Developing Discipline and Overcoming Obstacles

[Allthingznew]

It seems that coming up with ideas, analyzing properties or businesses, researching trends and/or ideas etc. are all important pieces of creating wealth, but without action, none of it matters.

There are many “things†that get in the way of action such as procrastination and fear etc. The above mentioned activities can be done under the guise of working, but in reality can be nothing more than busy work to avoid doing what really needs to be done.

What kinds of practical things have you done to become successfully productive?

Does it make a difference to plan your day or not? Have you struggled with planning your day and then when it came to follow through other things found a way to “become more or just as important†than what you planned?

How have you achieved the ability to remain focused and not go down rabbit trails looking at “good†ideas? How did you overcome fear, for example, the fear of calling prospects etc.?

How did you make the things you needed to do “bite sized�

This is not an all inclusive list, but hopefully will generate thoughts and ideas for people to work with.

If you have had success in becoming more disciplined and/or overcoming obstacles, please share your experience.

 

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[andviv]

I follow a to-do list. I go after the top priority for the day. I work on getting at least one activity off the list.

What I've noticed is that I have to do the top 1 priority before anything else.... for example, complete that activity before reading my email, or the news. Why? Cause that is how I get distracted. I am working to change my mindset to be a single-tasker instead of a multi-tasker.

During working on this activity, do not pick up the phone, read emails, open a new browser, etc etc etc.... do not get distracted until you are done. That's been my focus lately.

I struggle a lot with those activities that I do not want to do (the last one was filing an appeal to my health insurance.. I was really avoiding it until I had to slap my self and did it). But hey, it is top 1 in the list... it MUST be done.

 

[SteveO]

I found my path and just went full speed at it.

Obstacles are challenges that I like. A couple of my favorites:

"You're not ready to start buying apartments" Quote from the first agent that I was trying to get to help me.

"There are no 100% financed deals." Loan broker

"That deal is less than a 5% cap. You can't make that work!" Lender that did lend me the money. The deal was sold a year later for a $1M profit. It was cashflowing fine at the time of sale.

As far as daily task management goes, not my cup of tea.

 

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[kimberland]

OK. A good mentor will give feed-back and will make you accountable to some extent, but why do you need this? I get the feeling that you need someone to pat you on the head and say Good Girl.

Ummm.... as Steve mentioned,
there are enough people kicking us in the a$$
to worry about being patted on the head.

I don't "need" this
but I'd be a fool not to use all the tricks and tools available
to get me where I want to be.
If I need to get a difficult task done
(especially one I'm dreading),
I know that making myself accountable to someone else
will increase the odds of it getting done
(studies have proven this).
It also opens up avenues for help (early) if I get stuck.

I'm not too proud to ask for help
or to let that pride get in the way of me achieving my goals.
(Which is the only reason that I can think of
NOT to use this trick,
that and the fear of failure).

So tell me, Cat Man Du, why do you NOT use this trick?

 

[Diane Kennedy]

I just stumbled on this thread. Bottomline on motivation - we all have different things that motivate us. I've had different strategies at different times in my life.

In the beginning of my career, it was like a game to me. I saw clients who weren't as smart as me making a lot more money than me. Talk about a kick in the ego....or kick somewhere. So, I watched them and learned from them. And just did what they did. My lesson from that: You don't need a brilliant idea to be successful, you just need to be able to bring it to market.

These days I still learn from my clients, but I don't have the same need for challenge. I've gone through some business turmoil this year and a few times I've wondered whether it was time to just go completely to passive income. We could have a very comfortable (even better than that, actually) life, but it still wouldn't be as much income as I get when I'm working actively in part of the business.

So, last month, I went down to Juarez (across the border from El Paso, TX) and visited an orphanage that I hadn't seen in 3 years. I think I posted about it somewhere else already, but it was sobering to see the conditions these young girls lived in. They have a new building under construction, but didn't have the resources to complete it once the building shell was done. I challenge anyone to spend a day with 34 girls crammed in a place so small that they have to take turns getting out of bed because they all can't be up at the same time. And, they're located in such a dangerous part of the city that they can't ever go outside. It's worse than jail.

