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Do You Work Your a$$ Off So Your Kids Don't Have To Struggle???

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Lex DeVille

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A video hit my FB feed this morning (no politics). Guy was ranting why Trump won and how the working class doesn't care about political games. How they only care about family and how they work their a$$ off so their kids don't have to struggle.

So I was wondering how ya'll (who have kids or are thinking about it) feel about a statement like that from an entrepreneur perspective. Do you work your a$$ off so your kids don't have to struggle?

Personally, I work my a$$ off so my family can have a better life. But not so my kids won't have to struggle or find their own way. I don't fight day and night just to hand them the keys to the kingdom or gold shrimp on a silver platter.

I want my family to have nice things and enjoy life. Definitely. But I want my kids to have a strong mind, strong values and be people of action, will, and fortitude. No guarantees they'll turn out that way, but if they don't, it won't be because they were handed everything without earning it.
 

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Sean Kaye

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I pretty much agree with you @SinisterLex - I work pretty hard so my family have a nice lifestyle.

I grew up where we were pretty much hand to mouth a lot of the time so I don't want my son and wife to go through that.

It would be awesome to make billions and leave it behind, but at a minimum, I just would prefer my son have opportunities available to him that he can take up by his own choice.

When you don't have much money, sometimes those opportunities aren't there.
 

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A video hit my FB feed this morning (no politics). Guy was ranting why Trump won and how the working class doesn't care about political games. How they only care about family and how they work their a$$ off so their kids don't have to struggle.

So I was wondering how ya'll (who have kids or are thinking about it) feel about a statement like that from an entrepreneur perspective. Do you work your a$$ off so your kids don't have to struggle?

Personally, I work my a$$ off so my family can have a better life. But not so my kids won't have to struggle or find their own way. I don't fight day and night just to hand them the keys to the kingdom or gold shrimp on a silver platter.

I want my family to have nice things and enjoy life. Definitely. But I want my kids to have a strong mind, strong values and be people of action, will, and fortitude. No guarantees they'll turn out that way, but if they don't, it won't be because they were handed everything without earning it.

This is how you raise a generation of powder puffs, snowflakes, mediocrity & "participation award" society. I say to you, hell no.
 

Runum

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I worked to provide my kid a boost so she could achieve more than myself, reach for her dreams sooner and faster. Now she is doing her own grind.

I do like it when she calls for help now and then. But I LOVE when she tells me problems she has solved without my help.

In some ways my help makes life easier for her but she still has to steer her own ship through the storms.
 

Andy Black

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Firstly, I don't work my a$$ off. I try to put the first things first. I don't want to spend less time with my kids now to spend more time with them later. They grow up so fast, and there may not be a later.

Secondly, I agree. Our kids will struggle with all sorts of things in life. I want to equip mine with the confidence and mindset to overcome whatever life throws at them.

Life's a journey and the fun on the map is in the squiggly bits, not the shortcut to the destination. Or as my gran used to say "a stream with no rocks is a stream with no song".
 

pbellot

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A video hit my FB feed this morning (no politics). Guy was ranting why Trump won and how the working class doesn't care about political games. How they only care about family and how they work their a$$ off so their kids don't have to struggle.

So I was wondering how ya'll (who have kids or are thinking about it) feel about a statement like that from an entrepreneur perspective. Do you work your a$$ off so your kids don't have to struggle?

Personally, I work my a$$ off so my family can have a better life. But not so my kids won't have to struggle or find their own way. I don't fight day and night just to hand them the keys to the kingdom or gold shrimp on a silver platter.

I want my family to have nice things and enjoy life. Definitely. But I want my kids to have a strong mind, strong values and be people of action, will, and fortitude. No guarantees they'll turn out that way, but if they don't, it won't be because they were handed everything without earning it.

For me, it's giving my family and I the best lifestyle possible. All the while, teaching my children how it works through examples and communication. Having the ability to give my children better/more options in life is very important to me and my wife.
 

Lionhearted

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I work hard to be an example to my children. I also work hard at educating myself so I can educate them. The last thing I want is to have them brainwashed by the same educational system that brainwashed me. I strive to be a truth filter for them and provide the best education I can for them through my example. I want give them the ability to think, problem solve, self learn and invest in themselves. This I believe will give them the confidence they will require to be successful in life. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will get his own fish.
 

illmasterj

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For me it's about having the freedom to educate my future family and give them great experiences. "Have the time to teach your kids to fish", if you will.

I don't want them to struggle as such, but I want them to know they have to make their own way in life. Money or no money, they need to figure out how to make themselves happy.
 

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MJ DeMarco

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The struggle is what refines our character and wisdom.

Handing anyone anything a silver platter with no process behind it, and you likely create an entitled dependency.

Pressure turns coal into diamonds.

Insulate your kids from pressure, and they stay dependent pieces of coal.

