Can this thread save your life, and perhaps countless others? Yes.

[KindRibEye]

Not to say that somebody can't get in through a locked door. But locking the door definitely mitigates risk in the category of crimes of opportunity.

Even if the bad guys are going to be able to defeat the locked door, the lock buys your sister time to call for help, barricade her room, arm herself, or run away.

Time buys us options we won't have if we're completely surprised.

 

[Raven S]

I still remember the last day, I ever hurried to get anywhere. I was late for work, and the buss I was supposed to take, was coming in towards the bus stop, at the other side of one of a really traficated cross(??), and my immediate response was to start to run out into the road in order to cross it in time, and THEN remembering it is a traficated road!.. that is NOT the right order - and it changed my life. I NEVER hurry. Its now a rule, that I never ever break. My life, was in some real jeopardy for a second, for not having such a rule in place. - and the lesson stuck.

Sometimes, when I see grown ups, in a hurry, dragging/running with their children down stairways of stone, to catch Sub Ways, I always kind of silently pray, that they too, will wake up before they find out how hard those stairs actually are, for a little child to ram its head into.

 

[Antifragile]

I still remember the last day, I ever hurried to get anywhere. I was late for work, and the buss I was supposed to take, was coming in towards the bus stop, at the other side of one of a really traficated cross(??), and my immediate response was to start to run out into the road in order to cross it in time, and THEN remembering it is a traficated road!.. that is NOT the right order - and it changed my life. I NEVER hurry. Its now a rule, that I never ever break. My life, was in some real jeopardy for a second, for not having such a rule in place. - and the lesson stuck.

Sometimes, when I see grown ups, in a hurry, dragging/running with their children down stairways of stone, to catch Sub Ways, I always kind of silently pray, that they too, will wake up before they find out how hard those stairs actually are, for a little child to ram its head into.

This is excellent. I used to be in a hurry all the time. And slowly changed my mind. It’s crazy for us to take risks (I drive a lot, so for me it’s speeding when I’m late for a meeting). When we are stressed because we are in a hurry, we make poor decisions.
Something clicked for me a little while back. I realized that if I’m late, I didn’t plan well. But if I did plan well, and still am late than it’s fine. People will wait. I’m either important enough for them or if I’m not, then why am I meeting them? As a business owner, it’s even more so. A calm and collected person is far more impressive than a stressed out late lunatic- fidgeting through a meeting.
Thanks for the reminder!

 

[Matt Sun]

I just had the thought of what if something like this had happened to MJ while he wasn't as aware of D.A.R.E. (I understand he even hadn't wrote TMF yet) and he didn't got the chance to write it. Not only his life would change but also mine and the life's of many people here very much likely. Crazy stuff. I myself too am more careful now. This thread has come to mind when I was about to text and drive... so it is working !

 

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[Guest-5ty5s4]

Hold My Beer
Famous Last Words

Maybe I'm thinking too comedic

 

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[Rubi76]

I would title it:

"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear"

 

[Abe]

Question...

I was thinking about writing a short book which highlights various real stories of people who destroyed their lives with ONE DECISION, or as I call them, DAREs.

I think a book like this is worth my effort because it might actually save lives, and if it is even one life, it would be worth my time and effort. It also shouldn't be terribly hard to produce, and I could offer it as a freebie.

Question is, what should I title it? I don't like to write books without first having them titled.

I originally just thought of calling it "DARE" but it seems a bit bland and doesn't really describe the content.

Then I thought of calling it Asymmetric Stupidity ... but sometimes poor decisions are stupid decisions, just not well thought out.

DARE to DARE?

Any ideas?

Please share and contribute to the brainstorm -- read this thread if you DO NOT know what a DARE is.

"Dont you DARE"

 

[Strm]

This is really sad to read, but thank you for sharing @MJ DeMarco .

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

This is so so true. When I was 10, my mom was killed by a drunk driver. 20 years passed just this month. These things NEVER heal and I am going to live with this deep scar until my last breath. Not going to describe how it feels because it's nearly impossible. I've done my share of extremely stupid things when I was younger because of that event in my childhood and I could've easily totally ruin my life as well, among others. Thanks to some blind luck I did not. But every action has consequences and shit like that usually have very sad ones.

 

[Guyfieri5]

I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Memorial expenses and body transportation, organized by Britney Rodriguez

My name is Britney Rodriguez and I’m making this go fund me on behalf of m… Britney Rodriguez needs your support for Memorial expenses and body transportation

www.gofundme.com

I was a social drinker (so I told myself). Recently a friend of mine and I quit drinking entirely to better focus on our goals and we couldn't be happier. Years ago I quit drinking every weekend and saw great results in my health and progress. Now, there is zero chance I will ever make a bad decision because of alcohol.
To MJs point here, this event was due to a poor decision to drive on top of drinking so I won't demonize having a drink or two as long as you're responsible. If you're serious about your goals though, the best way to mitigate your frequency of bad decisions like this (or seriously setting yourself back) is to eliminate drugs and getting drunk on alcohol altogether. I couldn't tell you the number of life-altering things I've almost done under the influence. When I was younger, I could have done something like this and I thank God I never did. Thank you MJ, and stay safe out there everyone!

