family matters: how do you get any work done

[GregK]

Hello Everyone,

I am chugging along with dabbling here and there trying to see if something is sticking so that i can one day leave the slow lane job behind. I think a few things are coming my way (slowly), at least i am taking actions, making progress, and feel like i am learning something.

my question now is the fellow members with wife and kids to hear how they are juggling their day-to-day activities and work loads. i trust it is all in the dedication that we put in it, but i would love to hear as to what has worked for some of you in order to best divide your time.

FYI - by no means is this a RANT, i am just wondering what others are going through with family things

I am the main income earner in my household, early 30's. the wife and i have two kids, one 3 years, the other 4 months. things are ok in the slowlane job but that could turn any day (although i dont expect that).

currently my days consist of something like this...
5:30-6am getting up
6:20 get 3year old up and going with breakfast
6:20-6:50 doing misc stuff to get kids ready and lunches packed, car loaded
7:30 kids dropped at daycare
7:50 arrive at slowlane job
4:45 leave slow lane job to pick up kids from daycare
5:30 get home, work on dinner, SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY
7:30 get kids ready for bed
8:15-10:30 work on misc stuff for the business
1:30am feed baby
4:00 feed baby

repeat



Thanks, looking forward to some input.

 

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[amp0193]

That has been more or less my schedule for the past year and a half, except I spend 5:30-6:30 packing orders and doing customer service, and some nights up to 12 or 1 skyping with China (although I don't need to do this much anymore). The baby is an 18 month old now, so at least I get a full nights sleep... most nights. I've got 2 conference periods at school that I work as well.


Here's the secret that @IceCreamKid shared with me 2 years ago: DAILY ACTION.

Every day, go one step closer to your goal. Pick one thing and work on it, stop dabbling in several things.

I started this business on maternity leave. After using all of my accumulated sick days, I extended my maternity leave for another 2 months, to help my wife and work on the business more and took a big pay cut for the next 8 months as a result.

My last day at work will be June 3rd.

 

[Andy Black]

My current routine (roughly - this isn't on a stopwatch!)

Our boys are now 3, 5, and 7. It's hectic, but we're not doing night feeds anymore.

I've been doing something similar since they were born.

At one point that involved being employed. At another point that involved being a contractor going onsite all day.

Even before they were born, I've not wasted time watching TV or playing computer games.

Exercise went out the window when the kids were younger and I had to commute. It's back in my schedule now.


### CURRENT SCHEDULE ###

# MON - THU

06:15 - Wake

06:15 - 08:00 - Mayhem getting kids ready and lunches made.

08:00 - Drop kids at childminder who will do the school runs and their dinners.

08:00 - 09:30 - Gym or run, then shower/breakfast. Lots of thinking going on here!

09:30 - 10:00 - Prioritising the day.

10:00 - 16:30 - Working on my business, managing contractors, doing client work.

16:30 - Down tools and get kids.

16:30 - 19:00 - Mayhem of homework, playing with kids, cooking dinner, supper for kids, putting them to bed.

19:00 - 20:00 - Spend time with my wife.

20:00 - 00:00 - Evening shift work. I often do calls with people or learn stuff.



# FRI

Get up later. Drop kids to school. Brunch with my wife somewhere nice. Chill before mayhem when kids get home.

21:00 - 00:00 - Evening shift again.


# SAT

Family time.



# SUN

Family time.

20:00 - 21:00 - Ironing uniforms and making lunches, all whilst listening to podcasts.

21:00 - 00:00 - Review the week. Plan for the next week.





As already mentioned, the trick is to keep moving, no matter how slowly. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

The other trick is to see all your disadvantages as advantages.

Have less time because you're working a 9-5? Think more and be extra productive.

Have less money? Hustle more.


HTH

 

[GregK]

Thanks @Andy Black! Brunch with the wifey is a great idea. Maybe I can reward myself with that by working harder the rest of the time. I can appreciate this, as well as your weekend schedule.

Thanks for the input!

 

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[gabeb1920]

Geez I thought I had it bad!

I'm living with my fiancée with no kids and we both work slow lane jobs to makes ends meet. Here's my current schedule:

5:00-5:45am - wake up, breakfast and get ready to leave
5:45-7:30am - commute to work on the train. I listen to podcasts while walking and read books on my iPad mini while on the train
7:30-4 - slow lane job. Usually spend a bit of time here on the forum and reading blogs, maybe around 2 hours total. Also get a 30 min light walk in at lunchtime.
4-5:30 - commute home on the train again with podcasts and books.
5:30-10 - kinda wasted time to be honest. Might be picking up my fiancée from work, housework, dinner, tv(I know I should cut this but the fiancée really enjoys it and wants me there with her. I try to do some light reading while doing this)
10-5 - sleep. Almost 8 hours.

