Hello everyone! Please, check into this thread!

[Briefcase87]

Hello everyone, my name is Josh Long. For 4 years, I was an FMF Corpsman (combat medic for the Marines) and did a 7 month tour to iraq in 2008. While I was in Ramadi, I was injured by an IED during a fire fight. Requiring multiple surgeries, (around 10 total, when I am finished) needless to say, they did not keep me in! Can't stay in if you are no longer deployable, right?

Well, I knew I wouldn't be in much longer due to these injuries, but I had a pretty stable plan. I would do photography as my business, and let my wife help to bring in some money while I go through the paperwork and process of getting VA Disability. Little did I know, that the usual turn around times for this is about 3 years! Great news, huh?

So, time goes by, there goes my apartment..my car (08 Si 2dr coupe, 61 trim turbo pushing 472 to the wheel at 8.5lbs of boost!) I loved that car, but shes gone, as well as computers and stuff here and there, and then it gets to about 1 1/2 years after my honorable discharge from the military, that I still have yet to recieve anything from the VA Hospital, besides many doctors and promises of surgeries and hopeful recoveries.. My photography equipment has to go..

Saving so much of my checks, and believe me, even married, living off base, getting comrats and bah, these checks are no grand living expedintures by no means.. But I saved, and in time, owned around $16,000 worth of Nikon cameras, lenses, flashes and other equipment.. This was my main "hobby" at the time, knowing it would be my business.. I still made quite a pretty penny "Moonlighting" as the Military calls it, being a photographer on the side. Even did most of the photography for my command, and quite a few bases around our area, there commands too. Such as picnic outings, formal and informals, meetings, reward ceremonies, promotion ceremonies, retirement ceremonies, the works.

But, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? Well, as of August 2009 it will be two years, since I have been out, and I finally got a lawyer to try and speed things up. However they will take 25% right off the top of my back pay, which I am looking at getting a minimal of $80k + so that kind of sucks, you know? But it is sure better than mostly living in my wifes' deceased (bless her heart) grand mothers car, and others staying with my step-dad who no longer is with my mother, and is an alcoholic, and complete a$$ hole. Very abusive (my childhood years) and now verbally abusive, not so much has changed.

Being so in the position, causes a lot of stress as you can imagine, and many fights. Looks to me as if we are headed to divorce unless I can get something done, and fast. People say that money doesn't buy happiness.. Well they are full of shit, because when you are dirt poor, you are one sad and stressed person (at least in my experience it is that way).

Before I move on, I want to gratefully thank you for actually reading this novel, I can't help but to be very grateful of what I have, and what I have done in the past for my country. I know it was long, but I do appreciate it.

Now, to the business side. Where, (I am sure there has to be a certain place) would I go with a business idea, propostion so-to-speak? Now, I am not asking for any money or something like that, because no one would probably take me serious.. But, I wil NOT give out any information right yet on this idea. Yes, it's THAT GOOD! For someone serious enough, to want to make a crazy ton of money, and I am sure, crazy fast.. Than please, do not hesitate to contact me.

Now, this proposal isn't for anyone and everyone.. It is for those select few out there, who have the meat behind it. I am sure it wouldn't be cheap to set up, because of needing a location, hiring employees, marketing, advertising, etc etc.. However, I will be doing a lot of that myself. But for those who meet this criteria, I would be willing to spill the beans, in a face-to-face meeting with lawyers present.

Again, guys and gals.. This is a gold-mine and the research I have done has come up with nothing! No one is doing this, especially what I want to do, and it's all ready to go! Business plans are made, and numbers, well those would be astronomical..


Please, if you fit this criteria, contact me! Everything will be done in person! For more information, just ask and I will see what I can do!

Thank You.

Sincerely,
Josh Long

 

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[Anon3587x]

Looks like a scam.

Way to prey on the emotions of civilians who can't stand to see a veteran in a bad situation. Who wants to give somebody money who is so F*cked financially?

 

[TOLDUSO]

Navy Veteran here myself, and I can say that my experiences with the VA (while not on the token of medical or surgical) have been second to none even up to this very day. It is unfortunate that you may have had a bad experience. Also, I think you need to recheck the date in your write-up, because "August 2009" has come and gone. Maybe just a typo....

