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RANT Feeling stuck in a rut, any life advice (19 yo)?

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Strider

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Apr 10, 2016
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Hello everyone.
Need to vent a bit and maybe get some advice from you older guys. So I'm 19 and in college.
I have been an A/A+ all my life without much effort, I thought I was smart and all. Came to my college (top in my country) to mathematics, I wasn't really that interested (more into the job prospects) and it was extremely hard. I "studied" in a shit way (when I actually did) and go C/C- average at best. I know I didn't work shit but then I started doubting that even if I did if I would be able to do good.
Then personal life, I've always felt like and outsider and weird, I'm social, but feel different, only great around two guys (fastlane mindsets and dreamers like me), I feel misplaced and that I've nothing to give, even when I talk politics (I'm involved in them) I just feel like I'm talking for no reason generally, there are some conversations where I go into philosophy and the values I hold as fundamental (freedom and integrity) but anything more concrete I just don't really know (even though I keep talking and sometimes convincing), I also think my way of speaking is shit, my ideas come out all weird and badly thought. I've always been into girls and meeting new artistic types but generally, even though I'm interested I just get bored, I go to "parties" and it's all just noise, I drink so I can take it. If I'm with friends it gets a bit better but generally once again I just feel out of place. I can't say I'm unlucky in terms of my gene pool but in my mind I'm just not one of them, I want to be more social, specially to meet people but I hate the environment, I only take it because of the possibility of meeting someone cool.

Generally, I don't feel enough, it's not actually the problem of not belonging is thinking I'm living a lie, that I'm not enough to do shit in this world. I always thought I was smart but I feel like maybe I'm just not enough. I'm trying to force myself to be more social and start hesitating less (with girls, ideas and life in general) but those loud environments just kill me. Then when I'm in this crappy mood, I just get scared by the world, I don't have the excitement, I just feel like I'm another dude, that I won't be able to really contribute shit and I'm basically stuck.

I have ideas, generally tech/web based but then I just... feel overpowered, feeling dried out, I just want to throw up.

I know this doesn't help a thing. This is a shit mindset. I'm going to get a job after my last shitty exam, so I can get a room and move out next year (force myself out of my comfort zone, that's usually where I'm more happy, when I'm active, the problem is when I mistake movement with progress and just walk into a fake narrative that I'm doing something when I'm not). But I've felt like this all my life, I'm generally when it those friends quite positive and ambitious but then, some days, something hits me, maybe a crowded place with shitty music where I need alcohol to fuel me and I can never shut my brain off and just feel... out of place. I just look at the world in a Nihilistic sense.

All I want in life is to live, is to learn and actually do something, to help people, to be in interesting stuff. To grow. But in these off days everything is dull and grey, everything is hopeless. I look at the world and I believe in the good of people generally, but then in these moods I just see greed and pursuit of materials for the sake of it. I see mindless drones dancing, I see a lack of empathy, I see political nonsense and cries for "social justice" in such pitty topics, I see inability to reason with people, I see people going to pure demagogy and forgetting stuff that happened a week ago just because someone says pretty things, and I see myself trying to figure out where I belong, feeling powerless against a wall of apathy.

The answer is probably give value, create stuff. But then again, I start coding, I start writing and a flood of "Why the f*ck bother.", "Your IQ isn't high enough." and more stupid shit drowns me.

Sorry for the rant/venting. Any tips?
 
Last edited:

Strider

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Self Authoring - Plan a Better Life
- To discover and document personal insights you can only dig up from your own mind and experiences

Also order and read Unscripted if you haven't already!
Actually bought that, started doing it but felt weird, like I actually don't know what to write and worse, that I still keep a narrative that isn't real (but so far into it that I don't know how to distinguish it).

About unscripted , I was with the mindset of not spending money but I actually bought a reusable notebook for 10 bucks the other day and just felt stupid afterwards (the idea is using it to organize myself) so what the hell.. I'm willing to waste 10 bucks on a fake solution and not on an author I actually respect?! f*ck this.
I saw that the kindle version is 10 bucks but there's also an audible version. Which one do you recommend?
 

NoahK

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I saw that the kindle version is 10 bucks but there's also an audible version. Which one do you recommend?

I bought the Kindle version before the audio version was released, and I have to say, it's been good to have it in a written format to be able to go back and reference specific parts of the book easily. I frequently do this.
 

jsk29

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Actually bought that, started doing it but felt weird, like I actually don't know what to write and worse, that I still keep a narrative that isn't real (but so far into it that I don't know how to distinguish it).

About unscripted , I was with the mindset of not spending money but I actually bought a reusable notebook for 10 bucks the other day and just felt stupid afterwards (the idea is using it to organize myself) so what the hell.. I'm willing to waste 10 bucks on a fake solution and not on an author I actually respect?! f*ck this.
I saw that the kindle version is 10 bucks but there's also an audible version. Which one do you recommend?

I preordered the paperback version - only about halfway through and loving it so far. I recommend whatever format is most comfortable for you to consume.

There's a decent amount of content on mindset and the impact of beliefs in Unscripted ; I think the self-authoring suite (still on the past one) is helping me shed more light on the BS and limiting beliefs that've accumulated over time.
 

Ika

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Thank you for sharing your feelings.

I can't help you with those specific problems, because either never had them or did not solve them yet.
But I can hopefully help you with my system to stop-beeing-stuck:

Work


Yes, it is that simple.
It sounds so cliche, but it really is true:
Work!

