Do you have to give up your social life to become rich?

[SweetTooth]

It looks like a common principal on the Fastlane journey to ditch your friends, family, stop going out, forget partying, and to work hard until you become rich instead. It seems so lonely. Do I really have to leave all my current friends and stop staying out late to grow a company? Because that's how it looks. Was this true for you? I ask because I've found myself loving to stay out late, partying, making friends and meeting women. Is there a balance that can be achieved?

 

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[Ravens_Shadow]

I'd recommend reading the posts I made in one of my previous threads, as I posted multiple times. https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...the-fastlane-become-golden-stay-golden.61463/

As it describes this situation fairly well, I always take time off. It's really just about living "life". Do what needs to be done, but don't imprison yourself. Take time off when needed. You're on a journey, no need to not have fun while doing it. Just don't go out so much that it affects your business pursuits. I'm free on 50% of my sundays, I just simply don't need to work, because i've made sure that I worked hard enough during the week. And because i'm involved in very large projects, I have to take time off every so often to get my shit together for the next week.

I also want to note that on most days i could be free, I choose to work anyway, because it gets me there faster, however there will absolutely be times where you are working 12-18 hours a day for months straight, simply because its what you HAVE TO DO.

A post I made from that page:

My Biggest Fear.
So here's one of my ex-BIGGEST fears, which ended up holding no truth in the end. I feared I was never going to be able to sleep again. That the end of the day face plant into the bed was what I thought i'd lose. Why is this an important thing to bring up? It signifies what I thought was going to be a significant loss in my life. Now i'm not saying that going to sleep is my favorite thing in life. It's more of a metaphor for I thought I was going to be losing out on my life, that everything would change, to the point where I wouldn't even be able to sleep. I told myself that doing business will make me lifeless. That doing business will make me "dead". The end of the day face plant in the bed signifies that you ARE alive to me. It's one of those really good moments. You go into your room, look at your bed and you're just ecstatic that you're finally there and can rest. To me that's the very last thing in my day and it allows me to bask in success for a minute, then drift away.

This is important for me to get this out there, because I know there are many other's that are scared that they are going to be dead once they do something entrepreneurial. That their life ends there, that nothing but business happens after that. It's so untrue, I can't even begin to describe how false it is. Just taking action in itself is truly freeing. My happiness levels have skyrocketed, since I've had my fair share of success. I'm even more excited because I found that i've only just begun my journey and that there will be so many more awesome things to come, simply because I started this chain reaction towards inevitable wealth. But it's not just about the wealth, folks, it's about the journey, and really enjoying it. Every day I learn something new, and get to just fully enjoy every second of it. I love exactly where I am, and exactly what I'm doing. It'll only get better from here.

The truth is, I'm not dead. I'm extremely happy. I still get to do my faceplant into my bed, each and every night. I know that's eventually not guaranteed at one point, which is why our time is extremely valuable. But because I know that eventually it will come to an end, I must still have a life outside of all business. I sincerely recommend you do other things. Nothing gets taken away from you when you do business. Sure, you make sacrifices. But when it truly boils down to YOU, not much is lost, if anything. There's so much to gain by just starting, by just doing it. The things i've "lost", were pretty worthless in the first place. Sure, I don't play video games as much, and I frankly don't eat as much junk food now. I'm always looking to find a life enriching experience. And these experiences come every day. Become aware of your environment. Take the time to become aware of everything, and take a walk outside and enjoy it.

You have only have everything to gain. Do it for you.

Once you become aware, things can only get better from there.

 

[Gsuz]

Depends on a variety of factors: What are you trying to achieve, what's your personality like, what are you willing to sacrifice?

For me personally it's like: I want to be F*cking rich + I don't need to socialize all day, because I feel like most of the time it adds nothing "new" + I'd rather spend time developing key relationships with a few people = I err on the side of working on my business instead of partying, staying out etc. So that's my balance.

 

[theag]

 

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[James Fake]

Personally speaking.. I have sacrificed ALOT of my social life. With that said; I still managed to have good and exciting times in my 20's but much of it was put into work and building skills. Many nights I missed out on things that friends were doing.. gets depressing sometimes but stuff pays off.