I strongly agree with bateati, above. While I respect your service, your injuries do not set you apart from the next guy who served nor apart from anyone currently standing the watch. In my field (which if it were not for the VA I could never have afforded to be in, initially) I have met some of the former FMF guys who have matriculated into the working force, and so I know why you feel more inclined to lean towards saying you were more a part of the "men's department" of the Navy... Haha. The grunts in these divisions, no doubt, think of the corpsman as one of their own.

There are countless resources and people here who are eager to help point you in the right direction and make informed decisions about the next steps in your venture. I don't foresee you getting anyone here to jump onboard, though, as that's not the SOP here.

However, as a veteran, especially disabled, you should know that you have a ton of resources already available in addition to the Fastlane. You even get priority for grants and business loans that are ready for the picking if you have everything lined out correctly in way of a business plan and model. Not to mention, if you are looking for VC's, they shouldn't be hard to find, even locally, if your idea is up to par. I would suggest ditching the wounded veteran part of your pitch, though. It's more humble and honorable to only bring it up if asked.

Can you fill us in a little more on at least the area of service that your idea is aimed at? You don't have to, and shouldn't be too detailed about anything, but it may help lure out some of the folks here who are more inclined to help out.

Respectfully,

R

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Josh, your service is appreciated more than you can know. Thank you, although this thread is somewhat spammy (a few have already reported it).

However, you should know since you are new here: This is NOT a place of IDEAS, but a place of ACTION.

I swear, if I read another thread about someone having this legendary, million dollar idea and I can't tell you ab out it, but I want to sell it, get investors, blah blah (but do none of the hard work required to make that idea real) I'm gonna puke.

You want money? Partners? Investors? Funding? Then put that idea to reality and make it real -- you'll have all the aforementioned breaking down your door, fighting to give you money.

While I might be wrong, I translate this thread as this: "I have an idea (event) and I want to outsource process and get someone else to do all the hard work work so I can get rich"

 

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[Briefcase87]

Ok, sorry i dont get online much. So let me try and answer a few of these replies.

1: I never asked for your F*cking pity penny, so go to hell. Read again please.
2: If you don't believe me, thats fine and dandy, I got the medals to prove it if you want to come over and check 'em out. Along with scars, pictures, uniforms and letters of recommendation. (Oh ya, even a VA ID!!)
3: Its not the quality of care I am recieving, its the fact that it takes 2-3 years to recieve that rating for disability. I am already approved. Been approved. Been seen, have great doctors, getting surgeries set up.. It's just trying to get the government to pay whats owed to you. If you don't understand that, then I don't think you have ever even worked for the govt let alone, in the military. "Hurry up and wait." Ring a bell?
4: Again, let me say I never said "Yo rich ppls, give me your moneyz and i givez u my ideaz." No, I think it was more along the lines of.. "I want to meet face-to-face, with lawyers present." How would that be a scam?
5: I also just remembered, I am sure I put in that novel above, that please if this is the wrong section, point me to the right one. I will gladly remove what I have said, and make a better post there.
6: If I actually do have someone interested, the meeting would consists of introductions and greetings, than straight to business, where I will show my research into the numbers and statistics, which I have found, and quite dramatically UNDERestimated, giving a ton of room for more and it still comes out to a lavish lifestyle, and no this isn't a hit it and quit it type of thing, this is something I would want to continue working with until retirement, given I can put it into motion and take the chair up top, or nearly there.
7: I dont want to just live my life sitting on the couch collecting disability. I want to work and earn a nice living. I would be in a hospital working somewhere, but with these surgeries I need, I am pretty much a hazard to patients if something where to happen, and my knee's popped out of place and I dropped a patient or something like that. So I take this very seriously.
I will read through again in a minute, I need to go fix the coolant hose in this car, before we have nothing left. Lol.

 

[Briefcase87]

Btw Bate, I am guessing you where probably in a MAW div or in the rear with the gear and the bitches, since you have no idea what a corpsman actually means to a marine. Err devil dog, uh I mean pup.


Also, sorry I forget to reply to the best things, because of people like bate, who extremely piss me off. Do some type of research or something before you go blabbing your mouth.

