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O/T: HEALTH Am I depressed, lost or just lazy?

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srodrigo

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For instance: Do you really want to be an entrepreneur? Or do you go after it because it is sexy these days?

I thought that is what I wanted too. For a really long time. Until I realise that I want a certain kind of freedom + the ability to live on the edge of my skills constantly. I am not interested in pure entrepreneurship, though I know that I will help me with my goals.
Sometimes I wonder about this exact thing as well.
 

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arl

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For instance: Do you really want to be an entrepreneur? Or do you go after it because it is sexy these days?

I'm not sure I do. What I'm really sure I want is the kind of freedom you can only get once you have a fastlane venture. I guess entrepreneurship for me is just a means to an end.

A forum isn't really a great place to get this kind of support, by the way. Things that are meaningful to one person might not mean much to you. For example, for a lot of people, thinking about 'what is the next best thing I can do right now to improve things' is empowering. For me, its defeating. It paralyzes me by making me try to figure out what the 'best' option is. Instead, changing that thought to 'what is something I can do in this next minute to improve things' made all the difference. Being able to talk with someone that can help you think through this kind of thing is worth its weight in gold.

I agree that a forum is probably not the best place to get medical advice. To be honest I just needed to vent when I started the thread, but I actually got some useful advice out of it.
 

Benedict

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How does one find their passion? How do you find purpose in life
That's what many people ask. Belief me.

Where I would is start to ask questions like:

When in life did you feel really alive?
What makes you rage?
If you had only 3 years left to life - how would you spend that time?
If you knew you couldn't fail - what would you start today?
If money didn't play a role in your life - what would you start today?
....
There are a lot more but if you answer those you might start to feel again. And only emotion drive you.

Then you can dig deeper - why did you feel alive in that moment? Why was it so special? What did it fulfill for you?

That's how you discover your values.
If you know them you have something like a compass that shows you what needs to be fulfilled for you to feel happy and fulfilled.

There's a lot more you can do. But if you start there, this could get you going.
 

Envious

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Oh yea that goes without saying. Thing is if you are depressed enough, you don't get moving. I say because I've been there. I love painting, reading, occasional videogaming etc. but at my lowest I'd "meh" everything, even the things I loved the most, and just sleep. If you can have a buddy that pushes you a bit to get out or do some of those with you it can help a lot.




Don't be, believe me it helps 200%. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. A good counselor isn't pushy. They just ask questions, comment on things that make you think or suggestions that you hadn't thought of, you're the one having the "aha" moment. It doesn't have to be a super deep talk like sometimes they picture it. It's just an objective professional listening to your situation and helping you help yourself pretty much. Please don't discard it based on perceptions if you've never done it! :)
This was 100% me a few years ago. Everything I used to enjoy just seemed so bland. I ended up sleeping the days away for a good couple of months.

I didn't want to take pills at the time so I went and paid for therapy, best thing I did!
 

Ninjakid

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It sounds like you're suffering from depression.

My advice would be see a psychiatrist.

In the meantime, take care of your health as best you can. Get adequate sleep, vitamin D, eat a wholesome diet, exercise, drink enough water, all the essentials.

You'd be amazed at how much of depression is related to physical health. I know someone who was suffering from serious depression, and when they went to the doctor it turns out the main cause was anemia.
 

Karl Anderson

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I would start with your biochemistry. (I know you probably did but I would look deeper) Diet shouldn’t be ruled out completely as a potential cause since you may be allergic to something that is considered “healthy”. There’s also mold illness (CIRS) from black mold and other molds that are more of a problem than most doctors say. Plus mold illness doesn’t always reveal itself in the respiratory system, it can effect different parts of the body including the brain.
 

bibbysoka

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It seems like you're very successful. Financially, you have it pretty good. Family and relationships seem good too. But you're not feeling complete for some reason, you don't have that drive or rewarding feeling from doing things like playing video games, watching a movie with the fam, travelling, etc. Can I ask - do you exercise? Do you practice things like meditation, reading, etc? Not saying these will 'cure' you by any means but maybe it would help to start adding these good habits into your life as a challenge. I'd also encourage you to look at your diet - are you eating healthy? Do you drink water, get enough vitamins? These are things that are important as a baseline.

