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Anything related to matters of the mind

GivingItMyAll

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I know the decision is my own and I’d like to hear your input.

I’ve sacrificed a lot these last 6 months. I saved a little cash, moved from NJ to GA for both business and personal reasons, and am currently learning web development to familiarize myself with CENTS (even though freelancing disobeys a few CENTS principles, this’ll be a better base than twiddling my thumbs while waiting for inspiration to strike)

To be frank, the desert of desertion is whooping my booty. Web development has taken up most of my time and happiness - wake at 5, work until 3, then take a web dev course until Starbucks closes at 8. I feel tired all the time and guilty about doing things like exercise or taking a break because I know it’ll take time away from a goal I’ve sacrificed everything for.

For example, my roommate threw a kickback (that’s what people from the south call hanging out) yesterday with our coworkers. A supposedly reasonable side of me said to use that time to study, but its competition was too strong. The side of me thats hasn't had any real fun for the last 2 months, been on NoFap, is lonely and wanting of admiration and to experience life while I’m still young couldn’t resist a chance to flirt and shoot my shot.

If your curious of the outcome — I failed tremendously.

I didn’t even know it was possible to suck this hard with women.

But that’s the thing. Experiencing something besides just work, even if that thing is failure with women gave me so happiness. So much motivation to improve my game, to have fun, to learn how to dance, anything besides studying web dev and working.

Im left torn by living life and enjoying my youth or pursing freedom and generational wealth for my family. I feel guilty even having to decide.

As someone who’s gone or successfully going through the fastlane, what is your advice for me? Hunker down and grind it out? Sacrifice the little time a have to pursue my goals in order to experience this life im living? Perhaps im thinking too narrowly.
 
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ZCP

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What is your outcome? What is your why?
 

GivingItMyAll

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What is your outcome? What is your why?
My why is to prove my family wrong. It’s to show my ma that she doesn’t have to work until she’s 60, sacrificing her life and freedom in order to remain comfortable. I want more than anything to show my family and friends who doubted me that I’m not a loser.

I also want freedom from managers and to never feel inferior again
 

ZCP

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what is your mindset?
what are you doing to improve yourself / relax yourself / teach yourself / push yourself / give yourself some credit to be in the right mindset for your big tasks?

and most importantly:
what are the next BIG three items you need to do to get you to your goals?
be specific, measureable, actionable, realistic, and timely in those big three
 
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GivingItMyAll

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what is your mindset?
what are you doing to improve yourself / relax yourself / teach yourself / push yourself / give yourself some credit to be in the right mindset for your big tasks?

and most importantly:
what are the next BIG three items you need to do to get you to your goals?
be specific, measureable, actionable, realistic, and timely in those big three
My mindset is that no matter what’s gonna happen I’m going to get rich. I don’t care how many hours years or tries it takes.

I try to listen to audiobooks whenever I have free time, currently listening to the recommended reads from this forum. That’s about it really. I meditate most days and I journal frequently too. Besides that I haven’t really been relaxing because I feel guilty doing so. Some days like today when all this builds up I relapse and eat junk food and just listen to music all day.

Big three goals to get into the freelancing field
1. Finish the HTML and CSS course I’m taking. I scheduled it so I finish by the end of the next week. Then it’s onto a JavaScript course which shouldnt take as long because I have a programming background. One week
2. Build portfolio projects and do a couple projects for free to get my name out there and to gain experience
3. Get my first client. My dead line is the end of August.

Once I accomplish these steps and am able to get work consistently I’ll be able to move into an actual apartment and save serious money I can use for opportunities down the line
 

ZCP

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How do you get a paying client this week?
Speed this up. Get something done. Provide value. Get paid.
How to do that THIS week?
 

GivingItMyAll

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How do you get a paying client this week?
Speed this up. Get something done. Provide value. Get paid.
How to do that THIS week?
I’d have to finish the course and finish a JavaScript course and the cold approach like a mad man.

Is your advice to go this path?
 