If you start working on a problem, there are only 4 possible outcomes:
1. You solve it.
2. You realise you don't care enough about the problem to solve it, so you stop working and stop worrying.
3. You get out of your head and realise you've made that problem up by constantly thinking about.
3. You can't solve it on your own so you have to get help by an expert.

Look at that, every time the problem is gone.



You're feeling stuck.
"Beeing stuck" just means that you are in a place you don't like right now, and that you will be there in the future too.
Because you can't move, or because you don't want to move.

And that means every movement to get out of that place is good!

Pick any direction and go. I really mean any direction. It does not matter, just commit to that one direction.
Yes, there might be better or easier directions. But if you really dislike the current place, every direction is better.
Movement beats stagnation.

Let's take the "I can't articulate my thoughts and ideas" - because I have the same problem:
The best solution might be to go to a speech disorder doctor and let him solve your problem.
You can talk to people - either try to voice your opinion more often, or try to joing some group to discuss topics so you have to articulate your thoughts.
What I did was start to write (more posts) - it gives me more time to organize my thoughts before putting them onto paper. Don't just write one big text wall - write the simplest and shortest posts possible.
I will start to go to Toastmasters soon - beeing on stage and having to articulate your thoughts will definetly shorten the learning curve.

A lot of ways to start - but whatever you pick, stay with it. If I will go there once, it won't help me.

If you are interested, check my process thread.
It started with me beeing stuck, and not so long ago I've wrote another long post about still beeing stuck in a lot of areas.
I'm happy to say I am not that stuck anymore - and every day I'm moving faster.

All because I've asked myself where I want to go, picked one direction I knew I could follow, commited to that one direction and started working.
And everyday I put in the hours, I move further and further.

I hope in your next post you will write about what actions you've took to start moving.
Good luck!
 

sparechange

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move somewhere else where like minded people are. what are your hobbys? for example, i like snowboarding and YOLO'd a one way ticket to vancouver and spent the winter snowboarding everyday with friends ive met, just yesterday I went to a birthday party a person I worked with and it has been one of the highlights of my life so far coming to a different city alone

your environment is a large factor
 

Strider

Contributor
Apr 10, 2016
31
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South Europe
First of all, thank you all for the awesomeness and replies.
Self Authoring - Plan a Better Life
- To discover and document personal insights you can only dig up from your own mind and experiences

Also order and read Unscripted if you haven't already!

I bought the Kindle version before the audio version was released, and I have to say, it's been good to have it in a written format to be able to go back and reference specific parts of the book easily. I frequently do this.

Ended up buying the kindle edition, on the about 1/3 through.
Also going to start writing more in a self prospecting manner so I can figure myself out a bit better.

Thank you for sharing your feelings.

I can't help you with those specific problems, because either never had them or did not solve them yet.
But I can hopefully help you with my system to stop-beeing-stuck:

Work


Yes, it is that simple.
It sounds so cliche, but it really is true:
Work!

If you start working on a problem, there are only 4 possible outcomes:
1. You solve it.
2. You realise you don't care enough about the problem to solve it, so you stop working and stop worrying.
3. You get out of your head and realise you've made that problem up by constantly thinking about.
3. You can't solve it on your own so you have to get help by an expert.

Look at that, every time the problem is gone.



You're feeling stuck.
"Beeing stuck" just means that you are in a place you don't like right now, and that you will be there in the future too.
Because you can't move, or because you don't want to move.

And that means every movement to get out of that place is good!

Pick any direction and go. I really mean any direction. It does not matter, just commit to that one direction.
Yes, there might be better or easier directions. But if you really dislike the current place, every direction is better.
Movement beats stagnation.

Let's take the "I can't articulate my thoughts and ideas" - because I have the same problem:
The best solution might be to go to a speech disorder doctor and let him solve your problem.
You can talk to people - either try to voice your opinion more often, or try to joing some group to discuss topics so you have to articulate your thoughts.
What I did was start to write (more posts) - it gives me more time to organize my thoughts before putting them onto paper. Don't just write one big text wall - write the simplest and shortest posts possible.
I will start to go to Toastmasters soon - beeing on stage and having to articulate your thoughts will definetly shorten the learning curve.

A lot of ways to start - but whatever you pick, stay with it. If I will go there once, it won't help me.

If you are interested, check my process thread.
It started with me beeing stuck, and not so long ago I've wrote another long post about still beeing stuck in a lot of areas.
I'm happy to say I am not that stuck anymore - and every day I'm moving faster.

All because I've asked myself where I want to go, picked one direction I knew I could follow, commited to that one direction and started working.
And everyday I put in the hours, I move further and further.

I hope in your next post you will write about what actions you've took to start moving.
Good luck!

Awesome answer man, really appreciate it. Indeed you are right, the focus must be on doing stuff, start by moving and then make sure that moving is indeed some kind of proper action.
Contacting the person to make sure I get the apartment I'm looking for. Just a day away from my last exam and technically changing college course. And will make sure I get a job for the rest of the summer so I can fund myself for the next year.

Also will have to check my ideas. In politics our group is moving and will fight for the ideals and integrity. Got a few project/business ideas, some of them extremely complex and hard. Will try to minimize to the initial most practical mvp, talk to my fellow friends that are interested and try launching the first part of the major "project" before the start of the next college year.

Also, investing my time in my programming skills and will start to build the website for an idea that suddenly stroke me today.