Assuming by what you've said so far, I think you're just burnt out because of multiple factors. You can fix it though without going rock bottom. It starts with desire. You have to want to change. You have to want a new mentality for yourself.
 

James Klymus

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I feel like you do at times. Im in my 20's trying to figure out the trajectory of my life.

I know others have said it before, but if you're lonely, try new things. It's uncomfortable and your brain will make every excuse to get you to avoid trying new things. It will tell you you're an introvert, you dont feel good today, you're tired, it's too cold, whatever.

For example I'm into fitness, so at the gym I'll talk to people near me sometimes. I don't bug them, I don't say "hey I'm lonely and I want to make more friends, wanna be my friend?" It's like in business, you need to lead with value. Compliment them, if they're in shape ask them about their workout routine. Since I'm pretty knowledgeable on fitness, I can hold a conversation. Now when I go to the gym, There's almost always a few people there that I know and can strike a conversation. This used to be terrifying to me because I consider my self fairly introverted, but you start to find out that you're dealing with humans who are also insecure, afraid of awkward moments and looking silly.

I also got into shooting guns recently, and I go to the shooting range weekly, sometimes twice a week (Ammo gets expensive!). But I talk to people at the range. The employees recognize me and say hi to me now. I can hold a conversation with them. They even will hook me up with deals, all because I went out of my way to talk to them. Same thing with the gym.

Look at some of the places you frequent, Cafes, restaurants, grocery store, gym, work, anywhere, and strike up a conversation with someone. Don't expect it to go anywhere, carry the burden of conversation. And sometimes you'll find that people will be friendly and all of the sudden start carrying some of the conversation with you.

Social network is a big part of being a human, we are social creatures.
 

ChrisV

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I don't really find joy in life. I find joy sometimes in some activities. It's not like I'm depressed all the time. But I would say my default mood is apathy. I don't care much about anything.
I don't think anyone here can give you the keys to your own happiness.

As boring as it sounds you're probably dopamine deficient.
Health and nutrition has fascinated me the past 2 years, and everything I learned says when you feel bad, change what you eat.

He's actually 100% right, there's no profound philosophical answer here; Apathy is usually biochemical.

Screen Shot 2020-03-01 at 3.29.55 PM.png

There are a bunch of threads on the topic here if you run a search.

 

GravyBoat

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For anyone struggling with "What's the point" questions:

At our house, we have an "authenticity board." We have each house mate's name written down on a big white board, and under it, anything they can think of that's authentic to them.

What would you be doing with your time if money/time wasn't an issue?

What do you ACTUALLY enjoy doing? Could be anything.

Go buy a whiteboard and write down everything you can think of.

Now, how do you spend more time doing these activities? Will a business allow you to get there? Can you monetize any of them? Can your business be in one of your authentic fields?

Here's my list, for example:
IMG_2118.jpg
 

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sparechange

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I used to be into gaming as well. But now I just feel like it's a waste of time and I don't enjoy it anymore... But you are probably right, I'm definitely dopamine defficient. I'm having a hard time finding activities to enjoy.




I don't have a partner, and I think that's a big part of the problem. I feel very lonely. But I also think that's not the answer. Before I'm able to be happy with someone else, I believe I should be able to be happy alone.

You might be one of those crazy people that needs to do adrenaline sports like jumping out of a plane, high speed race car driving and stuff like that.

One way to get the blood pumping
 

daniel_m

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For anyone struggling with "What's the point" questions:

At our house, we have an "authenticity board." We have each house mate's name written down on a big white board, and under it, anything they can think of that's authentic to them.

What would you be doing with your time if money/time wasn't an issue?

What do you ACTUALLY enjoy doing? Could be anything.

Go buy a whiteboard and write down everything you can think of.

