Fastlane Parenting (Tips, Tactics...)

[Vigilante]

I am writing to you somewhere in the middle of the ocean in-between Jamaica and Cosumel, Mexico. We're on one of the world's largest cruise ships, with a gold pass that gets us access to private amenities that I would guess are limited to maybe 5% of the passengers.

My son was in town when we left, as he arrived to do an internship for my company to finish his college degree. So, luck of timing allowed him to come along and experience the best of what a week in the Caribbean has to offer. The lessons weren't lost on him as regularly we would talk about how the company continued to generate income while we are at sea. The conversation drifted to other types of business income, including REI that I have almost zero experience in. However, it is the system thought process from the Millionaire Fast Lane that counts, not necessarily the specific business vehicle.

Those who know me know that I have a larger than normal age span of children. So, with our youngest we have the pleasure and pain of doing things differently than we did the first time around. The main goal for her is to bring her up grounded in reality as she will have a lot of experiences (like this trip) that the others would never have had.

I think a large component of success with our older children is bringing them up with a firm religious footing (what ever faith that may find your family in). They benefited from the discipline of religious thought, the routine, the knowledge that there are higher responsibilities than self, and having an anchor point for their morality. This certainly falls into the arena of "do as I say, not as I do" as I am far from a Christ-like example. The danger in teaching kids about spiritual things is at some point they'll realize the hypocrisy of it, but at the same time that knowledge will come at a time when they are wise enough to realize that we all fall short. It's the pursuit that guides the imperfect path.

Also, parents, give yourself a break. Kids dispositions play a HUGE role in your "success" as a parent. When I was younger I thought we were "super parents" and looked with disdain at kids who were less perfect than mine. Then, my youngest came along. She's the holy terror that this morning yelled a hearty greeting across the length of the entire gold key dining hall to her older brother, causing a smiling good morning from everyone within a 100 yard distance that was now aware of her presence. Shit happens. She's a kid. As a parent, give yourself a break. You're not going to get everything right.

Fastlane? The best thing that ever happened to my son was working retail at Auto Zone during his college years. I could have spared him that, but I wouldn't have done him any favors by doing so. He got to see the mechanics of a large corporation - how they work, what they do well, and what they fail miserably at. He got to be the boss of people 20 years older than him. Mostly, he got to spend a lot of time watching how people interact, and how life decisions culminate in your circumstances and outlook. And, he got paid by AutoZone to study life. They're a shitty, heartless employer and I liked that for him even more. A blast of reality right in the face.

If I could do it all over again for them, I would give them more uncompensated chores, more responsibility earlier, and I'd be more intentional about teaching. Unfortunately most people like me have kids when they are too young to really understand what is at stake. I'd be methodical about their education on life. I'd invest more time in them. I would worry less about teaching them "fast lane" as that becomes somewhat innate to someone who grows up around entrepreneurial pursuits. My kids have had the ability to do business podcasts, ship packages, and work cash registers at our company owned businesses. Simply having them participate is part of how they learn to fly.

And letting them fail. Hardest thing for a parent to do is to watch your kids fail, knowing you could intercede, and not intercede.

My oldest daughter bought her own plane tickets to come see us at Christmas time. She knew she didn't have to... but it is yet another sign that she's ready for the world on her terms. Our job there is nearly complete, just as we're at the beginning stages with my youngest. I am just trying to get my youngest to not poke the lady in front of us in the elevator. Baby steps.

Life is a collection of a correction of errors. Let your kids learn from you. Hopefully be a better example to them than I have been over the years to my kids. Measure your words carefully. Things I have said years ago (a single word, a single sentence) still resonate in the memories of people I have said it to. Like a fired bullet, once it's out there you can't get it back. Tame your tongue. Measure your words.

And love every single moment of it because it goes fleetingly faster than you can ever imagine it might. From pigtails to brides dresses... it happens in a blink of an eye.

Next step for us? Being the most kick a$$, candy buying, helicopter riding grandparents we could ever be. The third chapter of life is going to be all about investing time in the things that are important. Faith, family, fun, charity. That's it. Nothing else matters.

 

[JAJT]

I have a 4 and 6 year old girl and boy. Love them to death.

I try to inject "fastlane mindset" (or success attitudes) in everything they already love doing rather than trying to lecture them.

