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Literally everything is about taming the octopus.

Rabby

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I just wanted to mention this. Whenever I think about discipline and especially impulse control, I say "taming the octopus."

I call it that because the human brain is a lot like an octopus. No, really. It's always reaching out for things, stretching in several directions, holding on to something here while it moves its attention to that thing over there.

If you let it run wild, it's ruinous. But we have lots of traditional or recommended activities that are really no more than "taming the octopus."

Here are some examples:
  • Meditating to stop your mind from constantly wandering to "wanting" things and impulsively wasting time, shopping, etc.
  • Exercising control over impulse spending by following a budget, plan, savings routine, etc.
  • Fasting for all but a 2 hour period during the day to stop impulse eating.
  • Observing periods of silence to control wasteful, impulsive, or harmful speech.
  • Observing days of rest to reduce anxious, frenetic, wasteful activity.
  • Using business controls to avoid impulsive or useless spending, and busywork.
  • Limiting phone/email/facebook checking to certain times, or certain days, to avoid obsessing and task switching.
  • Using timers to divert your attention to a single activity, after which you can follow other impulses during a short break.
I could list these things forever, but the point is that they're the same abstract thing. You have an octopus in your head, and its tentacles are reaching for everything around you. To get any real work done, or to reach any goal, you have to tame the octopus, and learn to point those tentacles in one direction, doing one thing, for greater lengths of time.
 
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Rabby

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Recent example of double-octopus-taming...

We were looking at what we buy, and noticed we bought more than we "should" on Amazon.

Not that it was causing financial trouble or anything. But really, do we want to invest that money, or spend it on every new model of hair barrette? Do we value empty space in the house, or bottles of every herbal supplement that claims to instantly solve some problem? Let's go with investing and empty space, and nix the barrettes and weird supplements.

So what to do? I said, "let's only buy from Amazon on Friday." Any other day, we just add things to the cart or the list. Now instead of two people's impulses costing money and creating clutter, we have a new control.

The impulse is separated from the gratification, and that makes a big difference. The octopus will overload you with information, clutter your house, and give you diabetes and chronic anxiety. You don't want to kill it because it's your octopus. But you need to tame it!
 

Rabby

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I just want to document here what I also said over here on this other thread. A great thread.

For anyone struggling with discipline, I recommend challenging your assumption of what the word means.

Some of us grew up thinking discipline is what happens when the grownups pull the switches down from the wall.

Or we think it's that painful moment at the end of a long run. We think it's gritting our teeth through something painful. But that is not discipline... it's just gritting our teeth through something painful.

The biggest feature of discipline is not following every impulse. That includes both active and inert impulses.

We choose our behavior, directing it by establishing a pattern of our choosing. Without establishing those patterns, we're at the mercy of, again, the octopus.

We'll follow every shiny object, every momentarily interesting thing, every potential mate, every potential business, every excuse to stay in bed, every distraction.

And by following everything, we'll get nowhere and do nothing.
 

Rabby

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Reaching for facebook. Reaching for sugar. Reaching for alcohol. Reaching for possible-future-conversations that it can worry over. Reaching for entertainment. Reaching for a snack. Reaching for a smoke. Reaching, reaching, reaching. Reaching for all manner of distraction.

To tame the octopus, you have to teach it to be still.
 
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Rabby

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I like that as a metaphor for self acceptance ;). Nice thread btw! And interesting writing style.

Thank you :)

Excellent observation Rabby.
The subject is dealt with well in a book called The Chimp Paradox by Prof. Steven Peters. He refers to it as a chimp.

Sounds like a fun read, I will have to check it out!
 
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ChrisV

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Literally Everything Is About Taming The Octopus.

I just wanted to mention this. Whenever I think about discipline and especially impulse control, I say "taming the octopus."

bump.

After many years of life, I've come to the same conclusion. And the data backs that up.

Great thread.
 

LifeTransformer

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I seem to keep stumbling into things that I need at the right time as of late, today that's this thread.

My octopus is currently reaching for about 8 different business ideas, just like it always does. It's constantly been my struggle since trying to become a true entrepreneur.

I actually found this thread via Gravy's hustle thread which also seemed to pop up on my radar at just the right time.

I'm still reading too much, including the forum if I'm honest, and the octopus is constantly making reach in multiple directions and leaving me stuck in the middle.

See if the octopus reaches out in every direction, and tries to latch on to something with each of its 8 arms, then the octopus can't possibly move very far can he?

No, because he's trapped.
 

Rabby

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MJ DeMarco

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Several years old, and it seems I missed this. The lesson here is quite similar to my post on life being a rigged carnival game because of the havoc your mind wreaks.

Upgraded to GOLD.
 

tpuffer

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This is geared toward careers, but it actually refers to our brains as a Yearning Octopus.

Not sure if @Rabby had read it prior to the initial post?
 

Rabby

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Woot! My fist time hitting GOLD! Thank you, thank you, working on Platinum for my next album ;)
 
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Rabby

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DavidePaco00

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Recent example of double-octopus-taming...