 

[Kingmaker]

Lack of time is lack of priorities. You can still have enough time to party as long as when you're working, you're actually WORKING, not just doing minutae things to play entrepreneur. Example: needlessly tweaking your website vs making 200 cold calls to get sales. Focus on high ROI activities and you can live your life how you want it.

 

[Mattie]

It looks like a common principal on the Fastlane journey to ditch your friends, family, stop going out, forget partying, and to work hard until you become rich instead. It seems so lonely. Do I really have to leave all my current friends and stop staying out late to grow a company? Because that's how it looks. Was this true for you? I ask because I've found myself loving to stay out late, partying, making friends and meeting women. Is there a balance that can be achieved?

This was very true for me to a certain extent. It was necessary every step of the way. It really depends on who is around you, what they're mindset is, whether they're supportive, or naysayers and fault finders. At home I stayed away from partying because it costs money/bad habits with alcohol or drugs a at bars or parties, and people are just stupid under the influence. While my friends were nice people, they had bad habits of every kind. I made the right choices because people didn't want to achieve success.

In the Netherlands, I do go out to have a bite to eat, travel to Germany, and Belgium to see Europe, but it's usually on a one day basis and few hours. They drink, but it's quite different then back in America. It's more with their dinner then partying, and not to get drunk. Most of them run their businesses, or work and have a positive mentality. I do know they're not nuts about me being an Entrepreneur, but I just ignore it, and it's not really nay saying. It's more like why do you want to be and Entrepreneur and hangout with those kinds of people that love money. lol I find it kind of humorous. Those Entrepreneurs are mostly on Fastlane. I think people have this image and generalization that all Entrepreneurs are the bad guys. lol It's already in my blood, so I think they just wonder why I'm so fascinated with spending all my time working on things to create my own world, instead of going to get a regular job.

I think most people think you're wasting your time becoming an Entrepreneur because they see it as pipe dreams, or it will never happen, or your going to hang out with the sharks and become dickhead. At least that's what I've been experiencing when people hear about my projects. The American Dream, and they laugh.

I think what I've learned is people really don't want you doing something they don't do, and they don't like you changing. And so there comes a time when you decide whether people need to be cut out of your life. There are some people that I don't cut out, and tolerate comments, and others I do. I think you evaluate the situation as you go, and what kind of influence they have on you.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

I don't like people, so thankfully this isn't a problem for me.

Just prioritize your time more efficiently and you can do most things that you want to do.

Most people just front and waste time, when they could actually be doing things that matter.

 

[biophase]

It looks like a common principal on the Fastlane journey to ditch your friends, family, stop going out, forget partying, and to work hard until you become rich instead. It seems so lonely. Do I really have to leave all my current friends and stop staying out late to grow a company? Because that's how it looks. Was this true for you? I ask because I've found myself loving to stay out late, partying, making friends and meeting women. Is there a balance that can be achieved?

The issue is not with the staying out late. But drinking, no sleep, partying all night on a Friday or Saturday makes you unproductive the whole next day. This leaves you weeknights to work on your business (assuming you have a day job). Sure you can get your business running on just weeknights of work. If you are ok with that, that's fine. But in business you are in competition, someone who works harder than you will get much further. This is why you need to decide where you want to be and how fast you want to get there.

You don't need to give up friends and going out.

Just like in working out you may not need to give up burgers and fries. But if you stand next to a dude that did, you'll see why he is so much more cut than you. At that point, will you wish you gave up the burgers? Only you can answer that question.

 

[OscarDeuce]

Um...getting "rich" rather enhanced my social life. Girls that previously would have crossed the street to avoid me began to fight over who was going out with me, and they approached me. Seriously, any effort to better yourself will disrupt your social life as your former peers will drift away. As I became more successful, hanging out at some dive bar with the guy who drove the honey wagon at the airport gave way to dinner at the Palm with a couple of millionaires and their wives or an impromptu trip to Vegas in a billionaire's Gulfstream. Your mileage may vary....

Cheers,
O-2

 

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[healthstatus]

What is this social life thing you speak of??

 

[juturna]

I've met a guy who did that, so I believe it's something you might have to consider.