My son LOVES video games, chess, board and card games, sports, etc... any time he cheats I explain pretty clearly that he's not a winner if he cheats and there's no pride in it. I explain that every loss is a learning opportunity. When he gets upset at losing I tell him it's okay to be upset but it's not okay to be a sore loser. When he half-asses a game I explain very clearly that if he wants to play a competitive game he should play to win because that's the point of the game - it's perfectly okay to lose and having fun is important but the object of the game is to win.

My daughter loves dancing and singing and pretending and basically all the "girl stuff". I tell her she should be proud of everything she does, confident, to get out there and show others how she sings and to sing loudly, if she hides behind me in front of new people I bring her front and center and happily show her how there's nothing to be afraid of, and if she decides she can't do something before she tries I pretty much make her do it to show her how talented she is and how much she can still learn and get better.

I've start introducing a "game token" system so that they have to actually WORK for entertainment, even at this age. Clean their room and they get a 30 minute credit. Help someone or give up something they want to someone else they'll get another. Etc... trying to instill a strong sense of "working for your fun".

Making them clean up after themselves has been rough but shows that the world isn't going to clean up the messes they make. And that's it's wrong to assume so.

When they talk about work my wife and I explain that we work to make money to buy things. Everything costs money. Everything. If you buy x you can't buy y. If you want pizza today there's no buying toys tomorrow. We've given them their own money (we need a more structured merit-based allowance system though) and we've let them spend it all in one shot so they can see that when they want the next thing they have no more money because they already spent it. "But how do I get more?" Ahaha, got you. Work my child. Work. They literally cannot wait to start lemonade stands and mowing lawns and shoveling snow to make more money than their friends.

Anyway - we're not hard asses and likely give in more than we enforce this stuff (if my daughter looks at me just right I'm pretty sure she can get anything she wants out of me already, her teenage years are going to bankrupt me I'm sure of it) but we try whenever possible to make every opportunity a learning opportunity with the emphasis on successful habits and mindsets and the results of effort. Never a victim or "hand-out" mentality.

And nothing feels better when you watch them play, something happens, and they echo a lesson you've taught them in the past. "Hey, you cheated, if you cheated you didn't really win", "we've going on vacation because my mommy and daddy work a lot", "I want to play again and again and again so I can get better and stop losing". You're god damn right

 

[amp0193]

I've got a 2 year old daughter, with a son coming in April.

When it comes to time with your kid, quantity is greater than quality.

People/gurus/columnists who say "make time for 1 on 1 quality time with your kid once a week" are on the sidewalk.

How about make 4-8+ hours of time a day for your kid, by being in the fastlane, and having all the time in the world.

Whatever values and influence you wish to impart on your children, will surely have more impact if you are simply always there and available.


Not to mention, when you have free time, you can do cool shit for/with your kid.

In the past month:

• I built a tree house with a sandpit underneath
• I built a 12 foot rock wall in the backyard for the kid (complete with harness/belay system).
• We've been to the library multiple times.
• We're spending tomorrow at a museum in Dallas.
• Read books together for 1-2 hours a day, daily.
• Been to every playground in town multiple times.
• Will take her fishing for the first time this week.
• Sang the ABC song with her about 10,000 times.

Because I can take a trip/vacation whenever I want, she's going to be closer to her grandparents than I ever was to mine. We plan on making the trip to see my folks 4-5 times a year. Last summer, we spent 2 months in Sweden, and we plan to spend ever summer in a new far-off destination. International travel teaches you things that you could never learn in a geography/history book. People who say it's no fun to travel with kids, haven't done it right. Rent a kid-friendly airbnb with a playroom.

I hope to be sufficiently far enough along in the fastlane to where I can homeschool my kids completely, when they come to that age. As a former teacher, I've got a pretty negative view on our school systems, and I feel like I could just do it better myself.


I think the fastlane opens doors to a whole side of parenting that most people never get to experience. Fastlane Parenting is immersive.

Sidewalk Parenting is an afterthought that you do for 1 hour in the morning and 1-2 hours in the evening. And then some time on the weekend where your kids watch you do chores around the house.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

I have 2 daughters, 9 & 6.

I struggle with this, I won't lie.

On one hand they see and hear me talk about making money without trading time for it, being an entrepreneur, and so on.