Some of my "problems" is that most of my ideas end up having a somewhat great social impact but less profit. I guess that's always been my focus. One of them if ends up going well will make profit but the goal and mission is not profit, the other is basically trying to end some corruption and lying that I see at a local level, but don't see how to monetize it in anyway besides adverts. It feels right, but not sure if it's more practical to try to create profit and then invest in these more "philanthropic" ideas.

move somewhere else where like minded people are. what are your hobbys? for example, i like snowboarding and YOLO'd a one way ticket to vancouver and spent the winter snowboarding everyday with friends ive met, just yesterday I went to a birthday party a person I worked with and it has been one of the highlights of my life so far coming to a different city alone

your environment is a large factor

Indeed. My two best friends (especially one of them) are actually the people that help me see the bright side again, whenever I even start talking with them that part of me just grows (even if it's nothing about business, just sharing laughs). I also recently met the friends of a friend (boyfriend and colleagues), older, ending their engineering masters and the conversations are awesome, almost at the level I get with my friends. I feel energized after seeing these guys and feel like conquering the world.

I'm intending to move to the city in the next college year and one of my goals is to improve my social circle. This year has been hell in part because I rented my soul to try to fit in (and try not to, in part trying to be cool).

Ask yourself everyday, "What can I do today to move forward?"

"How do I win today?"

Change your focus man. We all see the same things, but many of us here control our focus.

Nice perspective. Maybe planning in the morning is a good idea. Instead of the last night. I get the stuff I know I need to get done but still have the morning decisions made during breakfast.
 

MarekvBeek

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First of all, thank you all for the awesomeness and replies.




Ended up buying the kindle edition, on the about 1/3 through.
Also going to start writing more in a self prospecting manner so I can figure myself out a bit better.



Awesome answer man, really appreciate it. Indeed you are right, the focus must be on doing stuff, start by moving and then make sure that moving is indeed some kind of proper action.
Contacting the person to make sure I get the apartment I'm looking for. Just a day away from my last exam and technically changing college course. And will make sure I get a job for the rest of the summer so I can fund myself for the next year.

Also will have to check my ideas. In politics our group is moving and will fight for the ideals and integrity. Got a few project/business ideas, some of them extremely complex and hard. Will try to minimize to the initial most practical mvp, talk to my fellow friends that are interested and try launching the first part of the major "project" before the start of the next college year.

Also, investing my time in my programming skills and will start to build the website for an idea that suddenly stroke me today.

Some of my "problems" is that most of my ideas end up having a somewhat great social impact but less profit. I guess that's always been my focus. One of them if ends up going well will make profit but the goal and mission is not profit, the other is basically trying to end some corruption and lying that I see at a local level, but don't see how to monetize it in anyway besides adverts. It feels right, but not sure if it's more practical to try to create profit and then invest in these more "philanthropic" ideas.



Indeed. My two best friends (especially one of them) are actually the people that help me see the bright side again, whenever I even start talking with them that part of me just grows (even if it's nothing about business, just sharing laughs). I also recently met the friends of a friend (boyfriend and colleagues), older, ending their engineering masters and the conversations are awesome, almost at the level I get with my friends. I feel energized after seeing these guys and feel like conquering the world.

I'm intending to move to the city in the next college year and one of my goals is to improve my social circle. This year has been hell in part because I rented my soul to try to fit in (and try not to, in part trying to be cool).



Nice perspective. Maybe planning in the morning is a good idea. Instead of the last night. I get the stuff I know I need to get done but still have the morning decisions made during breakfast.

You're exactly on the right track. This is you that is making progress already.

My only advice is, stick to the forum (you are already for more than a year). Even when you don't want to follow the entrepreneurial road you will find valueable lessons here to make your world a better place.

Find the power that is within you. It is the only force you can fully trust on!
 

The-J

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A rut at 19 years old?

My first instinct is to think 'how can you be in a rut, you havent experience anything yet' but I felt largely the same at 19. I had no direction.

My response to you is to follow that plan you had: get a job and move out... but with an extra twist.

Start something on the side.

Start helping people. Friends, family, family friends... see what you can do for people. Then start doing it for strangers. Doesn't matter what it is. Why?

Because when you help people, other problems get revealed. If you solve one problem for someone, it's likely they'll tell you about other problems they have in hopes that you'll solve those as well. Maybe you'll find a problem common among several people or businesses. Maybe someone will PAY you to solve that problem. From there, you have the seeds of a business.

Get moving.
 

garyjsmith

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I saw that the kindle version is 10 bucks but there's also an audible version. Which one do you recommend?

It comes down to personal preference but the audiobook is great, especially because you can listen while doing chores, taking a walk, driving, etc

You have the right mindset, but the things you hate are on your mind just as much as the things you admire. Find a way to walk that back because your environment, both internal and external, needs to be cultivated. Evaluate your friends/contacts and the information you take in. Is it positive or negative? If you can sort it like that, you'll soon see what you need to shake from your life. "You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with" - Jim Rohn

In the past year, I've downed 60+ books, met with many millionaires and others who bring value to the world, searched for mentors and likeminded individuals to get to where I am in this moment. Here I am. "Where," you ask. Here, in the Fastlane Forum. I've listened to The Millionaire Fastlane (TMF ) five times, and every time I went through, I'd hear MJ invite me to the forum but I never did. Why? I don't know, but I wish I had. I spent time, wasted money, and followed ill advice. While those add to my story and experience, I'm here to tell you that you're in the right place. You have a greater concentration of doers and producers here than you may ever find in one place. This is essentially free access to a mastermind.

You're not an outsider here; you're one of us. The members here will hold you accountable. They'll answer your questions. They'll read your rants.

Invest in yourself. Read, learn, dig. Feel uncomfortable, like you do now, because that is the sure sign that you're at a decision point with the choice to either retreat to a comfort zone or grow stronger. Keep at it; you're on the right road.
 