It's through my business that I get the connections that can make a change quickly. In fact, I actually went a little over board. We ended up getting two project double funded. (Two charities agreed to pay for a sub-station, but one moved the funds over to employing a teacher for a year. And we got a grant plus a private donation, both agreeing to fully fund the completion of the interior of the building. Not sure where that extra money will go yet, but it will be put to good use. )

The other motivation for me is our son David. We adopted him just after he turned 14 and he's had plenty of role models on what doesn't work. My husband and I work very hard to set examples on how to live a life of full accountability (not being a victim),abundance (it's not "I can't afford it" "It's how can I afford it...") and outside the box thinking (it's not "Can I? " it's "How can I?") It's pushing us to be much more effective as well!

My biggest challenge is focus. The problem isn't lack of opportunities, it's drowning in opportunities. My husband is working very closely with me in my business again (thank god that the fix and flip market is done - he went into that because it was so easy to make quick money! But my business really suffered without his presence to stay single minded. ) and we go through opportunities every couple of days. He helps me focus back on what we need to do to create the most optimum return.

On overcoming obstacles - well, my family is a family of survivors. My husband was in a car crash that almost killed him and did kill his first wife. My son has been through 13 years of h*** in 6 orphanages in Mexico. My former husband committed suicide. I don't know that everyone else can do this, but when things are bad, we ask each other, "Is this the hardest thing you've been through?" And the answer is always "no." Dust yourself off and get back on that horse.

I can't remember who to attribute this to, but one of my favorite quote is "It'll all work out in the end, and if it hasn't worked out yet, it means it is not the end."

Cat & Kim, you both have found ways that motivate you. Hey, I don't care if it means you wear a Hermes scarf to get you through the day - whatever works, awesome. I am a bit of a hybrid between outside motivation and inner motivation. I don't use someone else for accountability, but I do use other people as the "reason" why I need to self-motivate.

Hats off to all of you who keep plugging away - focus on what's important, don't let anything stop you and be open to change your approach, but never your ultimate goal, or who you are at the core.

 

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[kimberland]

I'm a pretty disciplined person
(being a project gal I have to be)
so there isn't that much of a gap in my to do list.

I also make myself accountable.
For example:
I'll tell the hubby
I want to do this and this and this today.
At the end of the day,
I know he'll ask about it.

 

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[Allthingznew]

Cat Man Du

I know I, and many others on this forum, appreciate the input that Kimberland and Andviv give, as evidenced by their speed scores. Please do not belittle and/or argue with them in this thread.

I started this tread asking legitimate questions, hoping that those who have had success would share how they overcame and these two have done just that. It is very easy to become side tracked and it's easy to let fear hold you back, no matter what you write down on paper.

It is absolutely essential to write down your goals, but just as an architect writes down the plan, it doesn't manifest as a building until it is put into action, and many times there are obstacles within that process that have to be overcome otherwise the building won't get built. They may be different obstacles than the ones discussed here, but the principal is the same.

Kimberland

"Fear is a caution, not a stop" that's very good to remember for anything, not just achieving your goals.

Andviv

There is always at least one 'that' task isn't there? Even once you've checked one off your list a new and different one shows up. And do you find that often once you completed 'that' task, you realize it wasn't 'that' bad? But you don't know until you've overcome the barrier.

I hope others will add some of their stories in these areas. I'm sure most everyone has had one struggle or another with one thing or another that they've been able to persevere through.

 

[andviv]

I don't see anything wrong with Cat Man Du's reply... having these types of arguments are healthy as long as they don't become a pissing contest (i.e. do not attack people personally for no reason). His/Her point of view is a valid one and bring something else to the discussion... thinking about it from different perspectives one could argue that not having the willingness to do a task on your own without having somebody supporting you or holding you accountable could be an indicator of a) not having enough motivation to reach the goal (maybe this motivation alone should be enough); or b) maybe you should not be doing this task in the first place.

