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Conversations over the Holiday...

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Scot

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I was hanging out with my cousin-in-law (is that a real word) at an Easter bbq yesterday and we were talking about work. He said the phrase..

"But at least we have jobs, and we've got to be thankful for that"

It took all of my self control to keep myself from walking to my car, grabbing my copy of Unscripted and hitting him in the face with it.
 
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lowtek

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I was hanging out with my cousin-in-law (is that a real word) at an Easter bbq yesterday and we were talking about work. He said the phrase..

"But at least we have jobs, and we've got to be thankful for that"

It took all of my self control to keep myself from walking to my car, grabbing my copy of Unscripted and hitting him in the face with it.

My fellow Intel employees would say that when the CEO was systematically reducing their compensation (profit sharing), quarter after quarter, as the company continued to pile on record profits.

"well... at least we have jobs."

What revolting boot licking. Of course the company doesn't have an obligation to share shit, but if they advertise it as a perk of working there, and used it as part of their pitch to get you to give them 24/7 work... they damn well better honor it.
 

G-Man

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I was hanging out with my cousin-in-law (is that a real word) at an Easter bbq yesterday and we were talking about work. He said the phrase..

"But at least we have jobs, and we've got to be thankful for that"

It took all of my self control to keep myself from walking to my car, grabbing my copy of Unscripted and hitting him in the face with it.

Also spent yesterday at an Easter BBQ. I always get pats on the back at these family gatherings, because apparently, being stable enough to provide for your family at age 30 almost makes you a unicorn these days. I'll leave my social commentary for how pathetically low the bar has sunk for another day, but I had to keep reminding myself: "These people are genuinely proud of me and mean well, but they are part of the mechanism that scripted me to go down a path I didn't choose for myself, and makes me kinda motherfucking miserable"
 

Yoda

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Over the weekend, I, too, had the chance to oversee the conversations with family, where careers and occupations inevitably came up. This was the hardest to hear:

"Well, I used a calculator to see how much I would need at retirement to keep my lifestyle, and it's over $4M. I'm either going to have to live low forever, or just keep working."​

For someone spending $160,000 per year (estimated by reversing the income with a 4% draw rule), that's a very, very sad and regret-filled comment. It's even worse knowing this person will not change their lifestyle for the next 7-10 years, despite knowing the outcome.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Interesting conversations here over Easter, eh?

Hope no one minds, I moved them out of the UNSCRIPTED book thread into its own thread. These stories could probably take on a life of their own...

I found it interesting that G0OG1E neglected to change their home page with any Easter doodles. And yet, they have no problem changing it for the birthday's of radical extremists. Guess the Christian holiday doesn't fit their SJW narrative. As a consumer, I no longer use the mega-tech company that claims "don't be evil" ... DuckDuckGo everyone.

Carry on...
 

Scot

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Over the weekend, I, too, had the chance to oversee the conversations with family, where careers and occupations inevitably came up. This was the hardest to hear:

"Well, I used a calculator to see how much I would need at retirement to keep my lifestyle, and it's over $4M. I'm either going to have to live low forever, or just keep working."​

For someone spending $160,000 per year (estimated by reversing the income with a 4% draw rule), that's a very, very sad and regret-filled comment. It's even worse knowing this person will not change their lifestyle for the next 7-10 years, despite knowing the outcome.

It's funny because the other day I accidentally found my 401k account (needed to accept my measly stock grants) and was excited to see almost $40k in there. I had a slowlane regression.

I thought to myself, man I bet I have more saved up than most people my age. But then I snappedout of it. Because, seriously, assuming that $40k plus 6% for the next 35 years will actually do ANYTHING or be worth anything by the time I'm 65 is laughable.


So instead I kicked in my Fastlane brain and realized I had a low interest $20,000 loan available for my new business
 
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Yoda

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I had a slowlane regression.

I was also extremely sad to hear how family members were going to be using their "refunds" this year.

Vacations, cars, home theater, something something darkside.

"Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?"
I know each and every one of them has debt.

Same mentality, really. Just sad.
 

JWelch

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My Easter holiday consisted of no conversations because my corporate job that we work a 12 hour rotation at decided to tell me on Thursday that I was being "forced" to work on Sunday and they were giving everyone Good Friday off. There were literally 4 people in the shop working Sunday from 6am to 6pm. I was one of them. Another thing is that a different guy actually volunteered to work that day in my place and they refused because he would be making double time. So instead they told me that I needed to work. Talk about eating the "D" sandwich. I literally almost quit my job on Thursday because I was so pissed, BUT I've got an exit plan already in place so instead of walking out prematurely I decided to suck it up this time and go out my way in a few months, can't wait. Working for corporate america is a horrible experience!
 

