Brave

[SteveO]

Early in my life, I wanted to stand up for myself and for others. I have been in over 100 fights. More than thirty were with people other than my neighborhood as a youth. I was removed from high school for fighting and fought numerous times in the Marine Corps. I jumped into a fight at a restaurant to defend someone that was being picked on. I had my young children with me.

The only respect that I got for all that was from someone that I did not give a shit about.

 

[SteveO]

It is very important for a man to be brave. Women love though guys. Courage is appreciated around the world.

What are good books or other ways to get braver?

I'm not sure any of this is true.

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

Courage or bravery is having fear but continuing with an action regardless. It's that simple. It shows confidence in yourself and your abilities. You may not necessarily be slaying dragons, but start small. Wear the shirt that you like and makes you happy, regardless of what people think. Dance and sing in public if that is your fancy. Approach the cute girl you see at the coffee shop and say hello. Cry when you feel emotion. Laugh when you are happy. Start a business that provides value, even if you are afraid it will fail. Don't think of what others think about your actions. Do them because it's what you want to do.

Just make sure that our actions not just benefit ourselves, but others as well. That is how the bravery of heroes' becomes legend. They acted when everyone was scared, including themselves, for the betterment of others.

If you want examples of bravery, read American Medal of Honor citations that detail the exploits of men in dangerous situations that put others before themselves.

Read the stories of men and women who helped people of the Jewish faith escape Nazi Germany.

Read tales of the underdogs overcoming adversity to accomplish their vision and dreams.

There are examples all around you. You just have to know what to look for.

 

[Vigilante]

Step 1. pay a bum $5 to kick you in the nuts

Step 2. stop looking for hypothetical self improvement, and get yourself some REAL self improvement. Get yourself the first three chapters FREE of a life changing book at http://www.themillionairefastlane.com

(note : Step 1 is optional. Step 2 is NOT optional.)

 

[jon.a]

In day to day activities, bravery rarely comes up.

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

Early in my life, I wanted to stand up for myself and for others. I have been in over 100 fights. More than thirty were with people other than my neighborhood as a youth. I was removed from high school for fighting and fought numerous times in the Marine Corps. I jumped into a fight at a restaurant to defend someone that was being picked on. I had my young children with me.

The only respect that I got for all that was from someone that I did not give a shit about.

@SteveO , Semper Fi, brother.

While it is impossible for me to understand the situations you found yourself in where you resolved to fighting to defend yourself and others, for I am not you and was not there, I want to mention that fighting does not always correlate to bravery or courage, as your story illustrates. Sun Tzu mentions briefly that to win without fighting is best. I agree that fighting will not always bring about respect, even to a victor.

Back to the @James Bond 's initial post, I think he may have extrapolated on what bravery brings. He perhaps views it as more 'event' based than 'process' based, and sees it as an opportunity to bring about his desires for personal growth.

Courage is a highly useful trait in leadership, and all walks of life, but it is not the panacea to having the world respect you or women flock to you.

Courage is a tool, much like integrity, or dependability that we can use as individuals to bring about a change in ourselves that will alter how we interact with the world, and ultimately alter our environment and our reality to some degree. Courage combined with other traits or actions can amplify the effects we are going after, but just using it alone will not go as far.

To @James Bond , what does bravery look like in your eyes? Based upon your name, your profile picture, and question at hand, you possibly hold a stereotypical view of what masculinity is in this modern world and how it is achieved. I wonder how much of what you think a man is, is based upon a definition set by Hollywood or corporations, in order to alter your buying habits, or cultural influence to mold you to a group identity.

I'm interested in what exactly prompted you to ask this question, and I am looking forward to hearing your response.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

You want to be strong in these areas? You know how you get strong? By lifting weights.
The weights you need to lift are going out and being social. Going to toastmasters will help you with speech.

You can't read a friggin' book to get better at these things.

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

That's the problem that I have. If normal people gets insulted they insult back. But I do nothing and than I get so angry that they fear that I'm going to beat them up. So I don't have a middle ground. Or I use too little agression or too much agression.