I do agree with Cat Man Du's idea of asking others to see how they deal with this.

Allthingznew, Rep ++
I like this post, interesting topic. And yes, most of the cases those things you just don't want to do are, after completing them, not such a big deal after all... I think this comes from facing situations that make you uncomfortable and/or make you face one of your inner fears (public speaking, talking to somebody with more authority, fear of failure, etc etc)

 

[Runum]

My motivation to Developing Discipline and Overcome Obstacles has more to do with wasted time and opportunities. I am 48 and just started taking control a couple of years ago. I see what I have done for the past 20 years(or not done). I know that if I am going to enjoy a good life that I need to focus on those changes that are going to get me there. So I know, inside of me, when those old feelings and habits start to creep in that I am wasting time. Also, I know that all of this change is up to only one person, me.

The other thing that helps me is that I teach 5th grade science in school. My main reason for getting into teaching was to help children without dads. My dad left when I was 12. The last thing he told me is that he would come back to get me and he never did. Several of my kids act up in school and are constantly in trouble directly due to problems at home. If their parents only could realize how much they are messing their kid's life up. Anyway, my routine lessons to the these kids is about not allowing the actions of others to control you or your actions, make better choices to improve your future, allow school to be a refuge from the problems at home and use it to make you a better person, etc. How could I work with these kids and convince them to make changes in their lives if I don't practice what I preach? So I can also say, because of my students I get off my duff and consistently attack my own obstacles.:cheers:

Greg

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

Simmer down Kim and Cat. :chatter:

What this debate is about, really is the difference between internal and external motivation. You CAN use both, ya know

Discipline.... I guess what this means to me is staying motivated and getting the work done even during the tough times. Some tools in the toolbag:

• Vision Board for motivation - a reminder about my... well.... vision!
• Setting Goals
• Accountability (yes, Cat. it helps) Working with others can create a synergy and allow each of you to get more done then you would on your own. Also, others can often provide you the insight about your own habits/weaknesses that you may not see on your own. Tough love helps at times!
• Understanding my priorities
• Planning my day according to principles taught by Steven Covey (7 Habits and First Things First... reading that one now)
• R and R to recharge

Here is something else that relates to the topic - but I'm not exactly sure how...

The best reason to be in the fastlane is freedom of choice. Here is a quick little story.

There are a few elements of our life that lead to some challanges.

My husband's office is at home
My office is at home
Our life is filled with "projects" rather than "jobs"
We homeschool our kids

What this means is that it is easy to fall into a life of little structure, where multi-tasking rules the day and if not careful, it is easy spend our time reacting rather than being proactive. Lately, this has been the case. Time for a tune-up.

We made a list of all our "jobs and responsibilities." Then, we evaluated each activity, asking if it is an essential one. We then each put an initial next to the "jobs and responsibilities" we enjoy.

Anything remaining on the list - without an initial will be delegated to others.

Fastlane means choice. Choice means delegate the tasks you don't enjoy!

Enjoy! :coffee:

 

[PaulRobert]

What kinds of practical things have you done to become successfully productive?

Does it make a difference to plan your day or not? Have you struggled with planning your day and then when it came to follow through other things found a way to “become more or just as important” than what you planned?

How have you achieved the ability to remain focused and not go down rabbit trails looking at “good” ideas? How did you overcome fear, for example, the fear of calling prospects etc.?

How did you make the things you needed to do “bite sized”?



If you have had success in becoming more disciplined and/or overcoming obstacles, please share your experience.

Practical things that I have done to become successfully productive are-

1. Like many people on this thread- Create a weekly to-do list.
2. Living by this motto- "What you have to do tomorrow, do today, and what you have to eat today, eat tomorrow."

