“ BYE MOM, my turn to cut the cord !” – 24 year old moves out

[goldstein]

Hey Guys,


I’ve been wanting to contribute more to this community for a few months now, but I couldn’t figure out how I could offer something valuable. So, I thought about sharing an experience I’m going through right now that other youngsters might find useful. I also think it could be interesting if other forum members could share their own experiences as well.



Brief intro about me:


I’m turning 24 years old on Thursday. I’m a full-time student pursuing a Bachelor of Business degree with a concentration in entrepreneurship (got 1 year left). I work part-time for the federal government of Canada and I got a business venture that I’m currently working on and investigating.




So here it is,



In less than a month (May 1st) , I’m officially moving out of my mom’s house. I’m super excited, but holy **** I’m scared, lol. It’s a funny feeling actually. If I could describe it effectively, I’d say it’s a mixture of feelings of accomplishment, progress and hustling, but also small feelings of anxiety and loss of comfort and security. I LOVE it. In fact, I’ve noticed that a few people on this forum mentioned that moving out of their parent’s house was one of the best decision they’ve made for their Fast lane pursuit (including MJ if I recall correctly). I also think that this will turn out to be a very important event in my journey. The reason being very similar to MJ’s and others: gaining control of my home environment (better control of the food that is brought home, a calm & a quiet office room dedicated to a better working environment, less noise from inquiring parents, more independence, etc..)



For those who already took the leap, my questions to you guys are:

- what pushed you to finally do it?


- Did you notice any difference with your habits or thought processes prior to this decision?


- Did it affect the relationship between you and your parents? Positively or Negatively? (Don't need to answer that if it's too personal...)


- Do you have any lessons that you still carry on with you to this day?



In my case, it was my Mom’s toxic new boyfriend that pushed me to do it… You know, the classic “know-it-all” kind of dude who has an answer and an explanation for EVERYTHING. Anyway, he was a HUGE distraction and an unwanted source of stress that I had absolutely no control over.





The feeling I got when I realized that he was secretly planning his way into our home is probably the same as when you come back home and you see your new dog staring at you with a fake innocent smile and you realized that he has peed all over the house.





However, since I’ve made the decision to move, this stuff doesn't bother me anymore! In fact, I sleep better, I worry less and my relationship with my girlfriend is stronger than ever. Ironically, I would of thought that taking such an important decision in my life would have made me more worried ... But on the contrary, I feel aligned and at peace with this decision, regardless of the future obstacles. From my perspective, it seems like this is one of the very first critical events/decisions that are required on the fast lane journey.


Anyway, this is where I'm at so far,


Cheers!

 

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[p0stscript]

But on the contrary, I feel aligned and at peace with this decision,

It is amazing how just the very act of making a decision can make you feel this way. You'd think burning your bridges would cause fear and trepidation, but I've found it causes laser thinking and determination (although I will admit I've laft a lot of bridges unscathed in the past, just in case, it's not always easy to do it), time for me to get some matches I think, thanks for the inspiration.

 

[SteveO]

In my case, it was my Mom’s toxic new boyfriend that pushed me to do it… You know, the classic “know-it-all” kind of dude who has an answer and an explanation for EVERYTHING. Anyway, he was a HUGE distraction and an unwanted source of stress that I had absolutely no control over.

Congrats on the move. I think generations before you had different expectations. For example, back in the late 70's, I moved out of my house at the age of 17. There was no fanfare. Nobody gave a shit. I was booted from school and expected to get a job and move on.

Don't know anything about the BF. But he may be thinking that there are other expectations.

 

[goldstein]

It is amazing how just the very act of making a decision can make you feel this way. You'd think burning your bridges would cause fear and trepidation, but I've found it causes laser thinking and determination (although I will admit I've laft a lot of bridges unscathed in the past, just in case, it's not always easy to do it), time for me to get some matches I think, thanks for the inspiration.