Ika

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Hey @Strider how are things going?
Did you start to move, even if it is just a little bit?

Have you already learned something? Coming back to this thread and writing it down might help others that are in the same situation right now.


If you don't want to post it publicly, but still want to chat about it, feel free to shoot me a PM!
 

Strider

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Hey @Strider how are things going?

Did you start to move, even if it is just a little bit?



Have you already learned something? Coming back to this thread and writing it down might help others that are in the same situation right now.





If you don't want to post it publicly, but still want to chat about it, feel free to shoot me a PM!

Did come here for a while, sorry for the late reply.


I’ll separate my post into a few sections:
  • General unorganized ramble to get my mind going;
  • What I’ve been doing;
  • What I’ll do in the future;
  • What my worries are.
Initial Ramble:

I started moving, not as much as I should, tacking small steps and trying to figure out what to do with my life. Today was the lowest day I've had in two weeks and still managed to study Math, web dev, philosophy and languages for about 3hours total, so I think I should be somewhat proud about how much I've improved. I decided to take a "break" so I can try to make a decision about what my college career will be (BS: I failed today), the uncertainty is rising and been seeing a few news in tech / politics that make me anxious about the future, not in a "victim" way but more of "so much uncertainty, so many demons to fight, where should I focus, where can I contribute more?", I have to train myself to use this constant fear into excitement (I can do it, but it requires effort) and will to act.



Honestly I had to my posts since I didn't actually remember what I had ranted about and yeah, that's me, I know that I get into that spirit often yet I know I can either fall down into a living hell or get back, it's hard but it has to be done otherwise I’ll become a weak nihilistic guy that feels overpowered, I prefer feeling like an underdog and proud of it. Right now I’m truly afraid, I look into the future with fear and worries, beyond job prospects or whatever, really socially, politically. I want to fight, I see my faults and try to fix them, but then I look outside, I see so much blindness and lack of effort, so much apathy. It’s my job to save the world, not in a messyanical sense, but that’s what I feel, reality is reality and I gotta find a way for it to work I guess, but I understand that in these dark states nihilism attacks me.



What I’ve been doing:



So in the following time I basically went around not doing enough, reading, going to the beach, hanging out with friends and pretending to get better, finding in the way more stuff that I find wrong and feeling lost. Then I started going through various courses eventually got bored, studying for the sake of studying isn’t really my thing and also I spent my entire day doing it.



I can’t really remember much before the past two weeks to be honest. I know the most important stuff I did but not my thought process:



→ Got a room in the city, moving out in a month, still dependent on my parents but not asking for more money, I’m moving out. I’ll stay in the same college but will probably change my course. I’ll comment more on this in the future section.



→ Searched for a job, mixed reactions. I didn’t start working, the contracts were too long and the legal obligations made me get a step back. There was a door to door marketing job but I didn’t even go to the interview, looked into the company and it screamed scammy, not illegal but based on deceiving people looking for a job. I felt a bit of disgust towards them and spent some time trying to figure out a way to make them obsolete, got an idea but doesn’t seem that good, it’s resting in my notebook right now. In the end I didn’t get a job, I’m still not sure, maybe will get a call for a temporary one from an acquaintance, but not likely. I will talk more about this in the future section.



Then somewhat before the past two weeks I must have seen or read something, I started thinking about what I wanted, figured out a couple of skills that I should invest on, I tuned my guitar, found good resources for language learning, found a couple of courses on web dev that can be quite useful for my projects and finally started a Math book I had in my shelf for over a year. Finally, given the amount of trouble I see in the world I’ve decided to learn more about politics and philosophy and started to do some reading.



I started planning my days, the night before, created the habit of getting up early. I worked on some fixed stuff everyday and add others depending on my needs. Sometimes I go to the beach, like today, go somewhere with my parents and don’t do as much, but still get the minimum done.



I’ve got more organized and seeing the chaos decrease in my life. Everyday I organize my stuff, go walk my dog (gonna miss him a lot) and try my best to be the best I can.



Also started fixing my personal troubles, got back in touch with a very old friend that I’d grown distant from, got real with myself and I want her in my life forever, asked sorry for being an a$$ and will do my best to keep closer to her. Will try to do the same with the people I want in my life.



I figured out some of the events that got me to where I am, they might give some insight on how to solve them. It will be hard, childhood stuff, but that’s life. One step forward each time. I’m starting small. I feel that I’ve been limited and put inside a box until now, by others and by myself, I need to step out.


What I’m going to do:

So I’m going to college in the next month, deciding which course tonight or tomorrow.

My focus in the next 3/5 years will be growth and laying solid foundations for my future. In terms of personality, socially, my ability to make an impact and academic/professional career.


I’ll focus a lot on college, I think I need that structure. I’m thinking tutoring people on Math and Physics so I can get some extra cash. I’ll work on being more social, getting more around people and fighting my fears. I’m probably going to leave an entrepreneurship club for lack of time and interest, I’ll stay there if I don’t actually start doing something towards my own actual projects, because of it being good for the curriculum, but I want to actually do something, if I indeed leave I'll keep learning actual skills in order to take the things forward.

Besides my engineering degree I will keep educating myself on philosophy, learning to write better and get a voice, voice which I'll use in politics and every situation in which I can give an idea or two. I’ll learn languages since I love it and this way I can take something extra out of my passion, cinema, this way I'm getting something from my down time.

This, plus the experience of living on my own finally will ensure I’ll be growing. I want to face challenges and grow from them.

This isn’t a thing of doing everything suddenly. I’ve been able to work the last few weeks and most of these things are more about not wasting time than anything else.

