Am I "Hitchhiking" Someone Else's Fastlane?

[Guest92dX]

Hi guys,

I did some research on the forums and didn't turn up a definitive answer from people who have a lot of speed points. I didn't turn up an answer from people who have proven or well respected results.

I'm really taking that "Do as I do" thing to heart. It feels right.

So there's a section in the TMF book that says you need control and not to be a hitchhiker.

My problem is that I have a partner I'm working with who hasn't really turned over any passwords or worked to setup legal and accounting practices or financing this operation. Our site is almost built according to him, but I don't see why I should bust my a$$ for him if he is going to be stingy with passwords and fight me at every turn.

We agreed that he owns 60% of the business. He and his team built the website. I'm running operations and doing day to day things. A few months back, I thought this was a god send because I was having a rough go of things.

My gut is giving me a bad feeling though about him and his character. Today we had a conversation where he feels like the site is done. It's not even close to done in my opinion. I told him I'd like to get started as soon as possible because I need a way to start making money.

However, I feel like I'm doing "hitchhiking" on his fastlane.

cliff notes:

1. It feels like my partner is not being forthright about something.
2. He is being stingy with access control even though I'm his 40% partner, had the idea, and will be running day to day operations.
3. Insulted me indirectly

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Unless you have something in writing, you have no agreement. And probably no legal leg to stand on. You're essentially gambling with poor odds.

 

[Harbourmaster]

If this is how your partner is acting this early on, essentially with no money at stake, imagine how you two will get along once you hit $1MM in sales, etc...

After you came up with the idea, why did you give up 60%? What was so special about their skill set that you needed them to build a website for you at such a heavy cost?

To be honest, this sounds like a very risky partnership at best. It sounds like they took your idea and you are now positioned to be their employee. If you are committed to sticking with this arrangement, I would tread with caution and get things in writing ASAP.

 

[Guest92dX]

Unless you have something in writing, you have no agreement. And probably no legal leg to stand on. You're essentially gambling with poor odds.

Thanks for the response.

The problem goes deeper than what I outlined.

So, the next step is to get everything in writing?

I'm going to finish this legal aid clinic application tomorrow and have a heart to heart with him.

I really can't stomach another failure for a bad reason.

This will be #6 if I have to walk away from it.

 

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[Guest92dX]

If this is how your partner is acting this early on, essentially with no money at stake, imagine how you two will get along once you hit $1MM in sales, etc...

After you came up with the idea, why did you give up 60%? What was so special about their skill set that you needed them to build a website for you at such a heavy cost?

To be honest, this sounds like a very risky partnership at best. It sounds like they took your idea and you are now positioned to be their employee. If you are committed to sticking with this arrangement, I would tread with caution and get things in writing ASAP.

Yeah, this is what I'm thinking.

Here's why I needed him:

He has the resources to build a well designed WordPress site.

I don't have excess cash to do this.

I know how to read a little code and get my hands dirty with mobile apps, but WordPress is an entirely different beast as far as I know. It requires knowing how to deal with complex "theme" coding.

I only have 1 year of experience with coding and can't build or architect anything myself from scratch. That's really hard. Only experience teaches it.

The problem goes deeper than what I outlined. Like how he essentially said I was lazy today indirectly even though I have mental illness. Keyword indirectly because I would have ended the partnership immediately if he said it directly. I don't even know why he or we brought up "jobs" when we're talking about a business and me saying I needed extra money.

He didn't even call the guy I referred to him yesterday who is trying to give him money.

Spoiler: Backstory if you care

I was literally walking around to shops in my city to refer him clients a few months back. I had just put in thousand x'th application and been rejected. A guy I was referring to him was jerking me around and wouldn't even deal with me on a first name basis. He kept using a fake "street" nickname. I really just broke down when I got back to my house. I had put in like 1k or 2k job applications over 2 years. Some of the most promising job interviews I couldn't even go to because I don't have reliable transportation. Took 6 years to get my Ferrari college degree from a super high ranked college because I was derailed by mental illness and nearly dying. I messed up bad applying over spring break in my final year because I didn't understand corporate requirements were hard and fast rules. I never had "job application" training and applied for lots of stuff I was well under qualified for. I'm probably blacklisted now which sucks. So, I started learning skills and nothing. Rinse repeat. New skills nothing. I've had 2 jobs over the last two years that didn't require a college degree. I can't even get a retail job because checking off the disability section puts me in the trash pile. I have to see the doctor at least 1 once a month. I need a avenue where time is on my side, which is why I'm doing entrepreneurship.

