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O/T: HEALTH Constantly stressed out

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Tuvo Apps

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Since starting my journey 8 years ago, I have never had a time where I wouldn't be incredibly stressed out.

I just can't stop thinking about anything else than my business (web design, coding). Even though I have had a few solid successes, I still have to think about how to get new clients, how to deliver, basically how will I make money.

It has absolutely paralyzed my life. For the past 4 years I haven't made any new friends, I see no point in enjoying life,
I even started neglecting basic hygiene - the biggest fire, the raging river in front of me right now is simply to make money, everything else is secondary.

In particular, I need to make enough money to move out of my parents house, so that I could actually start living (feel 'whole', make friends, not stress out all the time, etc.).

I don't want to waste another 8 years and still be at the same spot.

Am I going down the wrong path? Or is this just a part of entrepreneurship?
 

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juresesko

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Since starting my journey 8 years ago, I have never had a time where I wouldn't be incredibly stressed out.
It has absolutely paralyzed my life.
I see no point in enjoying life
Looks more depressed than stressed if you ask me.

People around you give you energy, felling groomed and being in good shape makes you feel good.

So you are saying that you have so much work that you started neglecting basic hygiene.
What do you do?
What does friendship mean to you? People are my friends if they are friendly with me.

Find some professional help the forum can't help you with this.

The problem is in you not in entrepreneurship.
 

sparechange

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Outsource your work, and stop disrespecting the commandment of time.

You are not an entrepreneur, you are not even a business owner, you are a job owner


''I just can't stop thinking about anything else than my business (web design, coding). Even though I have had a few solid successes, I still have to think about how to get new clients, how to deliver, basically how will I make money.''

Ahh, good old chasing money :cool:
 

Gentlegiant

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Ironically, this way of thinking is really slowing down your process. Think about it, why make money if life sucks a$$ anyway? Why get up in the morning and work when you don't have anything to look forward to in life?

As much as making money is important, work time is always more efficient if your life is actually interesting and worth living.

And don't think this is optional, because it's not.

Want it or not, your body needs more than food and water to survive. It needs socialization, hobbies, exercise, exposure to nature, leisure time, things like that. Not doing these won't kill you, of course, but it's damaging your brain (the thing you use to make money and think). It's making it slower, less focused, less motivated, and is preventing you from working to your fullest potential. I can tell it's happening to you right now, because you don't seem happy with your life, and neglecting hygiene is a huge red flag for mental health. And it's going to get worse if you don't fix this mindset.

Don't be mistaken, taking time off and doing something else than working is not a waste of time, it's a time investment. It will make you a better, more intelligent and more focused being, which in turn, will boost your productivity, makes you better at making money, and make the whole process of 'making it' take way less time, and be way more enjoyable. Who wouldn't want that?

To give you an example, take hanging out with people. Waste of time right? Wrong. Not only is it awesome for your mental health and happiness, it also makes you practice your social skills, a crucial thing you need when dealing with clients.

Same with exercise, it makes your "stamina bar" bigger, make your brain produce learning + feel good hormones, and reduces stress and depressive symptoms dramatically. I'll let you guess what that does for your business.

I could list more examples but you get the idea.

I don't blame you for neglecting your life, hustle culture is all around us and it constantly tells us to sleep 4 hours a night and never do anything else than work, work, work. Sadly, it's the worse piece of advice you could follow, and really makes you way less efficient at working. Let me say it one last time: Neglecting mental and physical health in favor of working is hurting your business's progress a lot more than you think. Not just your happiness.

Focus on yourself, and you'll see amazing results for your business and your life.
 

Kevin88660

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Since starting my journey 8 years ago, I have never had a time where I wouldn't be incredibly stressed out.

I just can't stop thinking about anything else than my business (web design, coding). Even though I have had a few solid successes, I still have to think about how to get new clients, how to deliver, basically how will I make money.

