The Entrepreneur Forum | Financial Freedom | Starting a Business | Motivation | Money | Success

The Entrepreneur's Forum for learning how to build wealth and financial freedom the Fastlane way!

Say "NO" to mediocre living rife with jobs, ascetic frugality, and suffocating savings rituals— learn how to build a Fastlane business that pays both freedom and lifestyle affluence. Join our forum with more than 70,000 entrepreneurs who are making it happen.
Join for FREE Today
Get the books
Remove ads? Join Fastlane INSIDERS
(Registration removes this block)

A Quick Remedy To Self-Doubt, is there such a thing?

Threads with an onging chat or conversation

Matt Lee

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Aug 9, 2022
79
222
I think a big problem among posters here and even myself at times is self-doubt.

Self-doubt is the same as self-sabotage in my book so I do not listen to it. I lay out everything in plain sight so I don't listen to it. It is the enemy. Self-sabotage is something I hate with all my heart so when it comes up and I am filled with nothing but hatred and vengeance. I know I'm being dramatic, but I seriously hate this shit.

Despite all of this, I admit sometimes I subconsciously question myself especially when I'm having a shitty day due to not sleeping enough or something I can't control.

It's similar to what MJ talks about in the desert of the dissertation.

I have an answer to this question personally as I write this post and even so I think it'd be a pretty fun discussion to have and younger folks will find massive value. Plus it'd be pretty cool to pick your brains and thought process.

My thought is, I even write this out on 1 of my 2 whiteboards so I am reminded every morning: to choose to endure and keep on going because this is where real changes happen. All momentum will break if you stop. Nothing is worse than giving up and starting 10 different things when you can carry one venture out to the end. You are always losing time if you choose to not commit. Tough times is when competitions start to fall off and it's a great filter for those that have a commitment vs a whim of motivation. Consistency brings forth geniuses and giving up creates nothing but a dented ego and low self-esteem.

My question to you:

When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

REV5028

Bronze Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
Oct 29, 2022
86
132
31
New Mexico
When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?
Thank you for making this post! I'm curious to see what others say in response. I think there will be great value (to me and, as you pointed out, likely other new members) in what longer-term entrepreneurs have to say.

When I was in grad school feelings of self doubt usually indicated that I needed to pause and take care of myself. Self doubt usually hit hardest when I wasn't eating right, sleeping well, or exercising enough. Lately it has also been helping me to look back at all the times I accomplished the things I set out to do; to remind myself of all the times I was capable of hard things and that the next hard thing won't be any different. In undergrad I used to tell myself "every experience, good or bad, is a learning opportunity." I told myself this so much that I think it has become my mindset: feel the feels, find and learn from the lesson, take action to implement the new knowledge gained, keep on keeping on. Having clear goals helped too. This all probably translates to the business world, but I'm still interested to see what others have to say.
 

Andy Black

Help people. Get paid. Help more people.
Staff member
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
May 20, 2014
15,819
58,264
Ireland
A few things off the top of my head:

1) Focus on who you're helping. Self-doubt indicates your thinking about yourself and not focused on who you're helping. If you saw an old lady drop her groceries would you have self-doubt or just go over and help her?

2) Your lizard brain wants you to be safe, even if it's not best in the long run. It's better than you at spotting something that will move you forward. See those urges to do something else as your lizard brain telling you what you're about to do is important. Double down on it - with glee.

3) Sometimes we avoid doing things because we don't think we're good enough, smart enough, experienced enough, charismatic enough, young enough, old enough, good looking enough, etc.

Feck that.

The next time you think that may be the reason you're not doing something just say:

I *am* enough. Because I say I am.

4) "Overthinking is the art of solving problems you don't have."

Do the first things first. This is how you move forward and get momentum.

5) Product-Founder fit. What can YOU do this week to make a sale? If it will take longer than a week then maybe that business idea isn't a good fit for you at the moment.