We were looking at what we buy, and noticed we bought more than we "should" on Amazon.

Not that it was causing financial trouble or anything. But really, do we want to invest that money, or spend it on every new model of hair barrette? Do we value empty space in the house, or bottles of every herbal supplement that claims to instantly solve some problem? Let's go with investing and empty space, and nix the barrettes and weird supplements.

So what to do? I said, "let's only buy from Amazon on Friday." Any other day, we just add things to the cart or the list. Now instead of two people's impulses costing money and creating clutter, we have a new control.

The impulse is separated from the gratification, and that makes a big difference. The octopus will overload you with information, clutter your house, and give you diabetes and chronic anxiety. You don't want to kill it because it's your octopus. But you need to tame it!
Delaying istant gratification makes you capable of sustaining the process. personally i found out that the best tools are meditation, cold showers and Nofap, even tho it tends to get diminishing returns after the 10 day mark).

The best thing to acknowkedge in my opininon, is that in order to sustain a journey like entrepreneurship, or martial arts, moderation is key.

I
burned out a lot of times because of overtraining, and I've been depressed for a year. What I ackowledged is that in order to sustain a lifelong self improvment poursuit, You should give yourself breaks.

The classic "tough" mindset can only get you so far. Working out 3 hours a day while you sleep 6 hours and doing two different jobs is nogt sustainable over a log period of time.

It's hard to recognize this in an age where everyone tries do to more. The thing is that, You ave a limited amount of energy during a day. Personally, I found out that I can push trough 2-3 months of high stress periods because i burn ou... And I 've realized that doing thing 60 % effort everyday makes the precess enjoyable and sustainable over the months, and eventually, the years.

These are my two cents, Do You agree with them?
 

Rabby

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Delaying istant gratification makes you capable of sustaining the process. personally i found out that the best tools are meditation, cold showers and Nofap, even tho it tends to get diminishing returns after the 10 day mark).

The best thing to acknowkedge in my opininon, is that in order to sustain a journey like entrepreneurship, or martial arts, moderation is key.

I
burned out a lot of times because of overtraining, and I've been depressed for a year. What I ackowledged is that in order to sustain a lifelong self improvment poursuit, You should give yourself breaks.

The classic "tough" mindset can only get you so far. Working out 3 hours a day while you sleep 6 hours and doing two different jobs is nogt sustainable over a log period of time.

It's hard to recognize this in an age where everyone tries do to more. The thing is that, You ave a limited amount of energy during a day. Personally, I found out that I can push trough 2-3 months of high stress periods because i burn ou... And I 've realized that doing thing 60 % effort everyday makes the precess enjoyable and sustainable over the months, and eventually, the years.

These are my two cents, Do You agree with them?
I think the Classic mindset is that it's important to be in control of yourself. Furthermore, that there is no liberty if you are a slave to your every whim. A person who can not even control their own actions, you can observe, may fall into many bad situations. They can only aimlessly wander through life, treating goals like fantasies. They might undo their own progress for trivial short-term gratification. They are easy to manipulate. Can't resist something? There's a person in the world who will find you, and put that thing a few feet in front of you, over and over again. So control over the self, particularly the emotional self, is a fundamental skill and value, a prerequisite for accomplishing anything.

Beyond that, it's a good idea to remain vigilant against the revolt of the octopus. Most of us here, I assume, are in control of our actions. At least, the important ones, most of the time. Doubtless we can tell when something is a truly bad idea, and avoid that thing. But along come addictions, shortcuts, temptations, stress, tiredness, and anyone's judgement may ebb and flow. That's when having a structure -- any reasonable structure that you've decided on -- will support you. Call it a moral framework, personal rules, values, principles, guidelines, or whatever, but it's surely better to have it than not.
 
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DavidePaco00

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I think the Classic mindset is that it's important to be in control of yourself. Furthermore, that there is no liberty if you are a slave to your every whim. A person who can not even control their own actions, you can observe, may fall into many bad situations. They can only aimlessly wander through life, treating goals like fantasies. They might undo their own progress for trivial short-term gratification. They are easy to manipulate. Can't resist something? There's a person in the world who will find you, and put that thing a few feet in front of you, over and over again. So control over the self, particularly the emotional self, is a fundamental skill and value, a prerequisite for accomplishing anything.

Beyond that, it's a good idea to remain vigilant against the revolt of the octopus. Most of us here, I assume, are in control of our actions. At least, the important ones, most of the time. Doubtless we can tell when something is a truly bad idea, and avoid that thing. But along come addictions, shortcuts, temptations, stress, tiredness, and anyone's judgement may ebb and flow. That's when having a structure -- any reasonable structure that you've decided on -- will support you. Call it a moral framework, personal rules, values, principles, guidelines, or whatever, but it's surely better to have it than not.
I completely agree with it. Usuallyy when I 'm completely relax and I go for a walk It's there that I make some important relaization about my life. The bes way to learn is actually by making mistakes, here we say " Nessuno nasce imparato", wich literally means "nobody borns learned" :)
 

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