It has absolutely paralyzed my life. For the past 4 years I haven't made any new friends, I see no point in enjoying life,
I even started neglecting basic hygiene - the biggest fire, the raging river in front of me right now is simply to make money, everything else is secondary.

In particular, I need to make enough money to move out of my parents house, so that I could actually start living (feel 'whole', make friends, not stress out all the time, etc.).

I don't want to waste another 8 years and still be at the same spot.

Am I going down the wrong path? Or is this just a part of entrepreneurship?
[/QUOTE
Since starting my journey 8 years ago, I have never had a time where I wouldn't be incredibly stressed out.

I just can't stop thinking about anything else than my business (web design, coding). Even though I have had a few solid successes, I still have to think about how to get new clients, how to deliver, basically how will I make money.

It has absolutely paralyzed my life. For the past 4 years I haven't made any new friends, I see no point in enjoying life,
I even started neglecting basic hygiene - the biggest fire, the raging river in front of me right now is simply to make money, everything else is secondary.

In particular, I need to make enough money to move out of my parents house, so that I could actually start living (feel 'whole', make friends, not stress out all the time, etc.).

I don't want to waste another 8 years and still be at the same spot.

Am I going down the wrong path? Or is this just a part of entrepreneurship?
Probably you can give more details on what Really bother you.

Are you making less than what you aspire ? Do you worry about business sustainability?
 

ZCP

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a self fulfilling negativity loop ...... get out of that loop

question:
what would it look like if you starting giving yourself some credit?

be very specific ... what would it look like / sound like / smell like / taste like / be like?
 

RoadTrip

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Don't be mistaken, taking time off and doing something else than working is not a waste of time, it's a time investment. It will make you a better, more intelligent and more focused being, which in turn, will boost your productivity, makes you better at making money, and make the whole process of 'making it' take way less time, and be way more enjoyable. Who wouldn't want that?
This! I followed the same path as you did and it is a downwards spiral which is going to hurt your health. You are going to end up in a burnout. When that happens, your productivity will be zero for at least a year and you will feel like shit every day. STOP what you are doing now and focus on the enjoyment of live.

You are not going to solve your problems continuing like this. But once you see the light and look at your business objectively and from a distance, you will know you have been doing it wrong and figure out the way forward. Do yourself a favour and listen to your body which is giving you all the signals to stop doing what are right now before it’s too late.
 
OP
OP
Tuvo Apps

Tuvo Apps

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Sep 6, 2015
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Thank you for the replies everyone!

So you are saying that you have so much work that you started neglecting basic hygiene.
What do you do?
I don't necessarily have so much work that I don't have time to do the other things.
I would love to have a lot of work! I spend my time figuring out how to get more clients.

It's just that I would feel terrible doing something that doesn't move me forward
- Even if I make friends, enjoy life and take care of myself, I will still be a loser living
with his parents at 23 that was supposed to move out 4 years ago according to his plan.


Outsource your work
I'm going to do that, thank you. How do you outsource getting new clients though?
I feel like that's a skill if someone has, he would start his own business instead.

Why get up in the morning and work when you don't have anything to look forward to in life?
That's the thing, I do have a lot to look forward to. That's the only thing pushing me forward.
I look forward to moving out, to finally feeling "whole", to having friends, to living.

Also that's a part of the reason I don't want to 'live' right now - I'm just not 'ready' yet.
I'm a work in progress - why would I make new friends now, when I can introduce a
much better version of me later? I don't think I can bring enough value to a friendship right now.

I want to be a person that people enjoy being around, tell amazing stories, connect people, organize crazy parties.
I'm just not that right now. With my current few friends I mostly listen, because I have nothing to say.
Also, to my friends I often lie about my achievements to increase my value (I have a house, a car...) which in fact makes me even more stressed out, because I have to check what I'm saying (this forum is in fact the only place in the world where I tell the wole truth).

Are you making less than what you aspire ? Do you worry about business sustainability?
Yes, and yes. I constantly think about if web design can bring me closer to my goal.

