Fastlane Parenting (Tips, Tactics...)

[amp0193]

Just finished reading a parenting book from the guy in the course called “Parents 4 Success” and wow it’s great. Totally different content from the course, too and here are some of my takeaways —

Just ordered it, thank you.

Appreciate you for keeping this stuff top of my mind.

My big takeaway from your last notes dump a few weeks ago was zero-ing in on the "i can't" business.

I've turned all of those moments into a teaching moment. Giving her strategies. Re-framing her situation. Giving her other things she can say. Talking about the self-fulfilling prophecy our thoughts can have on our actions.

 

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[andyhaus44]

You’re welcome, amp. Love it, glad to hear that she is making progress. Matt Maddix says “cant” ought to be treated as a cuss word and I totally agree

 

[andyhaus44]

So I messaged the guy from the course just asking if he had any other recommended resources and he said “What’s your number my friend?” He called me this past Sunday and we had a great conversation. Looking forward to talking to him again.

The point is not to impress you but to press upon you to KeepEducatingYourself because you never know where one book or course can lead you to

 

[amp0193]

So I messaged the guy from the course just asking if he had any other recommended resources and he said “What’s your number my friend?” He called me this past Sunday and we had a great conversation. Looking forward to talking to him again.

The point is not to impress you but to press upon you to KeepEducatingYourself because you never know where one book or course can lead you to

I've been reading the book. It's great, but a little all over the place. Lots of good takeaways though.

 

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[G-Man]

Does anyone have any experience with Kumon or similar programs for pre-K age kids? There are so many to choose from that it's kind of confusing. Looking for basic reading and math. My son is starting to read words on his own a little, so I'd like to get him going.

I'm also interested to hear if anyone started their young children in language learning. Did it cause confusion for them? I feel like it would be an abject waste to raise my children in TX and not have them grow up English-Spanish bilingual. I could teach them, but would rather have them taught by a native speaker for obvious reasons.

 

[andyhaus44]

This is a GREAT book to read to your children everyday because each principle is 1 day and also 1 page long - short and sweet. My son is only 2 but I started reading him a page everyday

Amazon.com: Year to Success: When It Comes to Success, There Are No Shortcuts (Audible Audio Edition): Bo Bennett, Bo Bennett PhD, Archieboy Audiobook Production: Audible Books & Originals

Amazon.com: Year to Success: When It Comes to Success, There Are No Shortcuts (Audible Audio Edition): Bo Bennett, Bo Bennett PhD, Archieboy Audiobook Production: Audible Books & Originals

www.amazon.com

 

[Jcrisp]

I know that the forum can't be solely made up of 19yrd olds that aspire to boats n' hoes

Haha, fellow parent right here! So good to hear there's more of us!

This is something my husband and I discussed a LOT in the early years and ultimately decided to homeschool and we make sure the kids are involved with many things outside the home to expand their world view and experience.
I knew my oldest would be an entrepreneur when he was 8 when I found him setting up a table next to the elementary school (we lived across the street) right when school was getting out to sell cookies and pokemon cards. I didn't stop him, and pretty soon kids were lined up and he had a pile of coins. For weeks he continued, trying out different places and times and things to sell - ALL on his own. It was so funny but at the same time I was beaming with pride.
Now he is 13 and doing yard work and building projects (and still selling things to those poor kids stuck in school - haha)
He has just soaked up the mental side of things, growing up hearing us talk and seeing how we do things. I think not being in the public school and indoctrinated by the system helps. He knows he can do anything - doesn't doubt himself for a second, he's known since he was little (he talks about it like a fact) that he will be a multi millionaire and constantly discusses ideas with us.
So, in short, my advice is to just live it. Talk very openly and often with your kid about the fast lane life - just casually like it's the obvious normal way of life, and anything else they see later on will seem foreign, instead of the other way around. Encourage creativity (we always had an invention box to tinker with) and making mistakes (then learn from them), let them have adult conversations (even at 4 years old - don't even assume their too young to understand) with successful people, but don't force anything - let them lead and follow their interest.

 

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[VDP]

I didn't read the whole thread since I'm not a parent and atm it doesn't really apply but I tough this could be interesting.

Sadhguru said on impact theory (a great youtube show) that you shouldn't look at it as raising a child but as cultivating it. In which he means with raising you would apply your values to the child. Instead give him/her freedom, try to teach some important life lessons, like having a meaning etc. but let them figure it out, just be kinda of a guide through the journey of them growing up, every one has a talent let them find it. If you do this well they will probably flourish, if you don't they might seek the guidence somewhere else like streets/goths or whatever you can think of. Maybe I word it badly, but it really hit me at that moment. You can look on youtube for sadhguru, impact theory if it sparks your interest (it was just a short piece tho).