G-Man

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I was also extremely sad to hear how family members were going to be using their "refunds" this year.

I don't understand, either. Most people look at it as "free money".... It just makes my blood boil when I get mine. I'm sitting there thinking: "If you're gonna extort me all year, then make me do the work to fill out a return to get the "refund", you could at least have the F*cking decency to give it back with a year's worth of interest."

For someone spending $160,000 per year (estimated by reversing the income with a 4% draw rule), that's a very, very sad and regret-filled comment. It's even worse knowing this person will not change their lifestyle for the next 7-10 years, despite knowing the outcome.

What's crazy is being at a family gathering and seeing different people from different parts of the country that have different incomes, different houses, different cars, yet all still somehow have a family balance sheet with negative equity.

EDIT: Before I participate in this turning into a "let's bag on other people" bitchfest, Have any of you had positive experiences trying to open family members' eyes to other possibilties?
 
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JWelch

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Have any of you had positive experiences trying to open family members' eyes to other possibilties?
No, not family members for sure. I grew up basically loooooow middle class and they are sidewalkers with a capital "S". I talk fastlane and they look at me like I've got lobsters crawling out of my ears.

Work on the other hand I do have two people who have also read "the book" at my referral and have begun the corporate exodus process as well.
 

JordanK

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Have any of you had positive experiences trying to open family members' eyes to other possibilties?

Maybe not the answer you are looking for but I would consider myself converted to the Fastlane by a family member. Over ten years ago my father quit his job working for a major bank here in Ireland after 28 years of "service". He went on to accumulate a lot of property and then lost most of it in the 07/08 crash but he's still self employed running a B2B health product sales company. It definitely opened up my eyes to the Fastlane from the age of six to about fourteen traveling to different places around the world and vacationing while also watching him doing business. I learned as much from age fourteen to now though, when it all came crashing down and life turned into a struggle. I guess I was just at the right age to witness both sides of things and I'm not even twenty.

I found this forum because he read MJ's book on a recommendation from a business friend then passed it onto me.
 

TKDTyler

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I don't understand, either. Most people look at it as "free money".... It just makes my blood boil when I get mine. I'm sitting there thinking: "If you're gonna extort me all year, then make me do the work to fill out a return to get the "refund", you could at least have the F*cking decency to give it back with a year's worth of interest."
And then on top of it, they will tax whatever you decided to spend your money on.

I have slivers depression when I see ~50% of my money spent on taxes...

I also learned that if you are only in the US for ~30 days in a 365 day period, you are tax exempt... Gets a man thinking...
 
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GuitarManDan

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It's really incredible after reading TMF how many things my mind is tuned into now. The Holiday dinner table was a pissing match of which family member with a job was reducing their expenses the most, as if that will really make an impact (I haven't gone out to dinner in 2 years, I buy dollar slice pizza a few times a week for lunch, I don't buy chips with my sandwiches, etc).

The whole time I just kept thinking "why wouldn't you try to control the amount of money you make instead of reducing your expenses?" but people don't like that because it threatens their perception of how the world works.
 

AllenCrawley

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Interesting conversations here over Easter, eh?

Hope no one minds, I moved them out of the UNSCRIPTED book thread into its own thread. These stories could probably take on a life of their own...

I found it interesting that G0OG1E neglected to change their home page with any Easter doodles. And yet, they have no problem changing it for the birthday's of radical extremists. Guess the Christian holiday doesn't fit their SJW narrative. As a consumer, I no longer use the mega-tech company that claims "don't be evil" ... DuckDuckGo everyone.

Carry on...
Nothing to see here folks. Move along. :clap::
 

SteveO

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For some reason, I don't really get into these types of conversations too often. I have learned over the years to say nothing. As a result, I just tune out. Can't change everyone. For that matter, it is difficult to change anyone.

My sister latched onto me years ago and said that she wanted to do what I am doing. We worked on a couple projects together. She struck out on her own and is doing well.

Lots of people have said that they want to do stuff and ask for advice though. It becomes real obvious that we are all wasting our time when their eyes glaze over.
 
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MidwestLandlord

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EDIT: Before I participate in this turning into a "let's bag on other people" bitchfest, Have any of you had positive experiences trying to open family members' eyes to other possibilties?

Yes.

I have watched one of my sisters, my parents', and my nieces' views on money change dramatically since they read TMF

Fastlane? No.

But much better decisions being made regarding money.

