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Everyone around me is enjoying my fall - so I joined here

Az_47

New Contributor
Sep 3, 2014
10
5
17
49
Hey guys,

I have done well last few years, graduated, found a job I enjoyed for few years, moved onto another job which was global finance company until my luck finished and I was made redundant.

Since than it has been nothing but bad luck. Due to my past successes (happiness) I am able to keep going and push myself despite rejections left right and centre.

The main issue I am having is, my friends, closest ones seem to be using this time to teach me where I have been going wrong.
I am happy to listen, as soon as I have something to say or I have a positive breakthrough..my friend will let me finish the sentence and completely change the subject as if he does not want to discuss it.

As a result I became very weary, and started looking around to find a lot of vultures which I called my friends. Many angry at me, but yet the answer can not be pinpointed about why they cannot support.

My only thought can be that after years of reaping the rewards of a good salary, holidays, cars, freedom, I never once questioned the moody and miserable mood of my best friend or two. I continued to be myself. Perhaps because it did not bother me, I asked but they would only tell me things that are amazing in their life however their face would say otherwise.

Now few months have passed and I feel extremely alone. If I meet my friends they don’t really ask much, if I discuss something , I never get a response. So I have withdrawn myself.

The last straw was when I contacted a friend that moved away, him and me were very close, now he has a growing family but very successful guy (well seems to me). I discussed my job situation, and his suggestion was to work in a entry level role accepting a salary which is 1/3 of my previous. - I was shocked!!
I clarified if he means temporary, but no he feels I am perfect for this particular role. I mean seriously if I flipped it and told him to do it he would find it so insulting but hey it’s okay to suggest it to me because it’s my passion.

Everyone around me is making me feel I need to do worse than I was before. NO ONE is making me aim higher. Than I realised.. I have no one who believes or even encourages me.

I used to think failures can’t motivate, but I have successful friends who have used my unemployment as a opportunity to make me feel low.

Seriously I would never have guts to suggest to someone to take a 66% pay cut for an entry level job! When I said it’s not good , it’s not going to be enough ...the response was: “yeah but you will enjoy it”

Seriously!? I never said I never enjoyed my previous jobs. These people can’t seriously be looking out for me can they? Oh god the truth is going to hurt so much about friends.





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Thomas Baptiste

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All headwinds man. They aren't in your shoes. Do what you have to do and don't let their opinions be a factor for your happiness. Let your own action find you the results you seek. You are responsible for your own happiness.
 

LivingToLearn32

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Ya you don't need people being toxic in your life. Well something isn't right. You're on the right path. Just remember, you're responsible for yourself and honestly your worst enemy is yourself over your enemies or other people. There's always hope and a better way. The books "The millionaire Fastlane" and "Unscripted" can give you guidance towards your next few steps in life. Specifically in entrepreneurship.
 

scott.legendre

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Remember that you just need to do you, whatever that means to you, to be happy. Your conversations with your "friends" is 5 minutes of their lives, so they are just going to make their comments and move on. Shrug it off as the nothingness that it is.

That being said, their "negativity" has brought you here, and that's a good thing. Open your mind and go BIG.

GOLD! - Think big and then think bigger than that.
 

NewManRising

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1. Your friends are envious. This is common in family and close friends. Even society at large is envious of others due to their perceived and flawed thinking of happiness. No one wants others to "get ahead". You need new friends.
2. Never take advice from people who are broke, uneducated, unsuccessful, have a perverted view on happiness or success, and who think like a sheep.
3. Find those the opposite of the traits above.
4. Learn to use your own thinking and intuition. Listening to your broke friends and family, and letting society mold who you are will lead you to unhappiness and being unsuccessful in life.
5. Stop telling people your innermost feelings and desires. Don't discuss your finances or plans. Don't talk about your businesses.
 

biophase

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I have done well last few years, graduated, found a job I enjoyed for few years, moved onto another job which was global finance company until my luck finished and I was made redundant.
What does this mean, your luck finished? What happened to your job?

The last straw was when I contacted a friend that moved away, him and me were very close, now he has a growing family but very successful guy (well seems to me). I discussed my job situation, and his suggestion was to work in a entry level role accepting a salary which is 1/3 of my previous. - I was shocked!!
I clarified if he means temporary, but no he feels I am perfect for this particular role. I mean seriously if I flipped it and told him to do it he would find it so insulting but hey it’s okay to suggest it to me because it’s my passion.
Step back and ask yourself why he would say this. Have you been looking for a job for a while? Have you turned down jobs because you thought they were beneath you?

What is your passion that would make him say that?

Everyone around me is making me feel I need to do worse than I was before. NO ONE is making me aim higher. Than I realised.. I have no one who believes or even encourages me.
In my experience, this only happens to friends who talk too much and show no action. I'm not going to encourage someone for the 100th time and be excited about their new venture if they never do what they say. It's just alot of trash talking.

Seriously I would never have guts to suggest to someone to take a 66% pay cut for an entry level job! When I said it’s not good , it’s not going to be enough ...the response was: “yeah but you will enjoy it”

Seriously!? I never said I never enjoyed my previous jobs. These people can’t seriously be looking out for me can they? Oh god the truth is going to hurt so much about friends.
Are you paying your bills now? Are you paying rent? I would tell someone this in a second if their car was about to get repo'd or they were about to be homeless.
 