And this schedule leaves me wrecked at the end of the day! I don't know how you guys do it! Granted I don't get any exercise in here to speak of, I also eat a lot of crap and am about 40kgs overweight. Actually maybe I just answered my own question :/
I just find it hard to change habits when I don't have the energy when I get home from work. Maybe I'm just being soft :/


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[wilddog]

I have a 3 and 1 year old. You want the brutally honest truth?
Your day job and family life are sucking your energy and willpower most of the day.
By the time the evening rolls around and the kids are asleep, you're too drained to do any meaningful work.
This is fact and supported by academic research.

The Solution?

Wake up earlier and get shit done.
The morning is when your energy and willpower levels are at their highest. It's when you'll be most effective.
I'm up at 4am, sometimes even earlier, working fastlane, working out, doing self-development, meditating, etc.

Kids are the most wondrous gift imaginable. But they don't have to be a death knell to your personal aspirations.
You just have to be more creative and determined.

 

[IGP]

Hello Everyone,

I am chugging along with dabbling here and there trying to see if something is sticking so that i can one day leave the slow lane job behind. I think a few things are coming my way (slowly), at least i am taking actions, making progress, and feel like i am learning something.

my question now is the fellow members with wife and kids to hear how they are juggling their day-to-day activities and work loads. i trust it is all in the dedication that we put in it, but i would love to hear as to what has worked for some of you in order to best divide your time.

FYI - by no means is this a RANT, i am just wondering what others are going through with family things

I am the main income earner in my household, early 30's. the wife and i have two kids, one 3 years, the other 4 months. things are ok in the slowlane job but that could turn any day (although i dont expect that).

currently my days consist of something like this...
5:30-6am getting up
6:20 get 3year old up and going with breakfast
6:20-6:50 doing misc stuff to get kids ready and lunches packed, car loaded
7:30 kids dropped at daycare
7:50 arrive at slowlane job
4:45 leave slow lane job to pick up kids from daycare
5:30 get home, work on dinner, SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY
7:30 get kids ready for bed
8:15-10:30 work on misc stuff for the business
1:30am feed baby
4:00 feed baby

repeat



Thanks, looking forward to some input.

Where is your wife during all of this?

You're the main bread winner and you are feeding the baby at 1:30AM and 4AM? You are making their breakfast and dropping the kids at school/day care, cooking dinner, etc.etc.?

Not trying to sound chauvinistic, but shouldn't she be doing that? She's your partner, but it looks like you are doing everything?

 

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[TedM]

Where is your wife during all of this?

My friend, never ask that question.

Daily action is the key. Every day, except for the Sabbath (and then at night).

An hour a day is more valuable than 3 hours every few days... it gives you time to think and refine....

just don't stop

(btw, I have 8 kids, but no night time feedings now )

 

[GregK]

Where is your wife during all of this?

You're the main bread winner and you are feeding the baby at 1:30AM and 4AM? You are making their breakfast and dropping the kids at school/day care, cooking dinner, etc.etc.?

Not trying to sound chauvinistic, but shouldn't she be doing that? She's your partner, but it looks like you are doing everything?

@IGP we certainly have joint involvement in all of this. Do you have any kids? Without going into TMI's here I can tell you it's easier if we both are involved (I.e. faster turnaround times). The wify works too BTW .

 

[IGP]

@IGP we certainly have joint involvement in all of this. Do you have any kids? Without going into TMI's here I can tell you it's easier if we both are involved (I.e. faster turnaround times). The wify works too BTW .

I do... I have 2 young kids. And of course it's a dual responsibility.

You didn't mention that the wife works before, so it makes much more sense now.

 

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[GregK]

My friend, never ask that question.

Daily action is the key. Every day, except for the Sabbath (and then at night).

An hour a day is more valuable than 3 hours every few days... it gives you time to think and refine....

just don't stop

(btw, I have 8 kids, but no night time feedings now )

Ted, way to go with those eight kids and still getting work done thank you for all the feedback

 

[OldFaithful]

You want the brutally honest truth?
Your day job and family life are sucking your energy and willpower most of the day.
By the time the evening rolls around and the kids are asleep, you're too drained to do any meaningful work.