6) The market doesn't pay for navel gazing or even activity. The market doesn't gaf about you and your insecurities. This is a good thing. Go do it anyway.

All that soul searching you're doing? Ask yourself if you can invoice anyone for it.

7) "Tell me what you've done and I'll tell you who you are."

8) Do you want to be on team consumer or team producer? Producers produce. What have you produced this week?

9) "Just do it" isn't just about taking action. You could also read it as "Just do IT". What do you need to do? Go do that and stop fecking around doing other stuff.

10) Procrastination and perfectionism are close cousins. Both stem from fear of shipping. Both delay you helping people. Get over yourself and go help people.

11) Mentor yourself. Pretend you're advising yourself. What would you say? You probably already know.

12) "F*ck why. It only holds you back."

13) "What would Richard Branson do?" (Insert your own business/sport/life hero.)
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Matt Lee

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Aug 9, 2022
79
222
@Andy Black thanks for this post. So many things worth putting on a sticky note. In fact some of the things you said I already have a variation on my wall. Especially #3. One of my reminders is simply "winning is a choice and I am a winner". Also #10, "people are waiting for my work every single night sleeplessly scrolling their life away. If I stop or digress, these people would live miserable lives forever. So I have to put in the work today. Nothing gets better if no work is done today. Tomorrow doesn't exist".
All that soul searching you're doing? Ask yourself if you can invoice anyone for it.
I laugh when I read this because I think so too.

My stubborn 19-year-old self back then would probably disagree with you though. He was too busy with his feelings, self-pitying, and making a big deal out of the insignificant. He was raised and surrounded by people who preached about getting in touch with his feelings and being ok with weakness. I think if he was active on the Fastlane forum in 2020, then he would've learned what you wrote much sooner by interacting with and reading posts from winners.

It's funny because if anything it's not about searching for who I am. It's about building what I think I want, providing value, and letting my process mold me into the person I think I want to become.

Thought attracts experience and experience form character. Soul-searching, whilst important, can be a huge time-sinker and rob you of real experience. And without experience, you are a fake character. A fake character is mentally unstable and not going through a true metamorphosis.

I believe it's the aim, fire, and adjusting the course type of thing. Endless soul searching does nothing but make you more emotional and do nothing. Doing nothing is equivalent to being stagnant and dying. A proverb that came to mind is "idle hands, are the devil's plaything". It's always either growth or death as nature intends. Maybe physically we'll be alive and well for a few more decades if we do nothing, but mentally we committed seppuku a long time ago when we idle.
 

Ismail941

Silver Contributor
Read Rat-Race Escape!
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
May 7, 2019
528
570
What book of Seth's is this specifically? I am already intrigued!
Book Title: Linchpin: Are You Indispensable (2010)
Author: Seth Godin

Read All his Books and Demarco's books as well!
 
Last edited:

DavidePaco00

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
Jul 27, 2022
172
196
I think a big problem among posters here and even myself at times is self-doubt.

Self-doubt is the same as self-sabotage in my book so I do not listen to it. I lay out everything in plain sight so I don't listen to it. It is the enemy. Self-sabotage is something I hate with all my heart so when it comes up and I am filled with nothing but hatred and vengeance. I know I'm being dramatic, but I seriously hate this shit.

Despite all of this, I admit sometimes I subconsciously question myself especially when I'm having a shitty day due to not sleeping enough or something I can't control.

It's similar to what MJ talks about in the desert of the dissertation.

I have an answer to this question personally as I write this post and even so I think it'd be a pretty fun discussion to have and younger folks will find massive value. Plus it'd be pretty cool to pick your brains and thought process.

My thought is, I even write this out on 1 of my 2 whiteboards so I am reminded every morning: to choose to endure and keep on going because this is where real changes happen. All momentum will break if you stop. Nothing is worse than giving up and starting 10 different things when you can carry one venture out to the end. You are always losing time if you choose to not commit. Tough times is when competitions start to fall off and it's a great filter for those that have a commitment vs a whim of motivation. Consistency brings forth geniuses and giving up creates nothing but a dented ego and low self-esteem.