I would like to thank those of you who served as well, and I appreciate the thanks that you gave me. I can tell you this, there is not much sympathy or welcome to those in the service much more these days. It is truly a shame, and completely f*cked up. It takes a special person to do what so many before me, and after me, will do and continue to do day after day.

Also MJ, just re-read your post (the ending) In my post you can see where I wrote that I want to be completely involved, doing everything I could possibly do. I have already put in the hours of research, satistics, graphing, business plans, even ways to FURTHER make a nice penny from a sort of contracts to others. I have put a great deal of time and energy into this, and I would like to find a company, or someone who would be interested in doing this. Like I said, im not asking for any money sent to me or anything like that. But I really got to go, Kristine is bitching at me to fix the car so I can make it to my doc appointment tomorrow at the Nashville VAMC. Thats a nice 302 mile trip, there and back.

Thanks,
Josh Long

 

[Icy]

Now, to the business side. Where, (I am sure there has to be a certain place) would I go with a business idea, propostion so-to-speak? Now, I am not asking for any money or something like that, because no one would probably take me serious.. But, I wil NOT give out any information right yet on this idea. Yes, it's THAT GOOD! For someone serious enough, to want to make a crazy ton of money, and I am sure, crazy fast.. Than please, do not hesitate to contact me.

1: I never asked for your F*cking pity penny, so go to hell. Read again please.

Everyone has some genius idea that they aren't willing to discuss. The problem is it generally isn't as remarkable as their adrenaline rushed brain thinks it is initially or it is going to involve a lot more sweat equity than money.

Being a good, or even great idea doesn't mean not giving out even the slightest detail. Look at many of the top things right now and they aren't original ideas, but great execution.

Google? Hell, they tried to sell their engine to Yahoo that was the top search engine at the time.

Facebook? Everyone in my generation (I'm 20) was consumed by MySpace in high school, and now the same people obsessed over it make fun of it.

I could go on, and on like Digg->Reddit, or Everquest->WoW.. There is no end to what were considered the end alls which are now crushed.

They are NOT original ideas, but great execution. Your idea is worthless - seriously. It's almost certainly not worth someones time, and money to come to you only to be slapped in the face with an NDA and discussion in front of a lawyer.

Money is not going to solve the problem of you actually having to do something. You can't just say, I want a ton of money, now I can hire people to do everything for me.

How much money is it going to take to get this 'idea' off the ground?


Edit: I just want to add that I know it looks like everyone is against 'you', but please understand there is seriously a new person each week coming here with a similar pitch. Heck, if I remember right when I joined I announced a great idea (or something), got 'negative' (but really just honest) feedback, got pissed and said I wasn't coming back. Obviously that didn't happen, but please understand it's better for us to tell you how it is than to make you waste your time thinking you're getting some where with the current approach.

 

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[TOLDUSO]

Can you spare a few hints at what area of business your idea lies in? As stated before, there are tons of people with ideas out there. MJ will be the first to tell you that regardless of how mind-blowing one's idea is, it's technically worthless. I don't think anyone is going to be willing to sit down with you unless they have at least an inkling of what it entails.

 

[JP66]

Slightly on topic...
Let's say someone has an "idea" for a website, but doesn't know the first thing about setting one up, etc... Where should that person get started? I too have an idea for a website, but don't know where to even start. Maybe briefcase87 is in the same position, but needs financial backers, etc. He has an idea but it sounds like he want's people to do the work for him...maybe he doesn't know how to do any of the work, but wants to help/learn in the process. I think many people who have "ideas" are afraid to share it because someone with greater knowledge of how to put it together would jump on the idea and get it out there first.

 

[Russ H]

Ok, sorry i dont get online much. So let me try and answer a few of these replies.

1: I never asked for your F*cking pity penny, so go to hell. Read again please.

BC, you will soon find out that using this type of language makes you persona non grata to a whole bunch of serious business investors. So think before you speak/write, if you truly want some good advice and potential $$$.

2: If you don't believe me, thats fine and dandy, I got the medals to prove it if you want to come over and check 'em out. Along with scars, pictures, uniforms and letters of recommendation. (Oh ya, even a VA ID!!)

If someone came up to you once a week, for the past 3 years, all with "I've got a great idea-- no, I mean it-- it's HUGE!!!!!!!", and then told you how much they wanted/needed the money, you'd prolly kick the next dude that did this out to the curb, too. So realize where we're all coming from here.