In the niche I serve, I'm looking for problems to solve, that I could actually build something
that follows the fastlane commandments.

what would it look like if you starting giving yourself some credit?
I would probably allow myself to relax and take care of myself. I would feel a lot better about myself, and would find it easier talking to people.

So ater writing the above I tried it and it was great! I found a few ideas I could try to get more clients. I'm going to believe more in myself and see where that takes me. Thank you!

stop doing what are right now before it’s too late.
Thank you, your message really made me think about the way I do things. I've decided to spend this week with my old friends I haven't seen in a year in a different city.
I feel terrible giving priority to friends over business, but hopefully it will help me in the long run!


Find some professional help the forum can't help you with this.
I have to admit, I have SO MUCH thoughts inside me (not just business, also insecurity, inferiority complex, anxiety,...), it's making me incredibly stressed. I would LOVE to talk about it with someone.
What kind of professional do you suggest?
 

RoadTrip

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I have to admit, I have SO MUCH thoughts inside me (not just business, also insecurity, inferiority complex, anxiety,...), it's making me incredibly stressed. I would LOVE to talk about it with someone.
What kind of professional do you suggest?
I'll leave the professional help advise up to juresesko. In my opinion you can already start with two actions:
1. Meditation, it is really helpful to get your stress levels down and accept yourself
2. Read this highly recommended book: Mindset by Carol S. Dweck. This should get your self confidence back in order.
 

Kevin88660

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Thank you for the replies everyone!



I don't necessarily have so much work that I don't have time to do the other things.
I would love to have a lot of work! I spend my time figuring out how to get more clients.

It's just that I would feel terrible doing something that doesn't move me forward
- Even if I make friends, enjoy life and take care of myself, I will still be a loser living
with his parents at 23 that was supposed to move out 4 years ago according to his plan.



I'm going to do that, thank you. How do you outsource getting new clients though?
I feel like that's a skill if someone has, he would start his own business instead.


That's the thing, I do have a lot to look forward to. That's the only thing pushing me forward.
I look forward to moving out, to finally feeling "whole", to having friends, to living.

Also that's a part of the reason I don't want to 'live' right now - I'm just not 'ready' yet.
I'm a work in progress - why would I make new friends now, when I can introduce a
much better version of me later? I don't think I can bring enough value to a friendship right now.

I want to be a person that people enjoy being around, tell amazing stories, connect people, organize crazy parties.
I'm just not that right now. With my current few friends I mostly listen, because I have nothing to say.
Also, to my friends I often lie about my achievements to increase my value (I have a house, a car...) which in fact makes me even more stressed out, because I have to check what I'm saying (this forum is in fact the only place in the world where I tell the wole truth).


Yes, and yes. I constantly think about if web design can bring me closer to my goal.

In the niche I serve, I'm looking for problems to solve, that I could actually build something
that follows the fastlane commandments.


I would probably allow myself to relax and take care of myself. I would feel a lot better about myself, and would find it easier talking to people.

So ater writing the above I tried it and it was great! I found a few ideas I could try to get more clients. I'm going to believe more in myself and see where that takes me. Thank you!


Thank you, your message really made me think about the way I do things. I've decided to spend this week with my old friends I haven't seen in a year in a different city.
I feel terrible giving priority to friends over business, but hopefully it will help me in the long run!




I have to admit, I have SO MUCH thoughts inside me (not just business, also insecurity, inferiority complex, anxiety,...), it's making me incredibly stressed. I would LOVE to talk about it with someone.
What kind of professional do you suggest?
Probably you are hustling but you ate worried if you are on the right track.

It would be good if you can share more on the projects that you do so that people who know abt web development can give you some feedback.

We all have different styles and personality. Some would execute on the spot if they have an idea and test the reaction and calibrate as it goes.