 

[natashaquinn88]

I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Memorial expenses and body transportation, organized by Britney Rodriguez

My name is Britney Rodriguez and I’m making this go fund me on behalf of m… Britney Rodriguez needs your support for Memorial expenses and body transportation

www.gofundme.com

After reading your experience of getting a DUI in TMF it was a gut wrenching reminder of my DUI and my rock bottom. As a long time bar tender and bar manager maxed out with stress, alcohol was my crutch. I drank a lot. I drove drunk a lot and it finally caught up to me one night. After working a double the day before Super Bowl and having to go into open the next day for super bowl (here in hawaii it starts pretty early) I hit the few bars that stayed open later then mine and can’t even remember how many “one more” s I had. I crashed into a parked car a couple blocks down the road. Luckily I was not going very fast but very unluckily there was a man sleeping in the next car after the one I crashed into and that car did bump into his. I am so incredibly lucky that he was ok but the major wake up call that that was that I could have hurt someone or even killed them. I lost my job but that was for the best. The next month the world shut down with Covid so I had that time to retreat and really re evaluate my life. I have been sober ever since. I was so angry and ashamed for about a year and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Alcohol is a killer. it’s so crazy how it’s marketed and packaged up so pretty when what it really is is poison. Addiction needs more attention in society as it’s such a taboo subject but so many are suffering (many don’t even realize it). My heart goes out to all those affected by this drug. I am so extremely lucky that I have come out of all this stronger and wiser but there are many who are not so fortunate. I fear the damage I am capable of when the spirits take over and that’s why I can never go back. I couldn’t even talk about this for so long but I believe the healing comes with sharing our pain. I will not waste the time I have been granted and I am grateful and blessed to be in the position I am today. Thank you for sharing.

 

[heavy_industry]

If government would forbid alcohol, the numbers of alcohol accidents would go down immediately.

As @Jadus pointed out, you can't stop people from doing something by making it illegal. People will proceed regardless. And the alcohol prohibition had plenty of unintended consequences and overall did more harm to the society.

I don't think governments can or should prohibit alcohol use. It's ultimately a personal choice. If you want to do it that's fine, but it's your responsibility to educate yourself on this topic and understand the risks.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

One thing I didn't notice mentioned is tiredness.

It can be wicked, because you think you're more capable then you are.
You may even be a very responsible driver, thinking "alright, I need to take a nap, next town is just a few miles away, we'll make a pause there".

But sleep sneaks up on you and takes you out in a split second.
One part of the second you're awake, next part of that same second you're asleep!

How will you wake up?

Will your passenger notice just in time to shake you up and steer the wheel before you hit another car?
Will it be to the truck from the other side honking and flashing lights into you?


Why even take a chance?
Whatever you think you will lose if you don't get somewhere in time,
is probably worth much less than losing everything.


This is a place for ambitious, and I know many of y'all are skimpy on sleep.
I respect you for it. It's badass.

But it's even more badass to get your priorities right.
Please take care.

 

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[Mario_fastlaner]

I lost a friend due to an accident. He was driving while texting with his smartphone. He was only 17…

 

[biggeemac]

This very thing happened with a family member of mine. Her boyfriend lost his life......she did 10 years. Please think before you act.

 

[sambreaker20]

Honestly this one chapter changed my life when I first read the book. Thank you MJ

 

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[UncommonWay]

Also the recent tragedy with the cinematographer and Alec Baldwin springs to mind. Who is responsible for that? Alec Baldwin for picking up what he perceived t be an empty gun and playing with it? The p0rop person for making sure it was EMPTY.

Another bad decision by somebody and a life is lost needlessly. Also, research the deaths of Brandon Lee and Jon Eric Hexum. No one learns and no one takes responsibility and thinks things out beforehand
.

Alec Baldwin's accident could have happened to anyone who is not familiar with firearms. He delegated the responsibility for checking the gun to the prop master and assistant director, but he trusted the wrong people, and he wasn't familiar enough with guns to be in the habit of checking the gun himself. End result is this entirely predictable tragedy.

I wasn't raised knowing about guns, but I made sure to learn as soon as I was 18. I don't shoot anymore, and it's not a part of my life, but gun safety is permanently etched into my brain.