3: Its not the quality of care I am recieving, its the fact that it takes 2-3 years to recieve that rating for disability. I am already approved. Been approved. Been seen, have great doctors, getting surgeries set up.. It's just trying to get the government to pay whats owed to you. If you don't understand that, then I don't think you have ever even worked for the govt let alone, in the military. "Hurry up and wait." Ring a bell?

Now just read this last paragraph. It might make you feel better to write it-- but who else have you actually helped-- made their lives a better place-- by writing it?

Win-wins are where the business is, baby. Learn how to make 'em. Learn how to talk 'em.

4: Again, let me say I never said "Yo rich ppls, give me your moneyz and i givez u my ideaz." No, I think it was more along the lines of.. "I want to meet face-to-face, with lawyers present." How would that be a scam?

See above response to #2.

5: I also just remembered, I am sure I put in that novel above, that please if this is the wrong section, point me to the right one. I will gladly remove what I have said, and make a better post there.

OK, Here is where I can help you, if you're truly interested.

If you want to be a member of this community, and taken seriously, then go to the intros and tell us about who you are. Please note: You can start early (childhood) and go from there.

No business pitches, no "I have the world's best idea". Just hey, this is me. This is what I've done, and am trying to do. And here's where I can help folks: Here's my expertise (this site is all about sharing, and supporting each other, not running others down).

Big pc of advice: Try to not, at any time, make it sound like you're the victim of ANYTHING (like, slow response in getting your disability recognized). That kinda stuff just doesn't meet w/warm welcomes around here. Many of us have gotten sh*t on in our lives. We don't talk about it much-- we PERSEVERE. And have a good time doing it. :banana:

I can see you are a perseverant type of person--- so just kick up the volume on that a bit, and keep the tragedies low key.

6: If I actually do have someone interested, the meeting would consists of introductions and greetings, than straight to business, where I will show my research into the numbers and statistics, which I have found, and quite dramatically UNDERestimated, giving a ton of room for more and it still comes out to a lavish lifestyle, and no this isn't a hit it and quit it type of thing, this is something I would want to continue working with until retirement, given I can put it into motion and take the chair up top, or nearly there.

That's cool-- recommend you read MJ's book, as it may be super helpful to you in charting your course.

7: I dont want to just live my life sitting on the couch collecting disability. I want to work and earn a nice living. I would be in a hospital working somewhere, but with these surgeries I need, I am pretty much a hazard to patients if something where to happen, and my knee's popped out of place and I dropped a patient or something like that. So I take this very seriously.

Also good. I honestly think you have the mettle to make it here. But be forewarned: We are not a bunch of guys and gals who will blow happy smoke up you're kilt. We're entrepreneurs, many of us are self-made millionaires, and we don't waste our time on someone/something that doesn't show mutual respect.

That being said, welcome to the fastlane. And good luck on your next steps here, and in the world at large.

-Russ H.

 

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[wildambitions]

Great reply Russ. Welcome to the forum Breifcase - as you can tell there is has to be a lot of reading in between the lines here. Relax a little, we don't know you. Part of getting to where you want to go is building the relationships. It has to all be part of the process. Looking forward to seeing your response and action to the comments and input.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Many of us have gotten sh*t on in our lives. We don't talk about it much-- we PERSEVERE. And have a good time doing it. :banana:

Amen.

 

[Anon3587x]

Go play with your band aids

 

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[Briefcase87]

Slightly on topic...
Let's say someone has an "idea" for a website, but doesn't know the first thing about setting one up, etc... Where should that person get started? I too have an idea for a website, but don't know where to even start. Maybe briefcase87 is in the same position, but needs financial backers, etc. He has an idea but it sounds like he want's people to do the work for him...maybe he doesn't know how to do any of the work, but wants to help/learn in the process. I think many people who have "ideas" are afraid to share it because someone with greater knowledge of how to put it together would jump on the idea and get it out there first.

Kinda sorta, your on point. I definitely do not want someone else to do all the work, I have a pretty good idea how things would have to go about, but yes, someone with better knowledge than I can get this ball going yesterday.