It makes a total difference to plan your day/week. When creating a to-do list you are working on your organization skills, which is very important in life.

Over this past year, I have followed many rabbit trails in search of ideas, many times these were just forced ideas that did not make any sense or where already on the market. I learned that you cannot force an idea to work for you. You must be patient and observant of your surroundings and find the problem that people reveal in conversations or actions. I also learned to Keep It Simple Stupid.

I overcame fear by remembering a few threads from here stating "What's the worst that can happen? Someone just says No."

I made things that I needed to do more bite sized by taking it one day at a time. I found myself many times worrying about future things that did not relate to the present yet.

I have overcome some obstacles in my life that maybe worth sharing. I learned that the less you think about fear, the better your work is.

I also learned that if you want something in life, you must do something or it will always stay a dream or thought. As I am taking action I see my dreams becoming realer everyday.

 

[CRBFL]

Plan and write goals, those two alone will do a world of good.

 

[kimberland]

I have a daily to-do list also.
I keep it to the absolute must-do's
(though I have another list for everything).
I might let it slide from day to day
but at the end of the week,
everything has to be done
or no play time for Kimber.

 

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[Allthingznew]

I follow a to-do list. I go after the top priority for the day. I work on getting at least one activity off the list.

What I've noticed is that I have to do the top 1 priority before anything else.... for example, complete that activity before reading my email, or the news. Why? Cause that is how I get distracted. I am working to change my mindset to be a single-tasker instead of a multi-tasker.

During working on this activity, do not pick up the phone, read emails, open a new browser, etc etc etc.... do not get distracted until you are done. That's been my focus lately.

I struggle a lot with those activities that I do not want to do (the last one was filing an appeal to my health insurance.. I was really avoiding it until I had to slap my self and did it). But hey, it is top 1 in the list... it MUST be done.

Yes, this is what I'm talking about. The struggle over the task you want to avoid for whatever reason requires discipline and how you do it. Good input.

 

[Allthingznew]

I have a daily to-do list also.
I keep it to the absolute must-do's
(though I have another list for everything).
I might let it slide from day to day
but at the end of the week,
everything has to be done
or no play time for Kimber.

How are you with actually not allowing yourself play time? Or what do you do to ensure you don't play when all your friends are playing outside? And what if you get to the end of the week and something you put off needs to be done on a week day and it's now the weekend?

 

[andviv]

I also make myself accountable.
For example:
I'll tell the hubby
I want to do this and this and this today.
At the end of the day,
I know he'll ask about it.

This is key. Having somebody asking you for what is pending will make a world's difference. Even better, knowing for sure you will be asked about it, you will be alert to it and will try harder to make it happen. This is one of the success 'secrets' from support groups and personal trainers... they don't make things for you, they make you accountable. If you are on a diet and nobody to report to then you won't care the same as if you have to answer to your personal trainer or partner about the extra pound you shouldn't have gain during last weekend.

Start simple... make a simple list and then work on scratching at least one off per day. Make the items in the list really simple (send email to George about the offer for a property; take clothe to laundry; call realtor Joe to find rentals in the area; etc etc).

 

[Cat Man Du]

This is key. Having somebody asking you for what is pending will make a world's difference. Even better, knowing for sure you will be asked about it, you will be alert to it and will try harder to make it happen. This is one of the success 'secrets' from support groups and personal trainers... they don't make things for you, they make you accountable. If you are on a diet and nobody to report to then you won't care the same as if you have to answer to your personal trainer or partner about the extra pound you shouldn't have gain during last weekend.

Come - on guys. Are you going to tell me that you must be accountable to someone in order to have the conviction to follow through on a goal. You don't have what it takes in and of yourself?
:boxing_smiley:

 

[Allthingznew]

Thanks Andviv and Kimberland you have brought out great points. Prioritizing your task list and accountability.

Have you (or anyone can weigh in) overcome any fears or maybe you just have tips on pushing past them regularly?