But on the other hand they have teachers talking about "getting good jobs", a school schedule that is Mon-Fri (5 for 2) so they think that is the "norm", and my other family members that are very good at teaching a sidewalker mentality.

I often feel like my voice is drowned out by the other influences in their life.

My wife and I have a fairly strong marriage, and she supports me in my fastlane endevours, but she is 100% content to be in the slowlane herself (nothing wrong with that), so my kids have that influence too. (she has 2 degrees and works a high paid professional job)

I see it like this:

If they choose to be sidewalkers: I failed.

If they choose to be slowlaners: I succeeded. At the very least they'll know how to have passive income assets so that they can make money when not working.

If they choose to be fastlaners: I succeeded. But I won't push them into this if that is not where they want to be.

My biggest priority is to teach them that the sidewalk, slowlane, and fastlane are all options available to them and that they are responsible and accountable for the choices they make.

I won't have society tell them which road to take. That's for them to decide. But they WILL know that these roads exist.

 

[G-Man]

I know that the forum can't be solely made up of 19yrd olds that aspire to boats n' hoes, so I'd like to solicit stories of how the folks on here that are parents raise their children to have a fastlane outlook on life.

A lot of folks use family responsibilities as an excuse to stay in the slowlane, but for me personally, I got about 10x more motivated to go fastlane when I found out Mrs G-man was preggo, and about 100x more motivated since I have to look at 8 week old Mini G-man every day when I leave for work.

Any and all personal experience is welcome. I'm singling out @Vigilante and @ChickenHawk a little too, since it was one of Vig's remarks on another thread that made me think more deeply about this.

For now the only parenting advice I have is: If your kid is fussy, slinging him around the room to Sam & Dave works wonders.

 

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[danoodle]

Having a kid (now almost 17 months old) made me a lot more motivated to get my personal issues in order more so than my fastlane endeavors. I was able to get over extreme video game addiction, anger issues (still working on but vastly improved), start working out regularly and has been one of the most difficult/awesome/crazy/amazing experiences of my life. It has been very motivating to get my personal shit together so I don't pass on my issues to him. I want him to have so many opportunities and try and help him become the best version of himself he can be.

My only advice would be to become the best version of yourself you can be, and to have an open mind and let your kid follow their own path. All you can give is unconditional love, your child may not even want to become an entrepreneur and that is ok. All you can do is support them the best you can. Actions speak louder than words and leading by example is definitely the way to go.

 

[amp0193]

Fastlane parenting:

Taking your kid on an impromtu daddy/daughter camping trip on a Tuesday because the weather was *perfect*.


I didn't need to ask anyone's permission.

I didn't have to put the dates in a calendar weeks in advance.


I just woke up, saw the sun shining, and said "let's go camping".


Getting to pick the best campsite in the park (on top a cliff surrounded on 3 sides by lake), and having the whole state park to ourselves were a bonus.

Panorama view from our campsite at sunrise:

Throwing rocks in the lake, while other kids are getting ready for another fun-filled 10 hours of daycare:

We came back and I saw that my business shipped 400 orders while we were gone.

 

[amp0193]

The fastlaner oustources his work.


The sidewalker outsources his parenting.

 

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[ChickenHawk]

Congrats on the new addition to your family! About helping a child have a Fastlane mentality, alas, I'm still a few years away from knowing how well we've done in that department, so I don't think I'm quite qualified to offer insight just yet. Some days, I feel like an absolute failure as a parent (like when I saw the last report card...don't ask!), while other days, I'm convinced that we're doing a pretty good job.

So I'm going to be obnoxious and offer some other advice. If at all possible, keep your family together, even if times get tough. Just by giving him a loving, stable family, you'll be providing him with a huge advantage in every aspect of his life...but I bet you know that already.

You sound like a great dad, by the way! He sounds like a lucky kid!

 

[MidwestLandlord]

My 9 year old got bullied yesterday for being "the rich kid" at school.

So after a tickle fight to cheer her up, we talked about money. We talked about how money can make people emotional and that sometimes people without money will hate people with money. We talked about how the reverse is also true.

We talked about how money is merely a tool, and that learning how to use that tool is really important. She had a life threatening illness early 2016, and had multiple surgeries. I explained how having money allowed us to get her the best doctors in the country, and that if we didn't have money we would of STILL got her the best doc's, but it would of been much harder to afford.

