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Family has no trust in my journey. What should I tell them?

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KKOPPI

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I'm a musician. I've always been told my talent is incredible and that I could most surely become a famous singer. The fact that people told me this has disturbed my mind gravely for a long while.

In my early 20s I ended up in a crisis and the pressure of the things people used to tell me when I was a kid ("you're so talented", "you'll be world famous"). But in my 20s I realised the world is not so kind and you can certainly expect nothing from the world if you do nothing. I was constantly frustrated: I had so many songs but I couldn't even finish them because I lacked the belief that it could be significant enough. I uploaded some Youtube covers perhaps 2 times a year, and wondered why I wasn't getting famous. Stupid.

Only the last 6-7 months I've started working seriously, every day, with a very professional team that fully believes in my product (artist identity, songs + live act) Constantly seeking to establish the positive feedback loop. Releasing content on a regular basis and interacting with big names (I'm probably going to be the support act for a huge rock band that I cannot mention publicly now - I dm'ed their guitarist, vibed with my music and now we're e-mailing).

In these 6-7 months my audience size has doubled. If I continue like this with dedication, in years I could have a fanbase big enough to start selling merch, have sponsors, etc. etc. It has nothing to do with becoming world famous. An artist can create a fanbase big enough to create enough leverage. Once you've established enough credibility, you can expand to other related businesses, services, etc.

The only thing that's currently bugging me a lot is my family. They worry about me, being 25 and not yet having a common job, they tell me I should get married, they tell me I need to stop this music nonsense and look for 'safety'. What even is safety??

Should I get mad at them? Should I criticise them for pretending to know what safety is yet they themselves are not doing so much better? Or should I just say nothing with the thought "just wait and see"?
 

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kelvinfernandezm

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Safety is you having a stable well paying job and a nest to grow children in.

There's this idea that by age 30 you should already have an established career, a wife, and children in your own house. Than do that until retirement.
 

Mutant

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Should I get mad at them? Should I criticise them for pretending to know what safety is yet they themselves are not doing so much better? Or should I just say nothing with the thought "just wait and see"?
Should you get mad at them? Should you criticise them? So much of the answer to this is to do with how they are as people. Their worries about you are to do with how they are as people.
How they see the world, & what they know about how it operates.
How they operate as people & what would placate them.

If you're not here asking for reassurance for yourself (& it doesn't sound like you are) then great, you know your own mind, & you're old enough to need neither permission nor support from anyone else. Good. Crack on.

As for your family - have you tried getting mad at them before? Did it get them to see your point of view?!?

If you have family that might respond well to being talked through your reasoning, then by all means do so if it'll make them feel better. But if how they see the world is just too far different from you, then you wont be able to convince them that 2+2=4 when they know for a fact that answer's 3. So, if it matters to you to do so, just reassure with the things you can now - you're (hopefully) healthy, & you're (hopefully) supporting yourself right now. They can't argue with that if it's true, & those are potential worries.

Then, if you're not being required to say anything else, or you don't think it would help matters to do so, stfu & get to making some more things true so they can't argue with them either. Nothing reassures like actual success.



In short(er - I'm not great at brevity) - if what you're doing is so alien to them you might as well be promising to go into space without oxygen & fetch the moon on a stick, then you're probably not going to change their minds until you're back on earth, still alive, with a very unusual popsicle clenched in your grubby hands.
 

gryfny

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If you don't live with your parents, don't tell em much. But if you do still live with them I wouldn't get angry with them. If you're at this age still being taken care of by your parents I can understand they are a bit frustrated.
 

FBA-N-SEO

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It's funny -- I had a lot of friends who questioned my decision to be a personal trainer. They all thought I should of gone to college & been an accountant or what not. I made minimum wage for a few years but eventually got really good and started to make the big bucks.

My only advice is often there is a lot of money in adjacent industries to what you love. E.x. I love personal training but have made more money selling fitness equipment and running my own gym. It's still what I love but it's different. You might find that becoming a super high end online guitar teacher (And having other teachers work for you) allows you to juice your income while still doing what you love or creating YouTube videos on gutiar reviews or what not.
 