People insult back because their Ego is attacked, their identity, which is based on the perceptions they receive in validation from others than themselves. When you attack or strike back, either verbally or physically, you are telling them that they are a threat to you. If they are a threat, then you are giving them power over yourself.

The only power others have over us is the power we give them by our perception of the situation. Read the philosopher Epictetus' essay called 'On Freedom' for a way better understanding of power and perception. Hell, do yourself a favor and read his entire Discourses and Selected Writings (I prefer the Penguin Classics edition to the one provided, but the link is free vs buying a book).

It is natural to feel emotions. It is natural to feel anger or pain from a verbal assault. This is where mindfulness and self-awareness is crucial in developing internal strength. When this happens, we need to detach ourselves from the situation. Japanese samurai had the ability to detach themselves from the situations they found themselves in. When angered or in pain, they would say 'someone is in anger,' 'someone is in pain.' This gives us clarity of mind to see if the threats we are facing are valid, or if they are figments of our imagination. In NLP they call this technique 'framing' the situation. They create new viewpoints to see the situation in new ways.

How people respond to other people, or outside stimulus in general, is more a reflection of their internal 'reality tunnel,' or how they view the world and their place in it. If someone is nasty to you, it is not necessarily against you personally.

Instead of trying to win through battle, try to win without fighting at all. To make an enemy a friend is a better victory. We create more value to the other person and the world at large, than we would by the destruction of an enemy. Don't be defensive. Shower them with brotherly love and kind feeling. Treat them like they are already your best friend.

They say lions don't care for the opinions of sheep. A better way of phrasing is that the developed person only seeks validation from within in adherence to their esteemed values and principles, and lets the opinions of others fly over them, for the developed individual realizes that only they are responsible for the life they live.

A man chooses, a slave obeys. A free individual chooses how they respond to ANYTHING they interact with. They do not REACT automatically to the situations they encounter (unless they have chosen to create that instinctive response aka muscle memory).

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Moved outside...

 

[Delmania]

It is very important for a man to be brave. Women love though guys. Courage is appreciated around the world.

What are good books or other ways to get braver?

Generalizing 2/3 of the population isn't a good idea, but in general, heterosexual women tend to find confident men who are good with babies and dogs as attractive. At least, the type of woman who's interested in a fulfilling, long term, stable relationship.

Reading a book won't help you be brave. The only way to be brave is to act even though you're scared. If you want to confident, well, that's another story. I personally recommend getting physically fit and taking martial arts as a way to start.

 

[Delmania]

I apologize. I have been a biker too long lol

Look, you are already brave. You have the guts the be here and believe in yourself. Even if just in your own mind, you are brave.

It doesn't take chutzpah or gravitas to make your business work. Just, believe in yourself. You can do it!

Even if you don't believe in yourself, do it any ways. What's the worst that could happen? Death? In that case, you won't care anymore.

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

Those are good areas to seek self-improvement in, and I have confidence that you will see improvement in them.

Here are some tips that may help.

-Ten minutes of experience is worth more than one hour of studying theory. Knowledge is only as good as it is applied. You will learn more, and faster by doing that then by mentally masturbating with more and more reading. Plus, by doing this, you will build courage by facing fears of social anxiety. Two birds with one stone! Knowledge should give you ideas to test out and gain experience with.

-To increase your speaking abilities, practice projecting your voice. Pick a spot five feet in front of you and project your voice as you talk to 'hit' that spot. You can also have a friend stand in this spot to see if you are being loud enough. Then, pick a spot or have your friend move back to 10 feet, 20 feet, up to half a foot ball field to a football field away. As you increase the distance, increase the strength of your voice to reach the spot you are targeting. Don't project from your throat, but from your belly (the diaphragm). If you are to shout, expel the air from your gut, not from your throat. Speaking from the diaphragm also tends to make people talk in a lower toned voice, which I am sure is a characteristic you may unconsciously want as well. Our internal voice volume may sound loud/normal to us, but our external voice volume is much lower than we think.