 

[Contrarian]

Really depends on your outlook. You could view it as "giving up" various aspects of your life, in the sense that you're depriving yourself somehow. Or you can look at it as making the conscious decision to spend your finite and precious time investing in what matters most.

There was a time not so long ago when I spent most of my free time getting drunk, going out, meeting people, watching boxsets, playing games, having "intellectual discussions" about some nonsense which had no purpose whatsoever. And I used to look ahead to some gruelling sacrifice that lay before me should I follow this path. But you know what? Now I've finally ditched the j-o-b, work for myself, have a plan and know where I'm going...

I like working 12+ hours a day. I like spending my spare time reading business books, weightlifting books and other actionable non-fiction. I'd rather make sure I get down the gym 5 times a week and track my diet than order a pizza and get wasted. I don't want to waste time going out meeting randomers at bars. And I find that the more serious I get about living an exceptional life and going outside the norm, the more disdain I have for regular people anyway.

There's also been a mindset shift in that I don't care anymore about finding the ONE FAST PATH to riches so I can get this over and done with and retire in five years to do...what, exactly? So I don't have 50 grand to chuck down on a massive startup. Who cares? For now I'm just freelancing doing the same work I used to do for someone else, and when I am financially secure I will reinvest the money into small, cheap online business. And when I have the means, I can throw 50 grand into a massive startup later. It's a way of life, not a race.

Not to say you have to become some kind of recluse. I spend one day/night a week or sometimes the weekend with my girlfriend. I see friends once or twice a week, although now it's for a coffee or for a few whiskies on a Friday night before I duck out at a reasonable hour. I just make sure everything else is taken care of first.

You can also make dual purpose friends, who provide you with productive value and vice versa when you see them rather than just "hanging out".

If you're truly serious about starting on this epic journey, I imagine you got this far because on some level you found everyday life mundane and banal. Step into the dark side and if it's truly for you, you will come to love your new lifestyle and it won't feel like a sacrifice at all. At least, that's been my (thus far limited) experience.

Nothing wrong and everything right with being abnormal in a society which worships mindless hedonism as a virtue and looks down on self-direction and high achievement.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Some months ago I was out at bar celebrating a friend's birthday. One of the gals there (who is a borderline alcoholic with medical problems because of it) chastises me because I don't want to gulp a shot. When I decline she retorts "Awwww, cmon, it's Saturday night!" I looked at her at shook my head (knowing her liquored background) and said "No, it's not only Saturday night, it's my entire Sunday." (I tend to get migraines the next day after drinking too much.)

Your actions have consequences. If you think staying out all night and getting hammered is fun, then by all means, go do it. However don't fool yourself into thinking that the next day can be a prime speciman of productivity, because it isn't. You might get away with that stuff in your 20's, but by the time you're my age, you won't.

In other words, you can ditch your social life, your friends, and your bad habits and still be a shitty entrepreneur-- namely, because you're a shitty decision maker.

 

[biggeemac]

I'm about to turn 40. I'm so glad that I'm past that "phase". The only social life i need is having a good time in bed with my wife and occasionally some social time with other family members.

Good luck friend.

 

[DeletedUser394]

I <3 him

 

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[James Thornton]

It takes a lot of work up front to achieve freedom.

You can either make time for it or be a life long employee with 5:2 work/life balance. Just ask my 75 year old dad who's still on the clock when he should be on a golf course.

 

[M&A]

For some area of your life to get another has to give. We all have to make sacrifices be it social life, important relationships, work, money, health.

Everything worth getting in life has a price. If the ends justify the means you will pay the price needed.

An example would be if you want a great physique and live a healthy lifestyle, you cannnot get wasted 3 times a week with your frat buddies. Thats the price you have to pay and you have to decide if its worth it in the end.

If becoming a success in business means having to move 3000 miles from your family and friends for the foreseeable future, you either pay the price or you don't. If it means enough to you, you will pay the price.

Life IMO is a series of risk/reward decisions leading to various outcomes neither good or bad.

I doubt you can name anyone successful person who has a perfectly balanced life.

They don't exist we only have so much time to accomplish what we want on this earth ......