Now, how do you spend more time doing these activities? Will a business allow you to get there? Can you monetize any of them? Can your business be in one of your authentic fields?

Here's my list, for example:
View attachment 30820

nice. Is that an entrepreneur house?
 

GravyBoat

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nice. Is that an entrepreneur house?
Ya bro. I didn't post my roommates just cause I'll leave that up to them if they want to, but ya. We're in San Diego. Should come visit haha.
 

daniel_m

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Ya bro. I didn't post my roommates just cause I'll leave that up to them if they want to, but ya. We're in San Diego. Should come visit haha.

Awesome man. How were you able to find other people down to do that? Having a house that's always buzzing is something I've wanted to do for a while
 

GravyBoat

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Awesome man. How were you able to find other people down to do that? Having a house that's always buzzing is something I've wanted to do for a while
Off this very forum, in fact.

But not just here, you have to meet up in person, offline. Post a meetup thread in your city and get a group going. Those people have friends too, tell them to invite anyone entrepreneurial.

Network like crazy.

Gary Vee had a post on his IG where he told people to go in the comments and post their city if they were looking for hustler roommates. What a GREAT value add. That is some life changing shit right there.

Not sure which direction my life would have gone had I not made the move in with like minded people.

I recommend 100%. These are in fact your true "friends" that you have the most in common with. You need to network and talk to as many people as possible. Find ones you click with and pull the trigger.
 

RyanLPainter

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As I start writing this, I'm not sure if this is a question or just a rant, but there it goes...

I've always said to myself and others that my goal is to become an entrepeneur. But this year I turned 30 and I still have nothing to show for it.

I have a somewhat successful slowlane career in the Financial Planning and Analysis field. I don't hate it, but I know it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I half a$$ it most of the time, but they are somehow still happy with my performance.

I own two apartments: one I rent, and the other I recently bought it to live in. With the rent from the first one I pay both mortgages and I still have a little bit left over.

I have a couple of good friends and a family that loves me, but I still feel very lonely all the time.

By most societal standards I have a sucessful life, but I am not happy at all. I've been telling to myself that I would be happy once I am an entrepreneur, but if I'm honest with myself I don't think that's the root of my unhappiness.

I have no desire to take my life, but I want often wonder what's is the point of it all. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm surviving life rather than living it.

After reading TFM, Unscripted and plenty of other books, I've been thinking a lot about what kind of venture could I start. Where can I provide value. I managed to think of a few a ideas, but nothing worth pursuing. It's like I have no passion for anything. I feel F*cking worthless.

I've now realized that before I start any business I need to work on myself. I have a very toxic attitude towards myself and that's most likely what's making me unhappy. If I am unable to love myself, it's unlikely someone else will.

I already exercise and try to eat healthy, but then what? How does one find their passion? How do you find purpose in life?
Thanks for sharing.

I've struggled with mental illness for years and thanks to medication, meditation and exercise, I've been able to manage. I started my business three months ago and could only have been able to do so after getting right eoth myself.

The scripted life tells you that regardless of your issues, just keep working at to our scripted job, keep plugging away mindlessly and you'll have time to manage yourself at the end of your life.

F that!

Focus on you and get yourself to a place where you can manage. This is the start of unscripting your life.

I was suicidal. I came withing a breath of succeeding in taking my life. This WAS the script telling me I wasn't good enough, so I didn't deserve to exist.

Again, F that!

Not only do you deserve to exist, but success deserves you.

Keep pushing and you'll find yourself, and then to our path.
 

GatsbyMag

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How often do you go to the gym?

It's unlikely to be a solution, but it will help keep you upbeat and ensure clarity in your mind while you try and handle this situation

Funny I stumbled across this thread today because I've had similar sentiments these last couple of days. Nothing is actually wrong with my life, I'm making progress in my goals and I'm happy about that, however sometimes I just feel like "meh" or "isn't there something more I should be doing?"

Like you, I thought it might be because I haven't been in a relationship in awhile. When I started dating recently, it seemed to get my mind off things, but didn't remedy the situation. It's like giving a beat up truck a new coat of red paint, just doesn't get the job done. You've got to fine-tune the engine to get that boy going.

