON I was playing games, was because I would get those fake achievements. An in-game achievement felt good, really good, and that kept me going. I could not find the same kind of sense in real life. The whole idea of having to work endless hours, study and care about people seemed to dull as compared to grinding my way to that epic achievement online! I was getting appreciation, fame, digital money, a huge sense of achievement online, so why would I ever want to live the Real Life??

One day I met a girl online. She never played games. In fact, she sucked at them completely. Instead, she was a great achiever in real life. She was a lot younger than I was, and had achieved much more! I got jealous as we kept chatting on and on, every single day. I would spend hours just chatting to her instead of gaming. I was shocked seeing how I just completely ignored games for the last few days.

With my mind fresh from new insights, philosophies, I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life just playing games. Hell, I wouldn't wish that kind of burden on my family and friends. I knew I had to become SOMETHING. I knew I had to make Real Life Achievements. So I started reading. Rich Dad Poor Dad, The Slight Edge, The Millionaire Fastlane , The 80/20 Principle, etc. I was fascinated by all the great people who have hit the jackpot in life, who have achieved all those great things. I wanted to be like them. I read more about these great achievers and started idolising them.

The books I read had changed my thinking. I realised I am more than capable of achieving something in real life, and that the games I played acted only as a set-back. Every day you wake up, you choose how you want to spend it. You can either enjoy playing games, or you can enjoy reading a book or talking to people. You can spend half a day in bed being hungover and then hit the next club that same evening, or you can have some coffee, write a blog post, hit the gym and finish the day with a book in your hand. Your life will go downwards, or upwards. You can rot, or you can improve, but your life WILL go a certain direction. It's your choice which one it is.

I chose to improve. Every day. Gaming does not help that, so I chose not to spend my time doing that.


Oh, and I sold my Windows machine and got a MacBook instead. Gaming on a MacBook SUCKS!! That kinda puts me off gaming as well :D
 
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RHL

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RHL

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Uninstall all your games. When it takes you 40 minutes to begin playing and you have to start at square 1 when you begin, you will have set in motion a counter-process to ward off the bad event. Right now the event is too easy to access, and it's creating an unintended process of failure and wasted time. When you've got the money to vacation in France for three weeks, you're not going to be crying about how you miss GTA.
 

The-J

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I gave up gaming a while back.

I just replaced it with shit talking on the Fastlane Forum and Reddit.

Don't replace one addiction with another.

Don't be me.
 
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If all else fails a great way to clear computer related addictions/dependency is to clear off travelling for a while. I used to waste hours and hours dicking around on sites like Reddit and Facebook everyday. Took a month out to go interrailing around Europe where the only internet available was the iffy hostel wifi you could use on your phone and any desire for the net just evaporated. I remember walking in to a new hostel in Barcelona and being excited because they had some nice computers I could use to check my fb or whatever. 10 seconds after logging in I'd already turned the thing off realising I no longer cared about the random shit online that has nothing to do with my life.

Give your brain a whole month at least without that stimulus and it will really start to change
 
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Ubermensch

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Hi guys.. I have a real big problem. I can't do anything or finish anything unless I quit games. I know it's not a serious condition that I have, but it does get in the way with a lot of things that I do on my computer because I get way to distracted. I end up playing 1 game then another then another......again and again. It's really just frustrating at the end of it all. I realize I haven'y gotten anything done at all. And minutes of gaming have become hours and it's really depressing.

I'm not trying to limit myself to a few hours a week/day/month, but I'm trying to quit for good. I know there are those out there that play games and are successful, but I really just want to get gaming out of my life.

If you guys are wondering whether I have a gaming console or a pc, I have a pc. That's why it gets in the way so much because since I'm using my computer to play games, I can't seperate it and I end up gaming because I see it on my desktop.

I want to thank everyone and anyone who helps me overcome this. There are many things that I can do in my life and I don't want it to rot away because I simply couldn't resist my urge. Any ideas and tips would be super helpful.

Thank you again.


Yea. That's really F*ckin' cool.

Video games are fun. I am a big fan of the Assassin's Creed Series. The game play, and the trailers... it's like you're watching and BEING modern-day Musashi, strategically maneuvering through life as a true RONIN.