 

[H. Palmer]

It looks like a common principal on the Fastlane journey to ditch your friends, family, stop going out, forget partying, and to work hard until you become rich instead. It seems so lonely. Do I really have to leave all my current friends and stop staying out late to grow a company? Because that's how it looks. Was this true for you? I ask because I've found myself loving to stay out late, partying, making friends and meeting women. Is there a balance that can be achieved?

If you want to be hyper successful the question should not be: "do I need to ditch my social life?"

The question should be: "what social circle should I become part of that will help me become successful?".


Ditch: bars, fast women, booz, snacks, anything addictive, "you can't do that" people, most of your family.

Adopt: private clubs, golf course, business seminars, Toastmasters, a mentor, a role model, people on the same path or further down the path.

 

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[Dwight Schrute]

"Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future" - Dan Pena


I'm happy that I diched my former stoner friends.

I visited them last weekend:

Sitting on the same place on the couch as 5 years ago, talking about the same useless shit,
while watching the same mindnumbing tv-shit.


SHIT.

If you're heading for success, and your social circle acts as a break, cut the breakline.

 

[Guest3722A]

The deeper you get in this game you'll find that people more and more will start to dislike you, talk behind your back, try to one-up you, etc. That's their problem, not yours. Just be aware and not gullible.

Entrepreneurship isn't for everybody, so if it's for you, take your man pill and deal with it. When you start to see your income increasing, equaling and surpassing your slave wages (and theirs), you won't really give a shit anyway.

 

[juturna]

It's the hardest thing to do in life, but it's F*cking worth it for sure.
Money over anything.

 

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[luniac]

It's the hardest thing to do in life, but it's F*cking worth it for sure.
Money over anything.

ive nightclubbed only 3 times as a regular person, now im working hard so i can go nightclubbing as a rich person.

1 night rich clubbing > 10000000 nights regular clubbing

 

[juturna]

ive nightclubbed only 3 times as a regular person, now im working hard so i can go nightclubbing as a rich person.

1 night rich clubbing > 10000000 nights regular clubbing

it's best to do it that way man! go all out in one night than going out barely any every night.

 

[SteveO]

You can still hang out with who you want and do the things you want to do. The whole "want" thing is the real topic.

I did not ditch my friends that have common interests. In fact, my whole world revolves around my friends and acquaintances that have common interests. Some of them drink and party. Most of them are not fastlane. Why should I care as long as we are enjoying what we are doing?

The "want" part of it comes into play. If you want to make money, enjoy life, and remain healthy, you will make choices that lead you in those directions. If your desire to party is greater then that is what you will tend toward. Nothing wrong with making choices .They are your "wants".

 

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[juturna]

I feel like if you hang out with people who are barely or hardly doing it, it'll be a drag on you because they'll either depend on you to put down for everything or be pretentious that you're doing it that well.

I could be wrong, but that's what I've been seeing with the people I associate with.

 

[The Abundant Man]

Discipline Equals Freedom

 

[Mattie]

I feel like if you hang out with people who are barely or hardly doing it, it'll be a drag on you because they'll either depend on you to put down for everything or be pretentious that you're doing it that well.

I could be wrong, but that's what I've been seeing with the people I associate with.

Usually it's because you have a different perception and mindset. Fast lane is like speaking a different language. If you don't know the language, you can't understand the language.

 

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[Mattie]

It looks like a common principal on the Fastlane journey to ditch your friends, family, stop going out, forget partying, and to work hard until you become rich instead. It seems so lonely. Do I really have to leave all my current friends and stop staying out late to grow a company? Because that's how it looks. Was this true for you? I ask because I've found myself loving to stay out late, partying, making friends and meeting women. Is there a balance that can be achieved?

I think it depends on the people around you. If they're like minded, have a vision of entrepreneurship, same goals, I'm sure there's a bit of a difference then those who are not on the same path. Since this has a lot to do with education, growth, and maturing, naturally relationships fall away that don't resonate with your goals. This is because they may not be interested in the same goals.

 

[Niptuck MD]

according to some extreme cases in "deep work" yes; ultimately so; there are too many distractions and if you are trying to be ELITE and above the rest, this sacrifice may as well be made for the benefit of your goals