I'm a man that relishes HIGH ACTIVITY.

I'm thinking of joining boxing/muay-thai classes. I also have some close friends that I've started to get in touch with again (we stopped talking briefly when we graduated). So maybe if I expend more time training and socialising, my situation might get better.

Perhaps you could have a similar plan of action?
 

Mainstream7

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This thread might help:

Not Fulfilled? Depressed? Maybe You Need An Alignment

We have the tendency to pursue what society says will make us happy over what truly make us happy. We go after "society success" over "happiness".

For instance: Do you really want to be an entrepreneur? Or do you go after it because it is sexy these days?

I thought that is what I wanted too. For a really long time. Until I realise that I want a certain kind of freedom + the ability to live on the edge of my skills constantly. I am not interested in pure entrepreneurship, though I know that I will help me with my goals.

Further, I believe we discover what make us happy and our purpose by trying things. Be curious, follow your curiosity, remove all the layers of "society happiness rules"...

I would have never guessed that I enjoy stories and storytelling. But yet I followed my curiosity and I am dedicating time to it.

Never stop. It might be today, or tomorrow, or in 5 years. In hindsight, you will connect the dots.

I agree. Let's say Storytelling. Wait 5-10 years being a "pure entrepreneur"(building a startup you hardly care about) to do what has meaning to you(storytelling)? No, thanks.
Rather you can start now with storytelling, build it up, provide value with it, scale it somehow. It has meaning to you.
 

sparechange

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As I start writing this, I'm not sure if this is a question or just a rant, but there it goes...

I've always said to myself and others that my goal is to become an entrepeneur. But this year I turned 30 and I still have nothing to show for it.

I have a somewhat successful slowlane career in the Financial Planning and Analysis field. I don't hate it, but I know it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I half a$$ it most of the time, but they are somehow still happy with my performance.

I own two apartments: one I rent, and the other I recently bought it to live in. With the rent from the first one I pay both mortgages and I still have a little bit left over.

I have a couple of good friends and a family that loves me, but I still feel very lonely all the time.

By most societal standards I have a sucessful life, but I am not happy at all. I've been telling to myself that I would be happy once I am an entrepreneur, but if I'm honest with myself I don't think that's the root of my unhappiness.

I have no desire to take my life, but I want often wonder what's is the point of it all. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm surviving life rather than living it.

After reading TFM, Unscripted and plenty of other books, I've been thinking a lot about what kind of venture could I start. Where can I provide value. I managed to think of a few a ideas, but nothing worth pursuing. It's like I have no passion for anything. I feel F*cking worthless.

I've now realized that before I start any business I need to work on myself. I have a very toxic attitude towards myself and that's most likely what's making me unhappy. If I am unable to love myself, it's unlikely someone else will.

I already exercise and try to eat healthy, but then what? How does one find their passion? How do you find purpose in life?


This might sound like reckless advice, and please feel free to ignore it.

Try extreme sports, jump off a cliff with a wing suit, skydiving, swimming with sharks in Florida, stuff like that to get the blood pumping. I have a few screws loose in my head, but sometimes doing adrenaline pumping stuff really gets me going (like bombing down a hill on a skateboard)

lol again, please feel free to ignore this advice :D

Another thing, life is all about the people you surround yourself, take the time to imagine hanging out with a bunch of drug addicts, what type of life experiences would that entail? On the flip side, imagine being friends with people like Richard Branson, or Elon musk, oh the adventures to be had in life.

In my experience, I've been happiest in my life when good people are around me, and that's while being broke as hell. I was working in a Ski resort going out every single day with awesome people, sometimes heading to the bar and straight off to the slopes. If I died and went to heaven, I'd pick that 4 month period of my life to relive on a loop.
 

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Crawls2

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Like a few others have said, some counseling could bring clarity into your life. I did it for a while back in college and it's really what helped me get through the my senior year.