This is the absolute truth, and my daily struggle. I'm in a similar situation to most that have posted and my solution is the same. A little bit each day. As long as I'm making a little progress every day, I'll get there!

My friend, never ask that question.

HAHAHA. Excellent Advice!!!

 

[bringitnow28329]

How about if you are younger and haven't already screwed yourself, don't have kids or get married (if ever), until you have your stuff together.

 

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[Jake]

How about if you are younger and haven't already screwed yourself, don't have kids or get married (if ever), until you have your stuff together.

How about you leave this thread

We make choices in life. Do some choices make life more difficult? Yes. Does that make them a bad choice? Not necessarily. OP seems to have his stuff together, he's just looking for guidance from the community to create a better process. That's what we do here. We help each other through the daily struggle.

 

[Jon L]

I'm going to echo the daily action thing. I have a wife who works full time. I take the kids to school and pick them up.

The thing with daily action is that they are EXPONENTIAL. They don't add up to much for quite a while, and then, they really start gathering steam...to the point that within a few months span, you can go from not all that much money coming in to enough where it makes sense to quit your day job.

While you're waking up for feedings with a baby, though, ... if you manage to brush your teeth on a daily basis, you're doing pretty well. I'd cut back your expectations for a bit. Once there are stretches of sleep for 5 hours at a time, then you can pick this entrepreneurial journey back up.

 

[The-J]

Your problem is the job.

But you gotta keep it, don't you? Oh well.

Get as much possible done during that 2 hour window. You'd be surprised at what can get done in 2 hours... especially if you have:

1. A to-do list
2. A virtual assistant (VA)
3. An action plan detailing everything you need to do for the next period of time

VAs are cheap and awesome. They'll do shit you don't have time for, like keyword research, blog posts (little bit more expensive), web design (more expensive still), and will run all of the grunt work that you really don't wanna do.

 

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[AustinS28]

Prefacing this with - I am not in the same boat as you guys. I am 25, I do have a girlfriend, but have much less responsibility relating to family...however I did see something up top that I do agree with....amp0193 mentioned "Daily Action."

It reminded me of a youtube clip I watched from a speech Darren Hardy made....to paraphrase he used an example of sales calls...He said something along the lines of --

If you have two guys working a sales job...Guy 1 does the requirements, and Guy 2 makes 3 extra sales calls that day...it doesn't really matter much. However, make 3 extra sales calls a day for a year and you have made 1095 extra sales calls leading to 1095 more potential sales. That’s big!

Doing a little bit extra on one day doesn't matter much in the big picture if it's only for one day. Do a little extra everyday and eventually all those little extras you did will add up into something big.

Point is..if you take a small amount of action each day, you'll build something. It's when you think that your small actions won't do much, that you wind up not doing anything at all - that's when you will fail.

Start small and work up, you'll find a way to make it work if you keep working.

 

[redsfaithful]

My solution is to make enough money and to have a wife who doesn't work and stays home with the kids.

That isn't a politically correct answer, I realize. But it's very close to a myth that you can have two kids and two parents working and a side business and a smooth family life.

It's my belief that it's not very fair to the kids either, but everyone has to do what they have to do and I definitely get that.

You're getting a lot of advice, so take mine or leave it, but mine would be to quit with the side business until the kids are older, unless you or the wife can quit your job.

Dirty secret in the world is that most high level execs, CEOs, successful entrepreneurs - they have someone at home managing things.

I think we give people a raw deal pretending otherwise, because then people come up short and feel like failures, not realizing the way it really works. There's no shame in just having a steady income until your kids are school aged. Things get a lot easier at that point.

 

[John Robert]

I had to cut my hours a LOT when i got married. Needless to say, i wish i had done it sooner.

The way i get work done with a family is i focus on higher margin activities. "What is the one thing i can do today that would make all the difference?". As opposed to doing busy work, or trying to do everything myself, i am cutting corners and figuring how to do things more efficiently. I started bringing in business partners to handle stuff for me, instead of trying to maintain complete control. I started bringing in investors nd advisors so i can focus on expansion faster and sooner. I created an org chart and identified the key tasks i should move to taking off my plate, and hired interns to do them.

None of what i mentioned cost any cash. But it did allow me to focus on higher margin activities like dealmaking, hiring, and product vision, which in turn has resulted in increased profits and less time/oversight.