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GivingItMyAll

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How do you get a paying client this week?
Speed this up. Get something done. Provide value. Get paid.
How to do that THIS week?
So am I right to hunker down and focus on nothing but building my business? I know it makes me unhappy to give up on living life but if your advice as a more experienced entrepreneur is to do just that I’d be a fool not to take it.
 

ZCP

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NO. Dude....... Quit making it so complicated!!

Get a paying customer.
AND have a life.
Doesn't have to be either / or. Do both.
You got this.

What three specific things get you a paying customer THIS week? Do them.
What three specific things get you a life you enjoy THIS week? Do them.
 

Andreas Thiel

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Postponing everything for decades is not the way to go.
Everything points towards the importance of relationships and networks, kinda like that study that showed that artists with the best networks are those that succeed.

You wrote that you saved a little cash. Not quite sure if you still have a day job, or if "work until 3" refers to your own business. Where I am going with this is: are you on a timer with your savings?
If so, then that would mean that this is only temporary.

In any case, you should do the 1/5/10 Planacy and then map out your journey through the months and year ahead in more detail.
If you need those Pickup moments in year one, then structure your schedules around that.
My guts tell me that the main issue is that you are investing time in something that has turned out to be a bite too big to chew all at once and needs to be broken down further.

Again, I don't know the details of how you approach web development, but you can't just learn from courses for a long time and then work on a project afterwards, You should work on something emotionally significant right away (even without any knowledge) and get better at figuring things out using the Google search and reading "Getting Started" guides.
Try to get to a point where you can "poke the market" as fast as possible.
 
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GivingItMyAll

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NO. Dude....... Quit making it so complicated!!

Get a paying customer.
AND have a life.
Doesn't have to be either / or. Do both.
You got this.

What three specific things get you a paying customer THIS week? Do them.
What three specific things get you a life you enjoy THIS week? Do them.
Customer:
Im finishing the course this week, I’m learning JS, making a portfolio project and cold calling my a$$ off.

Life:
Im going to struggle and learn how to care for Mimita, my cars name, I’m going to learn one dance move, I’m asking a girl out on a date.

I’m going to try this with everything I have. There’s a part of me that would’ve been comfortable not making myself vulnerable by experiencing life but I’m going to learn how to control that.

I’ll update you in a week

Thank you
 

GivingItMyAll

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Postponing everything for decades is not the way to go.
Everything points towards the importance of relationships and networks, kinda like that study that showed that artists with the best networks are those that succeed.

You wrote that you saved a little cash. Not quite sure if you still have a day job, or if "work until 3" refers to your own business. Where I am going with this is: are you on a timer with your savings?
If so, then that would mean that this is only temporary.

In any case, you should do the 1/5/10 Planacy and then map out your journey through the months and year ahead in more detail.
If you need those Pickup moments in year one, then structure your schedules around that.
My guts tell me that the main issue is that you are investing time in something that has turned out to be a bite too big to chew all at once and needs to be broken down further.

Again, I don't know the details of how you approach web development, but you can't just learn from courses for a long time and then work on a project afterwards, You should work on something emotionally significant right away (even without any knowledge) and get better at figuring things out using the Google search and reading "Getting Started" guides.
Try to get to a point where you can "poke the market" as fast as possible.
No, I saved a little cash to move out here (the bare minimum to take the risk) and now I’m working a day Job from 5am to 3pm and studying for web development from 4pm to whenever Starbucks closes, usually 8pm. I barely have money right now but am saving around 800 a month.

Im going to reflect on a 1/5/10 plan and further break down my goals on pen and paper. This makes sense to me though, thank you
 

Antifragile

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Every decision to do something is simultaneously a decision to not do something else. For example, I am typing a response here, this means I am not working on my business, spending time with my family, exercising or reading. I am typing this response to you.

From that perspective, working on Fastlane will indeed take something away from all other things you could be doing.

However, isn't figuring out and going fastlane part of life? Isn't figuring out that balance on when you choose to do what and how to be successful part of living?