Basically I need to act on all the areas that I need to improve at: self, social, education and projects.

Regarding "projects" in particular, already starting to try to create the webapp for a thing that has been haunting me and some friends, based on what I've been learning.
What my worries are:

→ Well I still have a zero sum game mindset, I saw an add for a startup needing a social media guy for equity, the idea was fine I guess an hard market, not with the best strategy by what I saw and presumed they were trying, I thought that with some improvements it could work. I didn’t go for it.

For weak reasons, first I wanted to create stuff already, not sure I can do both (I’ll have to keep growing and actually doing something). But now I look at his posts and wish it doesn’t work, I wish him bad and that I can win above him and show off. It’s stupid it’s bad.

→ Still have personal issues to work on. Need for validation from girls is still real, even though I generally don't care much and get bored with most, when it works. The habit of doing stuff I usually wouldn’t and act stupidly just because I’m bored. Natural distancing myself from others.

→ Haven’t really defined success. I have an ideal life in my mind but not sure if I can accomplish it. I wouldn’t mind working for others if the project was cool enough tbh. I’d prefer to create something myself and to have wealth obviously. My biggest fear, absolute fear is getting stuck, in a dead-eyed in a job I hate, doing nothing to the world, without seeing it, without making it better. Living in comfort and running away from fear, no balls to go after what I want in business, politics, girls, etc.. no balls.

But the fear is there and quite powerful. Sometimes I still don’t feel enough, it’s something I have to fight.

In the other hand, the world is a tough place and it makes me doubt whether my dreaming big is realistic. I’m not sure, I know I’m not really the type of guy to come up with a brilliant social app, since I usually just find it pointless, more like of having ideas about education, health, social problems.

--------------------------------

This was quite long, I might have missed something but now I have to go workout.

Thanks for your help guys, feel free to drop a comment, criticize and give advice.
 
Last edited:

KrzyszWawrzyniak

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Hey man.

If I had a feeling that I need to save the world I would look out and participate in some voluntary work - fundraising, working with young/old people, animals, whatever.
(Actually that's what I'm going to do in month or two, but not because of saving the world)

I feel that you didn't face any problems in your life and that's why you spend most of your time on thinking about unimportant crap and bullshit.
Voluntary work would be a good start for you - you will see REAL life problems, not those sitting in your head that have nothing to do with reality.

I'm serious man - thoughts like; "I'm not good enough" are signs of having too boring life and lack of ability to contrast what's important and what's not.


I wish you the best and take it to your heart - you really gotta do something, even today. Sooner means better. If you won't, then I'm afraid you'll feel bad for a loooong time.

Have a good time.
 

Ubermensch

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Get into sales.

Make money by channeling your ambition.

Stop searching for needs and sell for a company that has already found an effective means of exploiting an existing "need" or market niche.

You're 19. Not Steve Jobs (yet).

Learn.
 

jon.a

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Damn what happened to you? I'm glad that I un-ignored you. :)

Get into sales.

Make money by channeling your ambition.

Stop searching for needs and sell for a company that has already found an effective means of exploiting an existing "need" or market niche.

You're 19. Not Steve Jobs (yet).

Learn.
 

Strider

Contributor
Apr 10, 2016
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South Europe
Hey man.

If I had a feeling that I need to save the world I would look out and participate in some voluntary work - fundraising, working with young/old people, animals, whatever.
(Actually that's what I'm going to do in month or two, but not because of saving the world)

I feel that you didn't face any problems in your life and that's why you spend most of your time on thinking about unimportant crap and bullshit.
Voluntary work would be a good start for you - you will see REAL life problems, not those sitting in your head that have nothing to do with reality.

Yeah, I'm into volunteering when I find good opportunities and as I'm moving to a new city and on my one I'm looking to volunteer at least twice a month minimum. In the summer's I'm either going to work or attempt to go on 1/2 months volunteering in Africa if I don't need the money or don't have anything going on, I feel like that's something that would do good to slap myself in the face and actually do something.

I'm serious man - thoughts like; "I'm not good enough" are signs of having too boring life and lack of ability to contrast what's important and what's not.

I wish you the best and take it to your heart - you really gotta do something, even today. Sooner means better. If you won't, then I'm afraid you'll feel bad for a loooong time.

Have a good time.

Yeah a bit is that, but the recent working and studying as done me some good. All of the stuff, besides the guitar and languages, are aimed at a specific worthy goal so it actually gave some meaning and some energy, I can feel I'm doing something right just by energy and positivity. Maybe it's simply the fact of actually been making an effort but the fact that I have some goals feels quite important.

The "I'm not enough" almost disappeared when I started doing things for a reason and stopped lying to myself when I failed. Now it's more based on some insecurities that I've had with me for a lot of time, which is good and bad at the same time, still has to be fixed.

I haven't found a job which doesn't bound me legally for months, but I'm still looking. Unfortunately in my area volunteering is based more on scouts, so there isn't much I can do this month, but I'm already looking for opportunities in the city.

Thanks for dropping by man and for you words, deeply appreciate them!
 

Strider

Contributor
Apr 10, 2016
31
23
47
South Europe
Get into sales.

Make money by channeling your ambition.

Stop searching for needs and sell for a company that has already found an effective means of exploiting an existing "need" or market niche.

You're 19. Not Steve Jobs (yet).

Learn.

Actually that's something I'd love, what jobs would fit someone in my situation in sales? I looked into Telemarketing but got the problem of minimum time of contract being 6 months, I'm looking for more things like that but with a shorter legal bound. During college, if the workload isn't too insane I'm getting a part-time job, was interested in telemarketing in particular.
 