My partner really hurt my feelings today when he said I'm lazy. I've been fighting adversity all my life.

Minority. Check.
Mental illness. Check.
Poverty. Check.

 

[Harbourmaster]

Yeah, this is what I'm thinking.

Here's why I needed him:

He has the resources to build a well designed WordPress site.

I don't have excess cash to do this.

I know how to read a little code and get my hands dirty with mobile apps, but WordPress is an entirely different beast as far as I know. It requires knowing how to deal with complex "theme" coding.

I only have 1 year of experience with coding and can't build or architect anything myself from scratch. That's really hard. Only experience teaches it.

The problem goes deeper than what I outlined. Like how he essentially said I was lazy today indirectly even though I have mental illness. Keyword indirectly because I would have ended the partnership immediately if he said it directly. I don't even know why he or we brought up "jobs" when we're talking about a business and me saying I needed extra money.

He didn't even call the guy I referred to him yesterday who is trying to give him money.

Spoiler: Backstory if you care

I was literally walking around to shops in my city to refer him clients a few months back. I had just put in thousand x'th application and been rejected. A guy I was referring to him was jerking me around and wouldn't even deal with me on a first name basis. He kept using a fake "street" nickname. I really just broke down when I got back to my house. I had put in like 1k or 2k job applications over 2 years. Some of the most promising job interviews I couldn't even go to because I don't have reliable transportation. Took 6 years to get my Ferrari college degree from a super high ranked college because I was derailed by mental illness and nearly dying. I messed up bad applying over spring break in my final year because I didn't understand corporate requirements were hard and fast rules. I never had "job application" training and applied for lots of stuff I was well under qualified for. I'm probably blacklisted now which sucks. So, I started learning skills and nothing. Rinse repeat. New skills nothing. I've had 2 jobs over the last two years that didn't require a college degree. I can't even get a retail job because checking off the disability section puts me in the trash pile. I have to see the doctor at least 1 once a month. I need a avenue where time is on my side, which is why I'm doing entrepreneurship.

My partner really hurt my feelings today when he said I'm lazy. I've been fighting adversity all my life.

Minority. Check.
Mental illness. Check.
Poverty. Check.

As someone that has had very close family members affected by mental health, I appreciate the additional struggle that you face. At this point, your mental health is priority number one and it is great you are seeing the doctor regularly.

With that being said, having a successful business is a long-term process and goal for everyone that aspires to financial independence. I would continue to learn the skills necessary to build the business that you are looking to create. Slow and steady wins the race. No need to jump into partnerships that do not sit right with you.

It seems like you are doing a lot of the right things and I wish you nothing but the best in your entrepreneurial endeavours.

 

[sparechange]

sounds like ur getting ripped off, please do yourself a favor and get ahold of a lawyer for a free consultation.

theres nothing stopping him screwing you over big time as MJ said since you have no legal forms.

best of luck to you, mental illnesses are the truest form of adversity

 

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[Guest92dX]

@Harbourmaster

Thanks. I'm well by all means. The only triggers I have come when I'm facing stressful situations like overbearing interviews, which makes performing for the interview that much harder.

I also meditate and work on non-duality.

What skills do you suggest I learn?
Any specific books?

I'm learning how to drive traffic right now through PPC, blogging, outreach, etc.

I've spent lots of time building things only to realize I didn't have the capital or traffic to see success. This time I started backwards or forwards if you will to see if people want or need something first.

I've yet to find a definitive answer on whether it's possible to build products through pre-orders.

If it's possible to do something like this. I think I can make my first few dollars.

I downloaded product launch formula on audiobook as well as ready.fire.aim and pumpkin plan.

I need some know how on launching products.

I can test, verify, and build, but I need information on executing.