But, if it would even be at all possible.. I would want to run this "company" if I can. I feel like, who better to make decisions than myself? Of course, I would know if I did get someone to jump in, they would have a say over things as well.. But I am not just asking for money for this idea. I guess it would be something like a partnership, perhaps instead of a sole proprietorship. It's also something that wouldn't be able to be handled by a couple of employees either. After a few months or less, I would say it would need quite an expansion, into other states for time zones possibly, given the right advertisement. As long as I could get the word out, and have a few others helping me it could blow up pretty fast.

 

[Briefcase87]

Lets start out, from what I read first, the language wasn't used to everyone. Just to bate, who threw down the slam first, without knowing shit. So he was treated how he wanted to be treated, its pretty obvious. Yeah right, grunt my a$$ Bate, if you were you would know the significance of any corpsman, that's why there is 1corpsman to 16 grunts. Every single one of my guys would take a bullet for me, and the same back. You obviously didn't do anything, because you obviously don't understand that kind of bond.

 

[Anon3587x]

Good luck with your idea

 

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[Briefcase87]

Thanks Russ, yeah I saw the intro so I thought I'd throw it out there. When I got to the bottom part, I figured I would put in a little something, and just cut it out later if needed, and put it in a different section, a little better organized.

To the above, it's revolved around phone calls, and who doesn't use a phone? Also, it's not something that would be sold, but more of a service. It is also something that once I can make it happen here in the US, would be able to be done in other countries, such as Europe.

About MJs book, I got the first three chapters for free, but unfortunately right now I seriously have 11 dollars in my pocket, and I just cannot afford it. I have to wait until I can make some more money, and after a few trips to the VA I should be able to get my bank account out of the negative from having to overdraw for gas. But I always jump back, somehow and someway.

Also, I have an appointment with a lady from VA's Regional Office to see about the VA SBA. Even though we are not talking about an Small Business here, with this particular idea.. It is something that can push me in that direction. By being able to do photography again, I can make a decent living and get my credit back on track, and have opportunities to meet people and make contacts that just may be able to help, or know someone that can.


@Bate, alright thanks.

 

[Briefcase87]

Btw, if anyone caught the part where I had to fix the car, and was just wondering.. My plans and work was futile. I figured I could just cut off the part of the heater hose that had a slice in it, since it seemed to have enough slack in the back, I could just pull it infront of the throttle body instead of around the back side, giving it enough room to attach it back to the nipple at the thermostat. Well, it worked great until I drove it. The hose is so old, and I guess dry rotted, it just ripped another hole where I put the clamp on. This time the hole was passed the nipple, so still some water (yes, no anti freeze in the winter lol) was getting in, and wasn't completely running it pegged on hot right away. So I just left it there overnight because there was nothing I could do. After calling a bunch of places, auto zone etc etc, they all had to special order this part. (Which I have become accustom to hearing about this damn Mazda.. (00' 626 6cyl) Everything has been needed to do this way, so they wouldn't have it until 2-3 days from now, and was going to cost like 30+ bucks. Well, I called O'Reillys and spoke to a gentleman there, who said he had some hoses, that can be cut to fit the length for about a dollar per foot. Well this is great news! I would just need to try and make some bends, and what not to run it from the firewall. Well I get there, and of course completely different people this morning who knew nothing of the conversation I had last night, and ended up getting about 4 different 5/8ths hoses to try and get one to fit. Two and a half hours later from borrowing their tools i finally got it done. Kristine actually helped me out too. I am no mechanic, by any means.. But when it came to my SI I could do a lot of stuff to it, including I helped put in the turbo.. But her cars engine just looked a$$ backwards, and was a real trip to try and lay on the engine and squeeze my arm into the very back to get this done. But good news at last, the car is working pretty good.

End result $4.45, banged up hands, torn fatigues (I wore them cause it was really really cold and I could put quite a few layers underneath) and taught myself and my wife to change hoses.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

BC, you need to watch your attitude around here or you're gonna get tossed -- the language and insults to others isn't going to be tolerated: If you don't like the advice, then leave. This will be your only warning. Bateati you need to abstain from further inflammatory commentary in this post.

 

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[Briefcase87]

BC, you need to watch your attitude around here or you're gonna get tossed -- the language and insults to others isn't going to be tolerated: If you don't like the advice, then leave. This will be your only warning. Bateati you need to abstain from further inflammatory commentary in this post.