So no, I don't work hard so my kids will have it easy.
 

eliquid

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Others might have touched on this before me.. but
  • No, I don't work hard so they won't have to struggle in their lives

  • I work hard so they ( and me ) can have options
    • Options like homeschooling if we want
    • Living in another country
    • etc ( not saying you have to work hard to have the above, but I think you know what I mean )
  • I work hard so I can have the things I want, when I want, how I want, where I want personally to some extent
  • I work hard because too much idle time is the devil's playground ( in more ways than one )
  • I work hard because I like to see what personal limits and barriers I can crush. Sometimes I don't even know what the barriers are
  • I work hard because as a father and husband, I do like to know that if something happened to me they wont be on the street at least
    • This doesn't mean off the streets in a penthouse, driving a lambo, with a gold spoon to eat off of
  • I work hard because I kinda enjoy somewhat other people saying I can't do this or that, then I do it
  • I work hard because I know what it feels to have A LOT, and then LOSE MOST/IT ALL. I'm not going back to that
  • I work hard because as I get older, I don't want to be one of those old guys that cant do shit because I was inactive ( mentally and physically )
  • I work hard because I want my kids to know that the world doesn't give 2 shits about you. You want something? Go get it
  • I work hard because a small part of me wants to show all the people that didn't believe in me, royally f*cked up.
  • I work hard because no one else will for me
Some of these might be self centered and materialistic in a few ways, but at least I'm honest.

Also, not listed above....
I feel that what made me, me.. was the struggle. The journey, the path, the failures, the heartache, the carpet being pulled out from under me, the going to bed crying.

Know what else made me, me... the success, the going to bed with no worries and smiling, the looking at my bank account and knowing I can if I wanted take off the next 12 months, the being able to buy my mom a new dryer without even thinking if I had the money, the being able to sponsor a child overseas, the taking a trip to anywhere I want when I want and only carry a backpack for 5 people and just go on our wits, the building of something that only few people of this world will ever do and enjoy doing, the look on the tellers face at the bank when they pull up my account and ask me what I do, the being able to save someone from losing their car and home when they desperately needed it.

Why would I deny my kids that experience?

.
 
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biggeemac

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My kids are getting to see first hand the challenges of getting our business going. I employ one kid, and just fired my other kid....she just wasn't working out. She will have to pay me room and board to stay in my house. Granted, its way cheaper than the open market, but we only do free room and board if you are either working for me, or in school full time. We don't do "entitlement mentality ". I refuse to allow any of my kids to turn into one of these little shits that are either impossible to work with, or protesting minimum wage rights. Not gonna happen on my watch.
 

Longlong

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I think the best gift you can give your kids is a father (and/or mother) who lives life on his/her own terms. That does more for your kids mind than anything materialistic you could ever give.

Also just my own theory here, nothing scientifically proven but I think if spending more time with family is NOT your priority, spending less time with the family because you are busy conquering the world is actually more beneficial to your kids.

When I was growing up I wish my parents went and did their own thing, even if it meant me "suffering" more.
 

Joe Cassandra

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I quit my job with my wife staying home and a 10 month old baby girl.

I quit because I knew :

One day, she will be at a crossroads in her life. She'll wonder: 'Does she take some easy job and put off her dreams for later? Or, will she have learned from me: 'The next 5-10 years will be rough with little vacation while pursuing this huge task...but my biggest fear will be regret. Thanks Dad for inspiring me to go for it.'
Does that mean I'll fund her 10-year trek to LA to become a movie star?

Nope.

But, I give her concrete proof..."forget education or what those snotty professors or people with cushy jobs who never take a risk say...IF YOU SET A GOAL, WORK DAY AND NIGHT, DON'T GET DISTRACTED...you can do it. You'll hit bumps, but you can do it.
 

IceCreamKid

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I work my a$$ off right now so that I don't have to when I have kids. I still want to work when I have kids though. I love the game.

When I was a kid, I never had much time with my dad because he was always working. The little free time that he did have with me wasn't even quality time because he was too exhausted to really be present to the moment.

I view the script in many ways as a huge stress on family relationships. Work Mon-Fri for the man. Spend Saturday like a zombie just trying to recover from the exhaustion. Spend Sunday somewhat happy because you're physically recovered, but semi-depressed towards the evening since you know where you have to be Monday morning. Anyone can do that for a few years, but 40 years?

At the heart of everything, I just want to be a good dad that spends time with his kids. I don't want to spoil them and turn them into entitled brats though.

I Love Rubber Bands
by Bo Sanchez

Let me tell you a crazy story I heard recently.There' s this husband who out of sheer love for his wife decided to prove it to her. So he swam the widest oceans, crossed the deepest rivers, and climbed the highest mountains to show his deep devotion to her. But in the end, she divorced him.