I'm 28 now and have diagnosed anxiety and seasonal depression, I'm not saying you have either, but I know that low, meaningless feeling very well. What helps me the most is exercise. I get up at 5am and workout first thing in the morning, I go for jogs if I feel bored, and I go mountain biking every Sunday morning with a group of people. I get that feedback loop and feel like I've accomplished something for myself.

You should look for something you can throw your whole self into. It doesn't have to be a business or exercise. Just something to put effort into. Doesn't have to be anything serious either. Fancy Legos? Play with Legos. Pottery, gardening, programming, art, anything really.
 

TheFitVegan

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Happiness is not something that comes from outside. It comes from inside. You will have to find your cause of happiness.
Also, about the business thing, it doesn't matter if you are 30 or 20 or whatever. You need an idea or at least a thought as to what you want to do. You can select a business as per the work you really like to do. Do not term it as business initially. Start it as a hobby and as you get better at it, move ahead with it as a career. Till then continue with your job.
This will you will be busy with your work and so wouldn't have to worry about the unhappiness continuously and you will be enjoying your hobby which will give you happiness.
 

Impacto

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How are you doing, have things improved?

This thread hits home because I've had similar issues. I always struggled to find my purpose and I've always struggled to connect with people, which made things much harder. Even though I had a good fake social game, that does not lead to anything meaningful. So I focused on making money and out of the blue I got an idea. I made a youtube channel, started uploading other people's content as it was not an issue at the time, it was an unexplored market of sorts. Anyway long story short I made some money, not a lot by any means, but more than I ever had and it was so quick that it took me by surprise.

This made me complacent. I stopped learning, stopped improving for a time. At the same time I got promoted at work. I thought this will make people like me and respect me even more, but at the new job I lost all my connections. You see before, I was everywhere, talking with everybody and now I was in an office, with 10 times easier job but no one to socialize with. Then my youtube channel died, people realised they can make money themselves with their content and there was no reason for it to exist, really. So it died, but I saved almost everything.

I slowly became unhappier and unhappier even though I had everything I really needed. I had money in the bank to survive this pandemic. I just bought a new car that I never drove, because I discovered I was scared of driving. I wanted to invest, but I did not know where to start. I did not know, because I did not look.

And then I decided it can't continue like this. I decided that I need to change my environment. So I started making noise to move abroad, and then an unfortunate tragedy presented an opportunity. I didn't think twice, I took it and I came here in Italy to start a new chapter.

I had the same mentality as you - "maybe I need to hit rock bottom for something to happen.", I said to myself. Oh boy, how stupid was that. Don't do this, seriously! You know what happened with that mentality? I did hit rock bottom. I lost all my money. Yeah, C0VlD happened, but I was gonna lose them anyway. My mindset was f*cked.

I thought that changing my environment will change me. It didn't. My issues remained the same. I was depressed for a long time. Playing games and fitness did not help much, they kept me going but they are not solving the issue.

The issue is your mentality, the things you say to yourself. My change started when I realized this. I started reading Think and Grow Rich. This was the start, I changed my mindset a little bit. Because of that change I found some good youtube channels. Through them I found Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Then, just a week or two ago, I have no idea how, but I found this forum. I seriously do not remember how I found it, it's a complete blank. I just did and found so much valuable info I thought it never existed.

In those few months, I found clarity. Now I know what I want. I discovered it and I decided. I also recognize my fears and that I have to attack them every time they show up. I did that today, and I am doing it now as well. I also found out the power of helping others. If there is only one thing you learn from reading this, let that be the helping of other people. Just try it. It brings great joy and may come around when you least expect it.

Today I know what I want and what my purpose is. I still have a lot of things to figure out, a lot of issues to iron out, but I am in a better place mentally than 6 months ago, even though I have no money at the moment. I know I will make money soon, I will find a way, I always do.

My advice to you(and to me) is - Try things! Try, try, try. Take action, don't read about it too much, read a little bit and act. Then after you acted read some more. But act. And think. Think about what you love to do and how can you improve somebody's life when you do it. And then everything will fall into place.