Esoteric Wealth

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There was a door to door marketing job but I didn’t even go to the interview, looked into the company and it screamed scammy, not illegal but based on deceiving people looking for a job. I felt a bit of disgust towards them and spent some time trying to figure out a way to make them obsolete, got an idea but doesn’t seem that good, it’s resting in my notebook right now. In the end I didn’t get a job, I’m still not sure, maybe will get a call for a temporary one from an acquaintance, but not likely. I will talk more about this in the future section.

LOL. This is the type of shit you just gotta jump into bro, getting uncomfortable is really what's gonna make you grow. If it doesn't work out, who cares, just quit. It will make you learn about the real world, it will build your common sense. You will discover problems, you'll see how shit really works out there.

I remember I took a job giving away "free cruises".. seemed a little sketchy to me, but I just did it. I was nervous as hell getting on the phone, but they just threw me on there, there's nothing you can do but just jump in. This made me grow, helped me find better jobs, got me comfortable talking on the phone, and to people out in public in general. It's also led to me discovering more needs.

Jumping into the discomfort is key.
 

Ubermensch

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Actually that's something I'd love, what jobs would fit someone in my situation in sales? I looked into Telemarketing but got the problem of minimum time of contract being 6 months, I'm looking for more things like that but with a shorter legal bound. During college, if the workload isn't too insane I'm getting a part-time job, was interested in telemarketing in particular.

Look for: 1) low-to-zero salaries + high/100% commission opportunities. 2_ Short sales cycles. 3) Fast paydays after the transaction closes.
 

Strider

Contributor
Apr 10, 2016
31
23
47
South Europe
Hey guys, back after a lot of time.
The idea went nowhere me and my friend were having trouble finding suppliers and we really didn't put that much effort into it, we went for a accelerator challenge, we had an idea for an organization that joining two colleges in a kind of startup incubator thing, they loved the pitch but the idea didn't go through,, maybe my friend will do it, but honestly I'm not really feeling it.

What I've found is that I keep racing after money, I sincerely have nothing that truly interests me and no path to go so I just go around trying to find the quick buck and that just burns me out. Too many "ideas" and nothing done.

In this semester I grew a lot, met some amazing people, grew as a person and socially. I'm a better person and a bit more mature, I'm currently finishing my first freelance job, for my father, for free probably but it was a good thing, forced me to actually do something (my skills were rusty so I reutilized a lot of the material from when I was learning, but the website looks nice). I did okay in college, I can do better without studying that much more, I got a B average and the only thing that separated me from A was lazyness and ego.

I've been looking into blockchain since it fits my view of the future, I invested a bit of money but I won't really focus on investing, my savings aren't that big and I don't understand that much about investing anyway.
What I like about it is that it fits my political views (and politics/philosophy is my main topic of interest, not that I know the details of politics but I'm almost always debating about freedom and human rights), I really believe in it as one good thing to change the world that's why it's interesting me so much, I want to protect it and make it work. Maybe this will push me back again into politics.. maybe that's the path, who knows.

To be honest, I'm sick of money as something I chase, it's making me toxic... I need to focus on giving value (easy to say hard to do). And see money as currency for what I actually value, freedom. That's it. Not as freedom itself, I can have it and enjoy stuff without money. That's another thing I'll force myself to do, expose myself more to the experiences that I want, not in a YOLO sense but keep getting out of my comfort zone while working on other stuff.

My plans are blurry in this area of my life, I know what I'm aiming at college (good grades with as least effort as I can, unless I find something I like, per example I'm doing some extraclasses on math and security because I'm curious about it), personally (what I'm improving in myself and betting on)and lifestyle (simplifying,minimizing the stuff I have because it feels like a weight on my back and force myself out of my comfort zone).

In "business" I really don't know. I'm working in a college group I'm in that's making a cool project to help the student community, I really like the idea, they have finished the development but I think I can give more in the area of marketing and strategy. I'm also helping with events, we are a small group so I really feel like I'm doing something that matters and I found that I actually have a bit of vision for "selling" the ideas and projects that others don't (in this little group). Maybe I should invest in that.

There were also some upcycling projects that I read about that sounded amazing, I really like that kind of stuff. And met a guy working on a drone for humanitarian aid and really that was a dream, I want stuff like that.The guy will probably even get paid to test it in Africa.

My last idea is more politics based and not that hard so I might do it after the website if I don't get anything better, its about awareness, no profit in sight, just about trying to bring awareness to one of the things that scare me the most (related to concentration camps). I'm thinking on going for a speaking contest to expose the thing and try to bring people to a particular topic and then use an app to keep that topic on their mind. It's something that I care about and if I don't have anything better, I want to do something.

Also got invited to start a charity movement on my college and thinking on giving an aid with webdesign.

I really want to invest in skills, I'm studying Computer Engineering so at least I should use it for something. I want tools so I can see problems and solve them. But I'm also interested on the people/psychology side of stuff because I seem to have some inclinations for it as well. I'm already working on myself and what I'm doing might help with this, I'll probably read something about behaviour since this truly fascinates me.

My issue is that I'm good at quite some stuff but I never had that one thing that fascinated me besides an idea of adventure, so I really don't know where my focus is. The only thing I have constant in my life is selfimprovemnt, wanting freedom and talking/debating about how to make the world better.

There are SO MANY THINGS, I don't know what to pick to focus on. What I'm sure is that I must continue doing something, I started this semester in many areas, do something and I will keep at it.

Stop doing stuff for comparing myself and to show others, that's something I wanna purge from my life.