-SLOW. THE F*ck. DOWN. WHEN. YOU. TALK. Speak clearly and with purpose. You are speaking to transmit information to another person. If you fail to give them the information you are trying to pass, you fail in communicating. Most people are afraid of pauses and silence in conversation and use place holding words like 'umm.' There is nothing wrong with silence, so long as you are in control of your actions. If you have to pause for several seconds to figure out what you want to say, that is 100% fine, and shows confidence because you are acting with purpose and are not afraid of what others think. If you freeze up and have no clue what to say, own it. Say you just had a brain freeze, smile, laugh it off, and try again. (SUMMARY: Speak slowly enough to be understood, speak louder than you normally do-project your voice to the appropriate distance, project your voice from your diaphragm.)

-Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. Confidence comes from receiving validation from within yourself, not from the validation of others outside of yourself.

-People follow those who have their best interests in mind. This can be either out of love or fear. I prefer to have people love me than fear me. People like people who make them feel good. The best book I have read in interacting with people is How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There are several other paths we can go down as far as human interactions go, but you will learn so much by reading that book, that it will give you plenty to experiment with.

-Business knowledge comes from trial and error. Fools learn from their own mistakes; wise men learn from the mistakes of fools. This should push you in the right directions.

-Willpower is like a muscle. Start small to exercise it and build up. Not everyone has the willpower to climb Mount Everest if they were to start RIGHT NOW. Start by deciding to walk to the kitchen. Then walk down the block. Then walk several miles. Now walk up a few hills on those miles, etc. Will is a reflection to adherence to internal principles that trump external stimulus. We use will to take one more step forward when our body aches because we hold the view that we are mentally stronger than we are physically. We use will to get out of bed regularly at 6am because we hold the view that early risers get more done than those that sleep in (just an example, may not be true. Experiment and find out). I think you get the idea.

Most importantly, seek self-improvement so that you are better able to provide value and help to others. Seeking self-improvement for vanity will be shallow and people will see right through it. Take the stereotypical 'douche-bag' type male for example. When you do things to get validation from others, you lose the very thing you are seeking to get in the first place, which is self-confidence and respect. When you try to do things to get others to like you, it tends to repulse people. They smell the neediness. BUT, if you focus on deriving validation from yourself, you are able to be different from the crowd because you do not seek validation from the crowd. You then blaze your own trail. People will wonder whats up, and you may find others coming to you to see just what you are about.

There are no simple fixes. Trial and error are your best friend. Failure is a success if you learn from it and use the lessons to push on. Dwelling on failure is the only way for a failure to remain so.

I highly recommend the following books to help you out in the areas you want: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Psyco-Cybernetics by Mawell Maltz, The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco.

What you will find is that every book boils down to the following: Stop looking for an outside solution to fix your problems. Change must start internally. By focusing inwards instead of outwards, we will notice that our actions will be different, which produces new changes in our environment and thus shaping a new reality. We cannot wait for Reality to change for us to change. The exact opposite is true. We must change ourselves to change reality. This is the great secret everyone tries time and time again to tell the masses. Focusing on outside things to change our reality is a consumer mindset. Focusing on changing ourselves to act differently and change our environment and reality is a producer mindset, an entrepreneur mindset.

I hope this helps you, or anyone else out. It is a brain dump, so the information might not be the most coherent or well formatted. I just wanted to get it out of my mind and into yours.

With Love,

A.S.

 

[AmericanSpartan]

So I believe Martin Seligman says you want to use your top 5 signature strengths as much as you can in your work. The positive psychology people say "don't worry about your weaknesses unless they hold you back in a major way."

A nice quote I read a while back is 'Utilize and employ your strengths, staff your weaknesses.'

Take what you are good at and use them. Find others who have strength where you have weakness, and work together. It saves a hell of a lot of time vs trying to become a jack of all trades.

 

[James Bond]

It is very important for a man to be brave. Women love though guys. Courage is appreciated around the world.

What are good books or other ways to get braver?

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

Brother,

It goes way deeper than all of that.

What is your goal with all of this?

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

To become the best version of myself.

What are your goals for improvement then. What is it you want to be that you are currently not?

 

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[SteveO]

With brave I mean brave to defend yourself and others. But no offense, If you have been in more than 100 fights people will see you as an agressor. People don't like aggressive people, but they like brave people. Its like people like confident people, but don't like arrogant people.