No problem, but in my defense, I didn't just come in and start giving people attitude, like screw you, etc etc.. Especially about this "Advice" as you say, from which I was given. I never gave any attitude towards advice from other members. I gladly take any and all advice strongly to heart, and consider it heavily. I don't know everything, nor claim to, and I will always continue to learn for the rest of my life. I never take advice harshly. When good advice is given, I gratefully take it.

Only from the BLIND personal attack from Bate. As you can see, I only treated him the same as he treated me. I never made the slightest derogatory or offensive remark to anyone even while hearing things I didn't like. Even thanked Russ for his post for being pretty informative, and well thought out and wrote, even though it wasn't full of encouragement and the like.

I see just because of his smart-a$$ remarks, and my zealous defense of the comment, it has already tainted my name, and my standing in this community which kind of sucks, but it's ok, I don't take crap being said to me about my service, especially mocking me, or claiming me to be a liar. That is just something I will not tolerate to any extent. I am a huge people person, with great people skills. When it comes to work, I was the Command's Customer Service Manager (meaning if someone couldn't handle the issue, it was sent to me to have it resolved). Although I have never just blown up to someone like I did here, in this case with Bate, because I have been called and told a lot worse than that.. However, I kept it calm and handled the issues the patient, or patients' family member(s) were having.

I know this instance doesn't scream appraisal about my actions, but I am also not at work where the integrity of the command, and representing the command is at stake. But I will remember to try and keep the same attitude here, as I have had on the job. It is just a little bit different, sitting from the comfort of ones own chair, usually home, just doesn't always keep you from taking it too personal, even though his attack was extremely personal.

But, again.. I will try to keep that in mind, and use a more professional and discretionary approach to such comments, if they arise again.

Other comments, such as anything non-personal, you could see I didn't do the same.


Again, my apologies.

-Josh

 

[Anon3587x]

Your OP looked very spammer like.

 

[Briefcase87]

Fair enough. I can definitely see why you thought like that.

Now that I think about comments said, I am sure there really IS tons of people trying to get a quick buck for their "Brilliant Ideas" so-to-speak. So I can understand that.

But, it was the introduction part so that's why I threw it all in there. Because that's me. Just how you have your picture up on duty, to let others know, that you served, or are currently serving.

 

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[TOLDUSO]

Your name isn't tainted but I'm sure everyone appreciates the apology. As a matter of fact, because of it and since it is Christmas time, I'll personally buy you a copy of the Fastlane book. One veteran/husband/entrepreneur/etc. to another.

If you want to PM your contact information to PhxMJ (site owner, admin, and author) then I will happily cover the bill.

Regards,

R

 

[Briefcase87]

Wow, brother you really did not have to do that. But I will GLADLY accept a gift like that! I cannot wait to read it! wow wow wow, thank you so much! There are seriously not enough words, especially going through my head, that I can use to thank you enough! That really does mean a lot to me.


Sincerely,
Josh Long

 

[TOLDUSO]

Josh,

No worries. Your apology was the right way to handle the situation and you did it without arguing who was right or wrong. Most folks come back after a warning or whatever like that and flip the bird and run off mad. I can tell you have drive, and I'd rather see you stay and get something out of this place than the aforementioned scenario.

Also, I've been there with $11 in my pocket (maybe even less; thank God for $1 menus!) and a wife on my case. Focus on making things right with your wife. The positivity you churn between your life-partner will allow you to better focus on your energy onto your projects and, ultimately, your dreams. It's not the other way around. Don't think that "if I can just make this project work, things will be better between us and she will think highly of me again." or whatever the situation may be.

Best of luck.

See you around,

R

 

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[Russ H]

. . .it's ok, I don't take crap being said to me about my service, especially mocking me, or claiming me to be a liar.

Josh-

As long as you have a weakness, others will exploit it, and use it against you.

It took me 40 years to figure that out.

-Russ H.

 

[Russ H]

Your name isn't tainted but I'm sure everyone appreciates the apology.

Agreed. Taking responsibility for your words and actions counts for LOTS around here.

