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Corporate world shuts the door on me forever

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learnforlife

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Nov 9, 2014
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I'm a senior college student and one semester away from graduation. I go to a brand-name business school, have pretty good GPA, executive leader in student organizations, have quite a bit intern experience. All of these give me a beautiful resume, so I was able to line up a full time job in a fortune 500 company in my early senior year.

I felt like the luckiest person among my friends and classmates when I got the offer for my dream job. My family and friends were proud of me, and I felt pretty good about myself too. I thought my future was secured and had no more to worry about. I just need to wait until graduate to climb the career ladder, and enjoy my upper middle class life style. That was the path I chose for my life like most people do, and everything I wanted seems to be so close and easy.

Until three months ago, I was finally out of luck. I got arrested for DUI after pulling out from a bar. Feel free to judge me, I deserve all the judgement. I'm just a social drinker, but I did make this stupid mistake so I need to face the huge consequence. Yes, the company took the job offer back because I did't pass the employment background check that was conducted 1 month after the arrest. Such a roller coaster ride! last minute I was so proud of myself, but now I'm a loser!

I pretty much get the dead sentence for my future job searching. Sometime I can almost see myself working in a small restaurant as a server or delivery driver after I graduate. ha! delivery job may be off of the list now. I started to endlessly blame on myself, and have so much doubt. I completely lost my confidence and ego. I stopped seeing the girl I like, and isolate myself from my friends. having weird dreams every night and don't want to wake up in the morning.

After living like a trash for a while, I decided that I need to get my life back. It's so hard when you try to fight your own belief. I tell myself everyday that I could either let this trouble ruin my entire life, or learn from it and become a better person. It is a easy choice but I still can't help to blame myself from time to time. I don't know what else I can do for living beside a corporate job. It is probably because of the brain wash from business school, all we learn is how to become a good manager in a corporate world kinda thing. I don't see myself being a entrepreneur in a creative way and I've rarely thought about that before. The only thing I did has something to do with entrepreneurship was used car flipping. Couple years ago I got a connection with a used car dealer. By paying a fee on each car, I was able to get cars from auction and resell under the dealer's name. I did end up making some cash and brought my girlfriend on a vocation. This business was not completely legal though since I was not fully licensed. I stopped doing that right after the vocation.

I want to be an entrepreneur. I have nothing to lose now. As a highly driven person, now I'm even more motivated to succeed due to my situation. However, I have no clue where to start and where I'm going. Need some inspiration and motivation! So I have been reading many autobiographies of entrepreneurs and watching interviews. I came across this forum and have learnt a lot from the posts. Specifically, I'm greatly inspired and motivated by TMF . Such a great book!

Really enjoy this community! I'm here looking for some advice because I know every piece of advice will help me get back to the right path of my life. I'm going to subscribe Fastlane insider after I done typing here, I believe I would learn a lot more in there too, and hopefully I can get someone mentored me some day.

Thank you for spending time reading this post! GoodLuck!
 
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Mr.B

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We all make silly choices @learnforlife, but you can come back from this.

I suspect this may be a blessing in disguise. Seriously, corporate sucks.

Dive in to the information shared here, think big, and make something awesome happen.
 

Draven Grey

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If I were in your position, after reading TMF , I would read Smartcuts next. It's a quick lesson in lateral thinking, and will get your mind rolling for what you can do within the fastlane paradigm. Lots of great and inspiring stories in there. There are, of course, a lot of other books your could read. But that one is short, inspiring, and will get you taking action soon. After that, there are a ton of books you'll want to read WHILE you take action that will inspire you further in your chosen direction.

If you were one of the bands that I coach, I would tell you to really nail down your core values, how those values are lived out, and your hedgehog concept -- look it up, but remember that the "passion" part of it has nothing to do with interests, but rather is about what drives you, no matter what interests you use as tools to express that drive. Then, I would tell you to identify your ideal fan.