We talked about how money allows me to care for my wife, kids, sick mother, and others. I asked her if there was any good SHE had done with money. She got excited and told me about buying food and such for our local "no kill" animal shelter with the money SHE earned. So then we talked about how money is not "good" nor "bad", but you can use it to do good things for people and animals.

Then I told her how having money is nothing to be ashamed of, how I am very grateful for what we have, but that how much money we have is no one else's business and she doesn't need to talk about it with anyone.

I hope I handled that right haha.

 

[Vigilante]

Fastlane parenting:

Taking your kid on an impromtu daddy/daughter camping trip on a Tuesday because the weather was *perfect*.


I didn't need to ask anyone's permission.

I didn't have to put the dates in a calendar weeks in advance.


I just woke up, saw the sun shining, and said "let's go camping".


Getting to pick the best campsite in the park (on top a cliff surrounded on 3 sides by lake), and having the whole state park to ourselves were a bonus.

Panorama view from our campsite at sunrise:

Throwing rocks in the lake, while other kids are getting ready for another fun-filled 10 hours of daycare:

We came back and I saw that my business shipped 400 orders while we were gone.

This.

If you are reading this thread, and don't have this...

read this post again.

Print it out.

Put it on your bathroom mirror.

And only take it down...

when you're camping on your Tuesday in your park.

 

[amp0193]

Typical morning in my house.


8:00 - Wake up, sunlight peeking behind the bedroom curtains.
8:05 - Drink coffee on the front porch in my pajamas
8:20 - Take a shower
8:30 - Wake up my daughter
8:35 - Make a nice breakfast for me and her: today was french toast and eggs and OJ
8:45 - Eat breakfast at the kitchen counter (or on the front porch) and read her a few books or chat.
9:15 - Get her dressed and do her hair
9:25 - Bicycle her to the daycare/pre-school (She goes there some days, she stays home with me some days. My wife teaches part time at the school on the days she does go.)
9:45 - Work-out
11:00 - Eat healthy lunch & read Fastlane Forum or chit-chat with my wife before she goes into work at 11:30.
11:25 - Make some tea
11:30 - Drink tea and start work for the day... Whether that be work on my business, or work on the treehouse in my backyard.


Sure beats my former life of kid being rushed around sleepy-eyed and crying, eating breakfast "on the go", dropping them off somewhere at 7:00 so that I could rush to work on my 25-30min commute to get there by 7:30am.

What if your morning routine could be a pleasant and relaxing way for your family to start the day? What if every morning strengthened, rather than strained, your relationship with your kids?

 

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[Yoda]

We [the wife and I] have both succeeded in parenting, and failed, so far.

Like a Fastlane business, there's no better learning than doing. That said, a few things come to mind which we're pretty well fixed in:

1. Independence. You think you can clear the creek in one jump? I'll sit here and watch. Win or fail, it's up to you. This is what I want most, for them to learn they CAN, but they might also FAIL. (We actually tell our children the word "can't" is not a word. *shrug*)
2. Try at least once. Sports. Food. Anything. If you aren't willing to try, we will help no further, we don't care what you miss.
3. No participation rewards. Your team tried hard and still got last? Let me just accidentally forget about your "trophy" ceremony and ice cream social. I think we can all agree on this one.
   
4. Choose your friends. We don't make our kids hug little punks they don't want to. I ASK them if they want to go to a birthday party or not. We let them let go of kids they don't care to play with, and I tell the parent we aren't interested in "play dates" flat out. But we also enforce, when you do choose a friend, you do whatever it is you need to do to be the best friend you can be. Period.
5. Respect. You be respectful of someone's stuff. You be respectful of someone's time. You use your manners. But you also demand respect from others.

Shits hard, man. I suck at it.

It's admitting you're clueless and trying to better yourself for your little hoard where you become a true parent, and not a lazy piece of trash breeding our future jail birds.

 

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[amp0193]

#fastlaneparenting

Taking your kid to the trampoline park at 11am on a thursday, having it all to yourself, and paying 1/8 the cost (literally) of what the sidewalkers are paying on Saturday.

 

[RHL]

Watching this thread with more interest now.