 

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[Ralph Hua]

I'm newly married for 5 months now. So far so good. No kids yet.
I've heard stories from my buddies who have kids and I can see how they have shut off their ambition.
It may be still burning in them but they are simply too tired after work.

I work from home as a freelance copywriter and online marketer.

Wake time: 7am
wash up, dress and walk my wife to the train station.

Breakfast and some simple exercise: 8am˜9am

Read e-mails: 9am˜10am

As I don't work in an office, my meal time is flexible.
From 10am to 4pm, I do my market research, reading books, write (blog post, sales letters, social media networking), listening to podcast on science, business, marketing.
*Important*: I am a person that loses focus and energy quite easily. But I used a method (an old and simple one) to get things done.
1. Set a timer to 60mins.
2. Perform the task. (e.g. Writing my blog post)
3. If losing focus, do 10 push-ups.
4. Timer rings and I leave the desk to take a 10mins break. No smart phone, no TV, no screens. Normally I drink some water and stare out the window.

You have about 2 hours a day on your business which is great.

Keep doing what brings in the money.
Daily work pays off in the long run.

Godspeed,
Ralph.

 

[Evil_Jester]

*Important*: I am a person that loses focus and energy quite easily. But I used a method (an old and simple one) to get things done.
1. Set a timer to 60mins.
2. Perform the task. (e.g. Writing my blog post)
3. If losing focus, do 10 push-ups.
4. Timer rings and I leave the desk to take a 10mins break. No smart phone, no TV, no screens. Normally I drink some water and stare out the window.

Ralph.

Yes I do this too when I'm working more than two hours at a time. sometimes I do 30 minute timers and I just do a few pushups/squats and get back to work.

In regards to OP having a wife and kids, they will be a burden (I'm single with no kids fyi). So why can't you give your wife a copy of Fastlane? Have her learn and work with you. If she doesn't want to then she isn't supportive.

 

[Justin Gesso]

This is a terrific question, and I went through the exact same thing. I made it through to the other side and quit my slowlane job, so don't worry...it can be done.

People here are giving good responses, which are daily action and waking up early.

A few other recommendations...

1. The nightly feedings will eventually stop. You have to survive a baby, so don't expect too much from yourself right now.
2. I got insanely efficient at my slowlane job. In other words, don't take time out of your family, take it out of your slowlane job...but smartly. I got ruthless about doing only stuff that mattered and only stuff that produced results. This freed time for me to work on other things and it freed my mind to be creative. I could have easily worked 12 hours per day at my slowlane job and had more to do. But I whittled that way down into concentrated chunks. Even though I worked much less, I produced better results. This was an insanely valuable skill I use today in the fastlane. Using this extra time, I worked on my business plans and my risk mitigation...because face it, quitting a steady job while also supporting a wife and kid is no easy thing to do.
3. I did deep work as described in the book...Deep Work. This further maximized the use of my time.
4. I did everything in my power to work from home. Initially a couple days per week to prove it out, then ultimately full time. This allowed me to go even deeper on item #2. Plus, I lost the commute and a bunch of other baggage that comes with going into an office.

It took me about 1.5 years to spin enough up to actually pull the trigger and quit my 6 figure job. Now I'm on the other side, netting about double what I was making before, enjoying my work, and also enjoying more time with my family. My trajectory is on a strong trend upward. I never would have achieved any of this in the slowlane.

Figure out a way to push on. It's worth it.

 

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[Andy Black]

This is a terrific question, and I went through the exact same thing. I made it through to the other side and quit my slowlane job, so don't worry...it can be done.

People here are giving good responses, which are daily action and waking up early.

A few other recommendations...

1. The nightly feedings will eventually stop. You have to survive a baby, so don't expect too much from yourself right now.
2. I got insanely efficient at my slowlane job. In other words, don't take time out of your family, take it out of your slowlane job...but smartly. I got ruthless about doing only stuff that mattered and only stuff that produced results. This freed time for me to work on other things and it freed my mind to be creative. I could have easily worked 12 hours per day at my slowlane job and had more to do. But I whittled that way down into concentrated chunks. Even though I worked much less, I produced better results. This was an insanely valuable skill I use today in the fastlane. Using this extra time, I worked on my business plans and my risk mitigation...because face it, quitting a steady job while also supporting a wife and kid is no easy thing to do.
3. I did deep work as described in the book...Deep Work. This further maximized the use of my time.
4. I did everything in my power to work from home. Initially a couple days per week to prove it out, then ultimately full time. This allowed me to go even deeper on item #2. Plus, I lost the commute and a bunch of other baggage that comes with going into an office.

