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GOLD! Being in a relationship with a slowlaner...

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Primeperiwinkle

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I think the line of reasoning you’re using probably deserves its own thread.

The most unsuccessful person I’ve ever met is one of the most selfish. Conversely, the most unselfish person I know has millions and is only 42..,

I think we’d need to define selfishness.. hm.
 

SamRussell

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I agree. The Salon was a bad source but it was an easy read for ppl to get my point.

Here’s another. Ayn Rand Trashes C.S. Lewis in Her Marginalia: He’s an “Abysmal Bastard”

Everything in the Salon article was non-sense, out of context and a lie.

The link you posted amounts to "Ayn Rand said something". It doesn't say why what she said is right / wrong / moral / immoral.

If you want to prove her as being immoral, then give a reason.

Also, CS Lewis equating mystical-magic (such as voodoo) with science is drivel.
 

Mattie

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I'm currently in an awesome relationship and we get along amazingly, the only issue I have is when it comes to the future.

I'm like some here, I have a slowlane(ish) job (i'm a contractor, so have the freedom to leave whenever and get paid around 5x more) and I'm lucky in the sense i'm rarely monitored and am in a coding environment so I can do my own projects without getting caught.

My current girlfriend just doesn't have the same mindset or share the same beliefs as me and it can hold me back like a sea anchor. I'm starting new business ventures at the moment and she'll say "somebody has already done that", "be realistic" and she is looking to make her way in the company and get that pension at the end! I want to know if others have crossed this bridge? She just doesn't see the same visions and has barriers in her mind which I have eliminated by years of mental masterbation.

I have tried to get her to read TMF , 4HWW, RDPD and Think and Grow Rich so she can see why my mind set and thoughts are different but she says she's not ready. It's not like I want to change her as I'm with her for her but I think she thinks if I make the jump and try and pull into the fastlane, will she still fit into my life and what if it fails. We all know failure is good but to a slowlaner it can be difficult to understand.

Has anyone else been in this situation and should I be more inclined to keep my current ideas and goals to myself and do them in the background so the change happens while the relationship is going on and she doesn't notice the change as much.
Think this is the real challenge everyone has in relationships. You just have to be successful and if someone's meant to stay they will stay. I have found this out myself, you really can't stay in the same place because other people aren't there yet.
 

Primeperiwinkle

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Everything in the Salon article was non-sense, out of context and a lie.

The link you posted amounts to "Ayn Rand said something". It doesn't say why what she said is right / wrong / moral / immoral.

If you want to prove her as being immoral, then give a reason.

Also, CS Lewis equating mystical-magic (such as voodoo) with science is drivel.

Alrighty then we’ll just agree to disagree! Lol
 

Bertram

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i don't believe in meaningful connections with anyone whether it be love or friendship.

this is TV BS

this thing is not reality at all. :



View attachment 25202



i believe in human nature.

a capitalist society is not a communist one.

remember Ayn Rand and the virtue of selfisfness ?

you can't be selfish in a capitalist society and care at the same time . you have to choose

yes this is not politicaly correct but i don't care. i care about the truth


quotation :

"LAW 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES

Be wary of friends—they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. "

from the 48 laws of power .





.
 

Bertram

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i don't believe in meaningful connections with anyone whether it be love or friendship.

this is TV BS

this thing is not reality at all. :



View attachment 25202



i believe in human nature.

a capitalist society is not a communist one.

remember Ayn Rand and the virtue of selfisfness ?

you can't be selfish in a capitalist society and care at the same time . you have to choose

yes this is not politicaly correct but i don't care. i care about the truth


quotation :

"LAW 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES

Be wary of friends—they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. "

from the 48 laws of power .





.
i don't believe in meaningful connections with anyone whether it be love or friendship.

this is TV BS

this thing is not reality at all. :



View attachment 25202



i believe in human nature.

a capitalist society is not a communist one.

remember Ayn Rand and the virtue of selfisfness ?

you can't be selfish in a capitalist society and care at the same time . you have to choose

yes this is not politicaly correct but i don't care. i care about the truth


quotation :

"LAW 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES

Be wary of friends—they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. "

from the 48 laws of power .





.
You are excellent at creating meaningful relationships, Black King.
 
Last edited:

Bryan James

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Yeah I've been there plenty of times. After a while I just realized that it's better to be single than be in a relationship that doesn't fulfill you. No shame in that. Perhaps you'll eventually meet someone who understands you and your goals. Or not. Either way, don't force it because it'll be naturally met with resistance to some degree. Remind yourself of what your #1 priority is and sacrifice everything that blocks your access to fulfilling that priority. Want to be her loving, doting husband no matter what? Give her your time and get a job or slowlane career. You'll get/keep her (from what I know about her, which is sparse at best). Want to be a successful fastlane entrepreneur? Tell her what's up. If she isn't on board, no hard feelings. If she is on board, awesome. Depends on what your #1 priority is and how much you're willing to sacrifice to fulfill that priority.
 

Agnes

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Yeah I've been there plenty of times. After a while I just realized that it's better to be single than be in a relationship that doesn't fulfill you. No shame in that. Perhaps you'll eventually meet someone who understands you and your goals. Or not. Either way, don't force it because it'll be naturally met with resistance to some degree. Remind yourself of what your #1 priority is and sacrifice everything that blocks your access to fulfilling that priority. Want to be her loving, doting husband no matter what? Give her your time and get a job or slowlane career. You'll get/keep her (from what I know about her, which is sparse at best). Want to be a successful fastlane entrepreneur? Tell her what's up. If she isn't on board, no hard feelings. If she is on board, awesome. Depends on what your #1 priority is and how much you're willing to sacrifice to fulfill that priority.

This is my experience as well, though I am on the other side. As a woman I look towards the fastlane, but at the same time I meet men who are super-intelligent, smart, but without ambition, who don't want to do anything in their life. Is there a positive example for a good relationship between fastlaner and slowlaner? Is it a question of love and acceptance or it is an illusion?
 

Tourmaline

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@Agnes If you have more ambition than your man, it will be difficult to accept him.
 

Seamster

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This is friggin' huge. HUGE. If something is a big deal to you, and your partner doesn't take that seriously, there are bigger problems there than entrepreneurship as a career path...

...Also, if you guys are going on a long drive and flight, maybe download some key books onto Audible and listen to them on your phone.

These are good things to try! I always try to make people read Rich Dad or Millionaire Next Door. If they don't read for me I have to remind myself that my whole life this person will never read a book for me. Now, maybe she can watch at video or audiobook instead, or come with me to a seminar. People intake info in different ways. But, if she won't try ANYTHING, then realize that you're on your own make the BOTH of you rich.
 

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