The-J

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Of course they're worried. They don't know anyone personally who has made it in music.

Have a little empathy for them. But at the same time, continue to blaze your path. You know what feedback you're looking for, and it seems that you're getting it.

If they really don't believe you, show them this: 1,000 True Fans

You don't need to have 10 million fans to make a living making music. You only need ~1000 really good ones.
 

WabiSabi

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Reminds me of an interview I saw with Billy Gibbons. He was asked if his parents supported his musician career path, he told them "hmm, after the fact".

Some people just don't get it. You're right to be frustrated but you probably can't convince them either.
 

Fantasy

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I'm a musician. I've always been told my talent is incredible and that I could most surely become a famous singer. The fact that people told me this has disturbed my mind gravely for a long while.

In my early 20s I ended up in a crisis and the pressure of the things people used to tell me when I was a kid ("you're so talented", "you'll be world famous"). But in my 20s I realised the world is not so kind and you can certainly expect nothing from the world if you do nothing. I was constantly frustrated: I had so many songs but I couldn't even finish them because I lacked the belief that it could be significant enough. I uploaded some Youtube covers perhaps 2 times a year, and wondered why I wasn't getting famous. Stupid.

Only the last 6-7 months I've started working seriously, every day, with a very professional team that fully believes in my product (artist identity, songs + live act) Constantly seeking to establish the positive feedback loop. Releasing content on a regular basis and interacting with big names (I'm probably going to be the support act for a huge rock band that I cannot mention publicly now - I dm'ed their guitarist, vibed with my music and now we're e-mailing).

In these 6-7 months my audience size has doubled. If I continue like this with dedication, in years I could have a fanbase big enough to start selling merch, have sponsors, etc. etc. It has nothing to do with becoming world famous. An artist can create a fanbase big enough to create enough leverage. Once you've established enough credibility, you can expand to other related businesses, services, etc.

The only thing that's currently bugging me a lot is my family. They worry about me, being 25 and not yet having a common job, they tell me I should get married, they tell me I need to stop this music nonsense and look for 'safety'. What even is safety??

Should I get mad at them? Should I criticise them for pretending to know what safety is yet they themselves are not doing so much better? Or should I just say nothing with the thought "just wait and see"?
You should prove your journey and yourself worth by showing them the results. Don't worry if they don't support you now, just keep moving in your journey. When you start getting paid off for your hard work, show them.
 

Kevin88660

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I'm a musician. I've always been told my talent is incredible and that I could most surely become a famous singer. The fact that people told me this has disturbed my mind gravely for a long while.

In my early 20s I ended up in a crisis and the pressure of the things people used to tell me when I was a kid ("you're so talented", "you'll be world famous"). But in my 20s I realised the world is not so kind and you can certainly expect nothing from the world if you do nothing. I was constantly frustrated: I had so many songs but I couldn't even finish them because I lacked the belief that it could be significant enough. I uploaded some Youtube covers perhaps 2 times a year, and wondered why I wasn't getting famous. Stupid.

Only the last 6-7 months I've started working seriously, every day, with a very professional team that fully believes in my product (artist identity, songs + live act) Constantly seeking to establish the positive feedback loop. Releasing content on a regular basis and interacting with big names (I'm probably going to be the support act for a huge rock band that I cannot mention publicly now - I dm'ed their guitarist, vibed with my music and now we're e-mailing).

In these 6-7 months my audience size has doubled. If I continue like this with dedication, in years I could have a fanbase big enough to start selling merch, have sponsors, etc. etc. It has nothing to do with becoming world famous. An artist can create a fanbase big enough to create enough leverage. Once you've established enough credibility, you can expand to other related businesses, services, etc.

The only thing that's currently bugging me a lot is my family. They worry about me, being 25 and not yet having a common job, they tell me I should get married, they tell me I need to stop this music nonsense and look for 'safety'. What even is safety??

