Feeling guilty about spending time on myself or with friends

[Vman384]

Hey guys I am in the process of starting my business. I guess the question I want to ask everyone is how much time did you guys spend going out with friends or just having some time to yourself when first starting out? I have really good time management skills and do a lot of stuff like getting work done while on the train and listening to audiobooks while at the gym, but how much time if any do I spend going for dinner with friends for example? For reference, I am going into my second year of uni and am starting a business in something related to my degree and a current job which helps with the learning aspect but every time I am not working on something productive I feel guilty

 

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[Luke23]

Hey guys I am in the process of starting my business. I guess the question I want to ask everyone is how much time did you guys spend going out with friends or just having some time to yourself when first starting out? I have really good time management skills and do a lot of stuff like getting work done while on the train and listening to audiobooks while at the gym, but how much time if any do I spend going for dinner with friends for example? For reference, I am going into my second year of uni and am starting a business in something related to my degree and a current job which helps with the learning aspect but every time I am not working on something productive I feel guilty

I personally feel guilty if I get nothing done in a day. My productivity past 7pm is also very low. So I usually reserve friday/saturday nights to go on a date / hang out with friends.

You dont HAVE to have "time to yourself." If working on your business every day and night is what you want to do, Id do that. Just try not to ignore your friends and family in the process.

 

[Johnny boy]

Your friends are your friends not because out of the billions of people, they are the most important, compatible, awesome people....they're just the ones who were in close proximity to you for whatever reason.

They are not different than any of the other people walking around.

You are not special either.

Look at your life in the 3rd person. Read your name in a list and see your face in a crowd and see yourself as how everyone else sees you, as just another person.

It makes everything else fall away. All of your attachment, fears, insecurities. You are a videogame character. Remove the solipsism.

What would you make your videogame character do in your situation? You'd probably start ruthlessly accomplishing objectives, increasing status, and maxing out his stats. Fitness 10/10, charisma 10/10, wealth 10/10, etc. Would you worry about how much time you spend with your broke average homies? No! You would focus on winning the game!

 

[Minuz]

Your friends are your friends not because out of the billions of people, they are the most important, compatible, awesome people....they're just the ones who were in close proximity to you for whatever reason.

They are not different than any of the other people walking around.

You are not special either.

Look at your life in the 3rd person. Read your name in a list and see your face in a crowd and see yourself as how everyone else sees you, as just another person.

It makes everything else fall away. All of your attachment, fears, insecurities. You are a videogame character. Remove the solipsism.

What would you make your videogame character do in your situation? You'd probably start ruthlessly accomplishing objectives, increasing status, and maxing out his stats. Fitness 10/10, charisma 10/10, wealth 10/10, etc. Would you worry about how much time you spend with your broke average homies? No! You would focus on winning the game!

Agree, took time to realise but its like this.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Hey guys I am in the process of starting my business. I guess the question I want to ask everyone is how much time did you guys spend going out with friends or just having some time to yourself when first starting out? I have really good time management skills and do a lot of stuff like getting work done while on the train and listening to audiobooks while at the gym, but how much time if any do I spend going for dinner with friends for example? For reference, I am going into my second year of uni and am starting a business in something related to my degree and a current job which helps with the learning aspect but every time I am not working on something productive I feel guilty

Wow. Studying a degree, working on a job, starting a business and want to have time for friends. I cannot do that. Maybe you can share your time management tips.

Having friends who work out together and have meals later save time. Because you have to find time to exercise anyway.

Have a large group outing where you meet multiple people at once saves time also.

Be selective on those you spend time 1-1. Unless you enjoy the conversation a lot and it helps you to relax.

Be open minded to spend time on new friends. As you progress in life not all your friends will progress in the same direction. Network with older adults in profession, trades or business could have unexpected gains for you.

Join a weekend exercise group to know more people (older adults), ask your current friends to join in. Maximize the scalability of your time. You actually achieve more in spending less time.

 

[Vman384]

Wow. Studying a degree, working on a job, starting a business and want to have time for friends. I cannot do that. Maybe you can share your time management tips.

Having friends who work out together and have meals later save time. Because you have to find time to exercise anyway.

Have a large group outing where you meet multiple people at once saves time also.

Be selective on those you spend time 1-1. Unless you enjoy the conversation a lot and it helps you to relax.

Be open minded to spend time on new friends. As you progress in life not all your friends will progress in the same direction. Network with older adults in profession, trades or business could have unexpected gains for you.

Join a weekend exercise group to know more people (older adults), ask your current friends to join in. Maximize the scalability of your time. You actually achieve more in spending less time.

thank you for all your tips, I have organized a way to fit it all in, I work out with a group of friends which motivates me to push myself further in the gym and ensures I go. I have one day a week in which I spend time with another group which gives me a bit of a break and then I study at uni with my friends as they are doing the same degree as me and we have been able to complete assignments quicker. If anyone else has any suggestions that would be highly appreciated as well

 

[Vman384]

Your friends are your friends not because out of the billions of people, they are the most important, compatible, awesome people....they're just the ones who were in close proximity to you for whatever reason.

They are not different than any of the other people walking around.

You are not special either.

Look at your life in the 3rd person. Read your name in a list and see your face in a crowd and see yourself as how everyone else sees you, as just another person.

It makes everything else fall away. All of your attachment, fears, insecurities. You are a videogame character. Remove the solipsism.

What would you make your videogame character do in your situation? You'd probably start ruthlessly accomplishing objectives, increasing status, and maxing out his stats. Fitness 10/10, charisma 10/10, wealth 10/10, etc. Would you worry about how much time you spend with your broke average homies? No! You would focus on winning the game!

I totally agree with that but the people I tend to hang out with are very motivated too and usually add to my network, but how would you go about networking while still focusing on those sort of things?

 

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[heavy_industry]

We should have a special section on the forum only for Johnny's life advice.

 

[piano]

We should have a special section on the forum only for Johnny's life advice.

WHERE???

 

[BizyDad]

We should have a special section on the forum only for Johnny's life advice.

WHERE???

Since that's the majority of what he posts, we already have that section. Enjoy.

Johnny boy

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

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[Johnny boy]

I totally agree with that but the people I tend to hang out with are very motivated too and usually add to my network, but how would you go about networking while still focusing on those sort of things?

I would just get back to work because the people I'm destined to meet don't live in the place I currently do, they don't hangout in the places I am, they don't meet the people I know. Everything I see and interact with these days is in transit. I am moving past it, I am not staying long here. I am not taking off my shoes to get comfortable. I will not be in the same house, drive the same car, or live in the same place, or know the same people, so I don't care how much time I spend with people I am not destined to be around very long.

I imagine where I want to be, and who I want to be, and how I want my life to be, and then I imagine that it is already mine, and then when I wake up I pretend that by some unfortunate fluke I have awoken in someone else's life and I'm in a movie about trying to get back to my actual life like it is an emergency. "Man, this guy's life is shit, his girl isn't even an eastern european supermodel. He doesn't have 4 supercars much less one. All of his high-value friends are gone, he only is buddies with some normal people. Ew wtf, his business only has 15 employees or so. I need to get back to my actual life asap!"

If they really do serve a purpose, just limit it to once a week in the evenings have a hangout event in the evenings that is social and productive. I go to the russian banya with my business partners. We talk, go in the 200 degree sauna, plunge in the cold tub, eat some shashlik and talk business, just the guys. It's a few hours and it's great for your body then we get back to work. Maybe we go bring the girls and have dinner at a restaurant sometimes but that's about it. Summertime we will do a little more like go shooting or hangout in the woods but for the most part we are busy running our businesses.