OP
OP
A

Az_47

New Contributor
Sep 3, 2014
10
5
17
49
What does this mean, your luck finished? What happened to your job?

Company moved, 385 people lost jobs. People with families were prioritised - that’s life I have no complaints.

Step back and ask yourself why he would say this. Have you been looking for a job for a while? Have you turned down jobs because you thought they were beneath you?

Just to let you know, I am working minimum wage, someone who went from 35k to 8k. I’m not complaining . Life is great. I know I will get back upto my normal pay.

What is your passion that would make him say that?

Cars. Just because I like cars According to him I should leave the finance background and sell cars at a dealership that offer basic 13k.


In my experience, this only happens to friends who talk too much and show no action. I'm not going to encourage someone for the 100th time and be excited about their new venture if they never do what they say. It's just alot of trash talking.

I feel this about them. My track record is quite good. Which is why people are enjoying me finally fall.



Are you paying your bills now? Are you paying rent? I would tell someone this in a second if their car was about to get repo'd or they were about to be homeless.
Of course I’m paying bills, my lifestyle is the same. I just talking about emotional support.




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OP
A

Az_47

New Contributor
Sep 3, 2014
10
5
17
49
To give you an example. After losing work, I managed to create £5,500 (2.5 months) from £80 start up using eBay. I went on further to create £1300 setting up a company which will mean I don’t have to use eBay.

I have had 1000000 issues and barriers. Sometimes computers drive me mad, I like getting out for some air, surprise surprise I meet a close friend...share what has happened. Only to find negativity.

When I go in, I forget about negativity, it doesn’t bother me, however there are days when everything can be going wrong and you just need that someone to listen or say it will be fine. Because Sometimes I just need a bit of sleep and I wake up ready to rule the world.

I hope I’m making some sort of sense here. Please feel free to tel me if I’m wrong etc.

In other words I’m self motivated. But I feel against the world, that’s when I think surely it’s me and not others


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Xeon

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Sep 3, 2017
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Hey guys,

I have done well last few years, graduated, found a job I enjoyed for few years, moved onto another job which was global finance company until my luck finished and I was made redundant.

Since than it has been nothing but bad luck. Due to my past successes (happiness) I am able to keep going and push myself despite rejections left right and centre.

The main issue I am having is, my friends, closest ones seem to be using this time to teach me where I have been going wrong.
I am happy to listen, as soon as I have something to say or I have a positive breakthrough..my friend will let me finish the sentence and completely change the subject as if he does not want to discuss it.

As a result I became very weary, and started looking around to find a lot of vultures which I called my friends. Many angry at me, but yet the answer can not be pinpointed about why they cannot support.

My only thought can be that after years of reaping the rewards of a good salary, holidays, cars, freedom, I never once questioned the moody and miserable mood of my best friend or two. I continued to be myself. Perhaps because it did not bother me, I asked but they would only tell me things that are amazing in their life however their face would say otherwise.

Now few months have passed and I feel extremely alone. If I meet my friends they don’t really ask much, if I discuss something , I never get a response. So I have withdrawn myself.

The last straw was when I contacted a friend that moved away, him and me were very close, now he has a growing family but very successful guy (well seems to me). I discussed my job situation, and his suggestion was to work in a entry level role accepting a salary which is 1/3 of my previous. - I was shocked!!
I clarified if he means temporary, but no he feels I am perfect for this particular role. I mean seriously if I flipped it and told him to do it he would find it so insulting but hey it’s okay to suggest it to me because it’s my passion.

Everyone around me is making me feel I need to do worse than I was before. NO ONE is making me aim higher. Than I realised.. I have no one who believes or even encourages me.

I used to think failures can’t motivate, but I have successful friends who have used my unemployment as a opportunity to make me feel low.

Seriously I would never have guts to suggest to someone to take a 66% pay cut for an entry level job! When I said it’s not good , it’s not going to be enough ...the response was: “yeah but you will enjoy it”

Seriously!? I never said I never enjoyed my previous jobs. These people can’t seriously be looking out for me can they? Oh god the truth is going to hurt so much about friends.
Sounds like a F*ck-This-Event in the making! Maybe it is! I can relate to most of these.

Some things about friends, and humans in general, is that:

1) Humans are ever-changing. Interests and beliefs change. This causes the "phenomenon" of friends "coming and going" in your life.

2) People who make you feel low when you're down are not "friends". Just acquaintances that you happened to get along with due to a temporary period of shared interests/passions/environmental issues.
For most people, the number of TRUE, REAL friends can be counted with less than 1 hand (a few fingers, to be specific).

3) I hope you feel down and out. I hope when you sleep at night, you'll dream of those "friends" scorning and laughing at your own perceived failure, while they take their wives / girlfriends to fancy restaurants in their Aston Martins and Porsches.
I hope you'll have mental images during the day of these "friends" asking you to clean tables and take orders at fast food chains.
I hope all these will then make you mad and drive you to a road of no return, make you work harder like a frenzied man while applying Fastlane principles to your business, so that you can make more and more $$$ than them one day, and throw cash at their faces, while you drive off with their wives and girlfriends in your neon orange Lambo.
The Lambo can only take 1 passenger, so you might have to get a Rolls-Royce to ferry the rest around!
 

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