One thing I can't really get on board with is the idea that you need to be careful about "imposing your beliefs" on your kids. Guys and gals, that happens naturally in ways you can't even being to imagine, and evolution or God (or both) made it that way. You had those beliefs and you lived and had children, so, the universe posits, they must be good enough to share. So your child acts like a little sponge, and your best efforts to let them decide things for themselves will be utterly impotent against their powers of observation. They will see what you sneer at for a microsecond, what you never talk about, and what you fixate on. They will see and learn, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Everything that makes you distinctly human may be said to be the product of indoctrination. You use a bathroom rather than crapping in a cave because you were indoctrinated to do so. You write and can use math because of indoctrination. Since language and thinking are intimately connected, many of your higher brain functions may be said to actually be the product of indoctrination--of your brain being wired to desperately want you to be formed in your parent's image.

My feeling is that we ought to "sin boldly" in this regard. Since it's gonna happen, evaluate your biases as well as you can, and then teach your kids the best you know how. Yeah, I want my child to go Fastlane like me; it's not wrong to want my kid to follow in my footsteps--if I knew a better way, I would be on it myself.

I 100% agree with learning through seeing and doing rather than just lecturing. Although my dad was a genius with fixing cars, I am ashamed to say I didn't learn anything from him. I was too busy wasting my teen years on video games. But I did learn something, which I think was the real key to my success in this area, the gateway that allowed me to use YouTube and trial and error to teach me enough to be a professional mechanic, and eventually far exceed his skill in most areas:

I learned that it was possible.

That was enough.

I learned that it was possible to have a blown fuel pump on Friday night and, with a bunch of tools and a few choice swear words, have a running car again by Monday morning for $120 instead of the $900 the shop wanted. Consistently, I see this as the biggest barrier to entry for people who are not mechanically inclined: They look at something like changing shocks or breaks like performing orthopedic surgery, something no layperson ever should or could attempt. It's this limiting belief that stops them.

The Fastlane will go the same way. Just letting your kids see that it's possible to make $800 while you're asleep or $2,000 while you spend a day at the beach, that's one of the strongest red pills there is. Because that teaches them all they really need to know to be hungry and curious to chase after it:

That it's possible.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Fastlane parenting:

Taking your kid on an impromtu daddy/daughter camping trip on a Tuesday because the weather was *perfect*.

I first read this, and I was a bit jealous of you.

Then I realized it wasn't really jealousy, it was disappointment in myself.

Because I am more than capable of having this level of freedom as you do, but I don't.

Why???

I have no good excuse. It's all on me and the choices I have made.

Your post was a kick in the a$$ for me, thank you.

 

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[amp0193]

Your post was a kick in the a$$ for me, thank you.

my a$$ is still sore from the swift boot I received from that post.

I try to post on here sometimes in the style of @Vigilante. His visions of freedom, pictures of his lifestyle, are what got my a$$ moving in the first place.

There's plenty of young male 20-somethings here sharing their success. However, there's not many posters with kids showing what the fastlane family can look like.

The more we can keep in our heads what the destination is, the more we'll make choices that move us in that direction.


Now, to be fair, this post isn't my life everyday. I'm on the fastlane, but haven't arrived yet. I still gotta put in hours of work each week.


I just have the option of when that work takes place.

 

[JAJT]

My wife was just watching America's Got Talent with my 7 year old son.

A 9 year old came on stage and sang to everyone.
My son asked: "I want to do that, how do I get to do that?"
My wife tried to clarify: "Oh, you want to sing in front of people? Or did you mean you just want to be in the audience to see these cool acts?"
My son said "No. I want to be the one judging".

#soproud

 

[MidwestLandlord]

That sounds like a pretty healthy way to look at it. It wouldn't be so terrible to me if Mini G got a high paid professional job (as long as its not accounting. I don't want my son to have the spirit crushing experience of staring at spreadsheets for 10+hrs a day like I do).

My concern is he'll get fastlane from me, slowlane from mom and my parents, sidewalk from her family and school, although I think at this point we're leaning toward homeschooling. Have several years to go, though obviously.

I was home-schooled for a lot of my school years. Parents pulled me out of school after I got stabbed and went to the hospital in 3rd grade. It was sort of a rough school lol.

It's a quick recipe to make a socially retarded hermit if you're not careful...so make sure Mini G gets out of the house and has friends!