Here's how I teach to do that:
  • Who do you love, not just like but love, to be around or hang out with within our target market? Name a few people.
  • Who else do we know that might fit your ideal fan?
  • What do they like to do? Not just hobbies, but also what types of things do they like to do in their spare time?
  • What do they talk about?
  • Who do they surround themselves with? Or rather, who do they like to hang out with?
  • Common characteristics?
  • What ethical standards do they follow?
  • How do they contribute to society?
  • The three biggest and most critical problems they want to get away from:
  • The three biggest and most critical Compelling Desires (why they seek us out - dreams/goals/emotions they're moving towards):
  • What/who do they avoid?
  • Where do they go/hang out locally?
  • Where do they go/hang out online?
  • Other resources and websites they love:
  • Types of people to stay away from/not waste our time with:
Once you know who you are at your core and your ideal fan, it will be much easier for you to identify needs that you can confidently solve, and the world will open up to you for all the possibilities even outside your current skill set. That's when you'll start to think of a lot of possible businesses that fit firmly within the CENTS rules from TMF .

And since you know your ideal fan, you'll be able to Lean Canvas your ideas and test them directly on your ideal fan easily, letting them tell you exactly what they want, what to adjust about your idea, and how to sell them on it.

Granted, this isn't the only way to do this stuff, but I find that most musicians I work with are in very much the same mindset you seem to be right now, and this really gets them moving and adding tons of value. It also steers them away from wasting their time on what all the other failing or unsuccessful musicians are doing -- which is a pretty popular way of doing things in the music industry. Hell, most small businesses even copy each others' unsuccessful practices in the name of "that's just how it's done".
 
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integrity

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Hey man, sorry to hear about what happened.

But like you already seem to have figured out, there's no use feeling sorry for yourself.

Actually, you should be thankful it was only a DUI and you didn't hit or (even worse) hurt someone else while driving under the influence.

Hopefully you've learned your lesson and will apply yourself to turn the consequences of that bad decision into something positive. Like @Mr.B said, this could end up being a blessing in disguise for you. Keep us updated.
 

Mr.B

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Actually, you should be thankful it was only a DUI and you didn't hit or (even worse) hurt someone else while driving under the influence.

That is a really good point @integrity. I once thanked a police officer after he booked me for speeding. He was puzzled by my response, but I'd much rather get a ticket and a chance to reevaluate my choices than be in an accident as a result of them.

@learnforlife I've made some really stupid choices in my life and there have been numerous times where I couldn't imagine how I could possibly live another day, let alone ever be happy again.

Welcome to life. It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

Focus on being the best version of you that you can.

Get your head right.

You'll come back from this stronger than you've ever been.
 

Mr.B

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learnforlife

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My concern for you is that you are doing this because you no longer have the cushy job option... Not a very good premise to start on IMO.
You're absolutely right, but I'm not rushing to start a business or anything right now. I just want to add one more lane in my life, getting ready for more possibilities. That is why I'm seeking advice and reading books. I can't just not do anything and live in the fear for the future.
 

RazorCut

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Great advice from @Draven Grey. (Is that the Shane Snow book you are referring to? Draven?)

You will continue to beat yourself up until you forgive yourself and that will only happen after time and success have come your way. However you might like to read this thread:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...you-fix-your-mind-anything-is-possible.56290/ It might help in the shorter term.

Here is something else to chew on. It is a cliché but....

vQ0JsTm.jpg
 
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RazorCut

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Great Links @Mr.B You posted before I refreshed my page.
 

Vigilante

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@MJ DeMarco you are going to want to watch this thread as it has the feel of legendary all over it... From a smart OP at the start of an epic journey to some already gold advice.
 

Digamma

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Mater artium necessitas. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Look, you made something stupid, really stupid. Now you gotta pay the consequences.
But god, you're lucky if this is your rock bottom.

All that really matters is where you end up to.
So, all you can do is to keep your head up and find another way to reach your goals.
 

tminch55

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Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get moving. One incident in your life does not whipe away the fact that you are an intelligent person who is going to thrive.
 

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smarty

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After living like a trash for a while, I decided that I need to get my life back. It's so hard when you try to fight your own belief. I tell myself everyday that I could either let this trouble ruin my entire life, or learn from it and become a better person. It is a easy choice but I still can't help to blame myself from time to time.

Read "The Flinch" http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0062Q7S3S/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20 it
or PDF: http://raouldify.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/2011_1203-the-flinch.pdf

will re-ignite the fire under your @$$ :p
After the incident, you started "flinching".
It is a short read but such a great one, it's dangerous! I have read it 2 times and will read again this week.
 
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Mr.B

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The difference between you and probably several others here, you got caught. Get over it.