 

[andyhaus44]

I didn't read the whole thread since I'm not a parent and atm it doesn't really apply but I tough this could be interesting.

Sadhguru said on impact theory (a great youtube show) that you shouldn't look at it as raising a child but as cultivating it. In which he means with raising you would apply your values to the child. Instead give him/her freedom, try to teach some important life lessons, like having a meaning etc. but let them figure it out, just be kinda of a guide through the journey of them growing up, every one has a talent let them find it. If you do this well they will probably flourish, if you don't they might seek the guidence somewhere else like streets/goths or whatever you can think of. Maybe I word it badly, but it really hit me at that moment. You can look on youtube for sadhguru, impact theory if it sparks your interest (it was just a short piece tho).

Thank you for sharing this. I found it --

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw1I7fqmxmA&t=6s

The parenting part is from 13:30 - 18:14

 

[BizyDad]

The fastlaner oustources his work.


The sidewalker outsources his parenting.

Right between the eyes. Mhmm.

 

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[andyhaus44]

I've got to admit, I am a new fan of Dr. Shefali. This interview is gold.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJZxM7fFh8A&t=75s

 

[BizyDad]

I've got to admit, I am a new fan of Dr. Shefali. This interview is gold.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJZxM7fFh8A&t=75s

Under normal circumstances, the first 30 seconds would have lost me. Sounds like she has no objective standards of behavior for her children. It is all mood dependant.

I'm going to keep watching on your recommendation...

 

[andyhaus44]

Under normal circumstances, the first 30 seconds would have lost me. Sounds like she has no objective standards of behavior for her children. It is all mood dependant.

I'm going to keep watching on your recommendation...

I don't remember the last time I sat through an entire YouTube interview but I sat through this one. Here are my takeaways -

You’re creating a being that is now going to be your greatest teacher

In the morning, the first thing you should ask yourself is "Am I feeling whole today?" because whatever is missing within us, within 10 minutes of our child waking up, we're going to dump it on them

If you don't go back to who it is you are, you will raise your child to have a false belief

If a parent hasn't done the work of consciousness, then everyday they're walking volcanoes of anxiety

You live in anxiety and stress when you think you can control death. When you understand that death is not in your control, therefore you life fully and release when death comes, then you don’t live in anxiety and fear

When you make friends with death, then you live fully in the moment

If you want to stop suffering, stop clinging


3 truths:

1. All life attachments in form are an illusion. All of these attachments you’re holding onto are an illusion. It will never take you to who it is you are
2. The only thing of relevance is the one you have with yourself in the now
3. Life is never over. Life keeps transforming; just the this form is over

 

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[DeepScripted]

I've got a 2 year old daughter, with a son coming in April.

When it comes to time with your kid, quantity is greater than quality.

People/gurus/columnists who say "make time for 1 on 1 quality time with your kid once a week" are on the sidewalk.

How about make 4-8+ hours of time a day for your kid, by being in the fastlane, and having all the time in the world.

Whatever values and influence you wish to impart on your children, will surely have more impact if you are simply always there and available.


Not to mention, when you have free time, you can do cool shit for/with your kid.

In the past month:

• I built a tree house with a sandpit underneath
• I built a 12 foot rock wall in the backyard for the kid (complete with harness/belay system).
• We've been to the library multiple times.
• We're spending tomorrow at a museum in Dallas.
• Read books together for 1-2 hours a day, daily.
• Been to every playground in town multiple times.
• Will take her fishing for the first time this week.
• Sang the ABC song with her about 10,000 times.

Because I can take a trip/vacation whenever I want, she's going to be closer to her grandparents than I ever was to mine. We plan on making the trip to see my folks 4-5 times a year. Last summer, we spent 2 months in Sweden, and we plan to spend ever summer in a new far-off destination. International travel teaches you things that you could never learn in a geography/history book. People who say it's no fun to travel with kids, haven't done it right. Rent a kid-friendly airbnb with a playroom.

I hope to be sufficiently far enough along in the fastlane to where I can homeschool my kids completely, when they come to that age. As a former teacher, I've got a pretty negative view on our school systems, and I feel like I could just do it better myself.


I think the fastlane opens doors to a whole side of parenting that most people never get to experience. Fastlane Parenting is immersive.