Why? Because he was never home.(Get it?)

Let me tell you an experience I had as a kid. One day, I asked Mom, "Why do my shoes keep eating my socks?" As a young boy, that was always a mystery for me. All my other classmates never had that problem. Their socks remained tight and high up their legs the entire day.

Mom didn't answer my question but simply gave me two rubber bands which I dutifully placed around the top of my socks. To this day, fifteen years later, I still have permanent circle marks around my legs. But aside from giving me this slight defect, the two bands worked like magic.

It never occurred to me that Dad and Mom didn't have the money to buy a new pair of socks for me. So I wore five-year-old socks, all soggy, grayish, and garter less. And yet amazingly, I never complained. I believe it was because Dad was always home when I needed him. Every night, after coming from work, we'd jog together, sit around, and talk about Tarzan, Farrah Fawcett Majors,God, and what I wanted to be when I grew up (a stockholder) . On Saturdays, we'd walk to Cubao, eat a hotdog-on-a- stick,and buy new rubber bands before going home.

I've learned that in truth, we don't want our loved ones to show their love for us in big ways. Swimming the widest oceans,crossing the deepest rivers, and climbing the highest mountains seem spectacular - but that's not what we really want. Deep in our hearts, we just want them home. With us.

Sometimes, God will operate that way. Suddenly, He decides not to answer our prayers, or fill our need, or heal our sickness, or give us the miracle we're asking for. (He's got reasons why He won't, and believe me - they're pretty good ones.) So He'll just be there beside you, holding you in a hug. Sharing your pain. Weeping as you weep. Oh, He might give you some rubber bands. And that small comfort from Him will be more than enough to sustain you. Because the most essential truth you already know.

..home.
 

Kelly C

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I don't want my son to struggle financially - that is a key motivator for me, but he may never take me up on it when he is older.

I want him to have the space to do things in life he really wants to, without having to spend his time on money unless he really enjoys it.

Life is too short. I have wasted a lot of time on bringing an income in - if I can set my son up so he doesn't have to worry about that element then I will. He can take it or leave it.

He will have plenty of struggles in life, room to grow - I do not believe being able to offer financial support to my son is a bad thing for him at all. I don't think it will hinder him in being hard working, thoughtful, strong or capable.

I think financial struggle is a hindrance and yes in a way, it has made me stronger and I have learnt a lot..but to be honest I would have rather have spent my time on other things.

Other key motivators are that I get to do what the hell I want whenever, don't have to have a boss and get to hang out with my family whenever I want too.
 
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amp0193

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Firstly, I don't work my a$$ off. I try to put the first things first. I don't want to spend less time with my kids now to spend more time with them later. They grow up so fast, and there may not be a later.

Came here to say the same.

I work enough to pay the bills, provide slow steady growth to the business, and to provide my family with my available free-time. I work 6 to 7 days a week, but maybe only 4-8 hours a day, and that's mostly in the early AM and the last PM after bedtime.

I could be grinding 12-16 hours a day, but at the cost of missing the here and now with my kids.

I think the best thing you can give your kids is your time and presence.

I think @JScott's path is the ideal one, if you're fortunate enough to have figured things out earlier in life.
 

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amp0193

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spending less time with the family because you are busy conquering the world is actually more beneficial to your kids.

I don't think my 3-year old would agree with you.

However, my 3-month old probably wouldn't mind. I'm not the one he wants anyways.


Phil Knight of Nike conquered the world, and the one regret he listed at the end of his memoir Shoe Dog, was that he wished he had spent more time with his kids.
 

Christopher777

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Our kids will struggle later on anyway because that's part of life. What OP pointed out is the monetary aspect.

I've been catching up with my daughter for more than a month now. And today I am going away to do business. For a while.

I couln't get enough of being with her, playing with her, making her laugh, throw her up in the air, watch Mr Bean as well as Barbie on Youtube with her and teaching her things.

For me, what's important is to let them know that you are there for them. That you love them so much. In all sorts of ways.
 

G-Man

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There's no such thing as life without struggle.

I'm here for the same reason as everybody else, and I wish I'd gotten started years ago like @amp0193 and @JScott,.

That said: The only resource anyone has that can't be taken away is himself. I just want my son to know how to use that.
 

amp0193

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There's no such thing as life without struggle.

I'm here for the same reason as everybody else, and I wish I'd gotten started years ago like @amp0193 and @JScott,.

I started for real, when my kid was born. So, you're at the same place I was.

It took 1.5 years of hustling before I was able to quit the job.
 

Jess Grey

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I work hard now so I don't have to for the rest of my life and I will happily teach my son these same techniques. Whether or not this is the same path he chooses is completely up to him, but he won't just be handed the keys to an easy life. He'll have to figure some things out on his own but I will always be there to help guide him.
 