Haha on the accounting...my wife is an accountant and I am 4 classes away from an accounting degree myself. No way I'd ever be an accountant though...

 

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[JAJT]

Yeah, 6 is fun. My son is 6.

Yesterday he asked how people get to heaven from the hospital and why they can't come back and visit once they get there.

The fun ride begins.

Luckily my daughter is still 4 and the hardest thing I have to explain is why she can't marry mommy even though she loves her "sooooooo much".

 

[G-Man]

So I'm going to be obnoxious and offer some other advice. If at all possible, keep your family together, even if times get tough. Just by giving him a loving, stable family, you'll be providing him with a huge advantage in every aspect of his life...but I bet you know that already.

This is definitely true, so it's a good thing me and Mrs G-man don't believe in divorce. It was actually this topic on the other thread that spurred me to solicit people's experiences. I pointed out that I had an "unfair advantage" in life because I had both parents at home, and their relationship was respectful. @Vigilante mentioned his son was the fastest learning intern he'd ever had, and I pointed out that Vig Jr. has the "unfair advantage" of having seen Vig's worldview.

Anybody that has kids that became entrepreneurial at a young age, feel free to chime in.

He sounds like a lucky kid!

He is. He looks like his mother.

 

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[JAJT]

the knowledge that there are higher responsibilities than self, and having an anchor point for their morality.

This reminded me of something we do with our children in the "giving" and "selfless" nature of things.

My kids both LOVE giving away their toys and books and clothes and anything they no longer use to other kids who have less than them.

It's not unusual for my wife or I to be helping the kids clean their room and they'll come up to us with an item of theirs (even some of the nicer things) and say "Daddy/Mommy, I really want someone who doesn't have much to have this, can we donate it? I don't use it anymore. It will make them so so happy!". Brings a smile to my face every time.

Now, from a practical standpoint, clearing out the old to make way for the new is a necessity, but framing it around the idea of helping others instead of "throwing away" has really helped shape their attitude towards what they have and knowing what others do not. They know there are kids without nice toys, or books, or clothes and their first reaction these days isn't to hoard things or throw things away but rather to pass it along and help someone else out.

Whatever values and influence you wish to impart on your children, will surely have more impact if you are simply always there and available.

This is a major reason I don't necessarily regret quitting my job before I technically financially should have.

When I had a full time job I saw my kids on weekends. Kind of. Mon-Fri I woke them up to drop them off at daycare and by the time I got home after the commute it was time for dinner and bed. I'd say I'd have maybe half an hour of "real" time with them during the daily grind. The weekend would come and instead of playing we'd be dragging them all over town or ignoring them to focus on the other things we had to do - groceries, shopping, family visits, cleaning, laundry, etc... We sure had a few great hours on the weekends, don't get me wrong, but it never really felt like quality time.

Now that I'm working from home I'm the last thing they see getting on the bus for school and the first thing they see getting off when they get home. I'm a full time parent now instead of a weekend dad. Feels good.

 

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[amp0193]

Sounds like you aren't following the SCRIPT, eh? Ah, living Unscripted is wonderful isn't it?

I had the script, but threw it out during the read-through when the plot wasn't going anywhere.

The actors were shitty too.

 

[G-Man]

The lesson that quantity of time is just as important as quality of time really sunk in for me the other day.

We watched a friend's 8 year old because they had a babysitter crisis and both had to work. This kid is a nightmare. The worst part: He's not bad natured or dumb. He's smart as hell, and he really looks out for their 6 month old. But: He complains & lies constantly & won't do what you tell him to.

Example: My wife made pizza for him, and he refused to eat it because it had "broccoli" on it (actually it was pesto). Here's how it goes:

Him: That's disgusting!
Me: Look, you don't call food people give you disgusting. Even if you think it's disgusting, you just say "thank you" and eat it. Just eat the pizza.
Him: I'm not eating it. I'll eat when I get home.
Wife: Sweetie, you have to eat. Your dad won't be here for another few hours, you've been playing all morning and you haven't eaten.
Me: That's fine, you can eat when you get home (I say as I gulp down the pizza off his plate).