Thanks for your response p0stscript,

Don’t get me wrong here, My girlfriend and I have been planning our way out for quite some time now. We waited until we both could afford it and went on to visit a few places and it just so happened that we got really lucky and found our match after only very few visits, but we had a PLAN in mind and we knew what we wanted. The key here was to make the decision and not look back. When you got a good hand, don’t hesitate to go all in.

 

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[goldstein]

Congrats on the move. I think generations before you had different expectations. For example, back in the late 70's, I moved out of my house at the age of 17. There was no fanfare. Nobody gave a sh*t. I was booted from school and expected to get a job and move on.

Don't know anything about the BF. But he may be thinking that there are other expectations.

Thanks for your response @SteveO ,

I agree, there was definitely a gap in our expectations. I would also think that our socioeconomic background might have influenced it. Whatever it is, I’m glad it happened, it was definitely the kick I needed to go out on my own.


P.s: I’ve read the thread about your story, it was very inspiring, thank you so much for sharing it with us !

 

[Sander]

Moved out when I was 18. An easy decision. Wanted my own place, where I could close my own door.

I think there are pros and cons with moving out.

If you are in a toxic enviroment at home, get the f*** out. Simply.

If you are in a really good enviroment, and you're about to start your entrepreneur journey, staying with your parents can be a great benefit.

If you earn money, either full time or part time, you can put almost all of the cash in your business.

You have a roof over your head. You have a bed. You have nice people around you (hopefully).

I couldn't get out quick enough, because I wanted my own place.

But it came with a price as well.

For example; Gained 75 pounds over a couple of years, because no one looked over my shoulder and cared about what I was buying. Pizzas, soft drinks, crisps etc.

Fast food, candy, crisps? HERE'S MY CREDIT CARD!

Learned this the hard way though, and I'm currently around 44 pounds down again from my max weight.

When you move out, you have to keep earning money. Depending on your choice, it can be quiet expensive. Specielly if you don't make that much money from your part time job or business yet.

But the freedom I felt when moving out was fantastic.

So my 2 cents are;

1. Don't eat like an idiot
2. Pay your bills.
3. Don't be a dick to your neighbours.
4. Enjoy the freedom to decide what to eat, who to have over, when to sleep, when to F*ck, when to hear music, when to party and so on. In a respectful way for everyone around you of course.

 

[goldstein]

Thank you @Sander for your response and sharing this !

Moved out when I was 18. An easy decision. Wanted my own place, where I could close my own door.

The feeling was the same on my part, BELIEVE ME, but I resisted the urge.. I was way too immature to live on my own.

If you are in a toxic enviroment at home, get the f*** out. Simply.

Yup, pretty sure it's my “F*ck This Event”.

If you are in a really good enviroment, and you're about to start your entrepreneur journey, staying with your parents can be a great benefit.

I agree, that was my plan initially and it was working good. I managed to save up a good start-up fund, but stuff happened and this was no longer viable. I had to get out.

For example; Gained 75 pounds over a couple of years, because no one looked over my shoulder and cared about what I was buying. Pizzas, soft drinks, crisps etc.

Fast food, candy, crisps? HERE'S MY CREDIT CARD!

Learned this the hard way though, and I'm currently around 44 pounds down again from my max weight.

That’s a tough lesson to learn. Great work on trying to go back on track !

When you move out, you have to keep earning money. Depending on your choice, it can be quiet expensive. Specielly if you don't make that much money from your part time job or business yet.

You’re absolutely right. Luckily for me, I found a great girl 4 years ago and we’ve been together even since. We will be moving in together and split our expenses between the two of us. She’s working full-time as a financial security advisor and she has been living with me at my parent’s house for 3 years now. I work part-time for the Federal Government, but it’s enough for me to cover all my expenses and have some freedom.

But the freedom I felt when moving out was fantastic.

Yup, can’t wait... I’m super excited, really looking forward to it.

So my 2 cents are;

1. Don't eat like an idiot
2. Pay your bills.
3. Don't be a dick to your neighbours.
4. Enjoy the freedom to decide what to eat, who to have over, when to sleep, when to f*ck, when to hear music, when to party and so on. In a respectful way for everyone around you of course.

Thank you for that, I’m taking notes !

 

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