 

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[kimberland]

Come - on guys. Are you going to tell me that you must be accountable to someone in order to have the conviction to follow through on a goal. You don't have what it takes in and of yourself?
:boxing_smiley:

Goals written down or told to others have better odds of being accomplished.
Why would I NOT use this tool to help me?
I find it easier working with human nature.

As for fears... well, of course, everyone has them.
I get sick to my stomach before making presentations
or sales pitches.
(My solution is... I don't eat before them).

Ya gotta understand the emotion.
Fear is a caution, not a stop.

An entrepreneur once told me that if you're not a bit scared,
you're playing it too safe.

 

[Cat Man Du]

Goals written down do help you to focus on the priorities at hand - That has nothing to do with making yourself accountable to another person in order to give you the impetus needed to complete a task and reach a goal. Lets ask SteveO - MJ - Rus - Diane and some of the other Successes that post here and see how many of them had to use accountability in order to acheive. I'll bet not many!

 

[andviv]

Well, I do know that I don't have it easily to concentrate in just one thing. The 'multi-tasking' concept was introduced to me at an early age. The concept of 'single-tasking' (i.e. FOCUS) was not. I've found that this type of accountability works for me, so I use it. Maybe I am not good enough, or not as good as others that can do this naturally, but I've found a tool that helps me accomplish what I have to do, and I use it. Truth be told, there are many many things I don't 'want' to do although I have to, so that is when I make use of it.

Interesting to see what others do and how they overcome the challenge of accomplishing 'that' task they don't want to do but it is needed.

 

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[Allthingznew]

On your comment about Cat Man Du's comments, fair enough. Ok.

I think this comes from facing situations that make you uncomfortable and/or make you face one of your inner fears (public speaking, talking to somebody with more authority, fear of failure, etc etc)

Thank you.

I think you're verbalizing something here that I haven't brought out and is maybe more of the underlying idea. Worth further discussion.

 

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[kimberland]

Goals written down do help you to focus on the priorities at hand - That has nothing to do with making yourself accountable to another person in order to give you the impetus needed to complete a task and reach a goal. Lets ask SteveO - MJ - Rus - Diane and some of the other Successes that post here and see how many of them had to use accountability in order to acheive. I'll bet not many!

I'd be surprised if they were not held accountable to someone.
Anytime you require help with your goals,
that person giving the help should be keeping you accountable.

If I borrow money based on a sales projection
and the sales don't happen,
the lender SHOULD call me on it
(at least they should come renewal time).

If I have a business partner
and I don't make my goals for the quarter,
they should ask why.

That sort of thing.
So what I'm doing is partnering with the hubby
because... well... he's my partner.
LOL

 

[kimberland]

Cat Man Du

I know I, and many others on this forum, appreciate the input that Kimberland and Andviv give, as evidenced by their speed scores. Please do not belittle and/or argue with them in this thread.

Allthingznew, I appreciate the defence.
It is okay though.
I didn't get where I am by having a thin skin
(or by caving to peer pressure,
illustrated by still resisting investment real estate
despite Russ' great sales attempts).

BTW... I think there should be a button for subtracting speed.
A bit fast for this slow lane investor.

 

[Cat Man Du]

I know I, and many others on this forum, appreciate the input that Kimberland and Andviv give, as evidenced by their speed scores. Please do not belittle and/or argue with them in this thread.

Of course I agree that they add alot to this forum and it is not my attention to belittle anyone. Kimberland - When you first started with your ideas - Did you make your self accountable to anyone? I don't mean your hubby because that is really being accountable to yourself as the 2 are 1. My wife is a business partner as well as partner for life - We discuss everything. I'm addressing the current GURU "mentors" Coaches that use accountability as the means to an end. The slow lanes will not move in and of themselves - If that what it takes to move you - you will never move out of the middle or slow lane.

