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Control your environment

andyhaus44

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Hi Fastlaners,

My side walking in-laws come over to my house a few times a week to visit my 2 year old boy. I am polite to them, but they have an "I" focus, watch a lot of television, complain too much, talk about drama, etc. Just being around them for more than 15 minutes would make any sane person get irritated. They do like me and we are cordial to one other but they are very dysfunctional.

My wife and I are on the same page that they are sidewalkers, and we have considered moving a few times but we haven't yet. Today when they came over, I decided to start controlling my environment. Instead of listening to side walking comments and depressing commercials, I listened to a success hypnosis with these headphones --
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Bluetooth-Headband-Headphones-TOPOINT-Wireless-Music-Sport-Headbands-Slee/153331822193?epid=21027710577&hash=item23b349ee71:g:QigAAOSw2sxcM4WK

The cool thing is that neither of them said anything. Not to mention, it didn't look like I was being rude or disrespectful -- and I was wearing headphones, listening to a success hypnosis :)

Am active and workout a few days a week, so that was in my favor. Because I controlled my environment, today was the best day I've ever had with them.

If you have to deal with difficult people on a regular basis, always remember that you have a choice. Control your environment.
 

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NMdad

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Indeed. Particularly with family, since they can trigger a lot of emotional stuff, I find it's helpful to mentally prepare before I interact with them. Personally, I use a mantra, taken from Star Trek: "Shields up!" It reminds me not to let their negative mindset & criticism in.
 
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andyhaus44

andyhaus44

Bronze Contributor
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St. Charles, MO
Indeed. Particularly with family, since they can trigger a lot of emotional stuff, I find it's helpful to mentally prepare before I interact with them. Personally, I use a mantra, taken from Star Trek: "Shields up!" It reminds me not to let their negative mindset & criticism in.
That’s a great idea. Thank you For sharing that.

Would love to hear what other fellow forum members do to tune out toxic relatives
 

RazorCut

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Would love to hear what other fellow forum members do to tune out toxic relatives
Toxic people just don't hang out around me (including family). They get to know if I like them or not. If they don't like me I don't care.

I used to have a good friend who I loved dearly. He didn't have a job but was looking. Then, he didn't have a job because he had to look after his children. Then, when they went to live with their mother, he didn't have an excuse nor a job.

Then he was going to start his own business. A friend financed the venture. His contribution was purchasing business cards. He was too lazy to go out there and pass them out though. Happier to sit at home on social security drinking alcohol and watching sport on Sky.

Might sound harsh but he was a toxic waste of space. Haven't seen him in years.
 
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andyhaus44

andyhaus44

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St. Charles, MO
Indeed. Particularly with family, since they can trigger a lot of emotional stuff, I find it's helpful to mentally prepare before I interact with them. Personally, I use a mantra, taken from Star Trek: "Shields up!" It reminds me not to let their negative mindset & criticism in.
Interesting that you mention that - ironically, when I was a kid, one of my favorite says was "Shields" by Batman
Shields.
Now I play that right before I put my headphones on as a mental reminder that I need to shield myself from the toxicity of a sidewalker
 

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