So, I discover through talking with him that he gets away with all of this with the babysitter. His parents don't allow that behavior, but that's not who he spends his time with. I mentioned all this to my mother (who is basically a lady Spock, and quit her career in the lab to raise 2 boys). Her response:

Mom: Of course he's like the babysitter that's who's raising him.
Me: Yeah but he's got his parents, blah blah blah
Mom: Honey, it's simple arithmetic. If he spends 8 hours a day with the babysitter and 4 hours at home with mom and dad, the babysitter is raising him. That's why I quit my job. I was even making more money than your dad. If you guys had spent all your time at school and with babysitters, they would have been your parents, and not me.

I'm still mentally processing that, and it's a lot of motivation for me to get out of the 9-5 rat race. Something to think about for everyone out there that has children they work for.

 

[G-Man]

Just be smart about it. (Don't fall into the usual "my kids deserve the best!" nonsense and spend money you haven't earned)

My kids do deserve the best. I just have a different idea of what the "best" is.

My kids deserve for me to be the best, most present father I can be.

My kids deserve to be raised by their wonderful mother, not strangers at daycare centers.

My kids deserve the best education available, which means I sacrifice my money and my wife sacrifices her time, rather than sending them to the Marxist re-education camps we call public schools

My kids deserve the best health I can give them. It means I spend money on quality food for them instead of buying more toys for myself.

I could go on and on. I have a dear friend that works 12 hour days and just spent 50k on a home entertainment system so his kids can have "the best". Don't be that guy.

 

[amp0193]

Love when this thread gets bumped in my notifications, I like adding to it.

Right now I'm in Europe with the family for a 2.5 month trip. My guys are back home running the warehouse. I work from 9pm-2am here, which is like afternoon U.S. time. Also do some work sporadically during nap times, or sometimes in the morning.

My 1 and 3 year olds are immersed in a different culture. I'm taking them a few days a week to an "open preschool" where parents and kids come together. We do songs in their language and they play with kids that don't speak any English.

In 2 weeks my daughter has gone from being apprehensive and scared at meeting kids that don't speak English, to embracing the challenge, and asking me about how to say things "in this place".

Not to mention the weather is 70-80 degrees every day.


My kids are learning freedom. We can leave and do cool things, that other people don't get to do, because I have a business, not a job.

 

[hughjasle]

Has anyone thought of homeschooling?

I have 3 kids, 7, 4, and 1. We homeschool. Always have and always will unless they request otherwise.

Key is being on the same page with your spouse. My wife is amazing and has learned a LOT about homeschooling and basically runs that entire side of the house while I run the finances. We picked a home in a great community full of kids our kids ages. They get plenty of socialization. We have also joined homeschool groups in town that we meet up with all the time for "field trips" get togethers, and sometimes even lessons on certain subjects.

There is a lot of good material out there for homeschooling all depending on what style you want. From very free range to structured syllabus.

We love it. Sure we sometimes think how fun it would be to be able to get rid of the kids sometimes and have the day to ourselves while the kids are away at school. I think that's the only negative we have. And even then it's fleeting because best time of the day at the parks/museums/etc. is when all the other kids are in school

 

[JAJT]

Right now still working on not screaming in public or barfing in daddy's face!

If screaming: Add Food
If barfing: You've Added Too Much

Seems simple enough

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Likewise with the "where do babies come from?" conversations. You just give them the facts,

I told my kids they came from Amazon. I told them to be grateful we had a prime account, so they shipped 2-day. haha.

Anyway, great comment @JScott

I figure it this way too, if *I* don't have these conversations with my kids, they'll learn about it first from somewhere else. Kids were already talking about sex at school in 2nd grade!

I'd rather we talk about this stuff first, so I have the chance to influence their moral character.

My wife runs screaming for the hills with these types of talks, so they always come to me for this type of stuff. Plus, I just bring it up if the situation warrants it anyway. The first "where do babies come from" talk with my oldest I brought up when my sister got pregnant for instance.

 

[G-Man]

My biggest priority is to teach them that the sidewalk, slowlane, and fastlane are all options available to them and that they are responsible and accountable for the choices they make.

That sounds like a pretty healthy way to look at it. It wouldn't be so terrible to me if Mini G got a high paid professional job (as long as its not accounting. I don't want my son to have the spirit crushing experience of staring at spreadsheets for 10+hrs a day like I do).

My concern is he'll get fastlane from me, slowlane from mom and my parents, sidewalk from her family and school, although I think at this point we're leaning toward homeschooling. Have several years to go, though obviously.