A few other random comments:
  • Working hard doesn't guarantee you becoming rich. Otherwise every barista at the starbucks you are using would be rich.
  • You are still new and learning a skill. Hard to sell a service where you are a novice. Be patient.
  • Life is more than money. And money tends to come when you solve other people's problems and they pay you for it. The harder the problem, the more money. Cure cancer = richest in the world. Seems obvious, so where am I going with this? I found that I make more when I am rested and can think clearly. I see opportunities better.
  • To get your paying customers, you need to learn to pitch. Pitch out of desperation = failure. Client will smell your problems. You must learn to know deep down your service is valuable. You can walk away and client would be worse off. It's not all about the number of cold calls you make, it's about quality of calls.


Good luck, sounds like you are on a path you chose. Keep going.
 
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ZCP

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Customer:
Im finishing the course this week, I’m learning JS, making a portfolio project and cold calling my a$$ off.

Life:
Im going to struggle and learn how to care for Mimita, my cars name, I’m going to learn one dance move, I’m asking a girl out on a date.

I’m going to try this with everything I have. There’s a part of me that would’ve been comfortable not making myself vulnerable by experiencing life but I’m going to learn how to control that.

I’ll update you in a week

Thank you
let's get MORE specific and measurable....

EXAMPLE
I'm completing the course this week and making 85% or higher on the test, I'm putting 8 focused hours of training into JS, i will complete one medium sized portfolio project to show what i have learned and will ask 2 people for feedback, i am making 5 cold calls per day no matter what.

SEE how you now have something to HOLD yourself to? that is the key to getting shit done.
 

GivingItMyAll

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let's get MORE specific and measurable....

EXAMPLE
I'm completing the course this week and making 85% or higher on the test, I'm putting 8 focused hours of training into JS, i will complete one medium sized portfolio project to show what i have learned and will ask 2 people for feedback, i am making 5 cold calls per day no matter what.

SEE how you now have something to HOLD yourself to? that is the key to getting shit done.
Holy shit it feels easy to get this done. Not easy but achievable. there has to be a system to how you planned this out?
 

ZCP

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welcome to the other side. you have the key tool now. pair it with the right mindset and go crush it.
then help others. post your results in a week.
 
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Issi007

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I know the decision is my own and I’d like to hear your input.

I’ve sacrificed a lot these last 6 months. I saved a little cash, moved from NJ to GA for both business and personal reasons, and am currently learning web development to familiarize myself with CENTS (even though freelancing disobeys a few CENTS principles, this’ll be a better base than twiddling my thumbs while waiting for inspiration to strike)

To be frank, the desert of desertion is whooping my booty. Web development has taken up most of my time and happiness - wake at 5, work until 3, then take a web dev course until Starbucks closes at 8. I feel tired all the time and guilty about doing things like exercise or taking a break because I know it’ll take time away from a goal I’ve sacrificed everything for.

For example, my roommate threw a kickback (that’s what people from the south call hanging out) yesterday with our coworkers. A supposedly reasonable side of me said to use that time to study, but its competition was too strong. The side of me thats hasn't had any real fun for the last 2 months, been on NoFap, is lonely and wanting of admiration and to experience life while I’m still young couldn’t resist a chance to flirt and shoot my shot.

If your curious of the outcome — I failed tremendously.

I didn’t even know it was possible to suck this hard with women.

But that’s the thing. Experiencing something besides just work, even if that thing is failure with women gave me so happiness. So much motivation to improve my game, to have fun, to learn how to dance, anything besides studying web dev and working.

Im left torn by living life and enjoying my youth or pursing freedom and generational wealth for my family. I feel guilty even having to decide.

As someone who’s gone or successfully going through the fastlane, what is your advice for me? Hunker down and grind it out? Sacrifice the little time a have to pursue my goals in order to experience this life im living? Perhaps im thinking too narrowly.
You are having an exciting journey mate,
Well, I have not made it Fastlane yet but I personaly take life in different angles.

In my view, life is categorized into health, business, finances, relationship, philanthropic, spiritual fields. Therefore, the FL falls under the business category which means that there is still room for the pursuit of success in other categories.

However, it is important to note that some of those categories are highly correlated and success in FL can greatly influence your success in other fields of life.