Freedom, memories and impact is what I seek. Money is a good fuel not the most important thing and I will not wait for money to do stuff and live, I will work but still keep pushing myself into the unknown (I'm using a reward system and obligatory get out there days), but money is very important to maximize my impact and my ability to be who I want to be (whoever he is).

I want to work on stuff. Right now I'll finish this website. Finish my exams and keep learning about blockchain and cryptocurrencies (while bettering my other areas). I'm coming back to read this content and be surrounded with all this stuff again.

This is a very sleep deprived ramble, this has no real aim besides summing up my mind now, maybe I'm a bit more clear to myself. Hopefully. Let's see how this goes.
 
Last edited:

KrzyszWawrzyniak

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You have no idea what to do with your life?

How about dedicating yourself to become a scientist and finding a cure for death?

Bold idea, high entry barrier, scale, value, need...

###New Mission: Find a cure for death. ###

#Useful Hint 1: I'm absolutely serious - scientists are VERY close to finding cure for death and making humans literally immortal. The key for developing this might be stem cells - cells that are used in growing new, healthy organs in human body in order to replace damaged or old one's, e.g; tendons, cartilages, muscles... Hah! Some people with damaged nerves in their spinal cords got cured and could walk again thanks to stem cells therapy and growing new nerves inside their bodies.
Didn't work every time, but the fact that it worked in some cases is amazing. It's just a matter of time when we'll be able to culture new organs in our bodies; eyes, limbs, lungs, genitals... Whatever we'll need.


You asked for advice what to do with your life - there you go.
 

Envision

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idk what the heck thats about ^ i wouldnt try to solve death.

Take a step back and breathe dude your 19. Examine what you like to do and see what you could do in that niche. If you dont know what you like to do, start doing stuff.

Be patient.
 

KrzyszWawrzyniak

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Why not?

You'd do it but it's too hard?
Or just because it's already being done? :rofl:

Okay, how about manufacturing "healthy snacks" and putting sliced cucumbers into packs and selling as: "healthy substitute for gourmands" ?
 

MikeC

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I love something Gary Vee says, which is at 19, you could absolutely screw up the next 10 years of your life completely, and still be young as f*ck with plenty of potential.

Not saying you should do that but it can be a good way to take pressure off of yourself.

I recommend making some goals. Financial, with girls, etc. Figure out what you really want to accomplish and where you want to be. Then just relax and keep an eye out for BIG RISK opportunities you could take to get you there.

You need to leverage your youth. That's what I mean by big risk. If you see an opportunity to move across the country to get closer to your goals, you better f*cking do it. Otherwise, you are wasting your life.

I was in a somewhat similar spot to you at 18. Here is what I've spent the past 8 years doing:

*Spent an entire year in Austin working for an entrepreneur full time for free, in exchange for knowledge.
*Spent 4 months in the Kansas City Startup Village
*Moved in with @Davidla for six months so I could learn the hidden secrets to becoming irresistible to literally every girl on the planet (it worked)
*Lived in China for a year and a half working for one of the top 50 ecom companies in Shenzhen
*Gone to every single Fastlane Meetup since I joined this forum (back when they had a tough time putting 20 people in the same room)

That's really the tip of the iceberg. But the point is, I had the goal to become financially sufficient and eliminate all the worries and stress I had with girls.

I'm not a millionaire or a Casanova. But I can't think of anyone my same age whose life I would even come close to THINKING about switching with. And I'm just getting started.

I made a ton of mistakes and a lot of people can accomplish what I have in a shorter period of time. The one thing I have done right is taken every single opportunity that could possibly get me closer to my goals. I'm young and single, I can do it. You can too.
 

Jimbo70

Contributor
Mar 21, 2017
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You have no idea what to do with your life?

How about dedicating yourself to become a scientist and finding a cure for death?

Bold idea, high entry barrier, scale, value, need...

###New Mission: Find a cure for death. ###

#Useful Hint 1: I'm absolutely serious - scientists are VERY close to finding cure for death and making humans literally immortal. The key for developing this might be stem cells - cells that are used in growing new, healthy organs in human body in order to replace damaged or old one's, e.g; tendons, cartilages, muscles... Hah! Some people with damaged nerves in their spinal cords got cured and could walk again thanks to stem cells therapy and growing new nerves inside their bodies.
Didn't work every time, but the fact that it worked in some cases is amazing. It's just a matter of time when we'll be able to culture new organs in our bodies; eyes, limbs, lungs, genitals... Whatever we'll need.


You asked for advice what to do with your life - there you go.


What have you been smoking man? :D
 

Tommo

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Hello everyone.
Need to vent a bit and maybe get some advice from you older guys. So I'm 19 and in college.
I have been an A/A+ all my life without much effort, I thought I was smart and all. Came to my college (top in my country) to mathematics, I wasn't really that interested (more into the job prospects) and it was extremely hard. I "studied" in a sh*t way (when I actually did) and go C/C- average at best. I know I didn't work sh*t but then I started doubting that even if I did if I would be able to do good.
Then personal life, I've always felt like and outsider and weird, I'm social, but feel different, only great around two guys (fastlane mindsets and dreamers like me), I feel misplaced and that I've nothing to give, even when I talk politics (I'm involved in them) I just feel like I'm talking for no reason generally, there are some conversations where I go into philosophy and the values I hold as fundamental (freedom and integrity) but anything more concrete I just don't really know (even though I keep talking and sometimes convincing), I also think my way of speaking is sh*t, my ideas come out all weird and badly thought. I've always been into girls and meeting new artistic types but generally, even though I'm interested I just get bored, I go to "parties" and it's all just noise, I drink so I can take it. If I'm with friends it gets a bit better but generally once again I just feel out of place. I can't say I'm unlucky in terms of my gene pool but in my mind I'm just not one of them, I want to be more social, specially to meet people but I hate the environment, I only take it because of the possibility of meeting someone cool.