One of my nieces has changed her view on college from what her parents wanted, to what SHE wants, and it is one of the best fastlane ideas I've ever seen. And she's just 14 years old. She damn near attacks me with business questions when I see her haha. That girl can smell NEEDS from a mile away. I've learned a lot from her actually.
 

amp0193

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EDIT: Before I participate in this turning into a "let's bag on other people" bitchfest, Have any of you had positive experiences trying to open family members' eyes to other possibilties?

Yes.

I have very good relationships with my immediate family.

My sister graduated without a plan, with a useless degree, with mountains of debt from UT. By my example, she read some books/blogs I followed (including TMF ) and she paid off all that debt in 2 years being in the air force. She is toeing the line of getting into business, she'll jump in soon enough.

Parents are successful slowlaners, but I'm inspiring each of them with my location independent, time independent business. One or both of them want to start some business in a couple years (after retirement), and travel. My mom just paid off her mortgage after 30 years (i'm happy for her), but her eyes were opened when I told her I might pay cash for a house in the next year.

Still working on the brother. He does full-time Mission work on a college campus... but if he sees the light and starts a biz on the side, he would have the freedom to be a missionary anywhere, and for more than a couple weeks at a time.

All of them are super excited for my next business, and are cheering me on. No more "words of caution" from my mom. Those stopped after I quit my job and my family was just fine.
 

AgainstAllOdds

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And then on top of it, they will tax whatever you decided to spend your money on.

I have slivers depression when I see ~50% of my money spent on taxes...

I also learned that if you are only in the US for ~30 days in a 365 day period, you are tax exempt... Gets a man thinking...

Do it.

You're exempt from about $101k + Housing Allowance. I'm currently doing this, and honestly am so glad I don't have to pay US taxes next year.

My travels are all subsidized by what I'd pay in taxes.

For some reason, I don't really get into these types of conversations too often. I have learned over the years to say nothing. As a result, I just tune out. Can't change everyone. For that matter, it is difficult to change anyone.

This.

Family will say a lot of stupid stuff. Let them. Sit back. Crack jokes. Enjoy good food. Relax.

Getting in arguments with slowlaners might be the worst way to use your energy.

The funniest is when they ask for advice and then don't even listen.
 
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rollerskates

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We (my enormous family) didn't have any particular fast lane/slow lane discussions over Easter but this did make me think of a few discussions I've had with them. One relative (MBA)--every conversation is about retirement, whose date keeps getting further and further away as they up their lifestyle. It's one thing to live like you've got fast lane money IF YOU'VE GOT IT, but it's another thing entirely to spend it on the newest of everything and finance it and then be dependent on the state of California to come through with promised retirement dollars. I'd rather live free and buy a refurbished Mac (which I just did) and used clothes from nice resale shops and funnel money into what can be fast lane. There is no financial return on the new and the shiny in a slow lane lifestyle. To paraphrase what MJ said in another thread, put your money into what can change your lifestyle.

Another relative (who is a physician) said to me over Christmas "you know, it's surprising, none of us in this generation are particularly successful". And by successful, they mean make a lot of money. Because, dumbass, no one is in business. This is what you get when your family is super educated and are teachers and philosophers and stuff. Granted, everyone likes what they do, and enjoys their jobs, but no one is killing it financially with said jobs. But it's also really important that there are good teachers who like what they do.

I am the only one who ever set out to have my own business. I also make less than all of them right now. :oops:

I hope my post doesn't come across as a bitchfest, it's just different thinking.
 

Millenial_Kid5K1

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I found it interesting that G0OG1E neglected to change their home page with any Easter doodles. And yet, they have no problem changing it for the birthday's of radical extremists. Guess the Christian holiday doesn't fit their SJW narrative. As a consumer, I no longer use the mega-tech company that claims "don't be evil" ... DuckDuckGo everyone.

Carry on...
How strange! I had the same exact realization and conclusion exactly 2 weeks ago. I've been using firefox and duckduckgo since. Sorry for the tangent, carry on.
 

MJ DeMarco

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and was excited to see almost $40k in there. I had a slowlane regression.

Still, you should be proud of yourself. This achievement is reflective of much more, discipline, consistency, persistence...

The whole time I just kept thinking "why wouldn't you try to control the amount of money you make instead of reducing your expenses?" but people don't like that because it threatens their perception of how the world works.

People rationally think that squeezing dimes from nickles is how you get rich. Because the guru selling millions of books said so...
 
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Bellini

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I found it interesting that G0OG1E neglected to change their home page with any Easter doodles. And yet, they have no problem changing it for the birthday's of radical extremists. Guess the Christian holiday doesn't fit their SJW narrative. As a consumer, I no longer use the mega-tech company that claims "don't be evil" ... DuckDuckGo everyone.

Amen.

I started using DuckDuckGo again just recently.