My question to you:

When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?
Self doubt is normal, personally I started gaining confidence when I saw that I had results, the most difficult part is making the first sale, after you realize that that is possible, you'll do as big as your goals are. The real no Bs solution to self doubt: suffer and don't quit, this will make you mentally strong as well :)
 

Johnny boy

Legendary Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Speedway Pass
May 9, 2017
2,260
11,361
26
Washington State
When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?

1. The contents of each man's mind will create his life. So look at other people's shit lives and realize that the contents of your mind must be different from theirs. Then realize that everything in your mind is just a choice to listen to one voice or another. Whenever hard times hit just think "this is where other normal losers give up, so I will push a little further and that will be the separation between me and them". Most thoughts I would have at the beginning would be the initial thought that everyone else would have, then the self awareness "that's what other average people do and think" and then I would look one step beyond it to see something more nuanced or wise.

2. After trusting my gut based on faith and seeing it work, I will never go back, ever. I trust my gut 2000% now.

Realize that everyone has a good reason and rationalization for where they end up. The janitor will justify his position in life and it will make sense to him. "It's a good job, I get good benefits, etc." Nobody is real enough to say they're just a shit muncher who picked the wrong life. So realize that everyone has stupid rationalizations and is full of BS about what to do, they are all rationalizing their position in life to you.
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Panos Daras

Contributor
Read Rat-Race Escape!
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Oct 10, 2022
57
32
I think a big problem among posters here and even myself at times is self-doubt.

Self-doubt is the same as self-sabotage in my book so I do not listen to it. I lay out everything in plain sight so I don't listen to it. It is the enemy. Self-sabotage is something I hate with all my heart so when it comes up and I am filled with nothing but hatred and vengeance. I know I'm being dramatic, but I seriously hate this shit.

Despite all of this, I admit sometimes I subconsciously question myself especially when I'm having a shitty day due to not sleeping enough or something I can't control.

It's similar to what MJ talks about in the desert of the dissertation.

I have an answer to this question personally as I write this post and even so I think it'd be a pretty fun discussion to have and younger folks will find massive value. Plus it'd be pretty cool to pick your brains and thought process.

My thought is, I even write this out on 1 of my 2 whiteboards so I am reminded every morning: to choose to endure and keep on going because this is where real changes happen. All momentum will break if you stop. Nothing is worse than giving up and starting 10 different things when you can carry one venture out to the end. You are always losing time if you choose to not commit. Tough times is when competitions start to fall off and it's a great filter for those that have a commitment vs a whim of motivation. Consistency brings forth geniuses and giving up creates nothing but a dented ego and low self-esteem.

My question to you:

When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?
There is a way to kill self doubt. Remember that everyone sucks. It is just that some people hide it better than others. So get out there and do stuff. Small everyday wins can get you a long way.
 

Black_Dragon43

Platinum Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
Apr 28, 2017
1,376
3,812
‍☠️ Eastern Europe (or UK)
When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?
Nowadays I don't have much self-doubt because I'm used to most of the things involved in running a business. I'm used to hiring people, firing people, paying taxes, running a company, building funnels/websites, writing copy, creating ads, designing, coaching, doing sales calls, booking appointments, talking with people, running a podcast, interviewing people, standing up for myself, publishing content, building a brand, blah blah blah. It's the same old, same old, so what's there to have doubts about?

So mindset in my opinion isn't very useful. It's all about conditioning yourself and getting used to things by forcing yourself to do them. Afraid of cold calling? Start cold calling. Create a script, write your answer to possible objections, and start getting on the phone. There's NO WAY to get on the phone without feeling anxious AF if you've never done it before. No visualization, no mindset, nothing!