Hope this helps and Good luck
 

Diego Liu

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I just read through the entire thread. Oh man, I was in such a similar boat as you are just a few months ago.

Here are a few mindset shifts I’d challenge you to make right now that will have a high chance of boosting your happiness IMMEDIATELY.

1) Stop compartmentalizing “work” and “life.” Work is (a crucial) part of life.

Going Fastlane is likely the hardest thing most forum members here will ever have taken a swing in in life, but you’re making it so much harder on yourself, unnecessarily.
Thinking that (work = unpleasant, “kickbacks” = fun) is a formula for 24/7 misery.

When you’re working hard on your Fastlane, you’re feeling pain and experiencing FOMO on what you think you should experience in your youth, which likely compromises productivity and work quality.

When you’re finally having your “kickbacks,” you feel guilty not because you’re spending that time on something unrelated to work, but because deep down, you know you don’t deserve this rest. You aren’t satisfied with what you produced when you were actually working.

And finally, when you return to your work from a fun kickback, you feel extra painful.

And then you repeat this vicious cycle. This is the story of a typical 9-to-5er’s week by the way.


Start viewing your life as an integrated whole. Every aspect of your life is interconnected.

If you’re not feeling fulfilled with your work and Fastlane pursuit, you’ll naturally exude neediness when you interact with girls and repel them.

If you’re not taking care of your sleep, diet, and exercises, you can’t concentrate and your work quality suffers too.

If you’re doing subpar work, you’ll feel guilty when hanging out with people, not fully engaged there, have low-quality relationships and shallow connections, and end up feeling even lonelier.

Experiencing something besides just work, even if that thing is failure with women gave me so happiness. So much motivation to improve my game, to have fun, to learn how to dance, anything besides studying web dev and working.
Why not apply the same mindset to studying web dev and working? You can challenge yourself there and make it a game too.

The rewards of pickup are getting laid, developing great connections with women you like, self-confidence, etc.

The rewards of working are money, every material item you dream of, freedom, travel, fulfillment (of helping people), business connections, proving your family wrong, etc.

What’s the difference? If you can motivate yourself to learn hard skills and go through failures in one area, you can do the same in the other.



Oh man, I didn’t expect to elaborate this much just on the first point lol.

I hope this helps. I’m early in my journey too and by no means successful like many heavy hitters here, but making this mindset shift a few months back was a true game-changer and made work much more enjoyable.

And putting it in my own words here helps me understand and internalize it a lot more too, so thank you too!

I’ll come back over the next few days on another mindset shift which is closely related.


Some highly recommended materials that gave me this paradigm shift:

1.
2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
3. First Things First also by Stephen Covey
4.
View: https://youtu.be/s6tLGo9yij0
 
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ZCP

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10 days ..... no results posted. come on @GivingItMyAll ! Give back to the community. post your success or failure. then let's talk about why.

see, the tough part is being consistent. then holding yourself accountable.
you can have all the tools, read all the books, get all the advice in the world..... doesn't matter if you don't execute.
 
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Antifragile

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10 days ..... no results posted. come on @GivingItMyAll ! Give back to the community. post your success or failure. then let's talk about why.

see, the tough part is being consistent. then holding yourself accountable.
you can have all the tools, read all the books, get all the advice in the world..... doesn't matter if you don't execute.

Yes.
Reading 1,000 books on swimming … but to become a swimmer you’ll need to get into the pool and swim!
 

Ali Hamza

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" There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life. "

Let's say you are competing with another guy - he is working 16 hours a day while you are only working 8 hours a day, assuming you both are working on the same problem he is going to lap you to product release, be successful and ride off into the sunset while you were busy with instant gratification.

Also think about this - whatever is fun to you now will be even more fun with Financial Freedom (Normal fun + Freedom). So why not work now to get more time with the Intensified fun rather than have normal fun now.
 

James Klymus

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Start viewing your life as an integrated whole. Every aspect of your life is interconnected.
Exactly. I look at the "work-life balance" thing as an employee mindset. As an entrepreneur there is no such thing, at least in the way most people think.