All of this is so new to me, but it's so clear now.
 

Madman1996

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As I start writing this, I'm not sure if this is a question or just a rant, but there it goes...

I've always said to myself and others that my goal is to become an entrepeneur. But this year I turned 30 and I still have nothing to show for it.

I have a somewhat successful slowlane career in the Financial Planning and Analysis field. I don't hate it, but I know it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I half a$$ it most of the time, but they are somehow still happy with my performance.

I own two apartments: one I rent, and the other I recently bought it to live in. With the rent from the first one I pay both mortgages and I still have a little bit left over.

I have a couple of good friends and a family that loves me, but I still feel very lonely all the time.

By most societal standards I have a sucessful life, but I am not happy at all. I've been telling to myself that I would be happy once I am an entrepreneur, but if I'm honest with myself I don't think that's the root of my unhappiness.

I have no desire to take my life, but I want often wonder what's is the point of it all. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm surviving life rather than living it.

After reading TFM, Unscripted and plenty of other books, I've been thinking a lot about what kind of venture could I start. Where can I provide value. I managed to think of a few a ideas, but nothing worth pursuing. It's like I have no passion for anything. I feel F*cking worthless.

I've now realized that before I start any business I need to work on myself. I have a very toxic attitude towards myself and that's most likely what's making me unhappy. If I am unable to love myself, it's unlikely someone else will.

I already exercise and try to eat healthy, but then what? How does one find their passion? How do you find purpose in life?
Oh man you resemble me so much iam in the same situation brother find a sport or a hobby to do make sure your free time is spent on activity's so that your mind doesn't wander in negative thoughts I recommend Reading Victor Frankly and Simon Sinek start with why I did go to my box gym to re-sign again and I would recommend Evey faslaner to box it makes your prime and groom your Mindset it helps with mental toughness but watch out with sparring I love to help you more but sorry this is all I got brother stay strong
 
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SWHi

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As I start writing this, I'm not sure if this is a question or just a rant, but there it goes...

I've always said to myself and others that my goal is to become an entrepeneur. But this year I turned 30 and I still have nothing to show for it.

I have a somewhat successful slowlane career in the Financial Planning and Analysis field. I don't hate it, but I know it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I half a$$ it most of the time, but they are somehow still happy with my performance.

I own two apartments: one I rent, and the other I recently bought it to live in. With the rent from the first one I pay both mortgages and I still have a little bit left over.

I have a couple of good friends and a family that loves me, but I still feel very lonely all the time.

By most societal standards I have a sucessful life, but I am not happy at all. I've been telling to myself that I would be happy once I am an entrepreneur, but if I'm honest with myself I don't think that's the root of my unhappiness.

I have no desire to take my life, but I want often wonder what's is the point of it all. I feel like I don't have a purpose and I'm surviving life rather than living it.

After reading TFM, Unscripted and plenty of other books, I've been thinking a lot about what kind of venture could I start. Where can I provide value. I managed to think of a few a ideas, but nothing worth pursuing. It's like I have no passion for anything. I feel F*cking worthless.

I've now realized that before I start any business I need to work on myself. I have a very toxic attitude towards myself and that's most likely what's making me unhappy. If I am unable to love myself, it's unlikely someone else will.

I already exercise and try to eat healthy, but then what? How does one find their passion? How do you find purpose in life?

Hey man, I haven't browsed through the replies yet so this might not be any good to you by now, but i'll give you my opinions.

I can't tell you a whole lot about the entrepreneur/business side of things because i'm in a similar boat to you, but personally for me I find a lot of meaning in physical activity, doing regular exercise and training at a gym can definitely get boring, but you might find a lot of meaning in something like Jiu Jitsu, boxing, any sort of team sport possibly? I train in martial arts myself and I find that after you get settled with it all it is so fulfilling and you are always kept on your toes because you are improving health wise as well as building skills and testing them every time you go train.

Definitely a biased opinion but who knows might work for you too, most fulfilling thing i've ever taken up for sure.
 

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