It could easily sound that way. Most people don't know me as aggressive. In fact, most would define me as passive or "too nice".

Regardless, there may be plenty of people that look up to brave people. I'm not sure though because it is not an attribute that is at the top of my list.

 

[SteveO]

Your question was how to get information on how to be braver. Most of us responded with "why would you want that" which was not what you wanted. I don't really know where to obtain the information you are looking for. Perhaps you could look towards those that are frequently seen as heros and such. Special forces in the military, police officers, firefighters, etc. Not sure if this will help you on a fastlane journey, but perhaps it will help for your goals.

 

[HiMyNameIsTom]

I'd take the VIA Signature Strengths test:
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/

Under questionnaires there is a "VIA Survey of Character Strengths" to find out where "Bravery" falls on your strengths.

Then, go here:
http://www.viacharacter.org/resources/ways-to-use-via-character-strengths/

They talk about some movies you can watch to connect with some that side of yourself, and some actions you can take.

Also, already mentioned here, is to read biographies of great people. To me, Ted Turner was kind of badass and his autobiography was a great audiobook, and thinking of him can help me draw on some courage. Other's as well, if you read the Bezos book, you can imagine how ballsy he must have been to make some of the decisions he made. I originally heard the idea "Read biographies of great people to draw courage" from Tai Lopez, and initially thought it was dumb until I tried it and realized that by seeing great people's stories over and over again, you at least get more of a mental roadmap of how you can then take the right actions in life.

"""
I. Bravery [valor]: Bravery is the capacity to take action to aid others in spite of significant risks or dangers. This strength allows people to avoid shrinking from the threats, challenges, or pain associated with attempting to do good works. Brave acts are undertaken voluntarily with full knowledge of the potential adversity involved. Brave individuals place the highest importance on higher purpose and morality, no matter what the consequences might be.

Too much: foolhardiness, risk taking, foolishness
Too little: debilitating fear

MOVIES:

1. Milk (2008) – A biographical film based on the life of gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk. Movie depicts Milks’ courage to the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California.
2. The Kite Runner (2007) – is a moving tale of courage of two friends Amir and Hassan whose friendship flourishes in pre-Soviet invasion Kabul in mid to late 1970s. Where Hassan displays the courage and loyalty of being faithful to Amir, Amir, ultimately overcomes his inner cowardice to rescue Hassan’s son from war ravaged and Taliban ruled Afghanistan, to make things right, again.
3. Schindler’s List (1993) – Oskar Schindler is a German businessman who sees the opportunity of cheap labor in the plight of persecuted Jews. Over the course of the movie, however, his perspective changes and he begins to use his factory as a cover for hiding refugees. His actions cost him his fortune but save over a thousand lives.
4. Life as a House (2001) – An architect diagnosed with terminal cancer finally faces the most difficult parts of his life: his relationships with his estranged son and ex-wife. As he rebuilds the house that contained his most painful memories, he braves the pain and uncertainty of his past in order to build a foundation for his future, no matter how short it may be.

SUGGESTED ACTIONS:

1. Resist social or peer pressure, instead choosing to act on noble values and causes in meaningful ways. For example, you can write, speak out, participate in a protest, or join an activist organization.
2. Speak up for or write about an unpopular idea in a group. Be respectful of other opinions without backing down from yours.
3. Take small, practical steps for a constructive social change. Local volunteer organizations are an excellent resource for ways to get involved.
4. Report an injustice, abuse, blatant unethical practice, or abuse of power or resources to appropriate authorities, even if the perpetrator is someone close to you. Remember the people that you are helping by preventing further injustice.
5. Protect or stand up for someone who will not otherwise stand up for him- or herself, such as a younger sibling or a battered woman. Make them feel like they can depend on you in the future.
6. Ask difficult questions that help you and others face reality. Be gentle and kind, but don’t keep questions inside merely because they are hard to express or answer.
7. Clarify your values by thinking about how best they have served you in challenging situations. Also consider ways in which your values have hindered you, and ways to change this in the future.
8. Cultivate a reputation for recognizing and appreciating brave acts that are accomplished despite challenges. Express your appreciation for other people who exhibit bravery.
9. Identify an area in which you generally shy away from confrontations. Practice the phrases, the tones, and the mannerisms that will enable you to effectively confront the situation next time.
10. Collect contemporary stories of bravery in everyday life situations. Save newspaper or magazine clippings about courageous acts.
11. Don’t be afraid to be different while still being positive. Act in ways that make you feel true to your beliefs and personality.
12. Don’t be afraid to befriend someone who is different. Think of ways that their strengths as a friend can compliment your own.