When I first started out I was an anxious mess afraid of my own shadow. There was no mindset "trick" I could do to feel less anxious. Nothing! And believe me, I doubt there are many people here who have read more books about business and success than I have. I've tried everything - and nothing really worked. I was still scared. It was only by being repeatedly scared and afraid and still doing things that I became different. Was I less scared or more motivated due to some of the mindset stuff? Maybe - but the effect was minimal, fear was still very strongly there.

You can spend your time listening to the "life changing" books many folks will recommend. And then look at the lives of these same people. Most of them are in exactly the same place they've been in 10 years ago, more or less. You'll find millions of people who recommend you the law of attraction, for example, because it works. What "it works" means for them is that they found $100 on the floor. Or someone sent them $100 when they most needed it. What. The. F*ck? If the law of attraction works, then you should become a world-shattering hero, an Elon Musk. Not find $100 on the floor...

So to answer straight up, when I first got on my entrepreneurial journey I was depressed and told myself I will fail, but I was more afraid of not doing anything because then failure was guaranteed. So pretty much fear made me do it. Fear is a great ally. Be afraid of being a nobody. Be afraid of being a wage slave. Push yourself to run through the fire because you're so afraid of what will happen if you don't.
 

Antifragile

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Rat-Race Escape!
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Mar 15, 2018
2,960
10,016
Lots of good advice already. So I’ll just say this…

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Keep it light in life, nothing is as important or good or bad as it seems in the moment. Delay judgment of any situation, don’t let your own mind get in the way of doing the work. Best of luck.
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Leo Hartas

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
May 17, 2018
68
136
United Kingdom
Great and very useful comments.

Message from the Valley of Despair...

Me and my partner have been going through a ton of self doubt recently. Our website and book personalisation system is now live and sales are trickling in. It's been much harder than we thought getting this far, and we now have to figure out marketing. All along things we thought were fixed sometimes break or a dumb issue we'd never envisaged bites us hard.

Here are a few thoughts to throw into the mix.
1. It's problem solving again and again. In a way that's all it is.
2. Everything takes at least 10x more time, money, trouble than you imagined. So when you imagine the journey to success at the beginning, just x that by at least 10. Then if you come in quicker, under budget, etc. it won't seem so bad.
3. You will make mistakes. Often costly ones in both time and money. Just chalk it up to experience, correct as best you can and keep moving.
4. Building a product is a fraction of the work. It's marketing and selling that will be the majority of the work.
5. If you keep going you will start to understand every little corner of your systems and over time improve them. It's building on building on building.
6. Take the hits, get up, dust off and keep moving.
 

Matt Lee

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Aug 9, 2022
79
222
Most thoughts I would have at the beginning would be the initial thought that everyone else would have, then the self awareness "that's what other average people do and think" and then I would look one step beyond it to see something more nuanced or wise.
I thought you were cut from a different cloth and that you came out of the womb cold-blooded, hard, and a natural-a$$ kicker. It's nice to hear that your initial thoughts are the same as anyone else...

Jokes aside, man. Thanks for this. When I wrote this post I was wondering what you would say. Most of what you write is raw and honest and because of that, I resonate with your voice. I do mental gymnastics when I read your post and then I go "this is true why haven't I thought of that" or "why do people not say this more often". Then the answer is usually a combination of 1) they're lying or 2) they're not brave enough to be polarizing. In a way, your voice is similar to what I'd imagine my inner badass would remind me of when I'm feeling soft or that some truths are so simple it's hidden in plain sight.
So realize that everyone has stupid rationalizations and is full of BS about what to do, they are all rationalizing their position in life to you.
"You are right and they are wrong. They don't know what goes inside your head. They don't have your eyes. You are the visionary. What they see if black and white. What you see in full colors". This is what you remind me of and this is what I tell myself all the time. It has made a clear difference in how I see things. It's all thanks to a post you wrote years ago that I even think this way now.
 