Absolutely. I'll also add that it's a good opportunity for you to learn how even the smallest of treasonous choices can really mess things up.

This is a lesson we all needed (or in some cases need) to learn and it's better that you have a chance to figure it out while you are young and can easily bounce back.
 

dreaminBIG

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I'd like to share my life experiences with you in hopes you will learn and benefit from my many F-ups (please listen):

REFUSE TO LET THIS DEFINE YOU. I'm not proud of my past, but you need to hear this. I've been arrested 3 times for underage drinking and came VERY close to a DUI my first go-round. I am now many years older than 21 (without any further shenanigans) and looking back, I doubt I would have been arrested a second or third time if I didn't let the trouble I got in define me. My parents disowned me, my good friends started to distance themselves from me, my grandparents were "disappointed," my girlfriend (who I snuck out that night to meet at the party) broke up with me, and my boss somehow found out and did not trust me to close shop anymore. I definitely know what it feels like to have your whole world around you collapse due to a simple mistake. My biggest mistake was assuming the identity of the person I was being treated as. Yeah, we may have deserved what we got, but please, learn and move on. QUICKLY. Refuse to fester in a stagnant lifestyle that will only get you in further trouble.

I don't remember where I saw this and please correct me if the stat is wrong, but something like 35% percent of people who get a DUI are repeat offenders. Learn your lesson, improve yourself daily, and move the F on. You will find plenty of amazing and fulfilling opportunity in this life. Oh, and F a corporate ladder bro.

Signed,

"Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side."
 

RazorCut

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Thank you. And yes, Shane Snow's book. I read it at the same time as TMF , and they fit so well together that I still keep getting them mixed up in my head.

Thanks I'll add it to my read list.
 

RazorCut

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My biggest mistake was assuming the identity of the person I was being treated as. Yeah, we may have deserved what we got, but please, learn and move on. QUICKLY. Refuse to fester in a stagnant lifestyle that will only get you in further trouble.

Extremely wise words. rep+
 
G

GuestUser112

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Until three months ago, I was finally out of luck. I got arrested for DUI after pulling out from a bar. Feel free to judge me, I deserve all the judgement. I'm just a social drinker, but I did make this stupid mistake so I need to face the huge consequence. Yes, the company took the job offer back because I did't pass the employment background check that was conducted 1 month after the arrest. Such a roller coaster ride! last minute I was so proud of myself, but now I'm a loser!!

This happened to me a little over a year ago, and I'm still feeling the effects. Except that I was a really, really bad drinker. After my DUI, my girlfriend (who I wanted to marry) left me, and I sank into a deep depression. Then I moved in with a friend in a new city to get back on my feet - I quit drinking, drugs, etc. But then things didn't work out (he had a girlfriend, she had a kid, I was kinda in the way), and I ended up living in a homeless shelter for a few months. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd and fell back into an even worse place than I was before. Criminal record included. It's actually only been about 4 -5 months since I got away from it all, and I'm still on probation for completely idiotic bullshit because I got sucked into the poverty mentality. Which is pretty f*cked up, btw, if you haven't (hopefully) spent any time on the streets.

That doesn't have to be you though. Actually it sounds like you're doing very well all things considered. Like DreaminBig said: REFUSE TO LET THIS DEFINE YOU. If you define yourself as a loser, as I did, you will behave like one. This generally involves a lot of self-pity (never a good attribute) and making excuses for consuming instead of producing. Trust me, I know.

Forge a future with a daily plan. And get a shitty job, just to keep the motivation going (if you need it). I still have a shitty job because I'm uncomfortable about my cash-flow situation. You wanna talk about motivation? How about accidentally sticking your hand in a deep-fryer trying to catch a rogue chicken wing at a job that pays $11.00 per hour. That's my life right now bro. I could have made way better decisions between then and now. DON'T get caught in a downward spiral. Don't even let yourself feel like a loser for one second. It shouldn't have taken me as long as it did.

Hell, you'll be fine. Keep your chin up.
 
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BlakeIC

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We all make silly choices @learnforlife, but you can come back from this.

I suspect this may be a blessing in disguise. Seriously, corporate sucks.

Dive in to the information shared here, think big, and make something awesome happen.
this,
it is nice to see you are slowly opening your mind too op
 

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