Should I get mad at them? Should I criticise them for pretending to know what safety is yet they themselves are not doing so much better? Or should I just say nothing with the thought "just wait and see"?
Before you get famous to sell merchandise do you have a quicker monetization target?

Youtube Adv revenue?
 

Photool

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With compassion allow them to share their perspectives and realize its from their own conditioning, belief system, upbringing , parent etc. Respectfully listen and internally make your own decisions (Learn from the good they teach you and the bad you wish to never live) TELL THEM NOTHING - SHOW THEM .

If its a more toxic relationship and your in the same home / environment with them then your best approach would be to move out and maintain a good relationship with them but from a distance . This will allow you to think for yourself and minimize their conditioning on you.

As Ghandi said " Be the change you wish to see"
 

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KKOPPI

KKOPPI

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May 15, 2019
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If you're at this age still being taken care of by your parents I can understand they are a bit frustrated.
It seems to be a big problem for me and my peers: literally 90% of people I know of my age are still living at home.
 

Kevin88660

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I am not sure if you can make use of the TikTok platform. I think it is a place that has a lot of dividends for newcomer to curve up their own territories.

9 months later it might be a crowded space.
 

Johnny boy

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I'm a musician. I've always been told my talent is incredible and that I could most surely become a famous singer. The fact that people told me this has disturbed my mind gravely for a long while.

In my early 20s I ended up in a crisis and the pressure of the things people used to tell me when I was a kid ("you're so talented", "you'll be world famous"). But in my 20s I realised the world is not so kind and you can certainly expect nothing from the world if you do nothing. I was constantly frustrated: I had so many songs but I couldn't even finish them because I lacked the belief that it could be significant enough. I uploaded some Youtube covers perhaps 2 times a year, and wondered why I wasn't getting famous. Stupid.

Only the last 6-7 months I've started working seriously, every day, with a very professional team that fully believes in my product (artist identity, songs + live act) Constantly seeking to establish the positive feedback loop. Releasing content on a regular basis and interacting with big names (I'm probably going to be the support act for a huge rock band that I cannot mention publicly now - I dm'ed their guitarist, vibed with my music and now we're e-mailing).

In these 6-7 months my audience size has doubled. If I continue like this with dedication, in years I could have a fanbase big enough to start selling merch, have sponsors, etc. etc. It has nothing to do with becoming world famous. An artist can create a fanbase big enough to create enough leverage. Once you've established enough credibility, you can expand to other related businesses, services, etc.

The only thing that's currently bugging me a lot is my family. They worry about me, being 25 and not yet having a common job, they tell me I should get married, they tell me I need to stop this music nonsense and look for 'safety'. What even is safety??

Should I get mad at them? Should I criticise them for pretending to know what safety is yet they themselves are not doing so much better? Or should I just say nothing with the thought "just wait and see"?
Look them in the face and say “if that’s how you feel, write it down on this piece of paper and sign and date it” so you can make them either shut the f*ck up, or have a framed piece of paper making them look like an idiot in a few years. I did the same with my family when they doubted me.
 

SteveO

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It seems to be a big problem for me and my peers: literally 90% of people I know of my age are still living at home.
Different world today. I moved out of my house at 16 and never went back. Talk about freedom. It wasn't easy but I did not have to answer to my parents. Not the case if you live at home.
 

Lyinx

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Just my short speech (in my opinion) :

Wait till you get really fed up (in person only! not over the phone) and then calmly look them in the eye, and say, "Thank you for your concern". Then quit talking.
If/when they ever do it again, look them dead in the eyes, and say, with as much feeling as possible, "Thank you for your concern. At this time we feel confident in our abilities. If I ever feel like I need advice, can I come to you at that time?" and then shut up again.
The more you talk back and try to logic it into them, the harder/tougher they become.
 

Bearcorp

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This is just my opinion, but if you're 25, living at home and relying on your parents for a roof over your head, you're in no position to criticise them about anything.
 

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