Johnny boy

Legendary Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Speedway Pass
May 9, 2017
2,260
11,361
26
Washington State
I thought you were cut from a different cloth and that you came out of the womb cold-blooded, hard, and a natural-a$$ kicker. It's nice to hear that your initial thoughts are the same as anyone else...

Jokes aside, man. Thanks for this. When I wrote this post I was wondering what you would say. Most of what you write is raw and honest and because of that, I resonate with your voice. I do mental gymnastics when I read your post and then I go "this is true why haven't I thought of that" or "why do people not say this more often". Then the answer is usually a combination of 1) they're lying or 2) they're not brave enough to be polarizing. In a way, your voice is similar to what I'd imagine my inner badass would remind me of when I'm feeling soft or that some truths are so simple it's hidden in plain sight.

"You are right and they are wrong. They don't know what goes inside your head. They don't have your eyes. You are the visionary. What they see if black and white. What you see in full colors". This is what you remind me of and this is what I tell myself all the time. It has made a clear difference in how I see things. It's all thanks to a post you wrote years ago that I even think this way now.

Thank you for the kind words brother
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Robdavis

Bronze Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
Nov 16, 2022
116
148
United Kingdom
I think a big problem among posters here and even myself at times is self-doubt.

Self-doubt is the same as self-sabotage in my book so I do not listen to it. I lay out everything in plain sight so I don't listen to it. It is the enemy. Self-sabotage is something I hate with all my heart so when it comes up and I am filled with nothing but hatred and vengeance. I know I'm being dramatic, but I seriously hate this shit.

Despite all of this, I admit sometimes I subconsciously question myself especially when I'm having a shitty day due to not sleeping enough or something I can't control.

It's similar to what MJ talks about in the desert of the dissertation.

I have an answer to this question personally as I write this post and even so I think it'd be a pretty fun discussion to have and younger folks will find massive value. Plus it'd be pretty cool to pick your brains and thought process.

My thought is, I even write this out on 1 of my 2 whiteboards so I am reminded every morning: to choose to endure and keep on going because this is where real changes happen. All momentum will break if you stop. Nothing is worse than giving up and starting 10 different things when you can carry one venture out to the end. You are always losing time if you choose to not commit. Tough times is when competitions start to fall off and it's a great filter for those that have a commitment vs a whim of motivation. Consistency brings forth geniuses and giving up creates nothing but a dented ego and low self-esteem.

My question to you:

When you started off your entrepreneurial journey what were the things you told yourself, think of, and dreamed of? When you were starting your first few ventures and nothing was showing for your effort, what went on inside of your mind? Were you always a person who had unquestionable resolve and faith in yourself or did you build it along the way?

But what do you, especially the hard hitters, do when you feel it? Do you feel it at all even after gaining so many reference experiences?

What's your mental dialogue when self-doubt comes up? What experience shaped these mental dialogues?
A couple of things.
One, you have to trust yourself. This is mandatory. If you don't do that already then you have to learn to do it. It should just come with practice.
Two, by hating your self-sabotage, you are running the risk of making it worse. The reason is because your hate strengthens the habit of sabotage by focusing on it. So you'll never win this battle against yourself. You'll only lose.
The solution is to let go of the self-sabotage. You do this by accepting it rather than hating it. Allow yourself to come to the realisation that because you aren't 100% completely perfect, on some rare occasions in your life you will sabotage whatever activity you are doing. Afterwards you will realise that you just make a mistake, (the sabotage was an accident) and so you'll just go back and fix your mistake and then carry on with your life as if nothing happened. Because we all make mistakes right? One day you'll simply forget to sabotage yourself and you won't notice that you've forgotten.
In the land of mind calmness is generally strong and intense feelings (like hate) are generally weak so letting go will be a more powerful strategy than creating internal conflict.
Hope this helps.
 

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Guest post submissions offered HERE.

Must Read Books...

must read books
Download FREE and share!
Download
Explore books recommended by MJ DeMarco and other members of the Fastlane entrepreneurial community.
Fastlane Bookstore

Latest Posts

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top