I asked a successful entrepreneur about work life balance once, and his response went something like this:

"There's no such thing as work life balance as an entrepreneur. Your work and your life are combined."

As far as having a life, he put it to me like this:

"When your personal life starts suffering (Wife or Girlfriend, Kids, Friends, Health) or you personally feel you need a break, Then you handle that situation. You take a break, You spend more time with friends and family. When your business starts to need more of your attention, Then you handle that."

The way I interpreted this, is there is no 50/50 or even balance as an entrepreneur. You put your attention on where it is needed, when it's needed. In other words, there are "Seasons". The season of working really hard and sacrificing some of your life that you could spend doing other things. The season of enjoying what you've created. The season of spending time with your family.

That's how I look at things. This is why most people don't become entrepreneurs. They seek balance and immediate gratification, when entrepreneurship is the opposite.
 
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GivingItMyAll

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10 days ..... no results posted. come on @GivingItMyAll ! Give back to the community. post your success or failure. then let's talk about why.

see, the tough part is being consistent. then holding yourself accountable.
you can have all the tools, read all the books, get all the advice in the world..... doesn't matter if you don't execute.
Haha I needed someone to bust my chops like this. Next time I'll put on my calendar to update the community so I dont forget. This is what I've accomplished since your last advice ZCP

Work:
- Finished the HTML and CSS course
- Made a connection with a fellow entrepreneur who owns a shop near the library I grind at. I'm eating lunch with him on Saturday. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't taken your guys advice about living
- I put in the time to understand JS and can confidently recreate beginner to advanced-intermediate functions. I also bought a course. I set a rule that for every hour I learn from the course I have to put in a hour to actually building stuff with JS. This is because JS is useful for thing beyond front-end, it'll pay to get better at JS.
- I started the medium sized project and am actually working on it now. Jesus I overestimated my ability to plan out and execute a project. Doesn't matter though if it takes another week to finish I'm getting it done.
- I quit my job as I have funds to live (not comfortably but live) for 3 months and focus on this Fastlane of mine. My goal is to be making $2k a month before my time is up.

Life:
- I did a lot of flirting and learning about game
- Went on a date and got laid. It's funny how the human mind works because as soon as I got what I wanted I felt empty. Either I did something wrong or pursuing women casual is unsatisfying. Maybe I'll try dating to find love but I don't know how much time a girlfriend takes up and if that time... that's the old me speaking... I'll figure something out
- invested a lot of time into myself, I started doing calisthenics again and bike everywhere now
- Started looking into ways to improve my social skills. Toastmasters, improv classes, etc. This weekend I'll make a plan for myself to improve

That's about it. What were you guys up to these last ten days
 

ZCP

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@GivingItMyAll you are treating this casual as well.
when you get serious about life, it will get serious for you.

what are the next BIG three items you need to do to get you to your goals?
be specific, measureable, actionable, realistic, and timely in those big three
 

Antifragile

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GivingItMyAll

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@GivingItMyAll you are treating this casual as well.
when you get serious about life, it will get serious for you.

what are the next BIG three items you need to do to get you to your goals?
be specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timely in those big three
Three big items to get down my line
1 - Finish portfolio project
2 - Hunt down my first client
3 - Finish my first website

Once these three are done, I've moved on to the second stage of me journey -- actually making money.
Since each step is bound to the previous, I'll just make my SMART plan for the first item

1 - Finish portfolio project
S - Finish the 8 sections (3/8 done) of the landing page and complete the two small subpages
M -
29 Finish section 4
30 Finish section 5
1 Finish section 6, 7, 8 (These are small sections)
2 Finish about us page
3 Finish contact us page
4 Quality pass
5 Quality pass
A - everyday I'll go to Starbucks and spend 10 pomodoro blocks working on that days section. I'll leave my phone at home as always to avoid distractions. I'll take my breaks and actually not think of working while on them.
R - Yes, I've learned my lesson about setting unrealistic goals from the first time I planned to finished this portfolio site
T - This website will be finished before 7/6/2022

What do you think?
 

ZCP

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helps others. post your results in a week.
 

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