Think of your life as your own video game, kind of like Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic. Your life is a role-playing game. What sort of character are you? Which side of the force will you master? The dark? Or the light? Or... both...?

Heh-heh-heh.

Are you the kind of hero that will actually accomplish something amazing in the real world? Do you deserve your own epic soundtrack when you arrive on the scene? Will you unashamedly aim at the heavens... because that's what Ayn Rand would've wanted? Will you have a crowning moment of tremendous triumph - a moment that would make Friedrich Nietzsche stand up and ROAR: HELL, YEA!

Will you listen to Robert Greene throughout the 50th Law, and in Mastery (the book inspired BY the 50Th Law), when he tells you that you need to accept drudge work... you need to sit through the "boring" times in life... you can take some wretched glory for yourself.

Take some for yourself. Fortune is a woman, Machiavelli advises (warns... ENCOURAGES?), and she needs to be beaten and treated roughly in order for her to behave.

So treat her roughly then.

Get off your lazy butt, and stop pursuing a fake goal ("beating" a video game) that accomplishes nothing for you in reality (but it DOES help the dreams of the folks who programmed and created that little mind maze for you to buy).

Here is a perfect analogy. Playing video games is akin to watching pornography. Essentially, you're only fantasizing about what you wish you could be doing in real life. If the dream is great, how great will it be for the dream to come true?

I think a site like this is the perfect stage to UNLEASH a a glorious, epic moment... in the category of Halo 3 in Greatness.

Why not make YOUR story rated (M) for MATURE, because YOUR STORY contains blood, intense violence, sexual themes and strong language?
 
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danoodle

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I've struggled with this "problem" my whole life. Starting all the way back on NES as a kid I played every console growing up. I eventually "graduated" to computer games; I played Diablo 2 and Warcraft 3 non-stop in college, going to LAN parties and all that jazz, even had a bot running 24/7 in Diablo and would sell the items I found so I justified it as not a total waste of time. Fortunately for me, I still managed to have a very healthy social life and was very active in various associations as well. I even switched to polyphasic sleeping for a time and getting 3 hours of sleep a night in order to get my fix.

The last couple years I have been playing league very heavily, but have managed to tone it down. Even as recently as earlier this year, I got involved in my first p2w game (these games are pure evil!!!) and dropped a few hundred on it and countless hours. I really didn't think I had a major problem until some people at the fastlane summit talked some sense into me. It still took me a month to quit the game after the summit. I saw no harm in silly games, yet they were consuming my life and taking away from me the things that truly mattered. All the talk of a false sense of accomplishment is so true.

I can happily say that my only gaming fix as of right now is a couple games of league a few times a week. This still might seem a lot to some people, but for me it is quite low. If you can somehow manage your time spent, I don't see it as a bad thing, just another form of entertainment that should be limited. However video game addiction is very real, and falling into that trap can set you way back in achieving your life goals.

I don't regret all the time spent on games, but somehow I managed to eke out a pretty good life and achieve a lot of goals despite my addiction. Just like anything in life, it's all about moderation.

Honestly, I think a big thing that helped me get over playing in excess is having a kid. I'm not saying you should do this solely for the purpose of quitting haha, but the fact that I now need to be more responsible and set a good example is what got me to "quit" for the most part. I think admitting you have a problem is key and always having something productive to work on. Boredom will kill you and cause you to go back to playing. Even if you are just reading a personal development or business book, can help get you on the right track. Games seem so innocent, but just like any vice, take away from getting what you really want in life. Good luck to anyone fighting this battle :)
 

xy2_

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I can help with this.

1. Get in the car
2. Go to the hardware store
3. Buy a good size hammer... at least 22 ounces. A 32 ounce ball pin hammer preferably.
4. Go home
5. Smash all of the games, game consoles and controllers into a pile of plastic.
6. Sell your PC and get a mac or surface because I have heard they suck at games.
7. Take a picture of the smashed up shit, post it here, and I will give you $2000 of my rep points. Post a video and Ill give you $3000.
8. Continue to impress and achieve here instead of games.
9. Don't buy any more games.

I took up your advice, @Kak:

All of my consoles went through this, you get the idea. Here's the result:

33698
 
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