 

[Thoelt53]

Unfortunately no one cares that you have a disability, or that you're a minorty, or that you're poor. No one.

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but that's the reality of the world we live in. No one cares about you. They care about themselves.

Why does this website need to be so complex? Is it your product?

 

[Guest92dX]

@sparechange

Yeah, tomorrow I'm going to finish my legal clinic application to get a lawyer on my side. They aren't elite lawyers, but some legal representation is better than none.

 

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[Guest92dX]

Unfortunately no one cares that you have a disability, or that you're a minorty, or that you're poor. No one.

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but that's the reality of the world we live in. No one cares about you. They care about themselves.

Why does this website need to be so complex? Is it your product?

For automation, it's to make sure we can get the business scalable.

It's "lagoon" territory according to TMF . We're trying to do a state based business.

There are some startups popping up in this territory so it's proven.

It's a service business. I don't want to give it away because there are so many bad competitors popping up already because I talked about it too soon.

 

[million$$$smile]

Look, first of all if you decide to stick with this 'partner,' you have to have some form of 'leverage' or control, because you are dealing with someone that has control over you now.

Find your 'CONTROL'. That is your leverage. If you are in a 40% partnership make sure you have at least 40% of the control that only YOU can control.

Work on figuring out what THAT is, and you create uncompromising VALUE and control.

Remember, you are a partner, albeit minority. Rather than focusing on the negativity of feeling loss of control, focus on where you can gain the upper hand to qualify (and quantify) the why of your position, ie partnership.

This is business. It sounds as though your partner might be trying to 'bully' his position.

It is up to you to decide what you are willing to accept. But make the requirement with leverage. That makes you valuable not only in your eyes but his as well.

This is about risk. You have to consider if this arrangement (partnership) is worth the risk and assess if you can live with the ramifications therein.

Partnerships are like marriages. Over 50% fail.

You need to decide how to be proactive rather than reactive.

Disclaimer: This is only my opinion. Nothing more. Feel free to ignore it if it doesn't resonate.

 

[MattR82]

My uncle lost his business he worked on for over 10 years (local business magazine) when he entered into a partnership on a handshake.

I can't really give advice, I don't have personal experience, but would be interested if people think it's a better idea to just have the legal documents done up but keep the lawyers out of the picture. Don't "lawyer up" on him but pass him the reasonable legal agreement/documents for him to sign yourself.

 

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[TonyStark]

F*ck that. Go into business on your own. I learnt everything I built on my own; you should too.

 

[Lucious]

Wait you value him so much because he knows how to make word press websites?

You don't need to know code to start a word press website. You can create one yourself. That is if you are willing to put the time in?

Also you can just pay someone to manage the website for you?

Am I missing something here as to why you have chosen this guy to do business with?

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

Wordpress isn't that difficult to code. Giving up 60% just for the website is overkill.

You might be better off working a retail job, saving money, and then building your own site for a few thousand.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

So, the next step is to get everything in writing?

The next step? It should have been your first step.

 

[lowtek]

Good news is that you've received quite a lot of education from this little venture.

Bad news is that this education may be all you get from it.

You can get the paperwork drawn up, and certainly do that first moving forward, but think ahead to the future. You have no resources now. How many resources would you have later to fight with a lawsuit? If you need to go that route, how would it play out do you think? You've stated you have mental health issues, so is a lawsuit something you can endure?

If not, I think there are enough red flags to bail out now before you invest more time into something with such an uncertain future. And I'm not talking about the typical uncertainty with business. Uncertainty surrounding the character of your partner is a whole different beast. If things are starting out bad, there is little reason to believe they will get better.

 

[amp0193]

My gut is giving me a bad feeling though about him and his character.

cliff notes:

1. It feels like my partner is not being forthright about something.
2. He is being stingy with access control even though I'm his 40% partner, had the idea, and will be running day to day operations.
3. Insulted me indirectly

Always go with your gut. Get out.

I really can't stomach another failure for a bad reason.

This will be #6 if I have to walk away from it.

Yes you can.

#6, #20... doesn't matter. It's irrelevant to the situation. Make a choice based on the evidence and what's in front of you.