"""

 

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[Delmania]

I would rate resilience higher than bravery.

But, that is me.

Resilient people are brave. They have to be.

 

[W4RHRSE]

I apologize. I have been a biker too long lol

Look, you are already brave. You have the guts the be here and believe in yourself. Even if just in your own mind, you are brave.

It doesn't take chutzpah or gravitas to make your business work. Just, believe in yourself. You can do it!

 

[HiMyNameIsTom]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

I dunno if its cool to post links to info products here, if not, apologies and understand if mods feel free to moderate or cut this comment. However, I have found Aziz's material useful. Here is a info product he sells:
http://www.confidenceunleashednow.com

His main site is http://socialconfidencecenter.com/ and it looks less internet market-y though obviously that doesn't mean that much.

I recommend checking out his videos and marketing emails at least, you get some more content -- and you can judge whether you think it can help or not for your case -- for becoming "verbally strong and socially strong" and "courage to face my fears" I think this product is useful.

One thing I like that he suggests doing is "friendly greetings challenge" or something like that. Its sounds SUPER silly, but I said "Alright I got this product so let me just try it out before I judge." He says to go to a mall or some area with a lot of foot traffic and just say "hi" or "hey what's up" to 25 people...and do it like, "putting yourself out there" like expressively rather than just doing it meekly. I did this a few times at places like even Wal-mart, and while its "totally weird" its really awesome to realize "Just because its not socially normal to say hi to people at Wal-mart (or the mall or Whole Foods or wherever you choose), I can still do it and still think I'm great." It kinda shows you a lot of your mental bullshit and limiting self-belief...or it did for me.

If that product is too pricey (its $500 on his email list rather than a grand on his site), his book "The Solution for Social Anxiety" is also excellent. If you go through this videos, feel free to PM me to ask me anything more specific about it.

For Willpower the book "Willpower Instinct" was awesome -- Kelly McGonical is a pretty smart researcher and distills down the research into what works in a very actionable way.

For "Business Knowledge" none of these products help except in terms of making you more confident to apply what you know -- IMO that is unrelated to social confidence or bravery or whatever, but there are tons of posts around to talk about that topic. Personally I'm learning that stuff from the book "Millionaire Fastlane " and a Robert Kiyosaki book, and reading business articles that seem relevant to me, and then when I encounter a word that I'm not certain what it means, I google until I have a high level. e.g. "executive chairman" -- wtf is that, enough time on Wikipedia "Oh its chairman of the board of directors who is also CEO" (I think that's correct), e.g. "distributor vs reseller" -- until I figure out "oh this one stocks inventory, this one doesn't..." Also going through "Bookkeeping for Dummies" and looking through relevant IRS documents like "WTF is 1040 and WTF is Schedule C" (I did some freelance work this year so first time I'm encountering these terms).

Hope you find something useful in this wall of text..back to work!

 

[jon.a]

Those are good areas to seek self-improvement in, and I have confidence that you will see improvement in them.

Here are some tips that may help.

-Ten minutes of experience is worth more than one hour of studying theory. Knowledge is only as good as it is applied. You will learn more, and faster by doing that then by mentally masturbating with more and more reading. Plus, by doing this, you will build courage by facing fears of social anxiety. Two birds with one stone! Knowledge should give you ideas to test out and gain experience with.