Sidewalk Parenting is an afterthought that you do for 1 hour in the morning and 1-2 hours in the evening. And then some time on the weekend where your kids watch you do chores around the house.

With 2 boys (3 and 1.5 years) I'm always thinking about these issues, and your post has cleared up so many confusions in my mind. Appreciate your advice, and good luck with your business

 

[amp0193]

Son is almost 3 now.

I did make some sacrifices in time to start a new business. But the old business/lifestyle ultimately wasn't sustainable.

But I've made it a priority along the way to spend dedicated time with them.

I'm about to commit even harder through a very intense transition, and it will be difficult for me to be away as much as I will need to be, but I know that there's an end to it. Ebb and flow.


The worst thing you can do is build a 80 hour a week job for yourself, with no path to scale and freedom of time. Much better to just keep the job at that point.

 

[andyhaus44]

If any of you are looking for great resources during this situation, here are a couple -

https://s3-us-west-1.amazonaws.com/mindset-net-site/FileCenter/GEM_Lab_1_Read_Aloud.pdf

https://s3-us-west-1.amazonaws.com/mindset-net-site/FileCenter/GEM-Family-Newletters-(1).pdf

 

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[valuecreator]

I have been worldschooling my twin boys from the beginning.

Also, I've been using entrepreneurship as a homeschooling device since they were 6.

It is truly amazing what level kids can reach if you start them early...

Last year, they were giving kids workshops on stuff like Entrepreneurship, Confidence and Crystals and gems (man, kids like that stuff!) and they were charging $20 a head. Since the virus shuts that down they have been putting the same content online. The parents love it, which is kind of important because they're the ones paying. They all want their video-game-addicted kids to be able to do that.

I always joke with my boys that they should do a course about how to retire before 18 because the way they're going that's gonna be what they do. Why not?

 

[amp0193]

I always joke with my boys that they should do a course about how to retire before 18 because the way they're going that's gonna be they do. Why not?

Love it, how old are they now?

What did worldschooling look like for you guys?

 

[valuecreator]

Love it, how old are they now?

What did worldschooling look like for you guys?

they'll be 14 in August.

worldschooling was a bit of europe and north america and 3 years going around Australia House-sitting full time. We've been wanting to move to SE Asia for 18 mths but my numbers were saying that 2020-2023 the shit was going to hit, so I kinda waited to see the way of the wind. pretty glad I waited!

so now the plan is to lay low for 3 years, be beach bums and trade the disaster for profit.

 

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[amp0193]

they'll be 14 in August.

worldschooling was a bit of europe and north america and 3 years going around Australia House-sitting full time. We've been wanting to move to SE Asia for 18 mths but my numbers were saying that 2020-2023 the shit was going to hit, so I kinda waited to see the way of the wind. pretty glad I waited!

so now the plan is to lay low for 3 years, be beach bums and trade the disaster for profit.

This is great, and what I aspire to.

Had a remote business a few years ago, and would take long trips to europe with family.

Gave it up for a couple years to get a new business off the ground that was more hands on.

Goal is to start travelling again next year. Depending on virus.


Was very cool letting my daughter run around the playground with kids speaking 4 different languages.

 

[consignia]

If I ever have kids a I plan to teach them everything my parents didn't money-wise

 

[Johnny boy]

I don’t have kids.
Also, I’ve had 5 drinks.

so, my 2 cents is worth about 0.02 cents right now for this answer.

But when I have children, I’m not going to try to make them into what I wish that I was. People do that and it’s sad. I don’t want my kids to live out my own personal dreams.
I’m only going to do two things

1. Teach them the difference between right and wrong

2. give them opportunities and advice only when they ask for it.

I am always going to focus primarily on myself. I don’t expect other people to be like me and I never will.

Responsibility is motivating. I’m not surprised having a child makes you a more motivated entrepreneur.

The less you expect from others the happier you’ll be. I don’t expect 1% of others as I expect from myself which is why I have a pretty happy life. When I have children that won’t change.

 

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[amp0193]

My daughter tonight on learning she has her first loose tooth, and will soon be getting a visit from the tooth fairy:

“Hey... that’s a really easy way to make money!”


Easy money never lasts kiddo. You’ll learn soon enough.

 

[andyhaus44]

Listened to T Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive, and he said his kids started doing this at 3 1/2, 4 years old..