 

[Manfern]

Interesting story, I don't think it's a choice problem though, because what right choice can be when you are drunk?
It's simply bad discipline, normal reasonable person will avoid driving in this condition,
gave keys to sober person or hide it.

This summer my friend got into a car crash after drunk driving and injured himself badly, now he is with a scar for whole head and he deserves it, so is the guy from the story, it's harsh and it's just reality

Even bad choice can be valuable if you learned the lesson from it, many people will blame someone else or external conditions to avoid feeling bad.

This book will change your life and helps to get on right track cause it's possible to live well without alcohol and other painkillers(I'm sober for 4 months now)

 

[Mattie]

I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Memorial expenses and body transportation, organized by Britney Rodriguez

My name is Britney Rodriguez and I’m making this go fund me on behalf of m… Britney Rodriguez needs your support for Memorial expenses and body transportation

www.gofundme.com

Amen.. I agree 100%. Many people don't think about how one choice can impact not just one person's life, but many people's lives. I'm sorry, to hear about the situation. I hope the person, and two families get through this in a positive way. It's a difficult situation to be in.

It is definitely a wake up call. I do believe often, people don't understand why I make choices the way I do, but I always try to make smart choices the best of my ability at the time. We have to make tough choices sometimes. This is not always about personal desires, wants, or needs, and bit of self-discipline. It does only take one time, and things can get out of control and end up in a bad situation.

We always have a choice to participate or not participate in certain activities, environments, and certain situations.

 

[Ing]

I ve been driving about 4 million km in my life. Still about 50k a year. I often drive fast and I had some drives with alkohol. So I know all aspects of that drive - theme.

At a point I decided to change the Porsche to a SUV. A good decision!

Driving with alkohol is shit!
Driving fast depends. Not every fast driver is more dangerous than a slow driver without practice.
Driving fast without much driving practice is as bad as driving with drugs/alkohol.

Dont justice the driver without knowing the exact facts!

and stay allways cool and friendly!

 

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[KindRibEye]

That never occurred to me. Not that I’m ever out that late, but I’ll bear it in mind in future.

It's good advice.

I'll add that even sober people on the road at 3 AM are not driving with the full skill and attention that they would have at 3 in the afternoon.

My dear wife got hit twice by tired drivers once upon a time when she was working late shifts are the hospital. Both incidents between 3 and 4 AM.

 

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[SteveO]

It's good advice.

I'll add that even sober people on the road at 3 AM are not driving with the full skill and attention that they would have at 3 in the afternoon.

My dear wife got hit twice by tired drivers once upon a time when she was working late shifts are the hospital. Both incidents between 3 and 4 AM.

I worked third shift many years ago. Found that the best time to sleep was on my way home.

 

[MattR82]

So easily done after even just 2 or 3 social drinks over a 2 hour catchup on a friday or sat afternoon.

I've switched to Heineken zero now, and never think about missing out on any social fun because I'm not drinking. That really was a concern for me.

Doesn't even need to be alcohol related though. My 6 year old sister was killed on a pedestrian crossing when I was younger (this is going back 25 years) by an elderly man that wasn't supposed to be driving at night because of his eyesight. It had only just become dark, about 6pm in the evening.

He avoided jail because of his age (not that anyone really wanted him in jail) but he put a lot of people in his and our family in turmoil for a long time over what probably seemed to him like a small risk at the time.

 

[doster.zach]

if I’m late, I didn’t plan well.

This is a big thing. As I started to try and be as efficient as possible with my time, I would start to squeeze things into slots they shouldn't be.

5 min early costs you nothing and shows people you care. 5 mins late saves you nothing and can cost you a lot more.

 

[ShamanKing]

As time passes, everyone will eventually forgive or forget the person responsible for what has happend.
The real question is how long will it take for someone to forgive themself.
I pray that this person will be able to forgive her/him-self.

 

[Red]

As time passes, everyone will eventually forgive or forget the person responsible for what has happened

I have a feeling that the dead man's mother may feel differently than you do about this situation.

 

[doster.zach]

I originally just thought of calling it "DARE" but it seems a bit bland and doesn't really describe the content.

DARE might be too associated with the anti-drug movement. I know that's the first thing I think of lol.

 

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[eramart]

- Wrong Turn
- Think or DARE?

 

[MTF]

Hold My Beer
Famous Last Words

Maybe I'm thinking too comedic

Hold my be-ER, I'm going to the ER

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Hold My Beer

That actually might work... has a pop culture resonance and is light-hearted for what can be a serious subject.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

That actually might work... has a pop culture resonance and is light-hearted for what can be a serious subject.

The phrase itself has become a bit of a meme. Someone might have trademarked it already, but if not, it's a very valuable phrase.

If you use it, will you let me know? Would be cool!

 

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