G0OG1E has had their 'king of the hill', eye-in-the-sky monopoly long enough.

Time for a breakup.
 

jsk29

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Interesting conversations here over Easter, eh?

Hope no one minds, I moved them out of the UNSCRIPTED book thread into its own thread. These stories could probably take on a life of their own...

I found it interesting that G0OG1E neglected to change their home page with any Easter doodles. And yet, they have no problem changing it for the birthday's of radical extremists. Guess the Christian holiday doesn't fit their SJW narrative. As a consumer, I no longer use the mega-tech company that claims "don't be evil" ... DuckDuckGo everyone.

Carry on...

BUMP.

If anyone else feels disgusted with the recent Google controversy here are some alternatives I found:
  • Browser: Brave (blocks ads/trackers by default and is faster than popular browsers - founded by Brendan Eich, who is cofounder/ex-CEO of Mozilla and creator of JavaScript)
  • Email: ProtonMail (end-to-end encrypted email based in Switzerland and founded by Dr. Andy Yen, former research at CERN)
  • Search Engine: DuckDuckGo (browser that doesn't track or store your personal info, founded by Gabriel Weinberg)
 

Scot

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BUMP.

If anyone else feels disgusted with the recent Google controversy here are some alternatives I found:
  • Browser: Brave (blocks ads/trackers by default and is faster than popular browsers - founded by Brendan Eich, who is cofounder/ex-CEO of Mozilla and creator of JavaScript)
  • Email: ProtonMail (end-to-end encrypted email based in Switzerland and founded by Dr. Andy Yen, former research at CERN)
  • Search Engine: DuckDuckGo (browser that doesn't track or store your personal info, founded by Gabriel Weinberg)


I'm ok with google tracking people. It's how we serve them ads and retarget them ;)
 
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jsk29

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I'm ok with google tracking people. It's how we serve them ads and retarget them ;)
I'm not ok with google for other reasons but don't want to get into politics. The privacy and speed are added incentives to switch for anyone interested in alternatives.
 

Philip Marlowe

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Read between the lines of that comment about jobs at Easter and you'll likely find the same issues extend to other parts of their life. If they have no control over their worker-bee job, my guess is they might also be overweight/have unhealthy habits, have credit card/auto debt, or other challenges.

So the advice they might best benefit from isn't necessarily "job" or corporate "script" related, although that would be very useful given how central is it, but rather more on habits and general behavior.

Interestingly I think MJ's books cover both of these (I referred to Unscripted as the "complete" work before for a reason) as they touch on the entire ecosystem of the Fastlane, but these folks might also benefit from more fundamental conversations.

So by all means give them Unscripted and it wouldn't be a waste, but the conversation with them might start with things like auditing their daily routine to understand how their time is spent, basic goal setting and accomplishing tasks (read 'One Thing' by Kelller), physical fitness, and even changing their immediate environment with respect to friends/partners, etc.

Love this forum to death, but I think we all have the Fastlane hammer and so see sidewalking nails everywhere to pound.

-PM
 

Olimac21

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I was hanging out with my cousin-in-law (is that a real word) at an Easter bbq yesterday and we were talking about work. He said the phrase..

"But at least we have jobs, and we've got to be thankful for that"

It took all of my self control to keep myself from walking to my car, grabbing my copy of Unscripted and hitting him in the face with it.
Is like saying "Well at least we have Saturday and Sunday to rest" :D
 
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Olimac21

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Read between the lines of that comment about jobs at Easter and you'll likely find the same issues extend to other parts of their life. If they have no control over their worker-bee job, my guess is they might also be overweight/have unhealthy habits, have credit card/auto debt, or other challenges.

So the advice they might best benefit from isn't necessarily "job" or corporate "script" related, although that would be very useful given how central is it, but rather more on habits and general behavior.

Interestingly I think MJ's books cover both of these (I referred to Unscripted as the "complete" work before for a reason) as they touch on the entire ecosystem of the Fastlane, but these folks might also benefit from more fundamental conversations.

So by all means give them Unscripted and it wouldn't be a waste, but the conversation with them might start with things like auditing their daily routine to understand how their time is spent, basic goal setting and accomplishing tasks (read 'One Thing' by Kelller), physical fitness, and even changing their immediate environment with respect to friends/partners, etc.

Love this forum to death, but I think we all have the Fastlane hammer and so see sidewalking nails everywhere to pound.

-PM
I think can MJ emphasizes at the end of the day and which I found similar to what I heard from Scott Adams once, is about building a complete system of actions that will take you where you want instead of fragmented/isolated ones. And also taking the full responsibility of your destiny both in business and life.
 

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