It took me about 1.5 years to spin enough up to actually pull the trigger and quit my 6 figure job. Now I'm on the other side, netting about double what I was making before, enjoying my work, and also enjoying more time with my family. My trajectory is on a strong trend upward. I never would have achieved any of this in the slowlane.

Figure out a way to push on. It's worth it.

^^^ This!

Those night feeds will end very soon (although it sure doesn't feel like it at the time).

The feeling of being hit by a train from lack of sleep will pass too (until you hit reset by having another baby ... lol).

So enjoy the now and savour these first months.



Your challenges as a parent just make you stronger.

I've taken j.o.b.s when I needed.

I've taken crappy contracts when I needed.

I'll flip burgers if I have to.

But I'll still be here, chipping away every night.

It's all part of the rich tapestry of life.



Saying that, working for yourself, working from home, and not having to commute, are THE BOMB when you're a family man.

When I went from having to turn up on client sites everyday to working remotely, a lot more changed than I realised would. I love it.

Hang in there, enjoy the now, and keep chipping away.

Each step in the right direction that frees up a bit more time makes a *massive* difference when your schedule is as full as a new parent's.

 

[GregK]

Yes I do this too when I'm working more than two hours at a time. sometimes I do 30 minute timers and I just do a few pushups/squats and get back to work.

In regards to OP having a wife and kids, they will be a burden (I'm single with no kids fyi). So why can't you give your wife a copy of Fastlane? Have her learn and work with you. If she doesn't want to then she isn't supportive.

@Evil_Jester, based on your comment I'm not surprised you are single. Just kidding!! Really just kitting!

Anyways, my wife's mindset isn't in the fast lane, but i think that's OK. She is giving me plenty of room to try my hand at this thing.

Someone else mentioned I should put the fastlane ambitions on hold - but that really isn't an option I am interested in.

Thanks to everyone else that is contributing here. I love the interaction, huge motivator!

Cheers!!!

 

[Evil_Jester]

@Evil_Jester, based on your comment I'm not surprised you are single. Just kidding!! Really just kitting!

Anyways, my wife's mindset isn't in the fast lane, but i think that's OK. She is giving me plenty of room to try my hand at this thing.

Someone else mentioned I should put the fastlane ambitions on hold - but that really isn't an option I am interested in.

Thanks to everyone else that is contributing here. I love the interaction, huge motivator!

Cheers!!!

I call myself single. Some girls call me boyfriend. They are like roaches! They never leave, but hopefully they don't reproduce

 

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[TedM]

The way i get work done with a family is i focus on higher margin activities. "What is the one thing i can do today that would make all the difference?".

I got insanely efficient at my slowlane job. In other words, don't take time out of your family, take it out of your slowlane job...but smartly. I got ruthless about doing only stuff that mattered and only stuff that produced results.

But I'll still be here, chipping away every night.

Detecting a common theme here...

 

[Newpollz]

As already mentioned, the trick is to keep moving, no matter how slowly. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Absolutely!

 

[MonicaG43]

Your problem is the job.

But you gotta keep it, don't you? Oh well.

Get as much possible done during that 2 hour window. You'd be surprised at what can get done in 2 hours... especially if you have:

1. A to-do list
2. A virtual assistant (VA)
3. An action plan detailing everything you need to do for the next period of time

VAs are cheap and awesome. They'll do shit you don't have time for, like keyword research, blog posts (little bit more expensive), web design (more expensive still), and will run all of the grunt work that you really don't wanna do.

Do you know where I can find a trustworthy VA?
Thanks!

 

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[Ika]

Do you know where I can find a trustworthy VA?
Thanks!

Such a great thread.
Such helpfull posts not only parents but also singles can use.
And you decided to comment on that aspect..

But since your not so great question helped me find this great thread, I will try to answer it:
Search Results on the Forum
You could google it.
https://cse.google.de/cse?cx=partne...#gsc.tab=0&gsc.q=Virtual Assistant&gsc.page=1
You can ask in this thread for the OP to find you someone for free.

But more importantly, you have to ask yourself if you are ready for a VA.
Do you have a working process in place that you can outsource?
Are you able to let go of doing certain task by your own?
Are you ready to delegate or will go end up micromanaging?
If not, a VA will take up more work than doing it on your own.