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Arousing Interest in Others - How to Win Friends & Influence People

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TheDillon__

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Hey all!

Finally taking the time to read through this classic.

I've just finished reading chapter three, and I think everyone in this forum can benefit from some discussion on arousing a want in another person.

It seems like attaining this skill will aliviate one of issues like unmotivated employees, I excited customers, or lack of a business idea. So far, this is the most profitable skill in the book!

That said, for everything it offers, I feel it's more complex. (Or hopefully I'm making a mountain of a molehill here!)

How do you even find out what the other party wants or is motivated by?

Then, how do you act on that without appearing disingenuous or as if you're simply saying what they want to hear?

Many thanks!
 
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TheGrind

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It's simple. Take a moment to put yourself in their position and you'll clearly see the other persons wants and motivations.

Don't overthink it, just take a moment to really put yourself in their place.
 

superb

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Excellent book and one that periodically gets re-read!

Get them talking about their pains. This will arouse desire within them. Then, show them how what your offering can fulfill those desires.

It's as simple as taking interest, listening and then tailoring your pitch to highlight the aspects of your offering that would fulfill those desires. And be genuinely interested. You have to be. People see right through it if you're not. You have to be genuinely interested in helping others be happier, healthier or wealthier in the ways that they want to be.
 

TheDillon__

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It's simple. Take a moment to put yourself in their position and you'll clearly see the other persons wants and motivations.

Don't overthink it, just take a moment to really put yourself in their place.

Thanks for taking the time to reply!

I had a feeling it's simpler than I'm making it. It just seems hard as a college kid to put myself in place of business professionals.

Though the more time I spend around them, the easier it should be!
 
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TheDillon__

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Excellent book and one that periodically gets re-read!

Get them talking about their pains. This will arouse desire within them. Then, show them how what your offering can fulfill those desires.

It's as simple as taking interest, listening and then tailoring your pitch to highlight the aspects of your offering that would fulfill those desires. And be genuinely interested. You have to be. People see right through it if you're not. You have to be genuinely interested in helping others be happier, healthier or wealthier in the ways that they want to be.

Thanks for replying!

It definitely seems like curiousity and genuine interest are key factors here.

That said, I feel like there's a looming skepticism when looking for these pains in a cold-approach environment. How do you combat this?
 
G

Guest34764

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If you want to know what another one wants you just have to simply talk to them, so let them ramble on and become a great listener.Everyone nowadays is so "I" focused so it shouldn't be hard to listen in.
 

TheDillon__

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If you want to know what another one wants you just have to simply talk to them, so let them ramble on and become a great listener.Everyone nowadays is so "I" focused so it shouldn't be hard to listen in.

Absolutely, and I appreciate the reply.

Though I find it interesting that many people have sticking points like this when it comes to cold approach.

People often, at least in my experience, seem more skeptical of your motive when I call to ask this very question, not even attempting to sell a product!

I wonder why this is and how it can be combated.
 
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Guest34764

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People often, at least in my experience, seem more skeptical of your motive when I call to ask this very question, not even attempting to sell a product!

I wonder why this is and how it can be combated.

Well, you have to understand that anyone who get's called by a stranger and the stranger is trying to start a random conversation could weird them out.I'd surely be skeptical if a random stranger gave me a call like that.

A casual conversation in person is much easier than it is over a phone.If you can have a casual conversation with someone you're trying to sell to I bet you could almost 100% sell to them.

Keep your calls focused on the objective, but be as friendly as possible.If you run off on a tangent then you'll surely seem unfocused and clearly unfit to be selling to anyone.

I hope that helped, I'm no expert in this area.
 

TheDillon__

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Well, you have to understand that anyone who get's called by a stranger and the stranger is trying to start a random conversation could weird them out.I'd surely be skeptical if a random stranger gave me a call like that.

A casual conversation in person is much easier than it is over a phone.If you can have a casual conversation with someone you're trying to sell to I bet you could almost 100% sell to them.

Keep your calls focused on the objective, but be as friendly as possible.If you run off on a tangent then you'll surely seem unfocused and clearly unfit to be selling to anyone.

I hope that helped, I'm no expert in this area.

Makes sense! I'll see if I can't find any meetups or networking events for my demographic and get some conversations going there.

Or maybe pulling a Grant Cardone and try to stay hyper-focused on a few calls and see how that goes!

I appreciate the insight.
 

GMSI7D

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It's simple. Take a moment to put yourself in their position and you'll clearly see the other persons wants and motivations.

Don't overthink it, just take a moment to really put yourself in their place.


The problem is that i am a rational person and most people are not rational. By the way , this is a problem in my dating life.

To quote Eben Pagan ( http://getaltitude.com/ ) " customers are irrational".


So i can't really see life like a customer, i can only test things.

let me explain :

last week, i saw an old lady standing in the bus and i told myself " she wants to sit maybe i should tell her to take my sit "

but guess what ? people don't think like me or you

she told me " i don't want to sit, don't bother me "

So , i can't know what people think because they are irrational like the old lady.

I can only test things , not guessing and Eben Pagan's work is about that.



 
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