I wrote mini bp for myself on an idea or a project After some days of research. Just an A4 size paper. That helps me to deal when I have self-doubt because I can always say to myself “stick to the plan and review after 1/2 months”.
 

juresesko

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I have to admit, I have SO MUCH thoughts inside me (not just business, also insecurity, inferiority complex, anxiety,...), it's making me incredibly stressed. I would LOVE to talk about it with someone.
What kind of professional do you suggest?
If you feel that you can't share this thoughts with you family or your close friends find a psychiatrist.
There is nothing wrong with visiting one of them and telling them what you feel. They are the professionals at this, they know how to respond, they know how to make you open up to yourself. They will help you find the problem and they will help you find the solution for it.

The best thing you can do when bad thoughts start overflowing is to break the circle, do something completely different. Start jumping up and down or rolling on the ground. You will feel silly and thats the point.

I think we all feel the same from time to time but we don't deal with those feeling in the same way.
Some people are punching in the wall and breaking their fingers when they're angry.
Some go on a run or go somewhere isolated to cool down
Some build up this anger inside until it will explode and the next day they wake up in prison.

Just as you chose not to work from 8-5 till the rest of your life, you have to choose how you will react to your thoughts about insecurity, anxiety...
 

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MrTrash757

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Looks more depressed than stressed if you ask me.
100% Depression (could be ADHD too based on later replys, but needs professional diagnosis). OP, take care of yourself.

I'm in the same boat as you, its been a battle for years.

The best piece of advice I can give you-> Find the treatment that works for you. Whether that is therapy, medicatiton, meditation, etc, find the root cause of the issue and nip it in the butt.


Neglecting mental and physical health in favor of working is hurting your business's progress a lot more than you think. Not just your happiness.

Focus on yourself, and you'll see amazing results for your business and your life.
Someone needs to write a book on this... its a topic we really don't talk about in the entrepreneur community.
 

sparechange

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@Tuvo Apps no idea, but sounds like you are disrespecting the commandment of entry aswell.

Time to start a real business?
 

juresesko

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Health should always be on the first place in life in general it doesn't matter if you're rich, poor or getting to riches.
 

PaulNash

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This is not ok. You already have your own business and had success, so why are you so harsh on yourself? This is a neverending issue, that all of us have. I mean not enough money, not enough time and so on. You have to be satisfied with what you have at least a little bit because this is going to keep you depressed all the time. I'm also always want to improve my self and I always want more, but at one point I understood, that this is not healthy for me. What's the point in money if I'm not happy at all? Think about this. Problems will be always, but time to be happy not so much. Tell yourself that you've done great things and you're proud of yourself and leave the anxiety behind.
 

Sid781

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You have to take care of your mind! Absolutely try meditation! I swear by it! and Yoga!
 

juresesko

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What about if you need a different approach.
What about if you're just soft and you need some stiffening up.
Try working in a bar or a restaurant you will get some thick skin there at least I did.
I'm almost never stressed because of experiences I had while working in that industry.
I was in tears while my head chef was yelling at me because I left the omlete inside the oven for 10 seconds too long. Because of that I had to go wash dishes I hated washing and he knew that, he came behind my back while I was scrubbing and didn't stop yelling for good 10 mins.
Something like that happened at least once a week.
But every time I finished with work I felt stronger.
 

Gentlegiant

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What about if you need a different approach.
What about if you're just soft and you need some stiffening up.
Try working in a bar or a restaurant you will get some thick skin there at least I did.
I'm almost never stressed because of experiences I had while working in that industry.
I was in tears while my head chef was yelling at me because I left the omlete inside the oven for 10 seconds too long. Because of that I had to go wash dishes I hated washing and he knew that, he came behind my back while I was scrubbing and didn't stop yelling for good 10 mins.
Something like that happened at least once a week.
But every time I finished with work I felt stronger.
I worked 4 kitchens, and while it definitely made me way tougher (not only mentally, but my burn resistance is now unreal), I don't think being tough can replace a good life hygiene. And, I still have anxiety regarding the business aspect of my life (zen af in the other spheres though)

Or maybe the chefs I had didn't cook my a$$ enough idk hahaha
 

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