Generally, I don't feel enough, it's not actually the problem of not belonging is thinking I'm living a lie, that I'm not enough to do sh*t in this world. I always thought I was smart but I feel like maybe I'm just not enough. I'm trying to force myself to be more social and start hesitating less (with girls, ideas and life in general) but those loud environments just kill me. Then when I'm in this crappy mood, I just get scared by the world, I don't have the excitement, I just feel like I'm another dude, that I won't be able to really contribute sh*t and I'm basically stuck.

I have ideas, generally tech/web based but then I just... feel overpowered, feeling dried out, I just want to throw up.

I know this doesn't help a thing. This is a sh*t mindset. I'm going to get a job after my last shitty exam, so I can get a room and move out next year (force myself out of my comfort zone, that's usually where I'm more happy, when I'm active, the problem is when I mistake movement with progress and just walk into a fake narrative that I'm doing something when I'm not). But I've felt like this all my life, I'm generally when it those friends quite positive and ambitious but then, some days, something hits me, maybe a crowded place with shitty music where I need alcohol to fuel me and I can never shut my brain off and just feel... out of place. I just look at the world in a Nihilistic sense.

All I want in life is to live, is to learn and actually do something, to help people, to be in interesting stuff. To grow. But in these off days everything is dull and grey, everything is hopeless. I look at the world and I believe in the good of people generally, but then in these moods I just see greed and pursuit of materials for the sake of it. I see mindless drones dancing, I see a lack of empathy, I see political nonsense and cries for "social justice" in such pitty topics, I see inability to reason with people, I see people going to pure demagogy and forgetting stuff that happened a week ago just because someone says pretty things, and I see myself trying to figure out where I belong, feeling powerless against a wall of apathy.

The answer is probably give value, create stuff. But then again, I start coding, I start writing and a flood of "Why the f*ck bother.", "Your IQ isn't high enough." and more stupid sh*t drowns me.

Sorry for the rant/venting. Any tips?
Hello everyone.
Need to vent a bit and maybe get some advice from you older guys. So I'm 19 and in college.
I have been an A/A+ all my life without much effort, I thought I was smart and all. Came to my college (top in my country) to mathematics, I wasn't really that interested (more into the job prospects) and it was extremely hard. I "studied" in a sh*t way (when I actually did) and go C/C- average at best. I know I didn't work sh*t but then I started doubting that even if I did if I would be able to do good.
Then personal life, I've always felt like and outsider and weird, I'm social, but feel different, only great around two guys (fastlane mindsets and dreamers like me), I feel misplaced and that I've nothing to give, even when I talk politics (I'm involved in them) I just feel like I'm talking for no reason generally, there are some conversations where I go into philosophy and the values I hold as fundamental (freedom and integrity) but anything more concrete I just don't really know (even though I keep talking and sometimes convincing), I also think my way of speaking is sh*t, my ideas come out all weird and badly thought. I've always been into girls and meeting new artistic types but generally, even though I'm interested I just get bored, I go to "parties" and it's all just noise, I drink so I can take it. If I'm with friends it gets a bit better but generally once again I just feel out of place. I can't say I'm unlucky in terms of my gene pool but in my mind I'm just not one of them, I want to be more social, specially to meet people but I hate the environment, I only take it because of the possibility of meeting someone cool.

Generally, I don't feel enough, it's not actually the problem of not belonging is thinking I'm living a lie, that I'm not enough to do sh*t in this world. I always thought I was smart but I feel like maybe I'm just not enough. I'm trying to force myself to be more social and start hesitating less (with girls, ideas and life in general) but those loud environments just kill me. Then when I'm in this crappy mood, I just get scared by the world, I don't have the excitement, I just feel like I'm another dude, that I won't be able to really contribute sh*t and I'm basically stuck.

I have ideas, generally tech/web based but then I just... feel overpowered, feeling dried out, I just want to throw up.

I know this doesn't help a thing. This is a sh*t mindset. I'm going to get a job after my last shitty exam, so I can get a room and move out next year (force myself out of my comfort zone, that's usually where I'm more happy, when I'm active, the problem is when I mistake movement with progress and just walk into a fake narrative that I'm doing something when I'm not). But I've felt like this all my life, I'm generally when it those friends quite positive and ambitious but then, some days, something hits me, maybe a crowded place with shitty music where I need alcohol to fuel me and I can never shut my brain off and just feel... out of place. I just look at the world in a Nihilistic sense.

All I want in life is to live, is to learn and actually do something, to help people, to be in interesting stuff. To grow. But in these off days everything is dull and grey, everything is hopeless. I look at the world and I believe in the good of people generally, but then in these moods I just see greed and pursuit of materials for the sake of it. I see mindless drones dancing, I see a lack of empathy, I see political nonsense and cries for "social justice" in such pitty topics, I see inability to reason with people, I see people going to pure demagogy and forgetting stuff that happened a week ago just because someone says pretty things, and I see myself trying to figure out where I belong, feeling powerless against a wall of apathy.

The answer is probably give value, create stuff. But then again, I start coding, I start writing and a flood of "Why the f*ck bother.", "Your IQ isn't high enough." and more stupid sh*t drowns me.

Sorry for the rant/venting. Any tips?
nothing happens until someone moves.try reading robert ringer book action. just taking any action gives feedback and results. good luck
 

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