 

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[kimberland]

Kimberland - When you first started with your ideas - Did you make your self accountable to anyone? I don't mean your hubby because that is really being accountable to yourself as the 2 are 1. My wife is a business partner as well as partner for life - We discuss everything. I'm addressing the current GURU "mentors" Coaches that use accountability as the means to an end. The slow lanes will not move in and of themselves - If that what it takes to move you - you will never move out of the middle or slow lane.

I've always used mentors.
Not the ones that get paid,
the ones that volunteer because they want to give back.

A good mentor keeps their proteges accountable.
A protege wanting to keep a good mentor has to show progress
or the mentor feels their valuable time is being wasted.

I know what you're getting at...
am I self driven?
Of course.
I was the gal in class doing extra credit projects "for fun."
(Driving my teachers crazy because I insisted on feedback,
adding to their workload).
But even I need a push now and then.

As for the hubby and I being as 1...
LOL
I'll mention that to the hubby tonight.
He'll get a kick out of that.
We have very different yet complimentary styles.

 

[Cat Man Du]

A good mentor keeps their proteges accountable.
A protege wanting to keep a good mentor has to show progress
or the mentor feels their valuable time is being waste

But even I need a push now and then.

As for the hubby and I being as 1...
LOL
I'll mention that to the hubby tonight.
He'll get a kick out of that.
We have very different yet complimentary styles.[/quote]

OK. A good mentor will give feed-back and will make you accountable to some extent, but why do you need this? I get the feeling that you need someone to pat you on the head and say Good Girl. Don't get me wrong Kim - I read your story and you are one of my heroes - You have overcome a lot. We still need to hear from - SteveO - MJ - Russ - Diane how many of them had accountability in the beginning? Did they motivate themselves? My position is that if you are not motivated from within you will never attain the goals that you set for yourself. Also, I would like to hear from others what ignited the spark within to hit the fastlane.

 

[Yankees338]

Great topic Allthingznew. Speed +++...

Lots of great responses here. Thanks for sharing.

I definitely agree with the comment that most tasks feel so easy once they are done. I experience this every day with my homework for school. I always procrastinate. I put my homework off until at least 10 PM every night, and then when I finally start, I get it done 1-2-3.

It's more of a mental thing than anything else. It's not quite fear. Fear is just an excuse. At least that's how it is for me. Regardless, it just makes the end result feel that much more rewarding.

Great topic. Keep sharing. This is definitely something I struggle with.

 

[mglshark]

I and my wife both lost our dads at age 8 - we wonder how life would be different if they live. Will never know, that how life is. Getting control of your own life is hard and ongoing, most people never even think of it. The most successful people I know are like robots in getting things done, nothing else (IQ, good looks, charm, money, etc.)

Patience and dogged determinism goes a long way. Life is 90% mental all the time unless you are salaried, unmotivated and don't take any risks.

Being held accountable for me is key - either my teachers, mentors, spouse, my boy who ever hold me to my promises. My wife is no-nonsense "tough love" type when I want some hand holding over the bumps of life. A mentor or teacher can do the same as well as open your eyes to other options.

In the classroom some role models for kids may help or playing the cash flow game (which my kid loves!) can open dialog and teaching. But public school system teaching kids how to work in a factory job setting I just don't see how a teacher can do any different, except to be there for a troubled kid. Staying in school (even a bad one) is still better then the streets for kids, overall. Tough job!


mglshark

 

[Cat Man Du]

So tell me, Cat Man Du, why do you NOT use this trick?

I guess that I don't have the need to use this "trick" because I am too much of a rebel myself. My motivation in shooting for the fast lane was: I didn't want other people telling me what to do - how to do it, etc. Also, I have found that the people that do use this "trick" are never able to live up to the accountability, because it is something from the outside in - not from the inside out. You can only achieve what you have inside yourself not what others expect of you - even if you place yourself in that position. I'm glad that you have found that it helps you. To me, the reason for this forum is to stretch yourself - to discover things about yourself that you may have otherwise not known. I think that you can do it on your own - Why not try it? Cat