This 6 JARS Money Management System Can Work Miracles For Your Kids, Too - T. Harv Eker Blog

At my Millionaire Mind Intensive course, and in part of my #1 NY Times Best-Selling book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, I teach a very effective money management method — designed specifically to get you to financial freedom. It’s called the JARS Money Management System. Basically, using this...

www.harveker.com

 

[jpl]

I don’t have kids.
Also, I’ve had 5 drinks.

so, my 2 cents is worth about 0.02 cents right now for this answer.

But when I have children, I’m not going to try to make them into what I wish that I was. People do that and it’s sad. I don’t want my kids to live out my own personal dreams.
I’m only going to do two things

1. Teach them the difference between right and wrong

2. give them opportunities and advice only when they ask for it.

I am always going to focus primarily on myself. I don’t expect other people to be like me and I never will.

Responsibility is motivating. I’m not surprised having a child makes you a more motivated entrepreneur.

The less you expect from others the happier you’ll be. I don’t expect 1% of others as I expect from myself which is why I have a pretty happy life. When I have children that won’t change.

It sure is hard to find balance between wanting your kids to be able to grow a strong personality and trying to protect them from whatever suffering and negative experience you had to endure.

Listened to T Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive, and he said his kids started doing this at 3 1/2, 4 years old..

This 6 JARS Money Management System Can Work Miracles For Your Kids, Too - T. Harv Eker Blog

At my Millionaire Mind Intensive course, and in part of my #1 NY Times Best-Selling book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, I teach a very effective money management method — designed specifically to get you to financial freedom. It’s called the JARS Money Management System. Basically, using this...

www.harveker.com

I believe that while it is important to teach kids what is possible in life the earlier the better, it is also worth a lot to just let them be kids and enjoy life on their own terms.

 

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[andyhaus44]

Picked up The Daily Dad book by Ryan Holiday and each page is just 1 calendar day, so you begin on the page # of the date you start reading it. I really like it so far. There is also The Daily Dad podcast and each episode is short and to the point

 

[Roli]

I know that the forum can't be solely made up of 19yrd olds that aspire to boats n' hoes, so I'd like to solicit stories of how the folks on here that are parents raise their children to have a fastlane outlook on life.

A lot of folks use family responsibilities as an excuse to stay in the slowlane, but for me personally, I got about 10x more motivated to go fastlane when I found out Mrs G-man was preggo, and about 100x more motivated since I have to look at 8 week old Mini G-man every day when I leave for work.

Any and all personal experience is welcome. I'm singling out @Vigilante and @ChickenHawk a little too, since it was one of Vig's remarks on another thread that made me think more deeply about this.

For now the only parenting advice I have is: If your kid is fussy, slinging him around the room to Sam & Dave works wonders.

My little one is 12 now and the best advice I got and worked out is as follows.

1. They're not made of glass - It's very easy to behave as if they are and this seems fine at first, but can easily slide into overprotective parenting.

2. No screens until they're at least 18 months old - Some pretty good research (can't remember source) showed screen time for children under the age of 18 months can developmentally damage them permanently.

3. When he starts walking you will have a mini heart attack every 2 minutes. When he does fall, cheer and clap and tell him what an amazing stuntman he is. If he's truly hurt he'll cry. However if you immediately rush over, he'll cry straight away.

4. When you get to the "no" stage, instead of saying no, tell him stuff in the shops you don't want to buy him, is not for sale. - This one bit of advice will save you hours of tantrums.

I won't bother going on as you are just at the beginning, most of all ENJOY!!

Oh and 5. Be gentle with each other, learn to listen to your wife/girlfriend and learn to talk honestly with each other. Remember kids who grow up with both parents, do better on average than those who don't. Next time you're angry with your wife, imagine your child calling another man "daddy", that should calm you down.

Good luck and congratulations!

 

[Isaac Odongo]

I started a thread on similar grounds. I didn't know this was here. I have two posts there. They may help.

HEALTH - Six lessons children need to learn

I hope this will provide value to the forum. I hope this will help someone who's wondering something about this topic. OUTLINE 1. The benefits of self-control 2. How to be humble 3. How to be resilient 4. How to be responsible 5. The value of adult guidance 6. The need for moral values...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

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[jsc]

I'm grateful that this thread exists!

I definitely felt the wantrepreneur-ness under me as my first was born three years ago and now my second just 8 months ago has really put a fire under me to make actionable all the Fastlane principles.

I'm still learning a lot as a parent and Fastlaner, but glad to see others on the journey as well. It's tough to juggle all the time and energy between kids and businesses, but I'm making the time at night now that the little one is sleeping through the night. I think it'll pay off over the years as I validate businesses, make money, and grow them.