Greg R

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Iammelissamoore

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Firstly, I don't work my a$$ off. I try to put the first things first. I don't want to spend less time with my kids now to spend more time with them later. They grow up so fast, and there may not be a later.

Secondly, I agree. Our kids will struggle with all sorts of things in life. I want to equip mine with the confidence and mindset to overcome whatever life throws at them.

Life's a journey and the fun on the map is in the squiggly bits, not the shortcut to the destination. Or as my gran used to say "a stream with no rocks is a stream with no song".
Hey, words straight out of my mouth. Lol, I agree wholeheartedly, I don't have children as yet, but I do believe family is super-important, my chase in entrepreneurship is solely to provide - yes, but definitely to have the time to spend with the fam, without having to worry too much about where an income will be coming from.

However, by all means, in spending that time with them, I want to build a foundation with them, that when they do go into the world, they can make their own mistakes and face their struggles but also be brave enough, or at least smart enough to make decisions/do things that will help themselves get ahead.

The way I grew up, I was over-protected from a lot of things, I get that parents simply want the best for their children; however, breaking away from my safe job and having to figure things on my own with biz was one of the most rewarding things I have done in my life. My dad always said how worried he was, but for me, this journey of figuring out the unknown is necessary.

I work hard to be an example to my children. I also work hard at educating myself so I can educate them. The last thing I want is to have them brainwashed by the same educational system that brainwashed me. I strive to be a truth filter for them and provide the best education I can for them through my example. I want give them the ability to think, problem solve, self learn and invest in themselves. This I believe will give them the confidence they will require to be successful in life. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will get his own fish.
THIS RIGHT HERE - is my Exact Belief - THIS is my drive for what I do!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

ZF Lee

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Phil Knight of Nike conquered the world, and the one regret he listed at the end of his memoir Shoe Dog, was that he wished he had spent more time with his kids.
Was it MJ who said something along the lines of, 'Don't destroy one wealth in exchange for another?'

I think it's a prevalent mistake of even Fastlane billionaires...cue Steve Jobs and Sam Walton.
Never mind getting the millions or keeping them, this problem is the elephant in the room. It's f*cking hard to return back to your family when you are pumped up, achievement orientated and loaded with responsibilities towards your investors, employees or customers. I know because I have seen it happened in my family, and the resulting divorces, arguments, mess was not a pleasant sight.

Never mind conquering the world...conquer and control your life!
 

P789

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I Love Rubber Bands
by Bo Sanchez

Let me tell you a crazy story I heard recently.There' s this husband who out of sheer love for his wife decided to prove it to her. So he swam the widest oceans, crossed the deepest rivers, and climbed the highest mountains to show his deep devotion to her. But in the end, she divorced him.

Why? Because he was never home.(Get it?)

Let me tell you an experience I had as a kid. One day, I asked Mom, "Why do my shoes keep eating my socks?" As a young boy, that was always a mystery for me. All my other classmates never had that problem. Their socks remained tight and high up their legs the entire day.

Mom didn't answer my question but simply gave me two rubber bands which I dutifully placed around the top of my socks. To this day, fifteen years later, I still have permanent circle marks around my legs. But aside from giving me this slight defect, the two bands worked like magic.

It never occurred to me that Dad and Mom didn't have the money to buy a new pair of socks for me. So I wore five-year-old socks, all soggy, grayish, and garter less. And yet amazingly, I never complained. I believe it was because Dad was always home when I needed him. Every night, after coming from work, we'd jog together, sit around, and talk about Tarzan, Farrah Fawcett Majors,God, and what I wanted to be when I grew up (a stockholder) . On Saturdays, we'd walk to Cubao, eat a hotdog-on-a- stick,and buy new rubber bands before going home.

I've learned that in truth, we don't want our loved ones to show their love for us in big ways. Swimming the widest oceans,crossing the deepest rivers, and climbing the highest mountains seem spectacular - but that's not what we really want. Deep in our hearts, we just want them home. With us.

Sometimes, God will operate that way. Suddenly, He decides not to answer our prayers, or fill our need, or heal our sickness, or give us the miracle we're asking for. (He's got reasons why He won't, and believe me - they're pretty good ones.) So He'll just be there beside you, holding you in a hug. Sharing your pain. Weeping as you weep. Oh, He might give you some rubber bands. And that small comfort from Him will be more than enough to sustain you. Because the most essential truth you already know.

..home.
Speaking of Bo Sanchez, I want you to know that this guy has published books that promotes slowlane advice like Robert Kiyosaki.

Here is my post on r/Philippines.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Philippines/comments/kex272 View: https://www.reddit.com/r/Philippines/comments/kex272/why_i_hate_bo_sanchez/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Although this post was mostly written in Tagalog, the message here is that he sells slowlane advice by selling books related to stock market, living frugally eyc.
 

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