-To increase your speaking abilities, practice projecting your voice. Pick a spot five feet in front of you and project your voice as you talk to 'hit' that spot. You can also have a friend stand in this spot to see if you are being loud enough. Then, pick a spot or have your friend move back to 10 feet, 20 feet, up to half a foot ball field to a football field away. As you increase the distance, increase the strength of your voice to reach the spot you are targeting. Don't project from your throat, but from your belly (the diaphragm). If you are to shout, expel the air from your gut, not from your throat. Speaking from the diaphragm also tends to make people talk in a lower toned voice, which I am sure is a characteristic you may unconsciously want as well. Our internal voice volume may sound loud/normal to us, but our external voice volume is much lower than we think.

-SLOW. THE F*ck. DOWN. WHEN. YOU. TALK. Speak clearly and with purpose. You are speaking to transmit information to another person. If you fail to give them the information you are trying to pass, you fail in communicating. Most people are afraid of pauses and silence in conversation and use place holding words like 'umm.' There is nothing wrong with silence, so long as you are in control of your actions. If you have to pause for several seconds to figure out what you want to say, that is 100% fine, and shows confidence because you are acting with purpose and are not afraid of what others think. If you freeze up and have no clue what to say, own it. Say you just had a brain freeze, smile, laugh it off, and try again. (SUMMARY: Speak slowly enough to be understood, speak louder than you normally do-project your voice to the appropriate distance, project your voice from your diaphragm.)

-Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. Confidence comes from receiving validation from within yourself, not from the validation of others outside of yourself.

-People follow those who have their best interests in mind. This can be either out of love or fear. I prefer to have people love me than fear me. People like people who make them feel good. The best book I have read in interacting with people is How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There are several other paths we can go down as far as human interactions go, but you will learn so much by reading that book, that it will give you plenty to experiment with.

-Business knowledge comes from trial and error. Fools learn from their own mistakes; wise men learn from the mistakes of fools. This should push you in the right directions.

-Willpower is like a muscle. Start small to exercise it and build up. Not everyone has the willpower to climb Mount Everest if they were to start RIGHT NOW. Start by deciding to walk to the kitchen. Then walk down the block. Then walk several miles. Now walk up a few hills on those miles, etc. Will is a reflection to adherence to internal principles that trump external stimulus. We use will to take one more step forward when our body aches because we hold the view that we are mentally stronger than we are physically. We use will to get out of bed regularly at 6am because we hold the view that early risers get more done than those that sleep in (just an example, may not be true. Experiment and find out). I think you get the idea.

Most importantly, seek self-improvement so that you are better able to provide value and help to others. Seeking self-improvement for vanity will be shallow and people will see right through it. Take the stereotypical 'douche-bag' type male for example. When you do things to get validation from others, you lose the very thing you are seeking to get in the first place, which is self-confidence and respect. When you try to do things to get others to like you, it tends to repulse people. They smell the neediness. BUT, if you focus on deriving validation from yourself, you are able to be different from the crowd because you do not seek validation from the crowd. You then blaze your own trail. People will wonder whats up, and you may find others coming to you to see just what you are about.

There are no simple fixes. Trial and error are your best friend. Failure is a success if you learn from it and use the lessons to push on. Dwelling on failure is the only way for a failure to remain so.

I highly recommend the following books to help you out in the areas you want: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Psyco-Cybernetics by Mawell Maltz, The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco.

What you will find is that every book boils down to the following: Stop looking for an outside solution to fix your problems. Change must start internally. By focusing inwards instead of outwards, we will notice that our actions will be different, which produces new changes in our environment and thus shaping a new reality. We cannot wait for Reality to change for us to change. The exact opposite is true. We must change ourselves to change reality. This is the great secret everyone tries time and time again to tell the masses. Focusing on outside things to change our reality is a consumer mindset. Focusing on changing ourselves to act differently and change our environment and reality is a producer mindset, and entrepreneur mindset.

I hope this helps you, or anyone else out. It is a brain dump, so the information might not be the most coherent or well formatted. I just wanted to get it out of my mind and into yours.

With Love,

A.S.

Damn that was good

 

[AmericanSpartan]

You want to be strong in these areas? You know how you get strong? By lifting weights.
The weights you need to lift are going out and being social. Going to toastmasters will help you with speech.

You can't read a friggin' book to get better at these things.

Like I said earlier, reading should provide the stimulus to go out and ACT. Reading creates inspiration, motivation, and gives us tools for the toolbox. If we don't do anything with what we have read, we might as well had not read at all (unless it was for entertainment purposes).