Your apology was the right way to handle the situation and you did it without arguing who was right or wrong. Most folks come back after a warning or whatever like that and flip the bird and run off mad. I can tell you have drive, and I'd rather see you stay and get something out of this place than the aforementioned scenario.

Also, I've been there with $11 in my pocket (maybe even less; thank God for $1 menus!) and a wife on my case. Focus on making things right with your wife. The positivity you churn between your life-partner will allow you to better focus on your energy onto your projects and, ultimately, your dreams. It's not the other way around. Don't think that "if I can just make this project work, things will be better between us and she will think highly of me again." or whatever the situation may be.

This is excellent advice. Too many guys think if they make their lives better their wives will be happier (in part b/c they hear their wives complain about their situation).

But having a partner who has your back-- who is working in the trenches w/you-- pushing in the same direction?

That's priceless.

-Russ H.

 

[Anon3587x]

This is excellent advice. Too many guys think if they make their lives better their wives will be happier (in part b/c they hear their wives complain about their situation).

But having a partner who has your back-- who is working in the trenches w/you-- pushing in the same direction?

That's priceless.

-Russ H.

That is a very great thing to think about Russ.

 

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[Russ H]

Thanks.

I spent too many years thinking about my gf's as sex objects (lots of fun) and "pals"-- but never really looked for someone who would be my partner/have my back. Someone who would stick w/me even if I lost everything, or my whole life went into the sh*tter.

I realized this was a great quality by looking at other people who had really long term marriages: Both partners were committed to making the MARRIAGE last-- not for each of them to get out of it what they wanted. So when things took a turn for the worse, instead of one partner saying, "This sucks, I'm outta here!", instead, both sat down, talked it through, and worked out a strategy for how to move forward, together.

Ever watch the Biography channel? I can't tell you how many times they'd be interviewing some incredibly successful person (Noble Prize Winner, leader of a country, billionaire, celeb-- all kinds of folks)-- and when the question "What accomplishment are you most proud of?" was asked, they said their long-term marriage and their kids.

After hearing this time after time, I started to realize that someone who had run the country, or made millions/billions, or had achieved spectacular success or fame-- all very hard work-- to them, the most rewarding (and perhaps the hardest/requiring the most work) was their long-term marriage.

Says a lot.

-Russ H.

 

[Briefcase87]

edit: Sorry for such the late response, I have been out of town. I had back-to-back appointments in Nashville at the VA, and I figured, why not just sleep in the car, instead of driving 6 hours two days in a row? (yes, I live 342 miles "round trip" from the VA) So I was actually able to make a little money from the travel pay I received instead of blowing it all on crazy high gas prices!


Oh definitely, sorry if I made it sound like she is a gold-digger.. Most certainly not that, if not for her I probably wouldn't be in "as-good-of-shape" as I am in now. She is definitely as you said Russ; "In the trenches.." with me.

To be better explain the situation, my injuries, and all these financial problems and surgeries and just life in general, creates a lot of stress. And, since I have gotten out of the service, it has gotten worse. So with all this stress comes the arguing, and being hateful. It's also a huge factor that due to medications and whatnot, my testosterone levels are that of a 90 year old man, most likely with one testicle.. So, as you can imagine, I am pretty gloomy, most often depressed, agitated and irritable and most importantly; extremely low sex drive.

And that really sucks, because my wife is a bombshell! It makes her feel bad, because like most every woman out there, whether they admit it or not (usually only to their significant other) are very self-conscious. And this makes her think, oh is she ugly, or this or that.. And it has nothing to do whatsoever with Kristine. This is purely my problem. Not my fault per-say, but it's a medical problem that I am currently trying to fix with my doctor, and getting some extra testosterone. He original said the patch or the creme, but I will only accept the shot, because the creme has a bad odor, and can transfer to a loved one; ie: wife while sleeping. And that would not be good for her health. Plus, I am well over-qualified to give myself an injection once or twice a week.

But enough about that, sorry I got side-tracked. Divorce has come up a few times in some of our major arguments, but it isn't from not having a lot of material goods, assets or money. It's from the stress it causes and from the lack of attention that I seldom give because of the fact that I do get seriously depressed from our situation, and that I feel like SHE deserves so much better than what I am capable of giving to her right now.

But I really do appreciate all the support and encouragement guys, it does mean a lot.


Sincerely,
Josh Long