Your gut says you don't trust him. So why waste anymore of your time.

Time to start thinking about #7.

 

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[Fox]

Start fresh.

You can build a website in 1-2 weeks with some online free lessons. You don't need to give up 60% and if you go back to a smaller percentage for him I doubt seeing him being a great partner.

A Wordpress site costs a few hundred dollars. A few thousand if it's detailed. If your dream is worth giving 60% of it away for that I'd focus on picking a bigger dream.

 

[Guest92dX]

Thanks for all the feedback guys. I really appreciate it.

I was giving up 60% to him because I thought he was cool with financing the project as well as building the site. It doesn't seem like he either trusts me, actually has the excess resources, or something else.

I need to check one more thing to see if he's doing something else without consulting me that erodes like 3 weeks of my time that I put in.

I'm definitely going to end it though and there may be hurt feelings on both sides because of "missing" out and "expectations". I will probably end up burning a business relationship or multiple ones. I also need a few projects off my lap anyway. I have 1 personal project, 1 idea test, this business idea, and probably something else I'm blanking on because it's late.

A part of me is just begging me to conclude everything so I can move forward and focus on one thing, especially my personal project.

I wish I had finished the TMF book before talking with him.

Everyone says get a partner. It's part of the "valley" talk, which I am starting to think all of it is koolaide and sugar instead of meat and potatoes.

I was laughed at when I was giving critical feedback about "the lean startup" in another forum. I've never even seen a consistent process espoused by everyone that can be reapplied twice even in the same industry.

In fact, I've never met a "lean" entrepreneur who was a millionaire. I mean just 1. One guy who can explain the process in-depth with repeatable actionable steps. The steps to the first sale should be similar for most businesses using the internet right? (Not being rhetorical or sarcastic).

I read 30% of "the lean startup" and stopped because I didn't see a lot of value in it. It wasn't telling me the "how-to" I needed, or how to ask the "why" that would show the way to the "how-to".

Now, I know from the TMF that you should reading anything relevant to the current problem that needs to be solved instead of looking for general how-to's.

Rant over.

Funny story, I came across TMF book years ago, but I thought it was a scam book because of the title. The title felt so cheesy.

I also came across one other life book that most people should read. I didn't pick that book up for years because of the cheesy title.

 

[HackVenture]

I see so many red flags here. Most importantly, if you're not feeling comfortable so early on, things are just going to get worse from here.

If you decide to get out of this and need some money to sustain yourself, I would suggest taking up some freelance projects, strengthen your skillsets and going for your fastlane on your own?

Like someone mentioned above, giving away 60% just for some Wordpress skills doesn't sound like a good trade.

Big kudos to you for wanting to go fastlane despite your illness, much respect for that.

Please feel free to me PM me if you're looking for any help.

 

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[Guest92dX]

Thanks for the responses guys!

I really appreciate it.

I took EVERY suggestion everyone made. The first thing I did was ask for access control to things I needed. My partner left me hanging out to dry and didn't respond or follow through.

The second thing I did was contact some legal clinics and fill out their application. Well, you get what free gets you and they couldn't support me so legal docs were out, and I don't trust his lawyer.

The third thing I did was file for a bigger funded legal clinic aimed at "startups" and new businesses. I hear from them in two weeks.

The fourth and most important thing I did was walk away. When Option 1 failed, I went to option 2 and tried to get docs for him to sign.

When Option 2 failed, I went straight to Option 4.

I filed Option 3 for my own purposes for the future. This is definitely a solo path though as are most things in life.

Lesson learned. The lesson is that I can do this myself and it has to be done by myself.

All the best to everyone,

 

[Ninjakid]

Literally more red flags here than 1950's Soviet Union.

If that doesn't make you get out, I don't know what will.

 

[Guest92dX]

Literally more red flags here than 1950's Soviet Union.

If that doesn't make you get out, I don't know what will.

I left the partnership a few days ago as suggested when my partner left me hanging about legal docs and access control. It's done now.

 

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[Ninjakid]

I left the partnership a few days ago as suggested when my partner left me hanging about legal docs and access control. It's done now.

good man