 

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[HiMyNameIsTom]

Like I said earlier, reading should provide the stimulus to go out and ACT. Reading creates inspiration, motivation, and gives us tools for the toolbox. If we don't do anything with what we have read, we might as well had not read at all (unless it was for entertainment purposes).

Yup. The way I see it is kinda how Tai Lopez explains it, with is idea of K-S-E -- Knowledge, Strategy, Execution. Reading can give you some "theory" (e.g. knowledge), and then some "strategy (e.g. what you need to do, which is informed by the K-nowledge), and finally you must do the E, Execute (e.g. go out and do it).

Not having knowledge/strategy means you're trying to take action to solve a problem you obviously don't know how to solve yet (since you haven't).

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

Like I said earlier, reading should provide the stimulus to go out and ACT. Reading creates inspiration, motivation, and gives us tools for the toolbox. If we don't do anything with what we have read, we might as well had not read at all (unless it was for entertainment purposes).

Forget the books. Forget everything.

You can't be unless you are.
Books are like money, they are just a tool.
Reading X book won't get you laid.
Reading book 3 won't make you lift more weight.

It can tell you what worked for guy X. It can tell you proper form for lift 3.

Doing is the only way to know.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

Stopped to shoot basketball this morning on the way home.
Never been good at the game.
Ever.

I watched a YouTube video on how to shoot better. I never made that many shoots in a day before.
I made more today than my last 3 games in the 50 minutes I shot around
I'm not saying I'm Kobe level, nor do I have the ability to grow any taller.

I simply applied what I learned in the video and made more shots.

I could of spent my time making theories and reading books... I would of never made those shots cause I didn't take them.

 

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[Newpollz]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

An unrealistic perception of life is the basis of your fear.



You are not willing to live, you are not willing to die. That is your whole quandary right now.



The fear is simply because you are not living with life. You are living in your mind.





Your fear is always about what's going to happen next. That means, your fear is always about that which does not exist. 100% imaginary.




It is your perception of yourself, as you see yourself. You think other people give a F*ck about you.



They don't, they have their own life and feel exactly the same way that you do from time to time.

They care and fear about what YOU think about them.



You want to to know something? You already have it, you are already brave for asking and admitting you have fears on a business forum filled with millionaires and geniuses.



Find your purpose through skills that you acquire. Learn all professions as best you can.



But don't become hard with yourself. Learn to respect and like yourself. Treat yourself like a finely-tuned watch. Polish it, wear it proudly. Wear yourself proudly.

Learn to really relax. Be cool. Chill out. It's really an art (that must be trained) to be able to relax especially in these technological times.



There is no race, only the rat race and I hope you don't enjoy being in that shit.


Your life is only TIME TRIAL MODE.



You are only clocking yourself, and we are all doing time trials separately against ourselves (our own ghosts) too. We all have our tribulations, demons, fears and doubts. Challenges and fails.

Lead us bro, I am speaking to the Neo inside of you, if he exists. The truth is I have no way of knowing if you are the next Carnegie or just a cocksucker behind a keyboard.

Show us your real spirit. Imagine if everyone shows their real spirit the world we could build.


Businesses are THEIR OWN ENTITIES FOR A REASON.


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People forget. Tell me.


When was the last time you made an a$$ of yourself?


What about the time before that?I bet you don't even remember.


And neither do we.




Move on, you have a life to live. Right now. This moment is happening right now. Breathe



You are alive.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

@AndrewNC

 

[James Bond]

Early in my life, I wanted to stand up for myself and for others. I have been in over 100 fights. More than thirty were with people other than my neighborhood as a youth. I was removed from high school for fighting and fought numerous times in the Marine Corps. I jumped into a fight at a restaurant to defend someone that was being picked on. I had my young children with me.

The only respect that I got for all that was from someone that I did not give a shit about.

With brave I mean brave to defend yourself and others. But no offense, If you have been in more than 100 fights people will see you as an agressor. People don't like aggressive people, but they like brave people. Its like people like confident people, but don't like arrogant people.

 

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